#jamie being 'passionate and vulnerable' with keeley

[halinski]

I didn't think rewatching ep 2.02 was gonna hit my JamieKeeley feels so hard like Keeley still loved Jamie so fucking much what???? 😭😭😭😭😭

[lunar-years]

Keeley definitely got turned on by Jamie being all vulnerable and passionate as he told her about his problems and how he wants to come back to richmond at that coffee shop hence why she went home and had a very deliberate wank to ROY being vulnerable, which was her way of telling herself like, 'NO you can't be turned on by Jamie anymore you're with Roy now let's refocus girlie' but then when Roy catches her out she literally can't help herself bringing up Jamie like they really are all crazy right from the start ❤️

[narniangirl1994]

It's interesting how so many of Roy and Keeley's relationship breakthroughs/milestones happen as a direct or indirect result of Jamie. Obviously them meeting in the first place was probably only because she started dating Jamie. But there were also so many other instances.

Keeley trying to make Jamie jealous by bidding on Roy at the charity auction led to the conversation between her and Roy about him not wanting to be used as a pawn and her realizing she needed to be accountable, which was their first significant conversation together before dating and the first real glimpse into what she could have with someone more mature. When Roy messed up his knee chasing Jamie down on the field, it allowed Keeley to comfort Roy at his most vulnerable moment and get that much closer to him.

When Keeley really wanted Roy to get out of his retirement funk and connect with football again, she compared him to Jamie trying to get back into the game. And directly after comparing Roy to Jamie (calling Jamie brave), Roy agreed to try the pundit gig and rediscovered his love of being involved in the game - allowing him to be vulnerable and passionate again for Keeley. When Roy was unknowingly crowding Keeley too much and didn't entirely understand where she was coming from, Jamie's statement about needing to give his fellow players space on the field helped Roy understand Keeley's need for space.

It's also fascinating how Jamie's love confession at the funeral came directly before and closely paralleled Roy's own confession to her about his feelings about death/love for Keeley. Jamie has also led to the individual growth of both Roy and Keeley (arguably Roy more than Keeley) and vice versa. This all makes for a very fascinating dynamic...

[tartt9]

Jamie always has been a passionate man. It's obvious to anyone who's seen him play even once before. He cares deeply, he fights hard for the things he cares about, and he's outwardly expressive when things don't go his way. He's had to actively rein himself in since talking with referees about decisions became a yellow card - he couldn't be suspended every sixth game because he believes refs are idiots. He's just as passionate in relationships as he is with football. He'd had to ward off paparazzis more frequently than he ever expected he'd have to when he was with Keeley. He didn't want them in their business, didn't want them in her business. Jamie doesn't care - most of the time - what he's photographed doing. There's still that picture of him holding a cigarette somewhere on the internet, even if the cig was Keeley's. He's never tried getting it wiped from social media, because he doesn't care. But when his loved ones' lives start getting pried into, Jamie takes things into his own hands to help them retain whatever privacy they may desire.

What he and Jon have requires privacy. Maybe it's selfish to want to remain a fucking superstar, but that's what Jamie wants. He knows he's made enemies. He doesn't fucking enunciate the fucking national anthem enough. The smiles he's had to force onto his face when members of the royal family come to England training have been... well, forced. He's not the suave, smooth, charming Manc he is with everyone else. Not to mention the whole Saudi thing that'd happened last year. He's made enemies. But he doesn't want to make more enemies just for loving the man he loves. He wants to be able to love Jon as publicly as Jon deserves to be loved, but at the same time, he's terrified to be seen for what he truly is. The wordless thing that he is will haunt him for the rest of his life, brought upon by his father calling him words that will never leave his mind whenever he saw Jamie watching a Chelsea match for Roy Kent.

"I love your big stupid heart," Jamie says with a gesture of a shaking right hand that immediately curls up in the hem of his shirt afterwards. Being vulnerable is fucking scary. He's heard Southgate talk about the necessity of being open and honest and loving with his teammates, how their joys are his joys, their sorrows are his sorrows. But he's still working on letting others into his sorrow. Jon knows his mum, but Jamie doesn't think he's ever brought up his dad. He doesn't want anger, he doesn't want pity, so he avoids the topic altogether. Maybe Georgie and Jon have spoken about it, but Jamie doesn't want that man to infect something great, so he doesn't speak about his namesake. "And that GQ piece were fucking wrong." He has to take a deep breath to keep his voice from trembling.

"Someday... I want to. I mean it." He leans himself against Jon, listening to his heart beating. He's never felt this small with a partner before, but then again, he's never been with someone as fucking massive as Jon Mazur is. "But... it's... it's gonna take time. And we need t'figure out how we want t'do... everything. And... telling the team's got t'come first. Telling Gareth's got t'come first, honestly... and... if he... I mean, fucking royalist, but he's a good man... if he chooses t'stop callin' us up after that, that'll lead to, like, public fucking outrage, but it's his choice. His team. He's the gaffer." Jamie pauses, blinking away the water in his eyes. He was never much of an easy crier; what's happened to him these past few years? Fucking Lasso, he tells himself. "I don't think he's gonna - I mean, he's a good man, seriously. But... it's something we've got t'be prepared for."

jon has fear -- he deeply worries about any form of coming out he may have to do, or have done for him, in the press. it twists in the pit of his gut pretty often, any time he's asked about his love life or about what he was doing and what plans exactly he had that meant he couldn't go out on the lash with any of the hammer lads.. he worries about the cold shoulders from them, about his extended family shunning him and his parents in return, about the court of public opinion. then there was the part of him that was the eternally hopeful lad - you had to be to be a hammer.

he won't let jamie's confusion, jamie's worry, to hurt him; he was a strong man and he loved so fiercely. by no way would this be an overnight thing. by no way was it an end of season thing! this was something so new and so.. daunting, something that would take time and thought and discussion. he would never expect jamie to be on board immediately and if he was never on board? well. jon loves jamie with all he's got, he'd sit happily indoors with the man forevermore. he swallows as jamie speaks, doesn't stare at him but tries to keep his eyes on him our of respect and out of adoration and understanding.

" that's alright. like i said i -- this isn't.. i'm not proposing, much as it sounded that way, yeah? i just.. wanted you to know. " southgate was the one who drilled into him, into that entire russia world cup team, the importance of being open about your feelings as a man and especially as a footballer. he normalised the boys using the word love toward one another, he instilled brotherhood among the ranks like nobody had done before and it'd rubbed off enough on jon. conversations about emotions, about relationships might be scary but they were needed at certain points and he loves jamie enough to be vulnerable like that in front of him, to bare his heart in his hands.

" hey, " he leans to press his lips to jamie's forehead, hesitant, soft, " i don't expect an answer. i don't expect you to want to hit the front pages of the papers tomorrow or ever. i wasn't.. thinking. sometimes my big stupid heart gets ahead of itself, yeah? gets ahead of itself and forgets how hard shit can be for blokes like us. " he tries to lighten the conversation just a little, " besides, you know one of the first gq pieces i did, they labelled me as someone far from marriage material. you'd be gettin' yourself into some trouble, wouldn't ya? wouldn't want that. " he'd protect jamie till the ends of the earth, loves him with all he had. to put him in a difficult position makes jon feel uneasy. he never wants to do that. stroking back jamie's locks, jonathan rests his cheek on the top of his head, " i love you, jamie. that's enough for me. "