#j can u send me nice email again :) felt good when u did that !

[snailmilksolution]

9/15/23

it's funny that things started happening only after it was official that i need to move labs. worm ribosomes (wormosomes is my elision. no one else uses it but i like it) looked okay on the fractionator (200 uL 1,2; 200 uL 3,4,5; 170 uL H; 100 uL 3,4,5 all at approx. 5 A260 units) in spite of my doubts about the concentrations. the worms have been so much kinder to me than the yeast. i cannot wait to never grow yeast again (fingers crossed anyway).

i guess next is to concentrate and probably negative stain them next week. i don't want to do that, but i also don't want to do anything here anymore. breathing feels embarrassing in this room sometimes. but it's better than sitting on my hands and waiting for the time to go by until october, anyway. idk why my PI was so uneasy about me leaving then if hes going to be gone the latter half of that month. no shot i was staying that long, especially since he told me initially that i had until november to find something else.

excited to put a negative stain image on here next week. little picture :)

[huttons]

Never Really Was Enough, Pt. I

word count: 4.3k

summary:  When Eva moves to Raleigh, it wasn't a happy occasion. She needed to get away from her family and moving across the country was the quickest way for her to accomplish that. As she finds her place in Raleigh, she finds a new family with people she never expected to (especially with a certain red-headed hockey player).

warnings: talk of past dealings with homophobia, off-screen character death

author’s note: this was written as part of @fandomtrumpshate​ 2020! I was lucky enough to write this for @antoineroussel​ <3 

ao3 link

~ ~ ~

“How do we forgive ourselves for all the things we did not become?”

The day Eva packs up and moves to Raleigh isn’t a happy one. Despite having the chance to start an amazing new job, and the chance to start over, she’s bitter about having to do it. The thought of having to make a new start without a support network is terrifying. But if it means that Eva can have a fresh new start, then so be it.

As Eva puts the last box into the U-Haul, she sighs. Moving across the country isn’t exactly how she had planned on getting away from her family, but she also didn’t think that she would be leaving so soon, either. It was a stroke of luck that she had been hired in North Carolina, and it was even better that she had found an apartment she could afford to live in.

Once she starts the long drive, there’s no heartfelt good-byes, and nobody to send her off. Eva has to remind herself that Lucas is long gone now and there’s nothing holding her back anymore. So, she begins what will likely turn into a week-long trip to Raleigh. It’s mostly a mindless drive, with only a few wrong turns. The days blur into each other, and she only stops for gas, food, and the chance to sleep.

By the time she pulls up to her new apartment complex, she feels exhausted and groans at the thought of having to unpack everything by herself. She drags herself to the front office to get checked in. It’s a smooth process, and once she gets the keys, Eva is hoping it doesn’t take all night to get everything moved up to her apartment.

“Hey, are you new here?” someone asks.

Eva turns and there’s a woman, about her age and blonde hair that glows in the sunlight walking over to the U-Haul.

“Yeah, just got in obviously,” Eva answers with a tired smile. “I’m Eva.”

“Samantha, but everyone calls me Sammy,” she introduces. “Are you here by yourself?”

“Yep, it’s just me,” Eva replies. “I couldn’t afford to hire any help, and my family couldn’t make it out, so it’s just me.”

“Ah, so you moved from far away?”

“Across the country,” Eva answers. “I came from Portland. The one in Oregon.”

“Damn, that’s a long-ass drive,” Sammy jokes. “But I think you’ll like it here. The neighbors are good, for the most part.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“I’m guessing this will take you a while, so I should be able to help you once I pick up my boyfriend from the auto shop.”

“Oh, you don’t have to help.”

Sammy snorts. “Please, you’re going to be here for ages. It’ll be no big deal at all. There aren’t a lot of people our age here, so it won’t be too much of a hassle to help out.”

“Well, if it’s not a big deal, then sure, I’d appreciate the help,” Eva replies with a soft smile. “I live in 417 if I’m not down by the truck.”

“See you then, Eva.”

Once Sammy leaves, Eva looks back to everything she has to unpack. She’s thankful that she doesn’t have a bed or couch to worry about, but Eva isn’t happy about having to sleep on the floor until the bed she ordered comes in. Without the help from her family, though, there was no way she was going to be able to get a bed or a couch into the moving vehicle.

Eva loses track of time, and by the time Sammy and her boyfriend, Patrick, come by to help, it’s late afternoon. They don’t talk much, but the silence is easy, which Eva is unfamiliar with. It’s been a long time since she felt comfortable not feeling like she had to fill the quietness. By the time dinner time rolls around, they finally have everything in Eva’s apartment.

“Are you going to want help unpacking things?” Sammy asks.

“Nah, this was already so much help. I probably would have spent the rest of the night bringing things up here,” Eva answers. “But thank you again, I really appreciate this.”

“We couldn’t not help someone moving in by themselves,” Patrick says. “It’s a big step, what you did. I don’t think I could ever move across the country by myself.”

Eva shrugs. “If you have to do it, then you manage.”

Both Sammy and Patrick don’t ask for more details, which Eva is grateful for. She’s not really sure if she feels comfortable talking about how she ended up here quite yet.

“So, are you really going to be fine sleeping on the floor?” Patrick asks, a little bit of worry in his voice. “I’m sure we could find something more comfortable for you.”

