#jason sudeikis im outside your house
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
taking a break from the 3.06 euphoria to be fucking devastated about jamie tartt?? not remembering losing his virginity because it was such a traumatizing experience??? People keep saying they want jamieâs dad to show up again so we can get some closure on that front but honestly I hope he never comes back and I hope itâs because sometime between seasons 2 and 3 james tartt sr. was taken out back and shot
#if there arenât 200 fics about this on ao3 by Saturday I might have to take matters into my own fucking hands#ted lasso#ted lasso spoilers#like actually though how much of Jamieâs childhood does he not even remember bc itâs just trauma after trauma#jason sudeikis im outside your house#posts by sj
2K notes
¡
View notes
Text
Change of Pace - 21 (Summer 2019)
cowritten by @achinglyshawn
summary: Shawn and Maya meet again 10 years after life got in the way of love
warnings: language
wc:Â 6.7k
------------
Maya is pouting.
Sheâs been waiting for tonight for over 48 hours. Heâs been busy at the shop and she tells herself itâs probably better because if they spend all their time together, theyâre going to fall back into their summer lust without any kind of real foundation for a relationship.Â
So busy is good. Sheâs gotten to start work on another piece -- itâs a little darker, a bleak memory of lying tangled in her sheets in Manhattan unable to sleep because sheâs been amped up on Adderall all day. Itâs cathartic, though. Artistic release at long last.
She stares out her window in her paint shirt and now signature Daisy Dukes, head cocked, squinting out at the thunderstorm rolling in off the sea. She and Shawn were going to the food truck night in the next town over but the fat raindrops plunking on her weatherproofed deck are telling her to make other plans.
She lifts her phone to text him.
Maya: hi :) mother nature has no mercy. Want to come do movies and food at my place? We can watch the storm come in
Shawn: you mean you donât want to eat street food in the pouring rain with me? :(Â
Maya: you mean you donât want to come snuggle and watch movies with me?
Shawn: i always want to do my two favorite things with you
Shawn: whatâre u thinking for food?
Shawn: i can pick up
Maya: sushi pls! That place on great st. with the funny name? They have that mt. fuji roll
Shawn: mt. fuji, extra gyoza, and the fancy tuna sashimiÂ
Shawn: dessert?
Maya definitely does not even for a second think about texting him âme.â
Maya: I got bored yesterday and walked down to Russellâs Candy Shoppe on main and got cute vintage penny candy
Shawn: youâre sweet
Shawn: but im gonna need more than penny candy to have a proper dessert
Maya: then by all means grab some mochi while youâre there
Shawn: can i tell you a secret?
Maya: always
Shawn: iâm definitely gonna pick up one of those in-house ice cream cakes from the corner market Â
Maya moans a little at reading his text.
Maya: omg bring it on, baby
Shawn: iâll text u when im on my way, sugar
Maya feels better about their plans now. She thinks she likes these better. A crack of thunder sounds distantly as she climbs the stairs. The power flickers when sheâs in the shower rinsing off and her heart throbs hard in her chest. Sometimes it occurs to her how alone she is in this house and it gets to her.
She changes into clingy leggings and a cozy-cute hoodie from the Roxy catalog and by the time she gets back downstairs to light some candles, not too many because she doesnât want to set âa mood,â itâs absolutely pouring. She hurries to find her garage door opener so she can leave it open for him and he doesnât have to get drenched walking into the house.
Because that would be just an excuse for him to take his clothes off. Which they donât need right now.
Shawn manages to stay mostly dry on his venture for food and ice cream cake. Heâs got his slicker on and an umbrella in the back, but heâs thankful to see Mayaâs garage door open when he pulls into her driveway.Â
He parks, shedding his raincoat before getting out of the Jeep. He navigates the food from the backseat, giving himself a free hand to knock on the door with.Â
Heâs still not sure where they stand on him using her spare keys and letting himself in. He thinks he likes it better this way, for now at least. He likes the anticipation. He thinks it makes their time together that much sweeter.Â
Maya has her fingers wrapped around a wide-bowled glass of red and itâs halfway to her lips when she hears him knock. She smiles and puts her glass down next to his, already poured, hurrying on her toes to reach him.
âHey you,â she murmurs, holding the door open for him to walk through. She takes one of the bags of food heâs hauling in. She expects heâll want to take off his jacket and shoes but she doesnât want to wait to kiss him just once before they should probably try to keep their hands and lips mostly to themselves.
