#janine who needs a last name

[janeyseymour]

All I Ask

Loosely based off of two prompts: one where R asks Mel to hold her as more than just a friend the night before Mel goes on a first date, and another where both R and Mel are set up on blind dates (requested by @gwennybriggs)... enjoy.

WC: ~4.15k

One thing about Barbara Howard is that she loves to play match maker.

“All I’m saying, Melissa, is maybe it’s time to get yourself back out there!” Barbara antagonizes her best friend once again during a lunch period. The kindergarten teacher looks to you with a small smirk. She knows of your feelings for a certain redhead sitting in between the two of you, and she’s hoping that the second grade teacher will just take the damned hint. The kindergarten teacher also knows of the feelings that Melissa harbors for you. 

“And all I’m sayin’, Barbara,” Melissa says that name with a pointed tone. “Is that I don’t need no one in my life to ‘complete’ me, or whatever bullshit you wanna tell me being in love does.”

“Melissa, it’s been two years since you broke it off with Gary. Don’t you think it’s time to get yourself back out there? Just maybe?”

“I don’t need nobody- not when I have a happy life as it is.”

That is the end of the conversation for the time being, but then Melissa starts to think it over. Maybe what Barbara is saying is true- it’s been a while. And she does miss having someone to fall asleep with at night. Although… whenever you come over, the two of you end up curled up on the couch together, and occasionally you will spend the night in her bed with her.

It’s platonic. It’s just friends being friends. At least that’s what Melissa tells herself. That’s what you tell yourself too when you lay in bed with her at night and wonder if maybe, just maybe, this is something more. 

So the next time you’re over, Melissa asks you about it.

“What do you think about what Barb was saying the other day at school? About… finding love and all that shit?” the redhead asks you as her head lays in your lap.

You stiffen slightly, not sure if this is your chance to say anything. Green eyes look up to meet your own, trying to figure out your thoughts.

“I mean, I think it might be good for you,” you shrug softly.

“Well,” she says as she sits up to look at you more intensely. “What about for you? Miss eternally single?”

The reason you’ve been single as long as you have been is because of your feelings for the redhead, not that she knows it. You shrug your shoulders ever so slightly, letting her know that you have hesitations in your answer. “I guess maybe I could consider going out on a date or something.”

So the next day at school, during lunch, love lives are the topic of the staff room.

“I was thinking… what if we set you up with someone I know?” Barbara asks. “C’mon, you know I would pick someone good for you.”

Melissa sighs a great breath. “Will it get you off my back if I say yes?” At the kindergarten teacher’s nod, the redhead swallows harshly before, “Fine.”

“Oh, how wonderful. I know just who I should set you up with!”

“You know, Y/N and I were talkin’ last night, and she’s thinkin’ ‘bout getting back into the dating game too. You know of anyone to set her up with, Lowercase?” Melissa asks.

Janine’s eyes brighten, and you can swear you see them almost start to sparkle at the idea of getting to play match maker for you. “I do!”

“Oi,” you roll your eyes and shake your head. You elbow the second grade teacher sitting next to you gently. “Way to throw me under the bus.”

“If I gotta do it, so d’you.”

As you and the redheaded second grade teacher head out a few minutes early to use the restroom before picking up your kids from lunch, Barbara whips around to look at Janine and the rest of the group.

“I’m going to say something, and what I say must be kept between those of us in this room,” the veteran teacher says seriously. “That means nobody will tell Melissa or Y/N.”

“Barb, how am I supposed to not tell them?” Jacob asks incredulously.

Barbara stares him down intensely. “If you cannot vow to not say a word to your roommate about this, then you may leave.”

The social studies teacher’s hands raise in surrender, and he urges her silently to continue.

“You’ve all noticed the way those two are always together, and Y/N has stolen my work wife, yes?”

She’s met with a chorus of affirmations as well as head nods. Jacob puts in that you’re almost always over, and that occasionally you end up spending the night after a glass too many.

“I’ve had about enough of this tiptoeing around that those two love sick fools are doing,” Barbara rolls her eyes. “So, I am going to pretend to send Melissa up with one of my friends. Janine, you will set up Y/N with one of your friends. And we all ensure together that the two of them end up in the same place at the same time without them finding out that they will be showing up to the same date, yes?”

“Oh my god!” Jacob grins and claps his hands together in excitement. “We all get to play match maker!”

“Do you see now why we mustn’t speak a word of this to Melissa or Y/N?” Barbara looks at the excited man pointedly.

He gives a serious nod.

That day, Barbara gives a talking head to the camera men. Janine joins her. 

“When Barbara Howard wants something, Barbara Howard gets that thing,” the kindergarten teacher states. “And what Barbara Howard wants now more than anything is for those two to get their heads out of their asses. The two of them… flirting harder than Janine and Gregory were before they finally pulled their acts together.”

“Hey!” Janine gasps. “Did I only get pulled into this interview to get insulted?”

The veteran teacher just gives her a knowing look and a pat on the shoulder.

The next day, Barbara comes in with a pep in her step as she knows that her plan will soon be put into place.

“What has you in such a chipper mood?” Melissa asks as she pours herself and you a cup of coffee before the kids come in. The redhead places your cup where she knows you’ll end up once you show up for the day.

The kindergarten teacher looks to Janine, who is sitting very quietly (for once), before grinning. “I found the perfect person for you to go out on a date with.”

“Oh?”

“A friend of mine,” is all Barb offers up. “So, you have a date at six tomorrow night at The Dandelion.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Would you rather I change it to tonight?”

A blush creeps into the second grade teacher’s cheeks. “No. No thank you.”

It’s only a few minutes later that you walk into the room, cheeks flushed from the cool air outside. 

“Hey,” Melissa smiles softly at you. She juts her chin out in the direction of your steaming hot cup of coffee. “Made it for you already.”

“You’re a lifesaver,” you grin as you go to put your lunch in the refrigerator. “I think I’m going to need it today.”

“Well,” the second grade teacher chuckles as you sit down next to her. “If you need another cup, you know you can always ask me to grab you another.”

You lay a gentle hand on her knee and squeeze it affectionately. “You’re the best.”

Mr. Johnson smirks at the camera.

Because the group has conspired to set the two of you up unknowingly to you and Melissa, no one speaks of the redhead’s date at lunch- much to her surprise. Melissa will take it though- not having to deal with the crew on her back about it.

“You comin’ back to my place today?” the second grade teacher asks as you’re packing up your lunch.

You nod with a small smile as you nudge her affectionately. “I’ll bring the wine?”

“Should I bring enough for Jacob too?”

“I will be out with a new man, so no need,” the social studies teacher cuts into your conversation. “Hopefully, this one works out.”

So, you and your coworker end up on the couch together after a long day with a delicious meal and a rather full glass of wine in front of each of you.

“So, anything interesting happen at school today for you?” you ask as you lay your head down in the redhead’s lap.

Melissa hums softly before sighing. “Barb is setting me up with her friend. I have a date tomorrow.”

Your eyes widen ever so slightly. “Oh?”

She shrugs, trying to gauge how you feel about that. And thankfully, you’re able to mask your true emotions on the matter. “That’s nice. It seems like everyone is starting to put themselves out there lately.”

“I’m sure Janine will find someone for you soon enough,” the redhead tells you. “You’re a catch, and someone is bound to see that sooner or later.”

You grimace. You’re not so sure about that. And even if you were, you only want one person, and it’s becoming more and more clear to you that you’ll never have your chance with her. So, in that moment, you decide that starting tomorrow maybe you need to start distancing yourself from Melissa in order to get over this silly crush you have on her. You have to get yourself back out there without her constantly lingering in the back of your mind.

“Hun,” she thinks she’s reading you like a book. “C’mon, you’re a great woman. Anyone with eyes can see that you’re beautiful, and then when you let your personality shine through… you’re the real-”

You shake your head as you sit up. “Can we just… not talk about this right now? I just want to enjoy tonight with you… savor our time alone while I can before someone swoops in and steals you from me.”

Green eyes meet yours, filled with a pleading look to just drop the matter of the conversation. It’s clear to you that she wants to continue to try to boost your confidence and build you up, but she relents. “So, did anything interesting happen at school with you today?”

After polishing off the bottle of wine that you brought over, Melissa ends up bringing out a second bottle. You hate to admit that you perhaps have a few too many glasses just because you’re trying to drown out your sorrows about not ever being able to tell the woman next to you how you feel and that this is probably the last night you’ll have with her where things are exactly the way they are now.

“C’mon, hun,” Melissa nudges you gently after your head has hit her shoulder for the fourth time that night. “Let’s just head to bed.”

You nod against her shoulder sleepily, but you make no moves to get up.

“Y/N,” the redhead nudges you again. “C’mon.”

“I’m comfortable here,” you yawn out. “You’re comfortable.”

“I can be comfortable up in my bed too,” Melissa retorts with a small laugh. “I can’t sleep on a couch anymore, so c’mon.”

You let out a small whine but disentangle yourself from her own limbs before looking at her with a pout.

“Trust me,” your coworker sighs as she sets a hand on the small of your back to guide you up the steps. “You being grumpy and getting up for a proper night’s sleep is much better than me being a bitch tomorrow because I woke up sore after a night of sleeping on the couch.”

You nod your head begrudgingly. The two of you crawl into bed as you usually do- both having respective sides. A chill rushes through you as the wine drunkenness begins to wear off and your met with the cool sensation of Melissa’s fan running in her bedroom.

“You cold?” the redhead asks as she lifts an arm for you to scoot under.

You nod as you shimmy into her space with a soft smile. Her arm wraps around you and pulls you even closer.

In a rather bold move, instead of laying your head on her shoulder, you turn to face her with a sad smile.

“What’s wrong?” Melissa asks you. “Are you still cold? Should I get extra blankets?”

You shake your head. “I just… things are going to change if all goes well with you and this man Barb’s setting you up with, and if Janine ever finds someone for me.”

Melissa just hums. She’s not quite sure what to say to you about this. What you’re saying is true, and it’s becoming clear to her that you aren’t necessarily thrilled with that. If she’s being honest with herself, she isn’t too fond of the idea of things changing between the two of you either.

“And… I know it’s dumb, and I know that we aren’t together, but I like what we have,” you mumble.

“I do too, hun,” Melissa squeezes your hand gently.

“Can we just… pretend for tonight?”

“What do you mean?” Green eyes look at you curiously.

“Pretend that we’re not scared of what’s coming next, or scared of having nothing left?” You quote Adele’s lyrics unknowingly. “Like… if this is my last night with you, where everything is how it usually is, can you hold me like I’m more than just a friend?” You know you’re still drunk, or at least somewhat intoxicated. If Melissa shoots you down, you can blame the alcohol. And if she doesn’t, tomorrow you can excuse your question with the alcohol too. What do you really have to lose? Not much, if you’re being honest with yourself.

The way that she pulls you close to her and wraps her arms around your waist simultaneously makes your heart grow three sizes and break. What is happening feels so right, but you know that this is only one time. It won’t ever happen again. You feel warm lips against your neck, and you inhale deeply. Why can’t this dream of yours be a reality?

As the redhead beside you gently nips at your neck, just once, she too has feelings of regret. Why is it that she only wants you right now?

The two of you fall asleep dreaming about the same thing- a life together. 

You wake first, and the feeling of still being in Melissa’s arms has you practically swooning. If anything, throughout the night, she held onto you tighter than she had while awake. It’s warm and domestic, and you can smell the perfume she was wearing last night as it surrounds and intoxicates you.

You lay there in a peaceful bliss until her alarm starts going off. She wakes with a small jolt before her eyes peel open, and you’re met with her sparkling eyes.

“Hey, hun,” Melissa smiles at you. “You sleep off all that wine last night?”

You roll your eyes playfully as you prepare to pull yourself away from her- as much as you don’t want to. “Yeah, I think so.”

“Hungover at all?”

You shake your head, only to sheepishly start nodding before rolling away from her. “My head is pounding.”

“Well, you know where the advil is,” the second grade teacher chuckles as she starts to sit up. “And I’ll make us breakfast and coffee, so hopefully the hangover lessens.”

As you get ready, neither of you speak of the events that happened last night. You quietly note that you’re surprised Jacob didn’t make his way back to the apartment last night, but that’s really all the two of you talk about. And then you’re off to Abbott in your car, while she follows behind in her own.

At school, you don’t settle in next to the redhead like you usually would for the morning news. Instead, you make up a lame excuse about having to do work in your classroom. You don’t even take the offered second cup of coffee from your coworker. You have to start distancing yourself if you’re going to survive working at her while she starts dating again.

During lunch, you make your way into the staff room quietly and grab your meal from the refrigerator before trying to make your way out relatively unnoticed. It doesn’t work. Of course, Melissa wants you to sit with her like you usually do.

“I- I think I need some peace and quiet,” you offer meekly. “But thanks.”

You’re out the door by the time Melissa is huffing about your actions. “Girl damn near lost her mind, I swear.”

It’s towards the end of the day when Janine approaches you.

“Janine, I really can’t today if you’re going to try to rope me into ‘saving the school’ again,” you sigh as you begin to gather your things in your arms. 

“It’s nothing like that,” the energetic woman tells you quickly. “I’ve been trying to get ahold of you all day.”

“Didn’t really look at my phone today,” you grumble.

“Well, I wish you would’ve. I know you have nothing to do after school today, so… my friend got back to me. You have a date tonight.”

“I’m not going on a-”

“Yes, you are,” Janine tells you in a strict, out of character, tone. “Be at The Dandelion at six.”

“Janine,” you groan. “I just want to-”

“You’ll be at The Dandelion, or my friend is going to be really pissed with me. Please.”

“Why should I?”

“Because,” the short woman struggles to come up with an answer on the fly. “Because you’ve been single for so long, and with everyone else getting back out there again… it might be good for you. C’mon, just one date. That’s all my friend is asking for- and then… if you don’t like it, you don’t have to do it again.”

“Fine.”

Janine squeals happily. “My friend will be in a green shirt tonight, so keep an eye out.” The second grade teacher knows what Melissa will be wearing because that was the topic of the staff room today at lunch, which you were not at.

You’re absolutely dreading this. You do not want to be at The Dandelion to go on a date with one of Janine’s friends. And yet, you still find yourself changing into a pair of jeans and a nicer shirt to go to dinner.

Upon your arrival, you survey the area, only to discover that you’re there before your mystery person in green. You find a seat at the bar and sigh, ordering a glass of wine.

About five minutes later, you see someone in green walk in, but they look oddly familiar. It- It’s Melissa. Fuck. She too surveys the area, clearly looking for her date. The redhead has no such luck, but she does lock eyes with you and give a small wave before making her way over.

“What are you doing here?” she asks quietly. “Come to spy on my date?”

You take a sip of your wine. “Actually, Janine set me up on a date, but they aren’t here yet.”

Melissa hums indifferently. “Neither is my date. What do you say we just wait together here?”

Not necessarily knowing how to reject her offer, you nod and pull out the stool next to you for her to sit on. She too orders a glass of wine, and once she’s served, she looks at you.

“So, we gonna talk about why you pulled away from all of us today at school?”

You blow out a breath. “I had some things to do in my classroom.” You can tell those green eyes boring into your soul don’t believe you, so you attempt to change the subject. “How were the kids today for you?”

By 6:25, neither of your dates have shown. The two of you are sitting together quietly nursing your wine and still looking around.

When the time hits 6:30, you sigh. “Do you think they’re going to show?”

The redhead glances down at her watch. “Half an hour late, and still not here? I doubt it.”

“What the fuck?” you groan. “I’m going to kill Janine.”

“Barb ain’t gettin any of my meatballs any time soon,” your coworker grumbles as she pulls out her phone.

You dial Janine, fully intending on giving her a piece of your mind. She picks up after two rings.

“Hey! How’s it going?” she answers as cheerily as she always does.

“Your stupid friend never showed up,” you grit out.

You can practically see the face Janine makes as she gasps out a, “What? No, they did!”

“No they didn’t!” you hiss into the phone. “I’ve been sitting here for the last half an hour waiting for someone in green to show up, and no one has!”

“No, my friend definitely showed up, I know it.”

At the same time, Melissa is on the phone with Barbara.

“Barb, your friend never showed! I’ve been sitting here with Y/N for the last half hour waiting.”

“My friend definitely did show,” Barbara’s voice is calm and steady as always.

It takes the two of you a few seconds to let their words sink in before you realize you’ve been played.

“You set us up,” both you and Melissa hiss into the phones at the same time.

Only then do both of your coworker step out of a booth with smiles on their faces. “Maybe.” They both hang up, wave to you with shit eating grins, and then head out of the restaurant together. 

Slowly, you turn to Melissa with wide eyes. She does the same.

“So, you’re my date?” she asks you.

“You’re mine?” you stammer out. “But I-”

“Those two are going to get it tomorrow.”

You let out a nervous chuckle as you tuck a few locks of hair behind your ear. “Yeah. They are.”

“Well,” the redhead sighs. “I guess we should get a table and have dinner.”

“You- you want to go on this date with me?” you fumble over your words. At her nod, you blush, but the smile that washes over your face is genuine and radiant.

Dinner is nice- it’s… it’s different than the other meals the two of you have shared in the past though. Conversation flows easily between the two of you as it usually does, before she takes a deep breath.

“Y/N, we should… we should talk about this.”

Her tone tells you that she’s not interested in the slightest, and you grimace. “I can just… I can just go.” You go to grab your handbag, but a hand stops you as fingers wrap around your wrist.

“I didn’t mean that,” she rolls her eyes. She tugs you in close, and her lips meet yours softly for the first time.

Your eyes go wide as you realize that the woman of your dreams is sitting here kissing you before you reciprocate. And… wow. 

“Y-you-” you stammer out once you’ve pulled away.

She just chuckles and kisses you again. Mumbled against your lips are the words, “I’m glad you’re my date, and not someone else.”

All you can do is smile. Once you pull away, you tell her, “I am too. I was not looking forward to going out with one of Janine’s friends.”

“I mean,” Melissa nudges you. “You kind of are going out with one of her friend’s right now.”

You shrug. “I guess she didn’t lie when she told me I was meeting her friend. I just… didn’t expect it to be you.”

“I didn’t expect you to be Barb’s friend either, hun,” your coworker teases you.

That night, you end up back at her place, and unlike last night where the two of you were just pretending to hold and be held as more than just a friend, it’s real. You are more than friend’s now- doing what lovers do. It’s soft, it’s sweet, it’s domestic, it’s warm… it’s everything you could’ve dreamed of when it comes to Melissa.

Your hand is laced in hers as you walk into the staff room the next morning, and Barbara and Janine look rather content with the charade that they had pulled off the night before. It’s clear to you that the others are aware of the situation before them, as Jacob can only grin and fist pump somewhat discretely.

“You still ain’t getting my meatballs anytime soon,” Melissa grumbles at her work wife as she makes her way over to the coffee machine.

“Well worth it, Melissa dear,” the kindergarten teacher chuckles into her own mug. “Well worth it if it means that the two of you finally got your heads out of your asses and are together.”

TAGS: (and let me know if you want to be included!): @schemmentis @thesapphictimelady @marvel210 @itisdoctortoyousir @morgana-larkin @doesthatsuggestanythingtoyou @marvels--slut @gwennybriggs @megamultifandomtrashposts @lemz378 @http-sam @melissaschemmentisbranzino @imaginesmultifandoms @sexysapphicshopowner @lilfartbox1 @maybe-a-humanbean @imlike-so-gaydude @a-queen-and-her-throne @notinmyvocab @melanielaufeyson @dvrkhcld @cosmichymns @sasheemo @m1lflov3rrr @ricejucie

[jazziejax]

𝐀𝐛𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐭 𝐄𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐲

𝐌𝐬.𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥

Pairings- Black!OC x Abbott Elementary Cast, later Black!OC x Manny (Can be read as x Reader though!)

Summary- Pilot Episode Experience with Naoya Lovel

Warnings- Swearing, kids, mixed race reader( those aren’t warnings really, just what to expect)

Jazzie’sNotes!- let me know what you guys think!! I’ve been really obsessed with Abbott Elementary recently and I’m contemplating if I want to write S1&S2 just to get to the Manny season. I want to get there fast but I know what won’t be possible with two seasons worth of writing. Let me know what you guys think I should do.

Word Count- 6,358

“Okay, so you wouldn't put the number on the bottom because that's what?” The older woman asked, drawing out her words as she stood in front of her fourth-grade class, pointing at the whiteboard behind her with her yardstick.

“The denominator.” The class answered.

“Correct, and what do we call the one on top?”

“The numerator.”

“Yes! You guys are killing this lesson.” She smiled as she placed her hands on her hips. She caught the camera crew in the corner of her eyes and then turned to them. “Or should I say I’m killing this lesson?” She smirked, flipping her hair over her shoulder as she posed. It was silent for a moment as they all watched her just smile.

“Wouldn’t you agree?” She’s asked, looking at one of the guys behind the camera. He nodded, moving the camera along with him, causing her to smile and adjust her glasses. “Why, thank you.”

“Hello! My name is Naoya Lovel. Pronounced Now-Ya, it’s Japanese because I’m half Japanese. Don’t ask why I’m half Japanese in Philly, it’s a long story.” She sighed as she shook her head.

“Well, actually, let me tell you the story because it’s actually kind of crazy.” She chuckled, starting to explain, but it then cut to another clip of her in the class.

“Ms.Lovel, we ran out of paper towels.” A student said, standing in front of her desk with paint on the palms of his hands. Noaya looked up, at him, a slight frown on her face. “Ohh, okay, well I have some in my desk.” She started, pulling open her desk drawer. The camera angled down to catch the empty towel box staring back at her. She smirked up at them awkwardly and shrugged her shoulders. “What, I have a constant runny nose.”

“As a teacher, you teach kids how to solve problems while solving your own. In your personal life and at school. And in this school, there are a lot.”

“Ms.Lovel, I need paper towels too.” Another student said, showing her blue and pink palms to her teacher. Noaya then stood from her seat, looking around her room. “Okay, okay class. Give me one sec.” She said, nervously looking around her room to solve her paper towel problem. She the. Saw a stray beach towel near the window on her small bookshelf. “Oh! Here we are, guys.” She said, rushing over to the towel and snatching it up.

“This could be a lesson too.” She smiled excitedly and grabbed a pair of large scissors from her desk. “I probably shouldn’t have these just sitting out.” She mumbled to herself, giving the camera a sideways glance. “So class, this is going to be a hands-on moment. If there are almost thirty of you, how many pieces would I need to cut this into for you guys to share?” She asked, looking at all of them. There was a moment before anyone said anything, the kids thinking over their answer. Then, some of their hands shot up. Naoya flashed the cameras behind her a quick smile before turning back to the kids.

“Noaya, Jacob, and I came in last year with 20 other teachers. We’re three of the four left so…trauma bonding, I guess?” Janine said, in regards to the other girl.

“Yeah, I taught for two years before I got here, I transferred from Addington to here because those people are a bunch of stuck-up freaks who are just in it for a little extra on their check.” She said with a smirk. “And that’s not what I’m here for, I’m here to change lives.” She boated, folding her arms.



“Hey, Melissa, can you please tell “Ta-Nehisi Quotes” here that “white boy” is a term of endearment from the corner store people?” Janie said as she walked into the break room on the second floor.

“Ooh, cheese steaks?” Naoya questioned as she looked up from her papers, knowing the full situation after only hearing the words ‘white boy’ and ‘corner store’.”

“For Zach Ertz, yeah.” Melissa started, turning around with a fresh cup of coffee in her hands. “For him. It’s an insult.” She smirked, then paused at the sight of the cameras in her face.

“Well, you guys, I need a new rug. Mine is officially done.” Janie said.” Coming take a seat right next to the working woman.

“Mhmm! Me too.” Jacob started, taking a seat on the other side of her. “I shook mine out and all the asthma kids had to go to the nurse's office.” This conversation caused her to raise her head, placing her work aside and adjusting her glasses as she listened.

“Yeah, mine’s busted.” Melissa started. “And you can’t class up a rug like you can a couch with a nice coat of plastic.”

“You guys have rugs? All we have is a little mat.” Naoya started, looking between all of them. They all cringed at her words, but couldn’t say more before someone’s loud voice cut through the air.

“Hey-yo! What it does, baby-boo?” Ava yelled as she walked into the break room and over to where they were sitting. “What yall think about this little film crew I bought in here.”

“Distracting makes our jobs harder,” Melissa said disinterestedly, shooting the crew a glare.

“I wish I would have known this was going to be a video thing, I would have made myself look better,” Naoya mumbled, causing the camera to turn her way. She smiled, making her face appear happier than usual.

“But exciting. We about to be on TV.” Ava said, looking between them all.

“Because they are covering underfunded, loosely managed, public schools in America.” Barbra interrupted in a matter-of-fact tone.

“No press is bad press, Barb.” Ava practically disregarded the woman’s claim, continuing to smile at the camera. “Look at Mel Gibson. Still thriving.” She laughed. “ “Daddy’s Home 2”? Hilarious!” She looked around the room, either expecting people to laugh with or or just so confined in her large ego that she didn’t care if they laughed or not.

“Ava’s the worst person I know,” Noaya stated. “I’ve never seen her show an ounce of care about anything other than money. Which is a terrible mindset to have as a principal because you’re literally in the brokeest position of power.”

“There you are.” Ms.Schwartz sighed as she rushed into the room, spotting Ava. “Ava, can I talk to you?” The woman was out of breath as she stood before the principal, and her attire was disheveled. “I-I need an aid. I’m outnumbered there. The kids are crazy.” She ranted this wild look in her eyes. “One of the kids told me to ‘mind my six’ this morning, I don’t know what that means! I need help!” She ranted. Ava placed and hand on her shoulder.

“Calm down.” The darker woman said, cutting Ms. Schwartz off. “They’re just kids. And, besides, aids cost money, and we don’t have that.” She said before flashing a quick smile at the cameras. “Right, but I just—” Ms. Schwartz started again.

“Do you want to split your salary with somebody else?” Ava asked, leaning closer and angling both of them away from the cameras.

“No.” The other woman said dejected.

“No!” Ava cut her off before she could continue to rant. “No, I didn’t think so.”

“Well, if we can’t get aides, maybe we can get new rugs?” Janine chimed up, standing from her seat.

“All I’m hearing is “new, new, new, need, need, need,” Ava answered. “And yet, Barb, one of our best and most senior teachers here.” She continued, walking over to the older woman who sat at the table with Melissa and drank her coffee. “She never complains. What is your secret, Barb?”

“Knowing there’s not much you can do, Ava.” The woman said with a sarcastic smile. But Ava didn’t care to hear her condescending tone.

“So understanding.” The principal smiled, looking around the room. “Be like Ms.Howard, people.” That was all she said before she left the room.

Noaya shook her head as she started to collect her things, knowing the bell would be ringing anytime soon.

“But, I’m not Ms.Howard.” Ms.Schwartz cried from where she stood.

“Ohh, Tina, look.” Janine started, walking over to the stressed woman. “Try some counting exercises, between one and forty the kids start to quiet down.” The other woman gave a slight nod before she exited the room, still in obvious distress. “You, know, a little support might help make things happen, ladies,” Janie said, turning around to face the older two women in the room.

“My support was gonna do about as much as that five-year-old bra you’ve got on right there,” Barbra said as she pushed in her chair. The camera then cuts to Naoya staring at the camera, her jaw clenched. Janine looked down at her chest for a slip second, before covering it up with her sweater and deciding to ignore the woman’s bra statement. “Hey, it’s not impossible to get things. Melissa asked for those new toy cash registers for her classroom and got them.”

“Yeah, those aren’t toys.” The Italian woman stared as she put on her coat. “I know a guy who wired a Walmart demolition. I got a guy for everything. I know a guy right now working on the stadium build. Need rebar?” She asked, looking around the room.

Noya just shook her head.

“No,” Janine answered.

“Melissa is resourceful, capable.” Ms. Howard started, looking between all the younger teachers. Naoya’shead jerked back at what she was insinuating but before she could say anything, Janine placed a hand on her shoulder and started talking.

“Well, I think the younger teachers are capable.”

“Really? Then why is it that Ms.Schwartz’s hair is falling out? Why does Jacob here need a smoking break every five minutes?” The woman sassed, gesturing over to the male beside her.

“I switched to an herbal vape.” He tried to defend himself.

“And why can’t any of you stick it out longer than two years? More turnovers than a bakery.” She hissed before her and Melissa walked out of the door. Once it shut behind them, Naoya turned to her friends beside her.

“I almost lose my job every day dealing with the people here.” She shook her head, resting her butt on the table behind her, the other two following suit.

