#jaeobeom imagines

[suhfleur]

dear, my dear • jaebeom (intro - 1/?)

• pairing: soulmate!jaebeom x reader

• genre: romance, angst, smut

• warnings: cursing, sexual content

• word count: 1.6k

summary: in a world where a touch can lock the doors of the heart, his voice opened the doors to your soul as he filled it with joy.

a/n: i wanted to do something emotional. So here it is.

•••

Maybe it was something about the weather that made your day start different. The sun was shining so bright it almost hurt your eyes, the few clouds in a sky toned in a shade of blue so intense thay it was as if the sun was willing to give a great gift to those who saw it. A happy scenario.

As you looked up at the sky, as soon as you left your home, you could feel re-energized, ready to face another day full of emotional challenges. At least so far you feel you could make it.

The vibration in your phone made your heart beat faster, anxiously waiting for that message to come from the one that didn't come out of your head.

New message from def.

[06:40] def: Good morning, sunshine. Ready to conquer the world today? :)

You grinned, letting out a slight laugh through your lips. How could someone you have never seen in your life have so much power over your feelings?

[06:41] loftv: I'm not really confident that I can conquer the world, but I think I can earn at least a good grade on this accounting test! Have you had your breakfast and your vitamin C? If you still have the flu, I'll hit you.

You met him a little over three months ago, when you accidentally found his Soundcloud page and, oh man, you were so grateful about this day.

At first, you were enchanted by his voice and how he knew how to build his music and convey enough emotion that you could feel it all, as if you were experiencing everything with him. Song after song you could understand everything he was talking about, even in the sexy songs that weren't sexy enough to make you embarrassed, but maybe they were enough to mess you up, but you wouldn't admit it.

With each release of a new song from him, you felt your stomach turn over and over again and someone really needed to tell him how his songs brought peace. So you thought, why not me?

And that's where it all started.

You sent him a private message, just in order to express your feelings about those songs and that's all, it never crossed your mind that he would stop to even see that message, and not only he did see it, he answered too. Your kind words were answered with thrilled words, full of excitement, you had massaged his ego and his heart with your sincere words and he truly felt grateful for that. And when you thought that was all, there is where it comes your friendship.

He would release a song, you would comment something and boom, you two always manage to make a totally random conversation that was out of the main topic. Just like you two knew each other for a long time. It was something funny to see growing.

First, you two started with short messages, most of the time, he texted asking your opinion about a song he was composing or a beat he thought he was doing wrong. Then began the little questions like "can you help me with your opinion on this song? How was your day?", and after that, everything was built in a natural and simple way.

But you two kept your identities a secret, even the real names, which would be a stupid idea for you if you weren't the person who suggested it. Maybe even today you think it's stupid, but your insecurities and fears screamed way louder in your chest than the urge to see him up close.

Everything was built so perfectly, what if you met and your real friendship was not what you two expected? That's what you liked to say, but the truth is that maybe you were nothing like what he expected and that thought was the only thing that made you afraid.

These thoughts about everything that has been going on, kept you out of orbit, always, and while thinking about it you always got to the subway without even realizing it.

The subway station was full, as usual, and you should have gotten used to it, after all you were the one who chose to study at a university on the other side of the city, but still, sometimes you felt pure and intense laziness about having to deal with so many people and about being eventually touched by them also, especially when you could found your soulmate like that.

A touch.

In all your years of life so far, you thought it was silly and theatrical, why should you be predestined for someone you might not even know? It sounded stupid, it is stupid, that's what you always claim. But your friends always described to you that finding your soulmate was overwhelming, not in the sense of oh I just met the person I supposed to spend the rest of my life with, but the most like oh my god my whole body is being raptured because I just touched someone else. Sunny said that when she found her match, her heart nearly popped out of her mouth, the intense need to search for more of that person was fascinating.

All that you heard seemed... too good.

You just wanted to not think about it, not think about the idea of people having expectations about you, about expecting you to be everything they always dreamed of. You just wanted to be you and you alwaus could be you with him.

Always with him.

Taking your cell phone out of your pocket, you open your conversation with def as you hear the sound of his voice bring peace to your soul.

[07:07] loftv: The station is so full that I can barely breathe. What would I be without listening to you? Pure stress. I owe you lots of drinks.

[07:08] def: can I change the drinks for back massage? I’m getting old and sick...

[07:08] def: cof cof...

[07:08] def: :(

You laugh to yourself.

