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gracehosborn · 3 months ago

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Captain Alexander Hamilton: A Timeline

As Alexander Hamilton’s time serving as Captain of the New York Provincial Company of Artillery is about to become my main focus within The American Icarus: Volume I, I wanted to put a timeline together to share what I believe to be a super fascinating period in Hamilton's life that’s often overlooked. Both for anyone who may be interested and for my own benefit. If available to me, I've chosen to hyperlink primary materials directly for ease. My main repositories of info for this timeline were Michael E. Newton's Alexander Hamilton: The Formative Years, The Papers of Alexander Hamilton and The Papers of George Washington, Revolutionary War Series on Founders Online, and the Library of Congress, Hathitrust, and the Internet Archive. This was a lot of fun to put together and I can not wait to include fictionalizations of all this chaos in TAI (literally, 20-something chapters are dedicated to this) hehehe....

Because context is king, here is a rundown of the important events that led to Alexander Hamilton receiving his appointment as captain:

Preceding Appointment - 1775:

February 23rd: The Farmer Refuted, &c. is first published in James Rivington’s New-York Gazetteer. The publication was preceded by two announcements, and is a follow up to a string of pamphlet debate between Hamilton and Samuel Seabury that had started in the fall of 1774. The Farmer Refuted would have wide-reaching effects.

April 19th: Battles of Lexington and Concord — The first shots of the American War for Independence are fired in Lexington, Massachusetts, and soon followed by fighting in Concord, Massachusetts.

April 23rd: News of Lexington and Concord first reaches New York. [x] According to his friend Nicholas Fish in a later letter, "immediately after the battle of Lexington," Hamilton "attached himself to one of the uniform Companies of Militia then forming for the defense of the Country by the patriotic young men of this city." It is most likely that Hamilton enlisted in late April or May of 1775, and a later record of June shows that Hamilton had joined the Corsicans (later named the Hearts of Oak), alongside Nicholas Fish and Robert Troup (see Newton, Michael E. Alexander Hamilton: The Formative Years, pg. 127; for Fish's letter, Newton cites a letter from Fish to Timothy Pickering, dated December 26, 1823 within the Timothy Pickering Papers of the Massachusetts Historical Society).

June 14th: Within weeks of his enlistment, Hamilton's name appears within a list of men from the regiments throughout New York that were recommended to be promoted as officers if a Provencal Company should be raised (pp. 194-5, Historical Magazine, Vol 7).

June 15th: Congress, seated in Philadelphia, establishes the Continental Army. George Washington is unanimously nominated and accepts the post of Commander-in-Chief. [x]

Also on June 15th: Alexander Hamilton’s Remarks On the Quebec Bill: Part One is published in James Rivington’s New-York Gazetteer.

June 22nd: The Quebec Bill: Part Two is published in James Rivington’s New-York Gazetteer.

June 25th: On their way to Boston, General Washington and his generals make a short stop in New York City. The Provincial Congress orders Colonel John Lasher to "send one company of the militia to Powle's Hook to meet the Generals" and that Lasher "have another company at this side (of) the ferry for the same purpose; that he have the residue of his battalion ready to receive" Washington and his men. There is no confirmation that Alexander Hamilton was present at this welcoming parade, however it is likely, due to the fact that the Corsicans were apart of John Lasher's battalion. [x]

Also on June 25th: According to a diary entry by one Ewald Shewkirk, a dinner reception was held in Washington's honor. It is unknown if Hamilton was present at this dinner, however there is no evidence to suggest he could not have been (see Newton, Michael E. Alexander Hamilton: The Formative Years, pg. 129; Newton cites Johnston, Henry P. The Campaigns of 1776 around New York and Brooklyn, Vol. 2, pg. 103).

August 23-24th: According to his friend Hercules Mulligan decades later in his “Narrative” (being a biographical sketch, reprinted in the William & Mary Quarterly alongside a “Narrative” and letters from Robert Troup), Hamilton and himself took part in a raid upon the city's Battery with a group composed of the Corsicans and some others. They managed to haul off a good number of the cannons down in the city Battery. However, the Asia, a ship in the harbor, soon sent a barge and later came in range of the raiding party itself, firing upon them. According to Mulligan, “Hamilton at the first firing [when the barge appeared with a small gun-crew] was away with the Cannon.” Mulligan had been pulling this cannon, when Hamilton approached and asked Mulligan to take his musket for him, taking the cannon in exchange. Mulligan, out of fear left Hamilton’s musket at the Battery after retreating. Upon Hamilton’s return they crossed paths again and Hamilton asked for his musket. Being told where it had been left in the fray, “he went for it, notwithstanding the firing continued, with as much unconcern as if the vessel had not been there.”

September 14th: The Hearts of Oak first appear in the city records. [x] Within the list of officers, Fredrick Jay (John Jay’s younger brother), is listed as the 1st Lieutenant, and also appears in a record of August 9th as the 2nd Lieutenant of the Corsicans. This, alongside John C. Hamilton’s claims regarding Hamilton’s early service, has left historians to conclude that either the Corsicans reorganized into the Hearts of Oak (this more likely), or members of the Corsicans later joined the Hearts of Oak.

December 4th: In a letter to Brigadier General Alexander McDougall, John Jay writes “Be so kind as to give the enclosed to young Hamilton.” This enclosure was presumably a reply to Hamilton’s letter of November 26th (in which he raised concern for an attack upon James Rivington’s printing shop), however Jay’s reply has not been found.

December 8th: Again in a letter to McDougall, Jay mentions Hamilton: “I hope Mr. Hamilton continues busy, I have not recd. Holts paper these 3 months & therefore cannot Judge of the Progress he makes.” What this progress is, or anything written by Hamilton in John Holt’s N. Y. Journal during this period has not been definitively confirmed, leaving historians to argue over possible pieces written by Hamilton.

December 31st: Hamilton replies to Jay’s letter that McDougall likely gave him around the 14th [x]. Comparing the letters Hamilton sent in November and December I will likely save for a different post, but their differences are interesting; more so with Jay’s reply having not been found.

These mentionings of Hamilton between Jay and McDougall would become important in the next two months when, in January of 1776, the New York Provincial Congress authorized the creation of a provincial company of artillery. In the coming weeks, Hamilton would see a lot of things changing around him.

Hamilton Takes Command - 1776:

February 23rd: During a meeting of the Provincial Congress, Alexander McDougall recommends Hamilton for captain of this new artillery company, James Moore as Captain-Lieutenant (i.e: second-in-command), and Martin Johnston for 1st Lieutenant. [x]

February-March: According to Hercules Mulligan, again in his “Narrative”, "a Commission as a Capt. of Artillery was promised to" Alexander Hamilton "on the Condition that he should raise thirty men. I went with him that very afternoon and we engaged 25 men." While it is accurate that Hamilton was responsible for raising his company, as acknowledged by the New York Provincial Congress [later renamed] on August 9th 1776, Mulligan's account here is messy. Mulligan misdates this promise, and it may not have been realistic that they convinced twenty-five men to join the company in one afternoon. Nevertheless, Mulligan could have reasonably helped Hamilton recruit men between the time he was nominated for captancy and received his commission.

March 5th: Alexander Hamilton opens an account with Alsop Hunt and James Hunt to supply his company with "Buckskin breeches." The account would run through October 11th of 1776, and the final receipt would not be received until 1785, as can be seen in Hamilton's 1782-1791 cash book.

March 10th: Anticipating his appointment, Hamilton purchases fabrics and other materials for the making of uniforms from a Thomas Garider and Lieutenant James Moore. The materials included “blue Strouds [wool broadcloth]”, “long Ells for lining,” “blue Shalloon,” and thread and buttons. [x]

Hamilton later recorded in March of 1784 within his 1782-1791 cash book that he had “paid Mr. Thompson Taylor [sic: tailor] by Mr Chaloner on my [account] for making Cloaths for the said company.” This payment is listed as “34.13.9” The next entry in the cash book notes that Hamilton paid “6. 8.7” for the “ballance of Alsop Hunt and James Hunts account for leather Breeches supplied the company ⅌ Rects [per receipts].” [x]

Following is a depiction of Hamilton’s company uniform!

First up is an illustration of an officer (not Hamilton himself) as seen in An Illustrated Encyclopedia of Uniforms of The American War For Independence, 1775-1783 Smith, Digby; Kiley, Kevin F. pg. 121. By the list of supplies purchased above, this would seem to be the most accurate depiction of the general uniform.

Here is another done in 1923 of Alexander Hamilton in his company's uniform:

March 14th: The New York Provincial Congress orders that "Alexander Hamilton be, and he is hereby, appointed captain of the Provincial company of artillery of this Colony.” Alongside Hamilton, James Gilleland (alternatively spelt Gilliland) is appointed to be his 2nd Lieutenant. “As soon as his company was raised, he proceeded with indefatigable pains, to perfect it in every branch of discipline and duty,” Robert Troup recalled in a later letter to John Mason in 1820 (reprinted alongside Mulligan’s recollections in the William & Mary Quarterly), “and it was not long before it was esteemed the most beautiful model of discipline in the whole army.”

March 24th: Within a pay roll from "first March to first April, 1776," Hamilton records that Lewis Ryan, a matross (who assisted the gunners in loading, firing, and spounging the cannons), was dismissed from the company "For being subject to Fits." Also on this pay roll, it is seen that John Bane is listed as Hamilton's 3rd Lieutenant, and James Henry, Thomas Thompson, and Samuel Smith as sergeants.

March 26th: William I. Gilbert, also a matross, is dismissed from the company, "for misbehavior." [x]

March-April: At some point between March and April of 1776, Alexander Hamilton drops out of King's College to put full focus towards his new duties as an artillery captain. King's College would shut down in April as the war came to New York City, and the building would be occupied by American (and later British) forces. Hamilton would never go back to complete his college degree.

April 2nd: The Provincial Congress having decided that the company who were assigned to guard the colony's records had "been found a very expensive Colony charge" orders that Hamilton "be directed to place and keep a proper guard of his company at the Records, until further order..." (Also see the PAH) According to historian Willard Sterne Randall in an article for the Smithsonian Magazine, the records were to be "shipped by wagon from New York’s City Hall to the abandoned Greenwich Village estate of Loyalist William Bayard." [x]

Not-so-fun fact: it is likely that this is the same Bayard estate that Alexander Hamilton would spend his dying hours inside after his duel with Aaron Burr 28 years later.

April 4th: Hamilton writes a letter to Colonel Alexander McDougall acknowledging the payment of "one hundred and seventy two pounds, three shillings and five pence half penny, for the pay of the Commissioned, Non commissioned officers and privates of [his] company to the first instant, for which [he has] given three other receipts." This letter is also printed at the bottom of Hamilton’s pay roll for March and April of 1776.

April 10th: In a letter of the previous day [April 9th] from General Israel Putnam addressed to the Chairmen of the New York Committee of Safety, which was read aloud during the meeting of the New York Provincial Congress, Putnam informs the Congress that he desires another company to keep guard of the colony records, stating that "Capt. H. G. Livingston's company of fusileers will relieve the company of artillery to-morrow morning [April 10th, this date], ten o'clock." Thusly, Hamilton was relieved of this duty.

April 20th: A table appears in the George Washington Papers within the Library of Congress titled "A Return of the Company of Artillery commanded by Alexander Hamilton April 20th, 1776." The Library of Congress itself lists this manuscript as an "Artillery Company Report." The Papers of Alexander Hamilton editors calendar this table and describe the return as "in the form of a table showing the number of each rank present and fit for duty, sick, on furlough, on command duty, or taken as prisoner." [x]

The table, as seen above, shows that by this time, Hamilton’s company consisted of 69 men. Reading down the table of returns, it is seen that three matrosses are marked as “Sick [and] Present” and one matross is noted to be “Sick [and] absent,” and two bombarders and one gunner are marked as being “On Command [duty].” Most interestingly, in the row marked “Prisoners,” there are three sergeants, one corporal, and one matross listed.

Also on April 20th: Alexander Hamilton appears in General George Washington's General Orders of this date for the first time. Washington wrote that sergeants James Henry and Samuel Smith, Corporal John McKenny, and Richard Taylor (who was a matross) were "tried at a late General Court Martial whereof Col. stark was President for “Mutiny"...." The Court found both Henry and McKenny guilty, and sentenced both men to be lowered in rank, with Henry losing a month's pay, and McKenny being imprisoned for two weeks. As for Smith and Taylor, they were simply sentenced for disobedience, but were to be "reprimanded by the Captain, at the head of the company." Washington approved of the Court's decision, but further ordered that James Henry and John McKenny "be stripped and discharged [from] the Company, and [that] the sentence of the Court martial, upon serjt Smith, and Richd Taylor, to be executed to morrow morning at Guard mounting." As these numbers nearly line up with the return table shown above, it is clear that the table was written in reference to these events. What actions these men took in committing their "Mutiny" are unclear.

May 8th: In Washington's General Orders of this date, another of Hamilton's men, John Reling, is written to have been court martialed "for “Desertion,” [and] is found guilty of breaking from his confinement, and sentenced to be confin’d for six-days, upon bread and water." Washington approved of the Court's decision.

May 10th: In his General Orders of this date, General Washington recorded that "Joseph Child of the New-York Train of Artillery" was "tried at a late General Court Martial whereof Col. Huntington was President for “defrauding Christopher Stetson of a dollar, also for drinking Damnation to all Whigs, and Sons of Liberty, and for profane cursing and swearing”...." The Court found Child guilty of these charges, and "do sentence him to be drum’d out of the army." Although Hamilton was not explicitly mentioned, his company was commonly referred to as the "New York Train of Artillery" and Joseph Child is shown to have enlisted in Hamilton's company on March 28th. [x]

May 11th: In his General Orders of this date, General Washington orders that "The Regiment and Company of Artillery, to be quarter’d in the Barracks of the upper and lower Batteries, and in the Barracks near the Laboratory" which would of course include Alexander Hamilton's company. and that "As soon as the Guns are placed in the Batteries to which they are appointed, the Colonel of Artillery, will detach the proper number of officers and men, to manage them...." Where exactly Hamilton and his men were staying prior to this is unclear.

