#james mention because i dont separate these two

[madamewalburga]

Sirius blinked once to steady himself from the minor sway Apparition always gives him. The grass was wet under his black leather shoes, and he glared at every droplet slowly coating it — as if sheer will (annoyance) might stop the light rain around him.

He could've summoned an umbrella and spelled himself dry, but being annoyed was slightly easier than doing all that.

He stopped at the sight before him, straightened his back, and held his head high. Immediately realizing what he did, he scowled and slouched even lower, glaring at the back of the person in front of him.

Five years after leaving Grimmauld, the sight of Walburga's perfect posture still drives him into the perfect heir mode.

"Summon an umbrella, you dog," Walburga chastised him, back still facing Sirius. She was completely dry, her right hand holding up a transparent umbrella sprouting out the tip of her wand.

Sirius snickered at the insult. He walked closer until she was standing a few feet beside her. He made a show of messily kicking the mud off his shoes at Walburga's direction. Not that it reached her, invisible full-body umbrella and all.

"Half-witted canine."

Sirius smiled wider. "Hello to you too, mother dear."

They stood side by side in silence, breathing in the smell of wet soil of the fresh grave below their feet.

"I have a question," Sirius, for the first time in years, turned his whole body to look at the person who raised him fully. Arms crossed on his chest, he lazily pointed at the sky and asked, "Why does it always rain when someone gets buried? Isn't it a bit... y'know?"

"Finish your sentence, boy." Walburga replied, still not looking at her son. She flicked her wand very slightly, the faint glimmer of her magic reflected on the top of Sirius's head.

Sirius kept his eyes on that wand and reached for his own. He scoffed at the thought of this person starting... things here, of all places, just because he did not finish a sentence.

"Well?" Walburga asked.

"It's a bit cliché, is it not?"

The corner of Walburga's lips rose. "Somebody has to mourn the dead, no?"

"What, you're not mourning it enough?"

"No," Walburga replied quickly. "Are you?"

Smiling at the answer he should've expected, Sirius replied, "Fuck no."

"Language."

Sirius shook his head. Unbelievable. His mother could not even pretend to be mad at him. He crouched down to touch the soil of his father's grave, tracing an outline of a dick with the tip of his wand.

"How childish."

"You should try it too, Mother. It's a bit fun."

He took a cigarette from the chest pocket of his suit. Before lighting it, he pointed his wand up to summon that umbrella he should've summoned moments ago. Only to look up and notice the glimmer of Walburga's magic over him. He immediately looked back down and lit the tip of his cigarette, swallowing the tightness of his throat before taking a puff.

Sirius finished his first cigarette wordlessly. He pressed it against the soil and watched the remaining embers die before sticking it over his father's grave.

"Do not desecrate your father's grave."

"I would piss and shit here if I was a dog." Sirius took another cigarette from his pocket. "Wait, you called me one earlier." He grinned up at her, who rolled his eyes at him.

He observed his mother's face. Her features were still regal and sharp, even with age. Not that his mother was old. He'd never thought about it, but his mother had him when she was just a bit older than he currently is. Her grey eyes never left the tombstone. Though Sirius considered himself an expert in deciphering his mother's expressions, try as he might he had no idea what his mother was thinking as she stared blankly at Orion's grave.

Sirius offered her the cigarette. "Want one?"

For the first time since he arrived here, Walburga stared at him. Sirius held her gaze.

She took the cigarette and lighted it wordlessly. And wandlessly.

Full of surprises today, his mother.

"You have to teach me that," Sirius smirked at her.

"I tried to teach you many useful things and this is what you ask of me?"

"Well, that's a neat trick." Sirius stood up with a groan. He faced his mother and swallowed the tightness in his throat again.

"You know what you should do?" He asked softly. "You should remarry."

His mother chuckled mirthlessly.

"I mean it."

Walburga exhaled. "You should come back to Grimmauld. Sort out the family affairs. Do your duty to—"

"You know I won't."

"You still should." Walburga exhales smoke again, this time slower. "Much as you and I hate this both, you're the only one who can pass on the family name."

"You can! Go and remarry. Find someone you love—"

His mother laughed.

"—make him take the family name. Spend the entire Black fucking fortune, I do not care for it. Do whatever you want!"

Walburga considered him and for the first time in so long, Sirius saw the same adoration his mother used to have for him. Before he disappointed her. Walburga reached out to touch his face. He flinched and closed his eyes before she could touch him. When he opened his eyes, his mother was back to staring blankly at his father's tombstone, her hand clutching her skirt tightly.

"You know I can't," she whispered.

Blinking back the heat behind his eyes, he whispered. "Yes, you can."

Not hearing a response from his mother, he repeated it more firmly. "Yes, you can. You can do whatever the fuck you want now, mummy. You're free!"

"Are you?" his mother faced him once more. "Free?" Of him? Of me?

Sirius stared at her. He smiled. "I'm doing my best."

"Good," Walburga nodded. "Good."

They stood together in silence once more, both finishing their cigarettes. Sirius opened his mouth to try and convince his mother one last time, only to be beaten to it by her.

"That Potter boy has been lurking around the woods for ages now. Tell him to get lost if he doesn't know how to pay his respects properly."

Sirius turned to the trees and saw James hide behind one. James took a peek after a while. When he caught Sirius's eyes, he raised a brow and mouthed 'Go now?', his thumb pointing behind him.

Sirius threw him a v. "Fucking idiot."

"Language."

Sirius faced Walburga again. He swiped his palm over his mouth, muttering what sounded like a fuck it. "If you don't mind me bringing James, I could stop by Grimmauld, see what I can do—"

"Don't." Walburga smiled at him. She reached out to touch his face, and Sirius stood still beneath her touch. "You're doing your best, remember?"

Sirius stayed still.

"Go now. Your James is waiting."

Sirius nodded and turned to walk towards James.

"Sirius."

He paused.

"Don't sleep with your hair wet."

He kept his head down, staring at his now polished shoes as he approached James.

"Hey," James ran his fingers through Sirius's hair as he tried to meet the other's eyes. "Chin up, yeah?"

"Okay."

"Okay," James smiled at him. He glanced above James's head when he caught the glimmer of magic.

"Home now?"

"Yeah," Sirius nodded. "Home now."

James offered his hand, and Sirius took it.

It was completely dry.

[thegamingcatmom]

Guess who? Spoiler: me, its me and I come with a question(s) bc it is 3am and my mind can't shut up (:

So I think this was mentioned previously in another ask or post but I don't remember if it went much into detail. My question is about mates and separation. It is said (dont remember if canon said something about it) that vampires have a hard time being away from their mates and I would like to go deeper into this, know your thoughts on the matter.

Like, how bad it is? How long can they stay away from their mate? Is it minutes, hours, days? Is it painful, like physically? What do they feel, like I think despair, anxiety? Are there vampires who have a better time than others?

And finally how each sister individually is regarding this 'separation' situation? How clingy are they, if they are that is? How do they handle it? Do they call a lot? Text? (They know what phones are right? Ancient creatures they are :p)

Thanks as always for the answers❤️ (this is so long and i probs forgot something but i cant think so im gonna try to sleep xD)

Hiii! <3

Totally relatable! 3am has, unfortunately, become the time my brain works on overdrive as well. Which means I usually have to quit when I feel like I'm making actual progress, because I do need to sleep at some point. 😭

Right so, I think vampires defo have a hard time being away from their mates. I don't think it's actual pain in the sense of being "physical," but I reckon it very much feels like that for them.

I also think that, just like us humans, they have different ways of dealing with that pain. Some seek the company of their other coven members, some prefer to be alone, some (try to) play it cool and don't let anything show, and so on.

With that said, how long they´re able to stay away also varies and depends on multiple factors, I´d say. It´s not just their own personality and their way of dealing with things that plays into it, but also the cause of the separation. I think the latter plays a rather big part, actually. Like, if it´s for a "good" cause then it might be a lot easier for them to endure, I imagine.

...Y´know, this kinda reminds me of Carmen and El and the things I have planned for them in The Sisters, because separation might actually become a recurring theme for them (we see a snippet of that in the upcoming chapter.) I haven´t quite decided yet how far I wanna take it, but your ask kinda makes me wanna explore how Carmen might cope with a possible long-term separation. 💔🥺

As for what they´re feeling when separated from their mate:

JOKES ASIDE THOUGH-

Truly mated/bonded vampires (thinking of James and Victoria here cause I have my doubts about those two) are like fitting puzzle pieces, shaped to align perfectly with the other. If one breaks away, you won´t have a complete picture. Other puzzle pieces might fit with some force, but it will always result in a crooked picture because it´s just not meant to be.

With that said:

I think it´s agony. Like a part of you is missing. A big part. Like, half your body, to be precise.

As for the sisters:

(yes, they do know what phones are, lmao)

(...valid question though)

Tanya would probably cope best. Or, well, she´d be the most convincing at pretending she´s alright. She´s a leader and, in my head, that´s like its "own" personality. If the situation calls for it, a switch is flipped in her head - topdog leader mode activated.

Ofc, the separation from her mate is more of a personal challenge and probably her biggest one yet. Also because it´s one she´s never had to face before meeting MC. But I still think she would handle it a lot better than her sisters...at least on the outside. Like I said, it´s like a switch being flipped, a "mental shield," if you will. She will put on a brave face, act like nothing´s out of the ordinary. She will do her damn best to function, because that´s what she always does in times of hardship. It´s what leaders do.

It might not be the healthiest way to cope with things, but it´s what she knows and feels comfortable with.

…Besides, you can bet your ass there´ll be at least 50 calls, 30 FaceTimes, and 250 messages per day.

A good leader always stays on top of things.

Kate is a lot softer than she lets on, so I think she´d actually struggle the most with being separated from her mate. She would probs try and avoid her family for the most part. As a former warrior, the last thing she wants is to be seen as "weak." Like with Tanya, it´s not the healthiest way to cope with it, but there´s still this thinking that feelings get you killed on the battlefield, y´know? There´s just some things and habits we can´t shake, no matter how hard we try. Kate being reluctant to show any kind of "weakness" in front of others is one such habit. She´s gotten a lot better at allowing and showing those feelings since meeting MC for sure, but when MC´s gone? I imagine she´d be quick to fall back into that spiral.

So yeah, you´ll probs find her in the woods, sparring with the trees or smt to get her mind off things, to distract herself from the immense distress she´s feeling over her mate being gone.

As for contacting her mate:

Hm...I´m actually torn on that one. On one hand, you have the battle-hardened warrior who refuses to show feelings. On the other hand, you have the moonstruck sap who turns into mush the moment her mate is involved in any shape or form.

With that said:

Kate would struggle with exactly that, lol. Like, it´s a constant inner battle between who she was and who she has become since meeting MC. So I can imagine her sitting somewhere, glaring at her phone, doing her best to keep herself from typing in those damn numbers or writing out that stupid message because warriors don´t show "weakness."

...She caves, eventually. And both she and MC are damn glad she did, that lovable dork.

Irina would cope better than Kate, but her struggles would still be more obvious because she doesn´t usually hide her feelings like Kate does. On the contrary, she pretty much wears her heart on her sleeve, which is also why she´s the only one (out of the sisters) who feels 100% comfortable with confiding in others about how she feels. She usually goes to Carmen when she seeks comfort or guidance, like pretty much everyone else in the coven, lol. So, when it comes to dealing with that pain, I´d say Irina defo has the healthiest way of doing it.

She also has the healthiest call/message count btw, lmao. She´s not as overbearing as Tanya (nobody is, lel), and also not as stone-faced as Kate. She gives a quick call or leaves a heartfelt message here and there, just checking in, y´know? Sometimes they´re short and sweet, other times they´re literal novels in which she proclaims her undying love over and over and over and over and over and-

...I mean, there are times where she just...she gets carried away a bit, which usually ends with her dropping everything to go and seek out her mate.

...Her mate, who went to the supermarket for a quick errand.

I mean, listen-

In the end, I think it all comes down to why the sisters have been separated from MC. They´ll probs cope a lot better if they know the separation is short-lived.

...Or maybe not, lol. *points to Irina*

.

.

.

Thanks a lot for your ask! Always stoked when those pop up in my inbox. 💋

#keepthethirstalive #keepthedenalisalive

[ethernetchord]

lets talk: popular iwwv criticism

(disclaimer: i know criticism is subjective and thats why im doing this, i wanna look at some common points made against iwwv and dissect them just a little bit in the opposite direction. also none of this is directed at any individual- it’s all based on the general talking points i’ve seen surrounding the book.)

SPOILER WARNING !!

lack of exploration into james and oliver (+ gay characters feel performative)

i’ve seen loads of people say that oliver and james’ relationship felt very performative, a way of including the queer romnce which clearly is very important to the plot but not actually giving it any space in the novel, nor developing it to the same extent which meredith/oliver was.

oliver and meredith had a very strictly physical relationship and while he did love her, he wasn’t in love with her the way he was with james. the juxtaposition in the way that oliver/james is delivered and the way meredith/oliver is delivered is, i believe, far too repetitive to not be intentional. i actually realised upon re-reading how much focus there really is on meredith’s sexuality, even in subtleties in the book. meredith and oliver get more blatant sex scenes, get more physical parts because oliver was (to an extent) using his attraction to meredith to distract himself from his infatuation with james.

we also have to remember that oliver and james didn’t get their real moment of honesty about their relationship till extremely late into the book. i’d honestly see it as more ‘performative’ to then after or in the middle of kind lear throwing in some wild sex scene between the two. it wouldn't have fit.

“why didn’t james and oliver get together earlier then >:(((“ because the slow burn between them, the subtext, the subtle-ness, the yearning, they were all crucial to the decision which oliver made at the end. the fact that they burned so bright for each other but (oliver particularly) were so desperately repressed, that was what made this such a tragic romance. yes its tiring to read stories about queer people being repressed, yes its tiring to see the bury your gays trope. but like oliver says, it goes beyond gender.

if oliver’s second love interest was a girl, and treated this way, we’d be a lot more on board with these tropes- but the fact that james is a man, and this therefor becomes a queer relationship, makes it feel performative. i can’t convince you of anything- but i like to believe that their relationship being treated like this not only makes it so much more “heart wrenching because why! why couldn’t it work out, why couldn’t it be better!” - not because its a queer relationship but because they were soulmates.

alexander wasn’t performative. not in the slightest, rio just didn’t make being gay his entire identity. same goes for colin. just because they’re queer doesn’t mean it needs to be the only thing about them. this isn’t a lgbt novel- characters dont have to be gay just for plot. they can just be gay.

i’ve also seen people complain about not just making oliver bisexual. guys. did you read the book? he was bisexual. he was emotionally and physically attracted to both meredith and james. guys that’s literally what bisexual means.

i'm totally on board with the coming out scenes! and realisation of feelings and all that stuff- but again, not an lgbt centric novel and also- these were things oliver probably did and realised far before this book. remember that its set in 4th year, at an art school. he knew he was fruity ok. not every queer character in every queer book have to have these grandious coming out scenes or realisations. the lack there of doesn’t equal performance.

the ending was rushed and bad

believe what you will, but i don’t think james is dead. there’s a little too much ambiguity in that ending, in the extract he leaves oliver, in the “his body was never found.” so if your main quarrel with the ending is that “bury your gays” situation- please know there’s a chance- and that giving it that chance opens up so much more discussion and reader response.

yes, the ending is sad. but it’s not rushed. “but that is how a tragedy like ours or king lears breaks your heart- by making you believe the ending might still be happy until the very last second.” doing king lear, doing macbeth, doing romeo and juliet, the plays are chosen not only for reader convenience (they’re plays readers will most likely be familiar with) but also because they all, so very deeply, foreshadow a “bad” ending. killing james, makes sense. as much as people don’t want to hear it, from an authorial perspective- from the reader’s perspective and as a human being it makes sense. why do keep arguing that he “should’ve stayed alive for oliver” or that “if he really loved oliver he wouldn’t have done it” - why are we limiting a character’s entire existence down to their love interest. yes, they were best friends, yes they were set up as lovers but that doesn’t mean that that would be enough to keep james around. james was a fragile character- he was always checking with oliver if he had upset him, he was always worried, overthinking, james wasn’t strong minded- and he was suffering. the only person he had left to depend on was in prison, he was plagued with the guilt of causing the death of a classmate and letting oliver take the blame, if he did kill himself, it sure as hell doesn’t have any reason to sound forced.

“its not nearly as good as the secret history!!!!”

to be honest here buds, why the fuck do we keep comparing them so insistently. they are not the same book. iwwv wasn’t trying to be tsh 2.0, yes there are similarities because hey! guess what! books in similar genres tend to do that! always comparing it tsh when they have different motives, different plots and vastly different execution makes no sense. the only reason that they are compared is because tumblrtm dark academics like to group the two together. and yea- makes sense, but stop trying to belittle iwwv because it isn't as grandiose as tsh, because it’s a little more literal, because it’s not as intertextual as tsh. half the people saying iwwv isn’t as good as tsh are practically just subtly going “shakespeare isn’t as complicated as ancient greek huehue” stop forcing the two together and let them be separately appreciated.

the characters were flat/archetypes/etc

sigh. okay.

these characters are actors. this book shows us their transition from themselves entirely into a conjunction of the roles they’ve played and the stereotypes they’ve portrayed.

“we were so easily manipulated - confusion made a masterpiece of us.”

“for us, everything was a performance”

“imagine having all your own thoughts and feelings tangled up with all the thoughts and feelings of a whole other person. it can be hard, sometimes, to sort out which is which.”

“far too many times i had asked myself whether art was imitating life or if it was the other way around”

“it’s easier now to be romeo, or macbeth, or brutus, or edmund. someone else.”

are you seeing it now? this focus on their archetypes, this focus on the character they are; the way they see themselves not merely as human but as a walking concoction of every character they have turned into and out of. they depend on their archetypes to give them meaning. rio uses these archetypes to remind us of the submersion of her characters. they weren’t flat, their intentional lack of dimension due to their pasts is what makes them so intricate. furthermore, there's an evident subversion- the tyrant becomes a victim, the hero becomes a villain (they all become villains really), the ingenue becomes corrupted. like mentioned before, i think we forget ourselves easily reading this book but there is a great deal of emphasis on this being their last year- which is so important. the damage has been done and a lot of the issues people have with the content (or lack thereof) in this book has to do with the fact that it’s all things that would have occurred in books focusing on previous years at delletcher.