“You know what? Hell, I think we should still try for rugs.” Jacob’s said.

“Yeah.” Janine agreed.

“You know, before I taught here, I was in Zimbabwe.” Jacob started, causing Noaya to stand up completely and begin to walk to the door. “I was going Teachers Without Boarders, and what I learned—.”

“Jacob.” Noaya cut in, turning to face the two of them. “What did we say you about, like, not talking about your time in Africa?” She said, gesturing between her and Janine. The boy stuttered, trying to come up with an appropriate answer.

“We told you to stop. Yeah, it’s weird.” Janine finished, looking over at the male.

“I have an immense amount of respect for my elders, including the ones I work with.” Naoya smiled at the cameras. “But Mrs.Howard has a smart mouth on her. A mouth that has never been directed at me.” She continued to smile, although strained, and raised her hands in mock defense. “But the day it is the day I got to prison.” And although she was finished, she was cut off by the sound of quick hurried footsteps making their way around the corner. She turned around just in time to catch Janine with a student.

“Noaya, come quick, there’s a fight.” The older woman got out as best as she could, although out of breath. Naoya ran around the corner, practically leaving the child and shirt woman in the dust.

“Damn, she’s fast,” Janine said, briefing glancing at the kids next to her before rushing to follow the running woman.

“What the hell is going on here?” Naoya yelled as she entered the hectic scene with a bat in her hands. She saw the crazed look the teachers were giving her and she shrugged. “I heard there was a fight, I brought it just in case.”

“Where did you get that? I was right behind you.” Janie asked, out of breath with her hands on her knees.

“I didn’t know she had it in her like that.” Melissa nodded a proud smirk on her lips. “I like her.”

“That’s beside the point, what happened?” Naoya asked, looking at the older white woman standing in front of a child. “He hit me first!” Ms.Schwartz said, pointing at the boy across from her.

“Liar!” The boy yelled back at her, being held back by Ms.Howard.

“I’m a liar? I'M A LIAR?” Ms.Schwartz asked a crazed look in her eyes, her gaze solely trained on the little boy.

“I can’t believe she hit a kid,” Noaya said, shock written all over her face as she folded her arms. “I mean, I threaten that I will but I never actually do it.” She shrugged.

“Okay!” Ava yelled, interrupting the conversation between the small group of teachers. “So, not good. Ms.Schwartz was out of line and clearly didn’t know how to handle her class.” The woman sighed.

“You hired her.” Melissa spat back.

“And fired her,” Ava responded. “They give me a lot of power around here. It’s crazy.” The woman smirked.

Melissa and Noaya both gave the camera a look of disbelief.

“In the meantime, Mr.Johnson will be watching her class.” Ava finished.

“Mr.Johnson the janitor?” Naoya spoke up. “Our conspiracy theorist janitor? Teaching social studies? Do we not see the problem with this?” She asked, looking around at the group.

“I think maybe we should alert the school district to this,” Jacob spoke up, getting spins of approval from the rest. “I mean, a child was harmed.” He tried to finish before Ava cut in.

“Hey! Harmed?” She questioned. “I handled this. No need to let them know that a child was harmed on my wa—” She stopped, remembering that she was being recorded, and looked towards the camera. “On the school's watch, to be clear.” She clarified.

“Ava, this is not handled,” Janine spoke up. “There is a 70-year-old custodian who voted for Kanye teaching social studies right now.” The woman stressed, pointing down the hall. “We need help. Look, I know we don’t have any money—“

“Okay!” Ava cut her off. “Alright. I’ll make a small emergency budget request to the district, and then you guys can get pencils and hire aides or whatever else you need.”

“So, even rugs?” Janine asked her entire demeanor from earlier changing at the woman’s words.

“Sure! Just email a request.” Ava replied.

“Okay! I can- I can write an email.” Janine smiled excitedly.”

“Another day in principal life.” Ava smiled at the cameras before walking away, horribly singing some old song. “I believe the children are our future.”

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“Um…Hello?” An unfamiliar voice called out as she came into the school building, making their way to stand in front of the desk. “I’m looking for Ms.Coleman.” The man said. Melissa looked up at him. “Oh, yeah she’s—“ She was cut off by Ava rushing up next to her.

“Hello.” Again said flirtatiously, looking the man up and down.

“Hi, I’m Gregory Eddie. I’m the sun for the teacher who, uh…” He trailed off, looking down at the papers he pulled from his briefcase. “Pinter a student.” The man said worriedly, looking back up at her.

“Oh! You’re the sub.” Ava said. “Forgive me, I thought one of my colleagues here hired a stripper for me.” Ava laughed off, dismissing the looks Melissa and Barbra gave her. “Okay.” That was all Gregory could say to that, giving the woman obvious judgmental looks.

“Nice to meet you, young man.” Barbra offered him a kind smile.

“Yeah, nice to meet you, Ryan,” Melissa said, staring at the together papers.

“It’s Gregory.”

“Eh, let’s see how long you’ll be here.” She said, only flexing up after she was done stapling. “Then I’ll remember your name. Okay, Tim?”

Gregory didn’t even have time to fully digest the interactions he just had with the women before him before Jacob came around the corner. “Yes!” He smiled, stalking up to the man. “My dude.” He said, arms open for some sort of hug but was cut short by Gregory putting his hand out. “Oh, yeah,” Jacob said, placing his hand on the one offered out to him. “Keeping it profesh. I like that.” He smiled, leaning against the counter. “I’m Jacob. It’s nice to see another male teacher in here. It’s not a lot of us. Hey, now I got somebody to talk sports with. You like women’s tennis?” The paler man asked, before shooting the camera a sideways glance. “Or, as I call it, you know, regular tennis.”

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Naoya was walking the halls, whistling a tune with her bad over her shoulders when she came across a tall, good-looking man in a gray sweater. Hearing her, the man turned around to see a tall, light-skinned woman with a large, light brown puff ponytail at the back of her head. She had on specs that covered most of her face, enlarging her eyes. She was dressed in a slightly baggy pair of dark wash denim jeans with brown shoes that matched the brown in her green sweater, paired with a white shirt underneath. Seeing the mysterious man, she furrowed her brows at him from down the hall.

“Uh, hello.” The man waved awkwardly from down the hall.

Naoya waved back as she made her way closer to the man. “Uh, hi. Are you lost?” She asked, slowing down when she got in front of him. “In a school building?…And smelling like pee and/or vomit. I’m calling security.” She started to back up and pull out her phone, or even yell before she stopped and frowned. “Oh wait, I am security.” She said, moving her bat to her good hand getting ready to swing.

“Wait!” The man yelled, sticking out his hands in defense. “I’m a sub! I’m here to fill in for the woman who kicked the kid.” He defended.

Naoya visibly relaxed as she looked the man up and down, taking in his formal attire. “Okay.” She said, dropping her defensive pose. “That still doesn’t explain the smell.” She said, giving the man a disgusted once over. Gregory stuttered to get an answer, embarrassed by the cameras and such an awkward situation in front of another beautiful woman.

“It’s a long story. A broken toilet, a student wet his pants, another one threw up.” The man shrugged, a look of disgust crossing his face as he thought it all over. At his words, Noaya nodded with a look of understanding.

“No, yeah. I get it. Well, um, congratulations on being here considering…” She trailed off, gesturing around the school and then to him. “If you need anything at all, I’m at the very end of the hall. I'm Naoya Lovel, and I teach fourth grade. I’ll be here to help any way I can, I am known for having everything anyone might ever need, so.” She shrugged and began walking away, pat him, and to her class. The man nodded, a sliver of a smile on his face as his eyes stayed trained on the spot she just left. Catching the camera out of the corner of his eye, she quickly straightened up and then turned the opposite way to face her. “May I ask why you’re carrying a bat?” He asked.

Naoya stopped walking, the bad still in her hand as she angled her body slightly to look back at him. “No, you may not.” She said with a smile before continuing to walk away and into her classroom. Gregory just nodded and walked into his room as well.

“Today was utterly disgusting, but she and Janine seem nice.” He smiled slightly.

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“I got a good feeling about this,” Jacob smirked at Naoya and Janine as they and the rest of the teachers gathered outside at the entrance of the school. It had something to do with Ava needing them to see the improvements she made to the school. “Right? Me too!” Janine said excitedly. Naoya rolled her eyes, stuffing her hands in her pockets due to the cold weather.

“I wish I could live in the blissful ignorance you guys call optimism.” She said, looking between her two friends. They only rolled their eyes at the girl, who was usually a pessimistic person, so they didn’t take her words too seriously.

“Good morning!” Ava said to all the teachers before her, who were obviously in no good mood. “Good Morning!” Janine was the only one to respond.

“Gregory.” Ava finished, giving the man a look. Noaya furrowed her brows slightly, throwing the man a sideways glance.

“The district was so moved by my plea that they approved the emergency budget and sent us the money right away,” Ava said to the group. The crowd started clapping, Jacob and Janine were genuinely happy while most were in shock that the district pulled through.

“Okay, we could have hired aides, we could have got rugs.” Ava continued as the clapping died down. “But then I thought, “No. We need something more immediate.” She said, her words causing Naoya to nod her head as she began slowly making her way away from the group. She knew this wasn’t going to end well, and this was her stopping herself from throwing her loafers at Ava’s head.

“Oh, no, no. The rugs are immediate.” Janie spoke up. “They’re like instant Xanax for kids. I explained it all in my email.” She told the group as she made her way to extract her phone from her purse.

“Girl, who told you to send an email?” Ava asked, looking down the steps at the shorter woman. Jannie stopped what she was doing and glared at Ava. “You did.” She hissed, looking at her confused.

“Anyways, I always feel better when I get my hair done.” Ava continued, not caring for what Janine had to say, as she showed off her new blonde number. “Thus, I do better work, like I’m doing now.” She smiled at them. “You know, fix the outside, the inside takes care of itself.” She then gestured up to the giant tarp over the building, the man pulling it down to show a sign.

It was a giant Willard R. Abbott Elementary sign with Ava on it, leaning onto the letters. The teachers just stood there and looked up at the sign, no words were said between any of them. But they all had the same thought.

What the fuck?

“Yall seeing this?” Ava asked, copying her pose that was on the sign.

“A plastic sign?” Janine asked, looking between the woman and the sign.

“Thank God for the school district, because they gave us $3,000 and I had to spend all of it.” Ava said as if she didn’t care about the severity of the words she just said.

“You spent all of the money on this?!” Janie asked in disbelief.

“Rush job, can you believe this quality?” The terrible principal continued.

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“This is fucking ridiculous, she has gone too far,” Naoya said as she, Jacob, Janine, and Gregory rushed back into the school.

“Somebody needs to do something before I get my bat back out. Actually, Forget the bat, I’m gonna go get a gu—.”

“Okay! Yes.” Jacob cut her off, trying to ignore the scared look Noaya received from Janine and Gregory, while she just continued to sit in her anger, not even seeing them. “Somebody, anybody but you, should do something.” The man said to the angry woman.

“You know what. I’m gonna do something.” Janine said, as stored up and Naoya. Well, maybe not as much but still fired up.

“Okay, alright. Whatever you do, I will co-sign it.” Jacob encouraged. “Yes!” Janine said. “That is how change works. Someone does something and somebody co-signs it.” He finished.

“I want Jannie to succeed in what her plan is because Ava needs to be out in her place, “professionally”, or whatever Jacob said,” Naoya stated, rolling her eyes. “But I also want her to prove something to Barb. For her sake. Because Janine really needs a mother figure in her life and the constant groveling for Barb’s praise is starting to make me want to choke.” She finished with a shrug. “That’s my girl though, I love her.”

“Hey, you two, wait up! I’m going out to lunch too.” Janie called out to Melissa and Bard as they walked down the hall. The camera caught Naoya, who rolled her eyes at the situation she was just talking about making an appearance as she walked after Janine.

“Oh yeah, where are you going for lunch pip-squeak? Bird feeder?” Melissa joked, putting her purse over her shoulder.

“Thought you’d be working on your next miracle from Saint Ava.” Barbra pushed.

“Ha ha, No.” The shorter woman defended herself. “I don’t think I’ll need anything from Ava ever again.” Janine smiled, her words causing the other three women to look confused.

“What does that mean?” Naoya chimed in from behind them, ready to go out for lunch as well.

“Well, I emailed the superintendent and told him everything Ava has done today. No way she doesn’t get fired.” Janie bragged.

“Oh, for the lives of God.” Melissa groaned.

“Janine,” Noaya said in disappointment. “This is why I told you to tell me.”

“What?” She asked, looking between the three women.

“The superintendent never sees our emails,” Barbra told her. “He has them bounced back to the person in charge of where they came from.”

“Wait, I’m sorry.” Janie stared. “Person in charge? That means the emails go back to…” She trailed off, the dots connecting. Just in time for said person to come in the intercom with an announcement.

“Teachers, it’s come to my attention that some of you—one of you—.” Ava clarified, looking through the glass of her office at the group of women standing at the door, her eyes trained on one in particular. “Think it’s okay to go over my head. So, during lunch break—this lunch break—we’ll be having a trait workshop so that we can learn how to become a woke family.” The woman was clearly pissed off, glaring at Janine from where she sat. “It’s gonna be fun!”

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“We are at a crossroads, this is a crisis,” Ava stressed as she stood before the hired group of teachers.

“No, a crisis is eating the cafeteria pizza for lunch.” Naoya chimed in from where she sat in the back.

“Uh, why are we here, exactly?” Gregory asked his seat right in front of hers.

“Well, chocolate drop.” Ava started, causing Naoya to snicker at the name. “I learned that someone here doesn’t respect me. But it’s not about me. Because if you don’t respect me, how can you respect this school?” She continued, causing them all to look at her confused as such a stupid correlation. But, it looks like Ava took that as a look of confusion due to her question.

“You can’t. It’s mathematically impossible.” She finished.

“W-Whoa. Who doesn’t respect you, Ava—I mean, the school?” Jacob asked.

“Me,” Naoya said but seemed to be completely ignored.

“It’s not important. We’re gonna make this a group matter so as too not to single any one person out.” The woman answered him. “Let’s try an excuse where we say whatever we want out loud to each other, no matter how critical. It’ll be fun, let’s start with Janine.” She said, looking over at the short woman who was practically shrinking in on herself.

“Janine?” She asked, smirking evilly.

“Yes?” Janine asked dejectedly, knowing that this whole situation was her fault and knowing that Ava did the exact thing she said she didn’t want to. Single her out.

“You’re pushy, squeaky and annoying,” Ava stated.

Collective disagreement was heated around the room.

“Excuse me?” Melissa piped up.

“Thaya just…” Gregory said.

“When is it my turn?” Naoya asked, starting to take her earring out of her ear.

“No, it’s not bad. No.” Ava defended. “We’re shaking to make us all better. Constructive. Hershey kiss, why don’t you try, start with Janine.” She pushed.

“I don’t want to.” The man sighed.

“You’re right, it should be someone who knows her better. Noaya, Jacob, Barbra?” She asked, looking between the two.

“When is it your turn? I wanna go when it’s your turn.” Naoya stated, folding her arms to keep herself at bay. Gregory glanced back, seeing the look of pure hatred on her face.

“Well, her hair is—“ Jacob started before getting cut off.

“Not!” Noaya and Barba said at the same time, the younger more so talking to her friend next to Janine, who gave the man next to her a look of disbelief.

“Ava, no one’s doing this to anyone.” Melissa started, looking at the woman before her.

“Hold on, I came prepared for this. Sheena, come on in.” Ava said, looking behind her to a student who was sitting behind the library desk.

“Ava, that is my student, she should be at lunch right now,” Janine complained, as everyone in the room looked at the little girl, trying to see what Ava's plan was.

“I am kinda hungry.” The little girl sighed, begrudgingly walking closer to the woman.

“Sheena, remember what we talked about? What was the thing that you wished was different about Ms.Teagues?” Ava asked the little girl. She just stood there, not knowing what to say as the whole room waited on her.

“She got some big feet.” Mr.Johnson chimed in from the very back of the children’s library where he was sweeping.

“Okay.” Janine sighed before standing from her seat. “Everyone, that’s enough. I am the person who disrespected Ava. I emailed the superintendent to tell him that she spent the school's money on a sign.”

“And got her hair done,” Naoya said, Janine, gesturing over to her in agreement.

“I’m sorry, Ava.” She continued. “And I’m sorry everyone missed lunch, especially you, Sheena. But I didn’t it because I care about the kids in this school, and that shouldn’t be a bad thing.” She ranted. “I—Okay. You know what.” She sighed, done talking. She felt as if no one was listening anyway and just wanted to leave. She was on her way out before turning back around. “Sheena, you should have this. I’m sorry.” She said, handing the school pizza over to the girl.

“Uh, no thank you.” The girl said, shaking her head. Janine just sighed again and turned to leave.

Ava chuckled as she watched the girl walk off, shaking her head. “Not a compelling speaker.” She smirked as she shook her head. “Charisma vacuum, am I right?”

Noaya cracked her neck as she stood up. The teachers in front of her filmed a little at the sound and her sudden movements. But she ignored that. “You know what, Ava? I was going to whoop your ass in the parking lot, and as much satisfaction as that would bring me, I don’t want to lose my job. Because I care about these kids. Just like Janine. And she may be a lot of things, like naive, a bit clingy and too cheerful—.”

“Ooh, this is good stuff, let me call her back in here,” Ava smirked as if she didn’t hear the first part of the girls’ speech.

“But she is also right.” Barba cut in, standing up with Naoya. “You know, actually wanting to help the children at this school shouldn’t be a bag thing.” The older woman finished for her. Afterwards, both her and Naoya walked out, letting Ava sit with their words.

They walked out to find the girl in front of her classroom, looking through the window. “Janine, ignore Ava. Big feet are a sign of fertility.” Barbra stated.

“I’m telling you to just give me the signal, I can have her framed for mur—something.” The light skinned girl said, catching herself in front of the cameras.

“Every lunch period, guys.” Was all Janine said before stepping out of their way to show the inside of her class. They both looked in seeing a little boy napping on his jacket, as the library door sounded again. “Every single one, Amir comes and naps in the rug.” She said, informing the whole group as Melissa, Jacob and Gregory joined.

“Mm-hmm. He was in my class.” Barbra said with a fond smile on her face. Mom’s got a lot of kids. Dad’s not around and when she is, the parents fight.”

“Right, so he doesn’t get much sleep. I told him to sleep at his desk, but she says that rug is softer—.” The shirt woman paused, trying to get emotional over the whole situation. “Softer than his bed at home.” There was a moment of silence as all the adults sat with her words. It’s hard hearing about the life of the kids you see everyday, knowing they live lives no one should. And knowing it’s on you to create a better life for them at school.

“You know what? I don’t care I you think I’m good at this or not anymore. I care about whether or not I can make a change.” Janine told Barbra as sternly as she could, which wasn’t a lot.

“Janine.” The woman started. “Teachers at a school like Abbott— we have to be able to do it all. We are admin, we are social workers, we are therapists, we are second parents. Hell, sometimes we’re even first.”

“Mm-hmm.” Melissa agreed.

“Why?” Barbra continued. “It sure ain’t the money.”

“Yup. I can make more working the street, easy.” Melissa chimed in. Causing Jacob and Naoya to look at each other in concern.

“Prostitution?” She mouthed over to the man, who shrugged.

“Look, we do this ‘cause we’re supposed to.” Melissa said to Janine. “It’s a calling. You answered.”

They all looked at eachother fondly, before Jacob started.

“I believe it was Brother Cornel West—“

“No.”

“Don’t.”

“Not right now, white boy.”

They all told him, causing the man to retreat back to his corner.

“You want to know my secret?” Barbra asked, ringing the subject back to where it was. “Do everything you can for your kids.” She smiled. “We’ll help. Hey, I suggest we put our money together and buy Janine the rug.” The older woman encouraged. “What yall think?”

“Absolutely.” Melissa said, pulling out her wallet.

“Guys, you can’t.” Janine started, looking between them. “You don’t have it. I know because I have the same salary as you and I overdrafted on a doughnut hole this morning.”

“Don’t tell me how much money I have.” Noaya stated, holding her hand out as a halt to the girl's words. “I do not claim that broke energy.”

“Well, why are you gonna do?” Barbra asked. “Steal a rug?”

“Not me, but I know a guy who knows a guy?” Janie trailed off, looking between Noaya and Melissa. The light skinned girl raised her hands. “I don’t know a cute guy that can steal that many carpets that fast.” She shrugged, a hopeless look on her face as she glanced at Melissa.

“Way ahead of you.” The woman said as she started typing into her phone. “I’m gonna have to bake a ziti.” She said, holding the phone up to her ear. “Hey, Tony, ya big strung, listen, you still working that stabiuk build?” She said into the device as she walked away from the group.

Sometime later, a guys pulled up in a truck around back with a bunch of rugs for them. They all celebrated, going one by one to grab a rug. “Yay! I finally have one! My room was so depressing.” Naoya said as she waked down the hall with her rug.

“You’re on a mission.” Gregory stated, looking at the shorter girl in between him and Noaya. “It’s cool to see.”

“Thank you. Just a day in the life of being a teacher here. You get used to it.” Janine smiled.

“And that smell in the walls?” He asked, pointing.

“Oh no, you’re never gonna get used to that. Sometimes I wish I had a bad nose like Naoya.” She joked, elbowing the girl next to her. The taller woman lightly groaned. “Janine, you know that’s a big insecurity of mine. I have a fear of smelling bad.” The half Japanese girl tried to clarify to the male. “You’re subbing to go full time right?” She asked, wanting to change the subject.

“Um, we’ll see.” He said as they all briefly stopped in the hallway. “This job definitely surprises me.”

“Well, I hope you stay.” Janine said. “For the kids.” She clarified. Naoya shot a quick glacé to the camera, a small smirk on her face. She then decided to walk away. The camera caught Gregory’s eyes jumping from both women walking away, a small smile on his face. He then looked in the camera and dropped his expression.

“I’ll stick around for a while.” He said. “You know, for the kids.”

“Look guys!” Naoya said as she rolled out her shakes rug for her students. They all celebrated, clapping excitedly at the fact that they had a rug now.

“Ms.Lovel, I hate the egales.” One student said, standing next to the woman.

“Yeah, me too, kid. But don’t tell anyone I said that.” She said, patting the top of their head as Ava walked past her door. She paused at the sight of the rugs. Naoya placed her hands on her hips and cocked her neck, making Ava glare at the woman for a quick second before walking away.

“And that kids, is how you get rid of the enemy without fighting.” She said, pointing around the room to make sure they were watching. “Now that we have a rug, let’s watch that nature documentary!” She said excitedly, causing all the students to yell with excitement well.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

A-Z Sherlock Fan Fiction Tropes Bingo

Ahhh, so I saw this Fanfiction Bingo Card by @swissmissing going around, and even though I wasn't ever tagged, I wanted to do some recs of my own because, like, that's my whole brand LOL. I hope no one minds...🙃 I needed to have a list ready for this Sunday, and this was perfect, LOL.

And because I'm always trying to overachieve on these challenges, I'm going to do full black out, BOTH tropes in each square.

This will be a Combination of my read fics and "to read" fics [to fill in spaces I don't have tags for], which I will append the latter with (MFL) just like so, for those of you who only want fics I've personally read. And apologies, I had to remove some of my standard links to fit them all within Tumblr's link limits, so author names aren't clickable AND I've removed all series' links, so be sure to check out other stories by the authors!!

AND FINALLY, this is a rare list that I DON'T have in word-count order, just so y'all know! I hope you guys like the fics I've pick for y'all. Literally random picks from my lists, based on tag searches, LOL.

AU: A Further Sea by i_ship_an_armada & ShinySherlock (E, 125,492 w., 23 Ch. || Historical Pirates AU || Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Doctor John / Pirate Captain Sherlock, Sailing, UST / RST, Masturbation, Action / Adventure, Mild Angst & Peril, Romance, Shaving, Molly/Janine, Bottomlock, Hand / Blow Jobs, Past Drug Use, Slow Burn, Mild Violence, Facial Shaving, Happy Ending) – Here be a tale of adventure for both body and soul, but beware if ye be not of stout heart, for this be piratelock, ya savvy? Luckless ship's surgeon John Watson takes a chance, and finds himself eye to eye with The Ghost, the scourge of the seven seas and a definite thorn in the side of the blaggard, James Moriarty. But when John finds there's more to this most cunning pirate than be meetin' the eye, he has to choose... is it a pirate's life for him?

Amnesia: I Need You To See Me by Mssmithlove (E, 12,625 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, Amnesia, Soldier!John) – After going back to war, John is yet again invalided home, this time with a broken ankle and a chunk of his memory missing, unable to recall the last five years he's spent being Sherlock Holmes' partner and husband. Part 9 of Happiness Awaits

BDSM: Lock and Key Series by 221b_hound (E, 59,509+ w. across 14 works || Series WiP || Post-HLV, Tattoos, First Kiss/Time, Anal, Hand Jobs, Captain John, Cuddling, Sherlock's Scars, Possessive Johnlock, Exhibitionism / Voyeurism, Frottage, Blow Jobs, Masturbation, Sherlock in Panties, PWP, Dirty Talk, Sexual Fantasies, Restraints, Photographs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Light BDSM, Assorted Kinks, Sherlock in a Sheet, Sex on Furniture, Domestic Fluff) – John has been back at Baker Street for a year, following the debacle that ended in Mary's death. Things are good. Back almost to what they used to be. Sherlock might wish they were something else, now, but he only has himself to blame, he thinks. It's too late, now, for the things he first denied before he'd ruined any chances he might have had. Sherlock also thinks that people who get tattoos are idiots. But perhaps he's about to learn a thing or two, not least of which might be it's not as late as he thinks it is.

Bodyswap: Inexplicable by emmagrant01 (E, 34,664 w., 6 Ch. || Body Swap, TSo3, Magical Realism / Artifacts, Infidelity, Angst) – So what was in that matchbox, anyway? John and Sherlock find out, the hard way.

Crossover: Perdition's Flames by i_ship_an_armada (E, 63,435 w., 21 Ch. || Star Trek Fusion || Established Relationship, Genetic Engineering, Angst & Fluff, BAMF!John) – Sherlock would do anything to save him. Risk anything. Give anything. His money, his life. His soul. What he does, though, is change both of their destinies forever. Genetic re-engineering is the only option left. It turns out researchers underestimated the life expectancy and potential abilities of genetically re-engineered subjects. The British government and what would eventually become the United Federation of Planets, however, had not. Part 1 of PF Universe

Crack: Fucking Cake by Random_Nexus (E, 12,965 w., 1 Ch. || Pre-Slash, Humour/Crack, Inanimate Object Smut, Frottage, “For a Case” / “Experiment”, PWP / Kinky, Mutual Pining, Fluff) – Sherlock brings home a chocolate cake, John finds him about to have sex with said cake, then exceedingly weird hijinx ensue. Part 1 of "Fucking Baked Goods" - Sherlock BBC

Domestic: Back to the Start by slashscribe (M, 14,088 w., 1 Ch. || Sherlock’s Violin, Pining Idiots, Fluff, Domestics) – Sherlock hasn't played the violin since John's wedding (which is long since over), and when John returns to 221B, Sherlock relearns the violin as he and John relearn each other. Post S3 fic with an obscene amount of pining, idiocy, and attempts to pawn off tea duties.

Disability: Breakable by MissDavis (E, 117,627 w., 34 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Established Relationship, Major Character Injury, Fluff/Angst, Depression, Paralysis/Disabilities, Hurt/Comfort, POV Sherlock, Mental Health Issues, Drug Use, Happy-ish Ending) – After John is seriously injured, Sherlock struggles to figure out how to help him, keep himself sane, and maybe, just maybe, get their life back to the way it's supposed to be. Part 1 of Breakable Not Broken

Established Relationship: Caught In The Act Series by ShirleyCarlton (E, 9,217 w. across 7 works || Established Relationship, Unintentional Voyeurism, Alternate POVs, Humour, Blow Jobs, Walking in on Someone, Switching, Public Sex) – This is a series of six scenarios written from the points of view of six different people as they accidentally walk in on Sherlock and John having sex.

Enemies to Lovers: Synchronicity by Calais_Reno (T, 46,424 w., 10 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting || Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Case Fic, POV John, Bullying, Coming Out, Forgiveness, Drinking/Bars, Boarding School, Drunk John) – John and Sherlock meet again, years after they were school boys together. John hasn't forgotten why he still hates Sherlock Holmes. (MFL)

Future: Uncharted Territory by J_Baillier (T, 19,603 w., 4 Ch. || Dystopian Future / Black Mirror AU || Alternate First Meeting, Angst, Drama, Homophobia, Bisexuality, Technology, Humour, Romance, Near Future, Happy Ending) – The System puts people through a series of assigned relationships in order to determine who their Perfect Match is. John believes that it works; Sherlock really, really doesn't. One of them is probably going to be wrong.