May 15th: Hamilton appears by name once more in General George Washington’s General Orders of this date. Hamilton’s artillery company is ordered “to be mustered [for a parade/demonstration] at Ten o’Clock, next Sunday morning, upon the Common, near the Laboratory.”

May 16th: In General Washington's General Orders of this date, it is written that "Uriah Chamberlain of Capt. Hamilton’s Company of Artillery," was recently court martialed, "whereof Colonel Huntington was president for “Desertion”—The Court find the prisoner guilty of the charge, and do sentence him to receive Thirty nine Lashes, on the bare back, for said offence." Washington approved of this sentence, and orders "it to be put in execution, on Saturday morning next, at guard mounting."

May 18th: Presumably, Hamilton carried out the orders given by Washington in his General Orders of May 16th, and on the morning of this date oversaw the lashing of Uriah Chamberlain at "the guard mounting."

May 19th: At 10 a.m., Hamilton and his men gathered at the Common (a large green space within the city which is now City Hall Park) to parade before Washington and some of his generals as had been ordered in Washington's General Orders of May 15th. In his Sketches of the Life and Correspondence of Nathanael Greene (on page 57), William Johnson in 1822 recounted that, (presumably around or about this event):

It was soon after Greene's arrival on Long Island, and during his command at that post, that he became acquainted with the late General Hamilton, afterwards so conspicuous in the councils of this country. It was his custom when summoned to attend the commander in chief, to walk, when accompanied by one or more of his aids, from the ferry landing to head-quarters. On one of these occasions, when passing by the place then called the park, now enclosed by the railing of the City-Hall, and which was then the parade ground of the militia corps, Hamilton was observed disciplining a juvenile corps of artillerist, who, like himself, aspired to future usefulness. Greene knew not who he was, but his attention was riveted by the vivacity of his motion, the ardour of his countenance, and not less by the proficiency and precision of movement of his little corps. Halt behind the crowd until an interval of rest afforded an opportunity, an aid was dispatched to Hamilton with a compliment from General Greene upon the proficiency of his corps and the military manner of their commander, with a request to favor him with his company to dinner on a specified day. Those who are acquainted with the ardent character and grateful feelings of Hamilton will judge how this message was received. The attention never forgotten, and not many years elapsed before an opportunity occurred and was joyfully embraced by Hamilton of exhibiting his gratitude and esteem for the man whose discerning eye had at so early a period done justice to his talents and pretensions. Greene soon made an opportunity of introducing his young acquaintance to the commander in chief, and from his first introduction Washington "marked him as his own."

Michael E. Newton notes that William Johnson never produced a citation for this tale, and goes on to give a brief historiography of it (Johnson being the first to write about this). While it is possible that General Greene could have sent an aide-de-camp to give his compliments to Hamilton after seeing his parade drill, there is no certain evidence to suggest that Greene introduced Hamilton to George Washington. Newton also notes that "John C. Hamilton failed to endorse any part of the story." (see Newton, Michael E. Alexander Hamilton: The Formative Years, pp. 150-152).

May 26th: Alexander Hamilton writes a letter to the New York Provincial Congress concerning the pay of his men. Hamilton points out that his men are not being paid as they should be in accordance to rules past, and states that “They do the same duty with the other companies and think themselves entitled to the same pay. They have been already comparing accounts and many marks of discontent have lately appeared on this score.” Hamilton further points out that another company, led by Captain Sebastian Bauman, were being paid accordingly and were able to more easily recruit men.

Also on May 26th: the Provencal Congress approved Hamilton’s request, resolving that Hamilton and his men would receive the same pay as the Continental artillery, and that for every man he recruited, Hamilton would receive 10 shillings. [x]

May 31st: Captain Hamilton receives orders from the Provincial Congress that he, “or any or either of his officers," are "authorized to go on board any ship or vessel in this harbour, and take with them such guard as may be necessary, and that they make strict search for any men who may have deserted from Captain Hamilton’s company.” These orders were given after "one member informed the Congress that some of Captain Hamilton’s company of artillery have deserted, and that he has some reasons to suspect that they are on board of the Continental ship, or vessel, in this harbour, under the command of Capt. Kennedy." Unfortunately, I as of writing this have been unable to find any solid information on this Captain Kennedy to better identify him, or his vessel.

June 8th: The New York Provincial Congress orders that Hamilton "furnish such a guard as may be necessary to guard the Provincial gunpowder" and that if Hamilton "should stand in need of any tents for that purpose" Colonel Curtenius would provide them. It is unknown when Hamilton's company was relieved of this duty, however three weeks later, on June 30th, the Provincial Congress "Ordered, That all the lead, powder, and other military stores" within the "city of New York be forthwith removed from thence to White Plains." [x]

Also on June 8th: the Provincial Congress further orders that "Capt. Hamilton furnish daily six of his best cartridge makers to work and assist" at the "store or elaboratory [sic] under the care of Mr. Norwood, the Commissary."

June 10th: Besides the portion of Hamilton's company that was still guarding the colony's gunpowder, it is seen in a report by Henry Knox (reprinted in Force, Peter. American Archives, 4th Series, vol. VI, pg. 920) that another portion of the company was stationed at Fort George near the Battery, in sole command of four 32-pound cannons, and another two 12-pound cannons. Simultaneously, another portion of Hamilton's company was stationed just below at the Grand Battery, where the companies of Captain Pierce, Captain Burbeck, and part of Captain Bauman's manned an assortment of cannons and mortars.

June 17th: The New York Provincial Congress resolves that "Capt. Hamilton's company of artillery be considered so many and a part of the quota of militia to be raised for furnished by the city or county of New-York."

June 29th: A return table, reprinted in Force, Peter's American Archives, 4th Series, vol. VI, pg. 1122 showcases that Alexander Hamilton's company has risen to 99 men. Eight of Hamilton's men--one bombarder, two gunners, one drummer, and four matrosses--are marked as being "Sick [but] present." One sergeant is marked as "Sick [and] absent" and two matrosses are marked as "Prisoners."

July 4th: In Philadelphia, the Continental Congress approves the Declaration of Independence.

July 9th: The Continental Army gathers in the New York City Common to hear the Declaration read aloud from City Hall. In all the excitement, a group of soldiers and the Sons of Liberty (who included Hercules Mulligan) rushed down to the Bowling Green to tear down an equestrian statue of King George III, which they would melt into musket balls. For a history of the statue, see this article from the Journal of the American Revolution.

Also on July 9th: the New York Provincial Congress approve the Declaration of Independence, and hereafter refer to themselves as the Convention of the Representatives of the State of New York. [x]

July 12th: Multiple accounts record that the British ships Phoenix and Rose are sailing up the Hudson River, near the Battery, when as Hercules Mulligan stated in a later recollection, "Capt. Hamilton went on the Battery with his Company and his piece of artillery and commenced a Brisk fire upon the Phoenix and Rose then passing up the river. When his Cannon burst and killed two of his men who I distinctly recollect were buried in the Bowling Green." Mulligan's number of deaths may be incorrect however. Isac Bangs records in his journal that, "by the carelessness of our own Artilery Men Six Men were killed with our own Cannon, & several others very badly wounded." Bangs noted further that "It is said that several of the Company out of which they were killed were drunk, & neglected to Spunge, Worm, & stop the Vent, and the Cartridges took fire while they were raming them down." In a letter to his wife, General Henry Knox wrote that "We had a loud cannonade, but could not stop [the Phoenix and Rose], though I believe we damaged them much. They kept over on the Jersey side too far from our batteries. I was so unfortunate as to lose six men by accidents, and a number wounded." Matching up with Bangs and Knox, in his own journal, Lieutenant Solomon Nash records that, "we had six men cilled [sic: killed], three wound By our Cannons which went off Exedently [sic: accidentally]...." A William Douglass of Connecticut wrote to his wife on July 20th that they suffered "the loss of 4 men in loading [the] Cannon." (as seen in Newton, Michael E. Alexander Hamilton: The Formative Years, pg. 142; Newton cites Henry P. Johnston's The Campaigns of 1776 in and around New York and Brooklyn, vol. 2, pg. 67). As these accounts cobberrate each other, it is clear that at least six men were killed. Whether these were all due to Hamilton's cannon exploding is unclear, but is a possibility. Hamilton of course was not punished for this, but that is besides the point.

One of the men injured by the explosion of the cannon was William Douglass, a matross in Hamilton's company (not to be confused with the William Douglass quoted above from Connecticut). According to a later certificate written by Hamilton on September 14th, Douglass "faithfully served as a matross in my company till he lost his arm by an unfortunate accident, while engaged in firing at some of the enemy’s ships." The Papers of Alexander Hamilton editors date Douglass' injury to June 12th, but it is clear that this occurred on July 12th due to the description Hamilton provides.

July 26th: Hamilton writes a letter to the Convention of the Representatives (who he mistakenly addresses as the "The Honoruable The Provincial Congress") concerning the amount of provisions for his company. He explains that there is a difference in the supply of rations between what the Continental Army and Provisional Army and his company are receiving. He writes that "it seems Mr. Curtenius can not afford to supply us with more than his contract stipulates, which by comparison, you will perceive is considerably less than the forementioned rate. My men, you are sensible, are by their articles, entitled to the same subsistence with the Continental troops; and it would be to them an insupportable discrimination, as well as a breach of the terms of their enlistment, to give them almost a third less provisions than the whole army besides receives." Hamilton requests that the Convention "readily put this matter upon a proper footing." He also notes that previously his men had been receiving their full pay, however under an assumption by Peter Curtenius that he "should have a farther consideration for the extraordinary supply."

July 31st: The Convention of the Representatives of the State of New York read Hamilton's letter of July 26th at their meeting, and order that "as Capt. Hamilton's company was formally made a part of General Scott's brigade, that they be henceforth supplied provisions as part of that Brigade."

A Note On Captain Hamilton’s August Pay Book:

Starting in August of 1776, Hamilton began to keep another pay book. It is evident by Thomas Thompson being marked as the 3rd lieutenant that this was started around August 15th. The cover is below:

For unknown reasons, the editors of The Papers of Alexander Hamilton only included one section of the artillery pay book in their transcriptions, being a dozen or so pages of notes Hamilton wrote presumably after concluding his time as a captain on some books he was reading. The first section of the book (being the first 117 image scans per the Library of Congress) consists of payments made to and by Hamilton’s men, each receiving his own page spread, with the first few pages being a list of all men in the company as of August 1776, organized by surname alphabetically. The last section of the pay book (Image scans 181 to 185) consists of weekly company return tables starting in October of 1776.

As these sections are not transcribed, I will be including the image scans when necessary for full transparency, in case I have read something incorrectly. Now, back to the timeline....

August 3rd: John Davis and James Lilly desert from Hamilton's company. Hamilton puts out an advertisement that would reward anyone who could either "bring them to Captain Hamilton's Quarters" or "give Information that they may be apprehended." It is presumed that Hamilton wrote this notice himself (see Newton, Michael E. Alexander Hamilton: The Formative Years, pp. 147-148; for the notice, Newton cites The New-York Gazette; and the weekly Mercury, August 5, 12, and September 2nd, 1776 issues).

August 9th: The Convention of the Representatives resolve that "The company of artillery formally raised by Capt. Hamilton" is "considered as a part of the number ordered to be raised by the Continental Congress from the militia of this State, and therefore" Hamilton's company "hereby is incorporated into Genl. Scott's brigade." Here, Hamilton would be reunited with his old friend, Nicholas Fish, who had recently been appointed as John Scott's brigade major. [x]

August 12th: Captain Hamilton writes a letter to the Convention of the Representatives concerning a vacancy in his company. Hamilton explains that this is due to “the promotion of Lieutenant Johnson to a captaincy in one of the row-gallies, (which command, however, he has since resigned, for a very particular reason.).” He requests that his first sergeant, Thomas Thompson, be promoted as he “has discharged his duty in his present station with uncommon fidelity, assiduity and expertness. He is a very good disciplinarian, possesses the advantage of having seen a good deal of service in Germany; has a tolerable share of common sense, and is well calculated not to disgrace the rank of an officer and gentleman.…” Hamilton also requested that lieutenants James Gilleland and John Bean be moved up in rank to fill the missing spots.

August 14th: The Convention of the Representatives, upon receiving Hamilton’s letter of August 12th, order that Colonel Peter R. Livingston, "call upon [meet with] Capt. Hamilton, and inquire into this matter and report back to the House."

August 15th: Colonel Peter R. Livingston reports back to the Convention of the Representatives that, "the facts stated by Capt. Hamilton are correct..." The Convention thus resolves that "Thomas Thompson be promoted to the rank of a lieutenant in the said company; and that this Convention will exert themselves in promoting, from time to time, such privates and non-commissioned officers in the service of this State, as shall distinguish themselves...." The Convention further orders that these resolutions be published in the newspapers.

August ???: According to Hercules Mulligan in his "Narrative" account, Alexander Hamilton, along with John Mason, "Mr. Rhinelander" and Robert Troup, were at the Mulligan home for dinner. Here, Mulligan writes that, after Rhineland and Troup had "retired from the table" Hamilton and Mason were "lamenting the situation of the army on Long Island and suggesting the best plans for its removal," whereupon Mason and Hamilton decided it would be best to write "an anonymous letter to Genl. Washington pointing out their ideas of the best means to draw off the Army." Mulligan writes that he personally "saw Mr. H [Hamilton] writing the letter & heard it read after it was finished. It was delivered to me to be handed to one of the family of the General and I gave it to Col. Webb [Samuel Blachley Webb] then an aid de Champ [sic: aide-de-camp]...." Mulligan expresses that he had "no doubt he delivered it because my impression at that time was that the mode of drawing off the army which was adopted was nearly the same as that pointed out in the letter." There is no other source to contradict or challenge Hercules Mulligan's first-hand account of this event, however the letter discussed has not been found.