“it didn't live up to expectation” (also leading on from read tsh to this and being ‘disappointed’)

i cant argue this because its entirely subjective. whatever expectation was created for you, i cannot know that and appropriately respond however- if you liked the secret history and understood the secret history then there's a good chance you also liked and understood this book- even if not to the same extent but you must be able to recognize the authorial approach and its significance. i think a lot of ppl read iwwv (and a lot of “dark academia” texts and films) and hope to be able to romanticize the aesthetic or the concepts and then are disappointed when they are presented with mildly unlikeable and overwhelmingly human characters who aren’t easy to romanticize.

a great majority of these books are criticisms of the very culture you’re trying to romanticize, and the only time you’re willing to admit that is when boasting about the ‘self-awareness’ of the people indulging in them, and then a moment later complain about those same qualities because they don’t serve this idealized expectation.

bad rep for arts/liberal arts/ humanities students as being pretentious/cultish

as a humanities student with a great love for eng lit- all of these things are indeed pretentious and cultish. not all the time and not always and not every person- but it is a common theme. academia is overwhelmingly obsessive and extremely white-washed. people become so fast to believe that they are indulging in finer arts and are therefore a higher standard of person. academia is problematic. and the recent influx of people interested in it is good, very good because hopefully, we’ll be more diverse, more open-minded, more accepting. that's what i hope at least. if you know, as an individual, that you’re not a pretentious academic who places themselves above non-academics then that's wonderful- but there are dangers and negative sides to academia that need to be understood so that we can see to not perpetuating them.

i cant refute all points, mostly because there's a lot of good and well-explained criticism because no book is perfect. and my intentions are not to belittle anyone's opinion. these are merely opposing arguments, food for thought and to be fair- a critical look into why not everything is always going to be what we expect of it and why every ‘problem’ can be assessed.

[brook-e-lynns]

Bucky Barnes -No Hope |one shot|

Summary: Bucky goes to trial for his past. you and Steve try your best to get him out. Bucky decides he deserves it, even if you tell him otherwise.

Warnings: jail, court, sadness, angst, mentions of murder.

Word count: 1.1K

A/N: this is unedited and terribly written… sorry?

You had never judge Bucky for his past you didn’t care because you loved him, you didn’t love the winter soldier but you loved James barnes.

Walking to the stairs of the court house, surrounded by people shunning both you and Bucky. keeping your heads down as you climb the stairs. The chatter of the groups building a wall beside you. “ just keep your head down,love” he whispers leaning into you.

The sounds of people yelling ‘murderer’ towards Bucky waving signs towards you. Steve follows closely behind trying to cover both you and Bucky from the people.

The court house doors open letting you inside. Two officers separate Bucky for the group taking him away.

They stick you and Steve in the front row of the court house. Tapping your leg anxiously.

The trial seemed to go by slowly, your mind blocking out half of what the judge was saying, your eyes glued to bucky in distress, bucky nearing tears as he watched you. The room goes quiet, not being able to hear anything as if you’re deaf you can hear the speed of your breath picking up and the sound of your heartbeat pounding in your chest. as you watch his emotions on his face finally breaking, you can tell he’s lost, he was guilty. You can barely breathe as Steve pulls you into him, you watch as they put Bucky into cuffs. Bucky didn’t look at you after that and it broke you.

It had been a week since bucky had been sentenced four years in jail due to him being pardoned he’d be serving less time. A week since you had seen him. And a week since your whole world had been ripped apart from you.

Entering the doors of the jail house making your way to the front desk. “ James Barnes” you saw as the woman at the desk nods buzzing for him to be brought out. She escorts you to the visiting area, having you take a seat in front of the glass and a black phone hung against the wall.

You watch as he’s brought out and released from his cuffs. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days, his eyes were dark. You pull the phone from the receiver giving him a soft smile “ hi Jamie” you whisper this being the first time you’ve seen him since court, you were heartbroken seeing him in such distress.

“ hi baby” he says before running his hand across his eyes “ steve is figuring stuff out with the legal team so you can come home” you say giving him a reassuring smile.

He shakes his head “love, i want you to stop trying to get me out, i’m not going to” he says softly into the phone “ but we are, jamie. it’s not your fault” you try fighting the situation “ but i did it, im exactly what they said ,im guilty. Thats why im here” he says his hand is gripping onto the table in front of him. “ I don’t want you to wait four years just to carry on with your life” he says under his breath.

“ what?” your voice breaks as you try to speak barely getting the word out “ baby, i’m stuck here while your out there, i dont think id be able to live with myself if i’m holding you back from that life, i want you to sign the papers” he says bringing his attention to the ring warped around your finger.

“Divorce papers?” you mumble , choking back the tears, your hand shakingly running across your ring “I don’t want you to come here anymore, (Y/N)” he says finally letting his tears go. your heart sinks at the thought of not seeing him for four years. “ I love you” he says before he hooks the phone back onto the wall.

You sit there in shock and in pain from what he had just said. Watching as they escort him out. The woman from before escorts you back outside as she departs from you giving you a soft smile seeing how much pain you’re in. right as you hear the doors close behind you. You let out the sobs you had been holding back, the pit in your stomach tightens trying to control your tears.

You had come back to see him everyday for almost four months. You had been noticed as a regular right as you reach the desk leslie would just shake her head before you hand her the letters that you would write to him the night before, but had never gotten anything back.

Today was finally his day of release, the day you finally get to see him again after four long years.

You stand outside rubbing your hands together as a way to calm yourself down. The doors swing open exposing him with his big green bag. His face lights up the moment he sees you.

He drops his bag from his shoulder as you run towards him wrapping your arms around his neck as he lifts you off the ground. Taking in the scent you hadn’t smelt in four years ,feeling the embrace that you haven’t felt in four years , you still loved him after all this time.

You both let your emotions loose crying into each other not wanting you let go of the other. “ I missed you” you mumble into his neck pressing kisses along his shoulder as you sob.

“ I missed you too ,baby” his says tightening his grip around you. you let out a laugh before pulling yourself away from him.

Pressing your lips against his. Running your hand through the long hairs on the back of his head.

“ welcome home, Jamie”.

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s stepkid

Tony Stark x Potts!child!reader

warnings: alcohol mention

a/n: i rushed these so bad i just wanted to post dhhshsnsna

prompt: y/n is pepper’s kiddo!

it was just you and your mom for a long time

pepper and y/n potts

she couldn’t keep up with you sometimes, too busy dealing with the manchild that was mister anthony edward stark

speaking of—

“uh, who’s this?” -tony, pointing at you

“mr. stark, i am so sorry, the school closed because some kid set fire to the science lab and i didn’t have time to find a sitter—”

“no, it’s fine, no need to apologize. hey, kid, you wanna sit in the boss’s chair? i’ll let you run the company for the day!” *cue you nodding* “sweet, would you mind that, ms. potts?”

“oh? no, not at all” *mouthing* “thank you”

“so, uh, what’s your name? no, don’t tell me: ketchup.”

*giggling* “y/n”

“no way! that was my second guess!”

tony wasn’t used to being around kids

he had no idea that he was actually kind of good around them

despite a few minor hiccups

“you sit in my chair and im gonna spin you around, sound like fun?”

he spun you around WAY too fast and you were diiiiizzy, also you fell off the chair

“don’t tell your mom that we did that. she may be my assistant, but she scares the shit out of me. also, don’t say ‘shit’”

dude he just thought you were a cool kid!!!

“hey, you know, ms. potts, you dont really need to hire a babysitter anymore. y/n’s doing just fine hanging out here”

“how am i not surprised you befriended an actual child?”

she still took him up on his offer, you seemed pretty happy

when your mom worked late, you passed out in tonys office

tony and you had your own little secrets (like falling off the spinning chair), tony showed you around stark tower, and you practically lived there

“i got you a happy meal from mcdonalds!” -tony every day after your school

in all honesty, you weren’t the “popular” kid at school...not even close

but tony made up for it

“y/n! i found this old racecar toy in a box of old stuff, you wanna hold onto it for me?”

you kind of grew up in stark tower tbh? it was pretty cool

and as you grew up, you started to notice more

“mr. tony, do you have a crush on my mom?”

“do i what? no, no, i do—who the hell am i kidding? you caught me”

“called it!”

after that you did everything to try and get them together

when your mom was talking to tony, you would stand behind her and wiggle your eyebrows and just taunt tony endlessly

no! tony cannot remember your mom’s birthday for the life of him! you are his calendar now

“dude, why dont you just ask JARVIS to remind you?”

“i may be a genius, but that doesn’t mean i have common sense”

“wise words, sir” -JARVIS

when tony disappeared for 3 months you were so sad???? like you were not okay at all

no

and when he came back, he literally exited the plane saying “WHERE’S ‘T-POTT??’”

(your wonderful nickname. ‘t’ for ‘tony jr.’ and ‘pott’ for ‘potts’)

“my mom missed you”

“oh, i bet she did”

“you turned my child into you, tony. i will never forgive you for this”

“well, at least y/n was here to fill in for me, huh?”

tony wanted to show you the arc reactor but he was actually afraid of scarring you lmfaoooo

but he did let you in on the iron man secret (he knew you wouldn’t snitch)

and just to make sure:

“if you dont tell anyone, i’ll buy you a car when you turn 16”

“man, that’s like, forever away”

“good, maybe you’ll forget by then”

ur mom kinda maybe sorta found out abt iron man :/ she told you that tony was a bad influence

“mom! no, tony’s cool! he’s like a superhero”

“no, sweetie, he’s a rich guy with issues. we’re leaving”

that didn’t last long

not long at all

and soon they FINALLY got together

“jeez, i thought you two would never stop pining after each other”

“couldnt have done it without my wingman” -tony *fistbump*

“as thanks can i have my own iron man suit?”

“yes.” *pepper glaring at him* “no.”

sooner or later your mom and you moved into tony’s house and you got a really big room!!!!

it was completely decked out

king sized bed, flatscreen tv, mini-fridge, microwave, computer, your own bathroom with a smaller tv, a poster of tony??? (you vandalized it and put it in his workshop), and more!!!

okay you were spoiled

“do you like it here? are you sure i made the right choice?” -pepper

“are you kidding, mom? this is awesome! plus, you’re happy, i’m happy, tony’s happy, i think JARVIS is even happy!”

“i am, mx. potts. simply ecstatic” -JARVIS

pepper was really happy!! it was a pretty cool family

you started giving your school tony’s number if you ever got in trouble, you knew he’d cover for you

“mr. potts, is it?”

“sure”

“your child, y/n, punched another student in the face today. we’re very disappointed in their behavior”

“why’d they punch the kid?”

“well, the other student punched y/n first”

“HAH! thank you for wasting my time. send y/n back to class and call me back if something important comes up”

he literally gave you a high five when you got home

“i gave him a black eye!”

“i couldn’t be more proud. i mean, i dont condone violence, but self defense is a whole other story”

a little help in the workshop, tony asks you to hold the flashlight

“why don’t you get one of your robots to hold this for you?”

“are you kidding me, you’re complaining? we’re having stepdad/stepkid bonding time! and dum-e can’t do anything right, i dont trust him”

youve had a few theme park trips as a family ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

also tony has 100% told you to wait in the car and then left you alone for 2+ hours

“i’m not like a regular dad, im a step-dad. want some beer? you can have a little sip. i’d rather you do it in the house”

your mother actually does love how he actually cares about you!

“y/n is 12% my responsibility” -tony

“tony, you are impossible” -pepper

no avengering for you! pepper said no!!!!!!

disappointed but not surprised

iron man 3: y/n potts is put through the wringer

Text Message to Mr. Tony: bro you better come get your girl, me and happy are watching this other guy flirting with her. he’s showing her pics of his ‘big brain’

Mr. Tony: HE WHAT

Text Message to Mr. Tony: Tony he looks creepy i don’t want him to be my new stepdad do something!!!

anyways ur house kinda blew up and ur mom and you kinda got kidnapped and u were right abt that guy being creepy and thankfully no experiments were done on you but like your mom kinda almost died and her and tony were fine!!! all good in the end

you met mr. col. james rhodes that day

“aw, you’re the kid ive heard so much about” -rhodey

“you mean the coolest kid in the world?check.”

“you cant tell me you aren’t tony’s biological child, good god”

you got to meet the avengers later on too! (you’d already met natasha tho, only briefly)

“i know it can be a little overwhelming, right? meeting all these heros, legends even—” -rhodey

“oh, my god, is that thor? thor!!” -you, leaving rhodey in the dust

literally why does pepper trust you around tony something always goes wrong there were literally robots attacking, you were only at avengers tower bc your mom was busy with the company and she thought you’d be safe with the avengers. the AVENGERS.

“please dont tell your mom that i created a bad robot that tried to kill us. the robot will be the least of our problems” -tony

he made happy pick you up and you had to miss out on FUN and it sucked a lot

“it’s okay, y/n! i’m fun, too!” -happy

then your mom and tony took a break and your life got mega-boring for a while, but they weren’t separated for that long. you try not to think about it. it was brutal

Mr. Tony: Does she miss me?

New Message to Mr. Tony: I think so. Either that or she’s crying and drinking wine in the dark for no reason.

Mr. Tony: Damn it, now I feel bad. I miss her a lot. Oh, also, the Avengers say ‘hi,’ I’m in Germany with some bad news, I’ll explain later if you don’t see it on TV first, and I found you the perfect friend! His name is Peter and I think you’d like the school he goes to, it’s in Midtown. Smart kid school.

New Message to Mr. Tony: I’ll look into it, thanks. Also, I don’t like how those all connect. Please update me asap

watching the news to see several avengers arrested, cap on the run, and more!

“maybe it was good i didn’t fall in with the avengers”

tony and pepper finally got back together and you actually transferred to midtown high! peter and his friend group accepted you quickly, it was great. you and flash unfortunately had the most in common

you’d literally text happy right next to peter and he’d immediately reply to you. it hurt peter’s feelings

Momma: Sweetie! I’m working in the office late, leftovers are in the fridge, hope you have a wonderful day at school! 💕

👉👈the vulture tried to kill you for being tony’s stepkid, tony made peter promise to protect you

“y/n, you gotta stay out of harm’s way. mr. stark gave me an actual mission and it’s terrifying, i have to make sure you stay safe”

legit why the fuck was this old man tryna kill you bro grow up

anyyyywayssss your mom and tony got engaged!!

“wow, i thought the day would never come!!” -you

ppl told you tony isnt your stepdad bc ur mom and him werent married but who tf asked

why is the earth always in fucking danger

you and peter were just vibing on the field trip bus and all the sudden: space donut

“go! i’ll cover for you...FRIDAY, call tony”

“...hi there, little one”

“what the fuck”

“oh, so you see the aliens, too? well, at least im not crazy”

tony stark has left the atmosphere

you and your mom were kinda......not chillin tho

she and you didn’t sleep for a few nights, then ppl just straight up disappeared

plot twist: you survived the snap and your family was lucky to be alive, you even got a little sister who became a big handful!

only bad thing was all your friends dusted and you were pretty lonely

but watching morgan grow up kept you busy

“ahhh, shes so big!”

happy times in bad times

bad times!!!!! bc after five years thanos came back as thanos from like ten years ago. outdated thanos. obsolete thanos.

but you made your first and only appearance in the suit tony actually designed for you many years ago

you should have just stayed home tho bc that fight didnt pass the vibe check

“please dont tell me he...no, no, no, no, no”

you and your mom latched onto each other in tears, tony was one of the best people in your life, he made you and your mom two of the happiest people on earth

best stepdad a kid could ever ask for

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiantfavs // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @ofthedewthesunlight //

[khaotickae]

WE THE NORTH WEEK 2K21 - DAY 006

↬ innovation = haley ↫

i picked this early on and then i thought i wasn't thinking about this right and then i realized i was and so i came back to this. i did not fit all of @charlieweasleyy's characters on here because i could barely fit the four. have you ever noticed how muscians suck in the image department, no? just me? okay then. moving on

*barney stintson voice* have you met haley? i'm sure you have because she's everywhere and she's friendly and lovely and honestly one of the best people (even tho she got me in a lot of trouble this week). i thought about putting haley for relevance a time or two while i was struggling with that prompt BUT i feel like she paves the way which lead me back to keeping her characters in this position. buckle up bc this is going to get long again.

lets get this party started (haley can correct me on anything i say that's not accurate)

James was one of my first favourite characters on the site, which everyone knows because you've heard me gush about him every appreciate week in june since i joined and prob at any given moment elsewhere. and i love what haley is doing with him, the story that she's telling with him, the way he's changing and the way he's seeing the world is evolving and its not because of the fact that he's married to prudence. but its because of the way the world sees and treats him, some times its got me cheering while reading and other times i feel incredibly sad about it. he's not the only black character on the site but he's the most involved in the social issues (i could be wrong and if i am, apologies) and i am excited to be joining haley with that. everyone got their characters involved in BLM last year, but since that moment i've heard haley talk about how she wants to keep doing things like that with james. i've wanted an activist character for a while now (i get that itch specifically around june yearly because of a show i watch every june) and i felt like james' estrange cousin was my best opportunity.

Then there is Hakim, who admitted i wasn't as aware of (as well as i could have been) until i made his sister Pari. and haley came at me with all these thoughts and head canons of the family and everything that she'd thought about with hakim which, i played myself because i love this character so much more now and all he does is hurt me. she popped into a group chat of the siblings and proposed a ramadan thread idea and then another but followed it up with like 1298742190 other links so that we could be informed while we were writing it. those links came in during the span it took me to find a single article. and it helped me flesh out pari a bit more and figure out how i wanted to shape her as a mix of tradition beliefs and non traditional. i just love this family and he's one of my favourite characters to read.

Mitch is a character i know i would struggle with, that rang true more so when we were not a site in canada. (idk if you've all seen my little breakdown about the *voices in your head* concept but sometimes separating me from characters isn't always easy. ) but she does it with such grace and respect, mitch could be seen as just a one dimensional character because we all seem to just write off conservatives. not to mention haley made a cop during the current climate. while i think that is valid at times, political stance doesn't always equal personality or mean that a person embodies everything of that political party (maybe its a privilege of living in canada where our conservatives are progressive idk dont @ me, let me gush in peace) and i think that's well represented in mitch. he has his beliefs, he has put his foot in his mouth and he married someone that can call him out when needed. but he's such a good person despite in his faults or in spite of them. the way haley approaches him is lovely. i can't wait to see the growth with mitch over the next few years, some of what i know, others which i don't which is always exciting to see unfold.