“Yeah, it’s only for a couple of nights until the delivery comes in,” Eva replies. “I just wasn’t sure when I would be getting here, so I guess I’ll just have to suffer for getting here early.”

Sammy snorts. “Alright, well, if you ever need company, we’re just one floor up. And you know what, give me your number so I can text you good places for takeout. I’m sure that you won’t want to be cooking for the next few days.”

“Oh, thank you, that would be nice,” Eva replies, who was planning on just living off of pizza for the next day or two. “I honestly don’t even know what there’s to do here since I just moved out here for work, so honestly, I’ll take any recommendations you have.”

Once Sammy and Patrick leave, Eva has a new contact in her phone and a list of places to check out around Raleigh. It’s a comfort knowing that she already has people willing to help her out here. She isn’t sure how well she’ll click with people at work and the thought of randomly introducing herself to her other neighbors isn’t an appealing idea.

The following week is a hectic one, with Eva trying to get her apartment to feel like a home and making sure that she’s ready to start work. She meets up with Sammy and Patrick again for dinner one night at their apartment to take a break from unpacking all of her boxes. It wasn’t until she moved that she realized how much stuff she accumulated.

“So, what do you two do for work?” Eva inquires.

“I work in the front office for the Canes,” Sammy answers. “And Patrick here is a kindergarten teacher, which is why you see glitter everywhere.”

“That was one time,” Patrick protests. “It’s not my fault it never disappears.”

Sammy snorts. “Yeah, it was a mistake he’s thankfully only made once.”

“Uh, not to sound dumb, but am I supposed to know who the Canes are?” Eva asks, a little nervous. “Are they like…a big company or something?”

“Oh, they’re the NHL team here,” Sammy replies. “I keep forgetting not everyone keeps up with hockey.”

“Well…I guess I’m going to have to start watching it if I’m going to be friends with the two of you,” Eva says. “I’ve only watched one game and that was because it was on at a sports bar my brother and I were at.”

“It’s really not that big of a deal,” Sammy says. “Hockey is fun, but it can be kind of messy sometimes. And I hardly understand it despite working there for a couple years now.”

Eva smiles softly. “Well, in that case, I feel a bit better about not knowing anything.”

“So, what brought you all the way across the country? I don’t think we ever asked,” Patrick inquires. “You don’t have to share if you don’t want to, though.”

“I found a good computer engineering job out this way for a small tech company. My other job just wasn’t cutting it,” Eva explains. “And it was time to get away from the family. Things were…not great, to put things lightly. Turns out they weren’t okay with me being bi.”

“We’re glad to have you here then,” Sammy says decisively. “Family can be shit sometimes, and I’m glad that you’ve been able to get away from them.”

Eva smiles sadly. “Thank you. I don’t think it’s really settled in yet, but I’m proud of myself.”

“You deserve to be proud,” Sammy says. “Now, let’s talk about happier things.”

The rest of the night passes easily and Eva can tell that she’s going to really like Sammy and Patrick. They’re good people and take her coming out with ease. She forgot that plenty of people don’t care about her sexuality, but with a minimal support system back home, it was easy to not remember that. By the time Eva leaves that night, her heart feels fuller and happier than it has in a long time.

When Eva gets back to her apartment, she sighs and makes a list of what needs to be accomplished tomorrow. There’s not much left to do, especially since the bed she ordered had come in a few days ago and she had found a decent couch off of craigslist. Her new job starts on the following Monday, which is only four days away now.

To distract herself, Eva decides to finish all the unpacking the following day, then goes shopping for things to decorate with. She sold most of those things before the cross-country drive, not wanting to hold onto any bad memories. Now she has the chance for a fresh start and it makes her feel light.

By the time Monday morning rolls around, she’s extremely nervous. Despite emails saying that people dress casually, Eva decides to go for a more business casual look, wanting to make a good first impression. She does her best to look like she didn’t stay up all night, then makes the drive out to the office.

“You must be Eva!” someone greets cheerily, once Eva walks in the front door.

“Uh, yes, that’s me,” Eva replies, taken aback by their cheery disposition.

“I’m James, and I’ll be helping you settle into the office,” James explains. “I know this is a lot to take in on a Monday, but today and tomorrow will mostly be orientation and HR stuff.”

“I can handle that,” Eva replies.

James proceeds to show Eva where her desk is and let’s her get settled. He gives her login information for her computer, and then lets her work on settling into her space, along with setting things up with HR. The morning passes quickly, then James is treating Eva to lunch, where they end up visiting a local diner.

“They’re open 24/7 and don’t mind if we stay for hours on end in the middle of the night when we’re trying to meet a project deadline,” James explains, when Eva seems a bit confused.

“Sounds like that’s a common experience,” she snorts.

“Don’t want to scare you off, but you wouldn’t be wrong,” James laughs. “How’s it been so far? I know it’s not that exciting, yet.”

Eva shrugs. “Could be worse. It seems like a good place and like there’s good people here. So, I think I can deal with a couple days of boring paperwork.”

“That’s the spirit!” James says happily. “And I promise that this is an amazing place to work. It’s not all that glamourous, especially since we aren’t a big company or anything, but the culture is what makes people stay.”

