#jacob seed x gn!deputy

[paradlselost]

i am so glad im finding another person who writes for far cry :)) if possible, can we see a jacob seed x gn!deputy who replaces pratt as his prisoner? it ends with jacob being their one and only, (even if its dubcon)

WIND — UP TOY

jacob seed x gn!deputy

⎨ 𝐀𝐍 ⎬ ty for being my first submission ! jacob and his region lowkey scare the shit out of me lmao 🙏 kinda a little fucked up but I mean it’s jacob seed . also sorry this took so long ); smut below the cut

no use of y/n , reader is referred to as ‘ deputy ’ . gender specific nicknames are replaced by ‘ pup ’ . not beta - read

⎨ 𝐂𝐖 ⎬ blasphemy , deputy is treated like a dog , implied forced cannibalism , implied death of a minor character , brainwashing , jacobs his own warning isn’t he ? smut : dub - con , degrading , oral ( m receiving ) , soft - ish sex , penetration , dacryphillia , one - sided orgasm .

It always crept up on him when he least expected it; when things began to have a sense of normalcy. His days a haze and his nights clouded with gunfire and explosions, dreams marred with blood and the guts of former comrades and men who died far too young. For what?

What is the American dream when the world is going to end anyways? What are the soldiers overseas fighting for when the rivers will soon flow with blood and the ground tarred with ash?

His hand runs over his face; rubbing tired eyes. Demons of his past prey on him while he sleeps, turning him weak. Two to three hours is good enough for him, leaves him rested enough for his eyes to focus on the maps in front of him.

Being the leader of the army of Eden’s Gate wasn’t an easy job, though he held it with pride - a cardinal sin - but Joseph would forgive him as long as the prophecies his little brother had bouncing around his head came true. Jacob didn’t know if he believed in anything, really, it was hard to imagine God was with the soldiers that clutched cross pendants behind HESCO barriers.

But where he might’ve drifted from the true meaning of the cause further and further, where he might’ve argued the existence of a higher power with Joseph; one thing grounded him to his purpose and place in the cult. The Deputy.

Joseph’s ramblings were insane to the layman and gospel to the believer - but it seemed right now they were damn prophetic. Everything he said the Deputy would do; they did, and left bodies in their wake. Sometimes, he would watch whatever the cameras picked up of them on his screens, how they traversed the Whitetails with an almost practiced knowledge.

Sometimes, he felt like the eighteen year old new enlistee again when he watched them. The blood, the gunfire. Jacob Seed was a tough man, righteous and brave, but he would look down at them in their cage and feel the fire on his skin from the ranch he burned all those years ago.

He hated the feeling, wanting to drive his pocket knife into his chest and carve out every semblance of memory he had. But then his music box would rewind, and he would hear the sweet sound of the Platters crooning through the wood and metal and maybe, just maybe, things would be okay for him.

So he watched the way the Deputy writhe behind those thick steel bars against the cold soil, not afforded the luxuries even the most depraved prisoners received. Weak and idiotic for attempting to save their friend; but a mind that could be molded with the right tune.

Staci Pratt was a good pet; Pavlovian in nature and willing to do anything for the oldest Seed brother, so maybe that’s why Jacob began to grow bored of the man. Maybe that’s why he entertained the cracks beginning to show in the conditioning, how Pratt’s eyes softened at the sight of their co-worker being taunted by the Herald and yet knowing there wasn’t anything he could do about it.

An escape plan, of course he knew about it, he had eyes and ears everywhere and could always tell when one of his dogs stepped out of line. A perfectly timed truck, the siren going off to alert that a prisoner had escaped, catching Pratt as he allowed the Deputy to leave without him. It was almost sweet, but moreover vomit-inducing, like a lamb.

Sheep are creatures controlled by their own nature, that’s why dogs have to herd them back into formation - like a general in charge of new recruits. Intolerables are discharged, lambs are taken to the slaughterhouse. Nature, the circle of life, the bad meat is thrown out for the poor and needy to pick through.

“Eat. You wouldn’t want to fall sick, would you?”

A tin was placed in front of the Deputy, they had been through this before. Starved for however many days Jacob deemed necessary - usually ten - before they are given nothing but raw meat to eat. Never did they think they would yearn for the peanuts and beer served at the Spread Eagle, but there was no position to argue about what they were being given here.

Some fell over the side as greedy hands shoveled clump after clump into their mouth, covering it in a pitiful yet successful attempt to keep it down. Never did they ask what kind of meat it was, choosing to instead assume it was from one of the many cow farms in the valley.

“You’re hungry, aren’t ya, pup? You’re lucky, that’s a nice cut of meat.” A grin played on his face as he leaned against the metal bars, fingers grazing over his music box. There wouldn’t be any culling today, no, he had a much better idea in mind.

“Where’s Pratt?”

“Not even a thank you for my generosity, aren’t you fierce?”

“Where is he?”

“Peaches’s little act of rebellion earned him a punishment, I mean; that’s only fair. In a war like this you can’t go sympathizing with the devil, no matter how well you knew them before.”

It’s not an answer, but there’s an unspoken understanding that that is the closest thing the Deputy will get to knowing. A huff falling from their lips, ever the ungrateful dog; but their bowl is licked clean and what more can Jacob ask for?

A soft tsk fell from his lips, cold and condescending because how could he be anything but? Did the thing below him deserve care and kindness? Maybe at some point when they were strong, when their mind was still their own, but now they were nothing but a lamb being fattened for the slaughter.

His fingers grasped their chin, forcing eye contact and no doubt leaving marks that would form bruises. How much had they been through? Chest slashed with the markings from Jacobs little brother and mind already foggy from the bliss that grew in the Henbane; but there was a certain pride he took in being the one to break them.

How much time had passed? Had anyone come looking for them? Jacob had often taunted them, used the fact that they were immobile against the conditioning he had given them to contact anyone. The rebellion would fall without their snake, maybe it already had, how would the Deputy know?

It wasn’t their place to think anymore, to simply let the oldest Herald put a leash around their neck and sit beside like a good dog. Their mind wasn’t their own, now it belonged to him and they had no room to complain.

“Look at’chu, open your mouth.” But he didn’t wait for them to comply, instead he bullied his fingers against their tongue, exploring over their gums and teeth. They could bite him, certainly, but they didn’t - wouldn’t.

Who was Jacob Seed but their owner? He had saved them from themselves, from the blood and the gore and the fire that threatened to burn the world to nothing but ashes. Joseph had greeted them in their new form, John had shown up to pout, but their eyes only ever stayed on the eldest.

“Such a good pup, ‘ did a wonderful job training you, huh?” He asked as if they could answer, as if they weren’t preoccupied by the fingers that traced their mouth like he was mapping them out.

A hum passed from his lips as he removed his fingers, instead moving to undo the buckle on his belt. Even in this state, the Deputy wasn’t stupid and could very clearly tell what was coming next. So, to hopefully avoid any wrath from him, moved to help undo his pants.

Leaning back in his chair and observing as they removed his pants, fingers trailing over the growing bulge in his boxers. Jacob was a stoic man, never did the Deputy know if they were really doing good, but he didn’t scold them so there was no stopping.

Hands smoothed out the black fabric a bit nervously, playing with the hem for a moment before a soft grunt from the Herald alerted them. Knowingly, their fingers hooked underneath the waistband and pulled it away from his freckled skin, letting it pool at his ankles along with his pants.

Wrapping around the base of his still hardening cock, their eyes fluttered up to meet his gray ones. A silent beg, a plea that they were doing alright and there would be no punishment later. All they got in return was a small nod; though there was no love or care behind it. More like a drill sergeant instructing a particularly moldable soldier.

Gentle, unsure licks placed against his tip, hand working against the base; fingers brushing against veins that worked overtime to pump blood to his dick. Jacob Seed was not one for taking his sweet time, his fingers tangled in their hair as he pushed their head down on his aching cock.

A soft gag fell from their lips, hands moving from him to settle on his toned thighs. A heavy breath leaving their nose as they tried their hardest to relax, nuzzling against his untamed ginger hair. He relished in the warmth of their throat, the tightness eliciting a groan as he pushed his hips up.

Their gagging was the sweetest sound he had ever heard, the soft whimpers and tears that emitted from the Deputy as they tried their hardest to just breathe through their nose. He loved the power he held over them, how those pretty tears fell for him.

“Cmon pup, look up at me.”

Fighting between lifting their head to meet his gaze and keeping their mouth wrapped around his cock, the Deputy managed to tilt their head up enough to see him. His smirk widened, cock throbbing against their throat as he watched the tears continue to fall from them.

Another few thrusts to the back of their throat before he groaned, pulling their head off his dick with a small ‘pop’. A trail of saliva still connected their lips, pre-cum mixed in with it. He couldn’t help the laugh that emitted from him at the sight of their swollen lips and heavy breathing.

“Poor thing. Don’t cry, I take care of you, don’t I?”

The Deputy couldn’t do anything but nod, and maybe it was a bit true. Jacob did care for them in his own sick and twisted way. In the back of their mind they wondered if this was how he treated Pratt behind close doors; more like a prized trophy than a lover.

His hands grabbed at their hips, pulling them onto his lap. The small barrier of whatever clothes they had been wearing on their lower half before was quickly removed, giving him access to everything he wanted.

