#jackson vandekamp | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

blackcoffeeandteardrops · 6 years ago

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Slow and Steady

You know those stories that grab ahold of you and refuse to let go? This is one of those stories. I do have a request or two I promise to try and fulfill in the next few days, but this will have to do for now. Under the cut, but also at AO3:

“Is there a chance we’re being tricked?” Scully asked, already afraid of Mulder’s answer.

Mulder looked over at Scully in the passenger seat and he sighed, not knowing how else to respond. When they'd gotten the call, neither of them quite knew how to process it. They'd just gone to bed when a sheriff a few towns over reached Scully on her cell, and while that fact alone wasn't strange or altogether unexpected, it was what the sheriff had to say that had thrown them both for a loop. Scully’s face, so full of hope as she told him she knew William’s whereabouts after one of the deputies had picked him up, was a sight he'd not soon forget. “It's him, Scully. You said it yourself. We’ll be there in less than ten minutes. If we turn back now, we’ll regret it the rest of our lives.”

“I know,” Scully replied, fixing her gaze out the window at the trees they sped by. “Sheriff Watkins said they picked him up, clearly inebriated, on the side of the road. His blood alcohol level was almost double the legal limit. What was he thinking?”

“The kid’s had a tough go of it these last few months,” Mulder replied, tightening his grip on the wheel as he pressed harder on the gas pedal. His response was an understatement at best. William’s adoptive parents were gunned down in their own home and while he’d initially been believed dead himself, he’d survived the attack and then fled. However, events Mulder and Scully were still struggling to comprehend had briefly brought him back into their orbit only to nearly lose him to violence once more. “I gotta give it to him, he takes after his father. Cheating death and then popping up by making a dramatic entrance.”

Scully smiled sadly, her hand resting against the slight swell of her stomach. In a matter of months, she and Mulder would become parents again. It didn't make grappling with their first child any easier. “He asked for us when they took him in. He told them we’re his parents. Why would he do that?”

“Because he knew we’d come,” he replied, casting a glance at her profile. The way she absently rubbed at her stomach, comforting the life that grew inside, made his stomach flutter. “He knew we’d come, which implies he trusts us. The kid has spent months on the road. Maybe--”

“Don't,” Scully interjected, only realizing after the fact how harsh her tone had been. She reached across the console and gave his leg a squeeze, leaving it there afterwards, tracing his knee cap through his jeans with her thumb. “We shouldn't get our hopes up yet. We don't really know what we’re walking into.”

“You’re right,” he quietly conceded. He slowed the car, turning into the lot of the police station. “Are you ready to do this?”

“Are you?” Scully asked, opening her door. She didn’t know what they were walking into, much less what condition he’d be in, but knowing William had asked for her was the only motivation she needed to get out of the car.

Mulder held the door open for her as they stepped inside. Once at the desk, he explained who they were there for, and was about to supply identification when the sheriff sidled out of his office, politely nodding at the clerk on duty.

“You’re the Vandekamp kid’s parents?” the sheriff said, pulling at his belt to adjust his pants as he glanced them up and down, apparently sizing them up. He held out his hand for Mulder to shake and then shoved it in his pocket once the greeting was complete. “We’ve got him in a room over here down the hall. Of course, you understand us catching someone underage and intoxicated in public is quite serious.”

“We do,” Mulder said, pressing a hand to Scully’s back as they followed the sheriff down the hallway. “You seem to have a nice town here, I’m sorry if he caused any disruption.”

“To tell you the truth, it’s been quiet around here these past few days. I know, most people would probably say my speaking that outloud would cause it to change, but I don’t believe that,” the sheriff said, shaking his head as they rounded the corner. “He’s not the first kid we’ve caught who slipped into mom and dad’s liquor cabinet, or who maybe nabbed a few brewskis from the gas station. It’s summer and kids are bored. I’m not saying it’s okay, but--”

“Do you intend to press charges?” Scully asked. The sheriff seemed like an amiable man, but regardless of his response, they’d be tasked as William’s parents to decide what came next. If he let them, she thought, again reminding herself they had no idea what they were walking into.

The sheriff paused in front of a door, considering his response for a second before turning to face them. “I could, you’re right. But I’ve talked to your boy. I’m not too sure what y’all got going on at home, but he seems like he’s holding something back. I dunno what it is, but in this case, I don’t think pressing charges would be the best option. Might make him lash out even more, you know?”