“Well, that’s good, glad I took a chance on coming out here then.”

The rest of lunch passes easily and Eva proceeds to spend the rest of the day filling out paperwork. Despite the easiness of the day, she feels exhausted by the time she gets back to her apartment. She reheats leftovers, then goes to pass out on her mildly uncomfortable bed.

The summer passes by quicker than Eva can even process. There’s so much to take in and she doesn’t have time to hurt about her family not asking about how she’s doing. It’s mid-August when she’s hanging out with Sammy, while Patrick preps for school to start up again.

“So, how would you feel coming to a company party with me?” Sammy asks, out of the blue. “It’s in a couple of weeks and I want you to come with me. It’d be fun.”

“Shouldn’t you be going with Patrick?” Eva retorts. “The two of you are dating.”

“Yeah, but I always bring him. Besides, I think you would have fun and would get along with everyone,” Sammy explains. “And honestly, Patrick is a bit all over the place this time of year, so I don’t think he’s too keen on going anyways.”

“What’s the vibe like? Is it a stuffy company party where everyone secretly gets drunk to get through the night or one where people actually like each other?”

“People actually enjoy each other there. And it’ll be a barbecue at one of the player’s houses, so it’s a totally chill thing.”

“Oh, well, it’ll be good to meet your coworkers then. I can finally put some names to faces, but I can’t guarantee that I’ll remember anything.”

“Alright, I’ll make sure that you’re on the guest list. Some of the players will be there with their partners, so you’ll have the chance to meet them if you want to.”

“I honestly could not tell you who’s who still, so I probably won’t even know that I met any of them.”

Sammy laughs. “That’ll provide some good chirping material for them.”

“Glad I could be of service,” Eva jokes.

“You’ll fit right in; I promise.”

~ ~ ~

Finally, the day of the barbecue rolls around. It’s still sticky hot, so Eva keeps her outfit simple with a tank top and a pair of shorts. Sammy insisted that the dress code was casual and there’s no need to dress nice. The whole thing is just a chance for everyone to mingle and meet the new people joining the Canes.

Despite still not really knowing any of the players, Sammy tells Eva about a new player that’s coming to the barbecue today. She seems excited to meet whoever the guy is, so Eva tries to remember his name, but forgets it the closer they get to the house where the get-together is being hosted.

Sammy has to park a little bit away, so when the two of them walk up to the house, Eva lets out a small gasp. The house is huge and the backyard looks gigantic. She supposes it has to be, to host an office party. However, it’s still a reminder how lucrative being an athlete and sports management can be.

“It’s fucking ridiculous, isn’t it?” Sammy snorts. “Not that I’m complaining, since it always means good food and alcohol, but still. I’m still honestly not completely used to it and I’ve been coming to these things ever since I started working here.”

“This is…a lot,” Eva comments. “But I’m excited to look around.”

Once they get into the house, Sammy drags Eva out to the backyard and introduces her to a bunch of people. Eva immediately forgets all of their names, but just smiles and nods along. After a little bit however, she decides to split off from the group to go get some food. She lets Sammy know and walks off to the other side of the yard. Once she gets her food, someone walks up to her and introduces himself.

“I don’t think we’ve met yet,” he says. “I’m Dougie.”

“Oh, it’s good to meet you, I’m Eva,” she replies. “I don’t actually work here, I’m with Sammy. I guess that makes you coworkers, right?”

“Um, I think? Technically?” he replies, unsure.

“Do you work in management then? Didn’t take you for the type, but I guess I shouldn’t judge.”

“Um, I mean-” Dougie starts to say.

“Dougie, get over here, we need to show you something!” someone else shouts.

He looks apologetically over at Eva before heading over to the group. Eva obviously wants to know what he was going to say, but shrugs it off and walks over to Sammy. She’s still animatedly talking to the same people as before, but smiles over at Eva when she joins the group again. After a few minutes, they head off to grab food as well.

“So, meet anyone exciting yet?” Sammy asks. “There’s a few players and they’ll introduce themselves to anyone new.”

“I might have met your boss? Or management?” Eva answers, still unsure of what Dougie’s role is.

“Oh, isn’t she amazing?” Sam gushes.

“She? Well, I guess I shouldn’t have assumed her gender,” Eva replies, immediately feeling bad.

Sammy looks confused. “Um…I don’t think we’re talking about the same person. My boss is over there.”

She points to a petite woman, with ebony skin. So, definitely not Dougie then.

“Well…that is definitely not who I met,” Eva whispers. “His name was Dougie.”

“You met Dougie? That’s the new player I was talking about!” Sammy exclaims. “We literally talked about this before we got here.”

“I was nervous! I don’t remember things when I get nervous.”

“Did you say anything embarrassing to him?”

“I mean, I basically told him that he didn’t seem like the management type? Because he said he was only technically a coworker of yours.”

Sammy snorts. “Oh my god, I can’t believe you told him that to his face.”

“How was I supposed to know?” Eva exclaims. “And I wasn’t wrong, was I? He isn’t the management type.”

“God, I can’t wait to tell everyone about this,” Sammy says, laughing.

“I’m making such a bad first impression,” Eva groans.

“No, I promise this will only make everyone love you more.”

“Whatever you say,” Eva replies skeptically.