August 24th: Alexander Hamilton helped to prevent Lieutenant Colonel Herman Zedwitz from committing treason. On August 25th, a court martial was held (reprinted in Force, Peter. American Archives, 5th Series, vol. I, pp. 1159-1161) wherein Zedwitz was charged with "holding a treacherous correspondence with, and giving intelligence to, the enemies of the United States." In a written disposition for the trial, Augustus Stein tells the Court that on the previous day [this date, August 24th] Zedwitz had given him a letter with which Stein was directed "to go to Long-Island with [the] letter [addressed] to Governour Tryon...." Stein, however, wrote that he immediately went "to Captain Bowman's house, and broke the letter open and read it. Soon after. Captain Bowman came in, and I told him I had something to communicate to the General. We sent to Captain Hamilton, and he went to the General's, to whom the letter was delivered." By other instances in this court martial record, it is clear that Stein had meant Captain Sebastian Bauman (and to this, Zedwitz's name is also spelled many different times throughout this record), which would indicate that the "Captain Hamilton" mentioned was Alexander Hamilton, Bauman's fellow artillery captain. Bauman was the only captain serving by that name in the army at this time (see Heitman, Francis B. Historical Register of the Officers of the Continental Army during the War of the Revolution, pg. 92). It could be possible that Alexander Hamilton personally delivered this letter into Washington's hands and explained the situation, or that he passed it on to one of Washington's staff members.

August 27th: Battle of Long Island — Although Alexander Hamilton was not involved in this battle, for no primary accounts explicitly place him in the middle of this conflict, it is significant to note considering the previous entry on this timeline.

May-August: According to Robert Troup, again in his 1821 letter to John Mason, he had paid Hamilton a visit during the summer of 1776, but did not provide a specific date. Troup noted that, “at night, and in the morning, he [Hamilton] went to prayer in his usual mode. Soon after this visit we were parted by our respective duties in the Army, and we did not meet again before 1779.” This date however, may be inaccurate, for also according to Troup in another letter reprinted later in the William & Mary Quarterly, they had met again while Hamilton was in Albany to negotiate the movement of troops with General Horatio Gates in 1777.

September 7th: In his General Orders of this date, General Washington writes that John Davis, a member of Alexander Hamilton's company who had deserted in early August, was recently "tried by a Court Martial whereof Col. Malcom was President, was convicted of “Desertion” and sentenced to receive Thirty-nine lashes." Washington approved of this sentence, and ordered that it be carried out "on the regimental parade, at the usual hour in the morning."

September 8th: In his General Orders of this date, Washington writes that John Little, a member of "Col. Knox’s Regt of Artillery, [and] Capt. Hamilton’s Company," was tried at a recent court martial, and convicted of “Abusing Adjt Henly, and striking him”—ordered to receive Thirty-nine lashes...." Washington approved of this sentence, and ordered it, along with the other court martial sentences noted in these orders, to be "put in execution at the usual time & place."

September 14th: Hamilton writes a certificate to the Convention of the Representatives of the State of New York regarding his matross, William Douglass, who “lost his arm by an unfortunate accident, while engaged in firing at some of the enemy’s ships” on July 12th. Hamilton recommends that a recent resolve of the Continental Congress be heeded regarding “all persons disabled in the service of the United States.”

September 15th: On this date, the Continental Army evacuated New York City for Harlem Heights as the British sought control of the city. According to the Memoirs of Aaron Burr, vol. 1, General Sullivan’s brigade had been left in the city due to miscommunication, and were “conducted by General Knox to a small fort” which was Fort Bunker Hill. Burr, then a Major and aide-de-camp to General Israel Putman, was directed with the assistance of a few dragoons “to pick up the stragglers,” inside the fort. Being that Knox was in command of the Army’s artillery, Hamilton’s company would be among those still at the fort. Major Burr and General Knox then had a brief debate (Knox wishing to continue the fight whereas Burr wished to help the brigade retreat to safety). Aaron Burr at last remarked that Fort Bunker Hill “was not bomb-proof; that it was destitute of water; and that he could take it with a single howitzer; and then, addressing himself to the men, said, that if they remained there, one half of them would be killed or wounded, and the other half hung, like dogs, before night; but, if they would place themselves under his command, he would conduct them in safety to Harlem.” (See pages 100-101). Corroborating this account are multiple certificates and letters from eyewitnesses of this event reprinted in the Memiors on pages 101-106. In a letter, Nathaniel Judson recounted that, “I was near Colonel Burr when he had the dispute with General Knox, who said it was madness to think of retreating, as we should meet the whole British army. Colonel Burr did not address himself to the men, but to the officers, who had most of them gathered around to hear what passed, as we considered ourselves as lost.” Judson also remarked that during the retreat to Harlem Heights, the brigade had “several brushes with small parties of the enemy. Colonel Burr was foremost and most active where there was danger, and his con-duct, without considering his extreme youth, was afterwards a constant subject of praise, and admiration, and gratitude.”

Alexander Hamilton himself recounted in later testimony for Major General Benedict Arnold’s court martial of 1779 that he “was among the last of our army that left the city; the enemy was then on our right flank, between us and the main body of our army.” Hamilton also recalled that upon passing the home of a Mr. Seagrove, the man left the group he was entertaining and “came up to me with strong appearances of anxiety in his looks, informed me that the enemy had landed at Harlaam, and were pushing across the island, advised us to keep as much to the left as possible, to avoid being intercepted….” Hercules Mulligan also recounted in his “Narrative” printed in the William & Mary Quarterly that Hamilton had “brought up the rear of our army,” and unfortunately lost “his baggage and one of his Cannon which broke down.” [x]

September ???: As can be seen in Hamilton's August 1776-May 1777 pay book, while stationed in Harlem Heights (often abbreviated as "HH" in the pay book), nearly all of Hamilton's men received some sort of item, whether this be shoes, cash payments, or other articles.

October 4th: A return table for this date appears in Alexander Hamilton’s pay book, in the back. These return tables are not included in The Papers of Alexander Hamilton for unknown reasons.

The table, as seen above, provides us a snapshot of Hamilton’s company at this time, as no other information survives about the company during October. His company totaled to 49 men. Going down the table, two matrosses were “Sick [and] Present,” one bombarder, four gunners, and six matrosses were marked as “Sick [and] absent,” and two matrosses were marked as “On Furlough.” Interestingly, another two matrosses were marked as having deserted, and two matrosses were marked as “Prisoners.”

October 11th: In Hamilton’s pay book, below the table of October 4th, another weekly return table appears with this date marked.

The return table, as seen above, again records that Hamilton’s company consisted of 49 men. Reading down the table, two matrosses were marked as “Sick [and] Present,” one bombarder and four matrosses were marked as “Sick [and] absent,” and one captain-lieutenant [being James Moore], one sergeant, and two matrosses were marked as being “On Furlough.”

To the right of the date header, in place of the usual list of positions, there is a note inside the box. The note likely reads:

Drivers. 2_ Drafts_l?] 9_ 4 of which went over in order to get pay & Cloaths & was detained in their Regt [regiment]

Drafts were men who were drawn away from their regular unit to aid another, and it’s clear that Hamilton had many men drafted into his company. This note tells us that four of these men were sent by Hamilton to gather clothing for the company, and it is likely that they had to return to their original regiment before they could return the clothing. This, at least, makes the most sense (a huge thank you to @my-deer-friend and everyone else who helped me decipher this)!! In the bottom left-hand corner of the page, another note is present, however I am unable to decipher what it reads. If anyone is able, feel free to take a shot!

October 25th: Another weekly returns table appears in Hamilton’s company pay book. Once more, this table of returns was not transcribed within The Papers of Alexander Hamilton.

The table, as seen above, shows that Hamilton’s company still consisted of 49 men. Reading down the table, it can be seen that one matross and one drummer/fifer were “Sick [but] present,” and one sergeant, two bombarders, one gunner, and four matrosses were marked as “Sick [and] absent.” Interestingly, one matross was noted as being “Absent without care”. Two matrosses were listed as “Prisoners” and again two matrosses were listed as having “Deserted.”

Underneath the table, a note is written for which I am only able to make out part. It is clear that two men from another captain’s company were drafted by Hamilton for his needs.

October 28th: Battle of White Plains — Like with Long Island, there is no primary evidence to explicitly place Alexander Hamilton, his men, or his artillery as being involved in this battle, contrary to popular belief. See this quartet of articles by Harry Schenawolf from the Revolutionary War Journal.

November 6th: Captain Hamilton wrote another certificate to the Convention of the Representatives of the State of New York regarding his matross, William Douglass, who was injured during the attacks on July 12th. This certificate is nearly identical to the one of September 14th, and again Hamilton writes that Douglass is “intitled to the provision made by a late resolve of the Continental Congress, for those disabled in defence of American liberty.”

November 22nd: As can be seen in Hamilton's pay book, all of his men regardless of rank received payments of cash, and some men articles, on this date.

December 1st: Stationed near New Brunswick, New Jersey, General Washington wrote in a report to the President of Congress, that the British had formed along the Heights, opposite New Bunswick on the Raritan River, and notably that, "We had a smart canonade whilst we were parading our Men...." Alexander Hamilton's company pay book placed he and his men at New Brunswick in around this time (see image scans 25, 28, 34, and others) making it likely that Hamilton had been present and helped prevent the British from crossing the river while the Continental Army was still on the opposite side. In his Memoirs of My Own Life, vol. 1, James Wilkinson recorded that:

After two days halt at Newark, Lord Cornwallis on the 30th November advanced upon Brunswick, and ar- Dec. 1. rived the next evening on the opposite bank of the Rariton, which is fordable at low water. A spirited cannonade ensued across the river, in which our battery was served by Captain Alexander Hamilton,* but the effects on eitlierside, as is usual in contests between field batteries only, were inconsiderable. Genei'al Washington made a shew of resistance, but after night fall decamped...

Though Wilkinson was not present at this event, John C. Hamilton similarly recorded in both his Life of Alexander Hamilton [x] and History of the Republic [x] that Hamilton was part of the artillery firing the cannonade during this event. Though there is no firsthand account of Hamilton's presence here, it is highly likely that he and his company was involved in holding off the British so that the Continental Army could retreat.

December 4th?: Either on this date, or close to it, Alexander Hamilton’s second lieutenant, James Gilleland, left the company by resigning his commission to General Washington on account of “domestic inconveniences, and other motives,” according to a later letter Hamilton wrote on March 6th of 1777.

December 5th: Another return table appears in the George Washington Papers within the Library of Congress. This table is headed, "Return of the States of part of two Companeys of artilery Commanded by Col Henery Knox & Capt Drury & Capt Lt Moores of Capt Hamiltons Com." The Papers of Alexander Hamilton editors calendar this table, and note that Hamilton's "company had been assigned at first to General John Scott’s brigade but was soon transferred to the command of Colonel Henry Knox." They also note that the table "is in the writing of and signed by Jotham Drury...." [x]

The table, as seen above, notes part of the "Troop Strength" (as the Library of Congress notes) of Captain Jotham Drury and Captain Alexander Hamilton's men. As regards Hamilton's company, the portion that was recorded here amounted to 33 men.

December 19th: Within his Warrent Book No. 2, General George Washington wrote on this date a payment “To Capn Alexr Hamilton” for himself and his company of artillery, “from 1st Sepr to 1 Decr—1562 [dollars].” As reprinted within The Papers of Alexander Hamilton.

December 25th: Within Bucks County, Pennsylvania, hours before the famous Christmas Day crossing of the Delaware River by Washington and the Continental Army, Captain-Lieutenant James Moore passed away from a "short but excruciating fit of illness..." as Hamilton would later recount in a letter of March 6th, 1777. According to Washington Crossing Historic Park, Moore has been the only identified veteran to have been buried on the grounds during the winter encampment. His original headstone read: "To the Memory of Cap. James Moore of the New York Artillery Son of Benjamin & Cornelia Moore of New York He died Decm. the 25th A.D. 1776 Aged 24 Years & Eight Months." [x] In his aforementioned letter, Alexander Hamilton remarked that Moore was "a promising officer, and who did credit to the state he belonged to...." As Hamilton and Moore spent the majority of their time physically together (and therefore leaving no reason for there to be surviving correspondence between the two), there is no clear idea of what their working relationship may have looked like.

December 26th: Battle of Trenton — Alexander Hamilton is believed to have fought in he battle with his two six-pound cannons, having marched at the head of General Nathanael Greene's column and being placed at the end of King Street at the highest point in the town. Michael E. Newton does note however that there is no direct, explicit evidence placing Hamilton at the battle, but with the knowledge of eighteen cannons being present as ordered by George Washington in his General Orders of December 25th, it is highly likely the above was the case (see Newton, Michael E. Alexander Hamilton: The Formative Years, pp. 179-180; Newton cites a number of sources for circumstantial evidence: William Stryker's The Battles of Trenton and Princeton, Jac Weller's "Guns of Destiny: Field Artillery In the Trenton-Princeton Campaign" [Military Affairs, vol. 20, no. 1], and works by Broadus Mitchell).

December ???: Within Hamilton’s pay book, a note appears for December on the page dedicated to Uriah Crawford, a matross in his company. See a close up of the image scan below.

The note likely reads:

To Cash [per] for attendance during sickness [ampersand?] funeral expenses —

This note would thus indicate that Crawford likely passed away sometime during the month, and a funeral was held. That Hamilton paid the expenses for the funeral is quite a telling note. Crawford was also provided a pair of stockings in December.