She leans in and goes for a peck on his lips but when she gets there, she lingers slightly longer than planned. She missed him.Â
He almost drops the sushi when Maya kisses him. Heâs not expecting itâ theyâve been sticking with kisses on the cheek for greetings. Itâs safer that way.Â
But then he melts. Mayaâs lips linger long enough for him to sigh happily against her mouth. His fingers tighten around the plastic bag handles as they begin to slip, and he only pushes back so he can catch the bottom of the bag with his hand.Â
He looks from the sushi to Maya, a bit flustered as he catches his breath.Â
âHi,â he says, a grin pulling across his lips.Â
âI, uh,â He chuckles to himself, shakes his head. âI missed you.âÂ
Maya doesnât mean to knock him off balance but sheâs a little pleased that she did. She smiles, giggling under her breath watching him scrabble to catch the sushi before he drops it. He secures his hand under the bag and smiles down at her.Â
âI missed you too. I guess thatâs obvious by my pouncing on you when you walked in.â
Sheâs not really shy about it. She wants him to know sheâs been thinking about him and that she wanted him to know that as soon as he got here. He deserves to know how badly she wants him.
Shawn grins, shrugging as he brings the sushi to the kitchen counter.Â
âLucky for you, I like being pounced on,â he coos, untying the plastic knot keeping the bag closed.
She scoops up the bag with the ice cream cake and hurries it to her freezer. Despite the storm, itâs still hot out and she doesnât want it to melt. The broad, long windows on the side of her house show the storm clouds rolling in, dark and threatening. Sheâs got plates and wine already set up for them and HBO up on the TV.
She looks over at him while they unpack the sushi. âDid you get a lot done at the shop?â
Maya letâs the freezer door bang shut, then helps him unload the wide variety of sushi he couldnât help but order. He puts away enough himself, and he knows Maya always eats more sushi than she says she will.Â
Shawn hums, lifting a shoulder. âI finished a couple orders, but I still havenât started on that new bass yet. Itâs so fuckinâ delicate. I want to have a day I can dedicate to it.âÂ
Maya nods. She knows the instrument he means, he told her about it while she was sketching him the other day. It sounds like an intricate job. She understands his desire to be as detail-oriented as possible, itâs a quality they share. She smiles a bit sheepishly.
âI guess I can share you with your shop for another day if you need me to.â
Balance is good. Slow is good.Â
She smirks at the insane quantity of sushi he ordered, knowing theyâll probably end up eating it all anyway. She piles some segments from a few different rolls on a plate and points to his wine glass with a wink while strolling barefoot toward her couch to eat.
âThatâs for you, hun.â
Shawn looks up at the sound of her voice, sees her pointed finger and follows it to the full glass of wine she poured when he didnât notice. He smiles and lifts his sushi-filled plate in one hand, reaching for the wine with the other.Â
âYou know how to treat a guy right, donât you?âÂ
He follows her to the couch, toeing off his shoes so her can settle in as comfortably as Maya does. He leans back, kicks his legs up onto the coffee table.Â
âSo,â he asks through a mouthful of rice, âWhat are we watching?âÂ
Shawn plops himself down next to her in a way that says her house feels at least a little like his home, too. She adjusts her position next to him, swinging her legs up to fold beside her, leaning in up against his arm while she drops a sashimi piece in her mouth. She purrs at the taste of the fresh fish.
âI narrowed it down to,â she begins, swallowing her own bite, ââWeâre the Millersâ or âWhen Harry Met Sally.â Food picker-upperâs choice.â
It was an old tradition of theirs -- whoever brought over food could pick the movie. They almost always agreed on stuff to watch, though.
Like a snake, Shawn unhinges his jaw around a plump piece of sushi, nodding and humming as he considers the options she gives him. He hasnât seen the former, and heâs seen the later more times than he should probably admit.Â
He looks at Maya, watches the way her cheeks bulge as she pops pieces of sushi into her mouth. His lips twitch. She looks like a chipmunk, a little, her nose twitching as she chews.Â
Maya glances out the windows when another loud crack sounds closer to the house. The rain pounds harder against the windows.
âGonna have good waves tomorrow,â she murmurs, handing him the remote, reaching for another bite of sushi.
He takes the remote, deciding heâs in the mood for something new and selects Weâre the Millers. Presses play and sips his wine.
