#jake from hawthorne's farm

[jakefromhawthornesfarm]

We’re farming Caretaker over on twitch, you should come hang

[jakefromhawthornesfarm]

Okay so I don't want to make it an argument but almost all of these aren't comparable to Cayde coming back (with the exception of Nightmares because until proven otherwise I don't think this is actually Cayde resurrected, I think it's the Traveler version of Nightmares)

Nokris - Hive, Not a guardian

Taniks - Actually died

Kelgorath - has been brought back by Xivu Arath every time. Also Hive, also not a guardian

Mara Sov - Died in the same way powerful Hive do in which she retreated to her throne world. Not a guardian

Fikrul - Has resurrection abilities because Riven tainted the ether in his body with Uldren's darkness. Not a guardian, is the only strike I think we canonically re-do.

Taniks - revived by SIVA, not a guardian.

Kelgorath - Xivu Arath. Still not a guardian

Scorn - yes, zombies, but created by a Wish Dragon initially and now being created by the Witness.

Nightmares - not guardians, not actual people being resurrected, just what they are called. Nightmares. Visions.

Taniks - revived, not resurrected, by Atraks. Survived the crash landing by grafting himself to a heavy shank. Is still alive at the end of DSC (evident by his laugh if you stand in the pile of his body and die to the fire). Is LITERALLY called a "quasi-immortal cyborg Eliksni" on Destinypedia

Kelgorath - Still Xivu Arath, still not a guardian

Zulmak - We don't even fight the original Zulmak, he was killed by the hive and his essence was stolen away by Savathun. Where we fight him on the moon is because the Hive Wizards are sacrificing nightmares to pull their essence into the big crystal (that shatters when we kill him) to perform a Hive Ritual to resurrect him. Again, like the previous mentions, this is hive Magic, not a guardian being resurrected without a ghost.

In this vein: the first fireteam to run a strike/Dungeon/Raid is the canon team to go in and do it. I.E. World's First is the Canon fireteam to complete every raid and dungeon and the rest of us are going in on a simulation based on their ghosts projection of the events. We don't canonically go in there several times to kill them. The only exception to this is Shattered Throne which comes back because of the curse on the Dreaming City

I get being frustrated by the Cayde reveal for narrative reasons but let's not delude ourselves into thinking that it's unprecedented for someone to be resurrected without a Ghost:

Nokris's ENTIRE THING was necromancy.

Taniks.

Kelgorath.

Mara Sov was Actually™ Dead™ for years.

Canonically, we have killed Firkul hundreds, if not thousands, of times in The Hollowed Lair.

Taniks again.

Kelgorath, also again.

Speaking of the Scorn, they're literally zombies.

The Lunar Pyramid was able to create Nightmares, specters capable of mimicking their subject's personality and behavior exactly.

Taniks a third time.

Kelgorath, also a third time.

Zulmak and the Pit of Heresy, also something that's happened more than once in the canon.

I could keep going but you get the point.

[falloutdialogue]

Finch Farm Ambient Dialogue

Abigail: Abraham Finch, just how big do you plan to let that junk pile of yours get? Abraham: Woman, I must've told you a dozen times by now, if it gets too big, I'll start a new pile down by the razorgrain patch. Abigail: That's what you said last year, when your pile was half that big. What I want to know is, how big is too big? Because I'm thinking it's too big already. Abraham: Fine, fine. I'll get to moving it when my day ain't filled from sun-up to sun-down with all the other work that goes on around here. Abigail: Oh, why do I even bother.

Abigail: I found that busted-up old radio you gave Jake for his twelfth birthday. Took me an hour to stop crying over it. Abraham: Oh, Abbey...  Abigail: How could we let it happen? How could we fail our own son so completely? Abraham: We did the best we could by him, but Jake was a grown man and he made his decision. I know it's hard, but we can't go on blaming ourselves. Abigail: I just don't see how I'll ever be able to forgive myself. Abraham: I know, Abbey. I know.

Abigail: Are my eyes playing tricks on me, or did that scrap heap of yours get about ten pieces of junk larger since last week? Abraham: What uh... what makes you think that, sweetheart? Abigail: Don't you play coy with me, husband. There ain't been any traders by here with that much scrap, not lately. How many times have I told you about sneakin' around in that salvage yard at night? If those gunners catch you stealin' their metal, you know what they'll do. Abraham: You've got nothing to worry about, Abbey. Even if they do spot me, they couldn't catch me. I'm just too smart for 'em. Abigail: One of these days, you're going to find out that you aren't half as clever as you think you are. When that happens, it's ain't just going to be you that suffers, it's going to be all of us. Abraham: That's enough, now. I haven't been caught yet, and I ain't going to be. That should be good enough for you.