Final Months - 1777:

January 2nd: Battle of Assumpink Creek — Near Trenton, the Continental Army positioned itself on one side of the Assumpink Creek to face the approaching British, who sought to cross the bridge into Trenton. In a letter of January 5th to John Hancock, Washington explained that "They attempted to pass Sanpink [sic: Assumpink] Creek, which runs through Trenton at different places, but finding the Fords guarded, halted & kindled their Fires—We were drawn up on the other side of the Creek. In this situation we remained till dark, cannonading the Enemy & receiving the fire of their Field peices [sic: pieces] which did us but little damage." According to James Wilkinson, who was present at this battle, Hamilton and his cannons were present. [x] Corroborating this, Henry Knox wrote in a letter to his wife of January 7th that, "Our army drew up with thirty or forty pieces of artillery in front", and an anonymous eyewitness account which noted that "within sevnty of eighty yards of the bridge, and directly in front of it, and in the road, as many pieces of artillery as could be managed were stationed" to stop the crossing of the British (see Raum, John. History of the City of Trenton, New Jersey, pp. 173-175). Further, another eyewitness account from a letter written by John Haslet reported a similar story (see Newton, Michael E. Alexander Hamilton: The Formative Years, pg. 181; for Haslet's account, Newton cites Johnston, Henry P. The Campaigns of 1776 around New York and Brooklyn, Vol. 2, pg. 157). This surely would have been a sight to behold.

January 3rd: Battle of Princeton -- Overnight, the Continental Army marched to Princeton, New Jersey with a train of artillery. Once more, Alexander Hamilton was not explicitly mentioned to have been present at the battle, however with 35 artillery pieces attacking the British (see again Henry Knox's letter of January 7th), and the large role these played in the battle, there is little doubt that Hamilton and his men played a part in this crucial victory (see Newton, Michael E. Alexander Hamilton: The Formative Years, pg. 182). According to legend, one of Hamilton's cannons fired upon Nassau Hall, destroying a painting of King George II. However, this has been disproven by many different scholars and writers, including Newton.

January 20th: In a letter to his aide-de-camp, Lieutenant Colonel Robert Hansen Harrison, George Washington requests Harrison to “forward the Inclosed to Captn Hamilton….” Unfortunately, the letter Washington intended to be given to Alexander Hamilton has not been found. It is believed by both the editors of Washington and Hamilton’s papers that this letter contained Washington’s request for Hamilton to join his military family.

Also on January 20th: Many of Hamilton’s men received payments of cash on this date. Alongside cash, one man, John Martim, a matross in Hamilton’s company, was paid cash “per [Lieutenant] Thompson” for his “going to the Hospital.” The hospital in particular, and the circumstances surrounding Martim’s stay are unknown. [x]

January 25th: As printed in The Papers of Alexander Hamilton, an advertisement appeared in the Pennsylvania Evening Post directly naming Hamilton. Only one sentence, the advertisement alerts Hamilton that he “should hear something to his advantage” by “applying to the printer of this paper….” Presumably this regarded George Washington wishing to make Hamilton his newest aide-de-camp.

January 30th: Alongside cash, a greatcoat, and cash per “Doctor [Chapman?]” and a cash balance due to him, Alexander Hamilton paid his third lieutenant Thomas Thompson for gathering “sundries in Philadelphia” and for his “journey to Camp”. See close up of the image scan below. [x]

Several other later pages in the pay book indicate that Hamilton and his men were in Philadelphia at some point in January and February. It is thus plausible that Hamilton went to see the printer of the Pennsylvania Evening Post and it may be possible that Lieutenant Thompson had accompanied him and have had picked up his items while in the city, however whether or not Hamilton actually made that journey, and Thompson’s involvement are my speculation only. It is also entirely possible that Thompson's "journey to Camp" was in reference to seeing the doctor, and had picked up the "sundries" then.

March 1st: At Morristown, New Jersey, in his General Orders of this date, George Washington announces and appoints Alexander Hamilton “Aide-De-Camp to the Commander in Chief,” and wrote that Hamilton was “to be respected and obeyed as such.”

March 6th: Alexander Hamilton writes a letter to the Convention of the Representatives of the State of New York regarding his artillery company for the last time. Hamilton explains a delay in writing due to having only “recently recovered from a long and severe fit of illness.” He goes on to explain the state of the company—that only two officers, lieutenants Thomas Thompson and James Bean, remained with the company and that Lieutenant Johnson "began the enlistment of the Compan⟨y,⟩ contrary to his orders from the convention, for the term of a year, instead of during the war" which, Hamilton explained, "with deaths and desertions; reduces it [the company] at present to the small number of 25 men." Hamilton then requests that Thomas Thompson be raised to Captain-Lieutenant, for Lieutenant Bean, "is so incurably addicted to a certain failing, that I cannot, in justice, give my opinion in favour of his preferment."

Remarkably, the New York Provincial Company of Artillery still survives to this day, and is the longest (and oldest) continually serving regular army unit in the history of the United States. For a deeper history of the company up to the present day, see this article from the American Battlefield Trust. The company are commonly referred to as “Hamilton’s Own” in honor of the young man who raised the company in 1776.

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ciceroprofacto · 20 days ago

Text

Castling

Manhattan, February 1774 - Part 1

'Tonight's company' entailed what had to be half of the city's nobility.

If New York had such a thing as aristocrats, this was them. Alexander recognized a handful of familiar faces from Elizabethtown as the Livingston's frequent visitors. He recognized another handful only as familiar names from the balancing sheets of Beekman and Creuger- who were also apparently in attendance.

Both hands full, he occupied himself with listening, observing, nodding along and politely shaking or kissing hands when offered.

Mulligan stayed by his side through countless introductions, gentlemen and ladies in their finest, dresses and embroidery and perfumes and powders. As a student and a tailor they were not these aristocrats' interest for the night, but they made pleasant conversation with them anyway while everyone waited for their meal to be served. All exceedingly polite, imminently important, somewhat familiar, and entirely forgettable.

Miles Cooper was indeed there, along with James Rivington and his wife Elizabeth, but so were Isaac Sears and his wife Sarah Drake, John Lamb and Catherine Jardine, George Clinton and Cornelia, Alexander McDougall and Hanna Botswick, Phillip Schuyler and Catherine van Rensselaer and his business prodigy William Duer, James Duane of the Manhattan Chancery Court with Mary Livingston, his friend James de Lancey, and Lancey’s rival Lewis Morris, Lewis’s brothers Staats, Richard, and Gouverneur who was the first familiar face Alexander had seen and the only person he knew well enough to linger near.

His smile was starting to ache, so he grabbed Mulligan’s wrist for a reprieve.

Mulligan looked at him and then up to Gouverneur who had been attending to Sarah and Sally while their fiancé and husband talked a few paces away. “I’ve been a negligent host to our young friend.” Mulligan confided to the young lawyer. “He’s without a drink,” he said, “Would you-”

“Of course! Come, Alex- we were just congratulating Sally on her recent triumph over the ton.”

Right…Alexander had heard about John Jay’s proposal just a month ago. He had very little direct contact with the Livingstons since he had decided to enroll at Kings- too Anglican for their association- but Kitty kept him involved. Barely eligible for a year and Sally was to be married to one of the brightest lawyers of their generation. He reached to take her hand. “A triumph indeed,” he said, gently brushing his lips to her lace glove.

“It is so good to see you, Alex,” she said, lowering her voice as if it was a confession.

He supposed it was. Calling him anything but ‘Mister Hamilton’ in their present company was closer to scandalous than his attention deserved and she knew it. But, her familiarity did make this stuck-up place feel more-comfortable.

Sally was a darling girl and a tender friend. Though he hadn’t been able to return the compliment, Alexander wasn’t oblivious to the favor she’d paid him while he boarded with her family. Innocent and aimless as it was. He’d felt her gaze at times, watching from the window while he recited latin speeches and poems to himself in the garden. He knew it had little to do with his private performances and far more to do with the vision of him generally- because he felt those same stares when he was simply sitting and reading. But, he would never pity a girl stationed so far above him for her feelings, and when he had disclosed his suspicions, hoping to warn her against them, she assured him that she wanted nothing more than fraternal love from him.

Which he was delighted to give.

Tonight, Sally was a vision in her bright green dress. It made her youth all the more stark, especially in their current company. It was no wonder that Kitty had been glad for Alex to be in New York, here to assist the scheming on her behalf as a brother should.

In the city, where men “could find all sorts of diversions to keep them from marriage until they’re rotting in their boots”, a preeminent bachelor of thirty was not a bad catch at all for a capable hunter like Sally.

Unfortunately, Livingston women were captives of their ton and the rules of courtship, dependent on fathers and brothers for introductions to suitors. Perhaps Alex had lacked the status to make such introductions, but he was a gallant defender. If not the Sword, at least the Shield, capable of subtly repelling the undesirables on her behalf. If the matter had been left up to Gouverneur alone, Kitty worried her sister might end up with a man four times her age.

Jay moved so slowly, there was a time that Alexander had feared she might. The older suitors were the hardest to deter.

Meanwhile, Gouverneur was so sure he’d orchestrated the grand match completely by himself, “All that I’ve seen of him at the practice, he’s kind and dedicated to the right. A true, honest man,” he was saying. “Which are so rare to find these days.”

“True. Women must make their own more often than not,” Sarah Drake Sears agreed. "Honest men that is."

“If only we were allowed to the bar-" Sally said, smiling tauntingly, "better yet, to sit at the bench. It would take a judge to make Gouverneur honest.”

Jay had stepped in closer at his fiancé’s side, near enough to hear her jab. “My ears were itching a moment ago, but now I’m not sure I want to hear why…” he said.

He'd brought Sears along with him to supervise their wives' ribbing. The gracefully-aging sea-captain-made-merchant wasn’t looking at Alexander, and yet still, being so close to the man that practically owned the city’s fealty, Alex's lungs felt tight.

To his credit, Morris had recovered quickly. “I was telling your darling Miss Livingston just how lucky she is to make your match, but now she's got me questioning the very concept of wives."

The glint in Jay's eyes cast a small warning towards Sally not to drive the knife too deep, but Sears was openly amused.

"A tricky one, I agree. Especially with one so quick-tongued and rudely beautiful." It should have been an insult, and from anyone else it might have, but Sally was pressing down a flustered smile against the King's harmless attentions. Sears turned to Morris to say, "Women age like wine. I would advise you to find a match that's been held in reserve a little longer, though there is something to be said for a crisp bite to the pallet."

"I do prefers sweets myself..." Gouverneur said. "But, if the freshest fruit wants to bite my pallet who am I to complain?"

"Incorrigible," Jay's eyes rolled. "I fear for your future wife."

“We all do," Alex heard his own voice tumbling out before he could stop it. "But, he's so far from marrying, I'm sure his future wife hasn’t even been born yet.”

No one laughed.

The joke sunk in slowly and they all just stared.

There was a line somewhere back there and Alexander would very much like to be back on the other side of it.

Gouverneur's lips had parted, uncharacteristically speechless.

Sally's brow had pinched in a mix of confusion and concern. Alex could see the moment his cruel meaning struck her because her face flushed.

Sarah Drake was shaking her head and her husband was struggling to press down a pinched smirk at Gouverneur's expense.

Jay was entirely unamused.

This wasn't Bill Livingston's parlor. If there was one thing that Alexander had learned from his days there, it was that humor was delicate in this echelon of society. Familiarity was fleeting and grace was a thin mask, easily shed. The Livingstons tolerated his rough-hewn edges because his wit could be good fun in private, but in front of their peers...

He didn't say another word. Turned and strode away as fast as his legs would carry him without running.

Mulligan was in his escape path, carefully holding two crystal wine glasses. His eyes widened, and he spun to fall into step beside him until they reached a secluded corner.

Then immediately, "What happened?"

"This is not my scene," Alex said, facing the wall. He pinched his temple, ran his thumb and finger sidelong over his eyes, then squeezed the bridge of his nose as if that might soothe the lingering urge to flee. "I can't play this part and I need to be recast. Immediately. Look- I thought I saw Marinus Willett here," a classmate that he had spotted, talking to the most unfortunately-shaped British officer that Alex had ever seen. "Give him my notes- he can talk to Sears. Make him your pen."

Mulligan's gaze was lost, confused and worried. "Did someone say something?"

"I did! I..." Alex shook his head. He sighed, took a breath, and reached for the wine glass perched in Mulligan's fingers then emptied it in one wide gulp. "I made an ass of myself. Unwittingly cruel to Gouverneur Morris. Deserved or not, it wasn't well done."

"I see..."

"This is not like drawing rooms and dinner talk," he said. "I could explain the Tea Party there. I can dominate the conversation if it pleases a room of friends, but this is something else altogether. These people are...you should have told me what to expect, I don't..." have anything to say.

For a long moment, Mulligan was quiet, just stared at him and then handed him the second glass and took away the first.

The alcohol helped, and it had to be the most flavorful wine Alexander had ever had. He looked at his glass.

The surprise must have shown on his face because, "Lamb's," Mulligan explained. "He provided the wine for tonight. Indisputable taste in vintage. That's why the import business has made him rich."

Alex finished the glass and handed it over.

He should slow down, shouldn't get drunk here, but Mulligan just gave him a sturdy smile. "Y'know, John Lamb's father was a thief- an indentured servant because of it, shipped with his wife to America for burglary just before John was born. Everyone knows it. He'll even talk about it if you ask."

Alex turned back to the parlor to search the crowd for the man in question. Tall, and broad yet he held himself gracefully as anyone else in the room, with round cheeks and a long smiling face. Another titan in human form.

"If this were England, there'd be no accounting for a man out of that background standing in this room, with these men, providing them with his wine. Any gentleman in this room could secure his wines and trade them- could do it easier with far more-ready access to any vintage they'd like to sample. Their tastes have been refined since they were children given their first sips of the grape. But, he's here, and do you know why?"

Alex was far too used to the tailor's roundabout ways of making his point to let himself be this intrigued by the journey.

"Because he can write." Mulligan reached down and fixed some invisible defect in the way Alexander's collar was laying. "His advertisements were poetry. His descriptions alone could make your mouth water more than a draft of the strongest rum. His words made him rich and his wealth made him powerful."

Turning to face the crowd as well, Mulligan put himself beside Alexander and pointed into another group of conversing gentlemen.

"Do you know who that is?"