Burying their face into the crook of his neck and wrapping arms around the back of him, the Herald lifted their hips once more to guide himself inside their needy hole before pushing them down onto him. Stretching, pain emanating from the sudden intrusion, he could feel the tears that fell from them and landed against his skin.

He cooed, a grin still wide on his face. His hands still settled on their hips, guiding them up and down on his cock. Gentle movements at first that quickly devolved to an almost feral extent. His pre-cum marred the inside of their hole, creating wet and sticky sounds everytime he fucked in and out of them.

It felt like a dam was about to break by the time Jacob decided he was finished. Loud sobs wracked their body as they cuddled closer to him, so close yet so far. His hips continued to move for a moment; stuttering and shifting a bit before he released inside of them, filling them with his cum.

The Deputy finally leaned back after a moment, tears still flowing from their now red eyes, sniffling - but they still attempted to move their hips over him. To get any kind of release as the Herald caught his breath. Needily grinding against his lap, hands clutching his shirt in a pitiful attempt that only made him laugh more.

“Oh, look at’chu. Pup needs to get off too, huh? Don’t worry, I told you I’ll take care of you.”

[spookyspecterino]

MASTERLIST

❤️ NSFW/18+ | 🧡 Mature Teens | 💛 SFW | My AO3

A Quiet Place: Day One

Eric x Reader

💛 "Focus on Me" | GN!Reader

You and Eric share a first kiss

💛 "Try To Live, For Me" | GN!Reader

You meet Eric on the boat. Getting attached is dangerous.

💛 "Together at the End of the World" | GN!Reader

You're stuck in the subway with Eric the day the asteroids hit.

Starfield - Sam Coe/Delgado

Starfield Masterlist

Bullet Train - Tangerine

Bullet Train Masterlist

Far Cry 5

Jacob Seed

❤️ "Out Hunting" | F! Reader

Jacob goes hunting, only to be followed by the deputy. Things don't go as planned, which might not be such a bad thing.

John Seed

🧡 "Unconditional" | GN! Reader

John is caught off-guard by a surprise visit from the deputy and they confess something he wasn't expecting. Will this be a turning point for him?

Stranger Things - Eddie Munson

❤️ "Distracted" | F! Reader

While in class, you and Eddie get to talking. Which quickly becomes something else when certain things come out...

❤️ "I'm With You Till the End" | F! Reader

When Eddie's trailer shows up on the morning news and cops come to your door asking if you've seen him, you panic and go looking for him.

Marvel - Stephen Strange

🧡 "Annoying" | GN! Reader

During an argument you let slip that you may have once had a crush on Stephen Strange, but Stephen doesn't reject you and some interesting things are revealed...

💛 "Is it Worth That?" | GN! Reader

When Stephen Strange tracks you down for practicing forbidden magic you are forced to make a crucial choice.

Encanto - Bruno Madrigal

💛 HeadCanons & A Few Short Blurbs | F! Reader

HeadCanons about Bruno's feelings for you. Blurbs are short stories about Bruno asking you out on a date and Bruno and you getting ready for Julieta's wedding.

💛 "Think About This, Before It's Too Late" | F! Reader

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

When you've loved Bruno from afar for so long and he's never reciprocated, you think it's finally time to move on. But moving on isn't working and you're faced with a choice.

💛 "I'd Like a Vision, Please" | F! Reader

You go to Bruno for a vision, but what he shows you isn't what you expected. Trying to question The Seer only gets you more tangled up.

[lucixi-gaming]

OG poster of this alphabet: @dear-yandere

Just know this is yandere

This is for my Farcry 5 OC Deputy Christin Daggingheart

Yandere! Chris x fem!reader /gn! Reader

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

•Ok so before the cult Chris would be really open and loving almost clingy

•after the cult the clingyness got worse

•her little brother Luke is really the only one who sees who she once was still. Like she hasn't changed for him.

•~•~•~•~•~•~

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

• just know Chris would kill the entire cult again just to keep you safe. Same with Luke she will do anything for you two.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

• Chris is kinda unpredictable

• she would probably call you weak or worthless if you tried to escape

• If you even though about hurting Luke to get at her she would end your life without a second thought

•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

• Chris would never do something that would make you uncomfortable but if she has to she will

• surprisingly good at respecting boundaries

• hope you like military training because that's what your stuck with thanks to Jacob seed

•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

• Chris is only ever really vulnerable with Luke. I mean how could she not she raised her little brother.

• it will take awhile to for her to show her true feeling. You'll feel worse than a caged bird. Heck the ants got treated better than you for a little bit.

•but once you get to see that vulnerable side don't mess up she'll probably hurt you for betraying her

•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

• Chris would be shocked just don't bring Luke into it

• Chris can sense when someone is behind her so don't try to sneak up on her

•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

• Chris would think it a game

• she finds it funny how you think the police will save you. How could you forget she is one of them.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

•the worst experience you'll get is being thrown back into a dark room with no windows. All the freedom she gave you would be gone.

• she would probably put you through the same things the cult put her through but worse some how.

•~•~•~•~

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

• if you're female Chris would plan on marrying you and adopting

•If you're gender neutral you're going to be treated like royalty and kids are still going to be adopted

•~•~•~•~•~

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

• Chris gets jealous easily

• but how could you make her jealous. Her brother doesn't trust you and your not allowed near her wolf or the outside world

•~•~•~•~

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

•if you met her before the cult happened she was probably soft spoken and shy around you

• after the cult she's more confident but dangerous. Like i said unpredictable you never know what mood she will switch to

•~•~•~•~•~

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

• she would probably start off with building up trust and then she kidnapps i mean surprise moves you in with her

•~•~•~•~•~

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

• ok if you see how she acts with the whitetails and the other deputies you would be wondering who this stranger is

•~•~•~•~•

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

• hmmm torcher to the point you might die

•~•~•~•~

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

• your not allowed to have these things

Phone

Outside time without her

Privacy

•~•~•~•~•

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

• Chris is really patience to the point it's creepy

•~•~•~•~

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

• if you die she'll act like nothing happened you'll just be another unsolved missing persons case

• if you leave or successfully escape her and the wolf will track you down or tell the sheriff you ran away

•~•~•~•~•

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

• no

• not one bit

• she'll never let you go your stuck with her

•~•~•~•~•

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

• you two are childhood friends

• when she saved you from the cult she thought kidnapping you would be the only way to keep you safe

•~•~•~•~•

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

• why would she care she isolates all the time

• she'll laugh if you cry

• don't scream that's the worst thing you could do. She may rip your vocal cords out.

• quit showing weakness she'll probably get worse from your weakness

•~•~•~•~•

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

• she'll probably be the least suspected

• but other than that not really

•~•~•~•~•

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

• if you hurt or take Luke to escape your dead on site

• the fact she has to go to work is the only way you'll get free

•~•~•~•~•

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

• she's constantly hurting you for trying to escape

• once she chained you up like a dog then left you

•~•~•~•~•

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

• she's the type to worship the ground you walk on

• she'll kill anyone to keep you

•~•~•~•~•

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

• as soon as she snaps her yearning for you would be really bad to the point Luke got worried

•~•~•~•~•

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

•that is Chris' whole goal she will stop at nothing to make sure you're obedient and that you'll stop trying to escape

•~•~•~•~•

[lethalchiralium]

Butterflies | Jacob Seed x GN! Reader

a/n: self-indulgent fic cause i cry over jacob all the time

summary: the man likes rocks. you like jacob.

(gif is not mine!)

The sun was bright and warm and the Deputy loved it. The gentle rocking of the canoe was almost lulling them to sleep - if it wasn’t for the man wadding around in the shallow pond. It was a funny mistake asking him what he wanted to do today - look for precious stones for his brothers.

Rocks. He was looking for rocks.

The Junior Deputy didn’t complain - their cowboy hat settled lazily on their face while still being able to see a very shirtless Jacob was enough entertainment for the whole week. His beard grazed his collarbone as he stared into the clear waters, watching as tiny fish swam around his legs. He would move around for a little while, stick his hand in the cold water and have Rook assess the rock he found.

“I’d do this as a kid, take John and Joseph out on an old raft and collect rocks in a pond. They loved it.” Jacob’s voice was quiet when he told that to his Deputy earlier, they found no reason to externally tease him about it. But man, the man was collecting rocks. “Was an escape for a couple hours ‘til our mama got worried and sent out our dad.”

Rook didn’t push any further; they were glad they didn’t because they got to lay in the sun and tell the Soldier if a rock was cool or not.

Jacob held up another small rock, moving closer to Rook for them to see it. Their hand pulled up the hat a little, seeing a sparkling rock in between his fingers.

“That one’s cool.” Their other hand was now held out to take it - he had a small pouch that was settled on their stomach. The man came closer to the canoe than he had all day, setting the rock on Rook’s palm, “Are you done?”

“Nah, just seeing if you’re getting bored yet.” Jacob smirked and Rook gazed at the glittering rock, it looked like a genuinely rare stone.

“Who’s this one going to?”

Jacob’s bear paw of a hand reached down and took the cowboy hat off of the Deputy, who almost whined in protest if Jacob didn’t settle it on his head. The smirk pulled into a smile as he noticed how still the Deputy became. “Well, do I look that bad?”

The Deputy opened their mouth to speak but the words died in their throat, their face heated and Jacob frowned, moving to take it off. “No! No- Keep it. Keep it.”

