#jackalope noelle
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kriscommitscrimes · 4 months ago
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been seeing lots of fox kris recently and im OBSESSED literally the perfect animal for this creature!!
also jackalope noelle because. symbolism or something i dunno
mainly inspired by @mint-chocolate-rooibos and @stinktronz !!
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mordenheim · 1 year ago
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Fictober 2023 12: “I’m not saying I didn’t like it.”
Noelle sighed as she swept the floor of her bedroom, grumbling under her breath. It felt like she would never get the place cleaned up enough for the repairs to even get started. Snatching up her dress from the night before, tattered and split down the back, the piebald jackalope tossed it in the garbage bag in the center of the room.
She picked up a pair of sandals, her favorite sandals, from the far corner of the room. The straps on one were snapped apart while the straps on the other were simply torn right out of the base. She felt a little flare of anger and took a few deep breaths to calm herself. Getting angry right now wouldn't help anything, in fact it would likely make things a lot worse.
She slowly turned around the destroyed bedroom. Smashed furniture, cracked drywall, she blushed a little as she looked up and saw two huge gouges torn into the ceiling itself.
“Okay, that's it. I need a break.”
She carefully opened the bedroom door on its broken hinge. She picked her way down the stairs, mindful of the banister that was cracked and would sway at a touch. “Well, that's not gonna keep anyone safe like that. I hope the insurance just pays to fix it and doesn't give me a hard time.”
She paused for a moment in the living room. It was spotless. Everything broken had been cleaned up and removed except for some sentimental items that were carefully boxed up for her to go through them. The floor had been swept, the loose pieces of broken tile had been carefully scraped off of the floor and tossed out.
She peered around the edge of the doorway into the kitchen, where the whole mess had started. The only thing broken in here was a single chair that the tall, slender zebra was in the process of stuffing into the garbage can. She felt a small flare of anger at him, but it was tempered by laughter as she noticed he was dressed in his ridiculous blue and white heart covered boxer shorts and nothing else.
His hooves made a hollow clopping noise on the tiles as he walked back over to the dining table. Letting out a sigh, he slumped into one of the unbroken chairs, looking completely miserable.
“Well Victor, you've done it again,” he grumbled to himself. “She's probably never going to want to speak to you again after this.”
Elle nibbled at her bottom lip for a moment. Much of the previous night was a blur as both of them had had a bit more to drink than they should. Inhibitions were at a severe low and the both of them had made some very unwise decisions.
“Hey.” She called out to him. “Hey, s.. sorry about everything. Once I finish helping you clean up, I'll get out of your hair, alright?”
She walked over and sat down, resting her hand on his forearm. “Look.. It's okay... Things happened that well, we were both really responsible for.”
His ears perked up a bit as he raised his single eye to meet her gaze.
She flapped her hands in the air, a little flustered, “Look, I'm not good at this but well... I.. I’m not saying I didn’t like it.”
He raised an eyebrow, a bit of a blush entering his cheeks as he felt his heart beat faster. Was he really about to be forgiven?
“In fact, it was kind of fun...”
She leaned in closer to him, her warm breath caressing his lips. “I might even want to try it again sometime...”
He closed his eye, leaning in a little closer, waiting for her lips to brush against his.
Instead, she booped him on the tip of his nose, “But not here. No more untested growth potions in my home, got it?”
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ask-krismas · 1 year ago
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what was I saying about stupid questions… is it true that closer to Easter, Noelle turns from a deer-like monster into a jackalope-like monster
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ahrencmeptn-aa · 2 years ago
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My Noelle is, shocker, a “jackalope”! Her mother is a rabbit and her mother’s mother was a wolf. Her mother insists that, since they all look like herbivores, they should act like it, so in public and around outsiders, you’d never expect it of her. Though she ADORES meat. It’s a component of all her favorite foods, actually.
There’s also other signs, naturally, being she has the teeth made for meat in mind. You don’t usually see them past her little buckteeth, but they’re there! She also has a few habits more akin to canines. She’ll whimper, whine, wag her little tail, the works. She’s suppressed them all, but if she’s comfy it’ll show more. 
Also, well, don’t throw something near her head or she may reflexively catch it. It’s embarrassing, but she’s gotten good at only doing it if it’s very close...