He shouldn't. Recognizing faces in this room would imply that Alexander had been watching the streets for his social superiors. Gossiping. The whole point of being at King’s was to finish his education quickly and catch up with his peers. But, with a host like Hercules Mulligan, one couldn’t avoid certain stories and when one knew certain stories, one knew to look for certain faces. "Alexander McDougall."

"Mmn, indeed. The Wilkes of America.”

In this house, on the end of John Street, Alexander was standing in the shadow of Golden Hill. Here, just a few years ago, the Sons of Liberty had put up such a stand that certain names were embedded into the city's collective memory, Isaac Sears, John Lamb, Alexander McDougall. They had become symbols of bravery and resistance. More legends than men.

"To the Betrayed Inhabitants' was him," Mulligan said. "So, the force that pamphlet drew out, the energy and power that it stirred, that was his too. It's words, my boy. We all have them, but if you can get yourself the chance to use them wisely, they turn themselves into power."

Alex knew that well enough. Of course he knew- he'd had a taste of it already, just enough to get him into this party, but, "My words are the problem tonight," he said. "When they come from my hands, I can control them...my mouth is another story."

That earned a sympathetic laugh, "No, I suppose that's true. Oratory is quite a different beast from writing, and we both know where your talents lie. The voice is the rudest publisher- no retractions, no edits..."

"I can just write my piece for Cooper and submit a separate one to publish," Alex said.

"You can, and you certainly will, but not without a pseudonym unless you want to lose your course at Kings," Mulligan pointed out. "The point of bringing you here was precisely this. Showing these men the origin of your thoughts so that, when they make it to print- they have no doubts who wrote them."

"I can't speak those thoughts to them if I can't get into a conversation without putting my foot in my mouth."

"Which is why we are going back." Before Alex could protest, Mulligan had a hand on his shoulder, gently steering him back into the crowd towards where Morris and Sears were now talking. "Maybe you can't take back whatever you said, but...you can always amend it. Give it more fabric until it forms a desirable shape..."

Apologize or lie. That was all he was saying, but as they came back to Gouverneur, Sears and his wife, Alexander searched for Sally as they walked- the one person he truly should apologize to. But, she and Jay had moved on to a new circle.

Still. He knew what fabric to sew and how to let it lay, an admission, a concession, sacrifice, apologies and lies. He came to a stop in front of Gouverneur, and as soon as he had his attention, said- "I'm sorry I was rude to you and vulgar." Then he looked at Isaac and Sarah. "You are my host and I was offensive in your home against my own friend. I stepped away from it because I did not know what to say to make that right."

"It's alright, Alex-"

Before Gouverneur could stop him, Alex held up a hand to let him finish.

The young lawyer stepped back and folded his hands.

"It's not alright. I need to confess, the topic of marriage has vexed me since Sally debuted. You are aware of how her family welcomed me when I came from St Croix. Without intrinsic connections, I was their boarder, but more than that, when I had none of my own, they were my family. So, Mister Morris, you must understand, the duty that you were able to fulfill to Sally as a gentleman is one that I envy."

This was not a secret he ever expected to trade, but this performance was working. His small audience was hooked, waiting to be reeled in with the story and feeling. Sarah in particular was studying him with a certain consideration that had him convinced he was transparent to her. Yet still, she was watching.

So, he laid it on thick, "I have no sisters of my own, but I once did."

They were words Alexander hadn't spoken aloud in half a decade. Yet here he was, offering up this piece of himself for the good graces of powerful strangers. It felt worse than groveling.

"She would be a few years younger than Sally now, and I just think...if she were alive, she would be eligible next year. With me as her brother, so distant and untethered in this place, her prospects would be dismal. Girls are held so helpless in this world, and when Kitty asked you to look out for Sally...I resented being helpless too."

Gouverneur obviously didn't know what to say.

So, "I know this doesn't excuse my rudeness. I just thought, if you knew it was envy, you might more easily forgive-"

"Water under the bridge." Gouverneur pulled Alex under his arm and squeezed him by the shoulders tightly, dragging him into the fold.

Alex got a final glimpse of Mulligan's smirk as he slipped off to talk to Willett and the vulture-like officer he was engrossed with.

The conversation became a whirlwind from there.

Gouveneur and Issac were already speaking of politics. They were unrestrained in his company. With the rest of their guests at a safe distance to speak candidly, it took nearly no effort for Alex to learn why it had been so important to recruit a reporter who had seen the state of Boston Harbor.

The Sons of Liberty had been awaiting a similar shipment of tea from the East India Trading Company in New York Harbor for months. Their shipment had, unfortunately, been delayed in arrival, allowing the Bostonian Sons to act first and take center stage, but Sears and McDougall were feverishly planning their own performance.

With time to prepare their case before taking action, they were looking, not just for writers, but for agents on the ground, capable of spreading information through other means besides print and collecting information from corners of the city which would become increasingly inaccessible to them- Anglican corners.

Arguments would have counterarguments, and counterarguments needed prepared defenses.

The servants had finished setting the tables for dinner, and their hosts excused themselves to oversee their meal's arrangement before the procession into the dining room.

It was a show of grandeur, the lords and ladies marching in to their places at the feast. Music and talking and tasting exotic dishes. Knowing how much control the people at this table held over the rabble outside the doors, how much of their scheming was done in quiet conversations and casual dealings, Alexander tried to hear as much as possible while seeming as unassuming as he could. With Mulligan at his side, bragging about fitting the governor for a new suit, asking about a visiting theater troupe's upcoming playbill, joking about the latest cases at the chancellory court, it was easy to fit in.

As a student in one of the most Anglican universities in America, Alexander was understanding the role Mulligan saw for him, but his time in Sears' eyes had been so short, he felt keenly insecure about it.

Throughout the meal, he smiled and strained, not knowing for sure if his place here was an ephemeral illusion. If he would return to his small room above Mulligan's foyer, shed these fancy clothes, return to his books, and be forgotten to everyone he'd met tonight.

He knew he couldn't impress them when the dancing began. But, there was one sure way to know if he had made an impression on Sears...

After the last course was served, parties began rising from their tables and milling about, resuming previous conversations and drawing one another away from the dinning room to go visit the great hall where strings were beginning to play.

As her guests departed, the lady of the house lingered behind to continue directing the servants. Sarah Drake was a thin brunette with a round face and laughter lines framing her eyes.

Alex lingered long enough for her to notice him before he approached. He'd kissed her hand when he was first introduced, but he did it again now. “I was told I shouldn’t call your husband King tonight, but am I allowed to call you Queen?”

She laughed, a delicate, melodic sound, and leaned in to confide, “I'm sure you know there's little love for monarchs here, but if this were a game of chess, I rightfully would be one.”

Alex smiled because she was indulging him and it was delightful. “I agree. I assumed he had you making his most important moves. The wives so often are."

She gave a small laugh, dodging his eyes, but it was confirmed, if not outright. “There are advantages to your sex’s tendency to underestimate mine," she said. "The Queen can always travel further in directions where the King is limited."

"Quite true, and her placement commands the other pieces just as much as his," Alex agreed. Perhaps her husband would not tell him what role he could play, but, "She determines the strength of their defenses, and the best angles for attack. Since she moves in every way, and guards just by her proximity, when you have her protection, you're free to move at will. There is something to be said for a woman's leadership in war."

That finally earned her gaze, locked onto his. "That's a word that will set people on edge if you're not careful."

"I don't think I need to be careful with you...I feel quite protected."

She held his eyes steadily for another moment before breaking away to direct a slave that was carrying a bowl of pastries towards the kitchen to take it out to the great hall instead.

Alexander waited, clasped his hands behind his back.

She returned to him, leaning lower and dropping her voice. "There's an excellent little bakery on Cherry Street. I recommend you purchase their brioche tressée on Wednesday. If you find yourself with inquiries about it... Miss Lottie knows the recipe."

Alex nodded firmly, sealing the deal more resolutely than any handshake between businessmen.

#This needed to be out there for the plot points #ficlet #historical hamilton #Charles Lee jumpscare #part 2 of 2

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sharp-teeth-and-archived · 2 years ago

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( ooc ): I feel like if James Rivington in t.urn ever met Lydia, he would immediately compliment her on her attire. (I headcanon that basically everything Lydia wears is handmade on her own, since she was a seamstress before the war. She likes to take inspiration from other clothes, but modify them). When he learns that she was a seamstress at one point, he probably jokingly asks her to be his seamstress and make him a few new items. (Rivington takes his fashion very seriously, okay). Low-key though, she would probably take him up on that and make a few pieces for him because he runs a very popular Gazette and he interacts with a ton of high ranking officers. So 👀 intelligence potential.

#( ooc )#( okay I headcanon that Rivington is the best gossiper in t.urn )#( he knows all the details and if you want something to be known and passed around )#( Rivington's your guy )#( wishlist )#( tho not really just random thoughts )#( this probably wouldn't be for her redcoat verse but I can see where she might have some free time in that verse and jump onto this idea )#( 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒌 𝒊𝒔 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒏 ; headcanon (( lydia ))

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cabbxges-and-kings · 1 year ago

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( ooc ): I need James Rivington as a npc in one of my threads or I will riot

#( ooc )#( he's so underrated )#( and so entertaining lmao )

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askteg · 3 months ago

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Characters up for asks:

Drivers:

Thomas Boyes

Edward Pettigrew

Henry Wenn

Gordon Gresley

James Chipps

Percy Bagley

Scott 'Scotsman' Gresley

Hiro Kawasaki

Firemen:

Gene Marlowe

William Fletcher

Craig Baxter

Adam Craig

Gladys Lees

Frank Hallewell

Barry Allen

Betty Fairfax

Cuthbert Rivington

Miscellaneous:

Joyce Gresley

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culpeppercheckers721 · 7 months ago

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I apologize for this one

#… Whoops 🤡#turn memes #turn amc #turn washington's spies #amc turn #turnamc #amcturn #James Rivington #I know what you are 🤡

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slutt4ellie · 5 months ago

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Outlawed Romance

masterslist

Breaking the rules seemed all too easy with her..

Summary -> It’s 1868 and you’ve ran in with one of your childhood best friends, while rekindling your friendship it starts to become clear that’s not all the two of you are.

Warnings -> ONE SHOT. / Sheriff!Ellie / Forbidden love troupe bc it’s sooo good 😞 / Reader has a husband / Western lingooo / Alcohol usage / Blood / Description of injuries / Kissing / Cheating / Both Reader and Ellie haven’t done anything with girls (trying to be realistic!! not tryna baby them or smth.) / Homophobia / Mentions of death / Angst / Fingering (E and R!receiving) / Mentions of forcing (swear it’s nothing serious!) / (Lmk if I missed anything else!)

WC: 10k

(Semi proofread!!)

Thinking back to before. Everything seemed so normal.

- -

1868

The sun was crashing on your forehead as you sat outside the general store waiting for those doors to finally open, hearing horses hoofs hitting the hot dried dirt was starting to get repetitive and in all honesty, annoying.

The day was already to long, you were out early in the morning, set to buy some items for your house which was lacking some fresh new food.

Your eyes quickly caught sights of a green pair, immediately understanding those could only belong to one woman’s.

Ellie’s eyes.

“How ya doin’?” She chimes sat promptly on her horse. One hand holding tightly onto the saddles horn, subconsciously making sure her grip is enough to hold her.

“I’m okay- just waiting out here for Mr. Rivington to open the doors” You smile back at her, referring to the store owner. Oliver Rivington.

Yours and Ellie’s friendship was nothing from new.

You both grew up in the same area, both of your fathers being screwed at the hip allowing yours and Ellie’s friendship to sprout.

It wasn’t till your father got sick where Ellie’s dad pulled back a little, you’d like to think it was nothing out of resentment. Some people grow apart that’s all.

And unfortunately that’s what also happened with you and Ellie. Because even though you’re both on good terms and every time the both of you see each other it rarely goes without interacting, you truly weren’t as close as before.

And you don’t spite her for that. Because if anything you pulled back a bit more as you both grew up.

It really just happened since you were no longer forced in close proximity with her. You and Ellie weren’t similar.

“Ah- I see then.” She nods before picking back up her words. “Surely waiting out here can’t be to fun? Would you care to join me for a drink in the saloon” She ask, despite the length you are apart you notice how her teeth tugs in her bottom lip, something she does when she’s nervous.

“As much fun as that seems, quite busy today? James has me out running errands.” You sigh out, dragging you hand to swipe across your sweaty forehead.

James was your husband, it wasn’t your choice but he wasn’t the worst man. At least compared to the others you’ve seen that is. Either way, say you had a choice being with him would not be on your list.

You can tell he’s also not to fond of the marriage, you assume he sees you as a weight. Shackles which are tied to his ankle. He used to get around, at least that’s what people around town talk about. Either way you disregard it.

Not like you can pull back, leaving him and moving far away wasn’t in the playbook.

She only nods in response, getting out a few words in the process. “Drink can’t hurt?” She smiles.

You probably shouldn’t, you have a long day and the last thing you need is James yelling at you because you “Took to long” which would be nothing from new.

He wasn’t always the happiest person in the world to say the least.

But as Ellie looks at you, you start to cave. One drink truly can’t hurt. Catching up with your childhood best friend, it sounded enticing.

“You tryin’ to get me is trouble Miss Williams?” You smile and stand up. Tilting your head as if you’re questioning her. Knowing your decision has already been made.

“Never Ma’am? Just simply puttin’ out a suggestion.” She smiles right back at you, tilting her head in the direction the saloon, only being a tiny walk over.

“Then i’m sold I suppose.” You smile. Feet moving on their own to start to walk in the direction.

Getting there took less then a minute, the longer process being as Ellie hops off her horse to tie it outside, making eye contact with you once again.

Ellie pushes past the doors finding a spot pushed up against the bar. You follow after her sitting down watching as she gets you both a drink.

“So…” She pushes your drink in your direction before bringing her own to her lips, dosing a quick swig “Tell me about yourself, seeing as we haven’t had a proper conversation in awhile.” She ask.