âWanna have a beach day? Or well. Half day? I should go into the shop but I can hang out in the morning.âÂ
Maya watches Jason Sudeikis start to round up his band of misfits, enjoying the light comedy amidst the raging storm outside. She pops another bite of sushi in her mouth and follows it with a sip of wine.
âIâd love that,â she says, eyeing him from the side, âBut if you have to spend the day at the studio, I can deal.â
She smiles supportively despite how badly she wants to take him up on the offer.
Shawn nods as he chews on a piece of tuna. He knows theyâre both trying to navigate between wanting to be together all the time and giving each other space.Â
But they havenât gone to the beach together since starting this take-it-slow dating thing, so he thinks a half day wouldnât be too much.Â
âI can spare a half day to have some fun in the sun with you,â he says with a grin, reaching over with his chopsticks to steal a piece of gyoza from her plate, since he forgot to take some for himself.Â
Maya smacks at his chopsticks to sabotage him when he steals from her plate but the dumpling is in his mouth before she can protest.
âRude,â she mumbles, elbowing him teasingly and scooting just a touch closer.
Heâs warm and firm and smells a little woody. She doesnât make a show of snuggling up to him, but she does unfold her legs and cross them next to his noticeably.
Shawn feels Maya shift closer, so he settles back into the couch and angles himself towards her. Luckily, she sits to his left, so he can casually drape his arm along the back of the couch, behind her shoulders, while still pinching sushi between his soy sauce-stained chopsticks.Â
Maya snorts a little at the TV and covers her mouth. This movie is so fucking funny -- she forgot how funny. Itâs nice just to laugh with him and feel no pressure at all. The storm rages on around them. She absently hopes her studio isnât leaking from the roof again, but she covered her pieces with dropcloths just in case.
âJennifer Aniston is so hot,â Maya comments through a mouthful of salmon.
Shawn pauses, mid-pinch. He looks at Maya, watches her stare at Jennifer Aniston. He grins.Â
âIâve always had the worst crush on her. Did I ever tell you that?âÂ
He thinks he used to pretend not to have celebrity crushes because it made him lame or something. Or because he didnât want Maya thinking he was a gross jerk, or something. Or probably because he didnât want to say anything to make Maya think he wasnât completely gone for her.Â
Probably a combo of all three. The reasons feel silly now.Â
Maya chuckles and leans into his arm a little, welcoming him to stay close to her. She shakes her head and daubs some wasabi on a firecracker roll for an extra punch. She shrugs.
âNo, but it doesnât shock me. All straight guys are obsessed with her. Understandably.â
Now that sheâs thinking about it, she doesnât really know who his celebrity crushes are. They never used to talk about that stuff, like they were afraid to acknowledge that theyâd ever found anyone else attractive.
She angles herself toward him and quirks an eyebrow. âWho else, then? Spill the tea. Or whatever kids say now.â
Shawnâs got a mouthful of tuna and feeling cornered by the question. He chews and swallows and looks down at his plate as his shoulders lift in a small shrug.Â
âI dunno,â he laughs. He actually hasnât thought about a celebrity crush in years. Heâs been focused on work, and the only woman he ever thought about was Maya, when he was feeling self-indulgent enough to let himself.Â
He chews through a piece of salmon, glancing at her.
âOkay, actually. I do know,â he sighs, shaking his head and looking back to the TV. He smiles. âAmy Adams. Especially as Lois Lane.â
Maya laughs, delighted. âOf course! Sheâs totally got that wholesome-hot thing going on. That makes a lot of sense for you, actually.â
Maya glances out the window, considering it. She doesnât, naturally, love the vision of Shawn and Amy Adams but she can see theyâd look good together. Of course they would.
She hums low in her throat and bites down on her last piece of sushi, a slice of perfect toro sashimi.
âAmy Adams is gorgeous,â she admits. Sheâs gorgeous in a very different way than Maya is. She knows that. She thinks given the choice, Shawn would probably still choose Maya. That makes her smile.
âI think my number one celebrity crush is Mila Kunis, which is the most frat-bro answer ever.â
Shawn laughs. Everyone loves Mila Kunis, so heâs not surprised, just like she wasnât surprised about Aniston.Â
He picks up another piece of sushi, swishing it around in the soy sauce on his plate. He shrugs, âYeah, probably, but the frat-bros arenât wrong when it comes to her. So itâs okay.âÂ
He pops the whole piece in his mouth, chewing greedily as he tries not to think about Maya and Mila Kunis making out. He doesnât need to go there, not if theyâre gonna keep this night PG-13.
