#javier peña x fe!reader

[marvelwitchergilmore]

Blood Washed Away

Summary: Javier Peña x Fe!Reader -> You first met Peña when you transferred to Columbia with Messina. You made friends with Agent Javier Peña but what happens when you join his team and he discovers he almost loses you?

Disclaimer: Angst, descriptions of blood, bruises, fire (although not too deep). Sprinkling of fluff, mostly takes place in season 2 and season 3. Does not have too much with the main plots of Narcos other than mentions of the Cali cartel and Escobar. No particular time line. A made up case (Robbins). Angst background. Co-workers to friends to potentially more. {If any of this is triggering to you, please do not read on - this is your warning}

You first met Peña when you transferred with Messina. You had been her secretary at the time although you did have experience in the field. That was what was most shocking to Peña and Murphy at the time. This woman, who walked past them every day, stamping files and organising meetings whilst the hem of her skirt breezed around her knees and her heels clicked against the cold floor, had been one of the best agents in the FBI. 

You had started out at a small precinct before moving into Major Crimes. From there, you climbed the career pole. There weren't many people like yourself; a woman. But you proved yourself. Your bosses, although male, saw your potential and saw you more than just an object of desire. Their bosses, however, didn’t. But after they watched you take down three of their ‘best’ men, they thought it over again. 

You had found yourself as Messina’s secretary a year and half before the transfer to Columbia. And after spending the next year or more in Columbia, you were itching to get back in. 

You were a good cop. And, for what it was worth, you liked your job. You didn’t know how much longer you could take staring at files and seeing people rush around you, ignoring some of the other cases. 

So, on Peña’s first day hunting the Cali cartel, he was more than surprised to find you already at your desk and not in your usual blouse, skirt and heels combo. Rather, you were dressed in boots, dark jeans and a shirt. 

Somehow, it was the same words, just different font. 

Peña called your name as he saw you, a stack of files in your hands, open. 

“Why aren’t you with Messina?”

“New job. Figured you could use a friendly face.” You smiled, closing the files in your hand before handing them over. “Couple calls came over the radio this morning.”

This was when Peña spotted the licenced gun attached to your hip. 

He’d never seen you with one, let alone touch you. 

“You’re an Agent?”

“Don’t sound so shocked.”

“No, no. Just…surprised. When did you…” 

Peña didn’t know what to ask first. Get training? Get a gun? Join the DEA? Quit being a secretary? 

You smiled softly. “I was a Fed before I quit and became a secretary. But, I wanted back in. The board allowed it and here I am.”

“To babysit me?”

“No, well…not intentionally.”

The next few months were tough but having you by his side, knowing that there was someone to turn to when he didn’t exactly know which call to make…made it easier. 

You had become friendly back in Bogotá. Of course, he tried flirting at first but that was quickly shut down when you told him all he needed to do was ask. 

Of course, some things couldn’t be pulled without Messina’s approval but since everyone had been desperate for the capture of Escobar that it was truly only highly classified information that couldn’t be accessed. 

Over the course of your stay in Columbia, under Peña’s ruling, you had both grown closer. You trusted each other and, eventually, one night as you both sat in his office having a drink, he felt comfortable enough to ask you why you had left the FBI. 

“You haven’t looked at my file?”

Peña shook his head as he took another drink. “Didn’t seem fair.”

“You're my boss.” You pointed out.

“Technically.”

You sighed, looking at your honey-coloured liquor. 

“Messina mentioned something about Seattle. You'd be transferred.”

You nodded. “I wanted out. I’d been leading a case and it had been going on for months. It felt like every time we got close, we were further than when we’d started.”

Peña knew a thing or two about that. 

“Anyway, we tracked the guy to Seattle. He’d been going from state to state until finally he came right under our noses. Anyway…”

The memories came back to you for a moment, but Peña waited for you to continue. 

“Anyway, it turned out it had been an inside job. What we thought was just five bodies, turns out - it was closer to 25.”

Peña thought about it for a moment after the initial shock. The case sounded familiar to him. 

Then it hit him. 

“Robbins.” 

You nodded. 

The case had been all over the news. How bodies were covered up by a Fed. How the murderer, Robbins, had gotten away with it for so long because he was the ME on the job. 

“But the officer-“ Peña paused. 

It had just been a rumour in the media but nothing was ever confirmed. Most of the public had taken it as the truth.

“I needed out of the game for a while,” you told him. “And the agency needed to make sure there was no one else in the office working on the case.” 

“So how did you end up with Messina?”

“Friend of a friend.” You told him. “She was looking for a secretary and I had taken a couple classes back in college. Plus, I came ready trained. I got the job and didn’t look back.”

“But now you’re back in.”

You nodded. “But now I’m back in.” You raised your glass in the air and Peña followed suit. “To the game, may we beat these bastards before they beat us.”

“Ditto.”

Both you and Peña downed the rest of your drinks and eventually, you both went home. It had been a long week and you both needed a break. 

A few months passed by before shit took a turn. 

Of course, there were plenty of dangers that came with the job. The main one was putting your life on the line and in the clear to be shot. Or worse. 

But maybe that was just the job. Risk your life for others so others don’t have to. So this game can be over before the bastards get you. 

You had been with a witness. They’d been one of the people who could get you to the Cali men. But- 

Sat in his office, Peña kept his eyes trained on the case files in front of him. Was the pile actually growing bigger? 

He took a final drag of his cigarette before stubbing it out. He shuffled some of the remaining papers as he stood before walking over to his file cabinets in his office. 

For a moment, he thought he heard his name called but everyone had already gone home to their families or their beds. 

But when the voice sounded closer, although still as quiet, he looked over his left shoulder and did a double take. Or maybe his eyes were registering to the sight of red. 

You were covered in red. He couldn’t tell whether it was yours or somebody else’s. Dirt was under your nails and you had gravel scars across your palms. There was a small hole in the knee of your jeans. Where you had empty spots of blood, ash covered them. 

Your name escaped his lips before his mind could even register it was you. 

You raised your hand a little bit then you saw the blood and the dirt and the scars. A whimper escaped your lips before you looked at Peña. 

“I- I went to a farm when I was a kid and- and I saw them slaughter a- a pig. There- there was s-s-s so much,” you swallowed thickly, “blood. B-but I-I-I didn’t - others were scared but I-I - it was natural. A girl- I forget her name but she-she fainted. They-they went down like bricks. There-there was just - blood. I didn’t- I didn’t expect- and I’ve seen people-“

Peña’s hands gripped your face, causing you to look at him. Your voice was unsteady, your whole body was shaking either from panic, adrenaline or fear. Maybe all of the above. 

Whilst you had been talking, Peña had been checking you over. Some of the blood was yours but you were alive. Alive and terrified. Alive, terrified and shaking. He needed to calm you down.

“Hey!” you went silent as you registered him in front of you. “Hey, look at me. What happened?”

“They knew where we were. They- I should have seen them.”

That was when another agent, less covered in blood, but still the similar look of fear on his face, ran inside. 

“Stay here.”

“N-No. Don’t leave.”

Peña looked at you, his eyes, as much as he tried to hide it, held nothing but sadness and sorrow. He’d seen you deal with all the assholes and he’d heard stories. You were always brave. You were always the one there for him. The one who would come in when he had spent too much time letting the job get to him, physically pull the papers away from him, pick him from his chair and push him out of his office. 

“Just because you’re doing stuff by the book this time does not equal burning yourself out. Come on, we’re getting drinks. Or food. Whichever one is open.” You would tell him. You’d grab his jacket from the hanger and lock his office behind him. You talk the case over with him. And, even if it was half way through the meal and 2 in the morning, you’d go with him when he solved something. 

“Alright, let’s go,” you’d reply. 

But seeing you like this…his heart broke. 

“I’ll be there. I’m not leaving you.”

You nodded, seeing where he was pointing and let go of his arm. Slowly, he walked over to the other agent, however his eyes still went back to you as he did so and as he continued to talk to the agent in front of him. 

“The medics, they wanted to keep her there but she didn’t want to stay. She needs a hospital but she wanted to find you first. She told me to wait but the medics-”

“Okay, just…leave the bag. I’ll make sure she’s okay.”

The agent nodded, dropping the bag by the table. “Do you know what happened?”

“Not yet, Sir.”

“Well, find out. I want to know everything. Do you know who’s making the calls to family?”

He mentioned a couple other agents but some of the members who were left, Peña said he’d cover them. 

“We’re still trying to find addresses and numbers but once I’ve got them, I’ll drop them by your desk.”

“Right, okay.”

After that, the agent left. Peña picked up the medical bag before walking back to his office. You stood in the same spot, examining your hands. It was like it was still happening. You were seeing the car behind you tailing, then the lights and the sound before the car tipped. You were pulling yourself out before helping your informant. The driver was already gone. Your head was spinning. You helped them stand and then- blood splatter. Bullets. Your witness was dead. There was fire everywhere, bullets flying back and forth. You emptied your canister but you couldn’t remember why, just yet. 

“Hey, look at me.”

You looked at Peña. 

With gentle movements, he helped you sit down before he pulled out a chair for himself and opened up the bag. You were mostly silent as he cleaned at your open wounds. You’d need a hospital to examine your head and make sure you don’t have a concussion, though both of you knew you probably did. And whiplash. 

The cuts didn’t seem too deep but he cleaned them out as best as he could. Over the slightly deeper one’s he placed a gause and some tape. He couldn’t get all the blood off you. You’d need a shower. 

“Let me take you home.”

You gave no protest. Just, taking his hand in yours, he helped you stand. 

After leaving the office, you don’t remember much of the ride. The smell of burning tires still hadn’t left your nostrils and you were fearful it never would. It was as if you could still feel the heat on your face from the fire. 

Javier helped you into your apartment, locking the door behind you. And he helped you throughout the night. 

You trusted him as he did so. 

His hands were gentle as he helped you undress from the blood soaked clothing. It had left its stains against your skin. By the time Javier helped you into the shower, he watched as the stains fell into the shower drain, but there was still some reddening around your body. 

Bruises. 

Gently, he pushed your head under the water, letting the water run through your hair, the ash from the smoke now following the blood. 

He looked around for a moment before catching your eyes. It was silent communication. You had already silently said it was okay for him to help you undress and get into the shower, and now you were saying yes for him to help you some more. 

It was a little awkward at first. He didn’t want to accidentally hurt you. So, with care, he massaged shampoo through your hair, being sure to not let it drip onto your face though you didn’t care. In that moment, you were numb. Numb from the blood and from the explosion. Maybe a little pain is what you needed to remind yourself that you were alive and human. 

You scrubbed yourself down as best as you could, the bruising still tender across all of your body. 

Stepping away from the shower, Peña pulled the soft and warm towel from the radiator before holding it out. You stepped out of your shower and allowed him to wrap it around you. 

He didn’t care that your hair was still wet, although thankfully now clean. He didn’t care if his shirt was wet or his arms still had bubbles from the shampoo that had splashed across him. All he cared about in that moment was you. 

You were safe. In his arms, you were alive and you were safe. 

He held you close to him. Your face lay against his chest and his arms came around you to just hold you. He placed three kisses on top of your head, one to your temple, one a little higher and the final on top of your head. His hand held the back of your head whilst the other went straight across your back. He pressed you a little closer. 

Resting his chin on top of your head, he closed his eyes for a moment, letting the moment soak in. He could have lost you tonight. He could have never seen you again and never have been able to hold you as he was in that moment. 