Mulder glanced at Scully and watched as she slowly drew a breath in and out. Over the sheriff’s shoulder William could be seen, sitting at a table with his head in his hands. When he followed her gaze, she was no longer paying attention to the sheriff, but was looking instead at their son. He gripped her elbow, momentarily pulling her back into the conversation. The last thing either of them needed was to come unglued in front of someone who had no clue the situation they were in. “We’ll talk to him,” he said, surprising even himself by how evenly he was able to speak.

If the sheriff suspected anything, he didn’t show it. He jerked his thumb over his shoulder and started walking backwards away from them. “I’ll get my deputy to start working on the discharge paperwork. It’ll give you guys a few minutes.”

Scully waited until he was out of earshot to speak. “Mulder, the last time we saw him…”

“I know,” Mulder replied, a solemn expression fixed on his features.

“We thought for so long that he was--” Scully stopped, squeezing her eyes shut tight as she shook the image from her head. “I’ve seen flashes, brief glimpses, that let me know he was alive. But this?”

Mulder joined her in looking through the window at William, still calmly sitting at the table. He wondered if he knew they were there. “We’d better go in.”

William looked up, eyes cautious as they entered. He weakly waved a hand in their general direction. “Hey.”

“How are you feeling?” Scully asked, gripping the back of a vacant chair to resist the urge to touch him.

William rubbed at his temple and sighed. “I guess you could say I’ve been better. But I’m fine, it’s cool. I just...they were asking me questions, you know? About my parents, and if I was drinking. Of course, they tested me anyway. So when they said they needed the number to call my parents, I just--” he stopped, gesturing about the room. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry about reaching out to us, Jackson,” Scully said. His name sounded wrong even before she said it, but if she had any chance at all of making him comfortable, she figured she had to use it. “But from what I understand, the amount of drinking you’ve done tonight may leave you feeling unwell in a few hours.”

“What...what’re you guys gonna do? Punish me?” William asked, laughing it off. He tried to stand up, but immediately changed his mind. The ground wasn’t exactly steady underneath him at the moment.

Scully crossed and then uncrossed her arms. She didn’t want to come across as too hard nosed, even though there was a certain amount of tough love about it. “What you need right now is probably something to eat, and some water. A nice place to sleep it off.”

William shook his head, picking at a hangnail on his thumb. He barely winced when he pulled too much skin away and it bled. “The motel I was staying at ran me off. Some creep tried breaking into my room, so I...you know,” he said, glancing up at them with a shrug. “I didn’t kill him, I just sort of scared him. All my stuff is in a bag up front. I don’t--”

“Yes, you do,” Mulder interjected. Whether their son knew it or not, he had a place with them, and he always would. “Let’s go check in with the sheriff, and then we’ll get you out of here. Do you need some help?”

“No,” William replied, his voice loud in such a small room. When he stood up, he had to grip the table to stay balanced. He giggled, an odd sound in someone his size but most likely a side effect of coming down from the alcohol high, and he hung his head. “Yeah.”

Cautiously, they each looped an arm around his middle, helping him down the hall. Once papers were signed and everything was cleared, they made their way back out to the car.

“You don’t have to help me,” William insisted, batting away Scully’s hand as he tried buckling the seatbelt. He tried again, and again, until finally the metal pieces clicked into place. “See?” he said, tilting his head back, clearly amused with his efforts. “All by myself.”

Scully tried not to wince at the alcohol on his breath as she hovered, clinging to the open car door. There was stubble on his chin, his eyes were glassy, and his hair was clearly disheveled, but somewhere underneath all of that was the boy she’d given birth to all those years ago. “All by yourself,” she muttered, trying and failing to not let the words hurt. “Let us know if we need to pull over, okay?”

“I’m fine,” William insisted, regretting shaking his head the second he began doing so. “How...how is the car doing that?”

“Doing what?” she asked, casting a glance up at Mulder who stood near the trunk of the car, keys in hand.

“The car just moved, and it’s not even on. I wonder…” he said, closing his eyes in apparent attention at something no one else could see. “No, it’s not.”

If there was any hope of having any in depth conversation with him, Scully got the impression it wasn’t going to happen tonight. “Like I said, just let us know if we need to pull over, okay?” she said, carefully shutting the door before moving to the passenger side of the car.

Halfway to home, they pulled into a Waffle House, just about the only place open so late. They’d contemplated making the ride in one go, but William’s stomach growling loudly from the backseat had settled the matter. He’d apparently sobered up some, ordering a full plate of food for himself along with a coffee without even glancing at the menu or stuttering once.