Sierra, i've loved them for a while like love love loved them and i could not think of ways to get plots with them that would span more than a thread and i was frustrated. one day we will get a ship (i tried with sierra but alas the stars did not align but that's okay) having them become part of tez's little crew has been one of my favourite things, i love the dynamic between them. but i did have a brief moment in 2040 where i had a friends to lovers sort of ship with sadie who was trans and haley didn't even think about it, like it was just a natural decision for her. which is the way it should be. so i was not at all surprised when sierra became non binary in like six hours of the news breaking and how haley just went about that whole process in a day. and i haven't been able to stop thinking about it and how its got me thinking about something similar.

a lot of things i've seen in haley's writing has inspired me to be more like haley. to take more chances. i wish i could think like her so i think my goal for year six is going to be simple. i'm going to approach it with:

WWHD?

what would haley do, and then act accordingly. but i think she's always going to be at the forefront of innovative ideas on the site and i love to see it. even more, i'm glad i get to be part of it at times. that was a lot, thanks for coming to my "all about haley" talk.

[revolutionary-demosthenes]

So to start off, here are some mini-bios of people who I’ll be talking about! This is going to be a long post, but it will make it easier to understand my future posts if you don’t know some of these people. I’m covering: Alexander Hamilton, John Laurens, Francis Kinloch, Lois Manoël de Vègobre, Johannes Von Müller, Charles Victor de Bonstetten, Alleyne Fitzherbert 1st Baron, St. Helens, and Thomas Gray.

John Laurens: You might’ve heard of him if you listen to Hamilton. John Laurens was born in Charleston, South Carolina. His father was Henry Laurens, a prominent South Carolinian who co-owned the largest slave trading house in North America, “Austin and Laurens.” Yeah. He pretty much was a terrible father and a terrible person. He would later become president of the congressional congress. His mother was named Eleanor Laurens. Her death when John was 16 marked a significantly traumatic event in his life, however in general, John Laurens was very well acquainted with death. He was the fourth child born in his family, but he was the oldest by the time he was four years old, his older siblings all dying at young ages. One can only speculate how these early losses affected young John, or Jack, as his family called him.

John was most likely tutored at a young age. He grew up in very privileged circumstances certainly, as his father was one of the most well-known and rich South Carolinians of the time. 

As John grew up, he became very studious and serious. His father viewed him as the most promising child of the Laurens children, and prayed he would not fall prey to gambling or women. At nearly thirteen, we find our first piece of evidence suggesting John Laurens might be gay. His father Henry Laurens writes, “Master Jack is too closely wedded to his studies to think about any of the Miss Nannies I would not have such a sound in his Ear for a Crown…” In other words, Henry Laurens noticed his son’s unusual lack of interest in girls. Of course, one could read it as a passing comment on how studious his son was, or just thankfulness that Henry’s ‘best’ son didn’t seem to be ‘tempted’ in any way, but this does still confirm that as a young teenager, (and some point out that this is the time when many boys go through puberty, and therefore discover their sexual interests,) John was NOT interested in ladies. 

As John grew even older, his father decided the time was ripe for some education in Europe. Some speculation has occurred that right before John left for Europe he painted a collection known as Pope Brown Collection of South Carolina Natural History. It contains 32 paintings of natural organisms, including many types of birds and plants. This is not confirmed, but it is of interest to many that John Laurens was a very good artist, and probably quite interested in art. Many have heard of the (in)famous turtle drawings John did. In truth, though John did draw the soft-shelled turtle for naturalist Alexander Garden, he most likely did not have an uncommon affection for that particular animal.

So, John soon found himself on a boat to Europe with his younger brothers, Henry jr. and James, known as Jemmy. They eventually settled in Geneva, staying with a family friend. 

But before we even get to Geneva, it is worth noting a passage from a letter by Henry Laurens. This was written while John was briefly enrolled in a school in London. While complaining about the many crimes and indulgences of the city, he mentions “…and every black and execrable Crime had gain’d in the City is equally astonishing and shocking.” Now this simply could be another thrown in crime in the long list that precedes this, but in those those days ‘black crime’ was sometimes a code for homosexuality. So was John exposed to homosexuality in London the way Hamilton was at Nevis? This could provide some context for his later relationship with Francis Kinloch.

In 1772, the Laurens boys arrived in Geneva. John studied a multitude of subjects, and polished up his French. While he fretted about finding his brothers proper schools, his Uncle James Laurens was concerned about a different aspect of his time. Geneva, which had been a theocracy at one point, was now very open to new, more secular ways of thinking. John assured his Uncle that he was not influenced by any of his teachers not being ‘classically’ Christian. But it may not be a coincidence that the place where John most likely had his first homosexual relationship was a place more open to new types of thinking and concepts, especially in terms of religion.

What exactly was this first relationship? To establish some context, we must return briefly to Charlestown, South Carolina. The Kinloch family lived there and did know the Laurens’s. The name ‘Kinloch’ appears in some of Henry Laurens’s papers, and apparently Francis Kinloch’s sister made John ruffles for his travels to Europe. But in 1774, as John was dutifully studying in Geneva, his father wrote to him “From a hint which Waag dropped at Bath tis expected by the freinds of the young Eatonian that he will find a freind in you at Genevé, tho none of ‘em have Said a word to me on the Subject.” This “freind” is in fact Francis Kinloch, so it may be that he and John had met before. 

John and Francis became very good friends along with one of Laurens’s tutors, Luis de Manoel de Vegobre. There is little documentation of the Kinloch-Laurens relationship whilst the latter was in Geneva, but once they were separated many letters were exchanged, several quite romantic sounding. What is quite possibly the most passionate line Laurens ever wrote to a lover is contained at the end of a letter to Francis. “We may differ in our political sentiments my dear Kinloch but I shall always love you for the knowledge I have of your Heart.” Kinloch was a loyalist, influenced by his guardian Thomas Boone, while John Laurens was obviously a patriot and the two debated hotly via letters. 

Another aspect that must be looked at when considering the Laurens-Kinloch relationship is the amount of trust in the relationship. The level of trust is apparent when we see John first express his abolitionist views in a letter to Kinloch,  “I could talk much with you my Dear Friend upon this Subject,” says John, referring to slavery. “and I know your generous Soul would despise and sacrifice Interest to establish the Happiness of so large a Part of the inhabitants of our Soil_  if as some pretend, but I am persuaded more thro’ interest, than from Conviction, the Culture of the Ground with us cannot be carried on without African Slaves, Let us fly it as a hateful Country_ and say ubi Libertas ibi Patria…” Kinloch responded that he supported the ideas, but did not see how fellow Southerners would adopt them. This only illustrates more clearly that though there were serious conflicts, theirs was a loving and trusting relationship. 

When John was forced to leave Geneva, (and he did want to stay… one wonders if Kinloch had something to do with this. It may have been other reasons, like that John felt freer from his father or enjoyed his rich social life.) he wrote a plaintive letter to Kinloch, telling him, “If my Letter is a little confused, dont be surprised at it, for I am quite like a creature in [a] new world…” 

  However, as if John hadn’t lost enough family in his mere nineteen years, his brother Jemmy lost his life that summer. The boy had apparently tried to jump to John’s window and had fractured his skull. John was with his brother through the horrible night. He wrote to his uncle James, “At some Intervals he had his Senses, so far as to be able to answer singe Questions, to beckon me, to form his Lips to kiss me, but for the most part he was delirious and frequently unable to articulate. Puking, Convulsions near very violent, and latterly so gentle as to be scarcely perceived, or deserve the Name, ensued, and Nature yielded.” It is notable that soon after this, John Laurens sent a letter to Francis Kinloch, whom he hadn’t corresponded with since late the year before, 1774. This again illustrates that though the relationship was not flawless or without conflict, Laurens trusted and confided in his friend/lover.

Now studying law at Middle Temple, John received an extremely upsetting letter from Francis Kinloch. Apparently Kinloch was ready to move on from their romance. He starts the letter with an almost deceptively affectionate opening, “Whatever may be your idea of my manner of thinking in political affairs, don’t let that hinder you from telling me yours, and I promise to be as free with you: we hold too fast by one anothers hearts, my dear Laurens, to be afraid of exposing our several opinions to each other.” But Kinloch signs the letter “be certain I shall never forget you.” Apparently John  saw this as Kinloch being done with him, and as a result did something that would change his life forever.

One of Henry Laurens’s business partners, William Manning, was in London the same time as John, and apparently young Laurens came to call occasionally and enjoyed the company of Manning’s children. This is where he met Martha Manning. There is one piece of evidence to suggest that they were courting for a time, however all we know for sure is that Martha became pregnant around the time the last Kinloch letter reached John, and John Laurens was forced to marry the woman, certainly not because he loved her. “Pity has obliged me to marry.” John  wrote to his uncle. It could be that if they were courting prior to the pregnancy, the relationship was one-sided, or was an attempt for John be seen as straight. 

Though John was now married, he was yearning to leave his unhappy marriage and fight for America. An ardent patriot and abolitionist, he longed to go overseas and join the army. Henry Laurens tried his best to hinder his son’s want, but found that John was no longer a child he could bend to his will. So, John boarded a ship to America, not knowing, and possibly not caring, that he was leaving his wife behind. 

Henry Laurens, being a very prominent Carolinian and future president of the Continental Congress, managed to get his son an excellent position as Aide-de-Camp to general George Washington, though John was not officially appointed the position until October 6th or 7th. He joined the staff in August 1777, and met Alexander Hamilton, a man who would change his life forever.

Alexander Hamilton:

In quite a contrast to John Laurens’s privileged, if morbid childhood, future Founding Father Alexander Hamilton was born out of wedlock on the tiny island of St Croix to Rachel Facuette and James Hamilton in either the year 1755 or 1757. (There is great debate over his birth year. Hamilton himself used 1757, but a large amount of evidence from his childhood points to 1755. For time’s sake, we will use 1755.) Hamilton adored books and writing, but was hindered in his intellectual dreams by the grim circumstances he was brought up in. 

Hamilton had a single brother, James, also born out of wedlock. When Hamilton was 12 his mother died of smallpox, quite common at the time. Alexander was also sick, however he recovered, albeit he always had health problems most likely connected to the early brush with mortality.

Where Alexander grew up, blacks outnumbered whites by a ratio of nearly 8:1, so there was existential tension in the air, a constant fear of sugar plantation owners that the slaves would revolt. Indeed, the slave owners were so cruel to their slaves that things Hamilton witnessed as a child appear to have given him a permanent pessimism about human nature. In addition to the rich white landowners and enslaved blacks, there was a population of poor whites and criminals. St. Croix was a place where outcasts in society at the time were sent as well. This included people accused of sodomy (homosexuality). Ron Chernow writes in his biography of Alexander Hamilton, “Hamilton had certainly been exposed to homosexuality as a boy, since many ‘sodomites’ were transported to the Caribbean along with thieves, pickpockets, and others deemed undesirable.” This may explain why Hamilton seemed more at ease with his sexuality than Laurens, who grew up in a more strict, to say the least, household.

After his mother’s untimely death, Alexander and his brother lived with their cousin Peter Lytton. Unfortunately, very soon after the arrangement began, Peter took his own life, leaving the boys with practically no place to go. 

Alexander managed to get a job clerking for a prominent businessman. It is no stretch to assume that this is where Hamilton began his economic studies. While Alexander managed to get a good job, his brother was stuck being a carpenter and competing with others for work. Ron Chernow points out that this is again an example of Hamilton’s superior intellect pulling him out of ditches.

When Alexander was seventeen, a horrible storm shook the island of St. Croix. Hamilton wrote a beautiful and moving account of the hurricane, and this led to people raising enough money for him to enroll in King’s College in New York City. 

Louis Manoël de Vegobre:

A Swiss lawyer who met Francis Kinloch and John Laurens while in Geneva. His early life is pretty elusive, as he does not even have a wikipedia page. He was a math teacher, and John Laurens’s math tutor. John Laurens taught him English, and both Kinloch and Laurens seem to have taught Vegobre to love America, as he grew despairing when he heard about the challenges of the war in America. The book, Evolution of a Federalist: William Loughton Smith of Charleston (1758-1812) says of Vegobre, “When the first rumblings reached Europe, de Vegobre wrote Laurens: ‘Poor America!—you cannot believe how much me heart is moved on its account; you, and after you Kinloch have raised in my mind such a concern for your native country! I am as much affected for what happens to it, as if I were an American…. English friends, I will, I will see you in your country, before I die!’”

Vegobre was likely in a romantic relationship with Kinloch. He wrote to John Laurens in December 1774: “Let me tell you what are these pleasures whose you are the first cause.  I began to understand speaken; I read Spectator, Clarissa, Milton and Shakespear, besides some philophical books.  Never, never in my life I have been so well entertained as I am when I read Milton; and why?  First, for Poet’s excellency, and secondly and chiefly because I read it with Kinloch.  My beloved, my dearest friend is Kinloch; how happy am I, when I teach him some part of natural Philosophy, when I read with him both English and French Poets, when I talk with him about various matters plainly and heartily as with a friend!  Let me say again: Kinloch is my beloved, my dearest friend.”

Charles Victor de Bonstetten (Karl Victor von Bonstetten in German):

A writer from Switzerland, he was educated partly in Geneva, where he would develop the liberal beliefs that alarmed his father enough to make him return to Bern, where Bonstetten was born. He introduced the people of the Ticino Valley to potatoes.

He appears to have had a romance with Johannes Von Müller and Thomas Gray (I will be posting about the Gray- Bonstetten relationship very soon)

Johannes Von Müller:

A historian who’s life goal was to compile a giant master history book on Switzerland. He was a teacher of Greek, and later appointed office by Napoleon himself. He wrote many history books, and traveled throughout Europe throughout his life. 

Letter from Müller to Bonstetten: “Any mistakes I may make in the future will be your fault; that is only if you neglect your letter-writing – your friendship can never grow cold – might I let myself be surprised by a passion. Tell me why I love you more as time passes. You are now incessantly in me and around me. My dearest friend, how much better it is to think of you than to live with the others! How is it possible to desecrate a heart that is consecrated to you? I need you more than ever; over and above these immutable, laudable plans for a useful life and an immortal name I have forsworn everything that is considered to be pleasant and delightful – not only pleasure but love, not only revels, but good living, not only greed, but ambition. B. is everything to me, you make all my battles easy and all abstinence sweet. Thus you live in my mind and especially in my heart. You write to me often, but it does not seem enough to me; you often address only the historian, and do not embrace your friend often enough.” 

Thomas Gray:

I stumbled upon this man while researching Bonstetten and Müller. I came upon the book My Dear Boy: Gay Love Letters Through the Centuries. I saw that one of the essays in the book was entitled Thomas Gray & Charles- Victor de Bonstetten. Intrigued, I clicked on the essay, and then from there I somehow managed to find the archive of a full biography of Gray. Thomas Gray was an English poet. He was/is pretty famous, but not super well-known, partially because he did not publish much in his lifetime. Thomas Gray’s childhood was marred with sadness. He had nearly a dozen siblings, but none except him lived past babyhood. He stayed with his mother once he had left his father, who was abusive. He was born in 1716 and died in 1771.

Francis Kinloch: 

John Laurens’s first boyfriend. He was also born in Charleston (then Charles Town) and educated at Eton College. After this he went to Geneva, where he met John Laurens. He later hosted what I call Kinloch’s Gay Retreat, in which he had Johannes Von Müller, Charles Victor de Bonstetten, and Alleyne Fitzherbert, 1st Baron, St. Helens stay with him.

Alleyne Fitzherbert, 1st Baron, St. Helens:

I haven’t been able to find anything gay about him except he was apparently lord of the bedchamber for George III, and find words.info says this about lord of the bedchamber: “A Lord of the Bedchamber's duties consisted of assisting the King with his dressing, waiting on him when he ate in private, guarding access to him in his bedchamber and closet and providing companionship.” So… possible? Maybe, but King George III also had like 20 other Lords of the Bedchamber. Also fun fact: Mt. St. Helens is named after him!

Hope this was informative!

[min-yoongi-o]

Spoiler review

See I liked IT chapter two but its definitely not a perfect movie so I just wanted to write down my thoughts:

Pro's:

The acting for the most part was very good and I believed in the bond between the losers club which formed by the end when they had remembered everything they needed too.

I enjoyed the humor, I know alot of people didn't like it and thought it was a bit much but I think it worked in the context of the characters.

Richie's arc was nice I like how it was portrayed, it wasnt too cheesy or forced. I had alot of worries going in that it would feel shoehorned in and almost pushed down the viewers throat and that it would cause a disconnect with casual viewers but it was sweet and heartbreaking and worked really well.

On that note bill hader did a brilliant job and I'm not surprised at all he deserves more love.

James ransone was amazing also and was really a standout to me, he really was Eddie to me and all his moments were great, definitely deserves the love he's getting.

Isaiah Mustafa hasn't been mentioned enough, he was great as mike. I honestly felt bad for him, this character sacrificed years of his life preparing for pennywise and you can see the toll it taken on him. I was so sad for him at the end and he was trying to explain to the losers they just needed to believe, honestly was so moving and people need to talk about him more.

I feel for the little bit he got to do andy bean killed it as stan and the suicide scene was done tastefully and wasnt made into some huge horror spectacle which I feel like would have taken the seriousness away from it.

I think they handled alot of the more cosmic side of pennywise really well because all the shit from the book was always gonna be hard to translate for film so I feel like the changes they made were good and worked and kept the essence of pennywise and how larger then life he is, and how hes definitely from outside our understanding.

I loved the little homage to the thing when they were in neibolt.

Eddie and richie during the death scene was great, I really enjoyed it and found it very emotional.

I'm glad that they didn't try to bring manturin the turtle into it because I feel like it would have been too much.

I really enjoyed how they made pennywise look in the final battle, I think they pulled it off well and I enjoyed how the deadlights looked.

I liked how the losers were separated in the final battle and all their little individual struggles were great, not gonna lie eddie and richie at the three doors was great.

I enjoyed that they remember each other this time at the end, a pleasant change.

The first scene with adrian mellon and don hagarty was done brilliantly. It was played very realistically and it made you feel disgusted and tense as it should, I honestly had to look away. I'm sure it hit a bit harder being a part of the LGBTQ community.