Neither of you knew how much time had passed before he helped you squeeze the last drops of water from your hair and left you in your room to change into your clean clothes. But, some of it felt too long. Like when he wasn’t with you. 

But, by the time you stepped out of your room, your bare feet padding across the floor and into your kitchen, you found him standing there. He was wearing a fresh pair of clothes. You knew he kept a spare set in his car.

“Here,” Javier pulled out a chair from your kitchen-side island, “sit down.”

You nodded, thanking him quietly. “Are you cooking?”

He looked from the pan, to you and back again. “Oh, yeah.”

“Didn’t know you could cook.”

“Well, don’t say that yet. This might be bad.”

He was making frittata from what you could see. It didn’t look too bad. 

“Thank you,” you finally managed to get out. You’d been thanking him the whole night, in your head at least. But…saying it out loud opened the gates to you talking about what happened. But it was inevitable. “for helping me. I- I don’t know-”

Javier shook his head. “Don’t thank me. I might…I might be your boss but I’m also your friend. I was your friend before I was your boss.”

You nodded. 

“You should drink something, before you dehydrate.”

You nodded and before you could move, he already placed a glass of cold water in front of you. You thanked him again.

“Plates?”

“Top cupboard, to your left.”

Javier looked up before opening the cupboard to find a stack of plates, bowls and pasta dishes. He pulled two plates out before halving the dish and sliding the pieces from the pan and onto the plates. 

After that, he placed a plate in front of you before handing you a fork. 

“Don’t judge me too harshly.”

You took the fork from him with contemplation. But, as you took a bite, you looked back at him. 

“You can cook.”

Javi smiled back at you when your mouth curved a little before you went back to eating. Minutes passed by and neither of you said a word. You could both hear the noises of the outside streets from the window. Some people were still awake, others were in bed asleep. 

But, as the more time passed, the more you felt the adrenaline die down. You also found yourself talking about it all to Peña   before you’d go to sleep and forget some aspect. 

“It can wait until tomorrow-”

“No, I- I want to tell you before-” before you dreamt of it when you fell asleep? Before you woke up and it turned out you never made it to the office? Before you realized none of it was real and you hadn’t made it out of the car in the first place? 

So, you told him everything you could remember. You’d checked all the mirrors, every 15 seconds. You looked around the buildings every 40. There had been no one. 

Until there were multiple. 

“It’s not your fault,” Javier told you. “You did your job.”

“But I should have- I should have known.”

“They got us this time, but we’ll get them. Sooner or later, we’ll get them.”

Not too long after that, Javier helped you towards your bedroom once more before making sure you were in bed. Except, before he could leave, you grabbed his hand. 

He stayed with you that night, laying beside you. He watched your hand squeeze his back as he took your hand back in his. He tailed his eyes from your hand, up your body to where you were breathing, to your neck. Though he couldn’t see the pulse, he wanted to make sure it was still there, and finally to your sleeping face. You looked so calm. So at peace. 

It was going to be tough, he knew that. But, he couldn’t think of anything else other than you in that moment. How, the difference between the shooter's bullet would be the difference between him lying by your side, watching you breath in your sleep and watching your body be rolled away by the coroner to be examined. He doesn’t do funerals, but yours - in Columbia - would be the exception. 

But he didn’t want to think of that. He couldn’t think of that. 

All that mattered was that you were alive, and you were safe and you were with him, beside him. 

One way or another, he’d get the bastards and he’d be sure to get them before they got him and definitely before they got you. 

[marvelwitchergilmore]

To Shitty Days and Shitty Families

Summary: Javier Peña x Fe!Reader - Your parents come to Columbia to visit you at work only they seem to be more interested in your personal life than they do your work. 

Disclaimer: Shitty families, patriarchy I suppose. Swearing, angst, ideology that women are only fit for marriage- reader argues against this point. Reader stands up for herself, Javi talks with her folks when she leaves. 

You had been dreading it all day since first listening to your answering machine that morning. And everyone could see it in you. Steve had taken one look at you as he stood outside the complex kissing goodbye to Connie and knew something was wrong. 

“You look like someone just shot you.” Connie added. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. I-I’ll see you at work.”

By the time you pulled up to work, you spent half of the day bouncing your leg under the desk as you tried your best to fill out the usual paperwork and the only time you said what was going on, out loud, was when you were stood on the steps of the Embassy with Peña as he smoked his cigarettes. Despite you having a habit of removing them from him, he still continued to smoke. 

“Who are you looking for? You look like Steve when he goes duck hunting.”

“My parents are coming.”

“To the Embassy.”

“The Embassy, Columbia. Here. Wherever.”

“And you’re worried because…”

“Because they haven’t talked to me in almost three years and now are coming to Columbia.”

“That’s nice.”

“No. No it’s not.”

Peña nodded. “Okay.”

“If you see a cab pull up, shout for me, okay?”

“Sure.” Peña could see the worry in your eyes as you searched the parking lot once more before turning around and heading back inside. 

Only, Peña wasn’t outside when they turned up. So, instead, they walked inside, found your desk and stood there, examining the mess and tutting. 

“She could never keep anything tidy. Always messy. Always the family mess.”

“Can I help you?” Steve asked as he approached. 

Somehow, from the time it took you walking from the evidence room after hearing the familiar click of heels to reaching your desk, your mother had already seemed to have painted herself a saint to Murphy and Peña. 

“Where is she anyway? You know, she could never keep time in high school, either. Always marked late.”

Both Peña and Murphy highly doubted that since you were always early - to everything. Hell, you’d get into work an hour earlier than them. But, they decided not to question your mother who already seemed distracted in scanning your entire body with her eyes making you suddenly aware of your skin and one of the many reasons why you were glad you left the states. 

Your mother awkwardly moved in to hug you, making the whole thing a clear spectacle for onlookers. “You’ve gotten thicker, dear.”

“Mom.”

“Oh, just a jest, dear. Just a jest.” your mother laughed. “I’ve just met your bosses.”

“They’re not my bosses, mom. They’re my partners.”

“Oh.” That seemed to be the first shock to your mom. “Well, they’re handsome all the same and since you all seem to be friends, I’ve invited them to dinner with us tonight. And you’ll be bringing your wife, no doubt Agent Murphy?”

Steve nodded, though the look from you made him question if he should have said yes. 

“Wouldn’t miss meeting your parents for the world, Agent.” Steve smiled at you. 

“I’ve left you a note on your desk on where to meet us. If you can find it amongst this mess. And 7 o’clock sharp, dear. I know what you’re like for time keeping. It was nice to meet you boys. See you all soon.”

You wanted the ground to swallow you whole and take you to Hell now.

Far too soon for your liking, 7 o’clock rolled around. 

Murphy and Connie were already there with your parents, sat in the very back of the restaurant, glasses of wine just poured. Peña must have only just arrived as he was still standing and seemed a little out of breath as he made his way round, kissing your mother’s cheek, Connie’s and shaking your father’s hand whilst he shook Steve’s shoulder. 

“Late again, I see.” your mother said as you finally reached the table. 

“By two minutes, mom. I had to find parking.”

“Never mind, you’re here now, finally.” Your mom seemed to stress the word ‘finally’ before turning to Steve and Connie. “Shall we order? I know it takes my daughter a while to choose what she wants. She’s always been like that with her life.”

You tried your best to keep your breathing steady. “Mom.”

“What?” your mother laughed. “Oh, I’m just joking, honey. You know that.”

You looked to your napkin covered plate, trying to subtly take in deep breaths. “You okay?” 

You looked to your left as leaned into Peña who, for the first time in a while, seemed…concerned. You faked a smile as best as you could. “I’m fine.”

“So, Peña.”

“Javi, please.”

“Javi.” your mother smiled. “You’re working with Steve to catch Escobar? Oh, that must be so dangerous. But, I’m sure someone like yourself is able to handle it.”

“He works with me, too, mom.” you pointed out only, she seemed to ignore that. 

Javi looked at you for a quick moment before turning back to your mother. “It’s dangerous for anyone being an American in Columbia.”

From across the table, Connie shot you a look which, in total honesty, you didn’t fully know if you returned it. All you wanted to do was get over this meal and go home. 

“I am famished.” Connie announced. “What are we all eating?” she scanned her eyes over the menu and you tried your best to thank her telepathically across the table. 

“Well, I’m sure my daughter is still deciding.”

“Actually, I know what I want, mom.”

“Oh, well…that’s a change.”

By the time the waiter came around and took your order, your mother trying to order and loudly shouting Spanish in a very clear American accent, you were ready to leave. 

You gave your order, your voice at a normal decibel, your Spanish rolling off the tongue, your mother looked to you slowly. “No need to show off, dear.”

“I wasn’t-”

“Darling, just because your mother doesn’t have the best Spanish, doesn’t mean you should make her look stupid.”

“What? I-”

Before you could even think about finishing your sentence, your mother turned to Connie. “Constance, dear.”

“Please, call me Connie.”

“Of course, honey.” your mother smiled. “Tell me, what is married life like? I remember when I married my dear, dear husband. Oh, I was so happy.”

Your mother continued to ramble about her wedding day - a story you had heard every day of your life before you left to join the DEA in Columbia. Meanwhile, you took a large gulp of your wine trying to convince yourself it was whiskey from Peña’s desk drawer and instead of being sat in a candle-lit restaurant, you were back at your desk, drowning in work files all the while the alcohol burned your throat. 

“I think I’m gonna be sick,” you whispered under your breath and in return you felt Peña’s hand lay itself on your thigh. 

“Just give me a signal and I’ll get us all out of here. I think Steve is about to throw himself out of the door.”

“I wouldn’t blame him.”

Peña smiled at you before turning back to the rest of the table where you found your mother still talking. 

“Oh, and when my Rosie got married? Oh, that was the happiest day of my life!”

“Thanks, mom.”

“Oh, dear, you know what I mean.”

“It’s not kind to poke fun at your mother, darling.” your father added. 

“But it was. It was the happiest day of my life seeing my darling daughter get married and have a good, strapping man on her arm.”

“There’s more to life than just getting married, mom.” This has been your argument your entire life. Your mother always wanted you to get married and the day you said you were leaving for Columbia instead of announcing your engagement to your now ex-boyfriend…that was a long day. 

“Don’t argue with your mother, darling.”

You took another deep breath and another gulp of wine. 

“Don’t drink too much, dear. We wouldn’t want you to embarrass the family anymore.”

It was still your first glass. And it, somehow, miraculously, remained half full. 

“I’m sorry?”

“Oh, look, here comes the food.” Connie announced as the waiter approached. 

Thankfully, this deterred the conversation for fifteen minutes whilst the waiter handed the correct dishes to each person. Your mother thanked them rather loudly once more. 

“Mom, they’re not deaf. You don’t have to yell.”

Your father called your name. “Don’t be rude to your mother.” he scolded. 

“Oh, no, dear. Don’t worry. She’s just on one tonight.” your mother replied before sitting back down and looking at your plate in disgust. “Are you really going to eat all of that?”

It was a normal sized bowl with chicken soup and bread. Except, the way your mother spoke to you made it sound as if the bowl was a sharing size and was filled with nothing but crap. 

“You know, I could have ordered for you.”

“I don’t want salad, mother.”

“Well, forgive me for trying to look out for the well-being of my child.”

“Why don’t you just focus on yourself and Rosie and I’ll be completely fine.”