Fluff: A Lifetime Together by LondonGypsy (M, 8,886 w., 1 Ch. || Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Falling in Love, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Pining Idiots, Alternating POVs, Domestics, Retirement) – John and Sherlock falling in love.

Gen: Octopus by glass_rose_paperweight (G, 705 w., 1 Ch. || Established Relationship, Fluff, Bed Sharing, Limpet Sherlock) – A week after Sherlock and John finally get together, and John is finding sharing a bed with Sherlock Holmes to be ... difficult, sometimes. If not downright suffocating.

Genderswap: Cockscomb by birdie7272 (E, 115,302 w., 32 Ch. || Femlock / Gender Swap || Light Dom / Sub, Sensual Play, Cocks, Lace, Safe Words, Pining Sherlock, Case Fic, Truth or Dare, Slow Burn, Feminism, Relationships, Sexuality Crisis, Cheating, Power Play, Manipulation, Control) – Lace, whiskey, and a case full of cocks leads to a brand new kind of adventure. AKA The One With All The Cocks… When There Are No Cocks (MFL)

Historical: Enigma by khorazir (M, 289,667 w., 23 Ch. || Codebreaker / WWII / Imitation Game-Inspired AU || Case Fic, Espionage, Period-Typical Homophobia / Sexism, Pining Sherlock, Inexperienced / Virgin Sherlock, Implied / Referenced Drug Use, Non-Graphic Violence) – It’s the autumn of 1941, war is raging in Europe, German U-boats are raiding Allied convoys in the Atlantic, the Luftwaffe is bombing English cities, and the cryptographers at Bletchley Park are working feverishly to decode their enemies' encrypted communications. One should consider this challenge and distraction enough for capricious codebreaker Sherlock Holmes. But the true enigmas are yet waiting to be deciphered: an unbreakable code, a strange murder, and the arrival of Surgeon Captain John H. Watson of the Royal Navy. (MFL)

Humour: Equine Arse Anonymity by Kayjaykayme (E, 3,834 w., 1 Ch. || Established Relationship, Public Sex, Coming in Pants, Humour, Halloween, Hand Jobs) – Sherlock needs to speak with suspects at a fancy dress ball. He chooses a couple's costume for himself and John. It is logical, practical and well thought out. John doesn't agree and exacts sweet revenge.

Illness: Only To Be With You by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (M, 40,768 w., 4 Ch. || Black Mirror / Future AU || Character Death, Future Technology, Sickness/Cancer/Illness, Heavy Angst with Happy Ending, First Person POV John, Pining John, Heart-Wrenching Angst, Promise of Forever) – I tell myself that next time I’ll come near this same place again. Wait around for the mysterious stranger in his coat to dash past me, hot on the heels of a new criminal in black. I think this all the way back to my Exit, planning where I’ll wait and what I’ll say when I see him. Scheming on how to get his name. It’s only once I reach the Exit Point door that I realize two hours and forty-five minutes have passed, and I realize that this won’t be the last time I Visit. It won’t be the last time at all.

Imprisonment: THERE BUT FOR THE GRACE OF JOHN WATSON by skyefullofstars (T, 110,758 w., 24 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, Angst, Violence, Whump, Nightmares, Murder, Drug Addiction, Torture) – While Sherlock grapples with his new-found feelings for John Watson, he faces a very real threat: John's kidnapping and shooting at the hands of James Moriarty. And the knowledge that the love of his life is being used to test an addictive drug - at the risk of John's sanity and life. Prequel to THE BOYS OF BAKER STREET. Part 1 of THERE BUT FOR THE GRACE OF JOHN WATSON

Jealousy: The High Tide Series by stardust_made (E, 15,269 w. across 3 works || OMC, Angst, Jealousy, Developing Relationship, First Time, Romance) – A little favour Sherlock stupidly agrees to do for Mycroft leads to John meeting a handsome, afluent man, who is going out of his way to woo him. Sherlock struggles with the situation and with his own reactions to it.

Jilted: Love Is Series by SilentAuror (E, 36,903 w. across 2 works || Post S3, Alternating POV Each Story, Angst, Unrequited Love, Rejection then Reconciliation, Romance, Mary Divorce, Eventual Happy Ending) – At Mrs Hudson's urging, Sherlock finally decides to tell John how he feels about him.

Kids: The Baker Street Nativity by SwissMiss (E, 99,662 w., 23 Ch. || Nativity! AU || Teacher Sherlock / TA John, Pining, Sherlock POV, UST, Angst, Christmas, Music/Song Fic, Anal / BJ’s, First Kiss / Time) –Fusion between Sherlock (BBC) and Nativity! (2009 movie starring Martin Freeman). Sherlock is a primary school teacher and John is assigned to be his classroom assistant. Together, they are charged with putting on the school's Nativity play. What could possibly go wrong? Part 1 of The Baker Street Nativity Verse

Kink: John and Sherlock's Kinky First Times Series by wendymarlowe (E, 247,051+ w. across 45 works || Series WiP || Short Stories, Assorted Tags with Assorted Genres, PWP) – A collection of short imaginings of how Sherlock and John might finally allow their relationship to become physical. Don't be afraid of the giant cloud of tags - each fic stands alone and you can read them in any order.

Long: Free Falling by twistedthicket1 (M, 203,574 w., 38 Ch. || Guardian Angels AU || Guardian Angel John, Fluff and Angst, Humour, Kidlock / Teenlock, Light Mystrade, Passage of Time, Possessive John, Drug Use / Overdose, Victor Trevor, Graphic Bullying, Big Brother Mycroft, Hard Drug Use, Depression, Possessive Sherlock, Possessive John, Panic Attacks, Nightmares/PTSD, Pining, Healing Abilities, Kidnapping, Violence, Torture, Blow Jobs, Virgin John, Emotional Development / Attachment, Mortality, Happy Ending) – All Guardian angels are born with a Chosen human. When this child is born, the angel comes into being to protect and care for them during their life on Earth. For John Watson, all he cares about in the world revolves around his Chosen, Sherlock Holmes. Watching him grow up though, the angel soon learns that God must have had a sense of humour the day he decided to make Sherlock, as trouble seems to follow him like a magnet wherever he goes. John can't decide what's worse, the idea of losing his Chosen one, or the fact that he may be breaking the most taboo law of heaven as he disguises himself as a human to better protect and befriend the beloved detective he's always watched from afar. He was meant to care for him. But what happens when caring evolves into something more? What happens when an emotion an angel is supposed to be incapable of possessing comes to life suddenly and viciously inside John's chest? 

Love Triangle: Isosceles by SilentAuror (E, 56,609 w., 7 Ch. || Post-S4, POV John, Original Male Character / Sherlock Dates Another Man, Love Triangle, Jealous John, Virgin Sherlock, Sexual Coaching, Angst, Romance, Domesticity, Unrequited Feelings, Miscommunication, First Kiss/Time, For a Case, Friends With Benefits, Bottomlock, Love Confessions, Spooning) – After solving a case for a major celebrity, Sherlock gets himself asked out. When John asks, he discovers that Sherlock has no intention of going, at least not until John agrees to coach him through whatever he might need to know for his date...

Magical Realism: The Frost Child by twistedthicket1 (M, 9,994 w., 2 Ch. || Frozen-ish AU || Magical Realism, Christmas, Angst, Fluff, Powerful John) – In a world where people are born with a Gift of varying levels, simple John Watson is the last person one might look at when thinking of any strong Magick capabilities. Hiding comfortably in the shadow of Sherlock's brilliant deducing abilities, John is content to keep it that way...

Major Character Death: I Think I've Come A Long Long Way To Sit Before You Here Today by ArwenKenobi (T, 18,251 w., 3 Ch. || Grief/Mourning, Passage of Time, Major Character Death, Alternating POV, Sherlock Whump, Pining Sherlock, Hospitalization, Coma, Revenge Murders, Hallucinations, Love Confessions, Brutal Accident, Mystrade, Ghost John) – One year after John is killed Sherlock starts to wonder whether John has actually gone anywhere.

NSFW: Caves in the Mountains Are Seldom Unoccupied by starrysummernights & TheMadKatter13 (E, 7,925 w., 1 Ch. || Were-Creatures ||  Werebear John, Pseudo Bestiality, Rimming, Dub Con, Rough Sex, Come Inflation / Eating, Size Kink, PWP, Bratty Sherlock, Rutting) – “This isn’t something to play at, Sherlock,” he snapped. “If it doesn’t work out- what you’re asking of me- we can’t shrug and say 'oh well, at least we tried'. If we do this… I could seriously hurt you. Do you understand? I could lose control. I could… I could kill you.” 

Next Gen.: If Equal Affection Cannot Be by blueink3 (E, 31,156 w., 3 Ch. || Post S4, Family, Retirement, Grown Up Rosie, Angst, Reunion, Loneliness, Sussex, Fluff, Sexy Times, Happy Ending) – Sherlock fled London a couple of years after John left him in hospital with nothing but an old walking stick and a half-hearted goodbye. Rosie grew up thinking that Sherlock died when he committed suicide in front of her father by jumping from Barts' roof. So it's somewhat awkward when they run into each other in a Sussex general store between the loaves of bread and the Mars bars... (MFL)

Omegaverse: A Fold in the Universe by darkest_bird (E, 152,869 w., 26 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Omegaverse / Prime Universe Crossover || OmegaJohn / AlphaSherlock, First Kiss / Time, Friends to Lovers, Established Relationship, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Dubious Consent, Humour) – Alpha Sherlock and Omega John are in a relationship. Prime Sherlock and Prime John are not. So what happens when a freak fold in the universe switches one John for the other?

Only One Bed: The Cure for Snoring by Goddess_of_the_Night (G, 1,278 w., 1 Ch. || Sleepy Conversations, Bed Sharing, Cuddling, Fluff, Domestic, Platonic / Sleepy Cuddles) – Sherlock and John spend the night in Scotland after finishing a case. The sole Inn in town only has one room left...one bed. This would be fine - if not a bit awkward - if Sherlock hadn't developed a habit of snoring loudly. John suffers through many hours of sleeplessness before he discovers that skin-to-skin contact stops the noise. Part 1 of Dreamscapes

Parenthood: Iris by slashscribe (E, 11,948 w., 1 Ch. || Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Post-S3) – Sherlock does his best to make John happy when John comes back to 221B with his new baby after the events of Season 3, but Sherlock has a track record of getting things wrong in this area. This story is an exploration of their gradual shift from friends to lovers, told from Sherlock's perspective, full of a lot of pining and lack of emotional awareness.

Platonic: The Green Blade by verityburns (T, 72,929 w., 15 Ch. || Case Fic, Bromance) – As a serial killer hits the headlines, the police are out of their depth and the next victim is out of time. With faith in Sherlock Holmes at an all time low, this is a case which will push loyalties to the limit...

Queer: Rupert Street by WritingOutLoud (M, 27,262 w., 9 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting || Case Fic, Sexuality, Demisexual Sherlock, Drugging, Smart John, Sherlock Has Internalized Biphobia, Fluff, Angst with Happy Ending, Gay Bar, Flirting, John Manipulates Sherlock to Eat, John Deduces, Arguments, Kidnapping/Torture, Hospitalization, John Whump) – Discharged from the war with nothing but the clothes on his back and a realisation of his bisexuality, John Watson has to learn who he’s become. He can’t afford London on an army pension, but the city is the only friend he has. In an effort to understand his newfound queer identity, he heads to a bar one night, where he stumbles across a mysterious stranger who turns his life upside down. ‘I dug around inside myself, and I'm not quite sure what I found, but it was beautiful and terrifying all at the same time.’

Quest: Licence to Kiss by fellshish (T, 13,739 w., 4 Ch. || Post-ASIB, Sort-Of Bondlock, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Mutual Pining, Angst and Humour, Bed Sharing) – Sherlock loves John, and John loves... James Bond. He only made Sherlock watch every single film. Tedious. And now John's birthday is coming up. Sherlock can't tell him how he feels, but he can organise an amazing gift: John's very own spy adventure. Sherlock begs Mycroft for a real case with some extra gadgets. And perhaps some actors pretending to be criminals. What could possibly go wrong?

Retirement: Through the Clouds by Mazarin221b (E, 20,004 w., 6 Ch. || Retirement, Sussex, Bees, Home Improvement, First Time, Romance) – Sherlock takes a remarkably early retirement at 47, and convinces John that a change of pace would do them both good. They buy an old cottage on the South Downs, and exchange their nonstop life in Baker Street for quiet contemplation, bee studies, and book writing. They might go completely insane, but sometimes it takes stepping outside of the life you're living to find the life you want. Part 1 of Through The Clouds

Road Trip: Hitting the Water at Sixty Miles an Hour by what_alchemy (E, 30,568 w., 5 Ch. || Fake Rel., Road Trips, Slow Burn, Mummy Holmes) – “You love your mother, Sherlock?” John watched the muscles in Sherlock’s jaw jump. He nodded in one sharp jerk. “Then we’re going to her party and making her happy.” John let out a resigned sigh. “As a ruddy couple, you bastard.”

Soulmates: The Heart On Your Sleeve by flawedamythyst (T, 5,441 w., 1 Ch. || Soulmate AU || Sherlock POV, Heartmarks, Pining, Fluff and Angst, Semi-S1 / S2 Canon Compliant, Reunion) – Sherlock stared at the imperfect circle on his left wrist in horror, then sat down on his bed with a bit of a thump. After over thirty years, his heartmark was finally showing activity. This was not good.

Slow Burn: Tomorrow's Song by agirlsname (M, 24,645 w., 5 Ch. || Post-TRF, POV Sherlock, Angst with a Happy Ending, Virgin / Repressed Sherlock, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Pining, Jealous Sherlock) – How can he think a relationship with me would be a good idea? I am the sort of person to take a break from my life and when I come back after two years, I expect to find it exactly as I left it. In reality I find it shattered to pieces. (I actually equate you with my life. When did I start doing that?)

Teen AU: The Sky is Full of Fiddles by agirlsname (T, 25,659 w., 6 Ch. || 1895 Teenlock || Romantic Fluff, Bed Sharing, Swedish Folk Music, Dancing, Sherlock’s Violin, Poetry, Skinny Dipping, Summer Love, First Kiss, Proposals, POV John, Gay Surprise) – It's 1895 in the heart of Swedish folk music and dance. During certain weekends, boys are allowed to visit girls at night, wooing them with fantastical poems. If a girl lets a boy into her room they can share a bed all night, fully clothed, to talk and eat caramels together. John is seventeen and looking for a girl to marry like everyone else. He's very surprised when another boy suddenly stands outside his door, wanting to share his bed… (MFL)

Time Travel: The Engine by stitchy (T, 8,294 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss, Post-HLV, ASiP Do-Over, Sci-Fi, Time Travel) – Shortly after the events of His Last Vow, Sherlock has an opportunity to revisit the night of A Study in Pink and get some perspective on the destiny of he and John's relationship.

Undercover: The Skin Over My Heart by standbygo (E, 8,849 w., 1 Ch. || Post-Hiatus, Fake Relationship, Case Fic, Dog Tags, Military, Homophobia, Gay Bashing, POV First Person Sherlock, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss / Time, Declarations of Love, Undercover, Haircuts, Flashbacks, Touching, Pining Sherlock, Hospitalization, Metaphors, Introspection, Hand Jobs, On the Couch, John’s Past, Angst with Happy Ending) – Sherlock and John are still trying to adjust to Sherlock's return from his hiatus when John's friend Bill Murray brings them a case. Someone is targeting the LGBTQA+ members of Bill's unit. John and Sherlock go undercover at the unit, but when they end up having to flirt to flush out the suspect, Sherlock realizes he's in over his head.

Unrequited: Love Is Series by SilentAuror (E, 36,903 w. across 2 works || Post S3, Alternating POV Each Story, Angst, Unrequited Love, Rejection then Reconciliation, Romance, Mary Divorce, Eventual Happy Ending) – At Mrs Hudson's urging, Sherlock finally decides to tell John how he feels about him.

Vampires: Bleed Me Out by antietamfalls (E, 87,987 w., 14 Ch. || Vampire AU || Bonding, Vampire Sherlock, Fluff & Angst, Hurt/Comfort, John Whump, Magical Realism) – John isn’t exactly surprised to discover that Sherlock isn't human. His vampirism doesn't pose a problem, even when their relationship gradually grows into something more. That is, until a deadly revelation about John’s blood sends their lives spinning dangerously out of control.

Villain POV: Genesis by pasiphile (M, 19,521 w., 1 Ch. || Graphic Violence, Moriarty’s Past) – Before he was Jim Moriarty, he was just Jimmy, a street kid with more pain in his past and more ambition in his head than he could handle, and only one other person he could bring himself to trust. Part 6 of This Life Is A Trip (When You're Psycho In Love) (MFL)

Whump: Trapped and Upside Down on the M6 by BootsnBlossoms (E, 4,256 w., 1 Ch. || Whump, Car Accident, Hurt / Comfort) – Everything felt wrong. His hair was going the wrong way. His arms were bent in ways he wouldn’t choose to bend them. His neck hurt and he couldn’t really feel his toes. Something was dripping on his face – and rolling up. A car crash. He had been in a car crash.

Werewolves: John Watson’s Moon by patternofdefiance (E, 11,314 w., 1 Ch. || Supernatural Creatures || Werewolf John, First Time, BAMF John, First Time, Anal, Fleeting Depictions of Violence) – Sherlock finds out John is a werewolf and wants to see the transformation. It, uh, gets really kinky.

Xenomorphism: Forest King by Elphen (E, 141,856 w., 27 Ch. || Magical Realism / Omegaverse AU || Mythical Creatures, Group Sex, Body Worship, Drinking / Impairment, Dubious Consent, Anal Fingering/Sex, Transformations / Shapeshifting, Mpreg, BAMF John, Possessive Sherlock, Celtic Mythology, Paganism, Sherlock’s Violin, Frottage, Illnesses, Caring Sherlock, Netherworld/Underworld, Coping Mechanisms, Paternal Lestrade, Defensive John, Big Brother Mycroft, Insecurity, Self-Esteem Issues, Misunderstandings, Mild Jealousy, Pregnant Sex, Male Lactation, Birthing, Emotional Support, Parenthood, Family History) – After falling out with his sister, John ends up in a Cornwall Midsummer’s Eve celebration in the middle of a forest that’s rather…different. After the hazy night of magic and passion with a pale-eyed man, he goes home to London. He’s in for a surprise when his stomach starts growing and buds appears on his head. Not one to just accept things, he returns to Cornwall to demand an explanation. When he meets the forest king, Sherlock, again, he has to come to terms with not only what’s happened to him but what kind of magical world he’s been thrust into. Plus, there’s the questions of whether he trusts the antlered man and how he'll survive being apparently pregnant. Sherlock isn’t much help. That doesn’t mean he isn’t trying to somehow make John understand his feelings, however, even if he’s greatly hampered by being Sherlock. They slowly move forward but problems beyond their control may arise from an act done with the best of intentions. How will they cope, separately and together? (MFL)

Xmas: Our Enthusiasms Which Cannot Always Be Explained by withoutawish (M, 32,961 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Post-TRF, Case Fic, Mild Gore, Sherlock Whump) – The list that is tacked haphazardly on the refrigerator of 221B reads, ‘Kidney(s), and/or a full cadaver (preferably male, late 30s, under six feet tall), bag of fresh toes, sixteen cow’s eyes (corneas retained), dual exhaust hand –held flame thrower, an unopened first edition copy of Joseph Conrad’s 'Heart of Darkness', and no less than ten abhorrently gruesome murders in the upcoming month.” The one neatly hanging next to it simply reads, “Sex.” One of these lists is not John Watson’s. If John Watson were to put what he really wanted in list form, to live in a land somewhere beyond ‘almosts' now that Sherlock Holmes has indeed returned to him, he would never be able to look his flatmate in the eye ever again.

Zombies: The Hollow Ones by antietamfalls (M, 100,244 w., 23 Ch. || Walking Dead Fusion || Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Slow Build, Emotional Constipation, Protective John, Hurt/Comfort) – The dead walk. Mangled corpses of the deceased rise and mindlessly feast upon the flesh of the living. John wakes up, alone and confused, into the remnants of a city gone mad. He will search for answers. He will find Sherlock at any cost. And he will learn that the living are far more dangerous than the dead. (MFL)

Zoomorphism: How to Build a Heart out of Ashes by Teumessian (E, 144,931 w., 31 Ch. || Changeling AU || Slow Burn, Drug Use, Mentions of Child Abuse / Bullying, Mentions of Student/Teacher Relations, Uni-Age) – In an AU where a small number of the population become Changelings at a young age, at 17 John Watson believes he's destined for Normal life but then the Change takes him and he is sent to the Baker Institute. There he meets Sherlock Holmes.

[ashlingiswriting]

do i know you? chapter ten

[ chapter ten — 5.5k words ] [ masterlist ] [ prev chapters: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine ] you don't open the letter. richie jerimovich x reader, past mikey berzatto x reader, slow burn

handcuffs, bus, metal detector, strip search. three pairs of socks, toothbrush, toothpaste. everything stolen by your cellmate as soon as you arrive, except what you’re wearing. entire jail segregated to hell. you claimed by the italians, who were expecting you. instructions are simple: stick to the bottom bunk, keep your mouth shut, and you’ll make it. this is jail, not prison.

nothing and no one can touch you when you’re like this, sunk deep inside yourself. your throat is still hoarse from shouting last night, but that’s incidental, not important. nothing is important.

you don’t want to be here, so you’re not. 

you’re standing on the corner with half a pack in your jacket pocket, and he’s not there—you can’t see him right now, not even in your head—but he’s on his way. the winter sinks cold so deep into you that your forehead starts to hurt. if you stand here much longer, you’re going to get a runny nose. you’re itching for a cigarette. you don’t want to smoke without him. 

a lot of people want your attention.

julie, you’ve got mail. who’s this, your man? is he trying to get you back? put a price on it, maybe you can finally get us something from commissary. 

julie, the feds are not playing around. it looks like there’s charges related to human trafficking coming down the pipeline, and they’re trying to tie you to it. i’m doing my best with your defense, but if you don’t want to cooperate, i can’t guarantee—do you hear me? 

julie, when she comes through, we’re gonna take her back here. if you see a guard coming, just keep your mouth shut and kick the dryer, okay?

a lot of people want your attention, but nobody gets it. you can survive this, put one foot in front of the other, only as long as you can stand partly sheltered by the angle of your apartment building, and listen to the wind rushing past. waiting and safe, as long as he never arrives.

the snitch gets carried out on a stretcher.

the lawyer leaves unsatisfied.

you don’t open the letter.

.

.

.

it’s much worse at night. but still, sometimes, you can sleep.

.

.

.

lunch here has a queasy familiarity. it feels like barracks or school. you sit at a long table and corresponding bench with the italians, wondering if all this sodium is gonna worsen your perpetual low-grade headache, squeezing peanut butter from its plastic packet directly into your mouth, not bothering with the bread. 

behind you, you pick out the word doctor in somebody else’s conversation. thinking that it might have something to do with you, you turn and glance over your shoulder, just in time to catch a woman saying, too loudly, no i’m fine. you think her words sound a bit slurred. you’re fifty percent sure her name is aja. 

you’re sweating, says her friend, a woman with box braids whose name you’ve never learned.  she sounds exasperated. did you take something? when she gets no answer, her voice gains a note of urgency. hey. did you take something?

aja, leaning hunched forward on the table, mumbles no.

relieved, her friend says, then just eat your lunch.

i don’t...aja blinks. goes to lift one baby carrot to her mouth, looks at it, then stops. is car warning, she explains.

in the back of your brain, something stirs.

by now, you’ve been noticed by the other women at that table, and they’re staring daggers back. they’re almost all black women, just like all the women at yours are almost all white—and your stare is violating rules more important than the law. 

beside you, your cellmate janine has caught on too. she smacks your arm a little harder than she needs to, annoyed that she has to reiterate a fundamental lesson. mind your business. but you can still hear aja muttering out a slow explanation of increasingly jumbled words, and that’s all you care to hear.

it’s like there was a heavy weighted blanket keeping you down and separate from life, and that’s suddenly lifted. you can see and hear. there are words floating to the surface, and next steps, and you’re on the move, standing up. 

every woman sitting at aja’s table is up on their feet in five seconds flat, except for aja and her friend, though the friend gives you a look that could cut glass. you can hear everyone from your table getting up behind you, too. 

what’s your problem? says one of the women standing opposite.

i’m a doctor. you’re not even looking at her, but when she says, sure you are, there’s enough menace in it to stop you in your tracks. then janine has an iron grip on your arm, trying to drag you away. it’s too late. when you said you’re a doctor, you believed it, and with that the world has come into focus with perfect clarity. the rest doesn’t matter.

is she diabetic? you say.

janine hisses in your ear stupid fucking bitch fast and low and you can see a flicker of movement to your right, another woman from your side coming for you, so you wrestle free from janine and dart a few steps forward. as quick and smooth as if you’d planned it, a woman from aja’s side steps behind you, between you and your own table. she’s taller than you by about six inches. she says, yeah, she’s diabetic. 

permission enough. you sit down on the other side of aja. up close, she’s sweating and wearing a concerned expression, like she’s forgotten where she left her phone. you can hear the guards shouting, getting closer. you ignore them.

don’t touch her, the friend snaps.

who’s gonna take her pulse, then? keeping a careful eye on the friend, you reach for aja’s arm. nobody stops you. aja herself looks at you with vague suspicion in her golden brown eyes, but she’s not all there enough to resist. once you get your fingers on her wrist and find her pulse, you don’t bother counting it for a full thirty seconds, that’s how fast her heartbeat is going. 

at this point, the outside world has gotten too loud, too insistent, and you can feel the moment about to break. 

she needs sugar now, you say to the friend. or she’ll end up in a coma.

got it, she says, and then the guards are on you. with shouts and shoves, they break up the gathering, end lunch ten minutes early. with a yank of your shirt, you’re returned to your group. 

what the fuck is wrong with you, janine hisses, but you barely hear her. you’re still thinking on your patient, trying to get a look. you think you see the friend reaching for somebody else’s tray��to get a packet of strawberry jam, maybe—but you can’t be sure.

.

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.

it makes no sense. your head throbs. if janine’s threats are even half true, you’re in for more trouble than you know how to handle, and you didn’t know how to handle your troubles before. but somehow, once you’re in the laundry room, it happens. 

you realize that you like it all. the strong smell of detergent, the sun coming in golden through the high windows built too thin for jumpers, the way you have to lean forward and really push against the weight of hundreds of t-shirts in the hamper trolley. even the finicky machine quitting mid-cycle only amuses you, because you know the trick to starting it up again: thump it in the right spot a couple times, hear it rumble back to work. it’s not until one of the guards passes by you that you hear, the fuck are you smiling about? and you realize you were smiling at all. you stop at once.

the thing is: you fucking did it. at dinner, you’ll see aja sitting at that same table, eating and talking clearly. she’ll be fine. you did that. you never thought you’d get this again, but it seems not everything is over. there is still a little life in you, enough to save hers.

not everything is over, and for once you can think about the letter tucked into your bra without it burning you. 

you don’t imagine it contains forgiveness—hope isn’t the same as delusion—but there could still be something in it that you would want to keep. richie could never respect your decision to leave. loyalty is what he’s cared about most, the one value he’s managed to cling onto by the skin of his teeth. but he might at least understand. 

times past, he has understood you far better than you expected, and strangely enough, you’ve understood him too. he might understand you now. stranger things have happened.

you won’t read the letter, of course. but you’ll keep that possibility with you, the one thing you have left to hold.

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.