Abigail: One of these days, we need to find you a good woman, Daniel. Daniel: Even if I had time for something like that, which I don't, who'd be interested? The women of the Commonwealth ain't exactly lining up to be farmer's wives. Abigail: Then you need a farm girl. There's plenty out there, you know. That Abernathy girl is nice enough, even if her mother's a witch. And there's that girl at Warwick... What's her name? Joanie? Daniel: Janey. And she's too young for me. And Lucy Abernathy's only got eyes for Hawthorne in Diamond City. Abigail: Well don't you worry, son. There's someone out there for you. Daniel: You're the one who's worried. I can't think past all the weeds I got to pull.

Abraham: Where'd you put those fusion cells I set out the other day? Abigail: I put them back in your junk pile, dear. You know the rule. Anything that ain't on the workbench is fair game when I'm cleaning. Abraham: Well couldn't you have asked me first, woman? I had to dig around in that pile for two hours straight to find those damn things! Abigail: Really? If I had to stop and ask about every piece of scrap you left laying around, I'd need a week just to tidy up the house! That's why we made that rule in the first place. And I might remind you, Abraham Lowell Finch, that you agreed to it! Abraham: Alright, alright! I get the point, woman. Abigail: Hmph. I'll believe it when I see it.

Daniel: We got enough caps to get me a new pair of boots? Abigail: Why? The ones you got on don't look so bad. I'm sure they've got another couple of months on 'em at least. Daniel: Easy for you to say, you ain't wearin' 'em. The soles are coming off. Sometimes they flap so bad when I walk, it sounds like someone's clapping at me. Abigail: Well maybe they're just showin' their appreciation for all the hard work you do. Daniel: That's very funny, but I'm being serious here. I might as well go barefoot for all the trouble these things cause me. Abigail: Well, I'll see what we've got. It ain't much, but it might be enough. Daniel: That's all I need to hear.

Abraham: Keep a watch to the east while you're working today, son. I saw something down by the waterline. Looked big, too. Daniel: Mirelurk. Got to be. They've been getting closer lately. Probably scoping us out. Abraham: Well, they get too close, they're going to get a taste of hot lead. Daniel: Yes sir.

Daniel: We got an extra shovel anywhere in the scrap? Abraham: Pretty sure we do, yeah. Daniel: Know where it is? Abraham: [amused] Not a clue. Daniel: Doesn't it ever occur to you that all this junk isn't doing us any good if we can't find something when we need it? Abraham: You just need to dig around a little. It's there somewhere. Daniel: Yeah... I think it'd be faster to shovel dirt with my hands.

Daniel: There's something I've been wanting to ask you. Jake: Yeah, well, I've kind of been expecting that. Go on, then. Daniel: Why'd you do it? Why'd you turn your back on us. on your family? Jake: I guess it was because I was angry. I was angry at this life, at the idea that I might never amount to anything more than just a farmer scraping by. I blamed dad, for that and a lot of other things. It was wrong. I know that now, and I'm sorry. Daniel: Yeah, well, don't expect everything to be the same as it was. I can't forget what you did. None of us can. Jake: I know. One way or another, I'll earn your trust again. I swear it. Daniel: Yeah, well... we'll see.

[fmsplrs]

Chaos Mode

A hypothetical workout mix for myself, a guy who does not work out.

PART 1:

Yes - Owner Of A Lonely Heart

Fatboy Slim - Right Here Right Now

The Clash - This Is Radio Clash

Black Kids - I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You

Korn - Got The Life

The Crystal Method - Busy Child

Soulwax - Teachers

Silversun Pickups - Lazy Eye

Sophie - Vyzee

The Rapture - House Of Jealous Lovers

Carly Rae Jepsen - This Kiss

Phil Collins - Easy Lover

Incubus - Vitamin

The Cars - Just What I Needed

Nine Inch Nails - The Perfect Drug

...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead - Mistakes & Regrets

Death From Above 1979 - Romantic Rights

Stereolab - French Disko

Static-X - Push It

Bloc Party - Banquet

Blondie - Hanging On The Telephone

Method Man - Judgement Day

White Zombie - Thunder Kiss 65

M83 - Midnight City

Annie Lennox - Walking On Broken Glass

The Dandy Warhols - Not If You Were The Last Junkie On Earth

Tom Petty - American Girl

Nsync - Pop

Orbital - Chime

LMFAO - I'm In Miami Bitch

Animal Collective - My Girls

Alien Ant Farm - Movies

Pretty Girls Make Graves - Speakers Push The Air

Touche Amore - Sesame

The Faint - Worked Up So Sexual

Elastica - Stutter

The Walkmen - The Rat

KMFDM - A Drug Against War

Two Shell - Home

Broken Social Scene - Do The 95

Aphex Twin - Come To Daddy

Sonic Youth - Purr

Brooklyn Bounce - Get Ready To Bounce

Alice Deejay - Better Off Alone

Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Date With The Night

Skrillex - Scary Monsters And Nice Sprites

Gigi D'Agonstino - L'Amour Toujours

Radiohead - Idioteque

Blink 182 - Feeling This

Hawthorne Heights - Ohio Is For Lovers

Elton John - I'm Still Standing

General Public - Tenderness

TV On The Radio - Wolf Like Me

PART 2:

Foo Fighters - Everlong

Joe Jackson - Steppin Out

Mclusky - To Hell With Good Intentions

Rod Stewart - Young Turks

Japandroids - The House That Heaven Built

Slipknot - Wait And Bleed

Bartees Strange - Boomer

The Libertines - Up The Bracket

Less Than Jake - All My Best Friends Are Metalheads

Hoobastank - Crawling In The Dark

Squarepusher - Come On My Selector

Playahitty - 1 2 3 Train With Me

Cap'n Jazz - Little League

Them - Baby Please Don't Go

Sublime - Same In The End

Jimmy Eat World - Sweetness

Linkin Park - Faint

Hole - Celebrity Skin

Stars - Ageless Beauty

The Hives - Main Offender

Glenn Frey - The Heat Is On

Algernon Cadwallader - Some Kind Of Cadwallader

Nirvana - Very Ape

Wire - Mannequin

Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons - The Night

Q And Not U - So Many Animal Calls

Ministry - Stigmata

Billy Talent - Try Honesty

Girls - Lust For Life

Andrew WK - She Is Beautiful

The Strokes - Hard To Explain

Abe Vigoda - Crush

Aphex Twin - 4

Rancid - Time Bomb

Coheed & Cambria - A Favor House Atlantic

Taking Back Sunday - MakeDamnSure

Underworld - Moaner

Rustie - After Light

Quad City DJs - Come N Ride It (The Train)

AG Cook - Beautiful

Liars - Mr Your On Fire Mr

Interpol - PDA

Britney Spears - Toxic

Phoenix - 1901

The Breeders - Divine Hammer

Lifter Puller - Secret Santa Cruz

The Modern Lovers - Roadrunner

The Killers - When You Were Young

Luscious Jackson - Naked Eye

Kelly Clarkson - Since U Been Gone

System Of A Down - Sugar

Justin Bieber - Baby

Paul McCartney - Temporary Secretary

Sweet Female Attitude - Flowers

Fall Out Boy - A Little Less Sixteen Candles A Little More Touch Me

The Beatles - And Your Bird Can Sing

The Chemical Brothers - Elektrobank

Pixies - Debaser

[birth-fic-lover]

by EllynWayland

WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS MATURE CONTENTS SUCH AS GRAPHIC CHILDBIRTH AND SEXUAL INTERCOURSE! READ WITH CAUTION!

It was an early morning at the Hawthorn household. The steep hills outside their farm were covered by mist, barely recognizable in the distance. Hannah loved living in the countryside, with miles and miles of nature around, no neighbors and no hectic. She and her husband had given up well paid jobs in the city, for the sake of raising their children on a farm. Jake did not mind driving to work a little longer, since he had always dreamed of a home like the one they had found here. His new job was maybe a little different from hi

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[jakefromhawthornesfarm]

[jakefromhawthornesfarm]

I apparently have a spot in my nerdy little lore heart that is a member of the Eris Morn Defense Squad

[jakefromhawthornesfarm]

Fear the PVP Sweat loadout

Bonus I’m almost rank 11:

[jakefromhawthornesfarm]

Need a Sherpa for a raid, dungeon, GM, or seasonal activity? I’ve even had someone request a Comp Crucible Sherpa. We stream every Wed/Thur from daily reset until dinner time. Come check us out.

[jakefromhawthornesfarm]

This song hits that nice nice itch in my brain

[jakefromhawthornesfarm]

Time to see what kind of Destiny 2 shit I can find on tumblr

[jakefromhawthornesfarm]

I had a video pop off on TikTok recently about people wanting me to rate their RaidReport.. Is that something people here might be interested in?

[jakefromhawthornesfarm]

I picked up some new fashion for Jake. I've already used 9/10 transmog mats for hunter this season

[jakefromhawthornesfarm]

Hjello! My name is Mau5 and I make the Jake from Hawthorne’s Farm/Destiny Dadjokes on TikTok.

My current schedule is a bit wackadoo but if you’re needing assistance with anything Destiny-related I live-stream Sherpa help on Wednesday/Thursday all day starting at noon central over at twitch.tv/themightymau5 and if you’re wanting more Jake content you can get that over at TikTok.com/themightymau5 or scan the QR here

I look forward to hanging out with you on stream or helping you get those pinnacle activities finished before Lightfall!