It was now that your mother looked to Connie, Steve and Javi. “I am so sorry about her. She gets like this sometimes. I told her, if she married the man she had, she wouldn’t be this uptight and worried.”

“I didn’t want to marry Daniel, mom. You know that.”

“I understand you like to rebel against me and make me out as the bad guy, y/n. But, one day, you will realise I’m just doing what is best for you.”

“Best for me or best for you, mom?”

“Now, what exactly are you excusing me for, dear?”

“Darling, don’t pick a fight here. I understand you like to make a scene but-”

“Make a scene?”

“She was always dramatic as a kid,” your mother explained to the rest of the table. 

“Mom, please don’t talk about me as if I’m not here.”

“See,” your mother tried to point out. “Even at Rosie’s wedding, she tried to stop it.”

“Because she wasn’t sure if she wanted to get married!” you raised your voice a little. 

“But she did! And now she had two beautiful little children and a wonderful home and a caring husband. Don’t shout at me just because you wanted her life. Because you could have had it.”

“You think I want her life? Sat at home looking after two children whilst her husband flies from state to state and barely knows his own children?”

“Maybe we should-” Connie went to stand but your mother put her hand out to her. 

“No, dear, please, sit down.” your mother smiled. “She’s just annoyed that her life isn’t how she thought it would be.”

“I didn’t want to marry him, mom.” you repeated. “Can you hear me?”

“Just eat your soup, dear.” your mother scolded. “There is no need to embarrass me any further.”

“Your mother is right, darling. Why don’t you eat your soup? If you're not happy with it, your mother will happily order you a salad.”

“I said I didn’t want a salad.”

“Remember dear, a moment on the lips, forever on the hips.” one of your mother’s favourite quotes. “And from here I can already see some of the fat building. You know you’ll never get a husband looking like that or doing what you do.”

“I don’t want a husband!” you yelled. “I didn’t want to marry Danny or stay in America. You! You wanted me married off so you could brag to your friends that your daughters got married before Carrie’s. You’d rather have me marry someone I never loved, someone who would rather sleep with every woman on legs in the whole fucking city, including the darling daughters of your friends, than have me join the police academy and come to Columbia.”

“Dear, lower your voice. People are staring!” your mother scolded through gritted teeth. 

“I did something with my life, mom.” you pointed out. “Any parent would be proud if they’re kid was happy. But no, not you. You’d only be happy if I lived by your rules and followed your footsteps to a life of complete fucking boredom.”

“You should watch your mouth, young lady.” your mother warned. “No one wants a woman who has a mouth like you.”

All you could do was let out a laugh whilst holding back your anger as best as you could. “You know what, mom. I-I can’t do this. Just…just go home. Tell Rosie I’m alive or tell her nothing. I wouldn’t want to be an embarrassment to you anymore than I already have. Sorry, guys.”

You apologised quickly to your teammates before you threw your napkin onto the table and grabbed your jacket. You laid a couple bills on the table before walking away. The waiter must have watched the whole thing because, as you made your way to the exit, he gave you a bittersweet smile. 

“I’ll wrap your food up and have Popsy send it over.”

“That’s alright,” you replied. “I’m not hungry anymore.”

With that, you left the restaurant and headed to your car before driving away.  Meanwhile, back at the table, Steve, Connie and Javi all sat in shock. You never revealed much about your family but whatever they had just witnessed was the last thing they thought they’d ever expect. Even as it happened, none of them could comprehend it. 

“On that note, we’re going to take off.” Steve announced standing up before asking the waiter if they could have the rest of their food packed to-go. However, Javi remained seated. Connie leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before Steve shook his hand and they both left with the brown bag in their hand. 

“I’m-”

“You should be proud of her, you know.” Javi said before confirming your name so they knew 100% completely who he was talking about. “Before she came down here, we weren’t really getting anywhere. But within days of her arrival, she had most of that place in order. We caught plenty of people and stopped a £3 billion worth shipment of coke from getting into the states because of her.”

“She gets that from me.” your mother said, but Javi just…smiled. 

“Maybe. But I highly doubt it.” your mother’s face dropped and your father was about to argue back, but Javi cut him short. “Who she is…that can’t be taught. That’s learned, from first hand experience. Sure, she’s not married, but she is respected. But a shit ton of people. Hell, if she tells the Ambassador not to do something, they listen to her. Because she’s good at her job. Just because she’s not you, does not give you the right to see her as nothing more than a problem to be solved or an embarrassment. She’s not lucky to have you two as parents, but you are lucky to have her. To be able to call her and talk to her and know her. Don’t take her for granted because sooner or later, you won’t even have the privilege of calling her your daughter.”

“Are you threatening us, son?”

“No.” Javi shook his head, standing. “I’m saying if I was her, I would have dropped you years ago. Instead, you get to call her your daughter. But I doubt even now that you have that opportunity. Like she said, there’s more to life than getting married. And she’s living proof of that. Don’t ignore her like I expect you have been doing her whole life, just because she’s not the living poster girl of your planned out life.”

With that, Javi laid his own share of the bill on the table before walking outside, lighting a cigarette and walking to his car. He doubted you would have gone home in case your mother came looking for you to yell at you some more. And he was right in his thinking because, as he did a tour of the Embassy parking lot, he found your car parked alone. He parked a couple spots down from you before squashing the smoke under his shoe and walking inside. From there, he found you sat at your desk no longer dressed in the dinner dress but rather a pair of black trousers and a black shirt. So, you’d been at the gun range. He could see the oiled cuticles of your fingers as you reached for your disposable coffee cup. The hair that had rested in soft curls was now thrown up into a messy ponytail that held itself up under the command of your bobble. 

What he guessed was that through stress, some of the hairs had fallen from your head and haphazardly framed your face under the orange light of your desk lamp. 

On your desk, he could see the soft trail of smoke from a cigarette. You weren’t a smoker. Hell, you’d pulled enough cigarettes, both lit and unlit, from his own lips before to stop him from smoking. So, when you didn’t do it that morning as he stood beside you on the steps of the Embassy, that should have been his first warning about how bad the day would go. 

Though he couldn’t blame you. If he were you, he probably would have gone through 2 packs of cigarettes by now. 

He watched you as you took a long drag from the cigarette, letting the smoke fill your lungs until they were over spilling. Even then, you took in some more air as you moved it away from your lips, letting it rest lazily between your two fingers as you rested the rest of your head against your hand. 

Slowly, you let the smoke release itself from your lungs before you took another deep breath of fresh air this time, and opened your eyes. 

“Don’t judge me.” you told Javi when you spotted him standing at the steps of the office. But, he just smiled and walked closer, going first to his desk, before bringing his bottle of whiskey and two glasses with him to your desk. 

“Oh, no judgement here.” Javi told you before sitting down across from you and pouring a decent amount of liquor into each glass. 

Handing you one, you thanked him. “To shitty days.”

“And shitty families.” you laughed before clinking the glass together and taking a rather large gulp and letting it burn your insides as it made its way down. 

Javi sat back in silence for a few moments watching you. “How are you feeling?”

“I don’t know.” you answered honestly. “Part of me wants to scream, the other wants to cry and the rest…just is thankful it’s over.”

“Have they always been like that?”

“My whole life.” you said. “Rosie was their perfect little girl. Always listened. Did everything without question. Danced perfect ballet at her recitals. Would always sing beautifully and could quote Shakespeare off the cuff.”

Javi furrowed his brows. “I’ve heard you speak Shakespeare. English and Spanish. You put the local production to shame.”

You narrowed your eyes a little, “Not as well as Rosie.”. 

Taking another drink, you mirrored Javi by leaning back in your own chair. “God, I remember being so jealous of her as a kid. She was always the teacher’s favourite. She could never put a foot wrong. I’d make one spelling mistake in my English essay in 5th grade and they called in my parents telling them I was distracted. That I was slipping from my education. My mother grounded me for a month and gave me a lecture every day about how Rosie was this perfect child and why couldn’t I be the same? You know, I never got into trouble at school. I got good grades, I listened to all of my teachers, I even won the local baking competition.”

“You bake?”

You smiled. “I bake. I entered it without my mom’s permission and got my teacher to sign off on it. But, God, you should have seen the look on all the parent’s faces. “She only won because they feel sorry for her.”, and then the kids started saying the same thing to me at school. The only time where I wasn’t compared to my sister was in the Academy. It was the first time I felt I belonged somewhere.”

You took another deep breath, “Jesus, you don’t want to hear about this.”

But Javi shook his head. “No. Continue.”

You looked in his eyes for a moment, seeing if he was being serious. And, once you realised he was, you slowly sat back again and continued. 

“So, you joined the academy?” Javi asked, helping you pick up where you left off. 

You nodded a small thanks and continued. “I joined the Academy and,” you laughed a little, “when my mom found out, she went ballistic. God, it was like I shot her puppy. Or Rosie, godforbid. So you can imagine, when I turned up one afternoon and told her I was moving to Columbia instead of going house hunting with Danny, - who I had broken up with, by the way, six months earlier - you can imagine how she took it. Said I was just jealous and running away because my sister was getting married. That I just wanted the spotlight for myself but the biggest thing was…I didn’t. I just wanted to disappear. I didn’t want people’s eyes on me or have a spotlight on my name. Any time it was, it was always because I was a disgrace to the family name. That I wasn’t Rosie. But…on her wedding day, I realised….I realised I wasn’t jealous of her. In fact, when she came and found me and asked me if she was doing the right thing…I felt sorry for her. But that didn’t last long because at the drop of a hat, when I said she didn’t have to marry him, that she could come with me or I could get her a plane ticket to wherever she wanted, she accused me of wanting to ruin her wedding and her life. That I was jealous of her because I couldn’t find someone to love me the way her husband does her. And, that mom was right. That I would never find anyone because what person in their right mind would want to love someone like me.”

There was other stuff that you didn’t mention to Javi, about what else your sister had said and what your mother clearly agreed with. But, after the meal tonight, he could take a pretty good guess. 

“So, what did you do?”

You took a breath, forcing the tears back into your eyes. “I did what she asked for that day. I sat out of the wedding. Sat at the back. Stayed out of everyone’s way to avoid ruining her wedding. And halfway through the reception, I left. I didn’t even say goodbye. I thought about it, but I knew they wouldn’t have cared. They were in their own happy little world that didn’t need or even want me. So, I grabbed my bags, hailed a cab and got on the first flight into Columbia.”

“So, when you landed-”

“2 hours later, I was here starting work.” you confirmed. 

“Did anyone know?”

“No.” you said, sitting back up and laying your glass on your desk. “Until a couple hours ago, no-one knew what my parents were like. I’m just…I’ll be glad when they’re back in the states. They didn’t even tell me they were coming and I woke up at 4 on the dot. I didn’t know why. I never usually do and then, an hour later, she left a message on my machine saying she was getting on her second flight and that she’s already arranged to have a cab pick her up from the airport since she knows that I’d probably still be in bed - the last time I was in bed past 8 o’clock I was on a flight to Miami.”

After a while of talking with Peña as he asked you questions about your childhood, he looked at the clock that read a quarter to midnight. “Come on, we better go home.”

“Javier Peña, in bed before 2 am? Is the world truly falling apart?”

Javi smiled at you, grabbing your jacket for you. “Come on, I’ll drive us home.”

“But you’ve had a drink-”

“I’m still under the limit.” Javi assured you. “Come on, let's go.”

