#jamie tartt and his taste in home decoration

[thetarttfuldickhead]

Just had a thought, do we know when it was that Keeley was a page 3 girl? Because now I think about it, there is a good chance timeline wise that lil teenage Jamie had both hers and Roy's pictures on his wall that he daydreamed about at the same time

I don’t know that we know. She’s 6 years older than Jamie, meaning that if she did them at like 21 he would have been 15. Could well have put a picture of her up then, right next to good old Roy!

Hm. I do love the OT3 and bi!Jamie implications of this, but for me there’s something a little murky about him actually getting together with a woman whose model shot he used to have on his wall. It’s somehow a bit different when it was just for her looks, rather than for say someone’s prowess as a football player, I think. Bit objectifying, potentially. (Not to mention borderline insane with how crazy it’d be if he ended up with both of his one-time wall decorations, but I do wish him all the best and all the fairytale endings, so I shan’t complain about that.) I’m a little meh about how that sort of puppy love can grow into an mature and equal relationship, when it starts off so one-sided and skewed. (Which is the very reason why I’m not keen on Jamie thinking of Roy as his big hero, rather than “just” a footballer he admired a lot, even though I’m aware that the former is a very popular notion in the fandom.)

But if this rocks your boat, I wish you all the joy of it, nonny! Indulge in all the daydreams! I hope there’s fanart for you one day, and all the fic and meta. <3

[royjamierot]

love love LOVE your headcanons for Roy and Jamie!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️💗💗💗💗✨✨✨please share moreeee 🤍

THANK YOUUUU this was so fun to think about i have a lot so they're going under the cut

- i think roy is more of a tv and movie guy than jamie. i think jamie is just one of those people who can't sit still during movies so they usually end up making out whenever they turn one on.

- jamie can do movies in theaters though, for some reason he can pay attention to those just fine. he and roy go like every week.

- roy's favorite movie is sound of music jamie's is star wars a new hope. i know this. please believe me.

- jamie likes sour candy and roy likes sweet candy

- if they got married jamie would want to take roy's last name. like that guy has been obsessed with roy for like a decade, and you're telling him he gets the chance to be jamie kent instead of jamie tartt?? instead of james tartt?? the name only associated with his father now? yeah. he'd want to be jamie kent. and also roy would love it because he's a possessive bitch.

- jamie does not know what pronouns are until keeley tells him to put his pronouns on his Instagram. then he has a gender crisis. (he puts his pronouns on he/him and figures out the gender stuff with the people he actually knows irl)

- if royjamie were t4t they would be even more into body worship. they trace over each other's scars and admire the self made people they are.

- roy only has a minor freak out about realizing he's bisexual (he's nearly 40 only just now realizing he's bi? he'd freak out) but it'd be worse when jamie is the reason he realizes

- roy and jamie are each other's bisexual awakening

- when jamie and roy start dating jamie has to fight himself from asking if the things in the tabloids are true. because jamie read a lot of tabloids and stories about roy when he was a horny teenager. (jamie does ask about the hip movement thing on their first date and roy just has to take him home to show him. obviously)

- jamie and roy's music taste clashes a lot but they still make playlists for each other and listen to them regularly

- jamie and roy both love concerts too so they go to them a lot. they definitely go to beyonce and stevie nicks together.

- jamie has his ears pierced and lets phoebe pick out silly earrings for him. he's worn all of these.

- jamie loves iced coffee and roy loves cappuccinos

- (i dont actually know what Halloween is like in england and i dont care bc i have headcanons) i just know that jamie gets really into halloween decorations. every october their house smells like pumpkin spice candles and there's fake cobwebs everywhere. roy is kind of surprised by it until they go back to manchester once during october and he sees georgie's house is the same way

- roy makes themed pancakes all year round. valentines? strawberry heart pancakes. halloween? pumpkin cinnamon. phoebe loves it and then jamie loves it.

- jamie is a passenger princess.

- jamie loves candles there's like a million around the house. he nearly sets the house on fire at least once a month.