Cons:

I felt like at points the movie was getting repetitive due to how they laid the scenes out, the whole second act was heres a loser, heres their flashback, heres them now dealing with pennywise...and it does it with each character so it does get a bit long.

I know people are gonna hate me for saying it but I feel like there were too many flashbacks. I've read the book and I know that's the layout but the first movie was strictly the kids so I feel like there should have been less flashbacks, some flashbacks were necessary but others weren't and probably could have been cut.

Henry Bowers felt pointless and I feel like he had scenes cut so maybe in the super cut he'll feel more necessary

Ben, bev and Bill's love triangle was not interesting to watch and I got bored when it came up. I feel like there was to much emphasis on that poem and near the end it just felt like they were really shoving down your throat that they're in love and the poems super important.

Speaking of I found jessica Chastain, james McAvoy and jay Ryan's performances a little lackluster, like their acting was good but it wasnt super engaging but I dont know if that's because the other three shined so much.

I didn't like the cgi on some parts , especially in the mrs Kersh scene, it took away from the moment cause it looked silly, the scene was saved by bill skarsgard tbh.

Favourite scenes:

The jade of the orient scene

Any of the native American flashback scenes because I found the lore interesting and the animation for it looked cool

Richie's whole little mini search for his token was great

Eddie and the leper scene was also brilliant

Mike pleading with the losers about believing and that's why he lied

The little girl victoria under the bleachers

Dean and bill in the funhouse

For some reason I really enjoyed when richie got caught in the deadlights , there was something really cool about it

Eddie and Henry Bowers in the bathroom

Eddie, bill and richie in the kitchen with stans head and the moment afterwards when bill is shouting at eddie

Stans letter

Eddie leaning over richie all excited because he thought he'd killed it and then getting impaled. Eddie and richies faces were just perfect

Eddie's death scene

The quarry scene

Overall I really enjoyed the film even with its flaws although I'm aware some people will probably be disappointed, I think if you're going into this film for just a horror film you wont like it but it's got an interesting story with brilliant characters and I found it a great companion to the first film, and I definitely want to binge both films in one day because I feel like the emotional payoff will be even better.

[devoted-rebel-samren]

Woah hey okay can we back things up a second? Static sister? Static dude? The fuck does that mean? -Will

((This got long and a bit triggering, so is cut :P TW: mentions of day, jinx, and ace’s static bois, them dying, marv accepting the deal he did! Let me know if i missed anything

$ Oh!!! Oh we get to enlighten someone!!!!!! :DDDD Okay, so last time on: Anti’s bullshit! 

$He physically traumatized people, such as Day and Ace and Jinx (in ways that im not gonna say, cause i dont wanna cry and thats not technically my place to share?), and then gave them static to numb that trauma! Well, the statics basically formed separate people! Um, Day’s was Cam, Jinx’s was Lucky’s, Ace’s was Ceph. Cam, Lucky, and Ace are uh.. 

Dead. Anti fucked them up one last time. :))))) 

$ That, so all thats left is Day, Jinx, and Ceph. Ceph owns the property we’re on rn. Make sense? Like, theres more than just those three, i think we had 5 or 6 people that got fucked up specifically like that, and then there was Aria and James? And Daphne, who’s a boatload of fun ive had v little experience with, and Watcher! But those are all different beings that i dont really know about, cause i was “dead” when they were a thing :P 

Dont fucking leave him on a cliffhanger you bitch. 

$ But i wanna :P My story isnt the important bit of all of that??

You get to talk about Kat. 

$ Okay, so anti also corrupted Marvin in a similar way to Day and them, technically speaking, but he didnt become a different static boi, he was just an asshole with enhanced magic ability, so he could heal JJ, cause anti ripped his fucking fingers off. Sparknotes of why Marvin did that shit: He made a deal with anti that he wouldnt kill Chase’s kids, because anti had been threatening them a lot, to the point of hurting them. Sara got her arm broken, Sean went into a fucking coma that night, but they didnt die, so the deal held :)))))  Um, Marv was given free reign, cause he was anti’s bitch, I was being a fucking moron, got some good ol’ hallucinations, went fucking crazy the next day, and turns out Marv was behind all that shit. Homeboy offers me a deal (said it wasnt a deal, it was an “agreement”, yes im still a little salty), that he wouldnt hurt Kat, i accept, basically die, cause static, ya know? 

$ Well then, this bitch (Ren before she was Ren, not Marv) and Nymph reported Kat for rebelling or whatever it was, cause who’da thought that seeing a friend get fucked up for you gets you a little upset, so then Marvin got involved again, there was this big fucking threatening session, and she got her own static boi! We named her Genesis, she got snapped to bring Kat back, and the rest is herstory! :D 

Worth mentioning: most of the static dudes and og people could co-exist, to certain extents, if Anti wasnt a bitch ass motherfucker that killed half of the being, in most cases. I thiiiiiink we’re the last two that got to survive together? Gen and Kat couldn’t, cause Gen was super actually loyal to Anti, and Kat clearly wasnt, at that point. 

$ Ren had a crush on her :)

And you have a crush on Kat.

$ We all know that, i was calling her a snack not 3 hours ago?? ;P 

Fucking- damn you. :P Also worth mentioning: Im not.. that anymore. By about the time Eli and mom got dragging into that fucking mess, i stopped being “loyal”, cause that motherfucker decided to fuck with my family. :) 

$ Did you actually catch all that? XD 

[dweemeister]

2018 Movie Odyssey Awards

And that’s it folks. That’s all the posts they wrote on the 2018 Movie Odyssey. All the films featured here were films that I saw for the first time in their entirety over the last calendar year (the entire list of which you can see here). Except for the Worst Picture category at the bottom, this entire post is a roll call of cinematic excellence. You can’t go wrong with the winners and nominees in these many categories. Submitted for your consumption and reflection...

Best Pictures (I name ten, and never distinguish one above the other nine)

The Blue Angel (1930, Germany)

Charade (1963)

8½ (1963, Italy)

The Heiress (1949)

A Man Escaped (1956, France)

The Philadelphia Story (1940)

Pyaasa (1957, India)

Roma (2018, Mexico)

Shoplifters (2018, Japan)

Stalker (1979, Soviet Union)

This is the first Movie Odyssey Best Picture lineup without an entry from either the 1990s or 2000s. It is the first Best Picture lineup since 2015 without a silent film being among the top ten. But what is not here should detract from the excellence of what is here. There are no 9/10s here... The Blue Angel, Charade, and Pyaasa received 9.5/10s; everything else received a 10/10. From the romantic antics in Charade (as part-spy thriller) and The Philadelphia Story; lust masquerading for love in The Blue Angel and 8½; standing resolutely on one’s own self-worth in The Heiress and Pyaasa; the desperation of A Man Escaped and Stalker; and the modern instant classics of Roma and Shoplifters, this is the best Best Picture slate in the last three years.

Best Comedy

Blondie (1938)

Crazy Rich Asians (2018)

Incredibles 2 (2018)

My Neighbors the Yamadas (1999, Japan)

Overboard (1987)

The Philadelphia Story

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)

Stowaway (1936)

The Whole Town’s Talking (1935)

Wonder Man (1945)

It didn’t make me laugh the hardest (that goes to Incredibles 2 and Spider-Verse), but The Philadelphia Story managed to reaffirm what is most important in loving someone and seeing in others what isn’t necessarily the most visible thing. Cary Grant, Katharine Hepburn, Jimmy Stewart, and Ruth Hussey are an amazing ensemble. Close behind are those two aforementioned animated movies and another animated peer, My Neighbors the Yamadas. The Whole Town’s Talking also was in the mix.

Best Musical

Girl Crazy (1943)

Grease (1978)

Moon Over Miami (1941)

The One and Only, Genuine, Original Family Band (1968)

Pete’s Dragon (1977)

Pyaasa

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (1954)

South Pacific (1958)

A Star Is Born (2018)

Stowaway

This category favors musicals that are original, not adaptations. Seven Brides for Seven Brothers would never be made today, because no one would get the satire for its gendered misbehavior. But with its incredible musical score, outstanding choreography, and appealing performances despite a brow-raising plot, it is by far the best musical I saw this year for the first time. Girl Crazy, Family Band, and Pyaasa would have been next up.

Best Animated Feature

The Cat Returns (2002, Japan)

Incredibles 2

Mary and the Witch’s Flower (2017, Japan)

Mirai (2018, Japan)

My Neighbors the Yamadas

Perfect Blue (1997, Japan)

Pom Poko (1994, Japan)

Ralph Breaks the Internet (2018)

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

The Wacky World of Mother Goose (1967)

There was a lot of separation from the top films and the bottom films in this category. The excellent family comedy My Neighbors the Yamadas sends the late Isao Takahata a winner (its comedy entirely based on Takahata’s strengths in observing human behavior), in what was also the last Ghibli film I needed to see to complete the studio’s filmography. Close behind were Perfect Blue and the best animated feature of 2018, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse.

Best Documentary

The Beatles: Eight Days a Week – The Touring Years (2016)

Don’t Look Back (1967)

Free Solo (2018)

Pick of the Litter (2018)

RBG (2018)

Won’t You Be My Neighbor? (2018)

It was the cinéma vérité of Don’t Look Back versus the emotional power of Won’t You Be My Neighbor? in the end. And at the end, what appealed to me most was the latter. Mr. Rogers was a part of my childhood, and I’m only learning more about him and the lessons he imparted to all his neighbors in my mid-twenties. I never imagined I would be revisiting him now, but here we are! The harrowing (at least, in the final half-hour) Free Solo - dont watch if you’re afraid of heights - was solidly in third in this category.

Best Non-English Language Film

The Blue Angel, Germany

8½, Italy

Floating Weeds (1959), Japan

Gojira (1954), Japan

A Man Escaped, France

My Neighbors the Yamadas, Japan

Pyaasa, India

Roma, Mexico

Shoplifters, Japan

Stalker, Soviet Union

With four entries, this was Japan’s to lose. In what was essentially a toss-up between Federico Fellini and Andrei Tarkovsky, it was the former’s film that will this category for me. I first saw a part of 8½ almost ten years ago now, deleting the recording after realizing there was something about the film that I, as a teenager, could not get. There is only one movie you need to watch, probably, about artist’s block, and that’s 8½. Considered just after that and Stalker are Roma, Pyaasa, and Shoplifters. Gojira - best known to all as Godzilla - was not expected to be here because I once saw the American cut/dub of the film (which cuts a lot of the tragic and allegorical elements). There is no better monster movie than the original Godzilla.

Best Silent Film

Camille (1921)

Caught in a Cabaret (1914 short)

It (1927)

Mabel’s Blunder (1914 short)

Mare Nostrum (1926)

Piccadilly (1929)

Uncle Tom’s Cabin (1927)

West Point (1927)

I honestly did not see enough silent films last year. But that doesn’t take away from how good West Point is - as a drama, a comedy, a romance, and a sports film. Edward Sedgwick’s film juggles a lot of hats, and by sheer charm of its performances, manages to find the right balance. Trailing West Point were Piccadilly and a strong adaptation of Uncle Tom’s Cabin.

Personal Favorite Film

Charade

Christopher Robin (2018)

A Corny Concerto (1943 short)

Gojira

Incredibles 2

The Journey of Natty Gann (1985)

My Neighbors the Yamadas

The Philadelphia Story

The Whole Town’s Talking

Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

1) The Philadelphia Story; 2) Won’t You Be My Neighbor?; 3) The Journey of Natty Gann; 4) Charade; 5) Incredibles 2; 6) My Neighbors the Yamadas; 7) Gojira; 8) The Whole Town’s Talking; 9) Christopher Robin; 10) A Corny Concerto

You folks have no idea how many times my top three switched places while considering this. So much to love about them all. Since I haven’t mentioned Natty Gann yet in my comments, let me do so here. Sometimes, I’m in the mood for a simple, but beautifully shot Disney film out in the wilderness. Meredith Salenger as the title character must make her way from Chicago to Washington state after an unfortunate accident where she is separated from her father. I just adore the nature shots, Natty’s wolfdog companion, and James Horner’s ridiculously beautiful score.

Best Director

Robert Bresson, A Man Escaped

Alfonso Cuarón, Roma

George Cukor, The Philadelphia Story

Stanley Donen, Charade

Guru Dutt, Pyaasa

Federico Fellini, 8½

Hirokazu Koreeda, Shoplifters

Michael Powell, 49th Parallel (1941)

Andrei Tarkovsky, Stalker

William Wyler, The Heiress

A bit of an upset here, but my goodness it takes incredible skill to pull off such social commentary with the amount of artistry Pyaasa does. Ambitious in structure, aesthetic, and thematic approach, it is Guru Dutt who will take this home. Next up would have been Tarkovsky and Fellini.

Best Acting Ensemble

All This, and Heaven Too (1940)

Crossfire (1947)

Cry, the Beloved Country (1951)

The Heiress

Imitation of Life (1934)

A Man for All Seasons (1966)

The Philadelphia Story

The Post (2017)

Shoplifters

Splendor in the Grass (1961)

An excellent set of nominees for Acting Ensemble, with few weak links among them all. They might not be the biggest ensemble, but pretty much everyone is pitch perfect in Imitation of Life - essentially bolstered by its supporting actresses in Louise Beavers and Fredi Washington. The Philadelphia Story in a close second.

Best Actor

Cary Grant, Charade

Emil Jannings, The Blue Angel

Burt Lancaster, Gunfight at the O.K. Corral (1957)

Canada Lee, Cry, the Beloved Country

James B. Lowe, Uncle Tom’s Cabin

Marcello Mastroianni, 8½

Ganjirô Nakamura, Floating Weeds

Sidney Poitier, A Warm December (1973)

Paul Scofield, A Man for All Seasons

Jack Webb, The D.I. (1957)

Paul Scofield, as Sir Thomas More, is a man on a mission - a mission to stop Henry VIII to stop screwing things up even more. Reprising his role from the stage, to me Scofield is clearly the winner as he imbues More with incredible authority yet knowing vulnerability. An astounding, career performance from Scofield is trailed only by Cary Grant and Marcello Mastroianni.

Best Actress

Yalitza Aparicio, Roma

Bette Davis, All This, and Heaven Too

Marlene Dietrich, The Blue Angel

Elsie Fisher, Eighth Grade (2018)

Olivia de Havilland, The Heiress

Audrey Hepburn, Charade

Katharine Hepburn, The Philadelphia Story

Waheeda Rehman, Pyaasa

Anna May Wong, Piccadilly

Natalie Wood, Splendor in the Grass

Olivia de Havilland’s growth throughout The Heiress is downright incredible to watch. How she asserts herself in the final minutes is the culmination of all that has happened up until that point - a film about a woman who finds the strength within herself to state her clearest intentions as pointedly as possible without breaking societal expectations. Just trailing are Yalitza Aparicio (please nominate her for this year’s Academy Awards) and the Hepburns.

Best Supporting Actor

Montgomery Clift, The Heiress

Sam Elliott, A Star Is Born

Rodney A. Grant, Dances with Wolves (1990)

Graham Greene, Dances with Wolves

Bob Odenkirk, The Post

Sidney Poitier, Cry, the Beloved Country

Anthony Quinn, Warlock (1959)

Mickey Rooney, The Black Stallion (1979)

Robert Ryan, Crossfire

Takashi Shimura, Gojira

I don’t know folks, this category seems to like villains. And Robert Ryan’s psychopathic, anti-Semitic murderer is as frightening as a film noir villain can get. Considering what I had seen from Ryan up to this point, there was no preparing me for that. Runners-up include Graham Greene (of Oneida descent), Sidney Poitier, Mickey Rooney, and Takashi Shimura.

Best Supporting Actress

Louise Beavers, Imitation of Life

Stockard Channing, Grease

Wendy Hiller, A Man for All Seasons

Ruth Hussey, The Philadelphia Story

Lesley Manville, Phantom Thread (2017)

Sandra Milo, 8½

Anne Revere, National Velvet (1944)

Millicent Simmonds, A Quiet Place (2018)

Fredi Washington, Imitation of Life

Michelle Yeoh, Crazy Rich Asians

No one could really touch Paul Scofield in Best Actor. Likewise, no one could touch Louise Beavers in Imitation of Life. Yes, Beavers’ role in the film is that of a stereotypical “mammy” at first glance. But looking deeper - and with a major assist from an extremely thoughtful screenplay - Beavers is allowed to give this role so much more than many of her fellow black actresses were ever permitted to have. In a film on racial identity and belonging, she is what makes Imitation of Life tick. The distant challengers were co-star Fredi Washington, Lesley Manville, and Sandra Milo.

Best Adapted Screenplay

Robert Alan Arthur, Warlock

Robert Bolt, A Man for All Seasons

Ruth and Augustus Goetz, The Heiress

Sadayuki Murai, Perfect Blue

Alan Paton and John Howard Lawson, Cry, the Beloved Country

Casey Robinson, All This, and Heaven Too

Donald Ogden Stewart and Waldo Salt, The Philadelphia Story

Arkadi Strugatsky and Boris Strugatsky, Stalker

Jo Swerling and Robert Riskin, The Whole Town’s Talking

Isao Takahata, My Neighbors the Yamadas

Best Original Screenplay

Rodney Ackland and Emeric Pressburger, 49th Parallel

Paul Thomas Anderson, Phantom Thread

Ari Aster, Hereditary (2018)

Robert Bresson, A Man Escaped

Robert Buckner, Dodge City (1939)

Bo Burnham, Eighth Grade

Alfonso Cuarón, Roma

Federico Fellini, Ennio Flaiano, Tullio Pinelli, and Brunello Rondi, 8½

William Inge, Splendor in the Grass

Hirokazu Koreeda, Shoplifters

Best Cinematography

Eduard Tisse, Alexander Nevsky (1938, Soviet Union)

Caleb Deschanel, The Black Stallion

William H. Clothier, Cheyenne Autumn (1964)

Dean Semler, Dances with Wolves

Gianni Di Venanzo, 8½

V.K. Murthy, Pyaasa

Philippe Rousselot, A River Runs Through It (1992)

Alfonso Cuarón, Roma

Alexander Knyazhinsky, Stalker

Nicholas Musuraca, Stranger on the Third Floor (1940)

Best Film Editing

 Paul Crowder, The Beatles: Eight Days a Week – The Touring Years

Robert Dalva, The Black Stallion

Jim Clark, Charade

Leo Catozzo, 8½

Tom Cross, First Man (2018)

Eddie Hamilton, Mission: Impossible – Fallout (2018)

Robert Kern, National Velvet

Harutoshi Ogata, Perfect Blue

Ralph E. Winters, Quo Vadis (1951)

Barbara McLean, The Rains Came (1939)

Best Adaptation or Musical Score

S. D. Burman and Sahir Ludhiyanvi, Pyaasa

Adolph Deutsch and Saul Chaplin, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

Al Kasha, Joel Hirschhorn, and Irwin Kostal, Pete’s Dragon

Alfred Newman, Moon Over Miami

Alfred Newman and Ken Darby, South Pacific

Benj Pasek and Justin Paul, The Greatest Showman (2017)

Walter Scharf, Hans Christian Andersen (1952)

Richard M. Sherman and Robert B. Sherman, The One and Only, Genuine, Original Family Band

Louis Silvers, Stowaway

George Stoll, Girl Crazy

It is one of the few wholly original musicals here. And though its score is not perfect, its highs are some of the best 1950s MGM has to offer.