You can only shrug in response. “I wanna say nothin’ you don’t already know. I’m sure not as interesting as you law stories.” You chuckle bringing your drink to your lips.

“Please-“ She shakes her head, waving her hand dismissively. “Im sure your stories are just as interesting.”

You smile and shrug “Made lemonade this morning?” You chuckle. “Living up to your expectations?” You ask joking around with her.

“I’m intrigued!” Ellie jokes hand cuffing her drink once again as she brings it up to her lips, green eyes not leaving yours in the process.

“What about you miss sheriff?” You ask your smile not fading.

“I might just quit if that stays my nickname.” Ellie chuckles looking at you. “And just like you, nothin’ you don’t hear about.”

“Husband?” You ask.

“No.” She quickly responds, having her eyes trail down, you see Ellie build up a guard, it happens quickly but definitely isn’t ignored from you.

Yet before you could mention it she’s already talking.

“James, how’s he?” She questions.

Ellie is aware of your marriage, not like you’d have to hide it, or really like you could hide it? If you’re honest she had to be one of the first to hear about it. You were still young when you were married and yours and Ellie’s friendship hadn’t hit the point where you rarely talked.

Ellie was actually one of the first to know. And when you told her she wasn’t secretive about the dislike to him. Saying that he’s a pig. Telling you about the different stories she’s heard from girls around town.

She tried to convince you to deny it, tell your dad to find some different guy that would be sure to waltz in. Knowing you got a lot of attention from then men around town.

But even if you wanted to, your dad wanted a man to be able to care for you when he’d reach those doors, the ones which were death.

And unfortunately, after falling ill, he was just about there.

So the decision wasn’t changing. Not when James and his family had money which would guarantee that your life would be set.

Especially when his health was drastically getting worse.

“He’s okay, tomorrow he’s headed off for the mountains.” You nod.

Ellie looks at you and nods. “Oh yeah? And why’s that?” She questions taking the last sips of her drinks, waiting for your response in the process.

“To sleep outside apparently- that’s what i’ve got from him.” You say. Trying to ignore the clear dissatisfaction in the fact he doesn’t share much with you.

“Families well off. No?” She questions, eyes continuing to look at you. Ellie assumed there hunting for money, having big animals like bear and moose being up around those parts.

“Think it’s some manly bonding thing with his father. Not for the money.” You joke looking at her.

“Oh, as always.” Ellie smiles right back you.

Soon your eyes trail to the bottom of the glass, seeing that it’s now empty causes you to frown. The conversation was nice but you were behind due to this little side quest with Ellie. And you had to be soon returning back home to make some food for James.

So you bid Ellie a smile and sigh out. “Well I should be goin’…early mornin’ and I feel i’ll be having a late night.” You nod towards Ellie, thankful for the drink she ending up buying for you.

“Shame- we should do it again, maybe can swing by your place tomorrow?..” She looks at you. It’s random to say the least.

You and Ellie have gone a few years with just little back and forths, and not that they were bad, detouring you from meeting up with her. It’s just you and Ellie are now grown, no longer living in your kid fantasy. So her wanting to meet up was random.

“It’s a hassle, the house is off trail. The last thing i’d want you to be doing is riding at night.” You say. Hoping maybe Ellie will get the little memo.

“It’s fine. Swear by it.” Ellie doesn’t get it.

So you comply.

“Okay- maybe after the sun falls below the horizon, James will be gone by-“ You start, not before Ellie’s voice laps yours.

“After sun goes down- okay!” She smiles.

You weren’t sure if she was going to show, the sun was far below the horizon at this point.

James had left early in the morning, not waiting for you to get up to give you a proper goodbye. But then again.

Waking up without his dent in the mattress wasn’t horrible.

So now you feel like you’re a sitting duck. Waiting to see if the auburn hair girl really does show. Which was starting to seem like it wasn’t going to happen.

It had to be an hour past sun down, and now as you wait you’re starting to feel extremely fucking stupid. Your legs moved themselves standing up to get out of the chair you’ve unfortunately got comfortable in.

The chair had your tiredness slowly start to creep on the sidelines, your eyes growing heavy. So you feel like biting the bullet will be a bit easier. You’re a few seconds from sliding down your dress when you hear a pair of knocks.

You knew it was Ellie, there’s never people who go off trail to meet your little home. So you just sigh out. “Ellie best you get goin’, I’m headin’ to sleep any minute now” You close your eyes while still standing, hoping you hear the sound of her horse galloping away, a sign she’s gone.

But no.

“Can I come in?” She sighs. “Please?..” It’s followed by a long silence, Ellie on the grasp of giving up, but then she hears your door open and both of your eyes meeting.

You weren’t excepting the sight of Ellie. I mean you didn’t have something in mind, but to see her face having dried blood and her eye a dark purple.

That wasn’t even in the picture?

“The fuck- what happened?” You say helping her inside your home.

“Law stories” She smiles, calling back to the conversation inside the saloon. Yet you weren’t laughing because you were actually fucking worried.

You find yourself grabbing a rag and going to get water out of the bucket planted inside the kitchen. “Don’t joke.” You look at her rubbing the rag down Ellie’s face.

“Yes Ma’am” Ellie jokes closing her eyes as the cloth drags along her face. “Just a couple of men came down to Mr. Rivingtons store, waving there guns like a couple of fools.” She sighs out.

“And you did what, run head first into them?” You joke rubbing the cloth lightly against her bruised eye.

“No-“ Ellie chuckles opening her eyes. “But they were dealt with, so nothin’ to worry about” Ellie shakes her head.

After a long silence, you mainly trying to figure out what “Dealt with” meant Ellie finally speaks once again.

“My face clean?” She looks at you.

Ellie’s face had to be clean a solid minute ago, it just happened to…blank on you.!

You quickly nod backing up and going into the kitchen. The fresh water now turning dirty due to Ellie’s beaten up arrival.

Dreading for the morning where you’ll have to run over to the well to collect fresh water.

Ellie talks from the living room. “You’ve never invited me to your place y’know?” Ellie says, the tone has something hidden, maybe a tinge of sadness. You’re not fully able to read it..

“You never asked?” You reply sheepishly from the kitchen cleaning off your hands, making sure there’s now no more grime.

“Once you got that husband of yours- we never hanged out much. You know if i’m being honest.” Ellie says clearing her throat.

And now the tone is easily recognizable as jealously, yet you couldn’t pin why she was feeling jealously.

Maybe it was the fact she didn’t have a husband yet.

But Ellie was pretty, so understanding why she didn’t. You never understood it, she was capable, she just fucking didn’t.

“No one ever stopped you from coming down here Ellie.” You say turning your head to look at her from the kitchen. “You’re always welcomed, you know that.” You say.

“Fair.” Ellie says and looks at you from the kitchen.

There’s so much undoubtable tension now. She doesn’t seem like the Ellie you remember, which wasn’t shocking. You’re both old now. But the way she’s talking about you and your husband almost seems condescending.

Ellie senses she should’ve thought about her word choice a bit more. Making the quick decision to nervously stand up and starts making her way towards you. “Sorry-“ She starts.

You just shake you head and smile. “Don’t apologize- sure you meant no harm from it.” You clear your throat spitting out your next sentence to clear the awkwardness. “Do you want a drink or-“ You ask your eyes shifting to your hands.

Ellie smiles and nods. “Please- thank you” She says, eyes watching as you pour her a glass of what seems like whiskey.

You hand her the drink watching as Ellie takes it, she takes a quick swig. “You alright there?” Ellie questions looking at you.

“Oh yeah” You shake you head before looking down. You move your body once more, grabbing a glass pouring yourself a drink.

“Sorry my patchin’ up skills aren’t the best” You chuckle easing the previous awkwardness, then turning your head to get a good look at Ellie’s cuts.

“Better then what I would’ve done.” Ellie smiles and shakes her head, emphasizing your job was more then okay. “I would’ve just let them sit.” Ellie smiles.

“What- Ellie you can’t just let cuts sit? You could get sick.” And it was true. There’s been many infections from open wounds. Despite them being small. And the worry Ellie might have that fate did worry you.

She nods. “I’ll just swing by over here every time I need assistance” She chuckles looking at you.

“Doctors are sure to be better then me.” You chuckle.

Ellie shrugs and just looks at you. “Your company will make up for it.” Ellie sighs out. Eyes still Inattentively watching you.

You smile and look at her. “What are you thinkin’ about?” You question, her eyes nervously peeling to the wall behind you.

“Nothin’, honest!” But Ellie definitely wasn’t being honest with you, not even one fucking bit.

Ellie couldn’t remember a time she wasn’t fond of you, since she was a kid you caught her attention. It was pathetic in all honesty, it should’ve ended when you got married. But it just didn’t..

It was making it impossible for her to get out of this loop.

Ellie knew it was gross and messed up. She should have had eyes for the multiple men rested in Redwater. (The town you and her grew up in)

But none of them hit the boxes you did.

it’s like she couldn’t help falling in love.

If Ellie could call it that, if anything she may have been a slight bit infatuated, knowing those feelings were not reciprocated, and never will be..

But it didn’t matter when you two would talk.

Because in love, or infatuated. Talking to you was worth it.

When you two slowly fell apart Ellie found herself a little lost. Not sure if trying to save the friendship would work, or maybe it would just have her come off too strong or pushy. So she didn’t try.

She watched, of more so heard you got married. Refusing to show up to the wedding. Telling everyone else she caught a bug. Because she couldn’t be honest that she felt physically repulsed by the idea of you with James.

And selfishly she did wish it was her. Knowing that she would 100% treat you better than that asshole.

James was scrum of the earth. She knew that.

He would talk about you as if you were a prop for his life.

She would hear him constantly in the saloon late at night, as she was drowning her feelings, an unhealthy but easy coping strategy. He would talk about stuff she wouldn’t repeat. Often painting you as some disgusting figure, Ellie knew it was all a lie.

He was disgusting, he knew no one would say shit to you, and he was right.

Because even Ellie said nothing, And it’s not like she could. Say she did it’s not like you could leave him. That wasn’t in the playing cards for woman.

“I should be goin’ bit dark out?” Ellie sighs out looking at you hesitantly. Hoping that you can’t read eyes.

You shrug. “You’re welcome to stay over?” You offer. “Better then riding back into town?”

Ellie immediately smiles and nods. “Yes!” She then clears her throat, realizing that ‘yes’ seemed a little desperate. She quickly rearranges her words.. “I mean as long as i’m not intruding’ your space” She says.

You then chuckle in result of Ellie’s fast and eager yes, it reminded you of when you were little girls. Your father always said how energetic she was. Never bein’ able to sit her down.

“Wouldn’t have offered if I believed you were intrudin’?” You say while looking at her bringing your glass back up to your lips.

“Don’t want to be sendin’ a bruised up girl home anyway..!” You chuckle watching as a laugh falls between Ellie’s lips.

And the environment ending up changing once your eyes met Ellie’s lips. Because suddenly it felt like a lot of tension sprouted which was overall weird.

And you can’t even understand why was tension being created with you and Ellie. All you were doing is watching her laugh, no weird intent was behind the closed doors. Yet you’re not sure if Ellie got that message because you watched as her eyes were dancing between your lips and eyes.

Maybe it was innocently, but it was weird.

So you quickly turn your head a bit sideways to the living room. “Would you like to sit?” You ask looking at Ellie.

Ellie was quick to snap out of that “sappy” moment. If you could call it that, it was hardly a moment. Either way it had her attention fully dwell on it, she couldn’t help but wonder if that was her open. A chance to kiss you, and maybe she just missed it?

Maybe you wanted her to kiss you..?

And Ellie wasn’t thinking.

Like always.

But she didn’t want that to be the last chance she ever gets, so with that she leans forward pressing her lips to yours.

And when that happens your mind didn’t skip the chance to go shell shock? Because why the fuck was Ellie Williams, the girl you’ve known almost your whole life, someone who can easily still be considered your best friend kissing you!

What was even happening??

You quickly pull your face back, watching as her eyes shoot open, colour draining from her face, having her turn pale and sick looking.

She knows she made a fucking mistake. What if you told the law about what she’s done, she’d be lucky to live after that moment. So she quickly stutters out a sentence.

“F-fuck i’m so-so sorry?” Ellie says running her hands through her hair and stepping further away from you, she doesn’t even know why she did it- you have a husband, Ellie fuking knew that??

She didn’t understand why she couldn’t just get that through her thick skul-

Her thoughts blanked.

And she didn’t even process why.

Her mind just stopped.

Obviously not processing the lips which are now planted right back on hers.

Ellie’s lips were far softer then James, while his were chapped, hers were soft. She was gentle moving her hands along you face with care. While on the other hand he was a bit more rough.

She was also warm, something you picked up fast as her a hands rested on your cheeks reciprocating the kiss.

Ellie’s lips leave yours, kissing your cheek and down to your jaw and neck, her tongue poking out in the process.

“We shouldn’t be doing this..” You say hands in her hair. Ellie only replies with a quick. “Do you want me to stop sweetheart.” And she does mean it when she says it.

All she needs is a simple yes and she’ll pull back in an instant, but a part of her wishes you’ll response with be a solid “No”.

And that it was, because as she said it you were quick to shake you head giving her a short “No-no keep going.”

Ellie nods and continues to kiss your neck, hands on your waist as you both move to your bedroom.

Once you get to your bed you’re laid down, Ellie lips once again finding yours as she stays on top. Her hands trail down your dress, her fingertips just reaching the bottom hem of it before you speak up.

“Can we..just kiss please.” You ask looking up at her.

“Course darlin’..” Ellie says as she nods fast and leans in moving her hand up to cuff your cheek, as she once again as she kisses you. She was honestly a bit relieved you stopped her. Ellie didn’t know what the fuck she was doing, and she really didn’t want to disappoint you in any way. So your interpretation saved her in a way.

You lean your head a bit more up breaking the kiss to connect with Ellie’s neck, you heard her breath in your ear. It was a bit irregular and fast leading you to understand that she’s definitely just as nervous as you. It gave you closure knowing you weren’t the only one freaking the fuck out.