Fortunately, the day passes in a much less embarrassing fashion for Eva. She manages to avoid Dougie the rest of the time she’s there, not wanting to address how badly she made a fool of herself. Normally, Eva likes to think she’s more put together than this, but something about it just makes her feel awkward.

“So, what did you think?” Sammy asks as they head out.

“It was fun,” Eva answers. “Still can’t believe I made a fool of myself in front of Dougie, though.”

“Honestly, I don’t think it’s really going to be that big of a deal. I don’t think he’s the type of player to get mad about someone not recognizing him.”

“Oh, well, that’s good at least,” Eva jokes. “But then again, I doubt I’ll be seeing him again, so I guess I shouldn’t be too worried.”

“Bold of you to assume I’m not dragging you to another event soon.”

“Seriously? Why would you take me to another one of these?”

Sammy shrugs. “Patrick has never been too much of a fan of going and I don’t like going by myself. So, I’ll keep taking you until you get sick of it.”

Eva snorts. “Well, at least you’re being honest. It was fun today besides me being an actual idiot, so I guess I can tag along again. When’s the next thing?”

“We usually have something else when the preseason ends, so probably the end of September at some point. It’s much more relaxed since the players are usually off the walls with the energy to finally start the season again.”

“I won’t ever turn down the chance for decent free food, so count me in.”

“What do you need free food for? You earn just as much as Patrick and I combined in one year.”

“You’re not wrong, but it’s also a hold over from the college days. Some things just don’t change.”

Sammy just rolls her eyes in response. Once they get back to the apartment complex, Sammy drags Eva up to her apartment to tell Patrick about meeting Dougie. Eva is blushing out of pure embarrassment the whole time. She has a feeling that she’s not going to ever live it down, but she guesses there’s worse things to be teased about.

“For someone who’s so smart, I can’t believe you did that,” Patrick says, laughing.

“Oh my god, it’s not my fault half of these guys look exactly the same!” Eva exclaims. “And it’s not like it’s my job to know which one is which.”

“Well, you’re going to have to learn if you’re coming with me to more company events,” Sammy points out.

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” Eva groans. “I take back my standing offer of going with you, you don’t deserve it anymore.”

“Sure, whatever you say,” Sammy says. “Besides, what happened to wanting free food?”

“No longer worth it,” Eva replies.

Patrick and Sammy laugh in reply. Eva just rolls her eyes.

“As much fun as I had today, I should probably head out. We have a huge project coming up at work and I know I’m going to be pulling more all-nighters than I want to admit,” Eva says.

“Alright, try to get some rest at least,” Patrick says.

“I’ll do my best,” Eva replies, as she heads out of the apartment.

The weeks pass by in a blur, especially since Eva gets swept up in project deadlines. Before she knows it, it’s the end of September and Sammy is dragging her to the season kickoff party. This time, it’s at a different player’s house, but the place is still as extravagant as the last one. Eva also had made sure to try and memorize a couple of players’ names and faces.

“Hey, it’s…Eva, right?” Dougie says, coming up to her and Sammy.

“Oh yes, that’s right,” Eva replies awkwardly. “And Dougie? Who doesn’t happen to work in management, but is instead a player?”

He snorts. “Yeah, that would be me. The guys still haven’t let me live that one down.”

“Glad I could provide some quality material,” Eva jokes.

“Don’t worry, I’ve made sure that she’s gotten some shit for it as well,” Sammy interjects. “Wanted to make sure the chirping was solid on both sides of it.”

Dougie laughs, and Eva feels herself warming a little at the sound. It’s a good laugh, and she feels a bit odd at admitting the fact. She shoves any thoughts of associating Dougie with being good or cute, not wanting to even go down that road.

“It seems like you’re settling in well,” Sammy says. “Is Raleigh everything you ever dreamed?”

“Ah yes, definitely living out all of my dreams here,” Dougie jokes, good-naturedly. “I do enjoy it here, though. I feel like it’ll be good.”

“Then it seems you and Eva are in the same boat,” Sammy replies. “She’s fairly new in town as well.”

“Oh? What brings you out here?” Dougie inquires.

“If y’all are going to bond over being the newbies, I’m going to go and get some food,” Sammy says, heading off.

Once she’s gone, Eva answers, “I moved out here for work, actually. Moved from Portland, Oregon, so it’s definitely a lot to get used to.”

“You really moved across the country for work?” Dougie says, a bit surprised.

“Yeah, I just…needed a scenery change and Raleigh was the first place that offered a decent job in a place I wasn’t completely opposed to moving to,” Eva explains. “I mean, it wasn’t hard to find computer engineering jobs, so I guess I was able to be a bit picky.”

“Computer engineering? I didn’t take you for the type,” Dougie teases.

“Oh my god, you’re not going to live me that down, are you?”

“The opportunity presented itself, and I didn’t want to pass it up. But seriously, that’s cool, even if I don’t understand what that even means.”

“It’s not much, we just help develop computer hardware and software. Most of the training is in electrical engineering anyways, so it’s not hard to adapt skills across the board.”

Dougie snorts. “It’s not much, she says. That’s still pretty impressive, Eva.”

“Well, thanks, I guess.”

“But I still can’t imagine why you chose Raleigh of all places. Why not New York or Seattle, or whatever? I feel like those places are more known for their tech industries.”