By the time Javi pulled up outside of your apartment block, he locked his car behind him before you both went off in separate directions to your own apartments. 

“Peña?”

He looked back from his door. 

“Thank you, for today. It meant a lot, seriously.”

Javi smiled at you before unlocking his door and opening it up. “Anything for you, hermosa. Goodnight.”

“Night,” you smiled back before entering your own home and closing the door behind you. 

[marvelwitchergilmore]

Kiss In Stitches

Summary; Javier Peña x Fe!Reader/OC (Agent Jackson) -> Turns out, Javi is scared of hospitals so you distract him in the only way you can think of at the time, but it comes back to haunt you.

Disclaimer: Doesn't really follow Narcos, techincally. Fluff, angst, not proof read. Mentions of death in hospitals etc.

You had met Agent Peña during a field opp. It had been you - working for Interpol - and Murphy until Peña finally arrived back to the DEA and you all made your way into the apartment block. 

With the drug trade growing, Interpol got more and more concerned. That was when they sent you. You were one of the best agents to graduate from your academy year. No-one had marksman ship like you. They also didn’t know as many languages as you, either. 

Both of your parents were diplomats. Your mother had the higher authority so you spent more time at home with your dad - who had taught you to speak Italian, Spanish, Russian and French. 

It had been a rocky start; Peña not being told you existed was the main thing. 

“Who’s she?”

“She has a name.” You voiced before Murphy could introduce you both. 

“Javi, meet Agent Jackson. Interpol.”

“Interpol?” Peña questioned before looking to you. “I wasn’t aware-”

“Clearly. Shall we?”

By the time you both got back to the Embassy, you and Peña had gotten onto better terms. Mostly because he’d saved your life. As one sacario shot at you and you shot back, one appeared behind you. If Peña hadn’t gotten there first, you’d probably (definitely) be dead. 

It had been a quick turn around and before you knew it, you found yourself permenatly partnered with Peña and Murphy. You became a good trio. It was also nice to learn that Steve had a wife. Connie. 

You both got on like a house on fire. And, with your sister back in Europe helping at the hospitals, you had 24hr access to medical knowledge - especially when it came to children. 

Your sister had trained, originally, as a general surgeon before she decided to retrain almost 10 years ago to be a midwife and help mothers and their children. Most of your medical knowledge came from your sister because, during the time of her exams, she didn’t have anyone else to help her revise and study. So, you became a sound board. 

It just helped that you listened. 

This was how you knew, during a raid, that Peña needed stitches. Several to be exact. 

“What?” 

He seemed a little panicked as you helped him stand and both looked down to the scar in his leg. 

“Murphy!” You yelled, and two seconds later, the blond came round the corner. 

“Yeah? Oh.”

“Medic’s are still 20 minutes out. I can get him to the hospital in 10. Mind holding down the fort, here?”

Murphy nodded. “Sure.”

“I don’t need a hospital.”

You scoffed and titled your head for a second as if to say Come on, Peña. “We both know that isn’t true.”

Grabbing him by the upper arm, you secured your gun away before dragging Peña out of the building, down the stairs and towards your car. 

“Honestly, I’m fine. I can wait for the medics-”

“Shut up.”

By the time you arrived to the hospital and basically had to drag Peña all the way inside to the point where he wouldn’t even sit down on the bed once they found him a room, so you had to place both your hands on his shoulders, walk him backwards til his legs hit the bed and sit him down. 

“They’ll fix you up in no time.”

“I didn’t-”

“If you say you didn’t need to come, I will personally shoot you myself.” You warned. 

It was over the next 10 minutes that you saw Peña’s emotions. 

You had sat down on one of the chairs and for at least 8 of those minutes, Peña had been picking his finger nails, bouncing his leg, flattening his ‘tash over and over, running a hand at the back of his neck and through his hair. 

“Penn-ya?” You sounded out, getting his attention.

This was a man who was on the hunt for Escobar. A man who you had been shoot down plenty of sacarios, risk his life every single day doing a job that he loves and yet…

He’s scared of, what? A hospital?

“Are you-”

But you didn’t get to ask, “Are you nervous?” because a moment later, the door opened up and in walked the doctor ready to complete his stitches. 

You watched as Peña tried to remain calm throughout it all. Every now and again, he’d swear under his breath. Even though they’d given him some pain-killers, he wanted back on the job. 

More so, he wanted out of the hospital. 

But as it was getting down to the final few sitiches, the pain seemed to be getting worse. 

And so was Peña. 

His nerves were sky rocketing because he didn’t want to look at his wound being sown up right before his eyes, but he also didn’t want to see around the hospital. 

So standing by his side, you got him to focus on you rather than the pain and the white-washed, bleach smelling walls. 

And that was when you did what even you least expected. 

You kissed him. 

It was…a surprise to say the least. The doctor paid no attention, finishing up Peña’s stitches whilst his body was completely still. The kiss, although lasted, still felt (oddly) too short. 

hankfully, by the time you pulled away, the doctor had finished and was writing Peña a perscription for some pain killers. 

“These should disolve, but if there are any signs of infection, come straight back.”

Peña, after a moment (having to tear his eyes from yours), nodded and stood up. 

“It will be sore for a few days, so I say rest. I understand your job isn’t exactly the most ideal, but try where you can.”

“Thanks, Doc.”

Peña signed himself out and it was awkward silence all the way to the car. But he broke it. 

“Thanks, by the way. For the…kiss. I was nervous, that was why you did it, right?” God, he’d never been this awkward around a woman. It was like he was going bright red from just the word kiss. What was he? A teenager? 

“It was the only way I could think about taking your mind off it.” You answered as you walked around to the driver’s seat. “Why…why do you not like hospitals? You attend med school and, what? Faint in the reception?”

In all honesty, you did want to know. But now it was also to deflect from the kiss.

Peña gave a small laugh as he lifted himself into the car and shut the door. “I don’t know…I’ve just never…They’re never a good place. They help people, but anyone I’ve met who’s gone in…9 times out of 10, they didn’t come back out.”

“So? What? You’ve never been in one since?”

Peña smirked. “Welll, if i got kissed every time I went, I’d be sure to turn up more often.”

Your smile back turned into a laugh that both of you shared. So, good, you both thought it was something to laugh about.

But…one question remained. 

Why didn’t it feel like that? And why did you (both) want to to happen again?

Okay, maybe two questions. 

The weeks that followed, everything seemed to go back to normal. Or, at least, what you both thought was normal. 

But, no. 

Murphy knew different. Everyone did. 

When asked by Connie, Steve couldn’t exactly pin-point it. It was just…something. Like, the way you’d look at Peña when he wasn’t looking, or the way he’d look at you when you weren’t. Or it was in the way, when left alone in a room together, Murphy could walk back in and he could cut through the tention. 

But it wasn’t hatred. 

Neither of you yelled at the other. Neither of you looked like you were ready to shoot the other given the chance. 

It was just, plain awkwardness. 

“Maybe the like each other?” Connie suggested. “I mean, if I didn’t know them, part of me would think maybe.”

“But…it’s Peña and Jackson. They work well together, but…romantically. I- I just can’t see it, Connie.”

“Well, have you thought about asking one of them. Maybe they might tell you. Ask Peña. If anyone is going to cough it up, it’ll be him.”

Connie was right. 

Peña was a good cop and, every now and then, he could get away with a lie. But you were something else entirally. 

In all honesty, no-one really knew much about you other than the information you had given up - even then it wasn’t out right. They’d have to pay close attention. 

Or read what they could of your file. 

They knew nothing of your childhood other than you moved around a lot, you had one sister (but you could have more siblings for all they knew), you trained in the academy when you were 20 having early admission since you graduated University early. But that was about it. 

They knew nothing other than what could be infered from a file. 

And they’d asked a couple of questions over the last few months - like your coffee order. But you wouldn’t even tell them that. You’d just stand and go and get the coffee’s yourself and since it was in a to-go cup - like the rest of their’s - they didn’t know what you drank. Creame? Sugar?...salt? Who knows. 

You also would disappear at least twice a week at lunch. At one point, they had decided to follow you but they’d lost you after twenty seconds. You were quick and light on your feet. 

This was why you were the best in your class. 

They had offered you the opportunity to work for the Secret Service at one point but you had turned the job down. Plus, with Interpol, you got to travel. 

Even if they weren’t the happiest of ‘holiday’s’. 

But all of this changed when Murphy out right asked Peña one day, what was going on between him and yourself. 

Of course, he denied everything. Nothing was wrong. Everything was normal. 

So, Steve brought in Connie. 

Within ten minutes, Connie had it out of Peña about what happened. 

“So, she kissed you…then what?”

“We left the hospital and…that was it.”

“And you haven’t talk about it.” Connie could already tell. 

“I guess. We joked about it but then we went back to work.”

“And how has it been since?”

Connie leaned back in his husband’s desk chair. 

“Normal.”

“You keep saying that Javi, but you keep watching the door waiting for her to come around the corner. Have you thought about telling her how you feel?”

Javi laughed. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, have you told her that you like her.”

“I don’t like her.” Javi denied. 

It was now Connie’s turn to laugh. “Javi, please. I know a love-sick man when I see him.”

“I like her just fine, it’s just…”

“What?Javi, you can say you’re scared. Look,” Connie stood up and flattened the collar of his shirt. “Just talk to her. You might find she feels the same way. Why else would she have kissed you? She could have slapped you instead, but she didn’t. Just think about it.”

After that, he did. 

And it wouldn’t leave his head. 

He’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to do it again. Because he did. So much. But you were- are a co-worker. There had to be rules around a cop dating a cop. Especially in the DEA. 

Nevertheless, it still played on his mind. Day in, day out. If he even looked in your general direction, he was always fearful if you could hear what he was thinking. 

Yet, it wasn’t until two weeks later, in the file room, did he try and talk about it. 

You had gone in there and shut the door behind you. No-one really came in the room hours after lunch so you had the small cupboard all to yourself, until Javi entered. 

“Hey,” he looked flustered. 

Nervous. 

“Can we talk?”

“About what?” you asked, looking back to the file. But that was short lived as he walked over and placed a hand to push to file down from your face. He needed you to look at him. 

“We need to talk about it. The kiss. Why did you kiss me?”

“Jav- Peña. Look, I’m sorry it happened okay-”

“I’m not.”

“But you were shaking like a leaf and- what?”

“I’m not.” Peña repeated. “I’m not sorry it happened. I-I don’t know what else to say. I’m just…I’m not sorry it happened and I’d by lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it and-”

“Javi, please. We…we can’t do this.” It felt like the walls were closing in on you. You could smell his colounge and it was intoxicating. 

“Please, hermosa.” The nickname rolled off his tough effortlessly. Like the name had always belonged to you. “Why did you…do you want it to happen again?”

His voice is soft and you can hear youself screaming, yes! but…something stops you. 

Nerves. 

“I…I can’t.”

With that, you left. All you wanted to do was run out of the building but the moment you left, Murphy slammed down his phone. 

“Where’s Peña?” 

Then he appeared by your side. “Grab your vests.”

A building of sacarios. Three of which were Escobar’s right-hand men. His most trusted. 

Get one…get them all. 

The sky above was growing darker by the hour and, although the temperature had dropped, it was still warm outside. 

And Peña had been watching your every move. 

He knew you…to an extent. He knew you well enough to know that you would say “no,” if you didn’t want it to happen. He knew, or maybe he hoped, there was still a part of you, no matter how small, wanted exactly what he wanted. 