Best Original Score (eleven nominees because this year’s slate was way too hard to decide on... even the ones I cut)

John Barry, Dances with Wolves

Aaron Copland, The Heiress

James Horner, The Journey of Natty Gann

Akira Ifukube, Gojira

Henry Mancini, Charade

Sergei Prokofiev, Alexander Nevsky

Nino Rota, 8½

Miklós Rózsa, Quo Vadis

Max Steiner, All This, and Heaven Too

Dimitri Tiomkin, The Alamo (1960)

Ralph Vaughan Williams, 49th Parallel

This was the most difficult category to call this year. This was the strongest collection of Best Original Score nominees in a few years, with arguments that could easily be made for John Barry, Akira Ifukube, Nino Rota, Max Steiner, and Dimitri Tiomkin. In the end, it was between the three composers not known for film scores, but their classical music: Aaron Copland, Sergei Prokofiev, and Ralph Vaughan Williams. Prokofiev took third place as I found that the placement of music in Alexander Nevsky paled a bit compared to The Heiress and 49th Parallel. In the end, I went with the Englishman because his distinct sound has never really been replicated for movies, and Vaughan Williams’ works are less available in North America. There are other Copland scores - and some that I feel more strongly about. So in this titanic battle of film score composers, congratulations to Ralph Vaughan Williams!

Best Original Song

“Bless Your Beautiful Hide”, music by Gene de Paul, lyrics by Johnny Mercer, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

“Candle on the Water”, music and lyrics by Al Kasha and Joel Hirschhorn, Pete's Dragon

“Chaar Kadam”, music by Shantanu Moitra, lyrics by Swanand Kirkire, PK (2014, India)

“Charade”, music by Henry Mancini, lyrics by Johnny Mercer, Charade (1963)

“Gunfight at the O.K. Corral”, music by Dimitri Tiomkin, lyrics by Ned Washington, Gunfight at the O.K. Corral

“Love Is a Many-Splendored Thing”, music by Sammy Fain, lyrics by Paul Francis Webster, Love Is a Many-Splendored Thing (1955)

“Mystery of Love”, music and lyrics by Sufjan Stevens, Call Me by Your Name (2017)

“Rain”, music by Shin'ichi Nakajima, Saori Fujisaki, and Satoshi Fukase, lyrics by Saori Fujisaki and Satoshi Fukase, Mary and the Witch’s Flower

“Shallow”, music and lyrics by Mark Ronson, Lady Gaga, Anthony Rossomando, and Andrew Wyatt, A Star Is Born

“You're the One That I Want”, music and lyrics by John Farrar, Grease

Thanks to all those who participated in the preliminary and final rounds! And even those who didn’t participate but gave me the support power through this. Details are here!

Best Costume Design (TIE)

Konstantin Eliseev, Alexander Nevsky

Orry-Kelly, All This, and Heaven Too

Ruth E. Carter, Black Panther (2018)

Mary E. Vogt, Crazy Rich Asians

Sandy Powell, The Favourite (2018)

Edith Head and Gile Steele, The Heiress

Albert Wolsky, The Journey of Natty Gann

Elizabeth Haffenden and Joan Bridge, A Man for All Seasons

Mark Bridges, Phantom Thread

Herschel McCoy and Joan Joseff, Quo Vadis

You couldn’t make me choose, folks!

Best Makeup and Hairstyling

Peter Frampton, Paul Pattison, and Lois Burwell, Braveheart (1995)

Kazuhiro Tsuji, David Malinowski, and Lucy Sibbick, Darkest Hour (2017)

Samantha Denyer, The Favourite

Colin Arthur, The NeverEnding Story (1984)

Uncredited, Piccadilly

Charles E. Parker, Sydney Guilaroff, and Joan Johnstone, Quo Vadis

Uncredited, Rob Roy: The Highland Rogue (1953)

Amanda Knight and Francesca Crowder, Solo (2018)

Geoffrey Rodway and Biddy Chrystal, The Sword and the Rose (1953)

Perc Westmore, Jean Burt Reilly, and Ed Voight, The Woman in White (1948)

Best Production Design

Iosif Shpinel and Nikolai Solovyov, Alexander Nevsky

Peter Ellenshaw, John B. Mansbridge, Robert McCall, Al Roelofs, Frank R. McKelvy, and Roger M. Shook, The Black Hole (1979)

Hannah Beachler and Jay Hart, Black Panther

Otto Hunte, The Blue Angel

Max Rée, Cimarron

Ted Smith, Dodge City

Piero Gherardi, 8½

Edward Carrere and William L. Kuehl, The Fountainhead (1949)

John Meehan, Harry Horner, and Emile Kuri, The Heiress

William A. Horning, Cedric Gibbons, Edward C. Carfagno, and Hugh Hunt, Quo Vadis

Achievement in Visual Effects

The Absent-Minded Professor (1961)

The Black Hole

First Man

Flight of the Navigator (1986)

GoldenEye (1995)

Licence to Kill (1989)

Mare Nostrum

Mission: Impossible – Fallout

The Rains Came

Ready Player One

Solo

The Sword and the Rose

Tron (1982)

Wonder Man

All films in this category are declared winners. It would be unfair to compare a silent film to the newest Mission: Impossible film, so this is based on visual effects achievement in their respective time.

Worst Picture

Cimarron (1931)

The Curse of the Mummy’s Tomb (1964)

Die Another Day (2002)

It Happened at the World’s Fair (1963)

Kiss & Spell (2017, Vietnam)

The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997)

Red Barry (1938 serial)

Rob Roy: The Highland Rogue

Tron

The Wacky World of Mother Goose

Holy mother of hell. Rankin and Bass, what did you DO?

Honorary Awards:

Albert R. Broccoli and Harry Saltzman, for stewarding the James Bond series and decades of entertainment

Peter Ellenshaw, for his esteemed career as a matte artist and visual effects wizard

Bill Gold (posthumously), for his artistry in movie poster design

Salt of the Earth (1954), for its courage to speak truth to power, persevering through the judgment of time despite being the only American film ever blacklisted

Vitaphone, for innovative achievements in sound recording

FILMS WITH MULTIPLE NOMINATIONS (excluding Worst Picture... 61) Ten: 8½

Nine: The Heiress

Eight: Charade; The Philadelphia Story

Seven: Pyaasa

Five: All This, and Heaven Too; The Blue Angel; A Man for All Seasons; My Neighbors the Yamadas; Quo Vadis; Roma; Shoplifters; Stalker

Four: Alexander Nevsky; Cry, the Beloved Country; Dances with Wolves; Gojira; A Man Escaped

Three: The Black Stallion; Crazy Rich Asians; 49th Parallel; Grease; Imitation of Life; Incredibles 2; The Journey of Natty Gann; Perfect Blue; Pete’s Dragon; Phantom Thread; Piccadilly; Seven Brides for Seven Brothers; Splendor in the Grass; A Star Is Born; Stowaway; The Whole Town’s Talking

Two: The Beatles: Eight Days a Week – The Touring Years; The Black Hole; Black Panther; Crossfire; Dodge City; Eighth Grade; The Favourite; First Man; Floating Weeds; Girl Crazy; Gunfight at the O.K. Corral; Mare Nostrum; Mary and the Witch’s Flower; Mission: Impossible – Fallout; Moon Over Miami; National Velvet; Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse; The One and Only, Genuine, Original Family Band; The Post; The Rains Came; Solo; South Pacific; The Sword and the Rose; Uncle Tom’s Cabin; Warlock; Wonder Man; Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

WINNERS (excluding honorary awards and Worst Picture; 41) 3 wins: The Philadelphia Story

2 wins: 8½; The Heiress; Imitation of Life; Mission: Impossible – Fallout; Pyaasa; Seven Brides for Seven Brothers; Shoplifters

1 win: The Absent-Minded Professor; Alexander Nevsky; All This, and Heaven Too; The Black Hole; Black Panther; The Black Stallion; The Blue Angel; Charade; Crossfire; The Favourite; First Man; Flight of the Navigator; 49th Parallel; GoldenEye; Licence to Kill; Love Is a Many-Splendored Thing; A Man Escaped; A Man for All Seasons; Mare Nostrum; My Neighbors the Yamadas; Quo Vadis; The Rains Came; Ready Player One; Roma; Solo; Stalker; The Sword and the Rose; Tron; West Point; Wonder Man; Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

102 films were nominated in 26 categories.

[uniformbravo]

me trying to make a gif part 2 (thrilling finale, buildup ver.)

ok good news and bad news: good news being withheld for Spoilers (not that it’s that hard to guess anyway lol), bad news explained first bc, chronologically, it is first

so yesterday i mentioned in the tags of that post that i had seen that krita has an animation feature so i was gonna try importing the frames into that and then exporting it as a gif. easier said than done, as it turns out

i started by opening the file i made yesterday with 62 layers as the frames and importing that into krita, which worked fine (i didn’t know you could actually open .psd files in clip stuido ((this typo is so fucking stupid it made me laugh so im leaving it)) and krita, so that’s pretty neat, i wonder if it works the other way around too) but i ran into problems when i tried to convert those layers into frames in an animation. because, like, the layout of the program has the layers displayed in one tab, and the animation timeline in another, like so:

(do u like how im using pictures now, i thought of that yesterday after i published the other post and realized hey, visual reference would probably make my plight a lot easier to understand!! so enjoy these educational diagrams from now on)

so my goal was to get the frames from the layers into the timeline, and i still don’t know if i did it right bc lbr krita is not very intuitive at all,,.,, i mean i watched a video tutorial abt how to animate in krita which was v helpful (it’s the one by jesse j james on yt fuckin SHout out) but it was about animating from scratch, not importing an animation you’ve already done elsewhere

so like, the way krita’s animation thing works, from what i could piece together as i bumbled my way around w/ it, is that each layer in the layers tab is a separate timeline in the,,, timeline tab

i want them all to be in the same timeline, not separate ones, and there’s no way to combine them in the timeline tab bc doing that just overwrites whatever layer you’re pasting it down onto, and also if you define the number of frames for that timeline (62 for this project) it just puts the single image of that layer for all of the frames instead of just one of them, so you’d have to go through and delete all the other frames you don’t want it to be, which would be such a fuckin pain

so i found a workaround, which is so tedious that it can’t be the right way to do it, but basically i started w/ layer 1 and defined 62 frames & then emptied frames 2-62, like this

(that blue box is the frame, btw, even tho it says 0, which actually kind of annoys me like why doesn’t it start the first frame on 1????)

from there i went up to layer two and selected that in the timeline, but for some reason the frame doesn’t show up automatically?

& i couldnt fuckin figure out how to make it into like, an Official Timeline Layer or whatever tf bc like, u see on layer 1 how theres that little lightbulb-looking icon on the right? that’s for turning on onion skin which only applies when you actually have frames with things drawn on them, so basically layer 2 in the layers tab has a drawing but in the timeline it doesn’t?

i didn’t find out what the actual reason for this is or how you’re /supposed/ to make the frame appear in the timeline, but what i did was right click on layer 2′s timeline & select “create blank frame” which magically made the frame i want appear

but it’s on top of the layer 1 frame, and i want it to be the frame after. also it’s still in a different timeline. this is the only easy fix in this whole damn process, u can literally just click & drag the frame from layer 2 to layer 1 and put it wherever u want on the timeline

and then u just delete layer 2 and that’s it, frame transferred!! then i just had to do that for 60 more layers and after [unspecified amount of time but it was a fuckin while ok] my timeline looked like this!

(the gaps near the end are held frames, to save me time so i didn’t have to copy a bunch of frames that were exactly the same)

krita is great because as far as i know ur animation can have an unlimited number of frames, at the risk of your own pc’s processing power, which is a definite upside to SOME expensive art programs i know (clip studio, i’m talking abt csp) and u can pick the frame rate too (cough photoshop elements 5.0 even tho u dont technically have an animation feature & it’s a miracle u can even make gifs at all) so once i finally got all the frames situated all nice and in order like on the same timeline, playing it was great! played at the right speed, looped perfectly, it was a dream come true right

well, time to export it as a gif

ha

haha

hoooo oo  o

so u got 2 options for exporting ur animation, u can either hit “export,” which lets u save it as different file types, one of which being gif, or you can hit “render,” which gives you gif and video options

well

i tried export first, bc that seemed like a good idea, but the “””gif””” it made was distinctly not a gif, despite its claim to be one?? this is what i got:

notice: 1. it is not moving, and 2. the black bars to the sides?? those are supposed to be transparent. they’re transparent in the file i made so why didn’t they register as transparent in the export, when gifs have transparency capabilities??

so That was some real live bullshit but i still had the “render” option, right? export was wrong, so rrender must be the correct option to go to that will produce the results i am wanting to see produced in front of me like a silver dinner platter with a correctly functioning gif under the lid, that’s what i want to see and “Render Animation...” is gonna Give me that silver platter righWRONG ok look at this shit rn ok Look

it says GIF it says it RIGHT THERE right??? right?????? then WHY

?????????????

and it also gave me all This bullshit

like did i ask?? did i fucking ask???? i already have all the individual frames why do i need even M o re i mfjgjgk

((rationally ok yea thats v useful for if ur making the animation in krita and want to export the frames to use elsewhere, but like uhhh 1. again, they’re not transparent & 2. i should have the option of saying i don’t want these??? bc *meme voice* i don’t want these)

so in the end i could find NO correct method of exporting animations as a gif in krita bc every ooption that says gif is fuckign LYING to ur face there are NO gifs in krita, aliens made the progam who looked at gifs and went “hmm i thikng this is how a gif works “ and just made jpegs instead but somehow got on the computers good side and got it to lie for them about it being a gif so thats why it says gif on the file still even tho its not a gif illimati confinr

so what is the conclusion to this? well i said there was good news too, and this is the portion where i divulge that sweet nectar (i type dthis 2 seconds ago and @ me what the fuck)

so after wasting a good 2 hours trying to figure out krita i gave up and watched some good old [youtuber name redacted bc what if it shows up in search & ppl see this dumbass post in there but it rhymes with fjackfsepticfeye] to relax into accepting my fate that i’ll never be able to upload my animations to tungle except in poor quality loopless video form, making me into a laughing stock on my own art blog, but THEN i had a stroke of genius, in my Brain

so if u read yesterday’s post u might remember that flipnote studio, the animation program i use on my ds, to animate, has the option to export files as gifs, both animated and sequential (meaning either as one fully animated gif or each individual frame separately), which is super convenient, but as i mentioned yesterday, any time i tried to open the folder with those files on my laptop, it crashed immediately

WELL today i thought “hey, how about instead of opening the folder in the sd card when it’s plugged in, how about i copy that folder from the sd card to my flash drive, and try to open it there, in case it’s the card’s hardware that’s causing the problem, not corrupted files”

so i tried that and it FUCKING WORKED THANK GOD GLORY HALLELUJAH

so now instead of spedning A THOUSAND YEARS trying and failing to force art programs to bend to my will i can just export the animations straight from my ds and drag them onto my computer Just As God Intended oh GOD im so fucking happy

here’s the gif in the end, i’m gonna post it to my art blog too but this is the Green Version bc i animate in green bc of some default settings in flipnote that i got used to, plus it makes me feel like i’m just sketching so nothing really has to be finalized so i’m comfortable while i work, and also it’s just nice ok it’s a Nice Green

(there’s a few frames at the end that are like the extra scraps from while i was working dw i got rid of those in the final version that i’m posting to my art blog later. also i added my blog url to that one too it’s aaaaaall good)

the only downside to this method is that i can’t change the canvas size to be 540px wide to fit with tumbrl s image dimensions but whatever i can just post them in a text post and fix the html to display it at its original size instead of the resizing bullshit tmurbl pulls constantly ugh. anyway it works great on desktop but it’s inevitably gonna look like shit on mobile no matter what i do *Big Ass Shrug*

anyway thats the end of my success story uhh i can’t make the like comment & subscribe joke again bc i already did that in the last post so like bye i guess thanks 4 watchign & have a great day i’ll see u in my next fvideo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYob4uDjEKI&t=0s

(^that’s my outro music)

[koreanboyswriting]

In Translation Pt. 6

In Translation Series: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 

Words: 8.4k

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Fluff/Smut

Warnings: SEVERE FLUFF! Prep your heart.

Jungkook and you have a fun first day in America.

The rest of the flight was uneventful. You woke sporadically throughout the flight, every jostle shaking you out of your slumber. You kept pausing for moments though after this would happen to examine Jungkook. Every time you saw him sleeping you would be reminded of how young he really was. His face was soft and puffy, his skin idol flawless, his big eyes fluttering around as he dreamed. He was such a sound sleeper, the plane would jostle heavily, and he wouldn’t move at all. He must have been tired all the time, constant practice and performances and interviews and recording music, it all made your head spin.

After being jostled awake for the fourth time you gave up on sleep. You pulled Jungkook’s earbud from your ear, the music had long since had stopped playing, and you set yourself up on your laptop, typing quickly before your thoughts floated away. It was a couple hours later, and ten pages down, when Jungkook started to rustle. He twisted to each side in his reclined chair, pulling his blanket up to his chin, before he sighed, and his eyes fluttered open. They opened to slits, and he looked around his face in a frown until he recognized where he was and flopped back into his seat, turning to the side and smiling at you. You looked away from your computer and smiled down at him, blushing. He sighed in contentment and threw his arm out, resting it on your thigh, you looked around hurriedly, but all the members were still fast asleep, sleep masks pulled over their eyes, and blankets pulled up as high as possible. You looked back to him fondly as he closed his eyes again, moving over as far as he could to you, that his seat would allow him. You placed your hand against his velvet cheek, smoothing your finger back and forth. He opened his eyes again, and you leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead, as if you were a couple who had been together forever, greeting each other when you woke.

