#jay plays assassins creed odysessy

[storieswrittcnarch]

i keep running ppl over with my horse and it’s so funny

[storieswrittcnarch]

I TOTALLY JUST FELT LIKE A BADASS. i assassinated a dude who was making a speech in front of a bunch of people with my bow and then rode off on my horse and never got detected.

[storieswrittcnarch]

I JUST WASTED TIME DESTROYING A ISLAND’S RESOURCES I WASN’T SUPPOSED TO DESTORY. IM. MY BAD Y’ALL.

[storieswrittcnarch]

CATCH ME CRYING OVER KASSANDRA AND NATAKAS HAVING A CHILD

[storieswrittcnarch]

it’s one thing to run over people on your horse in this game yourself, it’s another to see some dude you’re following plow right through them on his horse and see them go flying. i can’t stop laughing

[storieswrittcnarch]

there’s so many lines in this game that makes me giggle

kassandra, to a child: you should be nicer to adults

child: why? what have adults ever done for me?

kassandra: fair enough

like. that was a whole ass mood growing up.

[storieswrittcnarch]

we did it lads. no shark hunting needed.

[storieswrittcnarch]

this woman just said daggers are like cute lil baby swords and i’m dying

[storieswrittcnarch]

AC: Odyssey: hey go towards the water, there’s loot!!

me, knowing full well there’s sharks in this game: AIN’T NO AMOUNT OF LOOT WORTH THAT BYE

[storieswrittcnarch]

kassandra: if you know the old stories, you know what zeus is especially good at

this woman: if you have that kind of talent, just call me pandora

me: getting what she means INSTANTLY AND LAUGHING MY ASS OFF

[storieswrittcnarch]

logically, i know there will be no sharks in this damn lake. logically i know that. but in order to get to this damn island, i either have to find a boat or swim across the lake and uh that gives me so much anxiety

[storieswrittcnarch]

i quit this game, there’s no way to proceed that won’t take me hours getting this money WITHOUT dealing with sharks. i refuse to go in the water with them, no thank you.

[storieswrittcnarch]

the fucking ANXIETY when i have to go in water in video games

[storieswrittcnarch]

NO NATAKAS. IM CRYING. WHERE’S HER SON AM I GONNA CRY EVEN MORE. the way kasandra’s begging him to open his eyes. NO ONE TOLD ME THIS GAME WOULD HURT SO MUCH DAMN IT.

[storieswrittcnarch]

IS THERE A ROMANCE GOING ON BETWEEN KASSANDRA AND NATAKAS BC THE WAY THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER SURE AS HELL READS LIKE A ROMANCE. IF THIS GAME DOESN’T LET ME ROMANCE HIM I SWEAR IMMA FLIP.

[storieswrittcnarch]

me: in sparta, which i’m supposed to be getting my citizinship back for

also me: what if i take sparta from them and conquer it all, will that have consequences.