For it to happen again. 

“Jackson!”

He approached the back of your car as you strapped on your vest. You tried to run, but you didn’t get very far. 

“Please, can we just talk-”

“No, Javi. I…I can’t do this right now.”

Peña stopped in his tracks, watching you walk down the hill. In truth, you were maybe 6ft in front of him. 

“Why did you kiss me?”

You slowed to a stop. 

“You could have slapped me, punched me, shot me in the leg for all I cared. But you kissed me. Why?”

He slowly walked closer to you and before you knew it, you had turned to face him. 

“Why, hermosa? Why?”

“I don’t know, okay! I don’t know. It was the only thing I could think of at the time.”

“And about what I asked you before?”

“I can’t…Javi. I…”

“Who says?”

It took you a moment. “I do. I…I can’t do this with you, Javi.”

“Why?”

He probably sounded desperate, and he was. He needed to know why before he walked away. 

“I just…”

When you didn’t say anything else, Javi held your head in his hand, cupping your cheeks before pulling you closer. The grip was lose enough for you to push him away if you wanted to but when you began to kiss back and pulled yourself closer, his grip became more secure. 

When he went to break the kiss, a small noise escaped your lips to which he chuckled and kissed you again. 

It was…intoxicating. Addictive. 

“Tell me you feel the same.”

“And that didn’t prove it?” You breathed. 

Javi chuckled, holding your head against his. His hand lay at the back of your neck, holding you in place. “I need words, hermosa.”

You smiled. “I feel the same.”

[marvelwitchergilmore]

Durazno

Summary: Javier Pena x Fe!OC/Reader (Last Name: Becker) -> When you get a call at work, you try your best to hide your emotions but in the end, Javier is there for you.

Warning: Doesn't exactly follow the plot of Narcos, swearing, narcos-level violence mentioned, fluff, angst, Durazno is Peach in Spanish (according to Google Translate)

Every day was a new case, or, at least, that was what it felt like. 

Someone would call with a tip on someone and someone would go and investigate it - see if it was worth while and what they would want in exchange. Usually, it was cash. Sometimes it would be a visa and on the rare occasion, it would be nothing. They’d either just want to be kept secret or have the cops do their job and promise they’ll put whoever behind bars when the time came. 

But the call you received today was not one of those calls. 

Peña was out on a break whilst Murphy was sat at his desk, smoking, waiting for Peña to get back with their food. 

Your desk was just across from where Peña and Murphy’s was. Only, while they sat face to face, you sat on your own with clear view of Peña. 

You had just come back from the copy room, dropping off the extra case paperwork by the boys’ desk, when your phone rang. 

At first you looked around confused until you realised it was your phone and with stratigic moves, your crossed the room wordlessly before picking it up. 

“Becker,” you answered.

Murphy watched you for a second before looking back to his files. In all honesty, he did try and listen to what was being said but you spoke so quietly that it would take a genius at lip reading to know what you said. 

Something you had learnt quickly after joining the DEA was that nothing was secret. Nobody could afford it to be. So, you had learnt to speak quietly, quickly and clearly enough to know no one in the office could hear you and it swiftly became a private conversation between just you and the caller. 

But it wasn’t until Peña came in that Murphy looked up. His partner tossed him his sandwich before making his way to his desk, only, once he reached the bottom of the stairs, Peña stalled in his tracks. 

The conversation came to a quick end and you slammed the receiver down harsher than you had meant. 

Within seconds you had opened your desk draw, placed your firearm by your side and strides towards your jacket that hung on the hook. 

“Where are you going?” Peña asked. 

You didn’t even look in his direction of Murphy’s. Your eyes were fixed on the doors ahead. 

Part of you knew if you even thought about looking at Peña, he’d know more than what you wished even yourself to know. 

“Out.”

Within seconds, you were out of the door and slipping into your car before tearing down the road.

Peña and Murphy had been having a slow day, mostly filled with typing and filing paperwork. You had been gone for hours, more than you had ever been gone and Peña hated that it worried him. 

Those worries were not eased, either, when two high ranking military officers walked into the office looking for you. 

Both Peña and Murphy had tried their best to find out the reason why they were looking for you - they could only both hope you hadn’t done something reckless or stupid. But no one was saying anything. Not even anyone in the office knew. And sometimes it felt like they knew anything and everything. 

Peña had tried calling you but there had been no answer. He even called round your usual places looking for you - your apartment, the market stalls, the small cafe that him and yourself had found a while back when trying to avoid the hot sun of Columbia. 

But you were nowhere to be found. 

Until, nearly 12 hours after leaving, you turned up.

Your jacket was now draped over your arm, the baby hairs by your neck had curled due to the sweat from the heat outside.

Both Peña and Murphy had been glad they’d been stuck inside. There was less chance of dying from heat stroke. Even if they were bored out of their minds. 

You had pulled your hair back into a messy ponytail but it didn’t stop the shorter hairs from framing your face. 

You removed the sunglasses as you came down the step, watching as the two officers stood. 

“Agent Becker?”

“That’s me.”

“We need to talk.”

You shared a look with the two men - maybe they already knew that you knew. After all, this was mandatory, coming to tell the family, wasn’t it?

You showed no other emotion on your face before you directed the two men into an empty office where they sat and you opted to stand. If you turned around, you’d face them and anyone would could see in through the windows. So, you kept your back to the two men and the window, whilst looking out the window in front of you and onto the streets below. 

It was like you could feel Peña’s eyes on you the whole time. You didn’t even have to look back. 

The only reason why you didn’t shut the shutters fully was because one; they were broken anyway, and two; it would only raise more suspicion. You didn’t need the office gossiping about your life. You were already one of the only females in the office who was an actual agent. You didn’t want more judgement or gossip.

You listened to the officers words as they told you the news you had already found out. 

Of course, no official higher than a CSI or Coroner would know that you already knew. The call had come from a friend who wasn’t too far from the place. They thought it was better you found out of your own, rather than through some military official. 

By the time they finished speaking, you turned back to them and thanked them for coming to you, to which they nodded with solem looks before replacing their hats and making their way out of the office. 

They bid good evening to Peña and Murphy who only looked back to where you stood in the office, your attention fixed on the people outside. 

You and Peña, from first meeting, had a connection. It was what made you great partners when working. You knew what the other was think or doing before it was said aloud. 

Which was why you knew he was stood by the office door before he even opened his mouth. 

“I’m good, Peña. Everything’s good.”

“Are you sure?” 

You turned around once you knew that any tears that wished to make their way out were fully gone. 

“I’m sure.”

Quickly, you made your way out of the door causing Peña to move back, but as you grabbed your jacket, Peña was by your side again. 

“Becker-“ You moved away quickly. 

“Tell Messina I’ll be back in tomorrow.”

Standing with his hands on his hips and a worried expression on his face, he called out to you again, but this time, with one foot on the step, you turned around. 

“Durazno,” Peña hadn’t meant to say it too loud. After all, the story behind it was one just between the two of you. Maybe if others paid attention, they’d realise why, but it was something only he called you. 

He didn’t have to say anything else. Just the look on his face was enough. 

“Honestly, Javi.” You said in a slightly softer tone than before. “I’m good. Everything’s fine.”

All he could do is watch you walk away. By the time he returned to his desk, Steve’s eyes hadn’t left him once. 

He’d heard Peña call you by that name a few times over the last year or so. Often it was only said late at night when no one was really in the office, or when Peña wanted information that you wouldn’t share with him - even when you wanted to. But whenever he said it, it was always affectionate. 

“Do you think she’ll tell us?”

Peña pulled his chair in and folded his hands, scratching his brow, “I don’t know.”

You could be stubborn at times, Peña knew that. Whenever it came to something personal that you shouldn’t be dealing with alone, you were even more so. Peña knew that, too. 

But it wouldn’t be too long until he found out the truth. 

It took around a week before the papers would publish the names of those who had died in a shoot out. 

There was always plenty of crime in Columbia so when Murphy was flicking through the paper, he didn’t take much heed to the crimes that had happened or else he’d never be calm. 

After 20 minutes of reading, he threw the paper down. 

“Fucking assholes. Three military boys dead in a stone cold shoot out about 2 hours out. Fuck.”

Pena, holding his cigarette between his lips, picked up the paper and fanned it out.

“Page 5.” Steve told him. 

Flicking through, Peña eventually found it and when he did, it felt like the world finally levelled out. 

Steve looked over after a few minutes of silence. Peña’s eyes were fixed on one name in particular. 

“What? What is it?” Murphy asked. 

That was when Peña looked up since you had hopped down the steps of the office and towards your desk. 

You were busy with work so hadn’t spotted Peña’s eyes fixed on you as you moved about. 

“Nothing.” Peña answered, tossing the paper back down. “Nothing.”

Thankfully, Peña’s phone rang with a tip on someone. 

You still hadn’t mentioned anything. Maybe you would now that the article was out. But in all honesty, you were praying that Peña didn’t see the article. He was the only one who knew to link your name to one of the officers in the article. 

And your chances were good since it wasn’t often he bought a paper. 

But when you saw the paper on Murphy’s desk, you could only pray he hadn’t see in - or had forgotten. 

But this was Peña. 

When it came to you, he forgot nothing. 

You thought you had gotten away with it, for a while at least. 

When it came to personal things, you didn’t like talking about them much. You believed you’d be better at your job if you just ignored the feelings. Yeah, maybe feel sad once in a while, or angry. But you didn’t have that luxury of knowing that your anger would be accepted…by anyone. 

You lose track of a CI, having no idea if they’re dead or not? Keep your emotions buried.  You lose a partner on the job even though you had told your boss it wasn’t safe to split up? You bottle up any anger you have and take it out on the gun range. 

By the time night fell, you found yourself swamped in work. It was only when Messina came out from her office and told you to go home that you realised how late it was. 

“You are allowed to grieve, Becker.” She told you. “We all know what it’s like to lose someone. Nobody would judge you for taking a few days.”

Your voice was quiet when you spoke. You’d barely said anything all day, it was like you had only just woke up when you talked aloud. 

“Thank you, Boss. But…” 

You didn’t quite know what to say. Any family you had talked to was angry. Angry that he had died. Angry that he had joined the military in the first place. Angry that you hadn’t looked after him better. 

Messina nodded. “Talk to Peña.” 

Messina knew you two were close. Sometimes it felt like the two of you were more attached by the hip than Murphy and Peña were. 

“I-,” you paused and looked down to your papers for a moment. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“Talk to Peña.” She repeated. “You should at least tell someone about him. Have a drink, share a couple of memories. Grieve.”

You could do nothing but nod. 

“Go home, Becker. Get some rest.”

“Yes, Boss.”

“Goodnight.”

“Night.”

It took a little longer than 10 minutes but eventually you made your way outside and to your car. 

His funeral would be back in the states in a couple of days. Maybe you’d grieve then. 

Your drive home was silent. Usually, you’d play some kind of music to bide your time. But not tonight. Tonight the drive was completely silent. There was no noise apart from the rumbling of your car engine. 

But the moment you pulled up outside your apartment block, you took a few minutes. 

You couldn’t get out just yet. You needed to breath. 

Slowly, you rested your head on your steering wheel and it’s listened to the noise outside. Someone was having a party a couple blocks away. You wondered what they were celebrating. Life? A wedding? An engagement? Promotion? Just because?