Only a small laugh left his lips before he turned to look back at the pond, allowing Rook to gaze at his abs like they were for the past two hours. As soon as he turned back, their eyes met his almost instantly - the Soldier smiled again with those insanely white teeth. “Rock’s for you, sweetheart. How well do you think that’ll make into a ring?”

———

Copyright © 2022 lethalchiralium. All rights reserved.

[2dmenenthusiast]

“Please, don’t leave.”

(John Seed x Deputy Gn!Reader)

alright listen, i have so many thoughts about this fic and my own lore behind it that I'm gonna make a seperate post talking about it cuz I love the idea so much. Also, thank you all for all the love on my last John fic! I hope ya'll enjoy this one as well! (Also may or may not write a part 2 to this 👀)

Reblogs and feedback is always appreciated! <3

Summary: Before Eden's Gate got serious, there was just you and John, and he pays you a visit to offer you a proposition.

Word count: 2k

Warnings/other info: gets a little heated, nothing too crazy, reader is gender nuetral as always

“According to the cult’s leader, Joseph Seed, otherwise known as The Father, Eden’s Gate is a peaceful organization preparing for what they call ‘the collapse.’ Joseph is joined by loyal followers, as well as his brothers Jacob and John-”

You closed out of the news article with a sigh, throwing your phone on the couch as you ran a hand down your face. The Seeds. They were familiar. You had met them a few times, back when they were just a normal family and not part of some insane cult. People had the freedom to believe what they wanted but this…

You picked up your phone again, pulling the article back up and looking at the picture of the four of them together. As your eyes scanned the photo, you couldn’t help but let your gaze linger on one particular sibling, his piercing eyes staring right back at you as unease settled in your stomach. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t know John. In fact, you’d like to think you knew him pretty well. So seeing this photo and this article-

Something wet gently nudged your hand, and you looked away from your phone to see Boomer staring at you, head tilted to the side and his tail wagging excitedly. You smiled and set your phone aside, reaching out to scratch his head. You had agreed to dogsit for Rae-Rae while she was out of town for a few days, and Boomer immediately made himself at home in your small place.

“You wanna go outside, boy?”

Boomer jumped, his front paws on your knees as his tail seemed to wag faster, and he excitedly followed you as you walked to the door, running out as soon as you opened it. You watched for a moment as he rolled around in the grass and played with his toys that you had left in the yard the day before, a wide grin on your face.

Rae-Rae’s gotta leave town more often.

You made sure to only close the screen door and walked to the kitchen, checking to see if the water you left on the stove was boiling yet. You huffed, pouring in the dry noodles. You really needed to go grocery shopping soon. Surviving on buttered noodles and grilled cheese was starting to get bland.

A sudden knock on your door had your grip tightening on the spoon in your hand, and you checked the time on your stove. It was almost six. Who the hell was knocking at your door at this time? You cautiously walked over and peeked through the screen door, and your heart almost leaped out of your chest when you saw John Seed standing on the other side. Your hand scrambled for the door handle, flinging it open as John looked at you with a slightly surprised expression. He looked as if he couldn’t believe he was standing at your door, like he didn’t drive the distance from his ranch and take all the turns to get here. He looked nervous.

“John,” you breathed.

He was a bit disheveled, strands of hair hanging in his face and a dark blue knitted sweater hugging his arms. He looked so different from the picture you saw. He seemed guarded and brooding in the photo, but here with you, he looked almost vulnerable. He looked good, though. You always preferred casual John over slicked-back-hair-with-a-vest John. His gaze shifted to the plastic spoon in your hand, his lips quirking up.

“You gonna fend off your attacker with a spoon?”

You looked down at said object, letting out a weak chuckle. “Actually, I think he would do a better job of that.”

You gestured behind John, and he slightly turned to see Boomer running back towards the house at full force. He stepped back when Boomer barked at him, the dog probably wondering what this stranger was doing at your house, but you quickly shushed him as you signaled for him to follow you, leading Boomer right to his food and water. Liquid sloshed out of the sides of the bowl as he drank, and John cautiously entered your home as you turned to him.

“Yours?” he asked.

You shook your head. “Nah, Rea-Rea’s. I offered to watch him while she was gone.”

He nodded, hands in his jean pockets as he looked around your place, seemingly not knowing what to do with himself. You raised an eyebrow in suspicion. You’ve never seen John so nervous before, especially when he was only around you. When he came over, he would make himself at home, grab a drink and sit on your couch. What was with him tonight?

“Uh, you can sit down,” you said, gesturing to the couch, to which he hesitantly walked over and sat down.

You occupied the spot next to him, turning your body slightly towards him as your gaze traveled over his expression. You cursed at yourself when the thought of how pretty he was forced itself into your brain, but how were you to blame? He was pretty. With eyes you’ve seen in your dreams, and lips that once pressed so tenderly against your skin. You felt your face heat up as you recalled countless nights alone with the youngest Seed brother, his hands on your body and his head between your-

“So…”

You cleared your throat, trying not to give away your flustered state as you gave John a small smile. “Sorry. Um… Do you have something you wanna talk about? Or did you just come over to visit?”

He let out a small chuckle, reaching up to rub the back of his neck as he seemed to avoid eye contact with you. “A bit of both, I guess.”

You watched him for a moment before scoffing, shaking your head. “I know you didn’t just come over out of the blue after three months of no contact just for ‘I guess.’”

He finally managed to look at you, his guilt showing on his face as he reached out to touch you, but changed his mind at the last second.

“I know. I’m sorry, I…”

There was a beat of silence as John struggled to figure out what to say, and you reached out to take one of his hands in yours, the sudden contact clearly surprising him. If you were being honest, it shocked you, too. After going so long without touching him, the contact seemed almost foreign, but it wasn’t unwelcome. You slowly found yourself craving more.

“You can tell me what’s on your mind, John. It’s okay.”

“... You know my brother, right? Joseph?” You nodded, urging him to continue. “Then you’ve heard about Eden’s Gate.”

A sigh left you before you could stop yourself, and John’s grip on your hand immediately tightened. “John, I don’t know if I-”

“He’s not crazy. What he says, what he preaches, there’s truth to it. The end is coming, and-”

“Jesus, John,” you pulled your hand away, secretly missing his warmth, “do you hear yourself right now?”

“You don’t understand. You haven’t heard talk about what he’s seen. How the future is full of flames and death-”

“Of course it is! Listen, it’s nice that you’re supporting your brother. But I don’t need him to tell me that the world is going to end. Of course it will. And whether that’s in a ball of flames, or if the earth implodes, we’ll both be long dead before that happens.”

You smelled something strange in the air and let out a soft curse when you saw smoke coming out of your kitchen, quickly jumping off the couch to take care of your now burnt noodles. You carefully grabbed the pot with some pot holders and placed it in the sink, running the water so it would stop smoking. You looked at the shriveled noodles with a frown. Not that you were upset, you lost your appetite anyway.

“Come with me.”

You spun around, John standing a few feet away as he took a slow step towards you. You shook your head.

"What?"

"Come with me. You can come to the church and listen. And then… you can join me. Us."

You scoffed, eyes slightly widening as you searched his face. He looked completely serious, coming closer to you as you took a step back, hitting the stove handle.

"John, you know I can't."

"Why?"

"Because this is crazy! You- I can't just uproot my whole life to join your family in some insane cult!"

"It's not-!" John let out a huff, his hands turning into fists and the muscles in his jaw tensing. "Please."

Slowly shaking your head, you crossed your arms over your chest and averted your eyes, not able to take looking at John's expression. Not when he looked at you like that.

"I… I want to support you, John. I do. But what about my life? My job, my home, my friends?"

"What about me?"

Your breath hitched, John's shoes peeking into your vision, and you looked up to see him only mere inches from you, a whirlwind of emotions swirling behind his eyes. You opened your mouth as you tried to speak, but his hands suddenly reached out, gently prying your arms away from your body so he could be closer to you. He carefully held your face in his hands, like you might break if he was too rough.

"I want you to be there with me. Right by my side as we watch it all unfold." He reached down, grabbing your hand and pressing it against his chest. "I was so… empty before. But since I met you, I've felt as if I'm going to burst at the seams. You take up every part of me. Every thought, every action."

"John-"

"Please. Please, just… just say yes.”

You swallowed thickly, eyes burning as tears gathered, and you desperately tried to not let them fall. If John was anything, it was convincing. He could tell a room of fifty people that pigs flew, and they would all believe him. Of course, one look into his eyes was enough for him to have anyone’s full attention. When he opened his mouth, people wanted to listen. Maybe that’s why you wanted to believe him so bad. You wanted to throw caution to the wind and leave with him. But you couldn’t.

You sniffled, reaching up to wipe away a rogue tear. “I can’t, John. I’m sorry.”

His expression slowly fell, hand tightening around yours before he let it drop from his chest, and he took a step back, the air around you a little less suffocating. You felt your heart crack at John’s dejected look, staring off to the side, anywhere that wasn’t you.

“I think you should go,” you muttered softly, and John nodded before making his way towards the door, you following after him.

The short walk to your door felt longer than you remembered, and the view of his back made you want to reach out and grab him so he couldn’t leave. No, you didn’t really want him to go, but you were afraid you would do something you’d regret if he didn’t. But, as soon as he opened the door and began stepping out, you found yourself saying his name and grabbing his arm, gently tugging him back. When he turned to face you, whatever you wanted to say died on your lips.