“It’s cheap and they don’t ask questions. I’ve...had my fair share of places like this,” he admitted, staring at the table sheepishly once the waitress had walked away to place their order.

“We have, too. Working the cases we do,” Mulder replied, leaning against the tabletop and grinning conspiratorially. “Well, used to do, anyway.”

Scully rubbed a hand over her abdomen, feeling the slightest of flutters from inside, but stopped when William glanced across the table at her. She’d tell him about the baby eventually, assuming he stuck around enough, but she was hesitant to push too much too soon. “He once made us stop at a diner exclusively decorated with alien memorabilia. The pancakes were even shaped like an alien head. Everything had a space themed name. The Flying Saucer Burger, Moon Rock macaroni and cheese…”

“You loved that place and you know it, Scully,” Mulder replied, grateful for the distraction of their food arriving before the conversation got much farther. As much as he liked reliving certain parts of their history, and as much as he yearned to share them with with their son, he could see by the way William curled in on himself that he was dealing with somewhat of an overload.

They ate their food in relative silence before paying and again heading out to the car. “So, I was thinking,” William said, shoving his hands in his jeans and rocking back on his heels. “I’m thankful to you guys, for getting me out of there. And I’m sorry I had to do it to you. But there was no one else I could call.”

“We were happy to,” Scully insisted, reaching her hand out to rest on his shoulder even as she could feel him beginning to proverbially slip away. “We’re here for you. Whatever that means, whatever that looks like to you. As much as you’ll let us.”

William laughed and lowered his head towards the ground. “You don’t have to take me anywhere else. It’s okay. I’ll...find a hotel nearby. You’ve already done enough.”

Mulder stepped in, gripping William’s other arm, desperate to get his attention. He’d left his son as a baby because he thought it’d keep him safe, and he’d watched in horror just a few months ago as his body plummeted into the icy water, so he was loathe to let him slip through his hands once more, at least not yet. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. You’ve had too much to drink tonight, and even if you’re sobering up now, you’re still not thinking clearly.”

“How do you know that? You don’t even know me,” William replied, stepping back from the both of them. He pressed his palms to his eyes so hard stars began to blur his vision.

“We know you well enough to know you trusted us to let us help you,” Scully said, mustering every ounce of bravery she had. “We have a room you can stay in, even if it’s just for tonight. Sleep this off, and we can decide tomorrow where to go from here.”

William considered it, kicking at a stray rock in the parking lot, watching as it skidded across the pavement. The wind kicked up and he shivered, despite the fact it was still summer. He’d known at the police station that if he called, they’d come. He’d also suspected they’d offer whatever they could to help. Still, as enticing as the offer seemed, he couldn’t help feeling like it was a betrayal in some way of the parents who’d raised him. “You guys...you know how messed up I am. You know the things I’ve done. The things I can do…” he said, trailing off as his chin quivered. He bit his bottom lip so hard he began to taste blood. He wiped the droplets away with the back of his hand, smearing them across his jeans. It was a move his parents--both sets of them, he surmised--wouldn’t approve of, but he did it anyway. “I’m a freak. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t,” Scully insisted, desperate to reassure him. Even as he stood, rocking back and forth, trying somewhat in vain to keep his emotions his check, he was still every bit the son she’d always wanted to know. No stories from a cigarette smoking, cancer riddled demon of a man would ever change that. She fished a tissue from her pocket, offering it to him, and pretended not to look as he dabbed at his eyes. “Will you let us help you? Just for tonight. If you still want to leave in the morning, we’ll help you get wherever it is you need to go.”

William had expected more resistance, had anticipated some blowback, but even as he still processed her request, he already knew what he’d say. “Yeah. Okay.”

“Okay?” Scully asked, trying to mask her relief. A quick glance at Mulder let her know he also hadn’t expected such a response so quickly. Before she’d had a chance to say or do anything else, William’s arms engulfed her middle, his grip so strong her heels came off the ground.

“Thank you,” William said, muttering the word against her hair. In the morning he might regret his outburst, but being welcomed without question had him feeling a bit off kilter. When he pulled back, he wiped furiously at his cheeks, knowing they were pinked at least slightly, although he figured he could blame at least some of that on the alcohol. “Sorry.”

Scully insisted it was fine, and they clamored back into the car. Inside her, the baby kicked, and she couldn’t resist wondering if they were at all aware of the events happening. Her thoughts were interrupted by Mulder nudging her in the arm with his elbow. He cocked his head at the backseat where William had curled up against the window and was quickly nodding off to sleep. “It’s like when he was a baby. If he wouldn’t sleep, mom or I would take him on a drive around the neighborhood. He’d be out within minutes. The tricky part was getting him out of the car once we got home.”