Soon, you found your body switching to auto pilot. 

You climbed out of your car, shutting the door behind you. You reached into the back and grabbed your bag before shutting the door again and locking your car. 

That was when you looked up to the steps of your building. 

Peña slowly stood when he knew you’d spotted him. 

How long had he been there? 

“A short while.”

So you had said the question aloud. 

You walked around your car and towards the steps and door of your apartment. 

“How precise.” You mocked. 

“Well, I am known for my transparency.”

That made you smile a little as you slipped your key into the lock. 

Peña followed you inside, you locking the door behind him. 

“What are you doing here, Peña?”

“I got worried.” 

“Like I told you last week, everything is good.” You breezed past him and into your sitting room/kitchen, dropping your bag by the sofa. 

“I know about the shootings.”

Well, there went your chance of hope that he didn’t know. 

“I’m fine, Javi.”

“But you’re not.”

“How would you know what I’m feeling? You’re not me.”

“You’re right,” Javier said, defeatedly. “But I know you, maybe better than you think. Durazno, por favor.”

You couldn’t look at him. Not yet, anyway. You just rested your hands on your kitchen counter where the bottle of fresh orange juice you’d just grabbed from your fridge was dripping condensation. 

“I can’t, Javi. Not right now.”

“Okay.” He agreed. 

Removing his hands from his hips, he paced on the spot for a moment. Part of him wanted to hug you. The other wanted to leave you alone knowing you’d come and find him when you were ready to talk. 

“Do you want— do you want me to-“

Neither of you really knew what the end of the sentence was going to be. Stay? Hold you? Leave? Make food? He knew you’d probably not eaten in a while since you’d been swimming in paper work all day.

“I’ll be okay, Javi.” You looked at him over your shoulder now. He could see where the tears in your eyes wanted to show but you were still fighting them off. “I promise.”

Javi looked at you and his heart broke. 

For as long as he’d known you, you’d been tough. Tougher than any agent he’d ever known. Even in cases where he could no longer look, you went in for him. You dealt with the tough cases, you kept your emotions at bay as best you could. 

He’d known you so long, he knew by the amount of holes in your targets how much you were really feeling. 

But no one else did. 

Peña was always there for you, even during the times you didn’t want him to be. 

He knew you. 

And you knew him.

That was how you knew from just the look in his eyes and the slight shift in his body language when he was looking at you that his heart was breaking, and watching yours break, broke his all the more. 

You managed to pull yourself together for a few minutes, turning around and folding your arms across your body with a small, forced smile. 

“Go home, Javi. It’s late.”

“Alright.” Javi moved after a couple of seconds, rubbing his mustashe and looking around him. “I’ll be seeing you.”

“Bye.” You’re voice came out faint as you watched him walk away. 

The next few days were filled with longing and worried looks from Peña. He was watching your every move. 

And in all honesty, was so Messina. 

That was why she pulled Javier into her office when you had taken your lunch break. 

“I need you to go with her back to the states.”

“Boss?”

Claudia intertwined her fingers and layer them on the desk. 

“You and Becker are attached by the hip and since I’m the only one who can see the worry in your eyes every time you look in her general direction, I take it you know.”

Peña nodded. 

“We both know that people grieve in their own ways but we also know Becker is one of the best agents on this team. I need to know that she’ll be fit to come back to work here with at least a little emotion attached.”

“What about my cases?”

“Murphy has agreed to take them on.” she stated. “I’m risking letting two agents leave to ensure both come back, not just one. Do you understand, Agent Peña?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Good.”

Peña caught the next flight out from yours, but you wouldn’t know this until a few days later when he, like both an angel and devil, appeared by your side at the funeral.

Everyone else had began walking back to your childhood home where they would have the final drinks that would probably disappear into the late night as they remembered him. 

But you had stayed. 

Your dress covered your knees and the heels your aunt had chosen were beginning to hurt your feet. God, why did shoes have to hurt so much? Weren’t they made to protect your feet? Not kill them slowly in blinding pain?

But you didn’t have much time to think because you heard someone steadily approaching from behind. At first, you thought it was the minister. Isn’t this the part where he tells you some shit about life and it’s wonders and how death just continues that? Life and death, no matter what, it’s just one big journey? 

God, you hoped not. 

And your prayers were answered because the person who stood beside you was not a minister but it was someone who you trusted with your life completely. 

But he wasn’t meant to be here. 

“Javier.” You’re voice came out shocked and you began to look around you. “Is-“

“Relax,” he told you. “It’s just me. Thought you might like a friendly face.”

Once you recovered from the initial shock that he was in the states, stood beside you and not sat across from Murphy in Columbia where you thought he was, you gave a soft nod and smile before turning back to the dirt covered hole in the ground. 

“For what it’s worth,” you said after a long time of silence, “I’m kinda glad you’re here.”

“I’m glad I’m here, too.”

That was when he took your hand in his. He watched your hand intertwined with his for a moment but when he looked up, your gaze was fixed straight ahead. 

“When we were kids…we’d play by the park, just down the street.”

Javi knew which one she meant. He’d passed it on the walk down to the church. 

“A couple years ago, we came back here for my cousin’s wedding. It had gotten too loud for my liking so, I took a walk and about 30 minutes later, there he was, walking up the park path with two beer bottles in his hands. We just…we stayed out there until dad came looking for us. Mom was driving him so mad,” you laughed a little as you pictured it in your head. “Just…everything about the night reminded me of when we were teenagers and just…he was there for me, you know.” You couldn’t stop the small tears that began to fall. “I should have been there for him.”

“Hey, no. Don’t think like that.” Javier squires your hand and pulled you closer until you were facing him. With his other hand, he wiped away the escaped tears from your face.

“I don’t know what I’m meant to do. He was my brother, Javi. He was the only one who-” you said trying your hardest not to cry. 

“You grieve,” Javier told you. Swiftly, he pulled you in for a hug, his hand resting in your hair at the back of your head. “You grieve him.” Peña repeated. “And you remember him.”

After that, you gripped onto him a little tighter. 

Neither of you cared how long you stood there. You grieved for your brother and all the memories you shared. And Peña would have stood all day and night if he had to. 

You deserved to grieve. You deserved to cry. You deserved to be able to remember your brother without any judgment from anyone. 

Eventually, you pulled away from Javier and he wiped the last few tears away. You both gathered there would be more later, but in that moment you were exhausted. 

“Come on,” Peña’s voice was soft and calm. Slowly, he peeled himself from you for a moment to remove his blazer before putting it over your shoulders, securing his arm in the same place as you both began to make your way back to your childhood home. 

Everyone was either falling asleep on the sofa watching old reruns or they were outside, talking and laughing through the tears of old memories. 

“Come on,” Peña spoke softly again. 

On the way down to the house, he’d gotten you talking about family and about other things to help distract you. 

Taking your hand, he led you upstairs. Your other hand remained attached to the bottom of his shirt as he climbed the stairs.

“Which way?” 

You pointed down the hall and he continued into the bedroom, peeling back the covers and finding you some pajamas that you had packed. 

“Can you stay with me?” You asked as he places the clothes on your lap. 

He was crouched down now, his hands still on the clothing. Your body was on auto pilot once again. Your fingers tracing his, tears in your eyes once more. “Please.”

After a moment, Javier nodded. 

10 minutes later, he climbed into bed with you and lay by your side. 

You didn’t quite know why, but he calmed you. Everything about him calmed you. Even in the most stressful situations at work, he calmed you. 

His hand was tracing your hair absentmindedly, and once he knew you had fallen asleep, he placed a soft kiss to your head.

A few hours passed and neither you or Peña had moved from the position you’d both fallen asleep in. 

It had been your dad, Frank, to open the door. He’d been woken by his wife, telling him to go to be before he got a bad back again for falling asleep on the recliner. He’d asked for you and she told him that she hadn’t see you in hours. Last she knew, some guy was approaching you as the service was wrapping up. 

He was careful when opening the door and when he saw you covered and wrapped securely in the arms of the stranger, he then realised who the stranger was. 

He’d heard the stories of a certain Co-worker. The same man you’d met years ago on a work trip.

In most recent months, he’d come to know one Javier Peña even if Peña didn’t have a clue who Frank was. Although, Frank could guess since he seemed to know about his son and your brother, he had a pretty good idea that Peña knew who the main people in the family were.

Softly, he shut the door behind him. 

Tomorrow could wait for questions. Tonight, everyone needed rest. 

When tomorrow finally came, you woke before Javi which was something. Sometimes it felt like he was up at the crack of dawn to beat the roosters. 

But not this morning. 

Carefully, you removed yourself from his grip, slipped out of bed, and headed into the en-suit bathroom. You didn’t fully close the door knowing the sound of a lock would wake Peña in an instant. 

For a few moments, you stared at your reflection in the mirror. 

Your eyes were less puffy, but sleep still remained in the corners. Your hair floated around your face and with the t-shirt you wore, your skin seemed like it was fading. 

So, running the tap, you quickly splashed your face with water before turning the tap off and drying your skin. 

By the time you finished, you just stood there for a few moments. It felt like everything was on a slant whilst also being grounded. 

You’d lost people before, like this. But it…it never felt this way. 

The moment you heard Isabella’s voice on the other end of the phone and what she was saying, it felt like your world was spinning g and you was doing everything you could just to keep it still and let you move. 

Your eyes had been fixed on the office door and by the time you arrived, there were soldiers everywhere and CSI cleaning up the bodies. 

People were yelling and taking statements about what had happened. Meanwhile, you could see the outline of three bodies in body bags on top of gurneys. And your eyes focused in on one. 

In all honesty, the looked the same. But, for some reason, you focused on the second one. You just knew. 

You quickly flashed your badge to get past the guards and flashed it to the CSI that was taking pictures. 

If Javi or anyone else had been there, they probably would have told you not to look. You didn’t need to see your brother in that state. 

But you needed to know. 

The words came out of you quietly as you signaled to the bag. The Coroner opened it up and…you didn’t know where to put yourself. 

There he was, three bullet hole in his chest. 

“Do they know if it was a targeted attack?” You asked before repeating it in Spanish. 

The consensus was no. In fact, your brother has been trying to save a baby from getting caught in the cross fire. Some kind of family feud in the middle of the street and a baby in its carrier had been pushed into the road. 

Your brother had died to save a child. 

He would forever be known as a hero. 

Always.

You found yourself slipping from the memory as you felt a hand touch the top of your arm. That was when you saw Javi. 

“Hey, you-“

You nodded quickly. “I’m okay.” 

“Hey, wait.”

“What?” You quickly turned back, Javi taking your hand in his. 

You both stood close to one another, your eyes searching his wondering what he wanted to say whilst his just stayed fixed on you. There was still that look of longing in his eyes.

He wanted to ask you a million questions and in his head, he was. But out loud, he spoke softly and said one thing with a smile. 

“Good morning,”

You couldn’t help but smile back. “Good morning.”

Sentences were spoken wordlessly between you until finally you could hear clattering downstairs from your mom being up and making breakfast. 

“We’d better-“

“Yep.”

Neither of you got dressed too much. Peña had changed into a pair of jeans and a flannel whilst you remained in your pjs top, just shoving on a pair of shorts in place of your joggers. 

“Have you seen-“

You didn’t have to finish your sentence as Peña was already passing you a bobble as you scooped your hair up. 

“Thanks.”

By the time you both made it downstairs, you took the pans from your mother. She wasn’t in any state to be doing anything, never mind cooking breakfast. 