.

hey doc, come here. look at this. 

janine is calling to you from across the laundry room, beckoning you towards the back corner where the security cameras don’t quite reach. you hesitate. you’re not stupid. that’s exactly the spot they once made you stand guard, and given how publicly you ignored all orders today, you wouldn’t be surprised if it was janine’s turn to stand watch and your turn to take the beating. it’s been a while since you’ve done that. you’re probably rusty. ah, fuck it.

you leave the bin of stained shirts where it is and walk over, rounding the corner to find two women waiting for you. one you recognize immediately as an enforcer, blonde and tall and glaring ferociously at you. the other, slight and silver-haired, is the leader. 

do you know why you’re here? she says. calm, even pleasant, like a schoolteacher. 

i have a guess, you say.

so the leader explains. she takes her time with it, uses so many words, but the long and short of it is: you have been living an easy life. they have been taking care of you, and you’ve repaid them with nothing but trouble. angie—the massive woman leaning on the far wall, the enforcer—burned herself today in the kitchen, on purpose, badly enough that she got sent to the infirmary. sure enough, there’s a bandage around the enforcer’s left forearm. aja was supposed to also be in the infirmary, unconscious.

why angie and aja would need to be in the infirmary together, with aja unconscious, is obvious. the leader doesn’t need to explain that part. 

interfering is a crime. interfering in someone else’s murder is a crime whose punishment you can’t afford.

i didn’t know, you say. on hearing your thin voice, you realize your mistake. times like these, you’re supposed to keep your mouth shut. matter of fact, almost always, you’re supposed to keep your mouth shut. 

i’ve been told you have a letter on you, the leader says. let me see it.

you say nothing. she motions to the enforcer.

in your second tremendously stupid choice of the day, you fight back. you duck one punch only to get your ears rung by another, square in the left eye. after that, she deals with you easily, with the advantages of height, weight, reach, and the knowledge that this might be her one chance to get you back. she hates you and she fights like it, like she might just kill you and call it an accident. it’s all you can do to keep quiet, not yell for help. 

in under a minute, she’s back to the leader with your letter in her hand, snatched from your bra. the sound of your own heavy breathing is so unsteady, it’s almost as bad as crying. your eye has already begun to swell up. 

we have a problem, the leader says. if you can’t follow the most basic instructions, how can we trust you? and if we can’t trust you, what can we do? 

in the silence, you realize: they have everything now.

you need to prove that we can trust you. you have no idea how you could possibly do that, and then she adds, tell me about what you did for linda.

this time, you think it through before you open your mouth. 

you know what she’s asking about, of course. it’s the only thing you’ve ever done for your boss’s wife directly, and you were told to keep it secret, too. an iud for her daughter-in-law, along with a fake fertility treatment. what a woman would do to convince the people closest to her that she wants children, when she doesn’t. you know what those men are like.

i don’t know what you’re talking about, you finally say. if you have a problem with linda, go settle it with her. 

the enforcer starts forward, but the leader stops her. i’ll give you the night to think about it, she says, as undisturbed as ever. but first, i want you to tell me the list of things we could do if you turn out to not be trustworthy. i need to make sure that you know.

you need to get these women away from you so badly now that it’s almost easy to talk. 

you could kill me. you say that first because you doubt they’d bother with that much effort. or make my life miserable. you could keep that letter. you could talk to your boss and work it so i get stuck in here for a ten-year stretch. 

and other than that?

i don’t know.

we could make it so you never work as a doctor again.

does she know?

her pale green eyes give nothing away, and the longer you stare at her, desperately trying to pierce her pitiless calm, the more you feel you’re only exposing yourself. eventually, you give up. it doesn’t matter if she knows. the carusos know. if they expose you, the best years of your life, spent in hard work and little else, they’ll be gone. the worst years of your life, spent in restless loneliness and little else, they’ll be gone too. if that bomb drops, there’s no point to any of it. a decade of your life, best and worst, all for nothing. every second of every day. everyone you pushed away. 

i’m in jail, you manage to say. i don’t think i’ll get work as a doctor ever again.

i’m just the messenger, the leader says. see you tomorrow.

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that night, you wait for janine to snore, then you bury your face in the pillow and discover that you’re wound too tight to even cry. the pillow smells like old socks. you turn over and stare up at the bunk bed above you instead. 

it’s not a choice, it’s just pure dread. in this place, you have nobody else. if the italians drop you, you’ll be as easily extinguished as the slugs that little boys like to sprinkle with salt, but it’ll take much longer, however long they make your sentence. your lawyer said the feds were trying to pin human trafficking on you. maybe they’ll succeed. it’s life or hell, that’s the point. life or hell isn’t a choice.

you will tell them what they want to know. they will pass it back up the chain to old caruso, who in turn will figure out that alessandra has been fooling him all along with that combination of iud and fake fertility treatment. wronged the family, in his eyes. maybe, given the raid that came not long after, it will be considered a sign that she knew the end was coming and helped it along.

maybe she did snitch. you don’t know. does the truth matter? this man looked at his own wounded son and said, he should be dead. not helping death along was his idea of fatherhood. but he had considered it, you know. this is the man you’re going to deliver your patient to, the man who has you by the throat.

when you first learned about the hippocratic oath, you found it romantic in the only way you could bear: do no harm. not be kind or even do good, not change the world or save the day, and certainly nothing as lushly irrational as love. something possible and real. a solid foundation. first, do no harm. 

alessandra might never know that you’re the one who gave her up.

that’s your patient, you remember a veteran surgeon saying to another resident. you can’t exactly remember what made him say it, some disrespect, but the viciousness of his voice left an impression on you. the unspoken seemed obvious. they’re the patient, you’re the doctor. they let you cut them wide open and put your hands inside them, so you better be prepared to show some fucking respect. surgeons always have a reputation for ego, so maybe it had nothing to do with treating the patient well, maybe it was a pure ego thing. but it felt, and still feels, like a personal claim. you violate your own patient and you might as well be a leafless tree, an unloving father.

you think over the leader’s words, trying to find yourself some loophole. relive each word as best you can while sniffing back snot because you have no tissues. but all you find is that the letter is gone now too, and with that, you tighten your jaw and refuse to let yourself start crying, because this time if you lose it, you’ll be lost.

the laundry room sunlight feels like it fell on your face years ago. that hope is gone. richie would not understand you abandoning your patient, and you wouldn’t want him to. you don’t even want him living in the same country as this fucking place. 

why didn’t you open that letter when you had the chance? if it’s not understanding, it’s probably rage, and you want that.  you would willingly read in excruciating detail just how fucked up it is that you caused his best friend’s death and then wormed your way so deep into his life that you could see him up close fighting the grief like a fish against the hook. you’d take that. if he tells you to go fuck yourself, fair enough. as long as it’s his words. that letter is the last of him, and you want it. 

that letter is the last of him because once you give up alessandra, there’s no coming back. once you give up alessandra, you’re not just a legal liability, not just a burden, but a genuine honest to god piece of shit twice over. you were a piece of shit already, but this?

you only realize you had hope now that you’re losing it. you only know you want to be a doctor once your license is on the line; you only know you were going to go back to him now that the door is receding many more years into the distance. there’s some life left in you, yeah. that’s not a good thing.

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.

.

when you get up out of bed the next morning to meet your fate, your left eye has swollen up so badly you can barely see out of it. you face the morning, the sudden harsh overheads turning on, with half vision and a desperate, helpless longing to be numb. the numbness doesn’t return, though the leader does. 

she sits next to you at breakfast. there’s no enforcer this time. apparently you’re not enough of a threat.

well? she says.

you should’ve cried last night; maybe then you wouldn’t feel such an intense urge to cry now. stupid. you say nothing. you want to pick at the lumps of rubbery scrambled egg on your tray, but you only stare at them.

this is your chance. she doesn’t say it like a threat. she says it like a friend. you sure you have nothing to tell me?

it’s happening, you can feel it happening, but you can barely process. she thinks your silence is a no. she thinks she’s being denied. and you know you need to tell her what she wants to hear, but the guilt of it is so heavy that your mouth stays closed. you’re terrified of her. of yourself. you know what will happen once you crack and open your mouth and let your patient down: your life will be over. and you have no idea of exactly what will happen if you don’t open your mouth, but your imagination can fill in those blanks a thousand different ways. 

you’re just fucking scared in all directions, and what it amounts to is this: you keep your mouth shut.

after what feels like hours, the leader speaks.

okay, she says. i’ll pass it on. 

she gets up from the table. around you, women are eating and joking and squabbling as usual. it doesn’t feel like you made a decision. it doesn’t feel like the end of anything. it just feels like you’re waiting for the next punch to land.

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.

days go by and you’re still tensed, waiting for that punch. nothing seems to change, but it’s cold comfort. and there’s no comfort in the moral victory, either—discovering that you have a single principle left doesn’t make you feel any better when all your energy goes into keeping your guard up. every dull hour, every dull meal could be taken away from you at any moment. the afternoon light in the laundry room is still beautiful. somebody should try to hurt you, and soon. if they don’t, you’re just going to lose it.

and then there she is. the enforcer, sitting on your bed, when you come back from the laundry room smelling of bleach from the white shirts. the burn on her arm is still bandaged. in full light, she looks even bigger. dirty blonde hair swept back in a ponytail, grey eyes hateful. 

when she takes out that blue envelope, your chest tightens. you can tell that she enjoys the look on her face, but it doesn’t last long. it’s strange. she tosses the letter with a dismissive gesture, and it lands on the floor between you.

congratulations. she still hates you, that much is clear—but she’s no longer enjoying herself, and that’s vital. that’s a good sign.

yeah? you say.

jack says you pass. 

she shoves past you hard on her way out. it’s all you can do not to snatch up the letter from the ground, to try and look as though you have some kind of control. 

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> dear julie, 

> i don’t know if you remember me, but you dated my best friend mikey a while ago. when i found out you got arrested, i talked to tina about it. she said you helped him till the day he died, and you’re the one who got us narcan.

> that sounds about right to me. i heard negative things about you once, but i never believed them. some things only come around once in a while, like a leap year. (which doesn’t have 365 days, it has 366.) one of those rare things is a friend who’s there when you need them. you have to recognize them when you see them. i think i recognize you now.

> this is just me saying that we haven’t forgotten you. tina says hi, and i’ll come visit, if you’ve got the time to spare. i’m guessing you’re pretty bored in there, and i can honk my horn and take a pie to the face as well as the next guy. 

> yours,

> richie

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.

.

yeah, that’s him. 

you know it’s him on the first reread, because you can see all the tightness falling away as he writes, from the cramped propriety and false casualness in the first sentences to the dear clown stupidity of the last. you know it’s him on the second reread, because he’s lying in his own way, trying to fit in with what you wanted, pretending he’s just the friend of your ex, not admitting to knowing you. you’re crying. you’ve waited a long time to cry. that’s incidental. 

it’s only on the fifth reread that you snag on the part about the leap year. it’s the weirdest part, the parentheses. long after you have the letter half-memorized and tucked away in your bra, after dinner and lights out, you’re thinking on it. you fall asleep to the question and wake up the next morning with the answer. 

i’d bet my life that there was a sig p365 in his hand when they found him.

some things only come around once in a while, like a leap year. (which doesn’t have 365 days, it has 366.)

what if it wasn’t you?

no, you’ve been inside for less than two months and you’re already detaching from reality. that’s probably what’s happening here. but you can practically feel the warmth coming off the page, and that’s all that matters. 

your nose is practically fountaining snot, and without kleenex, you just wipe it on your sleeve and read the letter again.

it’s only hours later that you stop obsessing over the letter for long enough to truly realize what has happened. you’re going to be okay. 

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.

.

the days pass quiet now. your swelled eye heals up slowly, until one morning you have full vision again. just as before, all you do is sleep, eat, work, and keep to yourself. nothing has changed. 

nothing has changed on the surface.

.

.

.

you think about alessandra all the time, because of course you do. 

just because old caruso couldn’t get you to flip on her doesn’t mean she’s safe, and yet you think about her the way you think about aja, the way you think about a gap-toothed surgery patient from way back in your residency sometimes. the thing that made you text your bosses begging for news about the carbon monoxide poisoning patients. that’s still in you. 

you know you can’t actually save anyone in a way that lasts—any and all work can be undone in an car-crash instant, and sometimes is—but still. one of your patients has to make it, or else what’s the point?

eventually you stop seeing aja around, but you don’t hear any talk about her getting killed, so you figure: that’s the one. that’s the one you got to save. it makes no sense, you know, but you have this feeling that if you get to save anyone, you only get to save one. so you try to prepare for the news that alessandra is gone. 

but when the news comes of a death in that family, it’s not the one you expected.

you stare at your lawyer, shocked. wait, so old caruso is dead?

suicide, she says matter of factly. hung himself in his cell. 

the fuck? so do we think that… you trail off, mindful of the cameras, even if they’re technically supposed to be turned off for lawyer consultations. you believe he’s dead, but you don’t believe for a second that he actually killed himself. 

your lawyer shrugs. who knows. all that matters is that apparently there’s an informer of some sort that’s turned over a bunch of shit—cellphone records, emails—and they’re willing to give an affidavit that you were threatened. there’s a couple pretty graphic and specific examples. for example, allegedly, after the first surgery you performed in the easystop basement, the oldest of caruso’s sons put his hand in the semi-coagulated blood and—

he’s dead now, you feel obligated to say. it’s whatever. you remember it well, though you wish you didn’t.

she’s admirably noncommittal, your lawyer. it would be nice if it wasn’t so annoying. which one is dead now?

most of them, i guess. the father’s dead, the oldest son is dead, and the youngest son will probably never be the same despite your best efforts. considering those numbers, it’s nothing short of a miracle that jack, the middle son, has apparently decided to spare you. you kept your mouth shut on behalf of his wife, but right now there’s such a tangle of complications and so few actual facts available to you that you can’t begin to guess what’s truly happening behind the scenes. you can only be grateful that you haven’t been hurt worse. 

your lawyer is considering you with shrewd eyes. after a second, she says, if i can get you a plea deal, will you take it? 

i can’t testify, you say automatically.

i know. i think i can get a deal without testimony included.

wait, really? 

she gives you a look, as if to say, catch up, dummy.

how many years? you say.

months, possibly. we’ll see.

you hardly know what to say to that. cool, you say, feebly.

you’ve kept your mouth shut, so they’re taking it easy on you, that’s the bottom line. it feels like a copout to escape the worst punishments on the basis that you were coerced, even if that’s true, because you feel like you probably deserve worse. but fuck, you’ll take mercy from anywhere right now, right and wrong and dignity be damned.

i’ll let you know. your lawyer gets up to go, but just as you’re about to call for the guard, she stops short. oh, one last thing. your landlady finally agreed that you don’t need to pay her rent for the past two months.

lovely.

she threw out all of your belongings that the cops didn’t take.

can’t say i’m surprised. it still hurts, but it’s a hurt dwarfed by the immense relief of an imminent plea deal. i’d sue, but we both know my retainer’s gonna run out too soon for that.

she did forward your mail to me, though. 

my mail? what is it, a dollar fifty off a personal pan pizza?

one postcard from your mom and her boyfriend and his family. one interview request for a doctoral residency program in indiana. 

you don’t know which of those is weirder. the residency applications you mostly did in a period of loneliness and boredom. they were an exercise in desperation daydreaming, not meant to touch real life, and you never even imagined a person reading the papers you submitted. getting a response, a good response, is as strange as a character stepping off a page. and your mom having a boyfriend is no surprise, but a boyfriend with a family? the world’s ended, yeah, but is the world ending?

can you forward those to me? you say.

they’re already in the mail. you should get them within the next two weeks.

when your lawyer leaves, you’re still sitting there. the guard has to call your name twice before you get up.

what a fucking week.

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.

if you’re gonna get out in months, then…

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.

you earn seventy-two cents per day working in the laundry. the first time you go to the commissary, you buy a stamp, an envelope, and a blank card. then you smuggle detergent out of the laundry room so you can bribe janine into letting you borrow her pen.

you have richie’s letter memorized, but you read it again anyway. then you stare at the blank white space of the card. 

what is there to say? well, fucking everything, but there isn’t much you can say with the inevitable prison guard reading it all too. that cuts you off from saying most things, and then dignity wants you to shut up about the rest. sorry i thought my life was over and tore you to pieces about it. turns out my life isn’t over, can we be friends again?

thing is, if you write him a letter, he’ll write back, even if it’s to tell you to fuck off. and honestly at this point, you’d give up a lot more than dignity for that. so here fucking goes.

> dear richie,

> thank you for writing. i’m not good company right now and i can’t really write letters, but maybe we can get coffee sometime when i’m out?

> yours,

> julie

the yours gives you away, but you have so little else to offer. and besides, he started it.

it’s disciplined. that’s what you’re trying to tell yourself. it’s disciplined and concise and it gets across exactly as much as he needs to know and jesus fucking christ that short note looks absolutely pitiful in the comparatively vast white space of the card. 

so you make an addition.

> p.s. tear the bottom off for eva.

as best as you can, you draw the horses from memory. arched necks, white and dark patches on their coats, as close to the style of the girl who loved horses as you can. and then one girl with a superhero’s mask and a cape, holding up an apple so the tallest horse can eat it. you don’t draw well, but you don’t have the pen long enough to try a do-over. there’s a small chance you’ll make her smile, and that’s all you want. 

lick envelope, peel stamp, and send.

[ next chapter pending ] [ masterlist ]

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a huge thank you to all readers.

taglist: @garbinge, @narcolini, @drabbles-mc, @beingalive1, @eternallyvenus, @cerial-junkie, @jackierose902109, @shinebright2000, @scorpiolystoned, @fancyvoidtragedy, @justficsandstuff, @fromirkwood, @gills-lounge, @lostfleurs, @spicydonut25— if anyone wants to be added to or removed from the taglist, let me know!

[milfjuulpod]

Guidance, Ch II

lunch, coffee, perfume, emails

read chapter one here

A/N: heyyyy sorry for my absence my writers block is insane rn….anyways i hope y’all enjoy the second chapter, lmk how u feel abt it and what u wanna see! also- i have posted both of these chapters on my ao3, same username. ok here u go bye

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The office you resided in was dark, a soft light illuminating from the computer screen, gentle music playing from its speakers. The desk was littered with papers, folders, notes, pens—it was quite the mess. Ava had dropped off a stack of reports on students, those who were falling a bit behind and needed a bit of help. So naturally, you quickly got to work. You knew when you arrived at Abbott that you wanted to help as much as possible, and there was no point in waiting to get started. Sure, it was only the first couple of weeks, but you figured it was best to get a head start on things.

Thus, you launched yourself into work. Most of these students had struggled all last year, and you decided to take some preventative measures to help both the students and teachers. Organizing the files into different piles, you heard a knock at the door. You invited whoever it was inside, and were met with a delightful surprise. “Hi Melissa, how can I help you?” You asked, taking your eyes off of the mess sprawled in front of you. “I think you might be the one who needs help, kid, what's all of this?” She asked, almost laughing at how disheveled your workspace was.

You sighed and leaned back in your chair, as Melissa took place in the seat across from you. “Ava dropped off some files on students, so I’m trying to make plans for them for this year.” She looked at you with such care at that moment, before returning to her usual demeanor. “Well don’t run yourself into the ground before we get halfway into the school year, I have a feeling your desk is gonna look like this a lot,” she teased. You replied with a quiet yes, and went to turn the music down before Melissa stopped you.

“Hold on, is that Italian?” She asked, trying to hide the smile on her face. Glancing at the screen, you realized what was playing. “Yeah, it's called Salvatore, by Lana Del Rey, I listen to this song a lot.” Her smile grew at your statement, and took mental note of it. At this point, you wondered why Melissa came in here, she still has yet to say. As if she read your mind, she spoke again. “I came to bring this to you, I had some extra and wasn’t sure if you’d eaten already, and I’m gonna guess you haven’t,” She gestured to the desk once again before setting down a tupperware in front of you. As she stood up to take her leave, she said, “I hope you like this Italian food as much as you like listening to the language,” and walked out of your office. You felt nearly as warm as the food sitting in front of you. 

       

When five p.m. rolled around, you figured it was about time to call it. Many plans were made for students, the rest would have to wait until tomorrow. You packed up your things to leave, when you remembered the tupperware sitting on the edge of your desk. Melissa’s tupperware. Hoping she didn’t leave, you grabbed it and rushed to her door. Unfortunately, her lights were off and the door was locked. Looks like that will have to wait until tomorrow too. 

      On the way out, you were stopped by Janine. “Hey! how’s the first week going?” She asked, excited as ever. You told her about the work you had done, and what was still left to do. “I just gotta take this home and wash it now, it’s Melissa’s.” Janine’s eyes widened at that statement, making you feel like maybe you said something you shouldn’t have. “Oh, Melissa gave you that? It took weeks before she even remembered my name, let alone give me something,” She shuffled on her feet nervously. “I hope she’s not trying to butter you up for anything,” Janine’s rambling was cut off by Gregory pulling up to the two of you. “I’ll see you tomorrow!” 

      Walking to your own car, you wondered what Janine could’ve meant by that. Melissa had been nothing but kind to you, what could possibly make her say that? Sure, the older teacher had a bit of a tough exterior, but she already took a liking to you. Janine’s words echoed in your head, and the anxiety grew as you thought about what Melissa really wanted from you. 

        

The following morning, you walked to Melissa’s classroom with her clean tupperware and coffees in hand. One for you, one for her. You were just going to return her dish, give her the coffee, and leave. Nothing more, nothing less. The crush on her was a bit ridiculous at this point, you barely knew the redhead, and yet you wanted nothing more but to learn everything. Knocking lightly on the door, you let yourself in. “Good morning, you left yesterday before I could give this back to you. Oh, and here’s a coffee as a thank you.” You greeted Melissa with excitement. Except she didn’t match the energy, at all. She didn’t even look up from her computer as she quietly said “thank you.” 

        Okay, maybe you were planning on staying a bit longer and chatting with her before getting to your own work, and you felt a bit defeated. Silently, you left the classroom and walked to your own office, wondering if Janine was right about Melissa. It was hard to focus on work feeling this way, and slowly, but surely, it was lunch time. Opting to work through it, you didn’t visit the break room with everyone else. You missed Melissa anxiously looking for you in the break room. But her best friend didn’t. 

        

“Why do you keep looking at the door? Are you waiting for someone?” Barbara asked the woman next to her. Melissa glanced at the cameras, before deciding to lie. “Uh, no. Just…paying attention. You can never be too careful.” Barbara knew what that tone meant, but decided to let it go. Playing the events from this morning back in her mind, Melissa felt a little bad for ignoring you, and this made her upset. Why did she care? 

      “You’re shaking the whole table bouncing your leg, Melissa. What’s going on?” Barbara questioned. Melissa just sighed in response and leaned back in her chair. With a stern look from her friend, she started talking. “I don’t know. That new guidance counselor came by this morning to return my tupperware and I was busy so I didn’t really say much. And then she just left, but what was I supposed to do? She got me coffee too, I didn’t even realize until she was gone. It was good though, I haven’t been to the place she got it from. Maybe I should ask her where it is? Or…I don’t know…” The redhead trailed off. Across from her, Barbara tried her best to hide the shock from hearing her friend’s words. 

       “Why are you overthinking this? I’m sure she’s fine and wouldn’t mind you inquiring about the coffee. Go, before the break is over and I have to hear about this all over again tomorrow morning.” Barbara laughed as Melissa rolled her eyes, but she stood up to go searching. 

     

  You, on the other hand, decided to pick up a sandwich from the corner store across the street for lunch. Upon returning, you nearly jumped out of your skin when you opened the office door. “Melissa! Oh good god you scared me, what are you doing in here?” You whisper-screamed, adrenaline still rushing for a moment. “I had a question for ya,” she replied, so casually. As if it was normal for her to sneak into your office while you were out. Come to think of it, you remember locking the door, how exactly did she get in?

       “A question that couldn’t wait for me to get back from the store? And that’s my chair, scooch it,” You set the sandwich on the desk and leaned against it as well waiting for Melissa to move out of your seat. She didn’t. “Sorry for being so short with you this morning, kid. I was a little overwhelmed with making plans for both of my classes, but thank you for the coffee, that was sweet.” She smiled at you sincerely, and if this is what you get for buying her a coffee, it might become a daily thing. “Where did you get it by the way?”

        “Oh! It’s this new place that just opened up by my apartment, Opus. I’ve been a few times already, might become a regular there,” you told her. “Yeah, that makes two of us.” Melissa stood up to leave, and without thinking, you grabbed her hand to stop her. “Wait! Did you say both of your classes? You have two?” 

        Melissa was visibly surprised at your physical touch, but she didn’t pull back either. “Yeah, a combined second and third grade class. Gonna be a great year,” She informed you, rolling her eyes in the process. You let go of her hand finally and took in what she said. “If you need any help, with lesson plans or grading, you know where to find me.” 

        The teacher took your hand again and gently squeezed it before letting go, “Thanks hon, I’ll keep that in mind. And next time you need lunch, you know where to find me,” She said with a smirk before walking out the door. Sitting down, you took in the smell of her perfume that coated the area for a few moments more. The sweet scent was quickly forgotten when you looked at your computer screen. Many emails, forgotten assignments, but what caught your eye immediately, was a new email, from Melissa of all people. 

       Forgot to ask while I was still with you, but would you want to meet this afternoon or later this week to help me with some planning? Maybe we can enjoy a coffee inside the shop this time. Let me know. 

-Melissa Schemmenti

[morgana-larkin]

Me again lol I was wondering if u could do Melissa x reader where reader is autistic and has an autistic meltdown or struggles with change in routine and Melissa helps her (lol sorry I keep requesting fics but your writing is sooooo good I can’t get enough and as always no pressure and look after yourself 🫶)

Hey, thank you for the prompt! I literally just moved 2 weeks ago from one end of the city I live in to the other so I wrote that reader moves since its really relatable to me right now. And feel free to send as many prompts as you want, it’s not a problem😉. Hope you like it!

On another note, I was going to post this tomorrow but kept seeing people like my other fics so I figured I could just post it now lol. Also I can’t believe how many people are liking my fics! Especially ‘her poco sole’ , that was the one I really didn’t know if people were gonna like and it’s the most liked one which surprised me. I’m gonna try to get another one shot to a prompt I got a few hours ago and the next chapter of Worth It. I do have my acting workshop tomorrow and a role on Sunday but I’m gonna try!

Overwhelmed

Warnings: reader has a meltdown

Words: 3.1k

You’ve always done things a certain way, you planned your day ahead of time and you don’t like changes.

You got diagnosed with Autism when you were 13. Your parents knew nothing about it but were super supportive and researched it to better help you. They also liked to ask you questions about what you prefer to help you even further.

You all realised that routine is very important for you, and if something changed then you would need a bit of time to calm down from your mini freak out. If it was small changes like having to wear a different shirt or a friend wants to meet up at a different store, those you can deal with. But big ones like if a friend you were going to hang out with cancelled last minute or a family member dropped by unexpectedly or you moved.

That last one you didn’t experience a lot thankfully. You only remember moving once, and it was moving out of your parents place and in with a friend you’ve known since first grade. The next time would be when you moved in with Melissa.

You got accepted for a job to be a teacher's aide at Abbott Elementary. You walked in at 7:30 and went to the principal's office to get your badge and to know who the teacher you’ll be helping is. You liked being a teacher's aide instead of the teacher. If there was any big changes to the day then the teacher mostly has to deal with it and you just do what you’re told.

You got introduced to the principal, you didn’t understand how she got the job with how she acts but you don’t ask, it’s your first day after all.

« so the teacher that you’ll be an aide for, her name is Melissa Schemmenti. I’ll bring you to meet her now, she’s in the break room. » Ava said and you nodded your head. You followed her there and walked in the room and all the teachers there looked up and looked at you and you blushed a bit. You got nervous when you felt put in the spotlight with a bunch of people you don’t know. « Hey Melissa, your new aide is here. ». She told someone and when Ava moved out of the way your breath caught in your throat. A pair or beautiful green eyes were on you and they belonged to the most beautiful woman you’ve ever met. And then it hit you, she’s the teacher you’ll be helping. You’re either really lucky or really fucked. You then remember that you should introduce yourself.

« Hi, my name is y/n y/l/n. You must be Melissa Schemmenti. » you tell her and she nods then looks at Ava.

« She better be better than the last one Coleman. » she says and you look confused. She already had an aide that she didn’t like?

« I don’t know, I didn’t pick her, the school board did. » Ava says then leaves. And you just stand there not knowing what to do until one of the teachers stands up to greet you.

« Hi y/n it’s nice to meet you, my name is Janine Teagues. I’m a second grade teacher. » she says and is practically bouncing in your face and you lean back a bit, a bit surprised by her energy and enthusiasm.

« Hi. » is all you say, you never really know what to say to someone new.

« Alright kid, follow me, I’ll bring you to the classroom. » Melissa says as she gets up and you nod as you follow her out of the break room.

You stare at her little bit, you don’t know what to think of her yet other than she’s stunning and you oddly feel safe around her. Which is different, it takes you a few times of getting to know someone before you even feel comfortable. But it seems this woman has the power to make herself go from being a complete stranger to all the way to feeling safe around her.