She also! Has! THE BEANS! She’s got soft pads on her hands.. it’s the most glaring thing that gives away she’s not just a straight reindeer (as if she’d be straight anything) 
Another thing is, well, she has a tendency to start thumping her hoof if she’s upset or excited too much. It’s also why she’s THAT athletic. This girl was built to be an athlete! 
Mind, her mother is.. very strict that she acts and looks like a regular old reindeer so... she kind of hates her other traits! Oopsies! Thanks mom! 
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star-light-shadows · 2 years ago
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Crack Theory / Design Concept: - What if Noelle isn't a Reindeer but is actually a Jackalope?
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toonmienshao93 · 2 years ago
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Yami - Charizard\Frankenstein's Monster Nacht - Mightyena\Vampire Asta - Shikare Bear Charmy - Shikare Badger Gauche - Shikare Tiger Zora - Shikare Mouse Finral - Shikare Porcupine Gordon - Shikare Wolverine Noelle - Shikare Opossum Vanessa - Shikare Ferret Grey - Shikare Jackalope Luck - Shikare Rabbit Henry - Shikare Fox Secre - Shikare Dog Liebe - Shikare Numbat Gimodelo,Walgner,Slotos & Plumede - No
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remade3940580486940568 · 3 years ago
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Noelle is a jackalope, not a deer. Just look at her talksprite o.o
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dailyserperior · 8 years ago
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I just noticed but what is the bunny thing you use to represent yourself?
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((Just a Bun. It’s my sona I use most often instead of my actual trainer sona that I tend to use on this blog. IRL I’m super skiddish, nervous, and shy. So I was compared to a rabbit and I just embraced it :’3c Plus I mean, my nickname is Usa/Bun. Hope that answers your question dear 8D))
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toomanysweaters-moved · 6 years ago
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If Noelle's mom is a bunny.. Does that mean Noelle has paw beans? 🤔
This is just a polite way of asking if you can touch her jackalope paw beans, isn’t it Kris???
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folatefangirl · 7 years ago
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Fantasy Book Recs: Masterpost
Disclaimer: All of these books are books are either books I’ve read, or that I’ve read enough of to feel comfortable recommending, so it’s biased and YMMV. Fantasy is defined rather loosely here for the sake of giving y’all more options.
Tips: This rec list has a lot of repeats because it’s organized by specific categories. Scroll down to the section or sections that seem the most interesting to you and have at it! (Let me know if links aren’t working.)
Last updated: June 29th, 2019
First Section: Read What You Want, Y’all
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Fantasy classics book recs: 
Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll*
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum*
The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis*
Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie*
Over Sea, Under Stone by Susan Cooper
The Book of Three by Lloyd Alexander*
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I’m not your mother so just read them, y’all. Or read some quality HP fanfiction to scratch that itch. (I highly recommend Oh God Not Again!, Hermione Granger’s Hogwarts Crammer for Delinquents on the Run, and Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality.)
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Not!Harry Potter books:
Carry On by Rainbow Rowell
The Magicians by Lev Grossman
Midnight for Charlie Bone by Jenny Nimmo*
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Short stories and short story collections:
A Glory of Unicorns compiled by Bruce Coville*
The Tales of Beedle the Bard by J.K. Rowling*
Tales of Nevèrÿon by Samuel R. Delany (explicit adult content)
Across the Wall by Garth Nix
Vampires in the Lemon Grove by Karen Russell (disturbing content)
Theater of Cruelty by Terry Pratchett
Jackalope Wives by T. Kingfisher
Resilience compiled by Sasha L. Miller (explicit adult content)
A Faire Encounter by A.M. Valenza
The City of Dreams by Hailey Griffiths
Unlocking the Air by Ursula K. Le Guin
Valor Vol. 1 compiled by Isabelle Melançon (collection of indie stories)
Valor Vol. 2 compiled by Isabelle Melançon (a bunch of new stories)
Tortall and Other Lands by Tamora Pierce
The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas by Ursula K. Le Guin (available here)
