Draft Thesis Review critiques
Not going to retype all the comments, just the ones that may require action:
-Colours and formatting would help in reading of changing of tone/voice
-Get editing help for structure
-Challenge to the optimistic view of the noughties
-Make sure personal stories are more clear
-Provide examples of content I am working with i.e. YouTube
-Virtual worlds paragraph needs to be re-written clearer
- Reference to work in political section
-necessary to orientate my political approach
-Does Instagram need to be explained as a mobile application in the footnotes?
-LOOK UP “REPRESSED MEMORIES” ON SPINOFF.CO.NZ (BY JAMES MUSTAPIC)
-vaporware page needs reformatting
-Is Smash Mouth two words ?
-More theory Concept?
-2D and 3D need footnotes then asked if this explanation is needed?
-noughties decade from 2000-2009 maybe etymology, nought=zero + ies = plural of y in imitation of naming other decades e.g. twenties (1920-1929)
-V.R. or VR?
-Title suggestion: “The naughty noughties and the nature of the internet syce”
-line up chapter poems for visual contrast
-expand on the contents of the collage
-Order Chapter poems, personal then historical, same throughout
-Relate my dislike of politics to my generation gender etc. contextualise it.
-I was a kid there is no right answer BUT now can reflect as a informed adult
-WOrth mentioning different audiences?
-what skin I had to the colour of my skin
-pics for chapter poems?
0 notes