« You’re really quiet. » she says to you as she bends down a bit to unlock her door with her key around her neck.

« Sorry, just nervous. » You tell her and she motions for you to go into the room.

« I didn’t say it was a bad thing, definitely a nice change from the last one. » she says and you want to be better than the last one so you can’t help but ask her.

« What did the last one do that you didn’t like? Just so I don’t repeat it. » You tell her and she looks at you curiously.

« She disrupted the class more that the students did. She made it worse more than she helped. » she simply said and leaned against her desk and folded her arms. And that’s when you get a look at what she’s wearing. Black leggings with a pink top and black leather jacket. Oh. You always found a girl who wears a leather jacket hot. « Do I scare you? » she says as you haven’t said anything.

« I don’t know you yet. I’m just nervous meeting new people and never know what to say. I’m autistic so I’m not as good with social interactions as other people. » You tell her and she nods.

« Well this is the classroom. I have a split class. » she says as she takes a seat on her desk and puts her hands together on her lap. « I have 20 second graders and 10 third graders. »

« Oh fuck. » you say and she laughs.

« That was my reaction too. Do you have any questions? »

« Um » you say and think about it. « What will you be needing me to do? »

« Just stuff to help really. Like photocopy papers, hand out tests, help them with some class work. Might need you to sometimes teach the third graders a quick lesson in the back of the classroom. » she says and you nod. This sounds like it’ll be good, you think. « any other questions? » she asks.

« Just mostly wondering how you’ve been doing this mostly by yourself. You must be a hell of a teacher to have 30 students in your class. » You tell her and she smiles.

« It was hard at first I’ll admit. I even punched the head of a cardboard samurai right off before I asked for an aide. » she says and you laugh.

The two of you talk for a bit before students start arriving. Melissa has you helping the third graders with some work while she teaches currency to the second graders. She gets you to grade some tests for most of the morning then has you help bring them to the cafeteria at lunch.

« You were a great help today so far, keep up the great work. » she says with a smile and you beam.

A month goes by with you helping Melissa and she’s less stressed now that she has an aide that’s helpful and you’ve settled in nicely with the class and some of the teachers. Until you get home from work one day and your friend tells you that her work transferred her to another city and she’s moving in a month and your smile falls. You can’t afford the rent by yourself, that means moving.

The next day at school, Melissa can tell something is bothering you since you seem distracted and in your head a lot. During her prep period, she asks you about it.

« Hey, what’s going on with you? You seem distracted this morning. » she asks you and you look up at her.

« I’m sorry, just a lot on my mind. » you tell her.

« You wanna talk about it? » she asks and you shake your head, you don’t really want to put it on her.

« You sure? »

You sigh and put your chin on your hands. « Just found out last night that I have a month to find a new place and move. And I looked a bit last night and there’s nothing I can afford by myself and very few people are looking for roommates. » you tell her and she doesn’t say anything. « Sorry, I didn’t want to bother you with my problems. » you tell her and she shakes her head.

« I offered remember. And plus I was actually going to start looking for a roommate. » she says and you look at her. « I have a spare room I’m not using and wouldn’t mind some extra cash. » you look at her confused, wondering if she’s saying what you think she is. « I guess what I’m saying is , if you need a place, you can move in with me. »

And that’s how you got here. The day you’re moving in with Melissa. And you’ve been freaking out about it for a week, your friend has been trying to help you pack and comfort you the best she can. You move your things into her place all day, you don’t have a lot of time to think about it until you’re standing in your new room, and it hits you all at once. Everything changed, different room, different house, different roommate, different end of the city. It all changed and you crumble to the ground and bring your legs to your chest and hug your legs and start rocking to comfort yourself.

« Hey y/n I made dinner and was wondering if… » Melissa comes by your room and sees you. « Y/n? You ok? »

You don’t say anything, you feel like you can’t talk right now, it’s all too much. You end up shaking your head and she comes over and sits on the ground next to you. She doesn’t say anything, she just wraps her arms around you and brings you in for a hug. And that’s when you break and start crying and Melissa rubs your back in a circular motion. The repetitive movement and the physical contact of someone you know soothes you. After a minute you pull back and wipe your tears off. And she just sits next to you for a few minutes, letting you calm down « Thank you. » you tell her when you feel like you can talk again.

« Not a problem. I know it can get overwhelming. But I can help you settle in so it’s not so scary. You like knowing about things right? » she asks and you nod. « Ok, well today I can show you around the house so you know where things are. And then tomorrow I can show you where I shop and you can decide if you like it or not. Then I can show you all the best places to get a bite to eat around here and anything else you want to know. » she offers.

« You’d do that for me? » you ask and she nods. « Why? »

She shrugs. « Because you’re a good person who just needs a bit of help. » she says and you smile at her.

« You know at first, I was a bit scared of you. » You tell her and she laughs.

« I knew it! » she says with a smile.

« But after getting to know you, and seeing how you are with the students, I realised how much of a softie you are. » You tell her and she glares at you.

« Don’t go telling anyone that! » she tells you sternly. And you put your hands up in surrender.

« Don’t worry I won’t, I know you got a reputation to keep. » You joke with her. « was there something you needed btw? » You ask her, remembering she was asking you something before she saw you on the floor.

« Just that I made dinner and wanted to know if you wanted something. I always make a lot. » she says and you beam. You’ve heard great things about her cooking but haven’t had any yet.

Turns out what they say about her cooking didn’t live up to how great she actually was. It was better than you thought. She did give you a tour of the house after supper and you felt a little better. You ended up watching tv with her and she stayed right beside you so that your arms are touching. She knows that close proximity with someone you know helps you calm down and process things.

For the next week you barely say anything. You’re more quiet than normal and you hide in your own head, in your own little fantasy world that you have complete control of.

Melissa has no idea what’s going on with you, and that’s when she starts actually looking up autism and how it affects the person and how they act and how to help them. She sees that if they’re dealing with a lot of big changes, they get overwhelmed and they either repress it and pull away from people or have a meltdown, it also says that they can repress it then have a meltdown. And that’s exactly what happens with you. Melissa was prepared in case it happened, it’s just how it happened and what you end up doing after, that shocked her.

You came home after going grocery shopping and slammed the front door. Melissa was dusting her table with all her pictures when you came in.

« You alright there sunshine? » Melissa joked and you glared at her. Melissa came from an Italian family, so glares didn’t even faze her. She went and leaned on the side of the couch and crossed her arms.

« I’m fine, just they didn’t have some things I wanted so I just walked out. » You said, trying to take your jacket off but it got stuck when trying to take your arms out and you let out a huff.

« Need help? » she asks with a raised eyebrow.

« No. » you snap and continue to struggle. « Ugh why is nothing going right! » Melissa walks over to you and pulls at the arm of the jacket and you’re able to take it off. You slam your jacket on the ground « stupid jacket! Stupid grocery store! » You half scream out.

« Hey it’s alright » she tells you and puts a hand on your shoulder trying to comfort you.

You gasp and turn to her with a glare before shrugging her hand off. « Don’t touch me. » you snap at her then try to calm yourself down. Melissa tries again, knowing that physical contact helps you and read that doing things that helps that autistic person calm down helps during a meltdown. « I said don’t touch me! » you tell her and back up to get away. You end up backing into a wall and you feel like everything is too much and you grab your hair and start freaking out.

« Y/n it’s alright » she says and you barely hear her. She wraps her arms around you from behind you and you scream at her to let you go and try to push her off but she hangs on. And then you start crying and fall to the ground and she follows you, still hugging you. You put one of your hands on her hand and lean into her. « it’s ok y/n, you’re ok. » she says, still hugging you from behind. She rests her chin on your shoulder and you relax more into her. After about a minute you sit up a bit and she removes her head from you. You turn around and in a wave of confidence, you lean in and kiss her.

She kisses you back and she feels you smile. You pull back and look into her eyes. « R u ok y/n? » she asks you after it seems you’ve calmed down.

« I think mostly, it’s still a bit hard for me, I’m still processing everything. » You tell her and she gets an idea. She helps you back and tells you to stay there for a second. She goes over and turns on her Bluetooth speaker and it connects to her phone. She opens her Spotify and clicks on a song. The song starts playing through the speaker and you instantly recognize the song, it’s the Macarena.

« Come on I’m sure you know the moves. » she tells you when you raise your eyebrows at her. She pulls you away from the wall and goes behind you and moves your arms to the music with the moves. You start laughing at her goofiness but eventually you start getting into it and she lets your arms go and does the moves with you. At the end of the song, your both laughing and having a great time, then the next starts playing and it’s ‘can you feel the love tonight’ from the lion king. Melissa just goes with it and holds out a hand for you to take. « May I have this dance? » she asks you and you giggle and you take her hand.

She brings you close to her and puts one hand on your shoulder and moves her hand in yours to the proper position and you put your hand on her waist. She starts doing the waltz with you and you’re surprised. She ends up being a really good dancer.

« You seem surprised. » she tells you.

« I am, I’m wondering if there’s something you can’t do. » you tell her and she laughs. « I’m being serious, you’re an amazing teacher, your meals taste like heaven, you can waltz really well. I wouldn’t be surprised if you knew a second language. » you tell her as a joke but looks at you with a smile.

« Conosco Italian. » she says and you look at her. « That means I know Italian. »

« I was actually joking but at this point I’m not surprised. » You tell her and she giggles. The song ends but both of you don’t pull away. « thank you btw. You’ve helped me so much. » You tell her with a smile and she smiles back at you.

« of course mia carina. » she tells you.

« Ok now you’re just showing off. » You joke and she laughs. Then she puts a hand around your neck and kisses you and you kiss her back. It’ll take time but Melissa is willing to help you with all the changes and to make her house feel like home to you.

Taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta

@imaginesmultifandoms

@idonothingalldays-blog

If you want to be added then let me know!

[magicalqueennightmare]

Not Exactly a Win (C)

When it's time to face Homelander can those of you against him keep from killing each other long enough to take him out?

Canon storyline Part 3 to Not Exactly Babysitting & Not Exactly Lying

Warnings: it's the Boys so lots of crazy shit happens

Cabin fever, a truckload of combined trauma or just the universe deciding it was against each and every one of you had you, MM, Frenchie and Kimiko piled up in one apartment going batty.

MM was going through it because he'd ended up beating the shit out of Janine's step dad because the idiot was one of those that thought supes were untouchable. Kimiko and Frenchie were still on the mend from Nina's goons and you, well you didn't want to look internally enough to attempt at picking apart your issues.

Ben..Solider Boy was Homelander's father. Solider Boy was responsible for MMs family being killed years ago and many more things that had you wanting to peel your skin off. Butcher was unstable even for him and from what Annie told you she'd discovered about the temp V... he wouldn't be around for much longer and had possibly signed Hughie's death certificate as well.

On the plus Frenchie had tracked down the gas that could incapacitate a supe. You had one vial and one shot to stop Soldier Boy and Butcher from sacrificing every innocent person in Vought tower. You wanted Homelander dead but not at the expense of having blood of your hands that hadn't wronged you.

You really shouldn't have went off grid for so long because you'd missed a shit load. You'd nearly dozed off in the spare bedroom when MMs voice calling your name made you jolt out of bed and you were halfway to the living room before your conscious brain could catch up.

There stood Maeve, barefoot and covered in blood "Nice to see ya Y/N" you looked from her to MM "What the hell is going on?"

By the time Maeve was through catching all of you up to speed and had changed into a spare change of your clothes Annie was back with Hughie who happened to be sporting a large bruise on the left side of his face "Who the hell decked you?" You asked and he shrugged "Butcher?"

In the last forty five minutes all of you had confronted Butcher and Ben, been double crossed by Maeve and locked into the safe that took up part of Butcher's office. It didn't take long for you and Annie to bust out but it took long enough that they had a decent head start.

The working plan? Kimiko and Frenchie go to the lab in Vought tower and hope Frenchie could concoct the gas needed to stop Soldier Boy while you, Annie, Hughie and MM got in the middle of three supes and Butcher.. oh yeah and try to keep the casualties down to a minimum. Always the easy things in life huh?

You never expected to walk into the scene that was in front of you. Butcher and Soldier Boy were fighting,Maeve was facing off on Homelander while Ryan lay not far away clearly hit with a blast from someone.

Soldier Boy had Butcher flat on his back with his shield raised over his head about to bring it down. You and Annie moved together, her sending a shot of electricity that mixed with your flames to slam right into Soldier Boy and knock him back from Butcher.

Solider Boy glared at you out of everyone "Don't do this Blaze. I said I'd kill the asshole and I fucking will. Who cares if one brat is collateral damage? Youre not fucking weak like them" You looked at MM then Annie before glancing at Butcher and held his gaze for a heartbeat before shrugging "Deal's changed"

MM fired the shotgun in his hand while you,Annie and Butcher hit Soldier Boy with everything you had while Hughie worked the coms overhead to evacuate the building.

Everyone was down. Annie was slammed into a wall, Butcher was knocked out, Kimiko had gotten tossed and you were down but trying to shield MM should Soldier Boy turn on him. You were well and throughly fucked.

As if some random God finally decided to get off their ass and answer prayers all the lights started to get brighter and you saw Annie get to her feet. HUGHIE!

The lights started to bust as Annie drew the power and right before Soldier Boy could slam the broken pieces of his shield into her chest she slammed him with a blast that knocked him back and gave all of you an opening. You ran for the gas canister Kimiko had dropped and threw it to MM while you Annie and Kimiko grabbed Soldier Boy.

The moment the mask hit his face he growled "I'M NOT GOING BACK IN THAT FUCKING BOX"

Nothing happened how you would've wanted it. Maeve was dead to the public eye and to Vought. She'd ended up tackling Soldier Boy out of the window to save all of you from his blast. As for Soldier Boy, from what Grace could tell you he did indeed end up back in the fucking box but in her people's hands now.

Ryan had chosen Homelander, you were fairly certain Butcher was dying from the effects of the temp V even if the two of you hadn't talked much and Neuman was now in position to be the next vice president.

--------------

You sat next to Kimiko on Frenchies desk watching the news report as Butcher said "Well that bitch has got to go" you let out a breath "Lets get back to work boys"

[thesapphictimelady]

Ad Astra Per Aspera Chapter 3

Word count: 1.8 K

TW: Domestic abuse and verbal abuse

A/N: This chapter is a bit heavier than the previous two and we hear a little more about Cassiopeia’s previous relationship. If you or someone you love is affected by domestic violence, know that you are not alone and there are resources out there for you. As always, comments are appreciated! If you want me to continue this series, please let me know! Happy reading!

“Melissa what is happening?” Barbara asked quietly, “The poor girl looks awful.”

“I told ya Barb, she went home sick yesterday.”

“Melissa Schemmenti, I know there’s something more going on. Now tell me, how can I help Cassiopeia?”

Melissa sighed and set the apple back on Barb’s desk, “I can’t tell you.”

“Can’t? Or won’t?”

“I can’t tell you because I don’t know very much and what I do know, I don’t think she wants me to tell you. She only told me because…”

“Because?”

“I’m sorry, Barb, I really can’t tell you. It’s up to her. I won’t talk without her permission.”

“Tell me this then,” Barb said, setting down the fan she had gotten from Ava’s office, “Is she safe?”

“Safe? ‘Course she’s safe!”

Barb pursed her lips and crossed her arms.

“Ms. Schemmenti,” Ava’s voice boomed over the intercom, “Please report to my office”

“What could she possibly want?” Melissa grumbled.

“Go, I’ll take this to Cassiopeia.”

When Barbara entered the classroom, Cassie was curled up on a beanbag chair in the back of the classroom. The older teacher plugged in the fan and then dragged a chair over to where Cassie was sitting. She gently brushed a strand of hair off the young girls forehead.

“How are you feeling, Cassiopeia?”

“I’m fine, Mrs. Howard, really I am. I just didn’t sleep very well last night.”

“Honey, that shouldn’t make you dizzy like this.”

“I didn’t sleep very well…and I had a bit too much to drink? Ms Schemmenti came over last night and gave me some aspirin but I’m just…”

“Melissa was at your house last night? That can’t be right because she was with Gerald and I until 10,”

“She came around 2 this morning.”

Barbara was quiet for a few minutes as she thought about this information. Melissa had seemed quieter than normal and visibly recoiled at the mention of Joe.

“Is there something going on between the two of you?” Barb asked slowly.

“No! No, Mrs. Howard, I just met her yesterday!”

“You talkin about me?” Melissa asked, tossing Cassie another bottle of gatorade.

“What did Ava need?” Barb said, quickly changing the subject.

Melissa rolled her eyes, “Wanted to see if I had any guys who can install a hot tub in one of the supply closets. How ya feelin kid?”

“I really am fine, you two don’t have to fuss over me,” Cassiopeia said, taking a sip of gatorade, “I feel much better now.”

The older teachers exchanged a meaningful look.

“Alright,” Barbara said, “Well I will see you two at lunch. Cassiopeia, please rest. Can’t have you passing out during whatever…delightful activity Janine has planned for us.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Howard,” Cassie said, smiling softly.

“Of course,” Barbara said, closing the classroom door behind her.

“We got like 20 minutes,” Melissa said, “why don’t you take a nap?”

“I really am fine, Ms. Schemmenti,” Cassiopeia insisted, “I don’t need to take a nap. I’ll do some more grading or I can do some of your prep if you want?”

“You can do some grading but you stay right there.”

The redhead grabbed a stack of papers, a red pen, and Cassie’s phone and brought them over to the beanbag. As she was handing everything over, the name Jenny flashed across the screen and Melissa froze.

“Kid,” she said slowly, “Is everything okay?”

“What do you mean? Of course it is,” Cassie took everything out of Melissa’s hand and her face paled slightly after seeing her screen but she quickly pasted a smile onto her face, “Let’s get to work! We only have 20 minutes!”

Cassiopeia waited until Melissa was sitting at her desk and working on her own grading before she checked her phone.

Jenny:

“I miss you”

“Look, I’m really sorry.”

“Cass please can we talk.”

“Stop punishing me for something I didn’t do!”

Cassiopeia bit her lip, tears starting to fill her eyes.

Cassiopeia:

“I told you I’m done. Stop texting me!”

Jenny:

“Baby please, I’m sorry, it won’t happen again!”

Cassie sniffled and glanced towards the desk. Melissa was still hunched over the papers, her glasses perched on her nose. She took a deep breath and blocked Jenny. Picking up her pen, she got back to work grading her math tests. A few minutes later, her phone buzzed.

Unknown number:

“I can’t believe you blocked me.”

“You bitch.”

“You’re nothing without me.”

“No one could ever love you.”

“You’re nothing.”

Cassie let out a shaky breath and put her head between her knees as the room began to spin.

“New kid?” Melissa said, sounding alarmed, “Cassiopeia, what’s going on?” the redhead was at her side in no time, “Hon, can I touch you?”

Cassie nodded and Melissa put an arm around her, rubbing her back gently, “Just breathe. You’re okay. Breathe. You’re safe. I’m here.”

Cassie took the water that the older woman was pushing into her hand and held it against her forehead. She coughed a couple times, trying to catch her breath and Melissa continued to rub her back and whisper in her ear.

“I-I’m okay now, Ms. Schemmenti,” she said shakily.

“Are ya sure hon? You’re shakin like a leaf.”

“I’m okay. I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“Ya don’t need to apologize. But…Cassie, I think you need to talk about this.”

Somewhere in the back of her mind, the fact that Melissa was now using her name instead of ‘new kid’ registered. Cassie bit her lip and shook her head.

“I can’t talk about it, Ms. Schemmenti,”

The redhead pursed her lips, “I know you don’t know me all that well but whatever is going on, you need someone to help you,”

“I don’t need help. Where’s my phone?”

Melissa grabbed her phone from where it had slid under the beanbag and handed it to Cassie, “If you ever need to talk…”

“Thank you, Ms. Schemmenti, but I’m fine. I’m going to go to the bathroom.”

Once Cassie was in the bathroom, she pulled her phone out of her pocket to see almost a dozen missed calls from Jenny along with nearly twice as many texts.

Unknown number:

“You’re pathetic, Cassiopeia”

“You’re crazy.”

“You don’t know what you’ve done”

“You’ve wasted the last two years of my life”

“I never put my hands on you”

“And everyone here knows I did nothing wrong.”

“You should be ashamed of yourself for the lies you’ve told.”

“After everything I’ve done for you?”

“You’re too sensitive”

Cassiopeia’s eyes filled with tears again, blurring her vision as she braced herself against the sink, trying hard to take deep breaths. Her phone buzzed again and her stomach dropped but she looked down at the screen. She let out a sigh of relief when she saw the name on the screen.

Ms. Schemmenti:

“Hey, just checkin in on you. You okay?”

Cassiopeia:

“I’m on my way back to the classroom.”

She quickly splashed some water on her face and tucked her phone into her pocket before unlocking the bathroom door and heading back to the classroom.

“I-I think…that maybe I do want to talk about it” she said to Melissa.

Melissa looked up from her desk and gestured for her to close the door.

“What’s goin on? Barb is worried, I’m worried, please tell me.”

“Mrs. Howard is worried? What did you tell her?”

“Nothin kid. But she’s smart and she knows something’s up.”

Cassie fidgeted in the chair next to Melissa’s desk, “Remember yesterday when I…I told you guys that my ex wasn’t a good person?”

Melissa nodded, putting her glasses on top of her head and leaning forward to listen.

“I-I think you know what I meant by that. But she’s…well she started texting me again.”

Cassie unlocked her phone and slid it across the desk. The redhead pulled her glasses down again as she began to read the messages. Her eyebrows furrowed as she read and there was barely contained anger growing in her eyes.

“Cassiopeia, ya know none of this is true, right?”

“I-well…”

Melissa set a hand over Cassie’s, “Hon, this isn’t true. Okay? Have you told anyone else?”

Cassie shook her head, “No, all my friends were hers first and my family adores her. She’s right, none of them would believe me.”

“Can I get Barb? I won’t if you don’t want me to but…listen, I was married to someone who was…similar to Jenny. He…towards the end of our marriage, I had to spend some time with Barb and she helped me to unlearn some of the things he would say to me.”

Cassie bit her lip and nodded, “If you think having her here will help me, she can come in.”

Melissa picked up her phone and tapped out a quick message. Moments later, Barbara entered the room and enveloped Cassie in a hug.

“I promise, Melissa didn’t tell me anything,” she said, “I just recognized some of the signs. And I’m here for you for whatever you need.”

Cassie nodded into Barb’s shoulder and hugged her tightly, breathing in her perfume. When she finally let go, Melissa slid the phone to Barb. As she read through the messages, her face fell, a deep sadness filling her face.

“Oh, sweetheart, none of this is true, you do know that right?”

“You can show her,” Melissa whispered, gesturing towards Cassie’s sweater.

Cassie slowly shrugged off her sweater, revealing the yellowing bruises on her wrists and Barbara gasped, her eyes filling with tears. Gently, she reached out and grabbed the young woman’s hands.

“Did she do this to you?”

Cassie nodded, tears beginning to fall. Barbara looked over at Melissa, who nodded, anger starting to slip through her calm exterior.

“Cassiopeia, have you told anyone?”

Melissa cut in before Cassie could respond, “She can’t. She doesn’t think anyone would believe her.”

“We believe you, sweetheart. We believe you. You aren’t alone. We’re here for you.”

Cassie let out a sob and Barbara gathered her into a hug, pressing a soft kiss to her temple.

Melissa picked up Cassie’s phone, quickly writing down the number Jenny had been using and tucking it into her pocket for later. Then she produced a box of tissues from a desk drawer and passed it to Barb.

“Barb’s right, ya aren’t alone kid. And we’ll do whatever you need us to.”

Cassiopeia sniffled and nodded, blowing her nose.

“Attention teachers,” Ava’s voice boomed, “Please report to the gym for lunch and…Janine do we HAVE to do this ‘team building’?”

“Yes, Ava,” Janine said, her voice quieter than Ava’s, but still loud enough for everyone to hear, “It’s important. Now read the teams,”

“Fine!” Ava cleared her throat, “The first two teams for team building are Melissa, Barbara, and Princess Leia…”

“Cassiopeia,” Janine corrected, “It’s literally right in front of you.”

“Whatever Janine, it’s Melissa, Barbara, and Peia. Team two is Jacob, Gregory, and Mr. Morton. We’ll see you in the gym.”

The intercom clicked off and Melissa sighed, “Guess we gotta head to the gym now. You gonna be okay for this? I can take ya home.”

“No, I’ll be fine. Let’s just go.”

[dreamofbecoming]

yeah alright this got away from me. posting in pieces, part one is just stobin, no shippy stuff. steddie and rockie to follow. i'll drop it on ao3 once all 3 parts are done

now on ao3!

platonic stobin

rating: t

wc: 3.5k

---

Robin stopped being surprised by Steve Harrington showing up at her bedroom window months ago. Jesus, there's a sentence her 16 year old self wouldn't fucking believe for a second. The Hair, climbing up the trellis her dad built for the roses her mom planted and then forgot about three months later? Yeah right, as if. But it turns out alternate dimensions and sci-fi movie monsters and Russian conspiracies in Bumfuck, Nowhere, USA are all real, so how surprising really is The King himself, collapsing through her window with all the grace of a baby giraffe, out of breath like he- holy shit, did he fucking run here?

"Dingus, did you run here? What the hell?"

"Had to- hang on, Jesus. Holy shit." He bends over, hands on his knees, panting like he just ran a marathon. Which, she guesses, he almost did.

"You have a car, you lunatic, what could possibly be so important?"

"Didn't think about it. Had to get here."

"Is someone dead?!" Oh fuck, Is the Upside Down back? Oh shit, oh no, it can't be back, right? Superhero girl closed the gates! Right?! Oh god, oh no, oh fuck, it's back, the Russians are back, they realized they couldn't let her live after what she's seen, her parents will never even know what happened to her, and they'll kill Dingus too, and dorky little Henderson, and that menace Erica, oh god, they're gonna die, and Hopper's gone and superhero girl is far away and she doesn't have superpowers anymore anyway, which is frankly bogus because what the hell, Robin never even got to hang out with a real live magic person before, which, ok, that's a selfish thought, but that's ok, we can think selfish thoughts and then set them aside and not act on them, thoughts are not actions, thoughts happen all the time without our consent, they don't determine our character-

"Bobs, you're spiraling. Nothing bad happened, I just realized something and I freaked out and I had to talk to you right away. Forgot to call. Sorry, I should have called. Ran straight out of the house. I don't even think my shoes match, what the fuck?"

She's gonna kill him, she really is.

She loves him so much.

"Jesus, you're insane. Sit, you absolute dweeb. I'm getting you some water, when I get back you can tell me what the hell is going on."

He's sitting on her bed when she gets back upstairs, staring at something in his hands. Christ, his hands are shaking. What the fuck, Dingus?

He takes the water and downs it in one go- ugh, sports guys- then flops onto his back and covers his eyes with a miserable groan.

"I know we've got the whole twin telepathy thing going on, bubba, but I'm gonna need at least a little bit to work with here. Give me something. Is it your parents? The kids? Uh, what was her name? From Thursday? Janice?"

"Janine, and no. Ugh. Here." The arm not covering his eyes flops out towards her, holding- ah. A zine. He had promised to drive up to Indy last weekend to the secret bookshop she told him about and get her some new ones, even though she couldn't go with him because her cousin Randy got caught cheating on his fiancée and her parents made her come with the rest of the family to help him move. Fucking Randy. Maybe he should make better choices, so the rest of them wouldn't have to clean up his messes. Jerk.

Anyway.

"Marked the page." Which, yep, there's a purple paper clip stuck to a page near the middle, because Steve knows how much she hates people who dogear books, even books that aren't really books at all, so he's been training himself out of it, because he's sort of the best. Again, 16 year old Robin would have her committed for thinking that, but here we are.

The pamphlet isn't one of the periodicals she sent him for, so he must have picked it up on his own. It looks handmade, just some folded sheets that look like they came out of a typewriter, bound with the kind of twine you can buy at the hardware store. It's called Awakenings. The page he's marked looks like a personal essay, no title, no real signature, just a pair of initials at the end of the page and a half of writing. She starts reading, trying to figure out what the hell spooked Steve so bad.

"I've always been normal. I've always had crushes on men, just like the other girls. There was never a feeling of "I'm different," or "Oh, this is wrong." There was never anything to think very hard about. I'd giggle and blush when the boys looked over at us on the playground, same as everyone else. Later on when I was older I looked at my poster of Harrison Ford, shirtless and hairy and sweating, and I touched myself, and it felt good, just like it was supposed to. I didn't mind thinking of my future husband, and our future kids, and the pretty house with the pretty garden we'd have, just like my parents have, just like they wanted for me. I was normal. Everything was fine.