“Seattle was a little close to home for me, and I was also just tired of living in a big city, so moving to an even bigger city was out of the question.”

“That’s understandable, I guess.”

“So, I know you’re a new player here because Sammy mentioned it. But did you sign here or…I honestly have no idea how this works.”

“Nah, I was traded from Calgary.”

“…Is that in Canada?”

“Yeah, that’s in Canada,” Dougie replies, laughing.

“You’re going to chirp me about that too, aren’t you?” Eva groans.

“It’s only fair.”

“Did I miss Eva doing something dumb?” Sammy asks, coming back with a plate of food for herself and Eva.

“Yes, she didn’t know where Calgary is,” Dougie answers.

“Well, I can’t blame her for not knowing. It’s really not that remarkable,” Sammy retorts.

Dougie laughs again, and Eva feels herself blushing a little. He seems like a good person and definitely isn’t hard to look at. She tries to push those thoughts out of her head, knowing that if she manages to develop a crush on him, that it’ll go nowhere. The chances of anything happening between the two of them is slim at best.

“I’ll let the two of you continue enjoying the party, I’m going to go see how everyone else is doing,” Dougie says. “Hopefully I’ll see you later?”

“Oh, you definitely will,” Sammy says, rather ominously.

Dougie smiles, then heads off to where the food is located. Sammy immediately turns to Eva and raises an eyebrow.

“What?” Eva asks. “Do I have something on my face?”

“No, it just seems like the two of you were getting along pretty well.”

“I was just being polite,” Eva says indignantly.

“Uh huh, I’m sure that’s what was going on.”

“Oh my god, you’re the worst.”

“Look, if the two of you become friends, or maybe you know…exclusive, I’m taking all the credit.”

“Nothing is going to happen because we’ll only see each other at these events if I decide to keep coming.”

“Not if I have anything to do with it,” Sammy says, smiling brightly.

“I don’t like where this is going.”

“You’ll be thanking me later, Eva, I promise.”

[junioradventure]

[FANACCT] IMFACT- Tension Up Fansign+Fanmeeting (IMFACTORY) 170521- PLUS tips for these events! (Fanboy)

Hi everyone~ I’m here to share my amazing experience at IMFACT’s Fansign + Fanmeeting Event! If you were looking for reasons to stan IMFACT, I’m here to help you. Simply put, IMFACT treats their fans very well, and especially care for their international fans, as they want to have many opportunities to perform in all the countries around the world. 

I love this concept; it’s so bright, vivid, and screams energetic!

TIME TO START THE FANACCOUNT! Information about this event: - IMFACT has not had an actual fansign event in Korea for a really long time, probably since “Feel So Good” era. They had a CD signing event in Japan not too long ago, but they said it was not the same as a real fansign event. So this was a special event prepared for fans, and doubled as a fanmeeting (involves live performances). - The event participation was carried out first-come first-serve to 120 people. - To apply for this event, the process was different from the traditional fansign process. Instead of buying an album on-site or online, two requirements had to be fulfilled: * We had to send Star Empire Ent. an email with the appropriate information (name, account number, Daum fancafe ID, etc.) before the deadline * We had to send the money (20,000 won) through an account transfer at the appropriate time slot. In this case, when it hit 8pm on the day the payment period started, we could proceed with the account transfer. Because of this, having a Korean bank account was extremely helpful and made the process much easier.  - The staff provided the CD on-site, which made sense because we had to do an account transfer instead of the usual process. The CD had no wrapper and might be a special edition for this event. Nothing seems different about this album than a normal one, except the fact that it seemed like it was opened (plus there was no photocard, idk if the actual album has one or not). I transferred my money right when it struck 8 and played the waiting game. After worrying about getting in, I finally found out that I had gotten in... Thank goodness. I was waiting for a chance to meet them since “In the Club” came out. ON THE DAY OF... Okay. So the event would start at around 2pm according to the post on the fancafe. I woke up at 10ish and left right before noon. The event was held at a Catholic Youth Center (of all places) in Hongdae. I knew Hongdae somewhat but not the exact whereabouts of this site, so I wanted to leave earlier just in case I wandered too much. It turns out, the location was very easy to find, so I grabbed a bite at the convenience store and then went to the Youth Center. I had to say, at first when everyone was lining up, things were a bit confusing. We were told to go down to the lobby floor (accessible by staircase) to check-in. Apparently, the staff were calling us in by numerical order, but on the fancafe post with the official list of participants, there weren’t any numbers by our names. Instead, we had to manually count down the list of people to find our number, and we would tell that to the staff. That must have been a bit annoying for the people who were farther down the list, especially in the 100′s. Luckily, I was only number 40. The order of our names was actually our seat order. That means I was in seat 40. The staff called us in by groups of 5-10. I confirmed my identity with only an ID needed to prove it. Once I was verified, the staff gave me a piece of paper with my seat number and a bottle of sparkling water (how thoughtful!) Then it was waiting time again.