[07:09] loftv: Why are you being so dramatic for? It’s 7 a.m., come on!

[07:09] def: trying to persuade you. wanna see you before dying, lily of the valley.

Lily of the Valley. You always wondered why he called you that. You asked him why, but the answer was always the same: "when we see each other face to face, maybe I'll tell you about it.”

[07:11] loftv: I promise we are going to see each other, ok? Just let this test period pass. I promise. Trust me.

[07:12] def: you listen to my awful unfinished beats, of course I trust you.

[07:13] def: I have to go now. talk to you later, loftv.

You smile to yourself and put your phone away again, watching the crowd and the nothing extraordinary people there, but you found yourself looking at that specific face just a few steps ahead of you.

He was always there on Thursdays, at 7:15am. In a gray and black plaid shirt over a gray tank top, the black hair that had once been in a mullet was now just below his eyes, the once discreet piercing was now replaced by a small silver hoop and he kept writing something on the his phone.

The subway guy was handsome. As fuck.

Whenever you saw him, every Thursday, you would think "wow, whoever has this man as a soulmate will be lucky". You even thought it wouldn't hurt to have him as your soul mate. Honestly. His side profile was a killer point.

Your funny thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of the train, and along with that, the absurd movement of people crowding in front of the door while you were dragged unwillingly.

Today was a day of hell, apparently.

People kept pushing you as you tried to get on the train, until the moment they pushed you onto someone and your whole body broke down.

You felt a specific hand grasp your wrist so you wouldn't fall, and with that tiny touch your body fumed as an electric shock of pure adrenaline ran through your body, from toe to the last strand of hair. You felt breathless, your heart was running over its own beats, and an overwhelming urge to cry rose in your chest, as if he were shouting "oh, I finally found you."

You tried to turn your head to find the owner of that hand, but soon you were already pushed into the train, while your eyes went desperately searching for that someone.

Then the doors closed and the train departed.

Your kepft static for a long time as you tried to assimilate why and you could hear Sunny's words in the back of your head.

The need to search for more.

The trip to your destination was a big and confusing blur. Your heart was still pounding and somehow you were happy.

Your day went by wind, you still could not put your head in place, everything so twisted that you spent the bigger part of the day without talking to def, which rarely happened in all these months.

It was night when you regained some of your brain back, while leaving work.

Sunny felt you out of orbit through class and at work, but decided not to question. She probably knew that only one thing could ruin you like that, and for now, she wouldn't talk about that. So she said she would take you home, even if her home were in the opposite side of yours.

As you directed yourself toward her car, you pulled your phone out of your pocket and saw two messages from def on your phone.

[9:00 pm] def: loftv...

[9:09 pm] def: i just found my soulmate. a few minutes ago.

And while you were sitting in the passenger seat of Sunny's car, you felt your chest burn a little.

He had found someone who wasn't you.

[suhfleur]

dear, my dear • jaebeom (2/4)

• pairing: soulmate!jaebeom x reader

• genre: romance, angst, smut

• warnings: cursing, sexual content

• word count: 2.2k

summary: in a world where a touch can lock the doors of the heart, his voice opened the doors to your soul as he filled it with joy.

a/n: i like doing cliches. enjoy. forgive any typos, i didn’t review this.

•••

“That’s amazing!”, would sound fake.

“Wow, how it happened?”, wasn't something you wanted to know. And, “I'm happy for you” would be the last thing you felt like saying.

But you should still be a good friend.

He never even broached the subject of soulmates with you, so knowing how he felt at the moment was a cloudy situation.

You weren’t sure how to act.

Sunny decided to sleep with you, just in case, because she was too good of a friend to let your shocked ass alone. And you were grateful, because being alone all night wouldn’t do anything for you, except make you cry.

But right now, you are lying on the floor of the rooftop of your building, staring at the stars as if maybe they could tell you what to do. Pretending that nothing happened wouldn’t help much.

[10:16 pm] loftv: And how are you feeling about this?

You thought maybe he might be busy in the studio and wouldn't answer fast, but the answer soon came.

[10:21 pm] def: fine. I feel the same as always.

[10:22 pm] loftv: Is that all? Didn't you feel anything extraordinary?

[10:22 pm] def: it doesn't matter to me.

[10:23 pm] loftv: And why not?

def is typing… appeared on your screen for at least 7 minutes, and yet, no message came for almost others 5 minutes.

[10:35 pm] def: you took too long to answer. what happened?