I thought everything about me was normal. So I didn't understand why the other girls at sleepover parties would giggle and stop and say "Ew, gross!" when we practiced kissing. It felt nice! I wanted to keep going! But it seemed like no one else did. I didn't understand why none of them talked about getting butterflies in their stomach when Laura, who was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen, transferred in our senior year, why they seemed so angry at her. Those butterflies were what jealousy felt like, right? So why did the other girls seem to feel so different?

I made my first lesbian friend in college, on the very first day, right across the hall in my dorm. We sat next to each other at Orientation and I thought I'd never have another best friend that wonderful in my whole life, so I'd hold on to her with everything I had. She came out to me the night before Christmas break, hiding under the blankets in my dorm room with the twinkling lights glowing. She was so scared. I held her and told her I loved her no matter what, and she seemed so glad, to have someone to talk to.

When she talked about falling in love with girls, I was so confused. The way she described it sounded like what it felt like to have girlfriends, I was sure. I felt that all the time. I asked her if she was sure she was gay, and she looked so shocked and angry and hurt, and I didn't know how to fix it, so I tried to explain. That what she felt couldn't be liking girls, because I felt that too, and I was normal. I liked boys, so I couldn't be gay. I couldn't be.

I'm glad it was her I said all that to. If someone else had told me about being bisexual, I think I would have hated them. I would have cried, and screamed, and said horrible things. Because I wasn't gay, I was normal, and it was so scary to think that might be a lie. Thank God it was her, my best friend in the world, who I never want to lose. Thank God I listened.

Because I'm not normal. I'm queer. I like men, and I like women. I can love them both the same, but it doesn't matter anymore, because I love her. I love her, and she loves me, and I don't need to be normal anymore."

Robin's face feels wet, which probably means she's crying. She cries a lot, reading these sorts of stories, in the zines she has to keep hidden under her bed, or, these days, at Steve's house. It's never going to be her, she knows. Not here in Hawkins, but it still makes something ache deep inside her, like pressing on a bruise, but in a good way, seeing love happen to other people. People like her. Seeing that it can.

"So?"

Oh shit. Right, Dingus. They're about him right now. Something about this essay in particular freaked him out.

"Uh. It's. A nice essay? I'm glad things worked out for them?"

Stevie lets out a pathetic whine, sort of like back at Scoops when he earned a particularly bad tally on the You Suck board. "Robbiiiiiiieeeee!"

"I'm sorry! I think I'm missing something, what's wrong with this essay? I don't get it, bubba, I'm sorry. I need some context." She does feel bad. Usually she can pluck whatever's bothering him right out of his brain and into the light, where it almost never looks as bad, but she's at a loss right now.

He's got both hands over his face again, and his response is so muffled she can't make out a word.

"Try again in human sounds, please."

"Ugh! I thought everyone felt like that!"

Huh? "Felt like...what, exactly?"

"Like that!" He flails wildly at the pamphlet in her hands. He's sitting up now, hair all askew from tugging at it, and there's a vaguely worrying crazed look in his eye, like right before he tackled that guard. "Like kissing boys and girls both feel nice, and like seeing a handsome guy and feeling jealous of him makes my stomach flutter, and like having friends feels the same as having crushes! I thought that was just how everyone felt all the time!"

Oh.

Oh.

Oh no.

Poor Dingus! No wonder he panicked and ran here like a crazy person!

"Stevie, can I hug you? Please?" She's not much for physical touch most of the time, but Steve is, and also she's found in the last few months that she doesn't mind so much when it's him. She sort of understands why other people like hugs so much, if they always feel like hugging Steve feels for her. And she really thinks he needs to be hugged, right now.

He nods miserably. She drapes her arms around his shoulders and holds on as tight as she can, hauling him sideways until he's practically laying down on her. He clutches her back and buries his face in her shoulder. She can feel her neck getting wet with tears, a sensation that would normally make her want to claw off her own skin, but this isn't about her. Dingus needs her.

"It's ok, bubba. I'm so sorry. I know how scary this is. When I first figured out I had a crush on Linda Sanderson I cried so hard I threw up, you know? I get it. It's gonna be ok, I promise. We'll make it ok. We faced down evil Russians and giant meat monsters, what's a little sexuality crisis, huh? We got this! We're the goddamn Wonder Twins!"

He snorts at that, which she's pretty sure leaves snot on her neck, which. Ew. Still. Problems for Later Robin.

"We are not, Will and El are the Wonder Twins."

"Uh, nope, no chance, I barely even met them so therefore I am vetoing their application. Sorry kiddos, better luck next time! Find your own nickname, losers!"

Steve sits back, laughing, and she preens a little at being able to bring him back from the brink so easily. She loves him so much she feels like she's glowing with it, sometimes. It almost makes her wish she was straight, because what girl is she ever going to find who loves her this much? But only almost, because. Well. Girls, amiright? Phew.

"So what now, Stevie? You wanna say it out loud? That helps, sometimes. You wanna not say it out loud? You wanna go to a gay bar and find you a boy? You wanna never think about it again? It's totally your call."

"Say it out loud, huh?"

"Hm. It took me like a month, and then the first time I could only say it sitting in the back of my closet with the bedroom door locked and the closet door closed, and I could only whisper it. Just "I'm a lesbian," to myself, like the world's most ironic little goblin. And I had to throw up again after. But it did feel good, once I rinsed my mouth out, anyway. Cleansing, you know? And it gets easier every time." Steve's eyebrows are raised and he's chuckling again, so that's a win. She's not lying, but it is sort of funny, she supposes. In hindsight, anyway.

"Ok. Ok, I can do that. I think. Yeah, I can do that."

She's so proud of him. He's the bravest person she's ever met, she thinks. "You wanna get in the closet?"

"Isn't the whole point to come out of the closet, Robs?" He's smirking at her. Bastard. She whacks him in the shoulder on principle. He may be having a crisis, but he's still a jackass. Her favorite jackass in the whole world, but still.

"Har har, you're a regular Bob Hope. Alright then, bigshot, let's hear it."

A little of that fear creeps back onto his face, and she wishes she could wipe it off, but that's not how this works. They can't make the scary things less scary. He couldn't make the Russians less terrifying, but he could hold her hand and make her laugh and carry some of that fear with her. She can do that for him now, too.

She grabs his hand, and he clutches back tightly. He takes a deep breath.

"I'm...fuck. Ok. Ok, I can do this. I'm...bisexual." The air leaves him in a big whoosh, and he laughs a little. "Yeah, ok, fuck. I'm bisexual. Holy shit, Robbie, I'm bisexual!"

"Hell yeah you are!" She's grinning so hard her cheeks hurt. She's so fucking proud of him.

He's laughing again, a little hysterically, and he hugs her tight again, and she holds him back just as close and thinks oh, he's like me. I'm not alone. I have Steve, and he's like me, and he's mine forever and ever.

When they separate, she looks at him seriously.

"So do you, like, want this to be a thing? Because we can totally make it a thing, and like, get me a fake ID and go to a gay bar and do all kinds of wild shit if you want, but we don't have to, you know? If you need to just, like. Digest this, for a while. It's totally up to you, I just know it took me a while to feel ok with it, and I have no idea if it's different for you but I just want to be what you need, you know? You've been so good with me, and I've never had a queer friend before, so I don't know how, but I want to be just as good to you. You're my Dingus and I love you and I don't know how much of a gay guru I can be on account of, you know, I've never met any gay people besides me and the pretty lady at the bookstore but I couldn't even get real human words to come out of my mouth when I tried to talk to her so I don't think that counts, you know? But I still wanna help! Let me help!"

"Bobbie! Bobbie breathe, you're gonna pass out. I don't think I need a gay guru, I just need a gay best friend, and I have that, so I promise I'm good, ok? Promise. Also I love you too.”

She takes a deep breath, following his lead the way they worked out in the horrible days after Starcourt, when she couldn't sleep without him next to her, warm and alive and breathing, and even then she would wake up in the night with her breath coming short and her vision tunneling and Steve would hold her hand against his chest and breathe slowly, in and out, until she could follow him, and the world wasn't so terrible and scary and loud anymore.

She still thinks about that awful hour underground, thinking she was strapped to the corpse of a boy she never let become her friend, but Steve is always there now when she needs him, and he never complains when she grabs his wrist or puts her head on his chest to make absolutely sure that big, stupid heart is still beating.

When she's breathing normally again, he drops their joined hands down between them, toying idly with the chain linking her ring to her bracelet. "I think...I think I'm glad I said it, and I'm glad we talked about it, but can we maybe just...put it away, for a while? Like it's not...ugh. I guess this is kind of shitty to say, so like, hit me if you want, I guess, but I kind of don't think it matters right now?"

"No no, that makes perfect sense! Like, you still like girls, right?" He nods. "And you don't like. Have a crush on any boys right now. Or do you? Oh man if you do you have to tell me though, it's platonic soulmate law. It's in the bylaws, Steve, don't make me soulmate fine you!"

He laughs and shoves her face away. "Jesus, Rob, no! I don't have a crush on any guys, who would I even crush on in this town? We're not exactly swimming in eligible bachelors. I don't have a crush on anybody at all, I'd tell you, I swear. I know the rules!"

"Oh phew, good. You have to tell me when you do, though, I'm way excited to get you back for making fun of Tammy."

"It was the God's honest truth, Bobbie! She sings like a muppet!"

"Oh my god, shut up, Dingus! Ugh! As I was saying, you super duper have to tell me when you do, but for now, I think maybe you don't have to think about it really at all if you don't want. I mean, practically speaking, it's not really relevant to your everyday life, so we can totally revisit when that changes, but you don't have to like. Join a pride parade tomorrow, you know? You are you who are no matter what. You don't have to prove anything to anyone, especially not to me, not ever."

He leans his head on her shoulder, and she scritches her nails through his hair. It really has no right being as soft as it is, with the amount of hairspray he uses. It's frankly rude, is what it is.

"Thanks, Bobs. I think I'm just gonna put it away for now. It just...another thing to know about me, you know? Like, I'm bad at fighting people but good at fighting monsters, all my best friends are kids except you, I'm bi but it doesn't matter because there aren't any boys to date in Hawkins anyway. Plus my dad would kill me if he found out. Like actually kill me, not "oh geez I missed curfew, my dad's gonna kill me" type kill me, like I think he'd actually try and beat me to death. So there's really no reason to talk about it right now, you know?"

There's a pit of ice in her stomach, and she tightens her arm around him like she can keep him safe just by holding on tight enough. She hates how casually he said that, just like she hates how casually he always talks about how his parents treat him, like he honestly believes it's normal. "Jesus, Dingus. You know you can come here if you need, right? My parents love you, they already think we're getting married. They'd make you sleep in the guest room, but I could sneak you in here easy."

He snorts again. "We're totally gonna end up married for tax reasons anyway, we're never beating the rumors." That makes her snort, too. He's not wrong, though. She isn't going to be allowed to have a wife anytime soon, and if she has to choose someone to be her next of kin, it's always gonna be him. They're planning to move in together when she goes to school next year anyway. No one is ever gonna believe them that they aren't dating, but that's...fine. Honestly, there are worse things. Better to have Steve by her side than not, and if no one else understands them, well, they understand each other, don't they? That's more than enough.

"Yeah, I know I can come here if I need, Robs. It's fine mostly, I swear. They're not home until Christmas anyway."

He takes another deep breath, like he's settling himself. "I'm just glad we talked about it. I feel better now."

She cards her fingers through his hair again, basking in the feeling of her favorite person so close, and so content. "I'm glad, Dingus."

They're alive, and they're together, and they're queer, and neither of them is ever going to have to be alone again.

"Hang on, did you say you've kissed girls and boys?!"

part 2 part 3

[janeyseymour]

Hii

Can you write a Mel x reader where they go to the PECSA and there is only one bed available? They describe themselves as reaaaally good friends until everything changes.

Can you make it with a happy ending? Ty ❤️

I hope this is what you were asking for!

What happens at PECSA...

WC: ~3k

“PECSA,” Melissa grins. “Here we come!” She turns in her seat to glance at you sitting in the back. Barb and her had been kind enough to let you tag along with them.

“Oh, Y/N,” Barb chuckles as she drives. “You have no idea what you just got yourself into tagging along with the two of us.”

“I know what I got myself out of by not going with Janine and Jacob,” you giggle. “I still don’t know how Gregory puts up with the two of them sometimes.”

“Love does weird things to that man,” Barb makes a face. “God, I can’t wait to not have to listen to those lectures and relax in a hot tub instead. I’ve been around a while, I don’t know why I’m still required to go to these things”

“I’m ready for a couple of math-o-ritas, and then I’ll be schmoozing all of the different companies to get them to donate supplies to Abbott,” Melissa cheers from her seat.

You, on the other hand, aren’t quite sure what to expect. The last time you went to PECSA, you mostly just kept to yourself and kept your head down. You were a new teacher, and you figured you should at least look like you were trying. But that was last year. Now, you have Melissa and Barbara to help you out, and if the three of you get caught not participating... you’re sure one of them will get you out of the sticky situation.

It takes you a bit longer to get to your destination, and both senior teachers are all grins once you’re finally there.

“Oh, PECSA,” Melissa sighs in content as she grabs her bags. “How I’ve missed you.”

“Come on, Melissa,” Barbara laughs. “If we want to be able to raid the minibar before the opening dinner, we have to get in there! Now!”

The redhead all but rolls her eyes as she moves out of the way, allowing the kindergarten teacher to grab her various bags.

“Jeez, Barbara,” you laugh as you look at the amount of things she’s packed for a weekend. You have one duffel bag and a backpack filled with everything you could possibly need, and she has... is that really five bags?

“I’m very serious about my nighttime routine, Y/N,” she says lowly. “I don’t look this good by doing nothing, you know.”

“C’mon, you two,” the redhead teases the two of you. “Let’s go check in and get settled in.”

You let Melissa and Barbara check in first before you step up to the counter. 

“Checking in for Y/N,” you say politely.

The clerk clicks around a few times on his computer before giving you a look. “I don’t have a reservation under that name.”

You look baffled. You had booked your room months in advance- you had booked it with Melissa’s guidance because she knew a guy who could get you a good deal. “That’s impossible, you say softly. I booked my room months ago.”

“Did you get a confirmation email?” The concierge asks.

“I did,” you mumble as you pull out your phone, searching for it. You pull it up as proof.

Your coworkers are watching curiously. It hadn’t taken that long for them to check in.

“You think she’s okay?” Melissa leans in close to Barb.

“I’m not sure,” the kindergarten teacher replies. “She looks a little frazzled.”

“I’ll check on ‘er,” the redhead tells her friend. “Watch my stuff.”

“You okay?” Melissa comes up behind you and sets a hand on your shoulder.

You take a shaky breath. “Fine. They just messed up my reservation, so now they’re looking to see where they can put me, and they’re figuring out how much I get back since I won’t be put in as nice of a-”

“They fucked up your reservation?” the redhead cuts you off. “Oh... Vinnie’s gonna get an earful about this one.”

“It’s okay,” you lay a hand on her arm. “It’s fine. It’s all gonna get squared away, and then we can focus on having a good time at PECSA.”

“No, I’m gonna-” Melissa looks like something has triggered her ‘fight-or-fight’ response.

“It’s okay,” you promise her. “It’s all gonna be fine. Things happen, mistakes happen.”

She doesn’t look very happy, but she does take a breath. If you say it’s fine, she’s trusting you. She goes over and tells Barb what’s happening, and they both come and stand at your sides.

Except then the clerk is coming back over to you, and he doesn't look too excited to share whatever news he has with you.

“Miss Y/N, I am so sorry,” he states quietly. “We’re operating at maximum capacity for this weekend due to the conference, and we will not be able to fit you in. We are in the process of providing a full refund to you as we-”

“What the hell?” Melissa asks from behind you. “How’d you goof up that bad?”

“Mel, it’s okay,” you say quietly. “I’ll just find a different hotel to stay in.”

“No, you’re not,” the second grade teacher bites out. “Because you’ll be staying with me in my room.”

“And we expect a full refund for her,” Barbara cuts in. “And some sort of credit. It’s the least you can do for the poor girl.”

“Guys, it’s fine,” you turn red. They’re fighting for you, and the idea of staying with Melissa? Well... you’ve had a thing for her since you first started at Abbott, but it’s never gone anywhere past coworkers. Staying with Melissa could be dangerous territory if you weren’t careful.

“Like hell we’re gonna let you stay somewhere,” the redhead tells you seriously as she picks up your bags. “The plan is to get hammered, and there ain’t no way I’m lettin’ you take an Uber to and from a different hotel.”

“She’ll be accepting an apology in some form of credit,” Barbara hits the concierge with a stern look again before the three of you walk away.

“Maybe I should just go-”

“Go where, kid?” Melissa rolls her eyes. “Barb drove, so you’re stuck here. Might as well make the best of it, yeah? Now, are you gonna share a room with me, or spend your time on one of these nasty ass couches in the lobby?”

“I don’t really have a choice, do I?” you ask.

“Nope,” the redhead pops her ‘p’. “Let's go, hon. If we hurry we can still get a couple of glasses of wine in before tonight’s event.”

The three of you get into the elevator and head for your rooms. 

“I’ll meet you down at the pool in an hour?” Barb asks. At yours and Melissa’s nods, she lets herself into her room next to Melissa’s... and now yours too.

The redhead unlocks your door and gestures for you to go first. You look around. This place is... wow. It’s really nice. Whatever her cousin Vinnie did to get her this nice of a room had to have been pretty big. You set your things on the floor over by the rather uncomfortable looking couch that is taking up space on the other side of the room.

“Oh come on, Y/N,” Melissa chuckles. “You can put your stuff on the bed.”

“I wouldn’t want to intrude,” you mutter nervously, tucking a hair behind your ear and rubbing your collar bone gently.

“You ain’t intruding. I invited you to stay with me for the weekend,” she says pointedly. She glances at where you’ve decided to set your things. “And you’re not sleeping on that ratty ass couch, so don’t even try it.”

“You don’t think this is... weird for us to share a bed?”

“It ain’t weird if you don’t make it weird,” your colleague shrugs as she reaches for her bag. She pulls out a couple of shooters. “Now, are you ready to get PECSA weekend started or what?”

You, Barb, and Melissa end up by the pool an hour later. You had made your appearance, and now you were fully taking advantage of the fact that everybody else was so preoccupied with PECSA events that you had the entire pool room to yourselves.

“Best weekend of the year,” the kindergarten teacher raises her glass. 

“Seriously,” Melissa responds. “Bottomless margs, a heated pool, and a relaxing weekend with two of my favorite people.” While Barb smiles, you blush. You didn’t know you were that high up on her list. You honestly weren’t even sure you were on her good list to begin with, so hearing that you were in ranks with the kindergarten teacher definitely took you by surprise.

“To PECSA,” you say quietly and take off your coverup before reaching for your book. You miss the way that Melissa’s eyes check you out, just like how you had missed it in the hotel room.

You end up falling asleep not much later, a glass of mimosa sitting next to you, and your novel is open and laying on your chest.

Melissa looks over to you. “Wow.” She can’t remember the last time she’s seen you so still- so at peace. You were always running around at Abbott, and even when you were sitting, a part of your body was almost always bouncing up and down. Now, you just look calm. You look... gorgeous. Even with your hair tied up carelessly and no makeup on, Melissa thought you looked absolutely stunning. 

“Poor girl’s been working herself so hard this year,” Barbara tuts. “She’s been exhausted lately.”

That was not what the redhead was referring to, but she’ll play along. “I know,” she laughs nervously. “We’ve barely been here for an hour, and she’s already fallin’ asleep on us. Hope she can keep up with us later tonight.”

“It’s a good thing we were there when the clerk told her there wasn’t any more room,” Barb says, lips turned up. “Otherwise the poor thing would’ve probably Ubered home and not enjoyed this weekend with us.”

“Yeah,” the second grade teacher says noncommittally. She’s still got her eyes on you. She doesn’t think she’s ever seen you looking more beautiful than you do dozing off in the lounge chair. 

“Are you gonna be okay this weekend sharing the place with her?” She knows about Melissa’s little thing for you. She knows how much the redhead cares about you, and she understands how strong the other woman’s feelings are for you.

“I’ve held it together for this long, I can do it for another weekend,” Melissa rolls her eyes. “I have to. I ain’t jeopardizing our friendship.”

“But this weekend you have to share a room,” the kindergarten teacher argues.

“A bed,” Melissa coughs out awkwardly. “We’re sharing a bed. It's totally normal. Friends share beds all the time. I told her I wasn’t going to let her sleep on that ratty ass couch they have in there. But I’ll be... I’ll be fine.”

“You sure about that?” Barbara teases. 

“I’ll be fine. It’ll be fine. Everything will be just... I’ll be fine.”

“Say it one more time, and I’ll believe you,” the older teacher chuckles. 

“I’ll be fine,” Melissa huffs. She takes her eyes off of you to take a sip of her drink. “I just can't get too hammered now.”

That’s what she said. But that was also four hours ago, and five drinks ago. You three are currently down at one of the parties. Barbara is speaking with a few of the handlers from different supply companies, you have had your fair share of drinks and are starting to stumble, and Melissa refuses to leave your side. She glares down pretty much anybody who even thinks about trying to talk to you.

Someone from Addington decides that they don’t give a damn about Melissa’s harsh looks and has to come over to attempt to flirt with you. You’ve made it quite clear you are having no parts of it, but he just won’t leave you alone. Melissa doesn’t like this one bit. She doesn’t intervene just yet though. She knows you are a strong independent woman who can handle this- unless you give her some sort of signal to ask for help.

“I’m really okay,” you slur out. “I don’ wan’ another. Thanks-s though.”

He just keeps trying to get you to drink another one, trying to make conversation with you even though you aren’t interested. He’s ignoring the fact that the redhead is right there with you too. You give Melissa a look that she interprets to be a plea for help. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t, but that’s how she takes it.

“Hey, asshole,” the second grade teacher finally taps his shoulder. “She said she ain’t interested, so beat it.”

“And who are you?” he looks her over. “Old, washed up-”

“I’d watch it if I were you,” Melissa glares him down. “Now get outta here, before I help you outta here.”

“Who even are you?” the charter teacher asks. 

Melissa, thinking that you are too inebriated to remember this tomorrow, bites the bullet. She wraps her arms around your waist and helps to steady you. “Her girlfriend. Now, seriously: beat it before I beat you.”

“Damn,” he puts his hands up in surrender as he walks away. “The hot ones always turn out to be gay.”

You’re intoxicated, but not because of the copious amount of tequila you’ve had tonight. No, it’s because of a certain coworker's arms being snaked around your waist and holding onto you tightly. 

“I think maybe it’s time for bed,” Melissa tells you gently as she continues to hold you up. You giggle as you lean into her, fully embracing how close you are and loving it.

“You’re- you’re warm,” you tell her. “I like that about you.”

“Well, yeah,” she laughs as she guides you towards where Barbara is sitting. “Hey, Barb. I think this one’s had enough, so I’m gonna take her up to the room and get her to bed, but I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Barb!” You try to launch yourself at the veteran teacher.

“Oh! Y/N!” the kindergarten teacher laughs. She lets you hug her, quietly mouthing, ‘Is she okay?’ to Melissa. At the redhead’s nod, she mouths, ‘Are you okay?’ to which Melissa nods again.

“Alright, sweetheart,” the second grade teacher helps pry you off of Barbara. “I think it’s about time we get up to our room and into bed.”

“Mhmm,” you hum. “As long as- as long as you stay with me.”

“I never said nothin’ ‘bout leaving,” she assures you. “Now c’mon.” 

The two of you somehow manage to get back up to the room, and at this point, Melissa is practically dragging you. She keeps one arm looped around your waist while she tries to open the door for you. It unlocks, and she pushes it open before guiding you to the bed.

“Sleep, hon,” Melissa instructs. 

“Don’ wanna sleep in this,” you gesture to the dress you’re wearing. She can’t necessarily blame you- it doesn’t look terribly comfortable.

“Okay, hon,” she sighs. She opens your duffel, blushing immediately. “Is there anything specific you want in here?”

“My t-shirt,” you mumble, already curled up on your side of the bed. She digs through your duffel bag, only to realize you forgot to pack a night shirt. Thank god she packed an extra. She quickly goes to her side of the bed and finds the spare shirt. 

She throws the shirt at you and instructs you to change, but you’re still struggling after several minutes. With a sigh, Melissa knows she’s going to have to help you change. She wishes she was undressing you, not helping you redress.

Once you’re finally changed, she helps you slip into bed and pulls the blankets up and around you. The teacher moves a few stray hairs away from your face before tracing a gentle line down your cheek with the pad of her thumb.

“Mel,” you whine when she pulls her hand away from your face. “Don’t go.”

“I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart,” she promises you. “I’m just gonna change for bed myself, and then I’ll be right back, yeah?” You nod, and she walks into the bathroom with her own pajamas.

She takes a long time in the bathroom. You’re struggling to keep your eyes open, but you don’t want to fall asleep without her arms around you- they are safe. Secure. When she comes out, she’s shocked to see that you’re still awake.

“Hey sleepyhead,” she chuckles. “I thought you’d be asleep by now.”

“Waiting for you,” you try, but fail, to stifle a yawn. “C’mon.”

She climbs into bed, and you waste no time wiggling your way into her arms. You tangle

your legs together and force her to hold you as you rest your head on her shoulder.  

“You good, hon?” Melissa asks you gently, just barely daring to press a kiss to your hair.

“Wish we could do this sober,” you mumble, sleep threatening to take you. “But ‘m too nervous to say anything to you when not drunk.”

The redhead is fairly certain she’s hallucinating. Did you just admit you wished you could cuddle with her? Lay in bed with her and fall asleep in her arms?

“Well, sweetheart,” the second grade teacher sighs heavily. “Let’s just get past tonight, see what you remember tomorrow, and then we can talk.”

You nod. You’re still drunk, but you’re pretty aware of everything that is happening, and you know you’ll remember all of this tomorrow. But it’s that extra little bite that liquid courage gives you that allows you to say, “I love you, Mel,” before you tighten your grip on her and give in to sleep. 

Melissa’s eyes widen slightly, but she doesn’t hesitate in saying, “I love you too, Y/N.” She presses a sweet kiss to the side of your head, and prays to God that when the two of you wake up everything is okay.

Next

[spicybleach]

Too Sweet: Melissa Schemmenti x Kassandra (me)

Prompt: Based off the song Too Sweet by Hozier (This song has me in a chokehold and reminds me of Melissa ❤️) Kassandra wasn’t an early bird, I know why become a teacher since they wake up at the ass crack of dawn. She loved working with kids, especially back in the Bronx where she lived in poverty until college. Her being the honorary big sister to all the neighborhood kids, she found her passion.

Translation of a couple words:

My love/darling: habibi حبيبي (Arabic)

My little sunflower: il mio piccolo girasole (Italian)

Warnings: Fluff,Alcohol consumption.

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Philly was a mini Bronx to Kassandra and she felt right at home. She was looking forward to her new neighborhood and teaching second grade this year. Kassandra just finished her degree to be a teacher at Abbot Elementary. When picking what school she was going to be at, her fellow classmates warned her about the questionable school and a certain someone Melissa Schemmenti. According to the others, Melissa was mean, a bully even to any new teacher that walked into the place. Nobody lasted there, ever, well except Janine. The young teacher wasn’t phased by that at all. She decided so was going to move to Philly and be the best damn teacher ever.

Weeks before the kiddos were set to be back in the classroom all buzzing with excitement from their summer break, telling their friends, teachers and anyone who would listen to what shenanigans they got into in the summer. There was rumors a foot going around about a new teacher at Abbot. Ava, the principal sent a group text to the group chat she has with her teacher friends. Ava would use the word friend loosely, Janine being her biggest annoyance thus far.

Anyways, Kassandra arrived at the school to start setting up her classroom. With papers falling out of a box, dropping a couple pens and highlighters on the front step. Kassandra groans turning around to pick everything up, ‘ Please let this go smoothly’ she thought to herself. Suddenly this bright eyed, enthusiastic man grabs the door for you.

“ Oops I’m sorry, let me help you.” The man smiled. Kassandra smiles back, “Thank you.” She heads into the door and stopping in her tracks. Woah, she quietly says to herself but the man behind her still hears her.

“ I know. Amazing isn’t it?. OH!” The man exclaims, “I’m Jacob by the way and you?” He reaches his hand out to shake yours.