The Fairy’s Return by Gail Carson Levine*
Death and What Comes Next by Terry Pratchett
The Found and the Lost by Ursula K. Le Guin
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Solid standalone fantasy stories:
American Gods by Neil Gaiman
The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater
Otherbound by Corinne Duyvis
The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller
The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee
Nimona by Noelle Stevenson*
In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan
Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik
Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
Tigana by Guy Gavriel Kay
The Lions of Al-Rassan by Guy Gavriel Kay
River of Stars by Guy Gavriel Kay
The Princess Bride by William Goldman
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Indie fantasy book recs:
Thornfruit by Felicia Davin
City of Dreams by Hailey Griffiths
A Faire Encounter + Alexey Dyed in Red by A.M. Valenza @amvi1323
Sunblind by Ramona Meisel @rmeisel​ (modern retelling in a prose and poetry format of Icarus and Apollo)
The Raven and the Reindeer by T. Kingfisher @tkingfisher
Digger by Ursula Vernon* (also available here)
The Chronicles of Arenacea by S.M. Lee @arenacea​
Our Bloody Pearl by D.N. Bryn @brynwrites​
The Songbird’s Refrain by Jillian Maria
The Posterchildren by Kitty Burroughs
The Fever King by Victoria Lee
Ice Massacre by Tiana Warner
Valor Vol. 1 compiled by Isabelle Melançon (collection of short stories) @isaportfolio​
Valor Vol. 2 compiled by Isabelle Melançon (a bunch of new stories)
Deadline by Stephanie Ahn @delphiiwrites​ (explicit adult content, BDSM)
More Than Enough by Elizabeth Wambheim @ajumbleofpages​
The Bones of the Earth by Scott Hale (warning: very disturbing content and body horror)
Resilience compiled by Sasha L. Miller (explicit adult content) @lessthanthreepress​
Nightblade by Garrett Robinson @garrettauthor​
Robbergirl by S.T. Gibson
Maple Street by A.M. Dorhauer*
Ascendant by Kimberly Grey
The Queen of Ieflaria by Effie Calvin
Second Section: Things in Fantasy Books
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Main Characters of Color:
The Gilded Wolves by Roshani Chokshi
Jade City by Fonda Lee
Thornfruit by Felicia Davin
Tales of Nevèrÿon by Samuel R. Delany
Shadow Spinner by Susan Fletcher
More Than Enough by Elizabeth Wambheim
The Telling by Ursula K. Le Guin**
American Gods by Neil Gaiman
Book of a Thousand Days by Shannon Hale
Otherbound by Corinne Duyvis (also has a disabled main character)
City of Flowers by Mary Hoffman** (Stravaganza #3)
Before She Ignites by Jodi Meadows
The Posterchildren by Kitty Burroughs
The Fever King by Victoria Lee
Fire by Kristin Cashore** (Graceling #2)
Bitterblue by Kristin Cashore** (Graceling #3, warnings for abuse/suicide)
Daja’s Book by Tamora Pierce** (Circle of Magic #3)
Briar’s Book by Tamora Pierce** (Circle of Magic #4)
Circle Opens quartet by Tamora Pierce
Labyrinth Lost by Zoraida Córdova
River of Stars by Guy Gavriel Kay
A Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula K. Le Guin
Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo
Deadline by Stephanie Ahn
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LGBT+ Main Characters (yes, the rainbow is 100% intentional):
Daughter of Mystery by Heather Rose Jones (wlw)
Battle Magic by Tamora Pierce** (bi rep) (note LOTS of content and trigger warnings including genocide and animal harm)
More Than Enough by Elizabeth Wambheim (mlm, ace rep)
The Telling by Ursula K. Le Guin** (wlw)
Swordspoint by Ellen Kushner (mlm)
Mother of Souls by Heather Rose Jones** (wlw)
Nimona by Noelle Stevenson (mlm)
Monstrous Regiment by Terry Pratchett** (wlw)
Down Among the Sticks and Bones by Seanan McGuire** (wlw)
Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo (mlm, bi rep)
Labyrinth Lost by Zoraida Córdova (wlw, bi rep)
The Mystic Marriage by Heather Rose Jones (wlw)
Valor Vol. 1 compiled by Isabelle Melançon (wlw, trans rep)
Ice Massacre by Tiana Warner (wlw)
Robbergirl by S.T. Gibson (wlw)
The Songbird’s Refrain by Jillian Maria (wlw)
The Queen of Ieflaria by Effie Calvin (wlw)
Deadline by Stephanie Ahn (wlw)
First Test by Tamora Pierce (ace-spec rep)
The Will of the Empress by Tamora Pierce** (wlw, ace rep, bi rep)
The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller (mlm)
Wicked by Gregory Maguire (bi rep)
Son of a Witch by Gregory Maguire** (mlm, bi rep)
Valor Vol. 2 compiled by Isabelle Melançon (wlw)
The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee (mlm, bi rep, ace rep)
Our Bloody Pearl by D.N. Bryn (nonbinary rep, wlw rep)
The Dream Thieves by Maggie Stiefvater** (mlm)
Otherbound by Corinne Duyvis (wlw, bi rep, also disability rep)
Carry On by Rainbow Rowell (mlm, gay and bi rep)