Your lips continued to trail all over her neck, hearing short noises of approval. Your hand went to the back of her neck to rub it slowly and softly, trying to ease her nerves as you work on your own.

Ellie pulls her head up a bit so your lips disconnect with her neck, she’s eager to feel your lips back on hers. So once she makes that gap she moves down to kiss you once again.

“You’re so pretty..” She sighs into your mouth once your lips meet once again, she’s quick to intertwine your hands with yours. “It drives me crazy” She says softly.

You and Ellie stopped kissing after what felt like forever, it was getting late and both of you were in need for a good rest.

Her hands wrapped around your laying down figure, head finding it’s way in the crook of you neck. That being one of the final things you remember before you drifted into a deep sleep.

You couldn’t remember if you’ve ever felt warmth in your bed like you had with Ellie.

You had James for awhile now, but every time you woke up with him it was never warm. He would never stick by your side even in sleep, not that it bothered you. Say he did you probably wouldn’t have liked it.

So it was so weird how with Ellie you didn’t question or interject it.

You let everything happen on your own accord.

She was still well rested arm draped over your stomach as her lips found a spot on your neck.

It was weird, being so intimate with Ellie. A girl.

You knew it was wrong, but it was Ellie. She wasn’t just somebody you could throw to the side and act like it never happened. That just wasn’t realistic.

But you didn’t know what to do, because this most likely couldn’t continue. It made you feel as if you were gross. Sneaking around with a girl, knowing how that’s perceived and looked at.

You’ve heard how some have died from that, even deemed witchery from some. And really, you weren’t sure you were ready to be on that list..?

Ellie’s eyes slowly opened watching as yours were planted on the ceiling, she saw the look in your eyes, she could tell you were thinking. It almost made her nervous. Wondering if you were thinking of no longer being friends or something. Ellie couldn’t take that.

“Hey.” Ellie says, your eyes turn to the sound of her voice, far more raspy in the morning.

“Hi.” You look back at her.

It’s never this awkward with Ellie, most of the times you can’t get her to stop talking. But not today apparently, because she was silent. Not really sure what to say?

Ellie sits up on your bed, looking around your bedroom. She sees the many shrines which represent your husband. Little stuff filled with the hobbies he probably enjoyed. The only thing she could distinct for you was your clothing.

She hated it.

Neither of you wanted to mention how Ellie ended up in your bed, or even what transpired last night. Fearing that if you say it out loud it might just become all that more real.

You sit up too, turning your head to look at Ellie.

Finally she speaks. “Sleep okay?” She ask moving her hand up to bite her fingernails a nervous tick she’s had since she was a kid.

“Mhm.” You nod slowly. Not wanting to admit it maybe just be the best sleep you’ve had in years. You didn’t want to be that theatrical.

“Good.” Ellie nods and looks at you.

Ellie then looks around, she knows she can’t stay here any longer..not when the items of your husband feel like it’s staring her down.

Judging her..

“I should really head out.-“ Ellie says looking at you.

You only nod. Her leaving might be the best thing right now, you can’t take this awkwardness which is so fucking foreign for the both of you.

“Yeah- yeah that’s a good idea.” You say looking at Ellie as her figure stands up straightening out her wrinkled clothing.

“I’ll be seeing’ ya then.” Ellie says clearing her throat leaving your bedroom, the sound of the front door closing following no to long after.

And you want to punch yourself for being so naive?

You foolishly believed that things would quickly go back to normal. You and Ellie would have your small greetings, like every time but you quickly realized that wasn’t happening.

Ellie was avoiding you, that was no secret. It’s been a week since that moment that you two shared in your house and you haven’t even seen her. You heard around she left Redwater a few days ago.

Lawman said she’s chasing a couple folks for a bounty, but she’s “sure to be back any day now.” But that had to be at least 2 days ago, and again no sign of the green eyed girl you’re starting to long for.

James also still gone, somewhere in the mountains with his father. You hated how you missed Ellie more then the man you should love. It was messed up.

You were starting to get worried, what if Ellie had reported you, the lawmen showing up to your place to arrest you, throw you in jail for the rest of your life. Or worse, being punished by death.

It had you living in an endless loop of anxiety, you felt like people were looking at you, like they knew what went down in your house that night. Weather or not it was impossible for them to know.

“You’re lookin’ pale” A soft voice comes from beside you. You’ve been sitting at the saloon all morning, drowning your worries in booze. And really, it was working.

The voice could only belong to Dina.

You eyes met her soft brown doe eyes and you give her a lazy smile. She didn’t know what happened, and as nice as she is you’d never tell her. It puts you and Ellie both at risk.

“Why don’t we get you some water?” Dina questions.

“N-no it’s okay, to far?” You look back at her, you watch as her eyes trail your face, silently trying to understand what’s going on with you.

“You missin’ James” She questions not waiting for a response before she continues. “Jesse and his father do this all the time, always doing their bonding stuff- but don’t worry about it, he’s probably thinkin’ about you.” She smiles and sits beside you on the stool resting her hand on your shoulder.

You couldn’t reply, worrying that you saying you miss James would easily be recognized as a lie, which it was.

“Have you seen Ellie?” You question looking at Dina, ignoring the whole conversation you both had. Or more one she had with herself.

Dina then shrugs “Heard she got back earlier last night.” She says.

“Do you know where she is.” You stand up a bit to fast for someone who’s been rested in the bar all day.

“She’s been sat at the train station all day” Dina nods and looks at you.

And now with your new found information you’re moving your feet straight to the train station, you’re fully ready to give Ellie a piece of your mind. Insult her for ignoring you, acting like just a week prior she wasn’t kissing you, telling you how pretty you were.

You felt like you hated her, but as soon as you saw her back rested on the train station walls, your words were forgotten. And you suddenly didn’t have the urge to insult her.

You decide to continue walking over hitting her shoulder a bit harder then you should have. Wanting Ellie to turn and see you. Reminding her of the girl she’s was sucking face with.

“What the fu-“ Ellie stops her words when she sees you, she seems like a child who’s been caught doing something they shouldn’t have been doing.

“Hi” Ellie looks at you.

“Why have you been ignoring me?” You ask arms resting in a crossed position.

“I haven’t.” Ellie shakes her head and looks down, hat now covering her eyes.

You lift her hat up taking it in your left hand. “You have- now don’t lie, you haven’t said anything since we kis-“

Your words are interrupted by Ellie shushing you, causing in your opinion more heads to turn. “Are you drunk?” She questions raising her eyes.

“No!” You shake your head fast.

Ellie’s lips turn into a smirk and she looks at you. “You definitely are.” She says eyes slowly shifting to your lips.

It’s times like this were she wishes loving you wasn’t a crime.

Either way she saw herself committing this crime in every lifetime, it would all be worth it if it meant feeling your lips against hers.

You were worth it.

“If you’re mad, I’d prefer you tell me?” You say slurring over a few words, either way knowing she’ll get the point.

“I’m not mad?” Ellie says looking at you before clearing her throat. “I thought maybe you would’ve told people so I left for a few days.” Ellie says.

Ellie truthfully has been having the exact same amounts of anxiety as you, ever since she left your house her mind had been in spirals.

She knew deep down you wouldn’t say anything but the risk was still there, so she cleared from town for a few days. Making sure 100% no one knew anything.

Because she kissed you first, and if you told people that she knew the consequences which would occur. And that scared her.

So she ran, using the excuse that she had leads of some bounty target..

“Okay..” You look at her and nod, your eyes now looking at her lips.

You hated yourself for even looking at Ellie in a romantic sense, it was gross.

Ellie watches your eyes go to her lips, understanding that since your drunk your self control might be a bit worse than normal.

“Not here.” Ellie says slowly watching as you eyes shift up, slowly giving her a nod.

“Sorry” You say, Ellie only replying with a nod and a small. “S’okay.”

“After sundown- would you like to-“ Your sentence can’t finish, Ellie’s quickly nodding her head like an idiot, bidding a quick and short “Yes!”

“Okay-“ You smile moving your hand back up near her face, for a second she believes maybe you’re cuffing her cheek. But that was a short lived fantasy because all you were truly doing is putting her hat right back on.

You look around quickly, making sure no one was near or around. You think fast and you press a short kiss to Ellie’s lips. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

Ellie’s blushing like crazy, and she just nods. How does she react? You literally just kissed her AGAIN.

- -

Ellie was at your house as soon as she saw the sun go down. Not wasting any time to be late.

Her hand practically controlled itself when she knocked on your door. She was eager to see you again.

Ellie wasn’t sure what tonight was going to bring, but she knew whatever it was, it was finally going to ease the longing tension she’s had since she had met you. Finally breaking down those walls which scared the both of you.

You opened the door and Ellie immediately smiled. “H-hi.” Ellie smiles

You smile right back at her and open the door a bit more wide allowing Ellie to enter.

Ellie walks in before taking off her boots and looking at you. “You look nice” She looks you up and down taking in your appearance.

“You too..” You smile looking at Ellie taking notice at how her cheeks turn a light pink.

Ellie’s always been nervous around you, it’s just heavily intensified since you kissed. Now she feels like she’s walking on eggshells, hoping she doesn’t accidentally mess something up, or worse, self sabotage.

Ellie sits down on your couch watching as you grab two drinks from the kitchen, filled in a glass cup.

“Haven’t had enough there sweetheart?” Ellie jokes, calling back to your drunk self just a few hours ago.

“Har har” You roll your eyes handing Ellie her drink, finding a comfortable spot beside her as you did so.

Ellie looks at you as she takes a sip, despite her nervousness not breaking eye contact. Both of you are facing each other while sat on the couch. You being the first to speak. “Why didn’t you tell me about this secret little crush” You smile tilting your head.

“It was hardly a crush” Ellie rolls her eyes at your statement..

Yet it definitely was a crush that lasted years among years, but she’s not sharing that just yet.

“Can I at least get a timeline or something?” You smile looking at her. You’re not sure when Ellie’s feelings developed, your assuming not over a long period of time. Your guess is maybe a little after you got married.

“No.” Ellie chuckles, trying to play off she’s not scared of telling you that she’s had this “little crush” for multiple years. Fuck since you two were children.

“So you’re plannin’ on hiding it then?” You ask hand creeping to her knee. Sliding you fingers lightly on it.

“Mhm! Seems like i’d be savin’ myself the embarrassment” Ellie tilts her head before leaning in a bit.

“I wish you told me earlier.” You say looking at her. And even though you said those words you wonder how different everything would be if Ellie told you earlier. If your reaction would have been different. If you would even let it get as far as kissing.

And Ellie thinks the same, she just says it. “I don’t think it would’ve changed much-“ She sighs out, eyes peeling from yours.

Your shoulders slouch slightly but you quickly rise them. Moving your hand to cuff Ellie’s cheek so she looks at you again. “Maybe- maybe not.” You sigh out, your body moving itself to lean in and kiss her.

Ellie’s hands move to your face, and even though she knows it’s wrong, knows the consequences and how this can affect the both of you she doesn’t pull back, she just leans further into it. Scared that if she pulls back she’ll lose you.

Both you and Ellie are leaning back on the couch Ellie on top of you while her lips are hastily trying to keep pace with yours.

You both seem in a starved state. Scared of what these actions might follow, yet both refusing to stop them. Kissing harder and more passionately each time.

Ellie’s lips go down your neck and she’s dragging her tongue down as she does. Even though she hasn’t done this, hasn’t even been close to doing this your little moans of approval is enough for her.

And she’s almost sure she hasn’t heard something so sweet, it just makes it more concrete that whatever this is, it’s not stopping anytime soon.

Ellie’s hand is finding it’s way to your chest, squeezing one of your boobs lightly. The moan that left your mouth meant whatever she was doing was good.

You’re smiling through the kiss making Ellie smile too. “What..?” She rasp out pulling back from the kiss.

“I didn’t say anythin’ did I?” You question, lips finding hers once again.

The moment the two of you are having is only getting more intense as your hand starts trailing to her pants. Ellie quickly pulls back, out of pure nervousness. It might have been because she’s never done this, or because it’s with you but she’s freaking out. “I- I just haven’t done this- and I don’t want to fuckin’ like disappoint you.” Ellie sighs out.

You look up at her nodding slowing, it’s not like you’ve done this stuff either. With a girl that is, and you’re really just as nervous as she is. Maybe you’re just better at hiding it. “We can figure it out- if you’d like too..” You say.

Ellie nods and leans her lips back to yours, feeling as your fingers starting moving to undo the button.

Ellie starts to lean back off of you finding herself on the other side of the couch. Watching you as you slowly go over her now finding yourself on top.

You kiss Ellie again before peeling back to move you hand down, getting a good look before you fingers reach her the waistline of her underwear.

You know that if you cross this point there’s truly no returning. You’ve set yourself up for this kind of life and that has you worried. If in the long run it would be worth it, seeing as your father got this “perfect life”. You almost feel like doing this would make him disappointed in you.

With a husband, enough money to live comfortably, all the shit you could ever need. And now you’re throwing it away.

But for Ellie, to be with Ellie.

That seems to easy.

Like the decision was made before you could deny it. So you hands reach inside her underwear letting contact with her extremely wet folds.

“Fuck-“ Ellie says closing her eyes and buckling her hips forward craving the new found feeling of your touch. “It feel okay..?” You ask fingers still moving in circle motions as you put more pressure on her clit.

Ellie just moans and nods, not being able to get out sentences anymore. She’s almost sure they wouldn’t be coherent anyway.

Your fingers continue to move, collecting her wetness. Ellie’s moans were only increasing and you weren’t sure how long she’d be. But she was 100% reaching the boiling point that threatened to overflow.

You slowly slide in one of your fingers with straight ease due to how wet she was. Ellie’s hips rolling practically begging for more, despite her lack of words. “Right there..” Ellie moans her eyes still screwed shut.

Your lips plant back on Ellie as your fingers continue to work on her lower region. Ellie moaning as you do so.