Those fucking eyes.

He barely had any time to react when you grabbed the collar of his sweater and yanked him forward, noses bumping as you desperately kissed him. He reacted almost immediately, one arm circling your waist as his hand came up to cradle the back of your head, pulling you impossibly close. It was rough and needy. It wasn’t enough, though. You craved every part of him, wanted him to touch you like he had so many times before. Pulling away, you smiled when he tried to chase after you, grabbing his hand and leading him to the couch. You gently pushed him down and climbed into his lap, his hands quickly finding their home on your hips as he tugged you closer.

“Please, don’t leave,” he said, his possessive grip on you tightening.

Reaching up, your fingers gently carded though his hair, brushing it out of his face as you gave him a fond smile. “I won’t. I promise.”

Smiling up at you, John tugged you forward into another kiss, and you hummed against his lips as you pressed yourself against him, wrapping your arms around his neck. You’d deal with the consequences later.

[derelictlovefool]

Ao3! Kofi! Request Guidelines!

♡ — Fluff

♧ — Angst

♤ — Nsfw/Smut

◇ — Canon Typical Violence

□ — General, No Warnings

☆ — That special Enemies to Lovers flavoured spice

Last Updated: 21/09/2024

— Fics involving my original characters [oc x canon & oc x oc works]

Resident Evil Village

One Man's Trash is Another Man's Treasure: Colvyr Covali x Karl Heisenberg — ♡

What's His is Mine and What's Mine is Mine: Colvyr Covali x Alcina Dimitrescu, Colvyr Covali x Karl Heisenberg — □

Alcina's Notes on Colvyr: Features Colvyr Covali, Alcina Dinitrescu and her daughters — □

Kiss on the Forehead: Colvyr Covali x Karl Heisenberg — ♡

Hope: Features Darius Lupan, Ethan Winterd and the Duke — ◇

Far Cry 5

SMFYaM CH1, CH2, CH3, CH4, CH5, CH6: Deputy Dean Sinclaire x Jacob Seed — ◇♤♧

Safe & Sound: Features Dove & Pheobe Ash (@/deputyash's oc's), Dean, Caleb, Charmeine & Ace Sinclaire — Single Parent Crossover AU □

The Angels Right Hand: Features Anya Cherkov, Faith Seed, Simon Dallas and Sharky Boshaw — ◇

Unwanted Visitor: Features Jerome Jeffries, Baptist!Dean Sinclaire and Peggies — Reverse Fc5 AU ◇

Misguided: Features the Seeds, the Sinclaires, Herald!James Rook and Marvin Brooks — Reverse Fc5 AU ◇

Not a Diva: Peggie!Dean Sinclaire x John Seed — ♡

A Glimpse: Deputy Dean Sinclaire x the Seeds — ◇♡☆

A Moment of Bliss: Deputy Dean Sinclaire x John Seed — ♡

Hard Decisions: Baptist!Dean Sinclaire x John Seed — Reverse Fc5 AU ♡☆

Ain't No Rest For The Wicked: Features Marvin Brooks, Deputy Dean Sinclaire, Deputy James Rook, Jess Black, Grace Armstrong, Earl Whitehorse and Peggies — ◇

A Mistake and a Saving Grace: Deputy Dean Sinclaire x Joseph Seed, Features Sharky Boshaw — ☆♡♧

Guilty Conscience: Deputy Dean Sinclaire x John Seed — ◇♡♧

Tired: Deputy Dean Sinclaire x Joseph Seed — No Cult AU ♡

Head For Breakfast: Deputy Dean Sinclaire x Deputy James Rook — ♤♡ [Consensual Somnophilia, Oral, Barebacking]

Dying Light 2

One Minute More Love One Minute More: Nikolas Reeves x Hakon — ♧

24/03: Nikolas Reeves x Hakon x Lawan — ♡

The Boy From Never and Ever [original fiction]

Scars & Ink: Nym Rosemerry x Eden Noble — ♡

May I?: Nym Rosemerry x Eden Noble — ♡♤ [Blowjob, Face sitting, Barebacking]

Shiptober

Day 1, 2 & 3: Wade Wilson x Dean Sinclaire — ♡♤◇ [Day 3: Praise kink, Butt plug, Oral, Handjob, Doggy Style, Overstimulation]

Day 4, 5 & 6: Heather Lucille Valentine x Deputy Dean Sinclaire — ♤♡ [Day 4: Thigh Riding, Handcuffs]

Day 7, 8 & 9: John Seed x Deputy Dean Sinclaire x Deputy James Rook — ♡♤◇ [Day 9: Thigh Fucking, Masturbating, Oral]

Day 10, 11 & 12: Mary May Fairgrave x Anya Cherkov — ♡

Day 13, 14 & 15: Faith Seed x Piper Vasquez — ♤♡ [Day 13: Dry Humping, Intoxication, Oral]

Day 16, 17 & 18: Karl Heisenberg x Colvyr Covali — ◇♡♧

Day 19: Cooper McCoy x Gabriel Stokes — ♡

Day 20: Rai Anderson x Casper Vasquez — ♡

Day 21: Michael Sinclaire x Alexys — ♡

Day 22, 23 & 24: Faith Seed x Deputy Dean Sinclaire — ♡♤◇ [Day 23: Intoxication, Strap On, Bareback, Public Play]

Day 25, 26 & 27: Jacob Seed x Deputy Dean Sinclaire — ♡♤◇☆ [Day 25: Public Play, Vibrator, Edging]

Day 28, 29 & 30: Joseph Seed x Deputy Dean Sinclaire — ♡◇☆

Day 31: Audrey Marshall x Deputy Dean Sinclaire — ♡

Underworld

Under The Bleachers: Razahir 'Raze' Khemse x Salvador Hale — ♡

You Shouldn't Have: Razahir 'Raze' Khemse x Salvador Hale — ♡

Valentine, Bryne [original fiction]

The Rain Fell My Love and So Too Did We: Sybil Bryne x Eliad Bryne — ♧◇

— Fics where the reader is the main character [reader x canon & reader x oc]

Resident Evil Village

Lunchbreak: Male!Lord!Reader x Karl Heisenberg — ♡

Tearful: Features GN!Reader and The Duke — □

Doll: Features GN!Reader and Salvatore Moreau — □

Dating Karl Heisenberg: GN!Reader x Karl Heisenberg — Headcannons ♡

Far Cry 5

Between the Pages: GN!Reader x John Seed — ♡

You're Important to Me Idiot: Male!Deputy!Reader x Sharky Boshaw — ◇♡

Hope County Residents Dating a Plus-Size, Pre-op Trans Man hc's: M!Reader x John Seed, Jacob Seed, Joseph Seed, Faith Seed, Jerome Jeffries, Sharky Boshaw, Mary May Fairgrave, Adelaide Drubman, Grace Armstrong, Eli Palmer — Headcannons ♡♤

Nights Like These: GN!Reader x Jacob Seed — ♡

Through the Pouring Rain: GN!Reader x John Seed — ♡

By The Fire: GN!Reader x Grace Armstrong — ♤ [Oral]

Good Boy: GN!Reader x Sharky Boshaw — ♤ [Praise, Doggy Style]

Intermission: GN!Reader x Nick Rye — ♤ [Public Handjob]

After Hours: GN!Reader x Joey Hudson — ♤ [Fingering, Oral]

You, Me and a Bottle of Whiskey: GN!Reader x Mary May Fairgrave — ♤♡ [Accidental Stimulation]

Caught Up In You: GN!Reader x John Seed — ♤◇☆ [Thigh fucking, Doggy Style, Barebacking, Creampie]

I Always Come Back to You Don't I?: GN!Reader x Eli Palmer — ♡◇

Tongue Tied: M!Reader x Faith Seed— ♡□

Dusk Till Dawn – Part 1: GN!Reader x John Seed — ◇♡

Marvel

Ouroboros — Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6: GN!Reader x Wade W. Wilson — ♧◇♡

[spookyspecterino]

Unconditional

John Seed x !GN Reader

Warnings: Mild NSFW, some very light angst (but with a happy ending), language, John and the deputy obviously being in love with one another.

Word Count: 4.7K

John is caught off-guard by a surprise visit from the deputy and they confess something he wasn't expecting. Will this be a turning point for him?

A/N: You cannot tell me John Seed isn't a soft boy deep down. I refuse to believe otherwise. I will throw hands over this.

John Seed is a monster of the worst kind—one that parades around wearing human flesh and a handsome face. The kind that knows how attractive he is, so he uses it to his advantage, lures in his unsuspecting prey with kind eyes and a charming smile. Because to them, he looks normal—handsome as a devil and sweet, but he wears a well-made mask that’s been perfected throughout his life. All the while, underneath the surface, evil writhes and boils—twisting and turning in him like a restless beast.

He's aware of this too. Aware of the sinful desires that lurk just beneath his skin—the barely controlled urges that seem to grow day after day with no relent in sight. And his hands. Oh, the horrors they have committed—that they have yet to commit. John believes he gave up that life long ago, but the lingering tendencies and habits rear their ugly heads and plunge him back into a drowning despair.