In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan (mlm, gay and bi rep)
The Gardener’s Hand series by Felicia Davin (wlw and mlm)
The Gilded Wolves by Roshani Chokshi (mlm)
Jade City by Fonda Lee (mlm)
The Prince and the Dressmaker by Jen Wang (genderqueer)
The Fever King by Victoria Lee (mlm)
The Posterchildren by Kitty Burroughs (wlw and mlm)
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Dragons books:
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling**
Carry On by Rainbow Rowell
Son of a Witch by Gregory Maguire**
The Fire Within by Chris D’Lacey*
A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin
Dragonflight by Anne McCaffrey
Dealing with Dragons by Patricia C. Wrede*
Wild Magic by Tamora Pierce
The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien
A Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula K. Le Guin
Before She Ignites by Jodi Meadows
The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy by Mackenzi Lee
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Fairies and Fae:
Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie*
Iron Kissed by Patricia Briggs** (btw the fandom hates the American covers which is why this cover is not the one you’ll see on Goodreads)
The Chronicles of Prydain by Lloyd Alexander*
The Spiderwick Chronicles by Holly Black and Tony DiTerlizzi
The Fairy’s Return by Gail Carson Levine*
Peter and the Starcatchers by Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson
The Wee Free Men by Terry Pratchett (Tiffany Aching #1)*
In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan
Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer
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Mages and Magicians books:
Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo
The Magicians by Lev Grossman
The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern
Wild Magic by Tamora Pierce (Immortals #1)
Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs
Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor
A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab
Graceling by Kristin Cashore (Graceling #1)
Tigana by Guy Gavriel Kay
Sabriel by Garth Nix (Abhorsen #1)
Circle of Magic Quartet by Tamora Pierce*
The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater
Thornfruit by Felicia Davin
The Gilded Wolves by Roshani Chokshi
Jade City by Fonda Lee
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Witches and Wizards books:
Labyrinth Lost by Zoraida Córdova
Moon Called by Patricia Briggs (aka why we hate the American covers)
A Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula K. Le Guin
The Witches by Roald Dahl*
Wicked by Gregory Maguire
The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis*
Carry On by Rainbow Rowell
The Fever King by Victoria Lee (warnings for trauma and CSA)
The City of Dreams by Hailey Griffiths
The Wee Free Men by Terry Pratchett (Tiffany Aching #1)*
Wyrd Sisters by Terry Pratchett**
Howl’s Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones*
Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling
The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
The Enchanted Forest Chronicles by Patricia C. Wrede*
The Phoenix Dance by Dia Calhoun
The Songbird’s Refrain by Jillian Maria
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Sassy Cat Companions:
In the Hand of the Goddess by Tamora Pierce**
Sabriel by Garth Nix (Abhorsen #1)
Beka Cooper: Terrier by Tamora Pierce
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Vampire books:
Monstrous Regiment by Terry Pratchett
Vampires in the Lemon Grove by Karen Russell (disturbing content)
Carry On by Rainbow Rowell
Blood Bound by Patricia Briggs** (content warnings for a lot of things)
Down Among the Sticks and Bones by Seanan McGuire**
Maple Street by A.M. Dorhauer*
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Books with unicorns:
A Glory of Unicorns compiled by Bruce Coville*
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone by J.K. Rowling*
The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis**
In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan
Third Section: Subgenres of Fantasy Books
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Historical Fiction and Fantasy books: 
Stravaganza series by Mary Hoffman
A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin
Sailing to Sarantium by Guy Gavriel Kay
River of Stars by Guy Gavriel Kay
Tigana by Guy Gavriel Kay
The Lions of Al-Rassan by Guy Gavriel Kay
The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee
The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller
Daughter of Mystery by Heather Rose Jones
The Prince and the Dressmaker by Jen Wang
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Science Fiction and Fantasy books:
Dragonflight by Anne McCaffrey
Discworld series by Terry Pratchett (handy reading guides: [1] [2] [3])
Tales of Neveryon by Samuel R. Delany
Fall of Angels by L.E. Modesitt Jr.**
The Telling by Ursula K. Le Guin**
Heir to the Empire by Timothy Zahn
Otherbound by Corinne Duyvis
Resilience compiled by Sasha L. Miller (explicit adult content)
The Bones of the Earth by Scott Hale (warnings for disturbing content and a lot of body horror)
The Fever King by Victoria Lee (content warnings for trauma and CSA)
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Celtic and Arthurian fantasy books:
The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater
The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater
The Dark Is Rising sequence by Susan Cooper
The Chronicles of Prydain by Lloyd Alexander*
“Under the Lake” by Garth Nix (within Across the Wall)
The Fionavar Tapestry by Guy Gavriel Kay
Song of the Sparrow by Lisa Ann Sandell (prose and poetry)
The Keltiad Series by Patricia Kennealy-Morrison (mostly out of print but you might find these used or in a library)
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Mythology books: 
Percy Jackson and the Olympians by Rick Riordan
The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller
Circe by Madeline Miller
Sunblind by Ramona Meisel (modern retelling in prose and poetry format of Icarus and Apollo)
A Hundred Forevers by Ramona Meisel (modern retelling in prose and poetry format of Hades and Persephone)
American Gods by Neil Gaiman
Norse Mythology by Neil Gaiman
Hekití and the Moon: A Taíno Legend by M.C. Olmo
If Lost, Please Return To by A.M. Valenza
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Fairy tale-inspired fantasy books:
Shadow Spinner by Susan Fletcher
More Than Enough by Elizabeth Wambheim
The Raven and the Reindeer by T. Kingfisher
Tales of Beedle the Bard by J.K. Rowling
Howl’s Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones*
A Curse as Dark as Gold by Elizabeth C. Bunce
The Princess Bride by William Goldman
Book of a Thousand Days by Shannon Hale
Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik
Uprooted by Naomi Novik
Robbergirl by S.T. Gibson
The Phoenix Dance by Dia Calhoun
Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine*
The Fairy’s Return by Gail Carson Levine*
The Frog Princess by E.D. Baker* (the bookspiration for Princess Tiana)
Beauty by Robin McKinley
The Princess Academy by Shannon Hale*
The Goose Girl by Shannon Hale
Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister by Gregory Maguire
Valor Vol. 1 compiled by Isabelle Melançon
Valor Vol. 2 compiled by Isabelle Melançon
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Funny fantasy books:
The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee
The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan (Percy Jackson #1)
Welcome to Night Vale by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor
Dealing with Dragons by Patricia C. Wrede (Enchanted Forest #1)*
The Princess Bride by William Goldman
Mort by Terry Pratchett
Wyrd Sisters by Terry Pratchett**
In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan
Nimona by Noelle Stevenson
Digger by Ursula Vernon*
Howl’s Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones*
Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine*
Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
Night Watch by Terry Pratchett**
Monstrous Regiment by Terry Pratchett
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Graphic novels with fantasy content:
Digger by Ursula Vernon
The Hedge Knight by Ben Avery and George R.R. Martin
Valor Vol. 1 compiled by Isabelle Melançon (also includes short stories)
Valor Vol. 2 compiled by Isabelle Melançon (also includes short stories)
Nimona by Noelle Stevenson
The Prince and the Dressmaker by Jen Wang
Preludes & Nocturnes by Neil Gaiman (The Sandman comics series)
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Creepy fantasy books: 
Welcome to Night Vale by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor
Bitterblue by Kristin Cashore** (content warnings for abuse and suicide)
The Dark is Rising sequence by Susan Cooper
The Spiderwick Chronicles by Holly Black and Tony DiTerlizzi
The Wicked Years by Gregory Maguire
The Mercy Thompson series by Patricia Briggs (note content warnings for just about everything in this series)
The Abhorsen series by Garth Nix
Vampires in the Lemon Grove by Karen Russell (has disturbing content)
Down Among the Sticks and Bones by Seanan McGuire
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NOTE: With possibly the exception of Shadow Spinner, don’t read these if you are easily triggered by disturbing content (e.g. death, abuse, etc.), in particular Briar Rose because it is a Holocaust story.