“Kassandra.” She said with a smile.

“ Oh my god? You’re the new teacher?!.” Jacob says jumping a little.

“Yes that is me, can you tell?” Kassandra said shyly.

“ Yeah but it’s okay the crew and I will help you with anything you need. Come on, let’s go to the break room!” Jacob grabs her arm guiding her to the noisy room where everyone is at.

“ Guys!” Jacob slams through the door.

“ Oh hello Jacob good to see you hun!.” A much older black teacher turns from the table.

“ Everyone this is our new teacher Kassandra.” Jacob excitedly says and she walks from behind him still struggling to carry all this stuff.

“ Hi everyone it’s nice to meet you.” Kassandra said from behind her box.

“ Oh dear, here put your stuff down. Don’t wanna hurt yourself. I’m Mrs Howard but you can call me Barbra.” The older teacher helps her put your things on the table so she won’t drop any more items.

“ Nice to meet you Barb.” Kassandra smiled and let out a sigh of relief from all that weight.

Two more teachers walk in along with principal Ava.

“ Gregory! Janine! Ava! This is our new teacher Kassandra.” Jacob said enthusiastically as they walked into the room.

“ Nice to meet you.” Gregory and Janine said in unison.

Janine loves to talk and well that’s what she did asking you questions about Kassandra’s life, school ect. Everyone sat and listened to her tell a few stories about her upbringing, school life you name it. Finally, Melissa walks in, “Melissa! There you are sweetheart. Come meet our newest teacher yes?.” Barbra stands from the table greeting the fiery redhead with a hug. Kassandra turns around to face Melissa. Melissa gets a wif of her sweet perfume as she swings her hair around. For a split second, Melissa felt like she was in an episode of the twilight zone. Time stood still, My god, she’s beautiful. Barb nudges her friend in the arm knocking her from her thoughts. “ Come on don’t be rude, say hi.” Barb said with a smile gesturing her friend towards Kassandra. The beautiful young black woman stood before her, also being the same height as Melissa herself but Mel being a little taller especially in heels.

“Hi, I’m Kassandra, it’s nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard things about you.” She reached her hand out and the red head takes it. Melissa gives her a look, scanning her body fairly quickly to where no one but Barb notices.

“Hi, I’m Melissa. Good things I hope.” Melissa smirks taking a step back after they shook hands. What Melissa doesn’t see is her best friend Barb behind her smiling like she was offered a glass of the finest wine.

“Mmm, I’ll be the judge of that.” Kassandra smirks, licking her bottom lip ever so slightly. That draws Melissa’s attention to her lips, a piercing? She thought to herself, it was one of those labret piercings that goes up and down on her lip, ah a horizontal labret; nice.

“ Alright kid, let me show you to your room, it’s just right across the hall from mine.” Melissa says grabbing a heavy box of Kassandra’s things from the table. Kassandra follows gorgeous red head to her new classroom. Melissa wasn’t as mean as Kassandra thought. Kassandra started her tasks already knowing what she wants to do for her classroom.

Melissa tilted her head to the side a bit, “ Sunflowers?” The lovely red said picking up a sunflower decoration from the box.

Kassandra turns around from what she’s doing and flashes a smile, “Yeah, I love sunflowers. See.” The beautiful young teacher showed Melissa her right hand in her ring finger, a sunflower finger tattoo. Melissa lightly grabs the woman’s hand, “Cute.” Oh my god, I’m touching her hand, again. Schemmenti what has gotten into you, Melissa thought to herself.

“ Well, if you need anything I’ll just be in the room across the hall.” Melissa said still holding the younger woman’s hand.

“ Oh I’ll definitely hold that against you, anytime.” Kassandra blushes, turning her face a little so Mel doesn’t see her face. And with that Melissa left, her perfume overtook Kassandra’s nostrils, hammering the scent in her brain; it was intoxicating but in a good way.

Melissa found her way back to the break room where her best friend Barb is. Barb looks up from what she was doing at the table, “mmm.” was all the woman said. Melissa rolled her eyes taking a seat next to her, “ What Barb?.” The red head folded her arms across her chest.

“Oh nothing.” Barb paused for a second, “ You just looked like you were a deer caught in headlights right about now, wanna talk about it?.” Barb gently placed her hand on top of her friends.

“No, thank you. I’m good.” Melissa said nonchalantly but deep down she DOES want to talk about it because what is happening to her? Is this some type of sick prank being pulled or what?. The red head let out the biggest sigh. Barb hits her arm lightly, “ Oh come on dear I know you wanna talk.” Melissa grunts, “Fine.” She gets up from her seat.

“ You know me Barb right.” Melissa said running her hands through her long red locs.

“ Melissa, sweetheart you are scaring me. I’ve never seen you like this except for well if the eagles lost a game and game season is over so what is this about?. “ Barb said frowning going up to her friend holding her hands in hers.

“ Barb I-I don’t know. It’s her.” Melissa said almost a whisper on the last part. Finally Barb clicked two and two together.

“ Sweetheart, I seen the way you looked at her earlier and I only know that look because I get like that with my Gerald.” Barb said with a smile, Melissa’s expression softens.

“ For a moment, it’s like I wasn’t even here you know? I just couldn’t breathe and- and I get this weird pit in my stomach everytime I looked at her.” Melissa said in a panic, Barb pulled her friend into a hug.

“ Look, you might just have a crush on her like you did with that fireman.” Barb shrugs her shoulders, “ Or- maybe you could be developing feelings yes?.” Melissa looked at her friend, “ What? No?. I don’t have a crush Barb you’re reading too much into just one interaction we had.” Barb sighed, shaking her finger at her. “No Melissa, I know what I saw. I’ve known you for how long? You think I can’t read you?” Barb chuckles a bit, “ This isn’t the hard to get Melissa Schemmenti, I don’t know what it is yet but I know you have the biggest heart of any of the people I’ve ever met. Why not have a conversation with her and see where it goes hmm?.” Melissa gives Barb a glare, one that kills. Maybe Barb is right. She does have a crush and boy does Melissa and Barb know it. Unbeknownst to the duo, Mr Johnson and Ava creep outside the hallway getting front row seats to this budding romance.

“ I got 500 that Melissa and Kassandra get together.” Ava whispers, “Deal.” Mr Johnson said quietly and returning to whatever shenanigans he was up too. Nothing gets past Ava in her school.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1 year later and a short flashback:

Melissa became very fond of the young black woman. They have a few things in common like drinking wine, the love of Italian food (especially Melissa’s Italian food when Mel would bring leftovers to work with her reserved especially for her il mio piccolo girasole. That was Melissa’s nickname for Kass, her little sunflower; she brightens up Mel’s day with her radiant smile, her gorgeous brown eyes Mel takes glances of when Kass isn’t looking. Also her nickname in Mel’s phone. Recently Kass called Mel, Habibi meaning my love/darling in Arabic. It took Mel by surprise but nonetheless she loved the cute pet name. Melissa should thank Janine for inviting Kass out for drinks one night with the crew because it made them closer, everyone knows Mel is too prideful to even do so.

On a Saturday night, Melissa invited the young woman over for some homemade lasagna and a good wine to pair the dish with along with a tiramisu for dessert. Melissa has planned this day for weeks, changing the menu a million times to what she thinks Kassandra would like, down to what outfit she was going to wear. Like Melissa told Kass, this isn’t a date it’s just dinner between two friends. Kassandra arrived in a short black dress that hugged her curves in the right places, paired with a black red bottom heel, her dark locs in messy boho braids, her perfume sweet. A bottle of wine tucked under her arm as she fumbled with her purse to get her phone out letting Melissa know she’s here.

The front door swings open revealing a well dressed Melissa. Her signature leather pants tight, a green tank top, that fucking leather jacket, her hair cascading around her, her makeup is soft. Kassandra smelled a familiar scent that overtook her nose. Melissa flashes her famous smile that’d make anyone melt.

“Hey hon. Is that wine I see? You look great.” Melissa smirks her one arm propping her up against the door frame and the other on her hip.

“ Hey habibi. Yes, it’s something I think we’ll both enjoy. Thank you, you as well as always.” Kassandra smiled back handing her the bottle. Melissa steps aside to let her in, closing the door behind the woman.

“ Ha- what?.” Melissa said trying to pronounce the word in her thick Philly accent. Kassandra laughs at the red head trying to pronounce the word.

“ My love/ darling. You gave me a little nickname or whatever so you needed one. After all I’m your il mio piccolo girasole after all.” Kassandra smiled up at the red head. Melissa liked loved the nickname. Melissa sat the wine bottle on the counter, grabbing two wine glasses from the cabinet, pouring two glasses for the both of them. Kassandra took a sip of wine from the glass, a little spilled out of her mouth. Melissa watched the bead of wine drip from her lips, running down her chin and landing on her busty chest. Melissa bit her lip, she knows it’s not the wine since they just opened the bottle.

“ Oops.” Kassandra wiped the bead of wine off her chest. Melissa watching her closely, the way her breast jiggled when she touched them briefly.

“So.” Melissa pauses swirling her finger around the rim of her glass, “ Hungry? I made lasagna and for dessert tiramisu.”

Kassandra’s eyes lit up knowing Melissa knows how much she enjoys her, her food.

“ I could eat.” Kassandra smirks against the glass in her mouth.

Melissa guides her to the dining room where the table is set and the only light in the room is candles. A singular sunflower sits on top of a plate on the table. Melissa takes the glass from Kassandra setting it by the plate with a sunflower.

“ Schemmenti, I thought this wasn’t a date?.” Kassandra said with a raised brow turning to the red head beside her.

“ Hon it’s not. Can’t a friend just give a friend a flower that reminds her of? Come sit I’ll get you a plate of that lasagna. Save room for dessert too.” Melissa gestures to the chair she pulled out for her. Kassandra walks over taking a sit in the chair. Melissa watched as her curves swayed when she walked. Melissa disappeared to the kitchen but not before she stole glances of the beautiful black woman sitting at her table. God she wishes SHE was the dessert for the night. Admiring the sunflower in her hand, Kassandra bring it up to her nose inhaling it’s scent. Melissa reappears with the plates of lasagna.

The conversation flows smoothly between the two women. The Italian music; loud, the laughter; even louder, Melissa’s feelings; electric. “ I’m gonna clean this up real quick and we can get to dessert.” Melissa stands from her chair taking all plates and glasses to the kitchen. Kassandra followed in toe. Melissa places the dishes in the sink.

“ I think I’m ready for dessert. Dinner was delicious.” Kassandra said leaning against the island. Melissa turns from the sink shooting the woman a smile.

“ I’m glad you liked it. Now,.” Melissa smiled, clapping her hands together, “ Let’s get you some of that dessert.” Melissa heads to the fridge bringing out a glass dish of the tiramisu, grabbing two forks as she heads over to the woman at the counter. Melissa hands Kassandra a fork , instantly digging in. “Well?” Melissa said with a raised brow waiting for an answer.

“ Oh my god.” Kassandra said with a mouthful, “ This is incredible habibi.” Melissa smiles taking a bite too. She watched the way the fork hit the young woman’s lips. Her red lipstick sticking to the fork, the way Kassandra’s tongue slide on and around it sent shivers down Mel’s spine. Oh god how pretty she’d look bent over the counter screaming my name, Melissa thought to herself. She’d never take advantage of her friend like that especially since they gone through 3 bottles of wine. “ I’m glad you like it hon.” Just then Melissa noticed a bit of whipped cream on her bottom lip. “ What?” Kassandra caught Mel staring a hole into her. “ Let me get that for you hon.” Melissa points to her lip. Stepping closer to her, their bodies now touching. Melissa takes her thumb wiping away the cream off her lip. Kassandra takes Mel’s hand licking off the whipped cream from her thumb. Melissa rests her hand on her face, it’s warm and soft to the touch. For a moment the world stopped for them both. Looking into each other’s eyes.

“ Thank you Mel.” Kassandra said softly leaning into the older woman’s hand more.

“ You’re welcome.” Melissa rubs her cheek with her thumb. Kassandra blushes hard. It was so quiet in fact, too quiet to where Melissa heard the woman’s heart beating from her touch. Melissa was close enough to kiss her but doesn’t because she respects her too much to do anything with them not being sober.

“ I’m getting sleepy habibi, I think I’m in a food coma.” Kassandra said pulling Melissa closer as if they aren’t close enough, laying her head on the redheads chest listening to her faint heartbeat. Melissa wraps her arms around the young woman. Her hands playing with her boho braids.

“ I’m glad you enjoyed the food il mio piccolo girasole. You aren’t driving home tonight. Come on let’s get you to bed hm?.” Melissa said caressing Kassandra’s face light with her hand, kissing the top of her head. And up the stairs they go, Melissa’s room is just as expected; warm like her hugs, beautiful and bright like her smile. Kassandra takes her dress off, leaving only her matching bra and thong. Melissa looks on, admiring the way her thong just hugs her curves, her bra concealing those soft plumped breasts. Melissa doing the same, going over to her closet looking for a t shirt.

“ Here.” Melissa said, throwing Kassandra a shirt and grabbing another for herself. Melissa turns around already in her shirt, Kassandra is on the other side of the bed struggling to put hers on. Melissa chuckles to herself, “ Hon, let me help you.” She walks over to the tipsy young woman. Her bra still being on, Melissa reaches around her and un clasps it, Kassandra’s breasts falling.

“ Why? I think I got it. Almost.” Kassandra whines still not being able to put the shirt on. Melissa pops her head through the top of the shirt, helping her slip her arms in the holes.

“ There we go. Now you’ve got it. You were struggling hon. You’re welcome. So um, you can sleep here and I’ll just take the couch okay? Goodnight.” Melissa said helping her on the bed. As she was walking away she felt a hand grab her arm.

“ No..” Kassandra choked out, “ Please sleep with me? Please.” Melissa looks at her beautiful brown eyes, damn it those beautiful eyes of hers. “ Yeah, of course.” A smile is painted around the young one’s face. Melissa gets in bed beside her, pulling the covers to let her in. Kassandra gets in, lying on Melissa’s chest with an arm draped over her stomach. Melissa pulls her a bit closer, Kassandra now lying on top of Mel.

“Habibi?” Kassandra spoke softly. That nickname just gets Melissa everytime.

“ Yes, il mio piccolo girasole?” Melissa smiles, caressing her face with one of her hands.

“ I had so much fun tonight, thank you for inviting me over. I love you.” Kassandra kisses Mel’s neck lightly, settling into her as she slowly drifts off to sleep.

“ I love you too.” Melissa kisses her forehead, playing with her hair as they both drift off to sleep.

This was one of many encounters the two unknown lovers had that would lead to their relationship and maybe even a marriage in the future.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HI GUYS! So I decided I’m gonna do this in parts because I’m just too excited about this. FEEDBACK IS MUCH APPRECIATED ❤️❤️❤️ part two is below: ⬇️ ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

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162 for 📖:

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His sister, Maddie. Who is crashing at his apartment until she can find her own place. After a hell of a lot of convincing to stay in L.A. in the first place, instead of continuing to run. 

It is because of the return of Maddie and Carla in his life, that the library, for Buck, starts blending between personal and professional again. After everything with Abby, Buck had said not again. Work is work. Life is life. He thought it was a sign of long-awaited maturity that he figured out then two necessitated separation. 

That has lasted four months. 

Four months, and apparently all the lines are blurred again. Not that he’s dating a coworker again. The new head librarian, Janine, is happily married with twins. So no risk of that. But, with Carla there at least once a week, and Maddie showing up most days for lunch or just company while she hunts for a job, there are fewer easy distinctions between work and personal life. 

Somehow - not the kid’s fault - Christopher Diaz only makes that more complicated.

The thing is, Chris quickly becomes Buck’s favorite kid. It’s actually a little startling how quickly it happens. 

It’s not that the other kids aren’t great. Well, some of them could use some more structure and manners. Not the point. The point is that there’s something special about Christopher, and Buck notices it right away. How could he not? It isn’t because Christopher is the strongest reader, either. He’s pretty on-par for his age. He needs more encouragement than some of the other kids when it comes to reading out loud. Sometimes he struggles with enunciation. But he’s got this resilient, tough little spirit when it comes to everything. He’s cheerful and funny. He always tries to do things for himself. He can tease Buck and take as good as he gives. He’s a joy to be around. Buck looks forward to the days where he knows Christopher will be in for programming. 

On one of those days - today - Maddie is here. She’s sitting in a chair in a communal study area across the floor while Buck does programming with the kids. Today is quiet reading. They’re doing a read-a-thon. Every kid that can read twenty books in October gets a Halloween-themed prize. Pretty kitschy, but it gets the kids reading, and that’s what matters. Buck is mostly supervising, helping with questions and word definitions, and assisting with the kids filling out their readathon sheets. It’s an easy afternoon.

He’s actually helping Christopher notate the title and author of his most recent read - a little picture book about a firefighter team comprised of ducks, which Chris loves for obvious reasons - when Eddie walks into the library with another man Buck has never seen. Although he doesn’t recognize him, he has a guess of who this must be. See, Buck has been hearing all afternoon about how Chris is going to a baseball game tonight with his dad and his dad’s friend from work, Chimney. Christopher swears his name is actually Chimney, but Buck thinks he must be mistaken. Maybe it’s Jimmy? Or something not English neither of them is familiar with? Buck isn’t sure. 

“Oh, look who’s here,” Buck says quietly to Chris, drawing his attention away from the paper. “Looks like it’s time for baseball.”

Chris looks up in the direction his father is coming from and lights up. He almost calls out loudly for Eddie but then remembers where he is. They’ve had that chat once or twice. Chris stands up, grabs his crutches, and hurries in Eddie and maybe-Chimney’s direction. Buck smiles and starts to pack up some of Christopher’s stuff for him. 

At the same time as Chris hurries over to his dad, Maddie approaches Buck with what looks like a question on her lips. Christopher nearly bumps right into her in his excited beeline towards Eddie.

“Careful, Chris!” Eddie calls out.

“Sorry, Maddie,” Chris says. 

They’ve met a few times now. Usually when Maddie stops by to join Buck for dinner after his shift, and it overlaps with Carla picking Chris up. Chris thinks it’s pretty cool that Buck has a big sister, and Buck has to agree. She’s pretty cool. 

“That’s okay, Chris,” Maddie smiles. “Have fun at the baseball game tonight.” 

“Thanks, Maddie!” Chris beams. Then, he looks at Eddie. “Dad! This is Buck’s sister.” 

“No way,” Eddie smiles, indulging him. “That’s pretty cool.”

Eddie introduces himself and Chimney - who indeed is called Chimney, for some reason - to Maddie. The three of them chat for a minute, while Buck continues to watch the other kids. Then, with a wave to Buck, Eddie and his friend leave. 

“He was so cute,” Maddie says later, as Buck is closing the library. 

“Eddie?” Buck asks. “Yeah, I’m sure he must get that a lot.”

“No, Chimney,” Maddie replies. 

And that’s where things get complicated.

iv. 

The next time Eddie picks up Christopher himself, he has sort of a sheepish look on his face when he approaches Buck at the front desk.

“Hmm,” Buck says aloud, noticing his apprehension. “No overdue fines. No kid with bad behavior.”

“What?” Eddie asks, frowning. 

“Trying to figure out why you look guilty,” Buck says. “You accidentally destroy one of the books?”

Eddie scoffs. “You assume it would be me, not the seven year-old?”

“Yeah,” Buck nods. “Chris respects the books. I’ve seen him read. Never seen you read though.”

Eddie chuckles. Which is what Buck wanted. For him to look a little less serious.

“I have a weird question,” Eddie admits. “An awkward one.”

“Uh, okay?” Buck replies. “Hit me with it.”

“Can I have your sister’s phone number?”

Buck’s mouth parts in surprise. He feels a knot of disappointment and frustration tangle in his stomach. Like, no. Eddie shouldn’t be asking him that. Eddie shouldn’t. No. He’s not sure why he feels so strongly about this. Well, okay. Maybe he does. Maddie is just getting out of an abusive relationship. Buck’s her brother. Of course, he’s just being protective. Very, very protective. 

“My coworker, Chimney, who met her the other night?” Eddie continues. “He’s, like, completely smitten.”

Oh. Oh. Buck relaxes. It’s just the other guy.

“Uh, yeah. Maddie thought he was cute, too,” Buck admits. “Let me just text her and ask her if that’s okay?”

“Of course,” Eddie exhales, relieved. “Thank you. I promise he’s a normal, good guy.”

Well… Maddie needs one of those.

“Yeah, no worries. I trust you.” Buck replies. “Or, I trust Chris anyway. And he gave a good review.”

Eddie smiles at him. Buck forgets to think about why he is okay with Chimney getting Maddie’s number, and not Eddie. 

A few seconds later, Maddie texts back an enthusiastic yes. 

v. 

The rest of the year goes nicely for Buck. 

Things at the library are going well. He helps several kids move up a reading level. Including Christopher. Though he’s pretty sure Eddie and Carla are a bigger part of that. 

Maddie and Chim start dating. He helps her find a job at the 9-1-1 Dispatch Center. Firefighter connection perks. She likes it. It reminds her enough of her work as a nurse, without putting her in the public eye. Buck is happy for them. He likes Chimney. Whose name is really Howard. Buck cannot repeat the origins of the nickname anywhere near the library.

Buck can’t say he has the same success in the dating pool. He has a brief fling with a reporter he meets at a hook and ladder bar Maddie and Chimney bring him to, but that’s about it. Taylor. She’s gorgeous. She’s mean. She doesn’t really have time for him. He’s very into her. But he doesn’t think it’ll go very far. 

[cuddl3s4shur1]

Totally Not In Love

Inspired By: Abbott Elementry Janeen and Gregory Paring: Teacher riri x Art Teacher Y/n

Summary: Your a new art teacher at a elementary school

Authors Note:Bro Janine and Gregory ARE OBVI IN LOVE idc what anybody says they like each other

Also i would like to say im sorry for like not making story and publishing them I lowkey having been making 3 or 4 stories at the same time and than I would take breaks . So its been all over the place but I'm glad to say I'm almost done with a few and I will start making parts to somestorys you guys have been waiting for (Proud Family , When All Said And Done..Take time, Betrayed etc.) It might take more time for the stories to gett written because I at least want each story to be over 1-2,000 words. Other than that I have no annoucments

Ps:This was not revised and it is unedited if you see grammar issues either let me know or keep it to yourself

Anygays I hope you enjoy the story and or my writing style

- Xoxo Cuddles

Taglist: @saintwrld @inmyheadimobsessed @shuriislut @2k7-sparkles @locoforshuri @writesbyriri @secretgyals @lunax0654 @letitias-fav @shuri-my-love @ziayamikaelson @h34rtsformilli @malltake12 @adeola-the-explorer @niaalove @atssukoo @randomhoex

-If you would like to be added to the Taglist comment in a story ✨

Music:I made a music playlist for the story it is optional to listen to it but i do recommend it sense I used some the community’s favorite songs (WHICH I LOVEEE) I hope you enjoy the playlist

playlist

Sneak Peak👀:If only you could grip on my hair or neck like the way you grip on that little paint brush

Today was the day you had been waiting for, the day you got to decorate your art class.

When you told people in your family about your passion for teaching they thought you were joking . Especially your mother, she overall thought you shouldn’t be a teacher while your sister thought you should. But the main reason you wanted to teach was to help kids and move out of your moms house. You hated how your sister and mother would always fight over dumb stuff.

Chicken or Chicken Nuggets Lasagna or Mac and Cheese Jeans Or Leggings

Overall you got tired of it . So you put more thought into your career and found a job as an art teacher at a school. Vikington Elementary. Even though the school had a pretty weird name you liked the place, and the teachers, and you were going to like the students.

You get out of your car and you open your trunk to get a box out . The box had all your decorations for your class minus the chairs and tables you ordered. You close your trunk and lock your car doors. You begin to walk to the school entrance “Do you need help” you hear a voice ask you. “Yeah if you could open the door it would be great “ you say . The person opens the door and you begin to walk to your classroom. You see a slight glimpse of what they look like . She had cornrows and she was in a graphic tee and sweatpants that matched the shirt .

You try to look for the person who opened the door for you but the person was nowhere to be found. You open the box and you begin to take everything that was in the box . You take out the aprons and you hang them on the hooks next to the door . You take out your desk accessories and you decorate your desk the way you wanted to. You take out your white board decorations and you write “Welcome to art with Ms. L/n '' . You close the marker and place the marker on your desk. You get the last things in your box , Your paintings. You looked over for a chair that was sturdy and some tape but you found none.

You walk out your class and head to closest class next to you . “Hey not trying to bother you or anything but do you have tape and a chair “ you ask the unknown person. “Yeah I have those” the voice responded not looking at you. You think ‘that voice sounds familiar but maybe I'm trippin ‘ . They go to there desk and they search for the tape. Once they find it they give you the tape and know all you needed was a chair. “And the chair “ you reminded the person. “Yeah “ They hand you a chair and you head back to your classroom. “Im Ms.Udaku” she yells . You nod as you leave . You place the chair where you needed it and you begin to get on the chair . You get your art poster and you get you pieces of tape ready . You get on the chair and start to tape your first artwork. You feel the chair start to wobble and you fall back . You feel a person catch you . “Thanks “ you say as you look back to see who caught you. You see Ms,Udaku.

Camera Interview: Y/n “When I looked back to see Ms.Udaku it kinda felt embarrassing” Y/n says, giving a side eye to the camera.

“You can let me go now” You say remending Ms.Udaku to let you go. “Oh yeah sorry” she says and she places you up to stand . “ Thanks again that was nice of you , You're like spider girl or supergirl,”.Shuri gives the camera a side eye. You say trying not to be awkward causing it to be awkward. “Thanks I guess,” she says, forcing a smile. “I’m L/n Its nice to meet you” I say leaving my hand out to dap her . She daps me up and responds “Its uh nice to meet you Ms.L/n “ she says with a smile .

Camera Interview : Shuri “I don’t think she know i'm the black Panther but its all cool”

“Can you help me with these posters I was trying to hang them up until you know “ I ask shuri. Shuri was taller than me. “Sure” she says you hand her the tape and the prints and she begins to put them on your walls. “Did you make this art that i'm hanging up” she asks you. “Yeah I made them,” you responded . “ You're really good at art ,BUt you probably know your art teacher, “ shuri says. You can tell she was nervous about something but you couldn’t put your figure on what.

Camera Interview: Shuri “She’s a really great artist I will definitely buy some of her art” Shuri Says showing a smile

“You're right, an art teacher should like art, “ you say laughing . “Which one is your favorite?” she asks you . “Um i like the princess and the frog one the best” you say as you point to the picture. “Mhm , I like your proud family one” she says as she points to the picture.Shuri finishes putting the pictures on the wall so you invite her to your desk. You sit in your desk chair and she pulls a classroom chair and sits with you. As she sits down on the chair she begins to ask you a question “Um so What are your hobbies”

Camera Interview: Y/n “She’s awkward but i can see us being work buddies” You say ending with no emotion in the face.

You begin to face shuri and respond to her question . “My hobbies…” you mouth some sound coming out. You feel eyes on your lips so you break the eyes off of you lips and answer the question. “My hobbies mhm I like art Which you can tell “ shuri does a slight laugh at you answering. “I like sleeping. I'm really good at that but don't get enough sleep,” you say laughing . “I like eating. I'm really good at fashion . Fashion is like my second main hobby , and baking. I like eating so I know how to bake and cook.” During telling shuri your hobbies, you heard scattered laughter from her . “But what about you what are your hobbies “ you ask shuri wondering. “Well i like designing and science sometimes planting but designing and science are my main “ you nod and smile . “Thats nice I didn’t see you as a plant person” you say . “Oh mhm” shuri says lifting eye brows.

You hear footsteps in the hallway till they stop. You begin to look at your doorway . You move your chair to look at who it could be . You look at the lady confused on who it is . “Hello Im Ms. L/n '' you say waving to the unknown teacher. “Oh I’m Ms. Willam's You can call Riri though , I was looking for shuri '' she finishes . “oh Shuris right there but i guess you can call me Y/n '' say . Shuri gets up and begins to talk with riri.

Shuri steps in the hallway and begins to talk with riri. “Aye, that's the girl I helped with the door . She seems cool. I want to be friends with her, you know, past work, "Riri says . Shuri lets out a sigh. “She just got here to relax , we're going to have to chill with her, “ shuri says .