Okay. He definitely doesn’t want to talk about it. Time to move on.

[10:36 pm] def: I missed you.

You sighed heavily, feeling your stomach twist and turn. No matter if you had found your soulmate, def was still the one you loved. And nothing would change that, not even a predestined love.

[10:37 pm] loftv: I’m sorry. Got carried away with some things. Missed you too.

[10:38 pm] loftv: A lot.

[10:38 pm] loftv: Tell me how you feeling. What you doing right now?

Putting your phone down, you heard Sunny clear her throat, looking at you suggestively.

“What?” You asked nonchalantly.

“You found your soulmate." She said as she propped her elbows on the floor and rested her chin on her left hand. “And I’m not even questioning it, I know you found him… or it is her?” She asked smiling.

“I don’t know,” You answered, thinking about the whole situation at the subway and how it messed the hell out of you. Sunny looked at you deadass like that meant ‘what do you mean, girl?’. “It happened at the subway station. People kept pushing me until somebody touched me and everything happened. I lost him… or her. I don’t have any idea. I just felt like crying… but not because I was scared. But… I felt happiness. It was so weird…”

“Do you still think the soulmate thing is something theatrical?” Sunny asked you while running her fingers through your hair. She seemed cynical.

“No. Not even a bit,” you turned on the floor until you were face to face with her. “and that’s why I’m mad. And scared. And everything.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to have that person. Even if my body it’s telling me otherwise, this is not what I want.”

“This is not who you want, right?” Sunny’s voice sounded kinder and her eyes tried to calm you down. Somehow.

“I love somebody else, Sunny.” Your eyes filled with water, so you returned back to the starting position, with your back against the floor as you looked up, expecting something to come from the sky and change all that, again.

“You know… When I met Jaehyun, everything seemed so natural that it was weird. Like, I had never seen him before and it didn’t feel strange at all. I hoped that even though he was the person I was going to spend the rest of my days with, we would have some kind of... uncomfortable moment, I guess? After all, we didn't know each other. But when I bumped into him at the Museum and we started talking, that thing... started to make sense.” She said excitedly while sitting and crossing her legs.

“What thing?” You asked, curious, looking at her again.

“Do you remember that I would always tell you that every time I picked up that specific book from the library, I felt something different? I never knew how to explain that, but I would always feel that warm feeling, like my soul was being hugged, and you called me high, which was rude of you, by the way, little bitch. But, moving on, when Jaehyun and I started meeting each other, he told me he used to go to that library and always take that same book to read!”

“Okay now, this is a hell of a coincidence.” You answering, not knowing exactly where Sunny was trying to go with that information.

“The thing is: it wasn’t a coincidence, Y/N. Whenever I walked in front of that law firm, I felt the same way I felt when I touched that book. That was because Jaehyun worked there. That Japanese food restaurant that you and I like to go whenever is possible, I used to feel the same way too, because Jaehyun used to go there a few times when you and I were, he would sit with his friends a few tables away from us, every Friday.”

You still didn’t get it.

“What you trying to say to me, Sunny?”

“This whole soulmate thing is not like life is throwing somebody at your door and saying ‘here it is’. It is not predestined as a computer programming, it is built until it is unified. It’s storytelling, your storytelling, but it has to be built. Life introduces you to your soulmate, in some weird ways, yes, but it does. That’s why it’s called soulmate.” Her eyes expressed more than what you could catch. “Just don’t overthink right now. At some point, you will know what I mean.”

And you really wish you could understand that at the moment, fully. But maybe it was not for you right now.

“Hungry?” You nodded. “Good, I will order pizza now. Half spicy!” Sunny got up quickly, laughing. “And you are going to eat with me!”

“You know I don’t eat spicy things!” You shouted as she ran into your apartment, moving backward just a few steps to look at you.

“Life is too short to not eat spicy things, especially when you never ate it before. And, if I were you I'd look at my phone because you're probably leaving a certain someone talking to himself.” She said laughing as she disappeared into your living room.

Oh shit, def…

Quickly picking up your phone from the floor, you see that he had only sent you two messages, 10 minutes ago.

[10:41 pm] def: can I call you? I really missed you.

[10:45 pm] def: please?

You felt your hands shake a little at the question. The two of you had never been messaging, his idea of not knowing much about you never included not talking on the phone, but he never even asked about it.

And now, receiving his call was an overwhelming idea.

[10:55 pm] loftv: I’m sorry, I was talking to my friend.