Don’t lose any piece of paper, especially one with your seat number, given to you by staff at the event. They also gave us a complementary sticky note where we write our name. We would stick this on the inside of our albums, opposite of the photo pages for the members’ reference when they sign your album.  I brought extra sticky notes to mark where each member would sign. You should always bring spare notes because you can use this chance to ask the members a question or write a lovely note for them. Note: Some groups do not allow questions, so always follow the rules and read the information carefully on fancafe updates. After a bit more waiting, we could go in! I should probably get started on the actual event and the members. OK! We were waiting when all of a sudden, THE LIGHTS JUST DIMMED AND TURNED OFF. LIKE WHAT THE. The room was silent until “Please Be My First Love” CAME ON AND IMFACT WALKED ONSTAGE, SINGING IT LIVE! My heart died for a little instant, as my brain struggled to comprehend and process what was happening. Everyone seemed to be shook because there was not a single noise from the audience when IMFACT began singing. That was such a nice surprise and ahhhh I just love that song so much. Listen and love it lots.

After that impromptu performance, the boys sat at the table for the start of the fansigning. They greeted us and said a few words, thanking us for coming to this long-awaited event. Jian tried to add some things, but he kinda hesitated and seemed so cutely awkward like awww it’s okay, you’re so precious!!  ONE RANDOM CUTE NOTE: The members commented about how many people came to this event, specially international fans (there was a handful of English-speaking fans there, and a lot of Japanese fans ((yay!))) BUT SANG ACTUALLY ANNOUNCED, “There’s a male fan here too!” AND THAT WAS ME Y’ALL. I WAS THE ONLY MALE FAN THERE AND AHHH I FELT SO SPECIAL. I waved like crazy when Sang said that, and some fans laughed. Taeho and Jian seemed pleasantly amused at this. Soon, the fansigning portion officially began. Let’s move on to individual member interactions I had~ (warning: FEELS AHEAD!!) The order was like this: Jeup→Ungjae(bias!!)→Sang→Taeho→Jian HANDSOME MAIN VOCAL, PARK JEUP ★ Jeup was so friendly and talkative!! Even though my Korean isn’t perfect, we talked the whole time. What really makes me appreciate a group is when they take into consideration your level of Korean if you’re an international fan. Some groups (not going to name names) make the situation awkward for international fans because of the language barrier. I’m not bashing these groups just for that reason, but it still is disappointing when you want to be open and flexible to your diverse fanbase, wherever they may be from. What I mean is, I had an experience with an idol group or two where members did not talk to me much, in English nor Korean, even when I was trying my hardest to speak in Korean. Thankfully, Jeup complimented my Korean skills. Anyway, he asked when I became a fan of them. I told him ever since “Feel So Good” era, and that I especially liked that track. I asked him, what was his favorite song, and he first replied, “Tension Up”, but also added, “In the Club” and “Please Be My First Love”. I agreed, saying that the trio of songs were all great. I commented that I especially think of PBMFL as 강추 (strong recommendation). Jeup burst out in laughter and complimented me again, saying that I even knew slang like “강추".  He also asked where I came from, which is like a customary question we international fans get from idols. I told him America, specifically Hawaii, and pointed at the post-it note for him.

Translation- Q:This isn’t a question, but please come to Hawaii! A: All right. We’ll definitely go. (YAAAAAAAAAAAS PLEASE COME AND VACATION IN HAWAII!!) Jeup looked at the note and actually said he really wants to visit Hawaii. I advertised the islands to him, saying that the weather is nice, the sceneries are great, and he added, “the beaches are good too”. So, he expressed that he wants to take all of the members there to have fun. Please do, we’ll welcome you warmly~ Finally, I told him his hairstyle was really nice today. It was spiked up and it really suited him! He thanked me, and I asked what he personally thought of it. J: I like it. Styling the hair upward is very masculine. Me: Right, I agree. Do you prefer having your hair styled up or bangs down? J: *thinks for a bit* I think both is good, but now, having your hair styled up is rather cool now. So I personally like it this way. Me: Yeah! Especially since nowadays it’s quite hot, right? J: Right! Then I told him I’d continue supporting IMFACT in the future. Such a cool guy~ Gonna hold you to your words, Jeup. See you guys in Hawaii. A hui ho! BOYFRIEND MATERIAL/GENIUS LYRICIST/SHY CUTIE BIAS, NA UNGJAE!! ❤ Okay, I’m already dying of feels again and I haven’t even told you guys my interaction. So I can’t believe I was actually meeting Ungjae. I spazzed about him so much recently before and I had so many feels, but it’s always so different when you meet idols in real life. I told him I’m from Hawaii, like I always do.  U: Hawaii? Wow. Me: Am I the first fan from Hawaii? U: *kind of confused* Sorry? Me: Am I the first fan from Hawaii that you’ve met? U: Ah, yes *laughs* Me: *proud* U: And you’ve come all the way to Korea. Me: Yeah, I’m actually an exchange student. U: Wow, really? *impressed* You’re really good at Korean. Me: Ah, thank you. I still got a long way to go. But I’ve been in Korea for around 9 months.  And, since this was a golden opportunity, thanks to my friend’s suggestion, I decided to just wing it and see what would happen if I wrote my bias a cute joking question.