“I don’t think I could ever get tired of you.” Jungkook whispered, his voice cracking from not being used.

You blushed a darker shade than you thought possible, giving your answer more physically than you ever could verbally.

Jungkook glanced over and saw your open laptop the cursing blinking mid-word. “What are you writing?” He cleared his throat and sat up, pushing the button to un-recline his chair.

“Oh, nothing, just random thoughts, I do this a lot.”

“Oh? Are they about me?” He winked at you, looking at you sensually through his eyes.

You rolled your eyes heavily, and shook your head, “You wish.” You turned back to your computer at his crestfallen face and whispered, “No, there’s a different folder for that.”

Jungkook jumped and straightened his posture completely, “Really? Can I see it?”

You turned to him and laughed, seeing the eagerness on his face, “It’s in English, you wouldn’t understand it.”

“I would learn English right now, just to understand it.”

You started laughing hard, covering your mouth to muffle it, “Ok, pretty boy. That might take a while, why don’t we just focus on getting you to just speak English phrases, okay?”

Jungkook slouched back into his chair, looking at you with discontent in his eyes.

“Oh, stop pouting.” You laughed again, going back to typing on your computer. You got in a few more sentences, before Jungkook started to mess with you.

He snaked his hand around to your lower back, tracing lines up and down your spine, leaving chills in his wake, even though your thick sweater separated his skin from yours. You pretended like he was having no effect over you whatsoever and continued to type away on your computer, even though you had to keep going back to correct your jumbled words. Then, his hand was sliding up your back to your neck, where he started massaging out your kinks with his strong his hands, it felt amazing, but you weren’t giving him the satisfaction of turning around so you continued typing your words, which were not even making sense anymore. Then his other hand joined the first, his body leaning against your left side, you could feel his strong chest through his shirt, and you sucked in a breath, keeping your face still as you exhaled through your nose. You thought you were going to combust when he started pressing kisses into the crook of your neck, his soft lips peppering them up onto your face, as you resolutely looked at your computer, he started moving up the side of your cheek to your forehead, and then he started pressing his lips onto your eyelid and you couldn’t take it anymore. You burst out laughing and he chuckled along too, taking advantage of you finally looking away from your computer to press his lips against yours. You smiled into the kiss and he slid his arms around you, closing the distance between you two, as he combed his fingers through your hair, his other hand caressing the side of your face. It started turning from a smoking fire into a smoldering one, the flames licking up your body, burning both of you deeply. You slid your hands into his hair, clutching on tight, and Jungkook slid his down your body, slipping them just underneath your sweater to grip onto your waist and pull you closer. You teased open his mouth with your tongue and you started to explore him, a delicate dance between the two of you, each of you giving and receiving. Jungkook’s hands started sliding up your body, his hands growing feverish as he gripped at your body, you swept your hands quickly down to his chest grabbing fistfuls of his shirt, when you realized that you were still on a plane with eight other people around you. You broke the kiss leaning your forehead against his, releasing your hands from his shirt, as you both panted heavily.

“We were—,” he breathed out.

“Yeah, we were.”

“Probably need to take a break.”

“Yeah, totally.”

You both panted for a little before breaking out of each other’s embrace and relaxing into your chairs.

You didn’t touch each other for the rest of the flight, afraid you’d each get too heated as before. But being physical didn’t even matter, you felt close to Jungkook by just listening to him talk freely. You felt almost privileged to listen to him as he poured his heart out to you, sharing all his personal thoughts and childhood memories in his soft tenor. He spoke slowly, always taking the time to express his thoughts with care, after a little while you found that most of cherished stories had always centered around people, his parents, or close friends that he spoke about with upmost adoration. You felt like you were touching his heart with how he shared all of it, he presented everything exactly to you. His eyes always latched onto yours unless he was looking up at the ceiling of the plane searching for the correct word, he spoke with his arms outstretched, talking animatedly, his eyes gleaming and sparkling every time he mentioned one of his hyungs. When he finished talking he looked at you expectantly waiting for you to fill in the blanks of your life. You frequently laughed at his attention, as he sat there, his eyes focused on you like lasers. His hands playing with the hem of his jeans as he sat cross-legged in his chair. Before you knew it, you were spilling your deepest secrets because of your attentive audience, you paused though when you got to why you left the U.S, glossing over the name James, and quickly made up how you were contacted by the translating agency you work for. Jungkook looked confused by your sudden change in tone but didn’t press as he watched you glance out the window, hurt in your eyes.

You guys had both fallen asleep again when the pilot’s voice came popping over the intercom, instructing you to fasten your seatbelts for landing. You quickly sat up fastening your seatbelt and reaching over Jungkook to do his, as he glanced around groggily like a lost pup. When you looked up from the buckle you found Namjoon’s eyes on you, you blushed scarlet, and tried to run through explanations in your mind, when Namjoon just winked at you and turned away. Jungkook smiled at you as you turned and stared adamantly at the seat in front of you, suddenly feeling like you were caught doing something you weren’t supposed to, even though all you did was buckle a damn seatbelt. You were snapped out of your reverie by Jungkook lightly stroking your thigh with his hand under the pretense that he was leaning down to tie his shoe, you felt more relaxed than you should’ve after his little touch, but nevertheless your brain slowed down from its internal marathon.

The plane came to a shuddering stop ten minutes later, as you sat in your seat, trying to rail in your nerves, while stretching your jaw at weird angles to pop your ears. Sejin stood from his seat and just nodded at the boys, silently communicating to them something that they had seemed to already know. They all stood in unison, grabbing their designer bags and following each other off the plane, Jungkook brushing your hand as he joined their procession, you following slightly behind with Deok-su, ever menacing, his permanent frown in place. Flashing lights greeted you as soon as you stepped into the airport, by the times your eyes adjusted you realized that your ears were ringing because of the screams that echoed through the high glass ceilings of the airport. You were compressed into the backs of the boys as airport security staff descended from thin air to surround you, looking gruffer than Deok-su and all wearing bright yellow vests, you were all shuffled at break neck speed towards the escalators, the entirety of it cleared for the rock stars you accompanied. They all looked ecstatic, their faces suddenly looked so young as they pulled down their face masks, waving and smiling brightly at the fans that seemed to be everywhere at once. As soon as you were off, the staff descended again, and you were carted through the airport, shoved inside a van before you knew it. You blinked your eyes rapidly, looking around like a dear caught in headlights as the boys all laughed, their eyes bright and faces fresh as if they had just got off a rollercoaster and wanted to go again.

“Wow, I don’t know how you guys do that all the time!”

“Ha! You get used to it, it’s like a rush.” Yoongi looked back at you, his smile stretched wide across his face.

“I can’t believe there was so many people there!” Tae exclaimed, his eyes wide.

“Hell, I’m not surprised, my brother talked about you guys all the time, I knew he couldn’t be the only one.” Jin laughed loudly, hunching over, clutching his stomach, the rest of the boys joining in at his high-pitched squeal. You shook your head back and forth at the children in front of you. Then the trunk was suddenly slammed closed your suitcases all piled in, and you were off, speeding onto the freeway, only this time when you looked in the rearview mirror, your eyes weren’t met by the soft gaze you were used to, and you suddenly felt like you left something behind.

You flopped onto your bed, the silence deafening against your ringing ears. You sighed deeply, throwing your arm over your face, already feeling tired from the chaos at the airport. You were just about to get up and strip out of your clothes and put on sweats that didn’t smell like little kids and crisp business suits, when the boys came banging into your room, the adjoining door seeming more like an entrance than a divider. Jimin, Tae, and Jungkook came bouncing into the room flopping onto your bed, Jungkook basically covering your entire body with his. Then followed Namjoon and Hoseok, both throwing themselves onto the vacant queen bed next to yours, Jin, and Yoongi coming in last and leaning against the wall looking around at their members as if they were all a bunch of unruly children. Jungkook was pretending that he had no control over his body and was using all of his weight to bury you under him, his arms and legs starfish-ed out over your body. They all laughed at you as you struggled to remove your torso from underneath him, your laughs mixing in with your short breaths as you wiggled your body around at different angles, finally giving up when your chest was just beyond his arm, huffing loudly. Jimin was laughing the hardest repeatedly smacking Jungkook's arm as he wheezed.

"You guys know there's a door there for a reason, right?"

"Yeah, so that we can come in and bother you!" Tae chuckled the others joining in.

"Um, no. It's because I compromised to this. C'mon guys aren’t you tired of me? I need a certain level of privacy." You gave them all your best pouty face, Jungkook finally relenting, at your pursed lips, as he rolled off your body and on to Jimin, your lungs finally able to expand at full capacity again.

"I'm actually not tired of you yet, plus we have to spend our free time in this hotel room, we need entertainment," Hoseok whined.

"You guys aren’t allowed to leave?" You asked, your eyes wide with shock.

"WE, aren't allowed to leave," Namjoon emphasized, twirling his finger around in circle to encompass you as well.

"Well, that's lame, how are you guys going to come to America, and then not even experience it?"

"Well, we'll get to adventure a little bit the rest of the week, but this is essentially work, and we're not allowed to leave on our own." Jin shrugged his shoulders after he said this, his posture showing defeat, as this seemed to be a fact they had accepted a long time ago.

"Well, I'm determined to make this fun then," you pushed yourself off the bed and wandered around your rooms.

The boys' rooms were all a series of adjacent rooms connected by doors like the one into yours, it was almost like you were walking a long hallway in between them all, when you found the lounge area that was a part of Namjoon and Jin's room. You found some office supplies and tore small pieces of paper from one sheet and put everyone's names on the slips paper and walked back to your room where the boys still sat looking at you with confusion on their faces. You walked into your closet, unzipped your suitcase, and snatched one of your beanies out of the bag kicking the closet door closed with your foot. You threw the tiny slips of paper into the hat and stood in front of them, next to Yoongi and Jin who were still leaning on the wall.

"Ok. So, I have an idea, let's play hide and seek." The boys all looked at you with expressions, like, “is she really serious?”

You raised up your finger, signaling them to pause before passing judgement. "But, with a twist, we'll be playing in teams! And whoever wins I'll sneak out and go get you whatever food you want." You smirked at them after adding this, and they all immediately got competitive gleams in their eyes. You laughed and held up a finger again as they all started moving around trying to communicate with each other about whose team they wanted to be on.

"I'm going to pull two names out of the hat, and they'll be team captains and they'll choose the rest of their team from the hat, okay?"

Jungkook and Tae nodded eagerly, as Jin and Yoongi moved from the wall and joined Namjoon and Hoseok on the bed, laughter already bubbling to the surface.

You reached into the hat and pulled out two slips of paper, bouncing your eyebrows quickly, at the boys' serious faces, causing a few of them to laugh and the others to roll their eyes. You took an extra long time opening the slips of paper, going really slowly until Tae yelled at you to hurry up, making you jump at the sudden outburst. You laughed as you picked up the dropped slips from the floor and unfolded them to find the oldest and the youngest names on the papers, you called out Jin and Jungkook, the rivalry already beginning. Jin being goofy, mimicking that he had his eyes on Jungkook signaling with his two fingers back and forth from his eyes, before picking out a name first. Jimin jumped up excited as soon as Jin called out his name, bouncing over to his side looking all smug. You chuckled and walked over to Jungkook, who lightly brushed your hand as he slid into the hat to grab a slip, causing shivers to dance up and down your spine. He called out Tae's name and he slid from the bed, flicking the underside of Jungkook's chin, and crossing his arms, already staring down Jin and Jimin. You walked back over to Jin and he plucked Hoseok's name from the hat, followed by Jungkook picking Yoongi, Jin picking you, finally leaving Namjoon to join Jungkook's team.

"Ok. So, Jin and Jungkook, you guys play rock, paper, scissors; whoever loses has to hide first. I guess whoever takes the longest to find everyone will lose, so you want to find everyone on the other team the fastest."

The boys all nodded, Jin and Jungkook moving closer together, glaring each other up and down as they raised their hands and chanted out the melody, both of them screaming as they threw out the same hand signs, until finally after the fourth try Jungkook won to excited cheers from Namjoon, Tae and Yoongi.

"Ok we get a hundred seconds to hide, and then you come find us, no cheating!"

You ran with Jimin, Jin, and Hoseok out of the room, you guys bumping into each other, as you ran around trying to find places to hide while trying to muffle your giggles. You signed to them to spread out and they nodded, you and Hoseok running the farthest all the way to the last two bedrooms before high fiving and splitting up to hide. You crawled half-way under the bed but then realized it would be hard to move around once you were caught so you crawled back out, now looking around the room in panic as you could hear Jungkook counting out seventy-eight. You ran towards the closet, pushing aside the hung clothes and ducking behind them covering up your legs and feet with the suitcase which was pushed against the wall. You held your breath as you heard Jungkook call out a hundred. You sat there and cursed yourself for literally having the least creative hiding spot ever but resigned yourself to the fact that you would be going out and getting the food anyway, so it didn't really matter.

You held your breath and stood straight as a board your back pushed against the wall, as you tried to make yourself small. Your whole-body was tense as you heard the boys laughing and bouncing around the rooms. It was five minutes before one of them got to the room you were in. You perked up your ears, trying to listen for any signal that would tell you who was poking around the room. You could hear the rustle as they got down onto their knees to look under the bed, the blankets rustling as they pulled them up to look around better. You exhaled a bit of air from your nose, trying to keep your breathing quiet as possible, as the unknown detective moved about the room.

Suddenly, he was checking the doors in the room, you heard him open up the door to the bathroom right next to the closet, doors opening and closing in there as he made noise all around the bathroom. Then the door was clicking closed and he opened the French doors to the closet, you tried to sink your body into the wall, your eyes screwed shut. You could feel the fabric of the suitcase scratch your legs as it was moved out of the way your legs and socked feet now exposed, the doors were swiftly clicked closed, the light that was pressing against your closed eyelids now gone, you opened your eyes blinking them quickly to adjust against the darkness, as the clothes on hangers were shoved to the side, leaving a pleased looking Jungkook standing in front of you. You didn’t have time to react as he smashed his lips against yours, roving his hands down your body till he was cupping your ass, squeezing it sensually in his strong hands. You moaned into the kiss, throwing your arms around his neck, moving your body against his own. It seemed as though you had no self-control for the man you were wrapped around. Anytime he so much as looked in your direction your heart was floating, and whenever he slightly touched you, you were quivering, his touch scorching your skin, leaving you an inferno of agitation, pleading for release. Jungkook lifted you up by your ass, pushing himself into you harder, your spine smarting against the stiff wall as you wrapped your legs around Jungkook. You couldn’t seem to get close enough, your bodies were pressed against each other so tight, but it wasn’t enough. You wanted his skin on yours, you wanted to touch every part of him, just to make sure that he was real, the heat between you, dizzying you into a dream. Your hands scratched at his back his black t-shirt bunched in your hands, as your kisses became hungrier and messier, neither of you caring about where you were just lost in each other. You tugged lightly on Jungkook’s lip, biting down just hard enough to be slightly painful, he grunted in response, grinding his erection against your crotch, his jeans rubbing harshly against your entrance, you arched your back, your neck exposed as you bit down on your lip, sighing. Jungkook took that as an invitation and began, sucking harshly on your neck, leaving sloppy kisses down to your chest. He removed his left hand from your ass, pushing you harder against the wall to make up for it, as he tugged your shirt free from your pants where it was tucked. He hiked it up over your bra, looking up at you with lust in his eyes at the site of your lacy undergarments, he pulled it down slightly, your breast coming free as he sucked on your nipple, licking and biting onto your breast, your whole body writhing in anticipation, as snuck his hands down your pants. Brushing his fingers against your clothed core, he started rubbing his fingers against your clit, building up speed, as you bit down on your lip harshly to keep from moaning out. You just loosed a quiet sigh, when your bubble popped to the sound of Jungkook’s name being called. You both froze, the flame between you doused by reality.

“Jungkook-ah? Where are you?”

Tae’s voice rang out as he passed through the room. Jungkook removed his hand from your pants and pulled your bra up over your breast again and put you back on your feet. You hurriedly adjusted your bra, and shoved your shirt back into your pants, finger-combing your hair quickly as you nodded to Jungkook. He ran his fingers through his hair as he looked down at you through his lashes muttering, “sorry” sheepishly.

You smiled your cheeks heated as you whispered, “I’m not.”

Jungkook’s face filled with mischief as he grabbed you roughly by the hips, pulling you into his body and pressing his lips against yours harshly, and quickly. He turned and poked his head out the door before opening it fully and pulling you out by your hand your brain still dizzy and turning as you blinked in the sudden light. Jungkook closed the door behind you quietly, before tiptoeing over to the bathroom door and opening it and closing it loudly.

“I found her!” He shouted out, pulling you with him by the wrist towards the main lounge area.

Tae came bouncing out of the farthest room as he joined everyone in the lounge, “That makes it seven minutes and twenty-three seconds. Beat that.” Tae raised his eyes in challenge towards Jin’s team.

“Oh, we’ll get you. Just wait.” Jin winked at Tae.

“What happened to you guys?” Namjoon looked at you, his eyes glinting, as he smirked and looked you guys up and down.

“What? Nothing.” You said a little too quickly.

“She wouldn’t come easily, I had to wrestle her out of her hiding spot.” Jungkook chuckled, his face not even twitching, as he lied.

“Where exactly were you hiding, y/n?” Yoongi asked, his face contorted in confusion.

“Uhm,” You paused, trying to think quickly, “In the linen closet in the bathroom.” You nodded your head along with your lie.

Yoongi nodded his head along, your lie bought.

“Well our turn now?” You asked clapping your hands together, as you moved from Jungkook’s side to join your team. You fluttered your hands telling the boys run off, as you began counting with Jin, Hoseok, and Jimin.