[10:55 pm] loftv: But yes, call me.

And as soon as you sent the message you started preparing, trying not to create what you didn't want: expectations. You had no more than 1 minute to think about anything because soon your phone was vibrating and his name was shining brightly on your screen.

You answered quickly.

“Hey.”

His low and husky voice vibrated in your ears, in almost a whisper, as if he was testing territory. And you felt like throwing up, your stomach kept spinning, feeling goosebumps on the back of your neck. He could always make you fall apart just like that.

“Hey, you… You never answered me what you were doing.” You said shyly, biting your lower lip, hoping that you didn’t sound stupid.

“That’s why I’m calling you, miss. To show you what I’m doing…” His voice sounded a little more excited.

“Well… You are not going to really show me anything, you know how calls work right? I just can hear you.” You mocked.

“Oh, you are the smartest person in the world, uh?” He answered wryly. “You understand what I’m saying, you wanna know what I’m doing or not?”

“Ok, big baby. I’m all ears.” You heard a small laugh from him, making you smile more. He was walking somewhere because you could hear him opening and closing a door. “Where are you?”

“Studio.” His voice was distant as if the cell phone had been placed somewhere far away.

“I’m waiting…” You hummed.

“Wait a minute, Einstein. I’m almost there.” Then you heard the keyboard noise and a few clicks. “There we go, I hope you like it…”

A gentle guitar melody began to play and you lay back on the floor again, enjoying his voice blending perfectly with the sound of the strings and the sudden beat coming in.

“You’re always in my thoughts,

Where you are right now,

If only I could know

Even if it takes a few years

I want to find you…

Come back to me.”

The calm words being chanted as supplications filled your mind, while the starry sky presented you with this perfect combination.

You didn't even notice when it was over. Only when you heard his voice again.

“You liked it?” He sounded hesitant.

“You still ask me that? It's beautiful. Perfect. Tell me this is the final version, please, I'll kill you if you make any changes." You heard his laugh and some noises again, as if he were leaving that place again, locking a door.

"I would only change something if you told me this song was horrible, after all, you are my quality manager, right?"

The noise of movement and cars grew louder.

"Are you leaving the studio?"

“Yes. I’m going home now because I think somebody once told me that if I was past 11 pm in the studio, she would strangle me or something like that…”

“That must be a nice person, then.” You answered, laughing at him. At least your threats were working.

“Yeah. She is very nice… But tell me now, what are you doing, my Lily?”

So, you guys talked about absolutely everything, from how sushi is not all that good to the meaning of constellations in each mythology, which honestly left you wanting to jump on him because that man could talk about everything, and there wasn’t, at the moment, something sexier than the way he explained things. The conversation was so long and relaxed that you walked through the whole house while talking to him, and now you were on the living room floor, next to a Sunny who just passed out watching Princess Mononoke from Studio Ghibli. After eating a disguting spicy pizza that almost made you throw up while talking to def, and he mocked you for 15 minutes.

Just as your friendship started naturally, the same thing happened with this first phone conversation and you thought "why the hell am I so afraid?", you had never felt so stupid. It was time to be brave. After all, you had nothing to lose. He was not predestined for you.

"Def?" You called, hesitantly.

"Yeah?"

"I think... I mean... Why is it so hard to form a phrase? God... Ok. I think we should see each other, if it's ok with you."

You waited anxiously for the answer, and received a laugh.

"If it's ok for me? C’mon now, I'm waiting to see you for months. Of course it's ok for me. When do you want to see me?"

Right now, please.

"Is it okay if I want to see you tomorrow? After work...”

“Are you sure? I mean, you know I work at home, so no problem but it won't be tiring for you?” The concern in his voice warmed your heart a bit. Always so understanding.

“Yes, I’m sure. Don’t worry. I just really want to see you.” You admitted holding your breathe.

“I really want to see you, Lily. I really do.”

“Good, I can’t wait to hear why you call me Lily and it better be a good reason or I swear to God, we gonna fight!” His laughter once again filled your ears and heart. “Even though I don't want to go now, it's already 2 am and in 5 hours I have to go to the university and then work. Unfortunately, capitalism forces me to go. See you tomorrow?” You asked with dreamy voice, and big smile.

“Of course you will... Before you go, let me tell you one important thing.”

“What is it?” You asked curiously, looking lazily at the screen.

“My name is Jaebeom. Lim Jaebeom. Sleep well, my Lily.”