Stories that are downright disturbing and pure nightmare fuel (welcome to my hell): 
Shadow Spinner by Susan Fletcher (based on the story of Scheherazade) 
Briar Rose by Jane Yolen (Holocaust story written by a Jewish author, very disturbing and contains homophobia in addition to depictions of Nazi-era antisemitism)
The Looking Glass Wars by Frank Beddor (Alice in Wonderland... but like a really super fucked up AU)
Wendy by Karen Wallace (disturbing Peter Pan retelling and has child abuse so FYI)
Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister by Gregory Maguire (unsettling Cinderella retelling in the era of the Dutch tulip mania)
The Problem of Susan by Neil Gaiman (available here and a very dark “what if” about the character Susan Pevensie)
Snow, Glass, Apples by Neil Gaiman (available here and a very dark retelling of Snow White)
Never by T. Kingfisher (available here and an incredibly disturbing and dark Peter Pan retelling so don’t say I didn’t warn you)
Elegant and Fine by T. Kingfisher (available here and yet another “what if” story about Susan Pevensie)
The Wolf & the Woodsman by T. Kingfisher (available here and a dark retelling of Little Red Riding Hood)
The Bones of the Earth by Scott Hale (body horror and very disturbing apocalyptic fiction with both sci-fi and fantasy elements)
The Fever King by Victoria Lee (lots of trauma, CSA, death, medical scenes, etc)
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Fantasy books with less magic: 
Stravaganza series by Mary Hoffman
The Hedge Knight by Ben Avery and George R.R. Martin
The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee
The Lions of Al-Rassan by Guy Gavriel Kay
Swordspoint by Ellen Kushner
Tales of Nevèrÿon by Samuel R. Delany
Welcome to Night Vale by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor
The Princess Bride by William Goldman
River of Stars by Guy Gavriel Kay
Nightblade by Garrett Robinson
Night Watch by Terry Pratchett
Daughter of Mystery by Heather Rose Jones
City of Dreams by Hailey Griffiths
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Fantasy books and series lacking a major romantic arc:
Night Watch by Terry Pratchett
Reaper Man by Terry Pratchett
The Wee Free Men by Terry Pratchett*
Protector of the Small Quartet by Tamora Pierce (one relationship in later books but no romantic endgame)
Circle of Magic and Circle Opens Quartets by Tamora Pierce*
The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis* (except The Horse and His Boy)
Welcome to Night Vale by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor
Castaways of the Flying Dutchman by Brian Jacques* (also many of his other kid-friendly Redwall books, but it depends so send me an ask or check the fan wiki)
See also: https://bookriot.com/2016/10/12/100-must-read-ya-books-little-no-romance/
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Fantasy books that will give you an existential crisis and/or food for thought: 
The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas by Ursula K. Le Guin (also available here)
The Great Good Thing by Roderick Townley*
American Gods by Neil Gaiman
His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman (also called The Golden Compass or Northern Lights)
Good Omens by Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman
Tales of Neveryon by Samuel R. Delany
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Fantasy books with religious satire and/or social commentary, from left to right:
Good Omens by Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman
American Gods by Neil Gaiman
The Lions of Al-Rassan by Guy Gavriel Kay
His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman (also called The Golden Compass or Northern Lights)
Small Gods by Terry Pratchett
Daughter of Mystery by Heather Rose Jones
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Fantasy books with Christian elements/themes:
Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
The Mercy Thompson series by Patricia Briggs (again content warnings for just about everything for the entire series)
The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis*
Castaways of the Flying Dutchman by Brian Jacques*
Redwall series by Brian Jacques* (and yes, I’ve read dozens of those books so I’m well aware that it’s not nearly as overt in this series as in the Flying Dutchman series but c’mon, it’s about an Abbey led by Abbots and Abbesses and St Ninian’s Church is canonical)
Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor
Daughter of Mystery by Heather Rose Jones
Ascendant by Kimberly Grey
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Fantasy books about books or the writing process:
Inkheart by Cornelia Funke
Wyrd Sisters by Terry Pratchett**
The Great Good Thing by Roderick Townley*
The Field Guide by Holly Black and Tony DiTerlizzi (Spiderwick #1)
The Princess Bride by William Goldman
Thornfruit by Felicia Davin
Bonus Book Rec Sections: 
Ocean Organisms and Folklore: 
Our Bloody Pearl by D.N. Bryn
Ice Massacre by Tiana Warner
In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan
If Lost, Please Return To by A.M. Valenza
The Gardener’s Hand series by Felicia Davin
The Ladies Guide to Petticoats and Piracy by Mackenzi Lee
The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater
Lady Knights:
Alanna: The First Adventure by Tamora Pierce
First Test by Tamora Pierce
Beka Cooper: Terrier by Tamora Pierce
A Clash of Kings by George R.R. Martin
More Than Enough by Elizabeth Wambheim
Plant Nerds Unite: 
Briar’s Book (Circle of Magic) by Tamora Pierce
Street Magic (Circle Opens) by Tamora Pierce
The Gilded Wolves by Roshani Chokshi
The Gardener’s Hand series by Felicia Davin
Circe by Madeline Miller
Political Intrigue: 
Tigana by Guy Gavriel Kay
The Lions of Al-Rassan by Guy Gavriel Kay
A Song of Ice and Fire by George R.R. Martin
The Thief by Megan Whalen Turner
Heist and Urban Fantasy: 
The Thief by Megan Whalen Turner
The Gilded Wolves by Roshani Chokshi
Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo
Jade City by Fonda Lee
Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer
The Fever King by Victoria Lee (warnings for trauma, CSA, other dark content; this is a fantasy dystopia in a way)
Beka Cooper: Terrier by Tamora Pierce
Superheroes & Supervillains:
The Fever King by Victoria Lee
Not Your Sidekick by C.B. Lee
The Posterchildren by Kitty Burroughs
Nimona by Noelle Stevenson
Medically-Focused Protagonists: 
Alanna: The First Adventure by Tamora Pierce
Wild Magic by Tamora Pierce
The Lions of Al-Rassan by Guy Gavriel Kay
The Ladies Guide to Petticoats and Piracy by Mackenzi Lee
The Posterchildren by Kitty Burroughs
Briar’s Book (Circle of Magic) by Tamora Pierce
Free Internet-Only Stories, Series, and Webcomics:
If you want a good fantasy series that’s entirely on the internet and that parodies and subverts common fantasy tropes, I highly recommend the Pretentious Pentad by Limyaael, which starts with Prophecy of Four Royals With One Mistake.
Aerial Magic by walkingnorth on webtoons (witchy stuff, wlw, wholesome fluff)
Sharp Zero by robotsharks on Tapas (superheroes, basically all the lgbt+ rep you could possibly imagine)
Worm, a dark superhero web serial on Wordpress with a lot of content warnings
Of the Wild by Elizabeth Wambheim on Wordpress
Footnotes:
*Appropriate for young children ~ 7-10 years old and up, so older readers might find the writing a bit juvenile, though they might still enjoy it
**A later book in a series, so YMMV on whether or not you want to read the previous ones first
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obviouslybooks · 4 years ago
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August Wrap-up
Comics & Graphic Novels: Lumberjanes: Campfire Tales Lumberjanes Vol. 4 Out of Time Vol. 5 Band Together Vol. 6 Sink or Swim Vol. 7 A Bird’s-Eye View Vol. 8 Stone Cold Vol. 9 On a Roll Vol. 10 Parents’ Day Vol. 11 Time After Crime Vol. 12 Jackalope Springs Eternal Vol. 13 Indoor Recess Vol. 14 X Marks the Spot
The Wicked + The Divine Vol. 1 The Faust Act
Fiction: The Blue Sword by Robin McKinley Circe by Madeline Miller Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli Love, Creekwood by Becky Albertalli The Devil of Nanking by Mo Hayder The Death of Mrs. Westaway by Ruth Ware Lovecraft Country by Matt Ruff Into the Water by Paula Hawkins
Non-fiction: Yes, I Can Say That by Judy Gold Me and White Supremacy by Layla F. Saad The Fire Never Goes Out by Noelle Stevenson The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl by Issa Rae
Picture Books: The World Needs More Purple People by Kristen Bell
Okay so I’ve never read 27 books in a month before...but whew...it happened. While nothing really blew me out of the water (despite a five star rating* on Noelle Stevenson’s memoir) most of these books were a solid read.
*I only rate memoirs 4 or 5 stars, ever. I don’t know, it just feels odd to rate lower. Except in rare cases where the person writing the memoir reveals themselves to be true human-dumpster-fires.
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mordenheim · 1 year ago
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Flash Fic: Patience is a Virtue
Jackalope Noelle learns about the importance of patience when dealing with mad scientists!