As you called out one hundred, you pounded fists with the boys and ran off in where you knew Jungkook would be. Sure enough, as you ran into the second to last room, and opened the closet Jungkook was standing there smirking, not even bothering to hide himself by the clothes as he tugged you in, the door clicking behind you. This time Jungkook’s back was against the wall, as you moved your hands down his body, sliding your hands quickly into his pants to cup his erection, as Jungkook grunted. You trailed sloppy kisses down his neck, tugging on his ear with your teeth, Jungkook shivering under your touch as you massaged his balls in your hand agonizingly slowly. You slid your other hand down his arm, feeling his biceps, and his smooth skin, you were about to get lost again, as Jungkook grabbed your chin, pulling your face up to meet his, as he kissed you, his tongue exploring inside your mouth. You tugged on his lower lip again, breaking the kiss, as you moved your lips to his ear, whispering.

“Sorry babe, but I want to win.” You pecked him quickly on the lips and removed your hands from his pants as you threw the doors open, shouting.

“I found him!” You shouted, smirking back at a Jungkook’s shocked face.

Jimin came running into room, and high-fived you as you stood there pleased with yourself.

“That makes us finished at six minutes and three seconds! We win!” Jimin shouted out, hugging Hoseok as he came into the room. Jungkook finally moved from the closet, tugging at the crotch of his pants as you all left the room to decide on what food you wanted.

Of course, the boys wanted true American food, so when you snuck out of the hotel room, you had a list of everything they wanted on the burgers, clutched in your hand. Deok-su was in the lobby with a group of other bodyguards all looking menacing as they stood around different points of the lobby. You panicked and quickly hopped in line with a bellhop as he pushed a luggage cart stacked high with a matching luggage set. You smiled at him as you walked right behind the cart, blocking you from Deok-su’s sight. You ducked out the automatic doors as you passed them, hailing a cab before it drove off.

When you arrived at In-and-Out, you asked the cabbie to take you through the drive-thru, and you prattled off all their long orders, making sure to ask for a large of everything to satisfy their huge appetites. After ten minutes the food was stacked in several bags at your feet and you were back on the freeway speeding towards the hotel, you gave the cabbie a generous tip, and he smiled at you warmly as you dipped from the car, rushing towards the stairs, climbing to the second floor before getting on the elevator and riding all the way up to the top floor that BTS and their entourage occupied. You nudged open the door to the boys excited cries, they all swarmed you as you set down the food on the table, thanking you as they munched on their food, contentment spread across their faces at the greasy burgers.

You shook your head rolling your eyes at how easily they were satisfied. Jungkook looked up and caught your gaze, winking, your breath hitching in your throat, you grabbed your food and told the guys you needed some alone time, and ducked into your room, this time clicking the lock into place on your door.

You had long since finished your food and were on your third episode of law and order when someone knocked on your door, very softly, almost as if they were scared to approach. You threw off your covers, and wiggled out of bed, just now realizing that the sun had gone down and that lights were winking into existence outside your bedroom window. You opened the door to a shy Jungkook, he was wearing sweat pants and a thin white t-shirt, scratching the back of his neck in anxiousness. You chuckled at his uneasy manner, for once he was the one anxious, and you were the one with your smirk on your face, the roles reversed.

“Where are the other boys?” You whispered.

“Mostly asleep.”

You opened your door wider at his response, signaling him to come in. He walked into the room and immediately made his way over to your window, standing in front of the floor-to-ceiling glass. His hands were hanging easily in pockets, and you could see the muscles shifting in his back as he rolled his shoulders and stretched his neck on each side. The lights from the city were silhouetting his body, making his form into shadowy art, his stillness that of a statue. You stood there admiring him in your fuzzy high socks, and oversized men’s button up. Suddenly feeling so small, compared to the lean sculpted man in front you. His form was beginning to blend into the art of the skyline, when he turned towards you a lazy smile on his face.

“I could look at this view all day,” He whispered, assuming that if he had said it too loud and would vanish.

“Same here,” You whispered back, looking only at him. His eyes warmed as he looked at you, closing the space between you and wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you into a hug and spinning you around, as you laughed onto his shoulder. You were back by the window again after he had spun you around a dizzying amount of times, before he set you down. You wrapped your arms around his middle, snuggling your head onto his shoulder as traced circles on your back, twirling the ends of your hair in this other hand, both of your gazes fixed out beyond the window. Gradually, Jungkook started tracing circles lower and lower on your back till he was lifting up the hem of your sleep shirt, your entire body heating up again, just from the simplest touch. Your hands began to bunch the fabric of his thin white shirt as he slipped his hands inside your silk underwear to massage your ass. He was kneading your skin just hard enough to arouse you, and it was taking all your self-control to not rip his shirt of his body, but you wanted to savor this, you wanted to savor him, so you let him control the pace.

He pushed down on your underwear bending down as he slowly pulled it down your legs, goosebumps arising at his touch. Once he had them down by your feet, you lifted up each one, Jungkook tossing the small piece of fabric across the floor. He was kneeling at your feet now, and he began trailing kisses up your legs, his strong hands still on your ass, massaging, the heat between your legs becoming almost unbearable. Suddenly, Jungkook was unbuttoning the bottom of your shirt working his way up, till you were naked in front of him, the shirt falling off your shoulders and pooling on the ground.

“You are so beautiful, y/n.”

You flushed at his words, the intimacy of the moment leaving you more than naked, all your defenses down. It was almost as if he could see your heart pumping in your chest, because he was holding it in his hands, whether you relinquished it or not. You had never felt so cherished, the man in your past had left you feeling broken, but here you were standing in front of man, who was on his knees for you, making you feel like the most precious person in the world, and there was no way you could turn back now. Jungkook would forever be a part of you now, no matter how hard you resisted. His name was tattooed in your being.

Jungkook began kissing your core, whispering against your skin how beautiful you are, as he consumed you. His soft kissing turning faster, and messier as he licked your heat, leaving you breathless. He moved his right hand from your ass, and began teasing your clit, the sensation combined with his tongue sending you over the edge, your body was just about to release, when Jungkook stopped, moving from his knees to take your mouth, kissing you harshly as he lifted you up and threw you on the bed. He took of his socks and kneeled before you. You leaned up on your knees to meet him and grabbed him roughly by his shirt and laughing before you melded your lips to his. Jungkook’s hands were all over your body, and you wanted nothing more than to feel his skin on yours. You untangled your hands from his shirt and slid them down his chest, grabbing the bottom of his shirt and pulling it quickly over his head. His muscled chest turning you on even further, you were about to pull him in for a kiss again, when Jungkook pushed you down onto the mattress, his eyes getting a dangerous lustful gleam. He snaked down on top of you grabbing your wrists roughly and pinning them above your head as he kissed you, taking charge of your body. You moaned into his mouth, trying to grind your crotch against his for some relief. Jungkook bit down on your lip hard in retaliation, causing you to cry out.

“Shh.. Baby don’t be too loud, or I’ll have to punish you.”

“Punish me?” You responded back, surprise lacing your voice.

“Oh, you don’t believe me?”

You tried to open your mouth to respond, but Jungkook grabbed your roughly by your hips and flipped you over, pulling you up by your hips, so your ass was against him. 

“Jungkook, wha—.”

You were cut off by Jungkook slapping your ass hard. You almost yelped out, but you stifled your voice in the pillow in front of you.

“Do you doubt me now, y/n?”

“No.” You replied meekly.

“No, what?”

You furrowed your eyebrows, as you thought quickly.

“No, Jungkook…” You trailed off, wondering if that was what he was looking for.

He nodded gruffly in response, his dominance turning you into a puddle of need. He leaned down over you again, his erection pushing into your ass, as he kissed and nipped down your back, pushing your chest down with his hand, as he grinded into you from behind.

“Ugh, Jungkook, please. Stop teasing.”

“Stop what?” Jungkook whispered, you could feel the smirk forming on his face. 

“Don’t make me say it again. Jungkook please.”

He slid his hand down your spine in response, smacking your ass again right where he did before the pain feeling good this time, you moaned out in pleasure.

“Oh, you like it when I spank you?”

“Yes,” You breathed out, not wanting to say it too loudly.

Jungkook chuckled, and slid his fingers down to your heat, massaging your clit lightly, building you up again, his fingers moving faster and faster, your brain becoming fuzzy as you lost yourself in the sensation. Jungkook slapped your ass again, right on top of the red mark from before, making you moan out again. He then slowly inserted his fingers into you, moving steadily, he inserted another finger, picking up his speed, as he tortured your nipple with his other hand. Rolling it between his fingers as pressed sloppy kisses on your back. You closed your eyes, sighing softly. As Jungkook began rolling his clothed hips into your ass, his erection, rubbing against you at all the right spots. You gasped, as he rolled into you harder increasing the speed of his fingers as he pumped them inside you, you could feel yourself about let go, when Jungkook stopped for the second time, groaning loudly, as he removed his fingers, flipping you over again and pressing his lips against yours. You took advantage of being on your back again and dug your fingers down Jungkook’s back, causing him to moan on your lips. You slipped your hands under his sweatpants and boxers and slid them just down his legs, this time massaging his ass in your hands, Jungkook grinding his hips forward into yours.

You wanted to set him over the edge, he was too calm, and it was infuriating, as you felt like you were the only one struggling here. You started to get rougher with him, scratching his back and grinding your crotch onto his while kneading his ass harder. His breaths turned shallow, and his kisses sloppier until you slid your other hand down and cupped him softly, pumping up and down his shaft, Jungkook’s breath hitched in his chest, and he moved his lips to where your neck met your shoulder biting down hard, you gasped and grinded into him harder.

“Ugh, dammit I wanted you to beg and now I am!” Jungkook grunted out as he leaned back and pulled down his sweatpants farther and thrust into you without warning.

You moaned loudly, Jungkook silencing you with sloppy kisses, as he slowly moved his hips. His rhythm was slow and easy as he consumed you, marking your body with his lips, the markers flaring bright on your pale skin.

“You are so beautiful.” Jungkook whispered onto your skin, this time you were starting to believe it.

He began moving into you harder, increasing his rhythm as you gripped onto his shoulders, your fingers digging into his muscles.

“Jungkook-ah, faster please!” You gasped out.

Jungkook grunted as he picked up the pace, his body entirely over your own, his muscled arms, supporting his body, were planted on either side of your shoulders, trapping you underneath him. His thrusts became sloppier as he tired, and you grinded into him to make-up for it, as both of you were heated and wanting more of each other. He bit down onto your shoulder again, the scent, and feel of him taking over you.

“Y/n,” He breathed as pounded into you, both of you climaxing around each other, your body spent, yet energized at the same time as Jungkook, laid down on top of you.

His forehead was sweaty, his bangs sticking to his flawless skin as he panted against your chest, his arms wrapped around you, holding onto you, so you wouldn’t vanish like the last time. You brushed his hair away from his face, caressing his face lightly, Jungkook sighed in contentment, at the brush of your fingers, snuggling his head into your chest, as you chuckled lightly. You couldn’t remember the last time you felt so fond of someone else. Jungkook felt as if he was made for you, and you didn’t know how you lasted this long without him. His arms wrapped around you felt like the only thing you needed. And you never wanted to be without him now. Jungkook propped himself up on his elbows, and slid out of you, the complete fullness you felt now gone. He pecked you on the lips and rolled off of you, so that he was lying next to you, as he pulled you into his embrace, you settling your head onto his chest. He ran his fingers through your hair, placing a soft kiss onto your head.

“Jungkook, I feel like there’s something I need to tell you.”

“What is it baby?” He pressed another kiss onto your forehead, pulling the blanket on the end of the bed around both of you, pulling you closer into his embrace.

“I never told you why I left America right?” You whispered out, surprised at yourself for even beginning to open up.

“No, you haven’t, well not the truthful answer. Is that what you want to tell me?” Jungkook resumed running his fingers through your hair as he said this.

“Yeah, let me just get this all out before you say anything, okay?” You could feel Jungkook nod his head on top of yours, so you breathed in and out, trying to settle your racing heart before you spoke.

“In elementary school I had this friend, his name was James, and he was the coolest kid I had ever met. He was one of the few that never teased me, and always played with me whenever I was alone on the playground. As we grew up we quickly became each other’s best friends, we lived a street apart, and we would ride our bikes to each other’s houses every day after school, he was the only person I ever trusted, and I cared about him deeply. When we got to middle school, I noticed that James started to do things differently around me, he would be rude to me in front of his guy friends, and he started making fun of how I wore my hair in braids, and I didn’t understand why. One day he threw a paper ball at me in class, and I asked him to stop, but he wouldn’t, and he kept throwing more and more and more, and when I turned to tell him to stop again, one hit me in the eye, and I ran home crying. He came to my house later that day and apologized profusely, and when I asked him why he was being mean to me, he said that he didn’t know how to handle his feelings for me and that being mean to me was his way of trying to get rid of them, but it only made him like me more. I had my first kiss that night and we were inseparable after. We dated all four years of high school and when we graduated he gave me a promise ring. A year later he replaced it with an engagement ring and I was ecstatic. And I know we were pretty young, but I had been with him all my life, and there was literally no one else I wanted to be with, so it didn’t matter if we got married then or in five years because he was the only thing that mattered to me. We had been planning our wedding for about a year, when things started to become strange, suddenly James didn’t want to have a big wedding anymore, even after we booked a venue. Then he didn’t want to have a wedding at all and suggested that we elope in a courtroom. Then I found him in bed with my maid of honor, who was also my cousin. I broke off the engagement then, throwing my ring at his head, and I haven’t seen him since. He moved out of our apartment, but nothing was the same I couldn’t go anywhere without being reminded of him. And I couldn’t even look at my cousin at family events, because she was still with him! After a couple months I couldn’t take it anymore and I sold most of my stuff and moved here, one of the farthest places I could go, thinking it would feel like home, but it hasn’t until I met you.”

A tear escaped your eye as you finished, and you turned away from Jungkook rubbing roughly at your eyes. Jungkook didn’t let you escape though and he pulled your back into his chest wrapping you up in his arms, as he peppered your face with kisses until you laughed. 

“Listen, I would never do that to you. And as far as I’m concerned, James is an asshole who didn’t appreciate what he had when he had it. And I don’t intend on repeating his mistakes. I’m not going anywhere y/n, not now, not ever.”

You turned towards him as he finished, new tears shining in your eyes as you looked at him. He brushed them away with his thumb and pressed his lips softly against each of your eyelids. You pressed your head into his chest as he cuddled you closer, your broken heart for once feeling full again.

You laid like that for a couple hours, just being in the presence of each other, as Jungkook whisper-sang little melodies into your ear. Each of you pressing light kisses onto each other until the kisses turned fervent and you each sought release in each other’s skin.

After the second time, you pushed Jungkook away slightly, and stood from the bed.

“We are never going to stop, until one of us gets up, so I guess that’ll have to be me.” You laughed as you stood on the side of the bed.

Jungkook groaned and slid over to you, sitting on the edge of the bed his hands reaching out for you. “C’mon don’t leave me, I’m cold and lonely,” He pouted at you.

“Oh, whatever,” You rolled your eyes in response, making to turn away when Jungkook grabbed you by your wrist and pulled you into his arms, pressing kisses onto your chest and breasts, easily turning you into a puddle again, you looked over at the clock as you tried to push your way out of a laughing Jungkook’s arms, and saw that it was only nine o’clock.

You stilled and looked down at the surprised Jungkook and whispered mischievously, “Why don’t we sneak out of here?”

Jungkook raised his eyebrows at you, a smirk forming on his face, “I’m in.”

He stood from the bed and pressed a hungry kiss against your lips, before he grabbed his sweatpants from the floor and slipped them on, winking at you as he left the room. Your whole body shivered, and you had to shake yourself out of your daydream to go put clothes on. You rummaged through your suitcase, deciding on a flowy wrap dress, you tied the lavender bow on the side and walked into the bathroom, to reassemble your face. The curls in your hair still lingered, so you swept it up into a loose chignon, and swept easy make up onto your face, grabbing your purse and heels as you tiptoed out of your room, to find a pajama clad Namjoon standing in front of the open refrigerator. You froze, there was nowhere else to run, as Namjoon closed the fridge and looked at you with a smirk on your face, just as you were about to come up with a lie, Jungkook came into the lounge area, his shoes in his hand. Your cheeks heated as Namjoon looked at both of you, with laughter in his eyes.

“HA! I knew it! Jimin, and I had a bet going, looks like I won.” He laughed, Jungkook’s scared face turning into relief at his hyung’s laughter.

“Don’t get in trouble with Deok-su when you sneak out, Sejin will get all lecture-y and I know you don’t want that. Have fun kiddos.” Namjoon said, as he grabbed a banana from the counter, slapping Jungkook on the back as he went through the door that Jungkook had just exited.

You looked at each other sheepishly, as you closed the distance between you. Jungkook pressed a kiss against your cheek, before he stood back to look at you.

“Wow, you’re seriously the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

You blushed, looking down at the floor before meeting his eyes again, “Well you don’t look so bad yourself, handsome.”

Jungkook in fact looked his fantastic, oozing his usual casual elegance, his leather jacket thrown over his white button up which was tucked into his black jeans. He bent down and put on his black boots, tying up the laces quickly, before opening the door for you. You winked at him as you both exited.

Once you made it down to the lobby, you each poked your heads out of the elevator, looking around anxiously. The ten bodyguards you had seen earlier had diminished down to three, including Deok-su, who was looking especially tired as he leaned against a marble pillar, his eyelids drooping. The other two were too busy playing rock, paper, scissors, to notice you guys rushing towards the exit, your heels clacking against the marble. You jumped into the first cab you saw, telling him to step on it, as you guys laughed loudly in the back, Jungkook clutching his stomach as his laughter turned high-pitched. After a minute you told the driver to take you both to what he considered the best local restaurant, he nodded his head, smiling, and dropped you off outside of a cozy looking restaurant, the exterior all worn wood, iron, and warm lighting. Jungkook opened your door and entwined his fingers with yours as the driver left. You smiled at each other, and Jungkook pressed a kiss onto your forehead. You felt so normal, here with him, it was as if you were just going out to dinner with your boyfriend on a breezy winter night, all of your responsibilities, and his obligations floating away with the wind.

You were both so wrapped up in each other, that you didn’t realize your picture was being taken as you walked towards the restaurant.