- jamie thinks once they start dating that the training will get easier. it doesn't. it gets worse. (jamie tries to flirt his way out of it and that doesn't work out so he just ends up tired and turned on)

- roy starts complimenting him way more when they start dating and jamie goes very pink when that happens and brushes it off so that he doesn't do something inadvisable in public

- jamie loves roy's curly hair and begs him to grow it out and roy says it's too much maintenance and jamie says he will do everything for roy if he grows it out. this leads to roy growing it out and jamie washing and styling his hair for a month (roy likes the attention it brings him so eventually he just keeps it)

- they go to each other's hair appointments together

- jamie's favorite disney princess is rapunzel

- jamie and roy are both cat people i think. i think roy has had a secret cat for years that no one knows about until jamie comes over one time. it's a black cat that way the cat's hair doesn't stand out on roy's clothing. jamie has a not secret tabby cat.

- jamie has a teddy bear his mom gave him when he was little that goes with him everywhere. to every away game and everything.

- roy cooks, jamie does dishes, they do their own laundry.

- they watch garbage reality tv together (or really they goof off with reality tv in the background.)

okay thanks that's all my headcanons for now!! thank you for the ask.

[oh-surprise-its-me]

Welcome back everyone to the great British bake off!

Here we can now introduce our surprise guest judge!

He's fun loving, people loving, an all around fabulous guy, he’s also already promised to take Mary Berry out for dinner. Everyone give it up at home for Dani!

• Dani what are your expectations for you teammates? "I've had Jamie's baking, very good. Roy is good but Phoebe normally does all the actual ingredients part so he's a bit unknown. I think if we eat anything by Colin or Isaac we might die. And Sam will put his heart into anything though."

So high expectations and no mercy even though their your friends?

Dani throws his head back with a laugh, yes for the folks at home his hair is that pretty in person also.

"No mercy, they would be brutal if they were up here judging also."

You heard it Britain! He's going to crush their hopes and dreams!

———————

And now we come back. It’s the final round, in case you missed it, Colin has been eliminated for catching the mixer on fire. Sam and Jamie are in a neck and neck race to the finish. Roy is looking cool as a cucumber, he’s ahead schedule. Isaac is just waiting for the ice cream to set

•Dani who do you think will win this. “Jamie is looking as hot as he normally does but I know Roy is a killer.” He says with a laugh.

Paul Hollywood is by Jamie’s station right now, let’s tune in.

“You really think you can do this in time? The roses? The caramel?” Jamie laughs and leans across the bench, Roy fumbles the cake pan he’s holding when he looks up. “Paul I can do anything or anyone.” Paul laughs turning away.

Well for the viewers at home who might’ve missed that look, Jamie made Paul blush!

•Roy there was almost a tragedy can you say what caused it? “Not if we intend keep the pg rating.” Right! Moving on from that horny or threatening comment!

It’s coming down to the wire, Isaac and Sam are still panic decorating, Jamie has finished early, where is he’s now? Oh. There. He’s now sitting on Roy’s counter while Roy finishes they seem to be talking about what happens when the other loses. Ladies, gentlemen, and everyone else we can’t air the conversation they are having and to quote Roy here “if we intend to keep this pg.”

• Colin has joined in on the judging everyone, what’s your thoughts. “Sam’s is fabulous, bit wonky but good. Roy’s is as good as I expected, sweet but tastes homemade. Jamie’s is honestly incredible I have no clue how he did fake roses. Isaac mate I love you but you switched the salt and sugar, I literally can’t eat this”

Well everyone I’d say that this was a very successful bake off, and we’d like to announce our winner now. It was a close match, Sam you really nailed that first round, Roy you came in strong the second, Jamie you killed it in the final.

We are proud to announce that Jamie Tartt has won this episode of Bake off! Congratulations! You’re charity gets 50,000 and of course everyone else’s gets 20,000 because there’s no losing in bake off.

It’s been a great time hosting, can’t wait to see you all again soon!