John wants to be good—for Joseph, to make his brother proud, to make him happy. Everything he does is for Joseph—for his brother’s love. Every atonement, while albeit satisfying for John, has been, ultimately, for Joseph. His approval, his attention, his praise, his love is what John wishes for.

The constant battle for control over his sins run him ragged. Control slips from his grasp as his desires grow, as urges become stronger. Undoubtedly, Joseph sees this in John. He sees everything—he is The Father. Which is why his love requires John to be good, to suppress, and to maintain control. In the wake of these requirements, John is left feeling insufficient, no matter how hard he tries.

As John sits on his bed in the Seed Ranch, leaning over with elbows on his knees and his hands folded into prayer, he asks God to guide him; to give him something that will aid this internal battle that rages ever on and lead him to salvation.

A piercing beep, accompanied by a static filled voice from the radio on his hip cuts through his brooding thoughts and prayers, “Sir, the deputy has been seen crossing the river into the Holland Valley. Looks like they were coming from Herald Jacob’s region. Should we pursue?”

Teeth grind and gnash against one another as his wrath flares to life, but it’s quickly replaced by another sin that’s carved into him. John very slowly unhooks the radio from his hip, keeping particular attention to his grasp. He’s broken quite a few before.

“Yes, I want eyes on them from the air. Engage with bliss bullets when they’re far enough from the river that they can’t double back. I want them alive.” His speeding pulse grows louder as he speaks through gritted teeth “Do not fail me—or I will have you in for confession again, Captain.”

Quickly, he clicks the radio to another frequency, one that’s reserved and most of the time silent, except for special occasions such as these. His previous sulking now completely forgotten—breathing heavily, mind racing, he waits eagerly, finger hovering over the button. This was one of the parts he looked forward to most; the beginning of their cat and mouse game. The anticipation vibrates through his entire being as he imagines seeing his deputy again. The chance for Joseph’s love, lies with them.

Other radios on his dresser nearby chatter and squawk, but John isn’t listening. He remains sitting on the edge of his bed, bent over, almost cradling his radio, finger still hovering, waiting—

The speakers beep, and an angry voice crackles through the receiver “John fucking Seed—“

A sin-filled grin tears its way across his face.

“—I swear to Christ, get your planes off my ass or so help me God I will shoot them out of the sky!”

He notices his deputy sounds out of breath, which only serves to delight him. Slowly standing from his bed, he takes his time to respond—knowing full well that pisses them off even more. He has the advantage and he revels in it.

Drawing out his words as if he’s already won, “Well, well. If it isn’t the deputy, how nice of you to visit.”

“I’m warning you John!” the loud roar of a plane is heard in the background just as they end the message and it fills John with a sort of giddiness.

His grin seeps into his tone, giving away how positively beaming he is “What brings you to Holland Valley, my dear?”

There’s a dripping sarcasm to their voice “You know I can’t stay away for long.”

A twisted feeling of warmth creeps through his chest, he decides to respond in kind “It’s always a pleasure.”

“It’s not exactly pleasurable for me—” Their message cuts off with the sound of gunfire, but resumes after a few seconds “—with these fuckin’ planes shooting at me!”

“Deputy…” he lightly scolds “You should know that this is customary for your visits. Especially after last time.” Memories of how furious he had been after the deputy had blown up three of his silos plays back in his mind, but the anger had long since disappeared, replaced with his desire to see them again “No, I’m afraid that you’ll have to be closely watched from now on.”

“Hmm, still sore about that, John?”

He clenched his jaw, hearing them rub his loss in was a sure-fire way to bring back that spark of anger “I have moved past it, but you’re on thin ice.”

“Well, you know me. What better way to display my wrath than blowing up my favorite rival’s stuff?”

John did his best not to get hung up on the ‘favorite rival’ bit, no doubt it’s what they wanted him to focus on “Oh, I do know you, deputy. After your atonement, I’ll know you even better.”

“As much as I look forward to that—you’ll have to catch me first.” They were absolutely grinning as they spoke and John felt himself matching it.

An idea suddenly raced through John’s head and he voiced it without thinking it through fully, more interested in hearing their reaction, “This would be a lot easier if you cooperated…Why don’t you make this easier on yourself and come to me? It would save us both so much trouble.”

“Ah, but I like trouble, John.”

“My pilots will not stop following you, day or night. Eventually, you’ll get tired—you might be getting to that point already. If you come here, you can avoid the nasty business of getting shot and dragged to me.” he smirked, leaning on his dresser and imagining that the deputy was in front of him now “Do you understand? No matter what, you and I will be seeing each other soon.”

“Uh huh, you might have a point, but where—fuck!“ the sound of heavy gunfire cuts them off momentarily, but they’re back after a few long, pounding heartbeats “—Where might you be right now? Bunker? Or that snazzy ranch?” There’s a breathless laugh from their end “I’ll tell you right now, you’re not trapping me in that goddamn bunker again!”

 “As luck would have it, I’m at my ranch—“

“Oh ho! John Seed are you asking me to come over? How scandalous!” the grin in the deputy’s voice is audible as they tease him “What would Joseph say?”

At the mention of Joseph, John becomes irritated. Automatic feelings of anxiety—the nauseating fear of letting his brother down—claws its way to the forefront of his mind, ruining the superiority he felt.

Without meaning to, his rising feelings give an edge to his reply “This is about your atonement!”

Of course, they’re quick to pick up on it “Uh oh, touchy subject, my sincerest apologies! What did he do now? Give you a lecture about how to do your job again or—“

“Deputy!” he growled through gritted teeth “Meet me at my ranch—if you can decide to act civil.”

Their immediate response of hysterical laughter, heard even over sporadic gunfire, made John’s face heat up to a bright red.

“Me? I’m not the one who has trouble acting civil! And even so, hypothetically, if I’m gonna come pay you a visit, I need some assurances.”

“Such as…?”

“Obviously no guns—and no guards… no crazy, shirtless henchmen waiting to knock me out… no knives, no tattoo needles, no—“

“—Ok, ok. I understand.”

“And there will be no tying me up in a chair this time! I mean it. You’ll have to play nice.”

John couldn’t help it as sin burned in him, he would pray for forgiveness later, but right now, he was focused on their game. Lord knows, the deputy is his weakness. John moved the radio close to his mouth, adding to his challenging tone “And what happens if I don’t play nice?”

There was a moment of silence from the other end, was the deputy simply running again or were they contemplating an answer?

Their reply mirrored his challenge, sending pleasant shivers up his spine “You don’t want to find out, John Seed.”

“Oh, but I do, Deputy. I really, really do.”

More silence. Longer this time.

Then, a low chuckle through the speakers, and John realized they didn’t sound out of breath anymore. There was no background noise of crashing through underbrush or gunfire either. It was eerily quiet, giving their words an even stronger sense of tension.

“Are you indulging me and my sin of wrath?”

John began to tremble, jittery from excitement, but his voice held firm “I am…”

“Hm. You’re playing a dangerous game, John… I have other sins—maybe you would have a better time if you were to indulge those instead?”

John suddenly found himself breathless, almost panting “What sins would those be?”

When he was met with silence again he felt gnawing impatience and disappointment eat at him. It struck him hard as the seconds ticked on, turning into minutes, hard enough that he was about to click on the radio again and ask—

“It starts with an ‘L’, I’m sure it’s been carved into you somewhere.”

John whirled around to see his deputy standing on the balcony outside that connected to his room, the evening rays of gold lit them from behind, giving them a halo of light. And, not for the first time, John was suddenly hyper aware of just how beautiful the deputy is. Dirt and grass stained their jacket and pants, cuts and rips littered every article of their clothing, their hair looked tousled and wild, but all those imperfections only served to fiercely compliment them.

John struggled to find something to say, shaken and caught off guard by their sudden presence. He hadn’t really believed they would show up here. The deputy simply smiled and strode into his bedroom as if they owned it, closing the glass paned double doors behind them with a soft click. And that was another thing; their absolute, resounding confidence. His ranch was one of the most fortified places in Hope County, and they just walked right into his room with a big smile. It was enough to make his knees weak.

“Hello John. Oh, no need to worry, we agreed to be civil for this visit, remember?” They tilted their head surveying his room casually “But next time—next time I’m afraid you’re out of luck.”

John’s voice came out as nothing more than a breath “Deputy…”

Their eyes, glowing with the reflection of the sun, shifted to meet his, and he felt as if an angel from heaven itself was present.

“Did I frighten you?” their question was soft as they began to take careful, slow steps toward John.

“You simply startled me…I didn’t believe you would actually come.” John whispered again. What was wrong with him, why couldn’t he speak normally?

“Ah, so I surprised you?” their eyes flashed an emotion that was too quick to decipher as they took another step, closing the distance to within 10 paces.

“Yes. I would say that—”

“—Now, you can image my surprise every time a plane shows up over my head and tries to shoot me, even when I haven’t been in the valley for 15 minutes.”

His words come out smoothly as he works to regain his composure “That doesn’t sound nearly as pleasant as this has been, Deputy.”

They turn their head away, trying to hide a smile, but John sees it anyway. It’s contagious and he finds himself smiling too. Strong desire rises in him, but it’s not the usual, sinful feeling. He wanted to see that smile more often, to make his deputy smile like that for him and him alone. Briefly, fantasies of falling asleep to that smile and waking to see it every morning warmed his entire body. But with a blink he banished them, it was fanciful thinking that would only lead to trouble.