A fun little fan fic for my dear friend, Redband Jackalope
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Noelle sighed and paced back and forth as she glared over at the calico feline. The currently nude lionhead jackalope folded her arms over her chest, balancing on her white, left paw as she tapped her brown paw impatiently. “Are you almost finished?”
Morghanna sighed and glanced over her shoulder, “You know, you really shouldn't rush me with this kind of stuff. The setting can be pretty tricky to get right.”
Stomping her way over to the side of the desk, she kicked an eraser off onto the floor far below. “Look, it was your ray gun that got me into this mess and I need you to get me back to normal. I have bunnies to get back to! If I don't feed them on time they're going to start going after wires!”
“Alright, I think.. yeah, I've got it!” The feline spun around dramatically in her chair and took aim at the tiny jackalope. “Say cheese!”
“What are you t…” She froze and gasped as her body was enveloped in red energy. The glow clung to her fur for a moment before expanding out around her. A second later, she felt her body being pulled in all directions, stretched out to fill the new size of the glowing aura. In seconds she had stretched from six inches tall to eight, then to a foot.
“Okay, that's more like it… thank you…” Two more surges of growth and she reached two feet tall, sliding carefully off of the desk to settle on the floor. Her big, soft paws were silent on the floor as she stared at her glowing hands. She watches as the glow surged outwards again before her fingers lengthened, the palms widening as she grew to three feet.
Clapping with glee, Morghanna hopped out of her chair and grabbed a lab coat off of a nearby hook, tossing it towards the growing, antlered bunny. Her thick, fluffy fur managed to keep her decent, but it could still be embarrassing walking through the halls in the buff. “I'm just glad you're almost back to normal.
Elle caught the coat and slipped it on. The sleeves dangled far past her wrists even as she grew again to four feet, the tingle of energy rushing through her becoming more intense with each spurt. Her growing fingers fumbled with the buttons a little, but managed to get them closed just as she passed five feet. “There. Back to normal at last..”
“Uhmmm.. Elle? We might have a little problem..”
“Hmm?” Elle was looking down at the floor, trying to find the eraser she had kicked off of the desk earlier when she noticed it. The glow, faint though it was, was still there. She stared down at her paws and saw the glow expand outwards. Fluffy toes plumped out a bit, sliding across the tiles as her hocks lengthened and widened, lifting her farther from the floor. She felt the lab coat starting to constrict over her chest as a button snapped and went flying across the room.
Starting to panic, the rising rabbit looked over at the calico cat, “Don't just stand there, do something!”
“I tried to tell you not to rush me, now look what happened!”
Elle doubled over, dizzy as her point of view lurched suddenly upwards. Cloth split across her back and burst open over her shoulders as buttons broke free and scattered across the tile floor. The process seemed to be accelerating, barely giving her a break between sudden surges of growth.
Morghanna rushed back over to her work station as the jackalope sat down on her rear, the last tatters of the lab coat flying off of her as so much cloth confetti. Within seconds, her antlers had pierced into the drop ceiling. She tried lowering herself as best she could to keep from growing right through it.
Elle suddenly felt something soft and squirming against one of her paws. She had grown to the point that a single paw had slid across the room, shoved Morghanna aside and pinned her against the wall. The cat struggled and squirmed, pushing her way up the wall until she pulled herself free, tumbling down to land on a still expanding shin. She hung on for dear life as drop tiles started raining down all around them as the growing bun starting to burst free from the building.
A few hours later and a now skyscraper sized jackalope was looming over the remains of Morghanna's private lab. She was tapping a gigantic paw on the ground in her impatience, forming a large crater and causing a few local earthquakes. The feline sheepishly did her best to get the proper setting this time, though it was going to be difficult with the earth shaking beneath her.
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ahrencmeptn-aa · 2 years ago
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The jackalope is silent. Standing in the store aisle and staring at the little chocolate sample that was oh-so-Christmas themed. That slow, slight movement as Noelle took it from the shelf and looked closer at it. As if it wasn’t already obvious what it was. Yes, it was time. As if to signify this, a new song came on the store’s radio. She was freed.
It started as a low little hum, before growing into something that shook her shoulders and chest. Before, at last, it burst forth as a hellish holiday laugh, light blinding any unfortunate enough to make direct contact with it as the Holiday Monster celebrated the approach of her time. There would be no escape. Whether the masses wished for it or not, X-MAS was already upon them. 
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