She knew Shawn would agree about Mila. Every straight man in North America agrees about Mila. She likes that theyâre talking about this kind of stuff now and not hiding it away because theyâre worried about getting uncomfortable. She doesnât even mind that they share celebrity crushes. Crushes are fun.
âCan I tell you something, though?âÂ
She puts her plate back on the coffee table and leans back against the warmth of his arm around the back of her couch.
She smiles up at him. âAlways.â
Shawn follows Mayaâs lead, lifting his plate from his lap to set it on the table. He wipes his sticky fingers on his napkin and tosses it onto the plates with the rest of their debris. When theyâre both settled again, his arm casually on the back of the sofa once more, Shawn finds the words for his admission.Â
âI always, like, had celebrity crushes, I guess, but. I donât know. I never crushed on anyone as hard as I crushed on you. I only really went to that art show in college because I knew you were going to be showing pieces and I wanted to see them, and see if I could catch a glimpse of you, too.âÂ
Heâs never admitted that to her. He always felt weird about it, before. Now it feels silly. He was a boy with a crush, not some creep. Well, he hopes Maya sees it that way, at least. He glances at her, lips pressed together as his heart rattles in a cage.Â
What a reckless thing to admit. Oh, well. He wanted her to know. He thinks she deserves the truth.Â
Maya doesnât mean to laugh, exactly. Sheâs not laughing at him. Sheâs laughing because sheâd never guess that hearing something like this from him now would have her quite so smitten and bashful. Itâs 15 years ago, this night heâs talking about. And he makes it sound like it was last week.
âGod, I love that. I⌠thank you for telling me that. ThatâsâŚâ
She trails off, going very pink and giggly. Sheâs acting more juvenile now than she did that night she met him when they were both just kids. She remembers how sweet and vulnerable he seemed then, hands in his pockets, gazing up at her pieces that she kind of hated like they were worth a fortune to him.
He doesnât expect her to laugh. He partly expected her to be weirded out, partly expected her to maybe find it sweet. He didnât think what he said was very funny, though.Â
Shawn raises his brows.Â
âYou, ah, youâre welcome,â he replies, corner of his lips twitching with the urge to smile, because her laughter is infectious.
Her laughter peters out, and then she looks at him in a way he feels like she hasnât before. Well, maybe since college. Itâs a look that sears him from the inside out, had his breath catching in his throat.
She swallows. It was so long ago. But when she looks up at him now, he looks just the same, sweet and vulnerable as ever, undeterred by being unlucky in love.
She thinks his luck is changing.Â
Slowly, carefully so he can stop her if he wants, she tucks a hand around the back of his neck and guides his lips to hers for a deep, perfect kiss.
Shawn goes easily when Maya pulls him close, her lips moulding to his in a way that has his heart hammering. He groans, reaching around to cup her face, tilting her head back to sweeten the kiss.Â
Mayaâs trying not to think about the fact that this kiss is maybe the longest theyâve shared since they rebooted their relationship. She doesnât want to get clammy and anxious, she doesnât want to overthink this. She wants to relax.Â
Maya murmurs gently into his mouth when he holds her cheek. She lets her weight settle back, necessitating the need for him to come forward to meet her.Â
She doesnât know how long sheâs going to get to keep him like this. She gently swipes her tongue into his mouth, tickling her fingers up the nape of his neck to twist and pluck at the tiny curls there that sheâs missed.Â
Shawn aches from the tenderness of the kiss, from the way she melts into the couch and coaxes him with her. He leans on to his hip, falling after her, his arm slipping down around her shoulders.Â
Her fingers in his hair sends shivers down his spine, and he accepts her tongue eagerly with a gentle hum.
Shawn slides his hand from her cheek to the back of her neck, fingers weaving through her dark, silken curls. He breaks the kiss only to dive in again, this time sucking lazily at her lip, though lightly enough to stay away from anything too tempting.