Mulder smiled despite the pang of regret he felt at a reminder of the times when he wasn’t there. “Let’s just hope he’s gotten a bit easier at that part.”

Once they arrived at the house, William woke with little fanfare. “This is it, huh?” he asked, setting his bag down with a subtle thud in the entryway. “Hey, you guys have a dog,” he continued, using the wall for support as he crouched down to scratch Dagoo behind the ears when he ran up to greet them.

Mulder looked over at Scully and smiled at her in what he hoped was a ressuring way. Apparently, their son didn’t have much of a filter when he wasn’t one hundred percent sober. Still, he was coming down from the wave, Mulder could tell as much when William stood unsteadily, even if his grip was firm when Mulder reached out a hand to him for balance. “I’ll go grab something for you to change into. Scully will show you the room,” he said before turning for the stairs.

Scully followed suit, with William in between them. There was a room to the left that was to be the nursery; they’d already purchased a crib along with a changing table. As they walked by, she breathed a sigh of relief that the door was closed. She’d told Mulder when he’d come home with a crib that she hadn’t wanted to chance fate, but as they walked by, this time she was thankful because it pushed back the inevitable conversation she’d have to have with William on the subject of their impending arrival. If he stuck around, she reminded herself as she showed him to the room adjacent to theirs. “It’s not much,” she said, by way of apology. She watched as he perched on the edge of the mattress, bouncing for a second as if testing the firmness. The fact she’d purchased new bedding for the room and had cleaned it out just weeks before in hopes of such a moment did not go unnoticed.

Mulder interrupted before anything else could be said, supplying William with a pair of sweatpants and a t shirt. “The pants might be a little short for your size, but they’ll do the trick at least for tonight.”

“The bathroom is right next door. Everything should be in there if you feel up to taking a shower or cleaning up,” Scully said, watching as he held the clothes almost gingerly.

“Thank you. Really. I guess I’ll go wash up,” William replied, slowly moving past them.

Scully and Mulder stood in place in the hallway for a few moments afterward, listening as they heard the pipes rattle to life for the shower. “I’m going to take Dagoo out for a minute,” she said, not even bothering to stifle a yawn.

“Do you want me to join you?” Mulder asked, not entirely surprised when she shook her head no in reply. In light of everything they’d been through in the last few hours, he wasn’t offended that she needed a moment alone to collect her thoughts. “I’ll be in the room. Probably keeping an ear out for him if he needs anything,” he said, cocking his head in the direction of the bathroom.

Scully made her way downstairs to let Dagoo out, keeping careful watch of where he ran in the yard to do his business. Once back inside, she made sure he was safe and was about to head back upstairs when she thought better of it, and doubled back to the fridge for a bottle of water. If William was anything like her when she was younger, he’d certainly have a headache in a couple of hours, if he didn’t already. She stopped at the bathroom for a bottle of Tylenol before quietly pushing the door open to his room. “Sorry,” she said, upon finding him awake, staring at the ceiling in the dim lamp light. “I wasn’t sure you’d be awake. I just wanted to bring you these for later,” she continued, rattling the bottle of pain medication.

“This is embarrassing,” he replied, rubbing at his neck as he sat up to take the water and the Tylenol from her. He opened the bottle of pills, dumping out the correct dose in his hand before downing them with a sip of the water. “You guys aren’t...mad at me or whatever? I mean, you can’t exactly ground me, but--” he curtailed his sentence, quirking an eyebrow in a way he didn’t yet know mirrored her own classic expression.

“What we want is for you to be okay. Whatever that looks like,” Scully replied, weighing her words carefully as she clasped her hands together in front of her. “I don’t know why you chose to drink tonight, but I am glad you knew you could trust us. That you reached out like you did was a smart move. I’m proud of you.”

“It’s his birthday. My dad’s, I mean. Well, it would’ve been,” William replied, burying his face in his hands as he corrected himself. “It’s stupid, I know. But any family members they had still live out west, and they stopped talking to them after the...incidents, I guess you could call them. With me,” he said, looking up at her through his lashes. He wondered briefly what, if anything, she knew of what happened when he was younger. “Anyway, I was alone. No one else knew him, so I just...I went to the store, and I stole a bottle of liquor. I already had beers at the motel, so I knew it was stupid, but I just…”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Scully replied, sitting carefully on the edge of the bed and urging him to come closer. She tried not to act surprised when he readily obliged, tilting his head onto her shoulder as she rocked him slightly. How many times had she pictured this exact moment, albeit under far different circumstances, she thought.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I made you guys worry, and I’m sorry that I made you come, and--”

Scully pulled back in an effort to get him to look at her. It was startling in a way, looking into a face that was so similar to Mulder’s. “I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but there’s nothing you have to apologize for.”