He feels a question roll off his tongue without even meaning to ask, “Why did you come?” He could hardly believe it came from him, was his body working on its own now, separate from his mind?

Those beautiful eyes blinked, and John could see they didn’t know, or at least they didn’t have a ready answer “Well, first off—you asked me to. So, not to avoid your question, but, why did you invite me?”

Now it was his turn to search for an answer, when he asked them to come to his ranch it was truly a decision he had made in the moment. Another involuntary act, probably not the last. Now, he was left floundering for words as his deputy took a step toward him, “I…I would say it’s for your atonement…”

“Ah, but I told you—you’d have to play nice this time…” They studied him closely, “So, saying that would be a lie…”

“Yes.” John breathed out, shivers racing down his back at the way the deputy’s smile stretched across their face as he said the word they both wanted to hear.

“Hm…please, go on, John...”

“I suppose… I just wanted to see you.” When their brows began to lift John cleared his throat, trying to downplay his words, ”—I was told you were coming from Jacob’s region. I simply wanted to ensure that brute hadn’t maimed you to the point that there was nothing left.”

“How sweet, but don’t you worry about me and that old grump, we had our fun.” When the deputy saw John’s expression darken at their words, their eyes gleamed ��Aw, please don’t be jealous, John… the fun you and I have—your brother couldn’t even get close to it.”

He hated the part of him that felt proud of that—hated how the feeling of jealousy ebbed at the honey-like sound of their words—and he hated how desperate he was for them to continue.

As if reading his mind, they did. “Truth be told, I wanted to see you too.” A grin flashed at him “But I don’t have any kind of excuse as to why. We’ll just chalk it up to desire.”

John felt his knees begin to go weak and his voice trembled ever so slightly “Is this the start of a confession I hear?”

They took another step toward him, closing the distance to just out of arm’s reach “Mmm, you would love that, wouldn’t you?”

He felt as if his world was spinning as he fell victim to his deputy’s spell “…I would.”

They gave him a brilliant smile, making John’s heart flutter like a teenager, “Well then, as a reward for playing nice, I’ll give you a little confession… do you want that, Baptist?”

He was putty in their hands now “Yes.”

They laughed, a sound John wished he could hear a thousand times more, “I have desire, John, except it’s not what you’d expect…” their eyes scanned his face, studying it for any kind of reaction as they took another step toward him, “It’s more…pure of heart…”

“…I don’t understand.”

“I didn’t either, for a while. I thought I was crazy.” They very carefully reached a hand up to John’s chest, glancing down and back up to his eyes, as if asking permission.

To his own surprise he felt himself move into their touch, pressing into their calloused, warm hand. A spark of surprise flashed through their expression but was replaced with something else that John couldn’t identify. He felt them trace along his SLOTH scar with a featherlight touch, raising goosebumps on his arms.

Continuing, with a sigh, “I want to show you what it’s like to be loved—and not the kind that Joseph gives you…” they smirk, wrinkling their nose a little “I mean, not like the sibling kind of love—hopefully you know what I mean, I don’t want to clarify—"

John was already shaking his head in disbelief “I still don’t understand.”

“Do I really have to explain? I think it’s pretty clear—"

John placed a firm hand over theirs on his chest, “Deputy, I don’t understand why you would want to show me what it’s like to be loved…”

“Oh…well,” they blinked once or twice to focus themselves “I see how Joseph uses his love as a reward. It’s terribly unfair to you, after…” their voice gently trails off “…everything…”

The deputy no doubt felt John’s pulse hammering in his chest now, a flurry of different emotions confuses him, and he’s left speechless, staring down at the deputy. He feels them start to rub small circles on his chest under his own hand, still pressed into theirs.

His voice is a rasp, the words are painful to say “What would you know…”

“Oh John, I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through—and I don’t know what that’s like…but I have seen the way Joseph treats you; I have heard the things he says to you—and noticed the effects.” Their other hand comes up to hold the side of his neck, and he sighs a little at the warmth. The deputy’s eyes plead with him “He commands you to love others, but the only example you have to go off of is his own twisted version.”

John’s posture begins to sag under weight of their words. Deep in the back of his mind, he feels truth to this. His eyes close very slowly, suddenly exhausted.

The deputy’s thumb grazes against his jaw, soft breath caresses his lips “If you really had Joseph’s love and returned it…would he have to even ask you to devote your life to him?”

The hand on his chest slides up to hold the other side of his jaw, scratching along his beard, “You need someone…let me be that person for you.” When he doesn’t answer, letting his head droop forward, his nose slides against theirs and he can feel the ghostly touch of their lips on his “Please… let me in. Let me love you, John.” There’s a soft chuckle, a whisp of air against his mouth “All you have to say is yes.”

A light groan escaped from him, and irony twisted his lips into a lopsided smile. Cracking his eyes open just enough to look down at them, “I am not a good man…”

“Real love is unconditional. You take a person as they are—”

John closed the distance, pressing his mouth to the deputy’s, cutting off their sentence and swallowing the rest of their words as his lips mold to theirs. There was a sigh of relief from them as their arms wrapped around his neck, pulling their bodies together. His hands found their side and he gripped them fiercely, fingers digging into the fabric of their deputy uniform.

God how he wanted this.

All those sinful desires that were John’s constant companion were not present now. The urges that clawed at him day and night, vanished. Fears of not being good enough, not being able to make Joseph happy—had melted away. Replaced by something warm and whole.

Images of what very well could happen, flashed behind John’s closed eyes. Dancing together under a brilliant, star-filled night as fireflies lit the air around them—holding them in his arms on the bedroom floor as they watched rain fall outside on the balcony—laying his head in their lap on cool summer evenings, listening to the crickets’ chirp outside as he dozes off.

Yes. That’s what he wants.

As the deputy’s fingers curl through his hair, John moans softly and wraps his arms around the small of their back, leaning down over them as his lips hungrily devour theirs. He needed this—the lightweight feeling of freedom from sin, from his doubts and insecurities. Is this what the deputy meant? Is this what they wanted to show him?

John wasn’t sure. Caught up in the moment, he had trouble trying to hold onto any coherent thoughts as they opened their mouth and allowed his tongue to graze against theirs. The soft moan they made sent sparks of electricity buzzing through him. John couldn’t help but moan himself when he felt their thigh rub against his hardening erection.

Whether on purpose or not, it spurred him into action. John broke the kiss to bend down and pick the deputy—his deputy up, wrapping their legs around him and holding them tight under the thighs. He resumed kissing them—their hands coming up to grab his face and pull it to theirs, as he moved backward. Spinning around, he pushed them into the wooden wall with a thump.

They both moaned as their hips grinded into each other up against the wall. John felt feelings of giddiness begin to rise in him at the realization that this was really happening. Moving his lips to their neck he nipped and sucked at the skin, leaving purple and red marks all the way down to their shoulder. Fingers tugged hard at his hair and he let out another moan, louder this time.

As his deputy grinded their hips down on his, he growled into their ear between kisses “You don’t know how badly I’ve wanted this—how long I’ve waited.”

There was a breathy laugh as their forehead leaned down to rest against his temple “I think I do, John.”

He bit down on their shoulder as they bucked their hips against him, his breath was coming out in ragged pants now, “God, you drive me wild.”

Faintly, John registered one of his radios on his dresser beep and a voice chatter through it, but his heavy breathing and the motion of his hips grinding into his deputy quickly took over any thoughts he had. One of his hands snaked down their leg, gripping and clawing at the fabric.

Hands tugged on his hair “John… your radio…I think…oh.”

He was working at the belt of their pants and had slipped a hand down inside, groaning as he slid against them and felt their warmth. Hearing their words cut off by a loud moan made him grin devilishly, “Hm? What was that, my dear?”

Their words came out between gasps as his fingers began to work them over “Your—ah…radio…”

John chuckled darkly, pressing open-mouthed kisses along their collar bones “It’s not important…not compared to you.”

They laughed softly, pressing their parted lips into his hair as they fought for breath, rubbing themselves into his hand “That’s sweet…but it sounds like Jos—”

A very familiar voice called for him downstairs “John?”

Both of them froze, ice creeping into John’s veins at the sound of Joseph’s voice. The wooden stairs on the way up to the second floor creaked ominously.

“Fuck!” he hissed through gritted teeth.

His deputy unhooked their legs from around him and dropped softly on their feet, scrambling to redo their belt. John ran a hand through his hair a few times, flattening it back into shape and tried his best to un-ruffle his clothes.

He felt strong hands bring his head down and lips crash into his, gentle words brushed against his mouth “Remember what I said,” and then his deputy was gone. Speeding through the double doors and flying over the balcony into the cool evening with one agile leap, taking his heart along with them.

The doors to his room opened and John spun around to see his brother Joseph walking through, a frown twisting his features. Even though the evening light was dim, the sun dipping almost completely under the horizon, he still wore those yellow aviators.

It unnerved the hell out of John.

Reaching back to a different time, he conjured up his best lawyer etiquette. Applying that practiced façade he would use if he was ever caught off-guard in a courtroom.

“Joseph!” he greeted warmly with a smile, sinking into the act like he would an old armchair, “I apologize, it seems that you’ve caught me by surprise.”