God, he feels so fucking good.Â
He purrs into her mouth and itâs gorgeous. It eggs her on. When he parts from her to suck at her lip, she whimpers and pulls her other hand up to his chest to feel him breathe.Â
He feels so sturdy and stable. She wants to just hang on him by her fingers in his hair until their limbs fall asleep. She moves her hand up a little higher to massage the back of his neck as he leans over her.Â
The thunder remains loud. In fact, if Maya were paying attention, sheâd notice itâs the loudest itâs been. But sheâs not. Sheâs consumed by him.Â
Shawn doesnât think theyâve ever kissed like this before. He keeps thinking that lately, that all the kisses theyâve shared in the last couple weeks are different. This is the closest to making out theyâve gotten, and itâs nothing like how they would make out in the beginning of the summer. Or when they were in college.Â
Sheâs tender but eager, pliable but steady. She kisses him like maybe she really could fall in love with him again, and not like sheâs just throwing caution to the wind for nostalgiaâs sake. Sheâs making his stomach twist with fucking butterflies.Â
She hums into his mouth this time, pulling away just slightly, âThis is ok, right? This is fine?â
His lips fall to her jaw when she pulls back without warning. His eyes open, brows raising as he leans away to get a proper look at her. Her cheeks are flushed, lips swollen from his ministrations, but he notes a worried gleam in her eye like she thinks he really might say itâs not okay.Â
âYeah,â he rasps, maybe too eagerly, âYes. It-- I mean, itâs totally okay with me, if itâs okay with you. Is it? Okay with you? Cause we can do something else. Anything you want.âÂ
Maya smiles, her eyes drifting shut. She lifts her hand from his chest to cup his cheek and exhales a little chuckle.
âYeah. Iâm-- Yeah. I missed this. I just donât want to move too fast. I justâŚâ
She pecks her lips to his quickly, as if to tide her over. âI donât know how fast is too fast and how slow is too slow.â
She swallows and looks up into his beautiful brown eyes. She brushes her nose against his and continues her fingersâ calming motion through his hair.
It feels impossibly cheesy to think, but Shawnâs sure he could look into Mayaâs eyes. Especially when she looks at him like that. Heâs lost in that look, and in the rhythmic stroking of her fingers in his hair like he loves so much.Â
His hand finds her cheek once more. He shakes his head.
âI donât either, sugar,â he murmurs, thumb brushing across her round, pink cheek, âItâs notâ well, this isnât something Iâm used to navigating. But what I do know is, I really, really enjoy kissing you.âÂ
He smiles, his lips brushing against hers as her does.Â
Mayaâs lips spark as his skim across hers. She inhales and lets herself have him, just a little more of him. She lifts her hand up higher in his hair and secures it, fingers vined in his curls, wrapping the other arm around his shoulders.Â
âThen letâs keep doing that.â
âYeah, letâs keep--â
Mayaâs lips are on Shawnâs before he can finish his eager agreement. She pulls him in with small palms against broad shoulders, has him sinking further until heâs nearly pressed on top of her.Â
Sheâs not sure where to put her hands so she keeps them confined mostly to his neck and shoulders. She gets just a little daring when she seeks out the hot skin just under the collar of his T-shirt with her sneaky fingertips. She feels under control, though. And itâs not even a little boring.Â
He behaves himself, keeps an arm curled safely around her shoulders while his hand rests on her hip, high enough to remain innocent. He finds himself sucking on her lip once more, flicking it gently with his tongue before getting it between his teeth. Heâs delicate with all of it, less insistent or voraciously desperate than he was only a few weeks ago.Â
He finds, really, that he enjoys this much better. This is how they shouldâve been kissing all along.Â
Mayaâs fingers find his skin and send a shiver down his spine, have his fingers curling into her hip. She leaves soft, subtle strokes along the base of his neck that shouldnât send him reeling nearly as much as they are. He groans into her mouth, then moves his hand on her shoulder to the back of her head. He cradles her carefully while he rolls off of his hip, sitting back and pulling Maya with him.Â
He goes until heâs lying on the couch, Maya relaxed on top of him as they continue to kiss lazily, as if theyâve suddenly got all the time they never had before.
Maya thinks this feels more like exploration than anything theyâve ever done together, maybe even dating back to when they first got together in college. Even then, everything was frantic, hurried, desperate. This is different.
As he teases her lips and tugs her on top of him when he lies down, Maya starts to wonder if theyâve ever just⌠made out. I mean, of course they have, but have they ever made out just to make out, and not because they didnât have time to have sex? If they have, Maya doesnât remember. Maybe theyâve always been a little bit desperate.