“If you say so,” he muttered, reaching for a tissue from a box on the nightstand to blow his nose.

She nodded, displaying more strength than she felt. He may have been on the tail end of his teenage years, but she was still new at the whole parenting thing. “I do,” she replied. “Thank you.”

“For what?” he asked, frowning.

“For trusting us. For telling me that story. Today can’t be easy for you,” she replied, leaning over just enough to nudge her shoulder against his. “I lost my father years ago. But birthdays, holidays, things like that? I still miss him.”

William nodded, staring down at the crumpled tissue in his hands. “Does it get any easier?”

“I’d like to think so,” Scully replied. It wasn’t entirely a lie, although in his case she knew it would definitely take some time. She clapped her hands on her legs with a sense of finality and cleared her throat as she stood. If circumstances were different, she figured it might have been the sort of moment where she’d reach out and ruffle his hair, but she tucked her own hair behind her ears instead. “You should probably get some rest. We’ll be right next door if you need anything.”

William agreed, settling back under the covers as she walked away. She was about to shut the door behind her when he got the urge to call out. “Hey, Dana?”

For the briefest of seconds, she paused with her back to him in the doorway. Hearing her first name coming from his lips wasn’t the most natural sound, but given that he was calling her anything at all was reason enough to turn around. “Yes?”

“Just…” William trailed off, finding remaining upright harder the longer he tried to fight sleep. “Thank you, I guess. For everything.”

“Of course,” Scully replied, smiling softly. She wondered if he’d have memory of their conversation at all in the light of day. “Anytime.”

��Everything go okay?” Mulder asked once she entered their room. He dogeared a page in the book he’d only been pretending to read, and set it along with his glasses on the nightstand. He held his arms open for her as she settled into bed.

“I think so,” she replied, sighing in contentment as his arms settled around her. “I just can’t believe he’s here.”

Mulder nodded, rubbing a soothing hand against her arm. “I know,” he replied. “I do think we have to prepare ourselves, however. He may not be here when we wake up. He’s grateful for help, we know that, but he could just as easily take off come daylight.”

“You’re right,” Scully replied, blinking back hot tears as she looked at him. Still, she clung to the cross around her neck, and couldn’t fight back the hope that maybe this time was different. “We’ve earned more than that, haven’t we?” she asked, knowing as she spoke it was an understatement. They’d had their fair share of suffering over the years, so they were overdue for a win. “We’ll see.”

As they settled in for at least a few hours sleep, Mulder had half a mind to bolt and seal all the doors to the house shut. Although, he thought, if their son was anything like them, he’d find a way out if he really wanted to. He burrowed under the covers and kissed her forehead, resting a hand over her middle and marveling at the life growing inside. It was surreal, he thought, that they’d be preparing for a new child while still growing accustomed to their first one. As sleep began to claim him, Mulder knew with certainty he wanted William to stick around come morning just as much as she did. “Night, Scully. We should get some rest.”

“Good night,” she replied, her eyelids growing heavy. She turned her head, searching for his mouth, and meeting in the middle of the bed for a kiss. The baby turned in her belly, kicking at Mulder’s hand pressing against her skin. She smiled against his lips and kissed him again. “I love you,” she said. Beside her, he was nearly asleep, but the way he pulled her closer let her know he’d heard her. The house was quiet, filled with an odd stillness after all the excitement they’d just gone through. She thought of the baby and she thought of Mulder, and she thought of William sleeping in the room next door.

There was a time when she’d have doubted if any of it were possible, but they were all under the same roof--although the tiniest one of them didn’t exactly have a choice in the matter, she thought with a hint of amusement. The baby rolled again, but after a few minutes with little movement also appeared to be settling in for the night. While she knew Mulder was right in saying William might not stick around, she couldn’t help hoping that he’d stay, or that if he did leave, he’d come around again soon enough. As she drifted off to sleep herself, Scully knew--although she couldn’t exactly explain how--that they’d all face whatever came next together.

#msr #william #otp and their kids #txf #fanfic

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