[sulietsexual]

Its been a while since I asked you meta related things so I just had a random idea - top 5 characters which you just dont understand, top 5 ch which are well writen but you cant connect or like, top 5 ch storylines you would like to alter, top 5 traits of your disliked chracters that you like, top 5 traits of your loved characters you dislike, top 5 ways your disliked characters contributed to the main storyline that youre fine with. For males and females separately so theres room for thought :)

Top 5 Characters I Don’t Understand

Male

Wesley Wyndam Pryce - okay, so this is only from mid-Season 3 onward, but I cannot fathom Wesley’s actions in stealing Connor, consulting with Holtz and doubting/not believing in Angel to the point where he didn’t realise that Angel would do everything in his power to protect Connor. Then his self-righteous attitude post-kidnap is appalling, the fact that he acts like the wronged party and refuses to acknowledge his own wrongdoings and never apologises for his actions all drive me crazy. Just can’t.

Luke Danes, I mean, buddy, pull it together. You say you want Lorelai, yet never make a move and then bitch about her boyfriends and act like a jerk. You say you’re “all in” and then you run at the first sign of trouble and make Lorelai feel like she did something wrong. You tell Lorelai you want her to be honest with you and then you hide your daughter from her for two freakin’ months. You say you want to spend your life with her, yet you shut her out of it. Like, wtf??

Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III, omg, why is he such an abusive asshole? Why does he treat every woman he’s with like crap? Why does he treat Mellie as if she’s insignificant and stupid? Why does he act entitled to everyone’s time and affections? Why does he continually try to give up the most powerful position in America? Why doesn’t he have any ambition? Why does he resent anyone who does??? I don’t understand.

John Winchester. Dude’s always going on about how he “did the best that he could”. Nope. The best he could would have been to raise his boys in a stable freakin’ environment, not push adult responsibility onto his eldest, not treat his youngest like an outcast/freak for wanting a better life and actually being an adult and being there for his boys. How does he justify the way he treated his sons? Don’t get it.

Finn Collins. Dude, you cheat on your girlfriend, neglect to tell the girl you’re cheating with that you even have a girlfriend, don’t tell your girlfriend you cheated on her and expect both girls to still want you? Plus the whole massacring eighteen unarmed people and then ignoring their bodies as the girl you want walks in horrified and look at her as if she’ll love you for your actions? Yikes.

Female

Lorelai Gilmore, she constantly puts her mother down for her privilege and sense of entitlement, yet displays the exact same behaviour. She rejected Chris, then bitches about how he “wasn’t ready”. She thinks all her behaviour is cute but it’s actually really annoying. And she honestly seems to believe that her parents were the absolute worst parents in the world, when it reality they were really good to her and always try to be a part of her life. Pull it together, woman!

Octavia Blake, why does she blame her brother for everything? Why is her solution always violence? Why does she proudly cannibalize people? Why does she think she knows more about a culture she’s been a part of for two seconds than the people actually raised in said culture? 

Nancy Wheeler. Why does she want Jonathan so badly? Why does she screw over Steve? What makes her neglect her brother and run off with the guy she just banged? Why doesn’t she think through the consequences of her actions? Why did she offer her brother zero comfort when his friend “died”? What made her think it was okay to chase down Jonathan while he was picking out a coffin for his brother’s funeral to talk about Barb? Girl drives me bonkers.

Joey Potter, so many of her actions make no sense. She pines after Dawson for years and then breaks up with him for literally no reason. She blames him for telling her the truth about her father, after repeatedly saying they need to be honest with one another. She can’t decide between two guys for years. She constantly rejects Pacey yet picks him in the end. She believes she’s entitled to be a bitch to people just because she’s had a tough life.

Aria Montgomery, if your creepy-ass relationship really so important to you that you would lie to your friends and family, threaten your parents, risk your partner going to jail, threaten to walk out on your family and basically cease to exist outside of your boyfriend? Yikes.

Going to put the rest under the cut, otherwise we’re going to end up with a post a mile long.

Top 5 Characters Who Are Well-writen But I Can’t Connect To or Like

Male

John Locke, a great-written character who drives me up the wall with his over-zealousness and delusions of grandeur.

Spike, he really does have a great character arc and characterisation but his over-exposure and the fandom’s adulation of him drive me crazy, plus I hate how his narrative overtakes Buffy’s.

Jack Shepherd, such a great arc, such an amazing journey but his douchey behaviour and the way he treats certain characters means I just can’t like him.

Perry Cox, I find him amusing and do occasionally like him but his lack of self-awareness and overall mean attitude and sexism bugs me.

Dean Winchester, so well-written with a great arc but also abusive, violent, self-righteous, sexist and overall annoying as hell.

Female

Regina Mills, her redemption arc is sloppy but her characterisation was always strong and she’s a fantastic villain, which is why I love to hate her.

Robin Scherbatsky, very well-written with a great arc (until the finale) but I just cannot like her, probably due to her arrogance and meanness.

Rachel Green, now, I don’t hate Rachel or anything but she’s one of my least-favourite Friends characters and I’ve never been able to connect with her.

Katniss Everdeen, a great-written character whose personality I find very hard to reconcile and who I just cannot connect with.

Kate Austin, great arc, great characterisation, full of traits I can’t stand and makes choices that make me want to throttle her.

Top 5 Characters Storylines I Would Like To Alter

Male

Neal Cassidy, he was done so dirty by that damn show!

August Booth, another one screwed over by OUAT and there was so much left to explore with his character!

Dean Forrester, I really hate how much Gilmore Girls dumbled down and assassinated his character.

Boyd Langton, Dollhouse’s weird out-of-nowhere reveal that he was the bad guy completely changed his character and he didn’t deserve that.

Jake Ballard, he deserves better than being second-choice for Olivia Pope.

Female

Laurel Lance, who deserved the fucking world and got nothing, I would change so much about her storyline and eventual fate.

Mellie Grant who, like Laurel, deserved so much and got shit.

Emma Swan, who was character assassinated in order to box her into a toxic ship which decimated everything about her.

Juliet Burke, who should have lived and had a happy life and finally made it off that damn Island!

Effy Stonem, who deserved better than to be sandwiched between two guys who treated her like a prize and blamed her for their rivalry, not to mention the shitty “friends” who used her as their scapegoat.

Top 5 Traits Of My Disliked Characters That I Like (I’m not going to pick my absolute most disliked characters for this, but just 5 characters I dislike in general. Also, probably can’t come up with five for each, so I’ll go with as many as I can list).

Male

Going with Wesley again - love his intelligence, his surprising confidence when he allows himself to show it, his thirst for knowledge and his goofiness.

Spike - I like his bravado, his confidence and his loyalty.

Dean Winchester - similarly to Spike, his bravado, his loyalty and his confidence, as well as his humour and love of fun.

Luke Danes - I like that he’s good at the big gestures, I like his snark and his homebody nature.

Jess Mariano - I like intelligence, his snark and the fact that he sorts himself out later on in life.

Female

Anya Jenkins - love her work ethic and the fact that she handles money well and knows how to budget, save and invest.

Betty Cooper - she’s got gumption, I’ll give her that and she is intelligent and hardworking.

Felicity Smoak - like Betty, she’s intelligent and has gumption.

Cassie from the Animorphs series - she’s compassionate and does try to understand people, which I like.She also has a lot of empathy.

Alison DiLaurentis - she is ruthless and strategic and highly intelligent, all of which I admire, even if her actions are truly sociopathic.

Top 5 Traits Of My Loved Characters I Dislike (again, this may not reach five but I’ll do my best)

Male

Angel - his tendency to make decisions for others, his jealousy, the way he can completely cut off those he cares about.

James Ford - the way he lets his self-hatred affect others, his self-centredness, the way he can be deliberately cruel at times.

August Booth - he lies way too much, his self-hatred, his selfishness.

Neal Cassidy ………….. nope, I love Neal too much, can’t think of any traits I dislike.

Charles Gunn - the way he diminishes himself for others.

Female

Prue Halliwell - that damn pride, her self-righteousness, her judgmental streak.

Juliet Burke ……………. nope, as with Neal, love her way too much to dislike anything about her.

Lana Lang - her Mary Sue traits (this lies more on the writing of her character than her), her tendency to project her own feelings onto others.

Lilah Morgan - well, she’s an evil bitch, but you’re supposed to hate her for that, so I more hate her actions than her herself, such as when she gives Cordy the visions which almost kill her or when she sends people to drill into Lorn’s head.

Jo March - her lack of propriety at times, her judgemental streak, her refusal to adhere to convention (at times)

Top 5 Ways My Disliked Characters Contributed To The Main Storyline That I’m Fine With (I am running out of steam and not sure if I can come up with 5 males and 5 females, so gonna combine them for this last one and again might not make it to Top 5)

Alison DiLaurentis - I like her as a villain, her murder kicks off the whole series which worked well, and I liked that she works as a foil for all the girls, in particular Hanna and Mona.

Spike - love him as a villain in Season 2, love that he works as a foil for Angel in AtS Season 5, liked him stirring things up in Lovers Walk in Season 3.

Regina Mills - love her as a villain, love her as the Curse Caster, liked her dynamic with Emma, liked her as a foil for Snow and Emma.

……. I actually might be out, as usually when I hate a character it’s because of the way in which they negatively impact the storyline.

Whew, I’m knackered. Hope you enjoy my answers, even if they’re not 100% what you asked for!

[padawanlost]

is that canon though? (i get confused as what are canon and not anymore) i want to start these books but i dont have much time, maybe one day. im curious to the new leia book i think happens before a new hope by claudia gray?

No. AnakinSolo and Leia healing, learning about Shmi and forgiving her father are notcanon anymore.

But can Igive you some free advice? Don’t worry about canon. Star Wars has such a richuniverse that you can be selective about you consume and still have fun withquality stories/products. Both Canon and Legends have good books andnot-so-good books (it’s all a matter of taste). If you decide to read onlycanon stuff or only legends stuff you’ll me missing out on some really coolstuff.

In my case,I HAVE to mix up the two up because so far Disney has completely ignored thePrequels. There is like one single new canon book set before Revenge of theSith. For example, Matthew Stover’s novelization of ROTS, which is in my opinionone of the greatest prequel-era books ever written, it’s no longer canon. So,if I’d only care for canon, I’d be missing out on this heartbreaking book and I’dhave NOTHING to replace it because nothing else has been written. If you’reinterested in the OT/PT characters, go read Legends and don’t worry it’s notcanon anymore.

Sorry, I don’tknow anything about the new Leia book. To be completely honest, I only readbooks not set during the Prequel Era when they have cameos or mentions of Anakin,Obi-wan or Padmé :P

Btw, here’sa tip to separate Legends from Canon: all the books below are Canon. If aStar Wars book is not on this list than it’s Legends :)

Catalyst: ARogue One Novel by James Luceno

Rogue One:A Star Wars Story (novelization) by Alexander Freed

DarkDisciple by Christie Golden

Ahsoka byE. K. Johnston

Lords ofthe Sith by Paul S. Kemp

Tarkin byJames Luceno

RebelRising by Beth Revis  

A New Dawnby John Jackson Miller

Lost Starsby Claudia Gray  

Battlefront:Twilight Company by Alexander Freed  

Thrawn byTimothy Zahn

Guardiansof the Whills by Greg Rucka

Rogue One:A Star Wars Story by Alexander Freed

Heir to theJedi by Kevin Hearne

BattlefrontII: Inferno Squad by Christie Golden

Aftermathby Chuck Wendig

Aftermath:Life Debt by Chuck Wendig

Aftermath:Empire's End' by Chuck Wendig

Bloodlineby Claudia Gray

Star Wars:The Force Awakens by Alan Dean Foster

[leftmyurlinmyotherpants]

GUYS I SAW BANDSTAND

okay so i saw bandstand today (8/26) and it was so good. i bought my ticket at the box office and it was perfect because it was the seat i was looking at online last night but i didnt want to spend an extra $30 in service fees (which is bullshit but i digress) and i sat down and overheard a girl talking to her dad about laura osnes being able to work with two jack kellys and (somehow) i was like “you right though, she gets to work with them while i spend all my money trying to see one” and we got into conversation (her name is ashley and shes precious) and it was awesome and we both freaked out during the show (the lighting was so good, coming from my light tech standpoint) and we kept freaking out because corey cott did the thing™ and REMEMBERED ALL HIS LINES WHICH WAS AMAZING (but he was also rarely in the light which sorta pissed me off but it was fine) and we collectively fell in love with the guy who plays the drummer, joe carroll and it was awesome. then we went and stagedoored and we both started shaking because UM OBVIOUSLY and then right before the first person came out, some random ass container of protein powder fell out of the sky and bonked ashley on her head and then people started coming out and we got signatures and stuff and it was sick. 

now a little backstory. before my mom passed, i got into newsies, which was great and she was supportive of my choice of musicals and i showed her the different jack kellys and she pointed at corey cott and she was like “he looks like he has a good voice” and i found audio and played it for her and she loved it, so whenever she was in a good mood, i would play the newsies soundtrack and she sorta really loved the line “someday becomes somehow” from seize the day and she would always tell me that if she were to get another tattoo, she’d get that done. now as i mentioned, she passed and loved corey cott so when he came out, i asked him to write it on the “AT THIS PERFORMANCE” sheet that came with the playbill and according to ashley, his eyes went really wide and the BIGGEST smile came onto his face and he wrote it on the sheet and i started crying and it was great and as he was walking back to go back into the theater, he smiled at me and i almost lost it, it was great. my plan is to get that tattooed at some point as a tribute to what she would have done if she were able to so yeah.

then a few more people came out and signed our playbills and stuff (theres gonna be pictures at the end of this post and yeah). then afterward we walked across the street to just experience the DEH stagedoor from afar and that was fun, i crab-walked across the street because i thought i saw mike faist through the window that he waves at corey from so that was an interesting sight. then after experiencing the stagedoor (not really participating but she got a picture of colton ryan so that as nice) we started chatting and since she and her dad had time to kill before seeing come from away, we walked to schmakary’s, her first time there and she loved it. 

then IT™ happened.

so i was just observing and i must’ve felt a disturbance in the force or something and i yelled “HAT” while staring at the cross walk, apparently lowkey recognizing someone. GUESS WHO I FUCKIN SAW WHEN I YELLED HAT?

MIKE FUCKING FAIST. 

so i was like “hat crossing the street” to ashley and miKE FUCKIN LOOKED AT ME AND WE MADE EYE CONTACT AND RAISED EYEBROWS AT EACH OTHER AND I JUST ABOUT FUCKIN LOST IT YOU DONT UNDERSTAND AND I WAS SO HAPPY AND IT WAS GREAT AND WE WERE LIKE “FUCK TAHT JUST HAPPEND”

and then i told her my famous story of when i realized i probably am either VERY stupid or i have some minor form of prosopagnosia (face-blindness) and when i ran into ben platt TWICE IN A FUCKING ROW and didnt realize it until like twenty minutes after it happened (if you want, ill write a whole separate story on that, let me know please) and she started freaking out and it was hilarious. it was an adventure. 

then i walked her back to w45th and we sat and waited for come from away to let them in and it was awesome and we kinda just hung out and talked and shes awesome. and yeah 

so that was my day.

im still shaking

and also gonna cry 

again

but its all good because happy tears :) 

ALSO PICTURES 

when i bought the ticket ^

the stereotypical broadway show picture^

“someday becomes somehow” from corey (his handwriting is so nice) ^

playbill + signatures (yes its on my bed, dont judge me) ^

corey looking shaken, rattled and rolled and VERY confused, i think thats his listening face, i cant tell but yeah ^

james nathan hopkins (i think) looking slightly uncomfortable but still precious ^

brandon j. ellis when ashley told him that she was concerned with how he holds his bass ^

[yaboyspodcastpalace]

@soaringsearingphoenix

I want to hear the opinions

Ask And You Shall Receive, here are tani's arbitrary music & music habit headcanons:

Sasha: as previously mentioned, i do like the hc that she likes metal. Shes not really a dancer and much less a singer, so she mostly uses it as background music when she's working at home. Something Strong to the ear to drown out any distracting noise but that she can nod her head along, she puts soad’s entire discography and the day goes flying as she does her stuff

Tim: this man likes to move! Likes to Dance! Likes to sing gibberish until theres a lyric he knows and then sings it! I like the idea of him liking pop (specially, like, MIKA) and catchy stuff, most classic 80' pop and some rock as well, something Energetic. That being said, he does Not listen to music that much, because he cant quite concentrate on reading when theres that music on

Martin: kinda erratic but id say mostly indie, and vintage-y stuff as well, but I gotta point out two things: he reads lyrics and Will listen anything if he Connects w/ the lyrics, and would also listen anything to fill in the silence as long as it got a nice melody u_u

Jon: everybody thinks his music taste consist on classical music but that’s because he sometimes puts it when he’s working, like sasha (and martin) he likes having something playing as he reads, but his actual Taste is much specific. And ok this might be super arbitrary bc im basing myself in the fact that he acts statements out (FUCK the eye he’d still act them out a bit w/o evil gods influencing him) so hes like Dramatic on that regard, a theatre kid at heart, I think he’d listen to Dramatic stuff, with Feeling on the singer’s voice and the instrumentation, and by which i mean mephistopheles’ return and the like. Nobody knows though bc he only listens that when he’s alone

-Tim and Sasha’s tastes aren’t really compatible, but they compromise. The first time tim heard sehnsucht playing through her phone he was like “Sasha James you never stop surprising me...”, also once tim fully acted grace kelly and she found it hilarious

-while not his fave, Jon can perfectly be with Tim or Sasha with their music on, since while wildy different the beat is still energetic but the voice not strong enough to distract him. He does not like most of Martin’s taste in music though

-since it certainly fills the silence Martin likes it everytime Sasha puts some music, and Tim takes advantage of him liking 80′ music to put abba’s entire discography AND mamma mia’s soundtrack. Sometimes he gets him to badly sing a duet with him, with luck 

-once tim discovered the dreadnoughts he listened nothing but them for a few weeks

-im positive martin would like the hush sound bc its both depressive and full of love

-also mitski and stuff, idk i dont know much of that but im sure he’d love it

-back when they were together jon and georgie used to listen rhapsody of fire together (georgie.... likes............powermetal....catch her listening to dragonforce...)

-nightwish........ jon and sasha bonding over nightwish, i think that would be nice :)

-disclaimer i love music, i dont know Shit about it on a technical sense nor genres

-i spent 6 hours on this post, also i found this band + song and they’re cool

3: 40 am i cant sleep and i cant stop thinking abt music headcanons for the og crew (based of course on stuff i know) which.... i wont write Now bc i Do intent to fall asleep at some point, but Boy do i have some opinions abt soad!sasha and tim and martin singing take a chance on me by abba together