“I’m gonna..” Ellie’s words trail off as her eyes continue to stay shut. “Eyes on me- open your eyes.” You say holding her cheek lightly. “I want to watch you.” You say slowly, wondering if your words were far to much. Which seemed stupid because one of your fingers were literally inside Ellie.

Ellie’s eyes open and she’s looking back and forth between your eyes. Her breaths are getting more irregular and she’s starting to feel herself being pushed over the edge.

You watch Ellie’s eyes roll, eyelids fluttering shut. Her back arches running off the little high she has left once you pull out your fingers. Ellie immediately smashes her lips back onto yours. Not giving you a chance to pull back.

Her hands are tugging up your dress before moving your underwear to the side as her fingers reach your folds. She’s obviously not trying to waste any time!

“Feel okay..?” Ellie ask looking at you for your reaction.

All you reply with is a short nod and a moan leaving your lips.

Ellie’s fingers are moving in slow taunting circles as her face stays in the crook of your neck, kissing all around your throat. Moving up to then reach your lips.

You feel Ellie’s fingers start to speed up, kissing you more passionately. Tongue lapping around yours, zero plans to stop.

Ellie hands leave your aching clit pushing in her fingers.

As soon as you feel Ellie move her finger inside you, your hips are rolling themselves, having Ellies fingers go deeper inside of you.

You’re continuing to moan louder holding onto Ellie’s face while you continue kissing her, you can feel yourself reaching that boiling over point. “Please look at me baby..” Ellie says between kissing you.

Your eyes open, looking up at Ellie as your lips break apart. Ellie’s eyes on you was all it took, her looking down you with pure lust fingers deep inside you. You’re body finally lets go, eyes fluttering shut as Ellie’s fingers ride you through your orgasm.

Ellie slowly pulls out her fingers looking at you, hoping what she did ending up feeling okay for you. “Was it okay..?” Ellie ask looking down at you.

You can’t even form coherent sentences so you just lean forward and kiss Ellie.

And that’s what it soon became with you and Ellie. The both of you would sneak around town, kissing behind buildings, inside your house on the rare occasion your wouldn’t husband be there, even sometimes in Ellie’s.

It was risky and both of you knew it. You both were playing a game where the odds weren’t in your favour. But neither of you could quit. It felt like a drug for the both of you..

Ellie’s lips on yours, it was something that wasn’t quite explainable, why it felt so good. Knowing it was wrong.

But you couldn’t help but wonder why it was wrong, you didn’t know if this was love. You’ve never actually been in love. You weren’t even sure if that was real.

But with Ellie, it felt different then any man you ever been with, like she blew everyone else out of the field park.

And it came all that more apparent when your husband came back. If he tried to kiss you, you found yourself pulling back, complaining of some faux sickness. Just so you wouldn’t have to touch his lips.

While you’d find yourself sneaking out late to be with the auburn hair girl. It was inevitable for a mess up. It was a silent thing you and Ellie both knew. There was no one you’d be able to do this with no one finding out.

You were deep in thought, sitting in town letting the sun fall down on you. Trying to ignore you the thoughts about Ellie. Realizing you probably have to end it..tell her you can’t do whatever this is anymore.

“Hey Ma’am?” Ellie says planted on her horse. Patting its neck lightly to ease him. “You alright?” Ellie questions looking at you. She sees that your eyebrows are furrowed and you blocked out everything else around so your definitely thinking. She’s seen these actions since you were both little, how you ignore everything else.

“Yeah, hey Ellie” You put on a fake smile, fast enough for Ellie to maybe not question it. But she recognizes it almost immediately. Looking at you before she hops off her horse tying it to the fence post.

“What’s wrong.” Ellie says looking at you, as her hand lightly touches yours, leaving you to move your hand back. Retracting from her touch. There were people around and Ellie’s a bit more careless than you. “Sorry.” Ellie sighs looking at you.

“It’s fine- just people.” You say looking at her, you don’t know if you were wrong for thinking it. But you truly wish she was a boy. If she was you wouldn’t have to question every time you both were physically intimate.

Life would be so much easier if girls could like each other..

She nods looking at you. Trying to think of how to talk to you in private. She sees how your eyes trail down, avoiding hers. But she couldn’t read you. “We can talk later. Just once James falls asleep behind the saloon.?” You ask looking at her.

Ellie nods. “Yeah. Okay.”

- -

Ellie was there way before you, if she had to guess maybe an hour. She was fucking panicking, she never saw you like that. It hurt her to say the least.

You couldn’t even look at Ellie, and honestly it filled her with insecurities, unsure as to why you’re suddenly pulling away from her. After she’s spent so long dreaming for the both of you to be close, in the way she wanted at least.

And now that it happened, even it’s it’s just for a bit. She doesn’t want to end that. But she sees how it’s now it’s crumbling. And she hates that-

“Hey.” Your voice cuts off her train of thought, watching as you come behind the the wall of the saloon. “Hi.” Ellie smiles looking at you before walking forward towards you.

“Are you okay, you seemed like something was on your mind?..” Ellie questions her hand reaching her her nails to her mouth out of nervousness. “Yeah- no, I mean. I just want to talk.” You sigh out looking down at the ground. Pulling down her hand, you knew that she would bite her nails during nervous occasions.

Ellie’s hand reaches your cheek, thumb moving back and forth.. “You can talk me” Ellie sighs out looking at you, despite you avoiding her gaze. “Ellie this is dangerous- us doing this is dangerous.” You finally look at her.

Ellie feels like she’s biting back tears as she sees your teary eyes once escaping and falling down your cheek. “So- we’re fine. We haven’t got caught” Ellie then shakes her head. “We won’t get caught?” Ellie says looking at you. Almost trying to convince herself.

“I-I don’t want you to get hurt because of me.” You say leaving Ellie to just sigh. It’s not like she can deny it, if you get caught. You’re both dead. You’d be lucky to live. People don’t often act to pleased when the sin of homosexuality is shed to the light.

Ellie leans in and kisses you, her hands finding the back of your neck.. “I wanna be with you- and if that’s what leads me to the end then so be it.” Ellie says in between the kiss.

“Ellie-“ You start.

“No- s’okay. Promise.” Ellie shakes her head kissing you. Holding you tight, as if she lets go she’ll lose you forever. “I wanna be with you..” Ellie says.

You and Ellie continue to kiss, lost in the feelings of holding each other. Your soft lips clashing. Then something which could have sounded so quiet came down in a big crash. There was sounds of a stick breaking behind the two of you, both of you pulling back from each other.

Both of the colour drains from your faces, looking around to see nothing. The dark is caving both of your figures and now you’re worried. “Ellie- Ellie what if someone saw” You say looking at her. Hands shaking slightly.

Ellie looks around and shakes her head, trying to convince you and herself that no one was truly there. Like it was an animal. “No- it was probably just a rabbit, they’re all around these parts.” Ellie says looking at you.

But Ellie was just as nervous as you. Wondering if this was it. If that was a person.

And you hadn’t know it yet, considering you and Ellie haven’t talked about what would happen say you two were found out, but Ellie’s already understood that she would immediately take the blame. Because Ellie realized your life was set for you, you had a husband who you were sure to have kids with eventually, while her life didn’t have much worth living for, as sad as it seems.

She didn’t have a husband, nor planned to ever get one, she didn’t have much friends, and in all fairness she assumed she’ll grow old in this town. So really, once she reached the end, being death of course, what would she had accomplished..?

Ellie knew a life without you wasn’t one she wanted to take part on, and the thought of you both getting caught was enough for her to make the decision. Even though it was on her own.

She thought about what she would say, something Ellie came up with was saying that she forced you, one that made you commit theses acts. The heinous crime which was loving her. If you even did.

It was easier this way, because it would save you.

Ellie looks at you. “It’s getting late” Ellie sighs turning her head to the ground, unsure of what tomorrow may bring.

You reply with a short nod. Realizing it’s time to say goodbye to her.

You were up bright and early, trying to get out of the house before James woke up. Not trying to deal with his instructions that he often assigned. Today you wanted to see Ellie, you had the plan to knock on her door.

But as soon as you walked into town the atmosphere was different. You knew it wasn’t in your head this time, because everyone was looking at you. Like you were some curse. And much to your despair you weren’t sure why.

But that was soon to to become evident and clear..

You see Dina and Jesse trail towards you hesitantly, their faces are reading something indescribable, like they can’t tell weather talking to you is safe. It was weird to say the least.

“How are you feeling..?” Dina spits out looking at you. Jesse talking right after her. “She’s gone now, lawmen have her in cells.” Jesse says tilting his head. “Don’t gotta worry about her.” He continues.

And now you’re confused, you don’t know a lot of girls, much less that committed a crime. And your mind only trails to one, Ellie fucking Williams.

“What do you mean? Who?” You spit out, now looking for the girl who’s often on her horse walking all around town. Patrolling to make sure everything is in order.

“Ellie?” Dina says, she’s looking at you with eyes that seem worried. “You heard what old man Walter said surely? It’s travelling all over.”

Old man Walter was the town drunk, it was nothing new. If there was no one in the saloon early in the morning or late at nights he was sure to be there, and now your heart sinks. Because if he was at the saloon late at night. He could have saw-

“He said- he was going to empty his bladder- as everyone does. But he saw Ellie and you.” Dina doesn’t spit out the final sentence, scared to speak such acts into words. But Dina didn’t have to finish the fucking sentence, you knew exactly what she was talking about. You and Ellie. What happened behind the saloon. A time where you believed everyone was sleeping.

Now your mind was going on a race to understand why you’re still standing her, why you’re not throw into a cell like Ellie. “What, what’d she say?..” You look at Dina and Jesse. Your gaze going back and forth.

“Listen your not in trouble- Ellie explained what she did- your okay.” Dina nods. “What the fuck did she say!” You now yell.

Dina’s startled back. But then understanding what Ellie did probably took a tool on you. “Ellie said she forced herself- well.. you know, onto you. Held you tight. It’s okay to be irritable-“

You’re not even listening, everything around is silent ambience you can’t process, why would Ellie even- she had no need to take the blame. Your feet left Dina and Jesse before your brain could react. You’re basically running into the Sheriffs department, almost stumbling in your dress as you do so.

The lawman watches you speed walk over, he quickly steps forward shaking his head forward. “Hey- hey best you don’t come in here. She’ll be dealt with soon enough. Everything was explained.” He says looking at you.

“Let me just see her- okay I want to-.” You think, if you say you just want to see her you know they won’t let you. “I wanna give her a piece of my mind.” You say as you look at him.

His teeth tug in the bottom of his lip, contiplating if letting you through is smart, but soon enough he steps to the side opening the door.

The department had a couple of cells. Shockingly there was no extra sheriff in the spot where one usually sits. So it was just you, and the figure that sat in the cell. Back to the door.

Her back towards you.

“Ellie” You sigh out.

Ellie’s body flinches, she doesn’t turn around or talk. Ellie knows it’s you, you’re the only one who can sigh her name out like that and give her some sort of reaction. But she knows if she sees you, it’ll make this whole situation worse. “Listen- just leave.” She keeps her back towards you.

“Turn around.” You say before crouching in front of the cell, Ellie slowly sighs and turns around.

Her appearance was another reason she didn’t want to see you, her eye was bruised. Lip seemed busted and she had a few cuts around her face. And now you can’t hold back because you’re crying, realizing that if you two didn’t kiss that night everything would be different. “Don’t cry.” Ellie shakes her head.

She’s moving forward in the cell her hand reaching for your cheek. Now metal bars between the two of you. “Why the fuck did you take the blame Ellie” You say looking at her, you want it to come out harshly, because you’re hurt. But it doesn’t, as you’re crying your voice is just weak.

“Because- I didn’t want you to get hurt.” Ellie says her hand still on your cheek wiping the tears. “Now you’re gonna be hurt..Ellie what if they ki-“. Ellie stops you, she’s sure that’s soon to come, but she knows you’ll just panic more. “I’ll be okay.”

Both of you knew it was a lie, the lawman said to your face she’ll be dealt with. But living in some fantasy seemed better then reality.

“Why’d you say it.” You look at her.

“Because I love you.” Ellie sighs. Knowing this is probably the last time she’ll see you.

Kissing Ellie through the bars was something you couldn’t explain. Because it showed how your actions lead you to this point, yet how you both weren’t able to stop now. Because you literally dug this grave. But this time it wasn’t for you, you’ve single handedly dug a grave for Ellie. Where she was sure to rest.

“I love you too.” You sign out, reluctantly pulling back. Getting a good look at the girl. You look down. “Better get goin’ don’t want him to walk back in.” Ellie says as she nods towards the man outside the door.

With that you picked up yourself feeling like a thousand pounds, walking towards the door before you look back at Ellie. She’s noticeably crying. You want to walk to her, hug and kiss her, but you don’t. You just walk out.

- -

You got word a few days after that, Ellie was killed in her cell. People around town speculated it was one of the lawmen, saying they were the only people who could open the cell, but people didn’t care.

James didn’t even console you, he just said he was busy with his father leaving you alone in your house once again. Not even having Ellie to pass the time.

Everyone in Redwater believed getting rid of a person like Ellie was a benefit.

And soon you realized Ellie would become a distance memory, someone you longed for, but could never truly have.

You’d always remember Ellie as your true love. One you’d meet again, weather it be in another lifetime.

One where you can only hope you both got your happy ending.

A/N -> UM!

This is currently the longest thing i’ve ever wrote and it’s so it can hold everyone over before Summer Blossom. Because currently i’m extremely busy!

I have a huge trip coming up and i’m working so I haven’t been able to work on that as of now, which I do apologize for! Give me another week and I swear it’ll be out.

I hope you enjoyed reading this because I LOVED writing it. I was literally listening to old music as I wrote it, and was doing research to make sure everything sorta made sense!

This is a one shot so please settle with the sad ending, it won’t be continued. I’ve never done a sad ending and I feel like I needed some angst.

But other then that I hope you enjoyed this little one shot!

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