“No, I have to- I have to do this.”

You stood your ground. “Mom. Go and sit down. Dad’s in the living room. Go.”

Eventually, your mom gave in. 

Usually, you were both as stubborn as one another and it would have been your brother who would have become the mediator between you both. A single word from him and your mom would melt. She’d go and sit down and be singing his praises. 

In the kitchen, Javi helped you cook breakfast for your family. 

One day, it would get easier. It would be something you’d always hold in your heart but not so much in your head. 

But having Peña by your side, it was less tense. Less like a weight on your shoulders that you couldn’t show anyone because your knew it was safe. You knew it was safe to fall if you couldn’t take it anymore because Peña would be there to catch you.

[marvelwitchergilmore]

Secure

Summary; Javier Peña x Fe!Reader -> You meet Peña at a coffee shop but after time passes, he finds out your secret.

Disclaimer: fluff, angst, mentions of guns, mentions of death, illusions to smut, swearing (I think, I haven't proof read this - probably spelling mistakes), spanish is in italics.

You had met Javi one late night in the coffee shop. You were getting the place cleaned up for the morning. Isabella, a regular customer, was sat in the corner with her nose burried deep in her research. The old man who’d you come to know as Pops - a name he told everyone to call him by - was finishing his book closer to the counter. It had been a promise he made to his wife. To read a little, at least, while she was gone. That way they’d have something else to talk about when they met again. Jośe, the young boy who’d run through the door every couple of hours in need of a coffee for his mama and a small cookie for himself, had just left, rushing out of the door going ten miles an hour. 

“Good book, pops?” You asked and he looked up and smiled. 

“Excellent.”

“Good.” You smiled. 

Just as you placed the empty cups from different tables by the counter, the bell above the door rang out. “You open?”

You looked over your shoulder. “Yeah. For a couple minutes.”

“Great.”

He rushed over, you moving the dirty cups from the counter. 

“What can I get for you?” You asked in English. 

“Coffee. Decaf.”

“Coming up.”

Then it hit him. “How’d you know I was American?”

“What?” You looked to him as you changed the filter. “Oh, uh, just a guess.”

He nodded and looked around, suddenly being met with Pops. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Sweet.”

You smiled and waved to Pops. “Have a good night.”

“Night.”

“Nice Spanish.”

You smiled. “Thanks. I’ve lived here long enough, I should know.”

“I’m Javier, by the way.”

You smiled back and gave him your name which he repeated. It sounded nice. 

“So, how long have you lived in Columbia?”

“A couple years. Yourself?”

“Same.” 

The conversation ended soon enough when his coffee was paid for - he had something important to get back to. 

But the next night, you were closing up again and he came in. In fact, for the following weeks, he came in around the same time every night; just before closing. 

He started conversations with Pops who would tell Javier the meaning behind all his books. He actually started taking a couple of night classes at the local college. His wife always told him he needed to socialise more. 

She was a people person. 

And Javier would sit there and listen. Pops, clearly, was a man who demanded respect with a single look. Something, over the weeks, you realised Peña had, too. 

During the week, you had heard rumours about Javier. About his job. 

But it was never something you asked him about. You knew more than to ask an American in Columbia if he was working for the government. 

But still, he’d come in every day and order a cup of coffee and smoke his cigarette. You’d both talk and eventually, it got to the point where he’d walk you home. 

It wasn’t far; maybe a couple of blocks. 

You’d tell him why you came to Columbia - your sister. She travelled after college and invited you to join her. But something made you stay. 

He ask where you learnt Spanish. You’d tell him school, mostly, but the practice came in while you worked in the coffee shop. 

Some days, he’d come in during the day and just talk to you. He’d order a coffee here and there but it mostly remained untouched which wasn’t like him. 

Steve had asked questions at work about who Javi was going seeing every day - at first he expected it was to see one of his ‘informants’ but after he began to smell less perfume and more coffee around Peña, it raises his suspicions. 

Peña would give a vague answer but when Steve told Connie, she knew instantly. 

It wasn’t that a woman’s intuition was lost of Peña, it was just something about Connie that scared him. She seemed to know what he was thinking about whenever she looked at him. 

Little did he know, she’d seen him a couple times walk into the same coffee shop and leave with a smile on his face. One Connie nor Steve ever saw on the man’s face. 

But surpringly, it took him a while to ask you on a date. 

Javier wasn’t one for dating. After all, his job didn’t exactly allow it - especially in Columbia - but Connie (and Pops) thought he would have at least done it sooner. After all, the man came in every day for weeks just to simply spend time with you. He’d walk you home and always made sure you were safe. And god help any man that approached the counter and started flirting with you. 

It was like Javier had a radar for those who were flirting with you because each time, not two seconds later, Javier would stroll into the shop and make his way to the counter. Most times, it was like you had a radar for him, too. His coffee would be ready for him to pick up and if the guy wasn’t scared away by the look Peña gave them, he’d order a couple more cups for Steve and Connie (she’d usually come by in the afternoons to check in on him when she had the day off). He’d stay until the guy left and most people who looked away from their books noticed. 

And maybe, in truth, you had noticed a little, too. Most guys tended to scarper when Javi walked in. A few of them would even apologise to him and you for thinking differently. 

Eventually, when he asked you on a date, you said yes. 

He was so nervous. Imagine; Javier Peña, nervous around a woman. Even the heavens wouldn’t believe it. 

But he was. 

He’d asked after he dropped you off at your apartment. His palms were sweating, his mind was racing, and you were right in front of him. 

But the moment you smiled, his nerves eased. 

You smiled at him, nodded and said; “I’d love to.”

He smiled back, a little more confident, and before you opened your door, you kissed his cheek. 

“Goodnight, Javi.”

“Night, hermosa.”

As you closed your door, leaning against it, you smiled but you knew. 

You were in deep trouble. 

It didn’t take too long before you were both…intimate with one another. Four dates, in fact. It was longer than either of you had presumed but it kinda made sense. Mostly, the dates went as follows: 

You’d both ask questions which the other would answer, just simply wanting to know more. Then, you’d take turns picking the restaurant or bar. Next, you’d both head back to the coffee shop - the temp waitress had a family to get back to in the late nights - where you’d wrap your apron around your waist and serve the last couple cups of coffee to the night owls. Finally, Javi would either walk or drive you home (usually walk since he could hold your hand or wrap an arm around your waist) and finally would kiss you goodnight. 

It felt different. 

You’d gone on dates before but…they didn’t feel like this. Like…it was the first time but it was also the millionth. 

It felt…natural.

Homely.

A couple more weeks passed and you’d see Javier at least once a day. He always pop into the cafe to either kiss you good morning (when you hadn’t spent the night together - which was a rareity) or to kiss you goodnight which, you weren’t ashamed to admit would always turn into something more. 

One morning, as Javi lay back in bed, the cover draped over his lower half, he watched as you got dressed by the end of the bed. 

But that was when he noticed them. 

How he hadn’t before shocked him. It was like he studied every inch of you - and not only in the night but that morning too - and yet, how did they slip by him. 

“Hermosa?”

You smiled at the nickname before turning to look at him over you shoulder. You just wished you both had the day off. 

“The marks…”

It took you a moment to realise what he was talking about. But then it hit you. 

A memory you wished to forget. 

“They’re just from…” you contemplated telling him. 

He’d understand, right? He never confirmed it fully but you knew he worked as DEA. He’d understand carry a couple extra physical scars from a job, right? 

“They’re nothing, Javi.” 

You heard him shuffle around before you finally felt his hand on your back, tracing them before placing a soft kiss onto a couple, brushing your hair from your shoulders. 

You felt yourself melt into him, his other hand now reaching around your stomach to capture the other side of your waist. 

Slowly, you both lay back but then you remembered. 

You had a job. 

Unfortunately.

Javi groaned. He had one, too. 

You pressed a few kisses to his lips before he moved from on top of you and headed for the bathroom, him leaving you resting on your forearms with a huge blush across your cheeks. 

God, you were falling. 

Hard. 

It would be a while longer until Javier would find out the truth behind those scars; Find out the story that came with them and you. 

And it wasn’t in any way either of you thought it would happen. 

4 months later…

The sun was still burning hot over Columbia. Thankfully, however, the humidity was becoming less close and claustrophobic. 

Yourself and Javi had been going pretty strong. You had met Steve and Connie - albeit a little surprisingly. 

One of your waitresses had cut their hand whilst cutting up some of the breads for lunch later that day. Connie had been passing on the street with Olivia when one of the customers ran out asking for a nurse or doctor. 

Connie came rushing inside. 

After asking for your first aid kit and a space away from the customers, she handed you Olivia who you stood with in the kitchen as Connie cleaned out the wound and did what was necessary. 

“You’re lucky. It doesn’t need stitches. Just keep it wrapped and clean.” 

Your waitress, Elena, looked to you confused. You translated in Spanish and she nodded before thanking Connie. 

You gave Elena the rest of the day and offered Connie a cup of coffee and some food on the house. She thanked you before sitting down at one of the tables and placing Olivia on her lap. 

Yet, by the time you finished up, Javi had come strolling in and was a little shocked to find Connie sat inside. 

And, as suspected, Connie was shocked to find Javi there, too. But then it began to make sense. 

The smell off the coffee shop - it was Javi. 

It was you. 

Later that night, after Connie had insisted, you sat down and had a double date with Connie and Steve at a local place. 

Steve was glad Peña had finally found someone. As much as he himself had enjoyed the single life, there was just something about being married. About having someone to go to when things got too tough. 

And, this was something, if Steve ever said it out loud, Jacier would have to agree with. 

Sometimes it was like you were the only thing keeping him breathing. Keeping his mind awake when all it wanted to do was drown in the crime and the cases he delt with on a daily basis. 

The last six months, from the moment of meeting, it had felt like bliss. 

But sometimes it felt like Javi was waiting for the other shoe to drop. And, although you never voiced it, you did, too. 

And finally, late one night in the coffee shop, it did. 

Javi had worked later than he’d wished to have done. His paperwork had kept him back, making seven typing errors in one sentence. 

Most of the time, he wouldn’t bother. But with Messina…everything had to be up to code. 

And legible. 

But as he walked up the street, he found flashing lights outside your coffee shop, a waitress sat by the ambulance getting patched up and no sign of you. 

His heart dropped. 

“Peña?” 

One of the cops recognised him. “I wasn’t aware we’d called the DEA.”

“You…what happened?”

“Oh, uh, robbery. Or, attempted. Two shooters. One deceased.”

“And the other?”

“Hospital.”

“How?”

“The owner faught. One of them came from the back and sneaked up on her. She said she was fine and needs to go home. We’re gonna bring her in for questioning tomorrow.”

Peña nodded, trying his best to keep a clear mind. So you was okay? Why hadn’t you called him? 

As quickly as he could, he ran to his car and sped down the roads towards your apartment. But the closer he seemed to get, the more he began to panic. 

You had faught? 

It wasn’t that he was surprised but…no, he was surprised. Most people when met with two armed gun men didn’t exactly fight against them. Especially when the only other person in the shop had been knocked clean out and now had a severe concussion. 

But you had faught. You had, what? Killed one gun man and injured the other? 

This seemed more than just a robbery, to Peña. He didn’t exactly know why. Maybe it was the fact that the toll hadn’t even been touched. Maybe it was the fact that they’d knocked out one of the waitresses. Maybe it was the gun they had been using - Peña saw them as they got taken in for evidence. 