His brother walked slowly into the room, scanning it with a quick glance. John saw the suspicion behind the action and it stung a little, obscured blue eyes fell on him “That wasn’t my intention. I wanted to stop by and check in on you. I called on the radio—several times…” he glanced to the dresser where it sat “…but you didn’t answer.”

“Ah,” John feigned a look of dismay, he opted not to outright lie to his brother, sticking as close to the truth as he could “I was deep in prayer, asking for The Lord’s guidance.”

Joseph’s stance seemed to soften a little “In regards to what?”

With a sigh, John turned to look out at the balcony “The Deputy… they’re…” his voice trailed off as memories played through his mind, the feeling of their skin on his lips, the sound of their moans.

There was a soft “Ah,” from Joseph, taking John’s silence as an implication that he may be struggling. Joseph joined him, standing next to his little brother and looking out “You are working diligently in your effort to catch them, have faith that you will succeed, if you learn to—”

“—if I learn to control myself and let love into my heart. Yes, I believe I’m starting to understand.”

“Good” Joseph sounded genuinely pleased and it warmed John. He couldn’t help but glance at his brother from the corner of his eye. Joseph was stoic, standing next to him with the poise of a leader. As John looks at his brother, he can’t help but sense that something is different, there’s a feeling of change.

…would he have to even ask you to devote your life to him?

His deputy’s words rang in his head like church bells. They were right.

They stood in silence for some time, watching the last of the light disappear behind the mountains. When the stars dotted the night sky Joseph sighed, “Well, I don’t want to disturb your prayers any longer—I’m sorry for intruding.”

John turned to his older brother, that feeling of change and the knowledge that nothing will be the same again, threatens to overwhelm him—but he finishes his act with grace “It wasn’t a problem, Joseph. Thank you for stopping by.”

Joseph offered him a smile, and gently pulled John’s head to his, leaning their foreheads together. Something was lingering in John, bittersweet and aching as he watched Joseph leave. What that feeling was caused by, he didn’t know. He’d have to think it over some more, maybe talk to his deputy about it.

As Joseph’s car disappeared down the dirt trail leading away from The Seed Ranch, John’s racing thoughts calmed, focused on one thing. Speedily walking over to his dresser, he grabbed two radios, clipping one to his waist and holding the other.

Triple checking the frequency was correct, he brought it to his lips with a wry grin—this was his favorite part of their game “Deputy…”

Their beaming response was quicker than any previous “John Seed…”

“Where have you run off to, my dear?”

“Hah, gonna send planes out to come get me, John? I thought we were past that.”

“Oh, we are darling, I’ll be coming for you myself this time.”

“Ahh…isn’t that flattering. Well, as luck would have it, I’m at my cabin right now.”

He was already grabbing his coat “Stay right there—I’ll see you soon, Deputy.”

[lethalchiralium]

Wanna Be Myself | Jacob Seed x GN!Reader

a/n: don’t question it ok i am not well lol

inspo: wanna be myself by g-eazy

warnings: drug use, drugging, cussing, hurk and sharky being little shits, depression, suicide, suicidal thoughts, death

summary: how does one forget how to be themselves?

“Fuck this shit. Let’s go see Tweak.”

That was your third, fourth, fifth, and sixth mistake right there. One little sentence has you in a mannequin town, chasing pigs with baseball bats and completely fucked up on whatever drug Tweak had came up with now. Hurk was drinking away in a mine-cart and Sharky was failing epically at even catching a pig. Your entire body felt like a cloud and everything felt so funny, and so fast. Could you run this fast before?

Your bat kept hitting the ground and with every hit, a giggle left your lips. “Piggy! Come here!”

“Nooo! Don’t hurt ‘em!” Sharky shrieked, almost barreling into you as he launched himself forwards, trying to jump into the pig but he missed by a good two feet. You stumbled over him, trying not to kick his face and fell onto your front, rolling onto your back as laughter filled your chest and the air around your friends. Tweak slid down his ladder and raced over to you and Sharky - he couldn’t stop giggling.

“Come on Dep, try again!” Tweak whined and you waved your bat in the air, the world spinning again. You slammed the bat down, hitting Sharky in his chest and as he cried out in pain, you howled with laughter. You physically couldn’t stop laughing as Tweak scoffed, running off and yelling to Hurk, “Don’t get out of that cart!”

“That hurt!” Sharky sounded like a child and you moved to hit your bat on the ground again, the loud thump made your giggles multiply.

“Li-Listen to the thonk!”

Again and again, the bat hit the ground with the ‘thonk’, the howls of laughter were almost enough to attract wolves or bears - something that could kill you. The pigs squealed from across the field which angered Hurk from his little cart.

You didn’t even realize Hurk was there until you got him with your bat right in the nuts. He screamed and dropped the radio he was holding - your radio - and crumbled into a ball on the floor. You were screeching like a hyena, Sharky was barely even breathing at that point.

“Right in my nuts, man! Why’d you do that?!” Hurk was barely even speaking, you didn’t even care. All you could hear was the thump of the bat and someone talking through static.

“Deputy, answer me.”

A spark of joy set your body ablaze with happiness like a golden retriever, you looked towards the radio that sat near your head. While you kept hitting the bat and grabbed the radio, trying to press in the button but it was already stuck there.

“Hi baby!” Like a sweet bird’s song, you chirped to Jacob Seed, the man asking directly for you. “Hiiii.”

“Yes, hi, sweetheart. Where are you?”

You covered the receiver, like it would do anything, and stopped hitting the bat on the ground. “Do we know where we are?”

“Probably at Jesus.” Sharky answered and another loud cackle erupted from your lips, hearing Hurk’s muffled laughing as his face sat in the dirt. “I don’t know where he put us. Can we go and get froyo, Po-Po?”

Hurk laughed as he repeated, “Froyo! Po-Po! Froyo! Po-Po!”

He continued his chant as you leaned into the radio again, a smile on your face. “Wh-yy do ya wanna know?”

“Because…”

Sharky’s hand smacked your head, trying to hit Hurk but it only had you let out a rough laugh, “Watch it, Pyro!”

“Shut up!” Sharky answered, which earned a hit from the bats in the balls, just like Hurk. You cackled like a madman, the man whimpering in pain.

“Deputy, where are you?” Jacob’s voice was sweet, just like candy. You leaned into the radio again.

“I think I’m in the Henba- Sharly!”

Sharky had snatched your bat and rolled over a few times, farther away from your grasp. “It’s Sharky!”

“Give me my baaat!”

“Let’s go, Hurk! She’s gonna kill us!” Sharky bellowed and Hurk rolled too, they rolled away a few yards, cackling and talking as a sadness pooled in your chest.

“No fun.” You mumbled, arm rested over your eyes. “This was supposed to be fun and now I feel is sad and stupid and sad.” You let out a cough, a tickle in your throat. You put the radio next to your head and dug for your phone in your jacket.

The screen was too bright, you didn’t mind too much. The fuzzy, funny feeling was now gone, all you felt was small.

“I just wanna...” You had opened your photo gallery and looked at photos from years ago. Your hair was longer, a brighter color and your smile was real. Others were when you had short and dark hair, another was from your ex-boyfriend’s phone. A candid of you smiling somewhere sunny, your head was too fuzzy to remember. You loved that jacket and those shoes, you didn’t know where they went. Not like you could wear them anyway; you were the Deputy. You weren’t Y/N L/N who beat up bullies for fun in high school, or the one who shot a firework off in a corn field, or the one who hated where they grew up.

You were Rook now. The Deputy. The Savior created by God.

“I just wanna be myself.”

You shut off your phone and the radio came to life again.

“What do you mean?” Jacob’s voice echoed in your ear, you could hear the engine of his truck in the background.

“I hate the Bliss,” You answered, setting your phone on your stomach. “The stuff Tweak gave me - I just wanted something ‘cause I just wanna be myself.” You sniffled and moved your arm away from your eyes, seeing Hurk and Sharky begin to play sword fighting with the bats. “I never take the uniform off, I never fucking clock out.”

“Can you wait for me?”

“You’ll never understand.” A whisper came from your lips, looking up to the sky, watching the stars twinkle. “You never ever have to know what it feels like to forget how to be yourself.”

“Depu-teeee!” Hurk called from somewhere, your head was starting to hurt.

“I just want to do these fuckin’ drugs tonight ‘cause I just wanna be myself. I used to travel everywhere and I used to love someone with everything I had and I- I had a life. I didn’t have a purpose and I didn’t care - I wanted to stay who I was for forever ‘cause I was happy.” Tears fell down your cheek. “I really miss myself.”

The silence from the man you loved hurt. Even if he was listening, he could never love the real you. He loved the Deputy. He loves the Deputy.

“Decide now what you think of me, Jacob Seed.” You whispered. “You really think you love me? No one loves me, no one knows me; Everyone who did has either died or killed themselves.” A sniffle came from you. “I forgot how to be myself. You love the Deputy, Rook, Little Bird - how do you do that? Love a version of me and not me? I mean, fuck - this whole time - no one has asked my name. No one cares. I know you don’t.”

Jacob coughed, whispering softly to you. “Let me know you.”

“How can I if I don’t know how to be me anymore? That person who fucking watched their husband kill himself for years and kill your friends and then finally off himself in front of you. How could you love someone who had to throw themselves away and rewrite a new character? Here’s the answer-“

“Stop it.”