Translation: Ungjae-yah, I like you the best ㅎㅎ Wanna go shopping together later? (I’m older so I’m using banmal/informal language) Bottom right corner of signature: Thank you!! I WAS SO SHY WHEN HE KEPT LOOKING AT THE NOTE, I WAS LIKE OMG OKAY MAYBE I SHOULDN’T HAVE WRITTEN IT, WHAT IF HE REPLIES NEGATIVELY?! But that was just my panic mode. Most idols with a good heart would play along! But since this was the first time I met my bias face to face, I was slightly worried what he would think. This is how the convo basically went: U:  Ah, shopping? *curious* Me: Yeah *laughs uncomfortably, shy shy shy af* U: *genuinely interested* What kinds of clothes do you want? Me: I like casual clothes U: *smiles* Ah, casual? Ah, I like hip-hop style so... Hongdae has a few places, not a lot. But for casual clothes... *recommends some stuff but I forgot what he said exactly, sorry bb* We talked a bit more about stores and things. It felt more like he was giving me recommendations HAHA but since he wrote, “Cool~!” on my note, then I’ll take that as a yes ❤ Anyway, I got pretty bold at this point and thought, well, might as well just go all out. Me: Actually, you’re my favorite member. You’re really handsome. U: *shyly smiles* *bows head slowly in appreciation* AHHHHHH HE WAS SO ADORABLE WHEN HE WAS SHY, SUCH A QTPIE I SWEAR. SUCH CHARISMA ONSTAGE BUT IN PERSON HE’S JUST A CINNAMON ROLL AHHHH STAN UNGJAE STAN IMFACT EVERYONE. Lastly, I asked him about his work as IMFACT’s lyricist. Me: So, you’re in charge of composing lyrics? U: Of course. Me: When you write lyrics, where do you usually draw your inspiration? U: *thinks* hmm... Well, I just draw inspiration from real life. When I’m thinking about something or when I watch a show or drama, I just get thoughts and write them. It was time to move on, so I gave him one last firm handshake and moved on. Thanks to his sunny smile, I was able to feel accomplished after talking to him. I officially didn’t mess up royally in front of my bias! THE SUNSHINE OF IMFACT, LEE SANG ☀ LOVE, LOVE, LOVE THIS GUY. HE WAS SO NICE!! He already pointed me out in the beginning but seriously, this guy is awesome. Right when I moved to him, he extended his hand out and gave me a big, friendly handshake. He greeted me, “What’s up?!!” in English. S: Ah, Hawaii~ my sister went to America. (I love that random transition of topics) Me: Really? Where in America? S: *says in English* America. For study. Me: *internally: I know Sang, I’m asking where* Where, in America? *says it again* S: *I think he didn’t specify, or he forgot, but he said she just studied abroad, and came back. I just accepted that answer lol* Me: You should come visit Hawaii!! And then he proceeds to tell me that he really wants to go. He looks at my post-it.

Translation- Q: Do you have a favorite Nine Muses song? (NM and IMFACT are same company) I told him that I really like Namyu and that they’re my favorite group, and since the two groups are the same company, I wanted to ask him what his fave song from them was. He wrote Drama, and ofc I love that song too. Darn, I forgot some other little things I might have talked to him about. But here’s another thing~ (I was just speaking my mind at this point) Me: Since there’s a lot I don’t know, who is the visual in IMFACT? S: Actually, we leave it up to the fans, who see members as visuals in their own viewpoints. Like, if a fan watches us, they’ll think “Ah, I like this one! He’s a visual!” These kinds of thoughts. So it’s an individual’s preference. *how precious is this* Me: Really? Well, honestly, I think you’re the visual. S: Ah, really? *short shy moment, gives me another handshake for the compliment* Me: Yeah, you’re really, really handsome. I can’t stress this enough, THIS GUY IS SO GREAT!! I forget what else we talked about, but at the end, I got flustered lol just.... ahhhhhhh > < NEXT, MAIN DANCER BUT TRYNA SNATCH DAT MAIN VOCAL POSITION, KIM TAEHO ♦ Taeho is really cool and just polite and nice~ I just loved his reaction when I said I was from Hawaii. He was like, “Wa, Hawaii?” like aw. And I had to tell him about how cool it was that he got more lines this comeback. Seriously, seems like all the vocals in this group can be main.  Me: Also, I really like how you got a lot of parts this time around. T: Ah, really? *smiles* You like my vocals? Me: Yeah! Compared to the older songs, you got a lot of parts. Isn’t it nice?  T: Yep~ *high-five* Thank you~ Me: Hm, how are the parts distributed, anyway? T: Actually, we each get together and divide the parts based on who fits the lines the most. We come to an agreement and split the parts that way. Like we say, “Oh, I think you would fit this part well”, and so on. Me: Wow, that’s nice~ What do you honestly think of the title track, “Tension Up”? T: I do like it. It’s really exciting. I also like In the Club and especially Please Be My First Love. That kind of style. *sly self-promo as always* Me; I agree!  T: We have more songs in store, so please anticipate them. Me: Ah, could you give me a little hint about the next track? *COMEBACK SPOILER EXCLUSIVELY FROM TAEHO* T: Compared to “Tension Up”, the next one is a bit... slower tempo. It’s hip-hop, but more... relaxing? Chill? Me: Ah, really? Sounds exciting. I’ll continue supporting IMFACT in the future~