Maya shifts on top of him, getting comfortable. She props herself up on her forearm and lets one of her legs slot between his without getting too suggestive. She pulls up from the depth of the kiss a little, brushing the tip of her nose against his. She pecks little soft kisses on his top lip, then the bottom one, then his nose.
âThis is nice,â she whispers, kissing his cheeks next.
Maya eases into him so well. She practically melts on top of him, sighing into his mouth as his hands glide up the length of her back until he reaches her shoulder blades.
Shawn smiles as she drops quick kisses to his lips. He tries to catch her with a kiss of his own, but she moves to his nose, then his cheek.Â
He smirks into the soft angle of her jaw, his nose brushing against her cheek as he nods.Â
âThis is really nice, Lu,â he murmurs, pressing his lips to the soft skin just beneath her ear. He trails to her jaw, where he idles, humming at presses kiss after gentle kiss to her skin.
His lips trail off after hers do. They make her smile and shiver a little. She hugs him closer, lifting her fingers through his hair like she used to when he couldnât fall asleep. She closes her eyes and lets herself wonder if itâll be like this for them for a while. Or forever.
Maya hears her throat clear. She doesnât study whether or not asking him this while theyâre in this position might be a bit tactless. She just wants to feel like she can always ask him anything.
She pulls up, disconnecting, rather reluctantly, his lips from her smooth jaw. She swallows and cups his cheek, brushing her thumb along the underside of his beautifully defined cheekbone.
Heâs distracted with the sweet taste of her skin when she pulls away from him. He blinks his eyes open, smiling slightly as she strokes his cheek.
âI have to ask,â she says, voice wavering, âWith Leah⌠when you married her, did you think it was going to be forever?â
Shawnâs brows raise. Thatâs not anything he was expecting her to ask.Â
Heâs not sure how to answer.Â
âAhââ he wets his lips, looking down between them. He takes a breath in, looks back up at her. âI wanted it to be. I told myself I would make it last. But, uh, I donâtââ he smiles, closes his eyes and shakes his head, âI donât think I ever really felt it in my gut.âÂ
Maya nods thoughtfully and looks down at her fingers brushing against the freckles on his neck.Â
âI guess I was hoping youâd say that,â she confesses, âNot because⌠I mean, obviously I want you to be happy, but if you were happy with her you wouldnât be here, soâŚâ
She closes her eyes and shakes her head. Sheâs getting tangled up. She blinks a few times and starts again.Â
âI just mean that everyone always says you just... know. And Iâve never understood it. I donât think you can understand unless you feel it. If you say you didnât truly feel like it was forever, I think maybe that gives me some weird hope that the knowing thing, itâs real.â
She hopes itâs ok sheâs blabbering about this. She feels like itâs a touchy subject to bring up, not just because of Leah, but because theyâre supposed to be taking it slow.Â
Shawn canât control the adoring smile that splits his lips as Maya babbles. He doesnât think heâs ever heard her ramble like this, like sheâs nervous to be honest with him. Even when she told him sheâd been lying about New York, she was clear and concise.Â
He doesnât mind when she gets flustered. He likes thinking that maybe he makes her as nervous as she makes him.Â
The way he smiles at her assures her she wasnât out of line, she wasnât even really ruining the mood. He smiles like he knows something she doesnât. Itâs not infuriating the way that it was at work when the guys on her team thought they were smarter than she was. He smiles like heâs been there and he wants to help her through it.
Carefully, Shawn slides his hand from her shoulder blade to the back of her head, fingers curling in her hair. He nudges her nose with his, dropping a soft kiss to her lips as her babbling dies down.Â
âThe knowing thing is definitely real. I promise.âÂ
Mayaâs breath hitches. As he pulls back to speak, her lips follow his. She bites down on her lower lip to keep herself from muffling his words in her mouth.
Heâs not sure heâs allowed to say, Because I know with you, yet. Theyâre trying to go slow not only physically, but emotionally too. He canât help his gut, though. Sheâs always had a hold on his heart in a way no one else has ever managed. He couldnât change it even if he wanted to.Â
(He knows. He tried. It ended in divorce.)Â
Her stomach completely flips. On some level, she knew. She knows he loves her. Heâs always been the one that was sure. Even now, after everything, he still knows. It makes her want to squeal and throw herself into him and never let him leave, not that he wants to.
As she looks down at him, she feels safe. That much is certain. She doesnât feel a rush to get to where he is now. Sheâll know when she knows. She believes him.