“You fucking can’t.”

The sound of tires stopping and the following footfalls were loud, you didn’t care. You wanted another dose. Maybe a couple more after that. You were confronting yourself because it made you feel better. Degrading yourself made you feel better.

Jacob stood over you now, your eyes hazing over as tears kept falling.

“Rafe was right. I’m damaged goods and I can’t help that.”

He kneeled near your head, tossing your radio away as his hands settled on your cheeks and your eyes really looked for his. His hands reached under your arms, pulling you to him and you turned, wrapping your arms around his neck.

You missed the syringe plunging into your neck until the rush of something through your blood made you let out a small cry. Everything kept getting fuzzier, your legs wrapped around his hips as your tears stained his jacket.

“I really miss myself, Jake.”

———

Copyright © 2022 lethalchiralium. All rights reserved.

[lethalchiralium]

Wicked Game | Sam Drake x GN! Reader

a/n: part one of this??????? set in fc 5! also technically a jacob seed x reader but not this part

warnings: cussing, guns, the seedlings, sexual themes and undertones :)

summary: Sam Drake is sometimes too stupid for his own good.

You spotted the parachute.

He was here, he fucking shouldn’t be but he is.

Your legs were burning from running, but you couldn’t stop now; Hell, Jacob, John, and Joseph were running after you. You needed him, you could hear the calls of the Father.

“Little one, you have to stop sometime.”

“Sam!” You screamed at the top of your lungs, obviously giving away your position but you were only a few yards away from where the parachute was mangled in trees.

Why did he come? You told him not to. It wasn’t safe anymore.

“Bonny!”

You have never thanked God so graciously when you saw that man, chestnut hair and bomber jacket with splatters of blood. You burst out of the trees and over the few branches and into his open arms, almost knocking him down with the force of your sprint.

“I told you not to come, Avery!“ You scolded as soon as you let go of him, pulling off one of your rifles. He pulled it all the way off of you, tugging it onto his own person.

“Not the last time I’ll be in a war zone, Bonny.” He answered, brandishing his pistol and he gazed into your eyes. “Are you okay?”

“Sam-“ You began but he shook his head.

“Don’t fucking start it, I don’t need it.” He answered sharply, looking behind you and raising his gun, effectively making you raise your shotgun.

There stood pretty boy John Seed, a smirk on his face as his older brothers, Jacob and Joseph, stopped right beside him. The topless messiah smiled.

“Avery-“ You whispered, gently to him.

“Bonny, what the fuck is going on here?” Sam barked, glancing to you with a wildly confused glare.

“It would seem our little lamb has found a trespasser.” Joseph spoke, calm; you snarled.

“Fuck off. Can you leave me to deal with him for a fucking moment? Could you do that?” You mocked, turning to Sam. “I told you again and again.”

“It’s like you have ever listened to me before. Libertalia? Panama? Brazil, to name a few.” He scoffed. “What am I supposed to do if my spouse is playing war with a fucking cult in Montana? Just sit at the house and twiddle my fuckin’ thumbs?” He whispered now, anger blazed in his eyes. “It’s time to come home.”

“You’re not pulling another fucking Libertalia!” You snapped loud. “I am not pulling another Panama either- why the fuck are you here?!”

“Okay, Bonny, first, let’s get the guns off us, huh?” He answered, pointing at the two arms Seed brothers and their leader, who was watching patiently and curiously.

Their heads moved back to the Seedlings, and the Deputy only tugged at their husband to move back.

“We have to leave. My backup is on the way but-“

“Your name is Bonnie?” Joseph echoed and your eyes sharped at him.

“Avery, let’s go.”

Sam glanced to you, then back to the three men. “What is your fucking deal?”

“Oh, so now you’re pulling a fucking Hoysala! I should’ve fucking called Chloe for God’s sake-“

“She’s dealing with something, and don’t fucking say Nadine. I would’ve cut my head off before I let you call her.” Sam answered, just as smart back to you. It was entertaining to watch from the Seedlings, the eldest and youngest bore surprised expressions while the middle was still stoic - observing.

“Shut up, the both of you.” Barked Jacob, re-aiming his rifle at you, while Sam stepped in front of you, shielding you. “Who the fuck are you?”

“I am none of your fucking business.” Sam snarled and you almost hit him - why must he always wish to be shot?

“You’re gonna get yourself shot, you imbecile.” You mumbled, placing the barrel near your trigger of your gun on Sam’s shoulder, aiming right for John.

“Oh c’mon, sweet Rook, pointing your gun at me?” John laughed, cocking his gun and pointing it at Sam. “Even after all those nights of you screaming my name?”

“He’s bluffing, Sam, I wouldn’t touch a hair on his reptile head.” You whispered into Sam’s ear. “They’re snakes. Don’t trust any one of them.”

“I wouldn’t blame you for honestly any of them.” Sam answered and you barked out a laugh.

“Would you tell us what the fuck is going on, Deputy?” John yelled, you only laughed again.

“Whitehorse and Jerome are on their way, boys, you can keep pointing your guns at my pretty little face or you can hightail it out of here before you get caught.” You chirped. “Avery here is a hell of a shot.”

“So we’re sticking with the pirate thing?” You smacked his head and the treasure hunter barked out in pain, eyeing you sharply. “You got a smoke grenade?”

“Of course, you gonna shoot it so we can fuckin’ leave?”

“You better explain this whole thing.” He answered, watching the shirtless man stare at him with an intensity he couldn’t quite place. “This might top the Vatican.”

“Stop talking and I’ll think about telling you what’s going on.” You holstered your rifle, replacing it with your own pistol and you free a smoke grenade.

“Deputy! We’re almost there - what’s your status!” Whitehorse sounded in your radio and a smile drew on your face. You pulled the pin.

“Hey Seedlings - you can do whatever you want to me if you can catch me!”

The grenade lobbed over your two, exploding mid-air from Sam’s bullet, the both of you bolted as soon as the smoke bloomed. You knew Jacob would be on you but Sam was right behind you, almost as fast as you.

You could see the red and blue lights, and freedom never tasted so sweet.

——————

It wasn’t until you stopped the car in the woods near the jail that Sam placed his hand on your cheek. Gentle like always, you melted into his touch as his lips connected with yours. The bitter taste of his cigarette and sweet taste of whatever his drink was was delicious. It was safe to say you missed him.

“What- Fuck, baby,” You pushed him down onto the seat of the old car, throwing your belt and into the backseat. You set your radio on the dash, trying to make sure it wasn’t able to hear whatever noises you decided to make next. You didn’t really care, you set it to a random frequency.

“I told you not to come for me.” His hands held your hips, trying to make you pause but you didn’t fucking care. You huffed, “Let go of me- you know how hard it is to get off without you?”

“I’m flattered, sweetheart, but the fact of the matter is-“ he was cut short by your knee in between his legs, he let out a short grunt.

Your eyes have never been sharper and your hand grabbed his jaw, pressing in your fingernails. “If you fucking say that Nate or Sully was worried about me, I’ll blow my damn head off.”

“Am I not allowed to check up on you?” He snapped, letting out a groan as you allowed his hands to roam your pants. He was so easily satisfied. “I haven’t had a word from you since Detroit and I got- well, nervous. Fuck, can’t you just-“

You smashed your hand right on his crotch, making him yelp out and snapped, “I’ll fuck you in a second, but I told you I’d be fine! Just a little job, that’s all.”

“Bet that’s what you said when I asked you about Shangri-La! God, just unbutton- Fuck!”

You began to unbuckle his belt, his hand grabbed your cheek. “The three men are a part of a cult, but the main one, the Father,” you seethed, bit your lip as the buckle kept wanting to play with you, “His rosary? He took it from a church in Jerusalem; it’s a key to unlocking-“

“Wait wait wait-“ Pushing your hands away from his problem, pushing you off of him and forcing you to sit up. You let out a loud whine of protest as Sam smiled. “God, I knew I married a thieving genius. How much is it worth?”

“Only seen it through pictures but it was what I thought it was; the rosary off of a priest the Gunsway had imprisoned after a trip to Jerusalem from Mecca and-“ Sam placed kisses all up and down your neck, you laughed as you threw your arms around his neck. “Avery recovered it and sold it and fu-uuck!” Sam sank his teeth into your neck, chewing feverishly. Giggles left your mouth as you continued, “Got a pretty penny and God knows where it went from there but here it is, tangled up in a half-naked religious zealot, who is probably a good lay.”

“God, I love it when you talk history to me.” Sam almost purred, almost popping off all of the buttons of your uniform as he ripped it open. “I fuckin’ missed that smart brain of yours.”

“It’s worth at least forty million, more than enough for us to uncover the rest of Avery’s treasure.” It was honey to Sam’s ears and he was quick to undo your pants too. “Once a thief-“

“Sh-ut up and let me fuck you already.”

“No no no, hold o-“ Peeling his hands off of you, and holding them away and placing your head on Sam’s forehead. “Are you seriously letting me fuck religious zealots?”

“Fuck no.” Sam answered and he sharply laughed. “Was trying to make you smile.”

“You got me excited for nothing.”

He sweetly chuckled, knowing your joking tone before he went back for your neck, whispering, “It’s never for nothin’, baby.”

———

Copyright © 2022 lethalchiralium. All rights reserved.