This couldn’t have just been a robbery. 

Peña didn’t bother knocking. He knew where you kept the spear key and he knew the code. 

He shouted your name as he entered, shutting the door behind him. “Honey?!” 

Javier had to double back as he passed the enterence to you living room. There you were, sat on the sofa, blood splattered across your body, hair, arms and clothes. You had a first aid kit open in front of you. Javier could see the bloody gauzes in a pile in the table. 

“I’m fine-“

He rushed in, pulling you up and hugging you. God, he thought you might have been dead. That the cop had got it wrong and he’d decided to just hear what he wanted to. 

But he didn’t.

You were here. 

You were alive. 

Are.

“Cariño,” Javi’s voice was soft as he took you in. Any anger he had right now could be saved for later. All that mattered was that you was alive. 

You pulled back from him to sit back down. You needed to clean the wound. 

One of the gun men had got you. Thankfully it wasn’t too bad and since it was night, you got away with telling the cop the stain on your uniform was from the kitchens. 

Peña pushed the first aid beside him as he sat on your coffee table, you knees interlocked with his. 

“It doesn’t hurt?” He asked you after a couple of minutes. He was shocked. Most men he’d met would be at least grunting in pain by now. 

You shook your head.

Something changed in Javi. His back became straighter, his gaze more focused. 

“Those scars. How did you get them?”

“Javi.”

“There’s something you’re not telling me.”

“They’re nothing-“

“Bullshit.”

You stared him down. He wouldn’t budge. 

“How did you fight? Those men. One is dead and the other will probably do so in hospital. What happened?”

“Nothing.”

“Y/N.”

You bursted. You tried your best to look away as Javi questioned you but when he said your name…

“I was a cop, alright!” You hadn’t meant for it to sound so loud. 

Javi just looked at you. You hadn’t told him? Was this how you got the scars?

You sighed as you looked down. Well, it was out in the open now. 

“I was a cop, back in the states. FBI.” You explained, your voice a little quieter now. “I had a partner, a couple years back. We had been working on a case for months. Turns out, all the information, all the insider stuff he’d found - it had come from him. He wanted into their circle. The people I had seen die, everyone’s families and children and friends had all died because he was the mole. He would tell the group where to find the families, he’d tell us he knew where the groups would be that night. Then he’d go back and inform them that we were on our way. It as fucked up.”

Javi waited for you to continue. 

“Look, I felt something was wrong so I tailed him one night. I put a call in and somehow…he found me one night. He caught be by the shipyard. When my agents finally turned up, I was almost dead. When I woke up in hospital, a guy came in. CIA. I had a bag packed, my life covered up and a plane ticket to wherever I wanted to go.”

“So you came to Columbia?”

“My sister stopped over for three days and I stayed. I don’t know what made me but I did. An agent found me a job at a local place since I wasn’t ready to go into the field or anywhere near it. The job stuck and then I decided to buy the place.”

“And the guys?”

“Local gang, I guess. They look into everyone’s background and they must have thought something was up with mine.”

“Did they say anything?”

“Just that I was American and that I had a dirty secret.”

“They know you were a fed?”

You shook your head. “Probably thought I was an informant or some shit.”

Javier nodded. You could see the worry in his eyes. 

“I’m fine, Javi.”

“You could have told me, you know.”

You looked at him. Maybe. Maybe you could have told him earlier. Maybe you should have told him earlier. But what would that have done? Make him worry more? Make him panic when you were left alone?

You’d been in Columbia a good few years before you met Javi. You were one of the best agents the FBI had in the field and - if you ever wanted it - there was a job waiting for you at the FBI in the states, the CIA or, probably now, the DEA. 

You were protected. By your career, by your knowledge, by your skills and by the fact that you entire past had been burried so deep, not even the Pentagon had access to it. 

Your gaze was both soft and serious. 

“I’m telling you now.”

Over the next hour, Javi went to your bathroom and grabbed a fresh face cloth before getting a bowl of warm water. Sitting back in his place on the table, he held your chin softly, Turing your face so he could wipe away the splats of dried blood. 

Once he finished, he placed the cloth down and turned back when he felt your hand grip his. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

Javi just nodded, interlocking his knees with yours once more. “I get it. I do. I just wish…”

“I know.”

You both shared a look with one another. It didn’t need to be said out loud. 

Peña leaned in, and pressed a secure kiss to your lips. 

You would be okay. 

You are alive. 

And, over time, more stories would be revealed. What happened on certain jobs, what scars came from where, what they signified…

But in this moment; it didn’t matter. 

All of that could wait until tomorrow. 

For tonight, he wanted to show you what you meant to him. He’d say the words soon enough, but right now, he just needed to show you. 

And you were okay with that. 

After all, you felt the exact same way. 

[marvelwitchergilmore]

MASTERLIST

All my Oneshots/Series are listed below:

Most (if not all) are over 1k words.

Eddissy:

Found Family

Steve Harrington:

Talking About It part 1/4 -> Steve Harrington x Henderson!OC

Talking About It part 2/4

Talking About It part 3/4

Talking About It part 4/4

Ride or Die -> Steve Harrington x OC

Dean Winchester:

A Winchester’s Daughter 1/? -> Dean Winchester x Daughter!OC (B99 crossover)

A Winchester’s Daughter 2/?

A Winchester’s Daughter 3/?

Demon In Love -> Dean Winchester x OC

Love In The Bureau 1/? -> Dean Winchester x Steve/Peggy Daughter!OC - AU!Agent Dean

Love In The Bureau 2/?

Love In The Bureau 3/?

Love In The Bureau 4/?

Love In The Bureau 5/?

Love In The Bureau 6/?

Two Hunters and A Baby -> Dean Winchester x OC

Can You Picture It? Us? -> Dean Winchester x OC 

Folding Laundry -> Dean Winchester x OC (or fe!reader)

Saying "I Love You" -> Dean Winchester x Fe!reader

Wedding Day Disaster -> Dean Winchester x Fe!OC

Childhood Crush -> Dean Winchester x Fe!OC(Zoey)

Old Friends, Old Cars and New Love -> Dean Winchester x Fe!OC (Peggy)

Fearless Hunter Saved -> Dean Winchester x Fe!Reader

Spencer Reid:

A Life of Shocks and Promises 1/? -> Spencer Reid x Austin

A Life of Shocks and Promises 2/?

New Recruit -> SR x OC

New Neighbour -> SR x OC

Best-Friends In Love -> SR x JJ (Jeid)

Cardigan -> Spencer Reid x Fe!Reader

In A While (part one) -> Spencer Reid x Fe!Reader

For A While (part two) -> Spencer Reid x Fe!Reader (+16)

Castiel Novak:

I'm Yours -> Castiel x Fe!Reader

Solider Boy:

A Soldier in Montana -> Solider Boy x Fe!OC

Beau Arlen:

Dance with me, Darlin’ -> Beau Arlen x Reader

I Can Feel You -> Beau Arlen x Fe!OC (reader if you wish)

Last Minute Customer -> Beau Arlen x Reader

Steve Rogers:

Falling In Fall -> Steve Rogers x OC (female - Noelle Harlow)

Tell Me What We Are -> Steve Rogers x OC (Female - Isla)

Peter Parker:

Christmas Movies and Kisses -> Peter Parker x Fe!OC (Alex)

I’m In Love (With My Best Friend) -> Peter Parker x Fe!Reader

The Look Of Terror -> Peter Parker x Fe!Reader

A Moment Of Everything -> Peter Parker x Fe!Reader

Bruce Wayne/Batman:

Drowning In Love -> Bale!Bruce Wayne x Fe!OC (Althea)

Javier Peña:

Durazno -> Javier Peña x Fe!OC/Reader (Last name; Becker)

Secure -> Javier Peña x Fe!Reader

Kiss In Stitches -> Javier Pena x Fe!Reader/OC (Last Name; Jackson)

Blood Washed Away -> Javier Pena x Fe!Reader

To Shitty Days and Shitty Families -> Javier Pena x Fe!Reader

Din Djarin:

Without Logic, or Reasoning -> Din Djarin x Fe!Reader

Anthony Lockwood:

Wake Me Up (And Hold On To Me) -> Lockwood x Fe!Reader

Bloody Pardon -> Lockwood x Fe!Reader

Bloody Pardon 2 -> Lockwood x Fe!Reader

Bloody Pardon 3 -> Lockwood x Fe!Reader

Bloody Pardon 4 -> Lockwood x Fe!Reader

Freak Like Them -> Lockwood x Fe!Reader (more found family with all Lockwood and Co)

Message From Iris -> Lockwood x Fe!Reader

Punch At First Sight -> Lockwood x Fe!Reader 

Joel Miller:

To You -> Joel Miller x Fe!Reader

Written In The Stars -> Joel Miller x Reader (is Fe! but no use of pro-nouns in the fic)

Quiet Crushes -> Joel Miller x Fe!Reader 

Javi Gutierrez:

Cambiando El Mundo -> Javi G x Reader

Clint Barton:

Out Of Depth (But We’ll Be Okay) -> Clint Barton x Fe!Reader (18+)

In Love -> Clint Barton x Fe!Reader (16+)

Oberyn Martell:

Dove -> Oberyn Martell x Fe!Reader

Loki Laufeyson:

Everything Little Thing (Is Magic) -> Loki x Fe!Reader

Detecting Love -> Loki x Fe!Reader

Billy The Kid:

Don’t Waste A Second -> Billy the Kid x Fe!Reader (16+)

Colter Shaw:

One Number Away -> Colter Shaw x Fe!Reader (18+)

Wedding Invitations -> Colter Shaw x Fe!Reader

Wedding Invitations (2) -> Colter Shaw x Fe!Reader

Bloodied Hands -> Colter Shaw x Fe!Reader

Off Limits -> Colter Shaw x Fe!Reader 

Aaron Hotchner:

Tough Day -> Aaron Hotchner x Fe!Reader

First Kick -> Aaron Hotchner x Fe!Reader

Together -> Aaron Hotchner x Fe!Reader

First Name Basis -> Aaron Hotchner x Fe!Reader

Logan Howlett/Wolverine:

Nobody Important -> Logan/Wolverine x Fe!Reader

Surprise Marriage -> Logan/Wolverine x Fe!Reader

In Sickness and Health -> Logan/Wolverine x Fe!Reader

Dreams, A Nightmare and A Kiss -> Logan/Wolverine x Fe!Reader

Unexpected Surprises -> Logan/Wolverine x Fe!Reader

Sleeping, Dancing and Mistletoe -> Logan/Wolverine x Fe!Reader

Busted -> Logan/Wolverine x Fe!Reader

Daisies and Haircuts -> Logan/Wolverine x Fe!Reader

A Good Man -> Logan/Wolverine x Fe!Reader (18+)

Simple Gestures -> Logan/Wolverine x Fe!Reader

Slow Dancing and Slow Mornings -> Logan/Wolverine x Fe!Reader

Let Me Prove It -> Logan/Wolverine x Fe!Reader

Something’s Changed -> Logan/Wolverine x Fe!Reader

Tyler Owens:

Tornado Shelter -> Tyler Owens x Fe!Reader

New Routine Comfort -> Tyler Owens x Fe!Reader

Sweetheart -> Tyler Owens x Fe!Reader

Longing Looks to Something More -> Tyler Owens x Fe!Reader