Shawnâs answer seems to placate Maya, who bites her lip and looks down at him like she couldnât be happier with what heâs said. He tucks a few loose strands of hair behind her ear, fingertips brushing gently over the shell.
She dips her head and kisses him again, settling back into his body as the storm starts to pass. The rain is getting lighter, the thunder quieter. Soon itâll just be silent around them.
Then, she kisses him. Itâs firm, but sweet, and feels like sheâs trying to tell him sheâs gonna love him back one day, just as much as he loves her. He hums into her mouth, his fingertips still toying lightly with her ear and massaging her scalp.Â
He lets her kiss him for a few seconds and she thinks maybe heâs going to let her stay there lavishing him with kisses as long as her heart desires. Needless to say, theyâd end up being there a while.
His gentleness is so comforting she feels like she could fall asleep just lying here, kissing him. She doesnât want to.
He pulls away after a moment, not because he wants to, but because now heâs got a question for her, and heâs not sure heâll find a better time to bring it up.Â
He kisses her cheek, then the angle of her jaw.Â
âCan I ask you something now?â he murmurs, nosing her temple softly.
He shifts back and itâs probably for the best because her eyelids are fluttering and sheâs so lost in him she almost canât find her way back.
She nods at his prompt, tracing her fingertips along the contours of his throat.
Her fingers find his neck, and Shawnâs eyes fall shut. He lets himself revel in it for a moment, in the way she touches him so lovingly. His heart hammers, stomach twisting, and now heâs all the more nervous to ask his question.Â
He takes his time asking and she canât pretend it doesnât make her more anxious. Itâs good, she has to remind herself, the openness feels hard right now but itâs just because youâre not good at it yet.
He wets his lips, finally blinking to look at her again.Â
Shawn smiles, brings his palm to her cheek.Â
He swallows, takes a breath. âIs it okay that I know because of you?âÂ
He figures she already knows. But thereâs a difference between an unspoken truth and a spoken one. He wants to be sure she knows what he means. He feels like heâs been transparent with the way he feels about her, too much so in the months before now. But he wants her to know it wasnât all just nostalgia and longing for a comfort he once knew.Â
Maya stares down at him in wonder. Heâs saying what he thinks sheâs saying. Heâs not dancing around it, heâs not being coy, heâs telling her he loves her and heâs going to forever. Her breath comes short in her chest. She closes her eyes and exhales through her nose nice and slow.
âGod, yes. Thatâs⌠more than ok. Thatâs amazing.â
Amazing.Â
Amazing is his new favorite word. Itâs amazing, she thinks, that heâs in love with her. She thinks the way he feels about her is amazing.Â
He thinks sheâs amazing.Â
She kisses him again, just quickly, because sheâs not done yammering.
âBecause if you know that means Iâll know, too. When⌠itâs time.â
Now she is being somewhat coy, but she knows he knows what she means.
He smiles into her kiss, too busy thinking about the way she purred when she said amazing.Â
As always, however, Maya manages to grab his attention. He lifts his brows, taking a slow, calming breath through his nose. His tongue darts out, wetting his lower lip.Â
âYou-- ah-- You mean because of me, right? I mean, I guess thatâs what you probably mean but I just wanna--, you know, for the, uh, the sake of clarity, eh?âÂ
Mayaâs nose twitches as she tries to tamp down a ridiculous smile. She feels a little more empowered now to skip right past coy. She pecks his lips again, pulling up to press her forehead to his.
âFor the sake of clarity,â she begins teasingly, âI mean that if you really know that this is it for you, that you want me forever, then I trust your judgment. And I believe I can get to a place where I know, completely certainly, that this is it for me.â
Itâs the best she can do for now. Itâs honest. Itâs not overreaching or underselling. Itâs exactly how she feels. And it feels good to be that candid.Â
Shawn swallows, arms dropping to her waist when she gets close, murmuring low.Â
She gives him the closest thing to I love you he can think of. Closer than he ever thought heâd get so soon afterâ well, after screwing up and fighting and rebooting the entire thing.Â
But itâs not a total reboot, because thereâs history between them. Theyâre just not so afraid of it, anymore.Â
He smiles, then catches her lips in a gentle kiss, because sheâs there, and one day sheâs gonna be in love with him again.Â
Small victories, right?