Camera Interview : Riri “Am I in love with someone I haven't exchanged words to … No definitely not “

Shuri and riri begin to walk back into Your art class . You scroll on insta looking at your friends post of her being in italy with her boyfriend Fiance. You read the long caption that she wrote with the picture and you smiled. You had been friends before they got together so to know that they were engaged makes you smile.”who got your feet kicking” Riri says, causing you to do a slight jump. “ I aint mean to scare you ma” she says which catches you off guard. “I was reading my friend's engagement post, “ you say, explaining what made you smile . “Tell them i said congrats “ Shuri says you give her a side eye . “They don’t know you but I guess I'll help them” you say . You thought it would be pretty awkward to tell your friend that but you were going to keep your word. “Well ugh what now “ you say trying not to be awkward but you make it more awkward. Shuri begins to stare and thinks it's cute how you look awkwardly . “Well um maybe sense where co workers we should get to know each other and i see you like to paint so maybe we could do like a paint and sip '' riri says . “That's cool and I could help you if needed,” you say, smiling now. “Yeah i'm definitely going to be needing help” shuri says chuckling you join in on the laugh . “You have a nice smile” shuri says, making you flustered by that simple sentence . “I’ll give yall my number so i can send yall my address for the paint and sip “ you say smiling . You put in their phones and after words you leave so you could get your house together . THis was pretty unexpected but you could never turn down an offer to help people paint especially if they're hot .

✰ You were at home setting up the paint and sip since it was out of the blue you would have to rush. You told them to be here at 7:30. It was now 3:30 so you only had 4 hours to get your apartment together . you call your bestfriend to go get the food and supplies while you are cleaning .” Hey dia can you go to walmart and get some food so i can host this paint and sip for my coworkers shuri and riri” you ask hoping she would go to the store for you . “You're talking about your fine co-workers right ?” she asks you , “I mean if you call them fine yes “ you say as you roll your eyes. “ You should lowkey put me on if you know what i mean” she says you become awkward . “I know what you mean but can you just buy the groceries? '' you say, trying to demand but yet still be cool, calm and or collected.”yeah send me the list “ she says . you hang up and text her the supplies and or food products that you needed for the foods . You start to make your house look presentable. You changed from your school outfit to a chill sweatpants outfit

You hear a knock on the door after you change and you hope it's not shuri and riri . You check your phone to see that it's 4:40 ,probably dia. You open the door and Dia walks in and places the groceries down. “We got to like hurry we got 3 more hours” you say hoping that would help dia be more quick. “Girl i'm going to help you and then imma dip ny invited us to the club but i know you can’t go because you hosting this so when we done ima get lit “ dia says you laugh. Overall you weren’t a club person you didn’t like the loud music, People everywhere it never interested you .”Well enjoy it i guess ,but you can always stay” you say trying to be nice . “mhm” she hums as a response . ✰

Your friend dia already left and shuri and riri should be coming any moment by now- . The doorbell rings look like they're here. You had your speaker playing some music and right now it was playing ‘Outside -Bryson Tiller’ . The song was overall a chill song but when you heard the intro you were thinking about a whole different song with the same intro. You open the door to see riri and shuri . YOu began to stare at the 2. They were looking so fucking fine riri had, on a outfit that showed her toned abs . Shuri had a simple outfit yet it made her legs shine . “Earth to Y/N~” riri says as she snaps . “Oh yeah come in come in , sorry bout that must of zoned out” you say as you blink a couple times . “Or checking us out its ok “ shuri says you roll your eyes at her cockyness . “I prefer what i said i was not checking yall out “ you say as you fidget with your hands.”What ever you say ma,” shuri says as she sits down at your dinning table . It was circular and was all black you had chairs that where grey and black ,“I made so dip than we got some wing stop and hawaiian rolls and uh for drink i got some wine coolers in the freezer so it can be come like a slushie and i got the rest of my drinks in my cabinet “ you say as you either walk to what your talking about or point. “But uh ill give yall the canvas’s and ill go get the paint “ you say as you head to your bedroom to get the canvas’s and paint .

As you walk out your dining room that was connected to your kitchen shuri and riri begin to stare. “Bro we can’t fall for her you know she’s are co worker “ riri says shuri rolls her eyes . “i don’t care i want what i want and what i want is her “ shuri says . All of a sudden the doorbell rings. “Ill get it” y/n yells . She walks out her bedroom without the canvas’s nor paint brushes and or paint. She opens the door and we see a fine lady.Her outfit was cute for clubbing tbh. The whole friend group is just fine tbh . Shuri and riri begin to look at eachother . “Dia what are you doing here “ y/n asks dia. Shuri mouths her name “Dia” . “Girl so i made it the car drove their but than i had to come back i forgot my purse “ she says as she walks to couch to get it . “Be for real how the fuck did you just realize that “ y/n says riri sides eye y/n she never heard y/n cuss before. “Well i didn’t realize it because i had my keys “ y/n rolls her eyes. “Whatever dia” dia looks at the 2 ladys . “You said they weren’t fine” dia says as she trys to whisper to y/n. “You can’t whisper for shit i said if you call them fine than yes “Me and riri give y/n a flirty glare. “Well girl ima see you later also are you coming to club tomorrow “ dia says as she walks to the door . “See you dia , Most likely no but your going to force me so yes “ y/n says as she opens the door . “Good also don’t dress like no teacher , When your at the club you don’t want to look like a teacher “ dia says ,You slowly close the door .”ok i’ll remember” you say as finish closing and locking the door.”Sorry about her “ y/n says .She goes back to her bedroom to get the supplies .

“The whole friend group is fine “ riri whispers to me . “exactly “ i whisper,y/n come in the dinning room area and places down the canvas’s . “Well lets get started “ y/n says as she next to me. ✰

Y/n paints her canvas as she hums to her playlist she hums to the song”Skin Tight By Ravyn Lenae FT Steve Lacy”. We all focus on are painting until i realize i need help with some clouds im doing on my paintings “Y/n could you like help me with making clouds “ i say as i tap her hand with the end of my paint brush . “Yeah shuri i can help you “ she says as she gets up and walks to my chair. “So what your going to do circular motions “ she says i try to follow her direction with my paint brush. “Wait no let me see the brush” I give her the brush and she begins to paint in circular motions . Her hands gripping the brush had me think of what else she could grip on . Lord save me i can’t be thinking those things about my COWORKER . “Alright now you can try” she hands the brush back to me and i try to copy how she did it. She puts her hand on top of mine and begins to take control of how the brush moves . “You wanna go slow and steady you dont want to go fast” she says as she keeps guiding my paint brush to make a cloud. “And thats how you make a cloud she releases her hand from on top of mine . “thanks y/n “ i say she goes back to sitting in her chair . I continue to make the cloud yet i still think about her hand on mine it gave me some type of comfort. As I look at y/n she moves her hips to the beat of song ,’Trance By Metro Boomin Ft Travis Scott and Young thug was playing. “This you shit huh” riri says as she looks at y/n.”Hell yeah this song hitss” you continue to dance in the chair. You paint slowly making sure you get every detail .You take the paint Brush off of the canvas .You look at the canvas and begin to smile . You grab a new brush and grip the brush you begin to dip it on the next color.

Shuri watches the slight changes in brush and color . She likes the way you concentrate on each part of your painting. She sees how each stroke of the paint you make adds to the final portrait.If only you could grip on my hair or neck like the way you grip on that little paint brush .I begin to stop looking at her painting hoping to get those thoughts out of my mind.That dosent work. I trails my eyes down your body . I could tell when you did art you where more calm and loose.”When did you start painting” I would ask in soft voice. My question comes from out of nowhere. I could tell that it caught riri and y/n off guard.”Huh” she asks me not getting my question.”When did you start painting “ I re ask her . “Well I always was a artist my panters said bit I started at 8 months” she says my jaw drops. “8 Months ?” I ask her . “8 months ,My mom would give me a bag that had paint and a canvas and I would just paint” she explains , she takes her eyes off the Canvas and looks at me with a smile.”That’s hella impressive” riri remarks “Also interesting “ I add to riri. Y/n begins to hum as a response .She continues to paint me and riri look at each other than we go back to our paintings.

Shuri and I begin to help y/n with cleaning ,so by the time where done we can chill with y/n while our paintings dry.Shuri does the dishes and I start to take out the trash. “You guys I could’ve cleaned up “ she says . “We know we just don’t want you to clean all by yourself when we can help” I state to y/n. Y/n begins to go to the kitchen ,”You you guys like to take any food home” she questions us. “Sure “ I say I begin to go to the kitchen and make me a plate . I go yo the nearest counter and get some of her paper plates. “Can you make me one to” shuri adds .”I got you” I say and I begin to make me and shuri plates . “You got some foil” i ask her . “Yeah let me get it for you” she begins to move towards me and she gets her stool.she gets on her stool and to get the foil.o begin to look at her body. My eyes trail from her hair to her ass. She stops stretching and gets going bed the foil to me . “Thanks” I say as I grab the foil from her hand. Her thumb caresses my hand. We begin to look at each other. She looks away . She grabs the rest of the left overs and containers for the food.

I invite riri and shuri to the couch.For some reason I didn’t want this night to end not one bit not at all. I enjoyed their energy they were calm and chill about everything. They even helped me with dishes which is lovely . And something I wouldn’t expect sense this would be the first time I invited them over. We begin to talk over wine and vibe to the music playlists . “What’s your funniest school story” shuri asks me. “Well I sent home this form for a field trip to the art museum and one of the parents route the kids nickname and wrote it and crayon” you say as you took a sip of wine . “Are you being serious” riri says with a chuckle. “Yes bro” you say laughing a little.”what’s yours shuri” you ask her .”The kids pranked me for April Fools with water balloons “ she says as she giggles. Shuri had a soft slight and riri had a laugh that would make other people laugh .”what’s yours ri” you ask she was the last one to tell her funny story. “Well this one kid asked me to be his valentine and then on Valentine’s Day he said he found someone else and it was a kid that looked just like me” riri says . You begin to laugh a little you look at shuri and she laughs.

After the somewhat comedy session you guys would talk about favorite colors, childhood,and more work stories. You walk the ladies to The door.”it was really nice hanging with y’all” you say ending with a smile. It really was a good time that you needed sense a week before school would start back you and your boyfriend would split .”I enjoyed your food your a really great cook” riri exclaims with a smile. “I’m glad you enjoyed it “ you say with a smile and you do a slight wink at riri.”You have a really great music taste “ shuri ads to the convo. “I know right ,You where playing ICU at one point and B.E.D Remix” Riri says you do a slight chuckle.Quavo was your favorite part of the remix . “That remix hits buy to be honest quavo carried “ you say. “He did tho ,But how do you get carried on your own song. “ You say now relazing your talking with you hands .You bring your hands down and mumble slightly “sorry”.”So I’ll see y’all at work” you say now just wanting to end the conversation.”Yeah you’ll see us” shuri says. You hug shuri , You would know smell the scent she wore it was some scent with bourbon. You would feel the hug last to last long so you let go and pull away . You hug riri her scent was calm and smelt like coconut.There scents where calm yet could get you hooked. You pull away from the hug and you guys all stair at each other . Shuri try’s to be suddle yet you could tell she was doing the triangle method. “Welp I’ll see y’all later “ you say with a smile .”they walk out and wave.As you close and lock the door you lay your head on the door. “i freshly got out of a relationship , I can’t date and shit” You say you leave from the door way and begin to head to your bedroom to write so you could get it off of your chest .

Meanwhile while you where practically having a break down about why you shouldn’t get with your coworkers, Your coworkers couldn’t stop thinking or talking about you. “Girl shes funny ,she has good music taste ,do i need to explain more “ Riri says . “Your right not even to mention her friend is fine to” shuri adds. “Her friend also mentioned something about the club so that means y/n will most likely dress up “ riri says. “So you thinking what im thinking” ? riri questions shuri. “Where going to the club” they both say at the same time.

[dutchessofcaladan]

Ghostbusters: Soul Resurgence

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3! This chapter's gonna be a bit more exciting than the last 2. We're also getting a new character! Once again, hope you guys enjoy and as always, a big thank you to @phantomoftheparadise0002 for beta-reading this!

Summary: When the spirit of Sumerian sorceress Ahassunu, daughter of Vigo, possesses Alexis, the Ghostbusters must band together to determine the fate of the world

TW: Some language, paranormal violence, major character death (don't hate me)

Translation for Sumerian:

Ma me nekel, ma su petu inu sessu kunkkum, ma annitu, rabum girabum. Ma inu utu emu salmu kima labasu, ma ina nanna emu kima saleme. Ma inu tamtu samsum isatum ma inu elenu maqatu:

And I looked, and he opened the sixth seal, and behold, there was a great earthquake. And the sun became as black as sack cloth, and the moon became as blood.

Ina nabu sina basu daku…dayyanum suluppu:

The prophecy to be fulfilled...judgment day

Alka:

Come

Taking another sip from his drink, Elis sighed, pulling out his phone. Jumping as it began to ring, he quickly answered.

“Hey, Ray.” He sighed again. “I was just about to call you. Do you have any idea where Alex is? I've called her five times already.” He froze, hearing Ray inform him about what had been going on. Quickly paying his tab, Elis raced to his car.

Arriving at the Firehouse, Elis immediately went inside, causing everyone to stop mid-movement. “What the hell happened?!” He shouted. “One minute I'm sitting in a bar, thinking my girlfriend of 3 years somehow forgot our anniversary, and the next I'm being told she's been possessed by some ghost and is going around blowing up buildings around New York.”

“Dr. Cristiano,” Ray said in an attempt to calm Elis’ nerves, “we have everything under control.” He sent him a reassuring smile.

“Under control? What do you mean?” Elis could feel his heart beginning to race.

Heaving his pack into the Ecto-1, Ray explained, “We’ll restrain her using our packs while Phoebe and Lars fire up the PSD-”

“PSD?” Elis asked, feeling lost.

“Portable Separation Device. All admit, it's not a very snappy name but-”

“Separation device?!” Elis nearly screamed. “What the hell are you going to do to her?!”

Ray sighed, putting a hand on the young man’s shoulder in an attempt to calm his ever increasing anxiety. “To even have a chance at saving Alex, we would need to separate the spirit from her.”

Elis nodded. “So, it’s safe, right? You’ve used this thing before?”

The look on Ray’s face was enough to cause Elis’ anxiety to return three-fold.

"My God, you haven’t even tested it, have you?!” His eyes were wide with fear.

“Well, no-” Ray began, not wanting to lie to him.

Quickly pulling his shoulder from the older man’s grasp, Elis’ hands flew to his hair, frantically running through the short strands. Blinking tears from his eyes, he asked, “So, so you have no idea if this thing will end up killing her?” He whimpered.

“No.” Ray admitted, no longer able to maintain eye contact.

The pained whimper that left Elis shattered the hearts of the team as they stood, stock still, only Janine going to comfort him.

“We’re gonna get her back.” She soothed, running a hand up and down his back as his tears dampened her jumpsuit. Turning back to the rest of the Ghostbusters, her gaze switching from one to another until it landed on Ray, who’s eyes now glistened with fresh, unshed tears. “Fight like hell and bring her back.” She commanded, voice faltering slightly.

Ray nodded, heading towards his bike as the rest headed to the Ecto.

The street had become complete chaos. People had abandoned their cars in the middle of the street and had begun to run in an effort to survive.

“Alka.” Alex commanded, her voice echoing in their heads.

The commotion ceased as the crowd turned and followed the order they’d been given. Slowly lowering herself to the ground, she began to speak.

“Ma me nekel, ma su petu inu sessu kunkkum, ma annitu, rabum girabum. Ma ina utu emu salmu kima labasu, ma ina nanna emu kima saleme. Ma ina tamtu samsum isatum ma ina elenu maqatu.” Looking out at the crowd, she smirked, enjoying that she had 100s under her control. “Ina nabu sina basu daku…dayyanum suluppu.”

“Dayyanum suluppu.” The crowd repeated.

With a raise of he hands, the souls of the crowd fled their bodies, transferring their life-force to Alex. Just as the ritual had finished, the siren of the Ecto-1 could be heard approaching fast. Watching as the car screeched to a stop a few blocks away, Alex became intrigued.

Firing up their packs, they created a barrier between Alex and the Ecto, where Phoebe and Lars continued to work on the PSD.

Stepping to the front of the group, Ray began to speak.

“Alexis!” He commanded.

Her sneer turned to him, slowly morphing to a smirk.

“In the name of the city, county, and state of New York, I command you under the National Invasive Species Act to depart this world immediately and return to your place of origin or to the nearest parallel dimension.”

This time, there were no snide remarks from Peter. No jokes. Each member of the Ghostbusters knew the severity of the situation. The power that this spirit had was unlike anything they’d seen before. Not in Garraka. Not in Vigo. Not even in Gozer.

Alex’s smirk grew as she began to levitate.

“Light ‘em up on 3! 1! 2!”

Before Ray had even finished the countdown, Peter had fired his pack.

The group stared in shock as, with a wave of her hand, Alex froze the proton stream in place.

The world went silent, seemingly moving in slow motion as she curled the stream back towards Peter.

Before anyone could react, a strangled noise left him as the white-hot energy stream ran through his chest.

“Venkman!” Ray shouted, catching him in his arms as Winston shut off the stream. Applying pressure to the wound in a vain attempt to save his friend, he watched through tear clouded eyes as Alex watched with a malicious glint in her eyes before flying off.

[scarlet-spider-bf]

Gonna be tragic and sad and horny about Ben Reilly on main now. But some things just have to be said and when nobody else will do it, I shall take this one for the team. Minors dni ye be warned

tbh most of the following is just sweetly sad

This is about traumatised broken Ben after the Clone Conspiracy (shattered) and/or after Beyond (goo) (bless you if you know what I mean and have not gone insane from the knowledge, I try not to be too spoilery)

Ben Reilly headcanons (sad, fluffy, horny edition)

He loves it when you (partner, imagine yourself as Janine or someone else, whatever you like) wear his ripped cropped Scarlet Spider Hoodie. He doesn't wear it out anymore, but he can't let go of it either. It tethers him to a better time. There are memories just on the cusp of being rediscovered by him when he stares at you lying sleeping in it. Just a hint of comfort soon shadowed by pain. He grits his teeth and swallows it down like a good boy, he always tries to when you are around, he doesn't want to worry you after all.

To be honest it's kinda stinky by now but you don't seem to want to wash it, arguing it will wear out and is too precious to be lost. But not too precious to be worn to nap in since you fear he will impulsively destroy it on a particular bad day. Preserving the last anchoring scraps of the past is what you do now... but you are not even sure it's a good plan. No matter what you do he always seems to be in pain, even if he tries to hide it.

The sadness creeps into his smiles as if to punish him for being alive. He looks at you with shining eyes, full of love, but then as if a shadow passes over the moon, there's the horror. Visions of losing you, the last thing he has, the fear of your face crumbling into a black abyss that just sucks and sucks at his life force until he wonders if it's just a mirror, the chasm pulling him down to nothingness, the nothingness he is.

To pull him back you gently lay your hands on his cheeks, whispering his name over and over. Touch helps him find his way back most of the time but he often just freezes against you, malleable and defenseless. Sometimes he whispers back your name with a distant look on his face yet unable to close his wide doe eydes and back away from the rift that tears at him.

When it happens the first few times you try to shake him gently, remind him where he is, who you are, what you were about to do. He's unresponsive but touch always helps. Perhaps because the way you touch is so foreign to his body. Sure there used to be the memories of Peter, the warmth of uncle Ben's hugs, the kindness of aunt May's little kisses to his broken knees on the playground and the way Gwen used to hold his hand and brush her shoulder against his on flirtatious walks. But those are distant variables, crumbled away - and anyway he never felt it, he only observed in Peter's memory that those thing happened. They never truly happened to him. In fact his current clome body has only ever known abuse until he met you. Dr. Warrens bruising clinical groping and torturous contraptions. The fists of thugs breaking teeth loose and his own so called brother's kicks into his gut. So when you hug him gently and kiss his temple in his darkest hours, it's like rain after a drought. His body doesn't even know how to process it.

So he gets easily aroused like a damn teenager. Embarassingly intensely. He blinks free off the spell of the abyss' siren song and finds your tender cooing and petting and it just is too much to not be keening. But more is what he needs since he is not enough of about everything. Less than Peter, less than human even (that's not true of course but Dr. Warren's voice seems so sure, so scholarly when he whispers it sharply into his ear between painful shocks - or is it Maxine's voice? they are all the same to him, just pain, pain).

So when he comes back from his stupor he comes back like a freight train, crashing against you. You never wanted to take advantage of him, you really think you should talk about it all, but he doesn't want to, is sick of it. Sick of Dr. Kafkas prying, sick of having to explain anything. He just feels so bad, so broken all the time and looking at you there's a sliver of warmth he clings to like a moth to a flame. If ne needs to burn and burn bright and beg you to hug him so much it hurts, kiss so hard it turns to bites he will and he knows no shame, not anymore.

It's a way to claim this body for himself, this wretched face that hurts to look at when he crosses a mirror. No amount of hair dye can bleach Peter out of his visage and he hates how you look at him and see not only Ben but Peter. The first few times you crash together like this, like a train wreck of bodies and hands that cannot reach enough of each other, he keeps pushing your face to the side, gently but firmly, to look away while he kisses down your neck. He can't even stand how it is Peter's hands that keep touching you, so he whispers into your ear to stay where you are (please please don't run away) and wait for a moment. He returns in his scarlet suit, gloves mask and all. You wonder about it, plan to ask, but not now, you don't care. If he needs this you'll indulge him, worry about it later. (And worry you will.)

He whines when you are gentle, it's too foreign, too intense to bear, to understand. He begs you to be rougher with tiny gestures, gripping your hand and curling your fingers in his hair, nipping on your lips to make you retaliate and bite bite deep (he wants too bleed but can't ask for it, wants to be scarlet all over, dressed in it, Peter completely covered up).

He's so desperate about it, his stubbled cheeks rubbing against yours where he reluctantly pulls up the mask to kiss you (but don't look there please, don't look at Peter's plush lips, and don't listen too closely or you'll hear him moan and not Ben, Ben who's trying to sound different, prefers moaning like a girl to egg you on and mask all traces of his original to all alternatives).

You know this isn't healthy, sustaining it cannot be. But he seems better for a while after you held him down (it's comical, he could throw you across the room with a light spasm, but prefers to be weak for once, even if it's lie and he's so thankful you don't call him out, when you join the game and play your part and make him feel powerless, all responsibility drained, not having to be anything at all but your boyfriend, sweating and moaning beneath you).

[cdyssey]

Human

Summary: A quiet moment between Barbara and Janine after they return to the school from their shopping trip. [2.21 Spoilers]

CW: Allusions to Parental Neglect

AO3 Link

—

When Barbara neatly slots into her favorite parking space—right next to Melissa’s sleek, black Civic—she smiles a little at the gentle scolding that she’s probably going to receive from her friend. Something to the effect of, What the hell, Barb? Where’d you fly off to? And then, when she explains, and recognition lights upon the forest of Melissa’s eyes like sunshine, she might even get something of a warm belly laugh and a familiar crooked smile that makes her heart beat faster than it probably should.

Nosy and interfering, she’ll maybe say, shaking her fiery head, elbowing Barbara’s arm. But I can’t say that I blame ya.

There are things in this life worth crossing boundaries for.

People even.

Sitting in her passenger seat, staring thoughtfully out of the window, there is Janine.

With a flick of her wrist, Barbara puts her sedan into park, but she doesn’t turn off the ignition quite yet. A quick glance at her watch lets her know that they still have some time before lunch is over. 

Ten minutes.

Sure, she just spent the last half-hour combing the aisles at Ross’s with the second grade teacher—showing her how to find the best bargains and helping her choose a cover-up that doesn’t seem like three clashing patterns have gotten sick on it—but Barbara has more in her left to give to the young woman who has looked like a kicked puppy all day long.

She gets it now, having finally met Vanetta Teagues.

That’s Janine’s mom.

“Sweetheart?” She prods gently, leaning back in her seat to better look at her coworker, who doesn’t initially stir at the pet name, carved from stone where she sits. Her chin is propped in one hand; the other is knuckled tightly around the handle of her shopping bag. Sunlight dusts her unmoving curls in gold. 

“Janine?” Barbara tries a little more loudly and succeeds this time, unfortunately startling her. She nearly jumps, restrained only by the seatbelt strapped across her, breathing heavily.

“Oh, sorry, Barbara!” She apologizes vehemently and rather unnecessarily. It seems to be a reflexive habit of hers to assume that she’s the one at fault. Barbara, having only spent five minutes alone with Vanetta, already has a distinct visual map of every time that she must have told her two daughters that they were the problem and the burden, perpetually the ones to blame. “I was just, um… lost in thought.”

“It happens to the best of us,” she shrugs warmly, “especially after a long day. The good Lord knows that I can be two crayons shy of a box from time to time.”

Barbara pauses, mulling over what she just said. It’s actually an uncommon admission for her—not being perfect, having off days, maybe even more often than she cares to admit—but she supposes that it’s something that Janine probably needs to hear. After all, it's what she would have liked to hear when she was a young woman of color, growing up and knowing, far better than most, that the eyes of the world were trained on her, waiting to see if her careful balancing act would ever collapse.

She had to be excellent, and so she was.

There was no room for error; every minor flaw was admissible to the merciless jury of mankind, who ultimately had the power and the audacity alike to pronounce her doomed.

Even though she's now decades removed from being considered young, Barbara still hasn’t quite forgotten those ingrained fears of her adolescence. Maybe she even inadvertently passed a few of them to her own daughters when she was raising them. But inwardly, privately, so secretly that she's likely disguised the selfless intention from even herself, she’s hoped for better lives for them, a world where they could be freer than she ever was—freer to make mistakes, freer to try new things, freer to have big and messy feelings that they don't have to neatly package in the well-ordered systems of their minds. 

Maybe she should tell them that one day and make the hard part explicit, but she has a sneaking suspicion that both of her wonderful girls have already figured that vital truth out for themselves.

Janine, though, she might need a little extra help to see the bigger picture.

That’s clear enough for Barbara to both discern and capably respond to.

She’s never been able to say no to a child in need.

“What, no?! You?” Janine laughs incredulously, picking up on the rarity of the circumstance almost immediately. “You’re Barbara Howard. Your crayon box is always full, and, like, super clean and shiny. It makes all the rest of us kinda jealous."

She smiles sadly at this; it's a familiar refrain—this adoration that she's striven most of her professional career to deserve and the entirety of her personal life to wholly live up to. (Even to this day, she's not sure she's ever completely reached the mark.)

“It’s touching that you think so highly of me, Janine,” she says, lightly shaking her head, “but I have my moments too. Perhaps far fewer than I used to, sure—experience has seasoned me, and it absolutely will you too someday—but still, even at sixty-six years old, I’ve been known to accidentally set tables on fire during my time.”

“Oh, God,” the younger teacher snorts inelegantly, covering her mouth. “I forgot about that.”

“Well, I certainly haven’t,” Barbara says it teasingly, like it’s a part of the joke, their quipping game, but she knows that it very well isn't. Every time she so much as walks in to the teacher lounge these days and sees the pot of sunflowers on hers and Melissa’s table, she understands that it’s covering up her own scorch marks.

Her momentary lapse.

Her nearly costly mistake.

That one bad day.

She’s somewhat made her peace with that, partially because she doesn’t have the energy to make a new martyrdom out of a mole hill, and partially because Melissa once delicately fingered the stems of that ersatz arrangement and noted that there were two.

Just for them.

Only for them.

“Point is, Janine,” she continues softly, “no need to apologize for simply being. I’ve been down that road far too many times before.” (A perpetual hypocrite, maybe she still is.) “So take this as wisdom from an old timer who cares. It’s perfectly okay to be human.”

Janine immediately glances away at the profound weight of these words, visibly overwhelmed and unprepared to be so. She tucks one of her dark curls behind her ear; her shoulders shiver against an unseen cold.

Barbara bites her lower lip and wonders if she’s overstepped yet another line; she seems to be doing that a lot with this particular young woman today, profusely and perhaps even recklessly blurring the margins between colleague and friend, mentee and work daughter.

But her fears seem to be unfounded because she does in fact get a response.

Eventually.

(Harrowingly.)

“Is it okay to still be sad about my mom, even though you just did a really nice thing for me?” Janine asks in a small voice that cleaves the kindergarten teacher’s beating heart in two.

This poor child.

This twenty-six year old woman, who pays rent, drives a car, and is a good teacher to all her children.

But even still.

“Yes, baby girl,” she murmurs, reaching over and curling her fingers around Janine’s wrist. 

It’s a simple gesture, a precious one. 

“That’s part of being human too.”

Janine nods and sniffs once, but she doesn’t say anything.

She doesn't exactly need to.