âJust, take your time, okay? We have so much time. Iâm reallyâ Iâm looking forward to it. To the journey, or whatever,â his voice rasps and he rolls his eyes at himself at the end, but he means it.Â
He thinks, maybe, heâs ready for the real kind of relationship he never was before.Â
Maya tips her forehead back against his when he rolls his eyes. She closes hers and strokes the pad of her thumb down his throat.
She doesnât think sheâll need much time. Falling in love with him again seems a foregone conclusion. She appreciates more than she can say that heâs being so patient with her. Itâs one thing to hold off on having sex for a while but to give her the space to come to her own conclusions about their relationship, it takes a lot of strength, maturity and confidence.
So how could she not be in love with him?
The truth is, itâs not about him, the reason she canât fall into this with him now. Maya has been a shell for 12 years, by choice. She feels like sheâs still learning to live again and not just exist. Letting Shawn in all at once will fill the holes in her that she hasnât spackled yet, but she wonât be whole. She has to spend time with herself, learn to be and love herself again before she can love him the way he deserves to be loved.
After a few pleasantly, comfortably silent moments, Maya tilts her head and drops her lips onto his once more. She sweeps falling hair up behind her ear and leans into it.
âThank you,â she murmurs sincerely into his mouth.
He kisses the thanks from her lips, humming softly as he cups the back of her head and strokes his fingers lovingly through her hair. He pulls back after a minute, when he feels his stomach growl to remind him of the ice cream cake in the freezer.Â
âMmm,â he hums, fingers finding her chin so he can tilt her head back, âYou know how you can really thank me, Lemon?â
He smiles, then sinks his teeth into his lower lip to feign coy innocence as he tilts his head at her, as if his request is something sheâll need convincing to do.Â
Mayaâs heart reaches up into her throat. She squirms on top of him slightly. His fingers feel almost too hot on her skin. Watching him bite into his lip has her almost panting on top of him.
âWhatâŚ. Uhm, how?â she stutters.
A slow, cheshire cat grin splits Shawnâs lips. He reaches for the disobedient strand of hair that keeps falling in Mayaâs face, tucks it behind her ear while his thumb grazes her jaw.Â
âYou can help me eat the ice cream cake in the freezer thatâs calling my name.âÂ
He raises his brows, eyes crinkling at the corners as if to âGotchya!âÂ
Mayaâs face goes a little red and she rolls her eyes, burying her bashful face into his neck while she laughs.
âYouâre such an idiot,â she groans, kissing along his throat while she hauls herself up on her hands over him. Reluctantly, she peels off the warmth of his body and helps him off the couch, keeping their fingers tangled on the way to the freezer. She swings his arms around her waist and hobbles them both over.
They sit at her bar with pieces of cake. They talk about nothing and everything. They donât go back to the couch. She walks him out a couple hours later when theyâre both nearly half asleep. She kisses him goodnight. He calls her âsugar.â Sheâs so happy.
----------
Taglist: @smallerinfinitiesâ @the-claire-bitch-project @achinglyshawnâ @infiniteshawnâ @mendesoftâ @singanddreamanywayâ @alone-in-madnessâ @abigfatmessâ @shawnitsmutualâ @awkwardfangirl2014â @september-laceâ @sinplisticshawnâ @rollingxstoneâ @yslsaintâ @randi-eveâ @fallmoreinloveâ @heyits-claireâ @itrocksmysocksâ @parkerspicedlatteâ @simpledomainâ @abeautiful-and-cloudy-dayâ @thecurlsofgod @magcon7280â @bensbuttercupâ @shawnsmusicalâ @paigeasourousâ @tell-me-when-ur-readyâ @softmendesssâ @searchingunderthestarsâ @buggy-blogsâ @mendesficsxbombayâ @siennarossiâ @lostinshawnsmemoryâ @umbreakablesoulâ @sleepybessonâ @shawnsheavenâ @desire-to-liveâ @jillian-ndâ @shawnwyrâ @curlsofshawnâ @graysonmendesâ @tnhmbliveâ @meltingicequeenâ
#Shawn Mendes Imagine#shawn mendes fan fic#shawn mendes#shawn mendes fic#shawn mendes fanfic#shawn mendes fanfiction#shawn mendes fiction#shawn mendes fan fiction#shawn mendes fluff#shawn mendes series#shawn mendes smut#shawn mendes angst#shawn mendes au#shawn mendes blurbs#shawn mendes drabble
69 notes
¡
View notes