I don’t remember much else that we talked about, but that was still a lot~ Such a sweet guy. Really cares for his fans, like all of them.  THE AWKWARD BUT SWAG RAPPER LEADER, LEE JIAN ♠ Last but definitely not least, I met Jian~ Awkward little greetings ftw. Me: Hi~ Jian-ssi~ Oh, where’d your note go? JA: Hi, it’s right here~ *looks at said note* Me: Oh *flustered af, drops head in embarrassment*

Translation-  Q: Is an IMFACT X Nine Muses collab possible?? A: We’ve done one! On the picture: Nine Muses Noonas are coming back soon, so please give them lots of support, and if a chance for a collab presents itself, we’ll do it for sure! In response to my surprise at his answer, we had a convo. JA: We collaborated before. Me: Oh right, "Dream”, right? (referring to Sang x Keumjo’s duet) JA: Actually, during the Star Empire Family Concert in Japan. Me: Oh, really? JA: Yeah. It was me and Keumjo-noona, we did a collab. Me: Ah, which song? I didn’t know. JA: Taeyang-sunbaenim’s “Eyes, Nose, Lips”. Me: Oh, I’ve never seen it. Do you think it would be on YouTube? JA: I think it’ll come up if you search it there. I told him about Nine Muses being my favorite girl group, and he mentioned that they helped IMFACT a lot, and he really appreciates them. AND HERE’S WHEN I LITERALLY SAID WHAT HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME FOR SOME TIME LOL HEAR ME OUT, OKAY? Me: Okay, this isn’t an insult, but I have something to say... JA: Okay, what is it? Me: When I look at you, Jian, I think of Euaerin. You remind me of her a lot. Like your tone... And I remember when you impersonated her. JA: Ah, really?~ *smiling* Actually, I really look up to her. She’s helped me a lot. *I forgot what he said specifically, but he was really chill and nice about this LOL I hope it didn’t offend him cuz they could be counterparts! Killer rappers and amazing dancers.*

Like look at this goddess

And then look at this hunk! LOL. Their sharp features stand out, and they’re really charismatic. (God I miss Euaerin now).  And then it was time to continue my attack on Jian. But this time, I wanted to give him a direct compliment~ Me: But Jian-ssi. JA: *interested* yes? Me:You’re really handsome. JA: *amused at my straightforwardness* Ah, thank you~ *laughs* Me: Yeah, especially this... *gestures at the amazing tie he’s wearing, bless his outfit and his whole existence* It suits you very much. Did you pick it yourself? JA: Actually, the stylists did it...  Me: Oh, well it still looks good! Then it was time to go *sad face* Me: *reads Jian’s message on my album* Ah, but don’t worry~ I’m not just a Nine Muses fan, I’m also IMFACT’s fan~ I’ll support you in the future! JA: Thank you! See you! Me: Bye bye! JA: Bye~ Junior~~ Just the way he said my name at the end made me so warm on the inside hehehehe~ they are all sweethearts. It took a long while to go through all 120 fans, but it was great. They had a little game session with the fans, where they would draw something on a notepad and then the fans guess the answer. The ones who answered would get a chance to take a selca with them. *ahhh jelly* Honestly, during that game, I was confused AF about what they were drawing LMAO I did not know how the fans could get all the right answers! I was stumped. Then IMFACT performed some songs, as this was the “fanmeeting” part of the event. They performed some fan favorites- Tension Up (of course) and Lollipop. And during Lollipop, Sang was EXTRA and ran offstage momentarily and I GOT TO TOUCH HIS HAND AGAIN~! HE’S SO GREAT WITH FANSERVICE. LOVE YOU SANG!! Seriously, they know how to charm their fans and make them feel loved! It was almost time to go, but IMFACT asked the staff if they could do one more encore stage of Please Be My First Love. The fans were cheering, wanting it, AND SO WAS I, LIKE THIS SONG IS SUCH A TREASURE. BEST CHILL SONG RIGHT NOW. Refreshing like a breath of spring air~ Their vocals were on point and it was cute because in the middle, when Ungjae started rapping, his mic turned off for some reasons and had some difficulties but the members helped and lent him a mic until it started working again. So talented and thoughtful agh.  Then, it was time to go~ they waved goodbye and the lights dimmed and turned off again, just like the beginning. Just as they had come. They all disappeared backstage, except Jeup who straggled and stayed back a little to say one last cute farewell to the audience. And that was it. A great day well spent. It was so worth the trouble of applying, even if it was a different format than I was used to. IMFACT is so underrated, and I think Star Empire is not doing the best that they can to help them succeed. Like, the members are all charming and talented and exceptional, but their title songs are not innovative, unique, or otherwise outstanding to really catch the public’s eye. Star Empire failed ZE:A and they messed up Namyu, and I feel so bad for IMFACT. But hope remains, and I will keep supporting them in their journey. I wish them all the luck for stardom.  Please give IMFACT a try. Listen to their b-sides too, they have really good side tracks, which seem to be the real hidden gems of their music. RECOMMENDATIONS FROM ME: Woo Please Be My First Love (If I didn’t stress this enough) In The Club (an excellent r&b, more somber song of theirs) Mirrorz Feel So Good (a really underrated title track, really hype-worthy) And that’s it for my fanaccount!! It’s super long but it’s all my thoughts~ I’m going to make a video for this whole experience, hopefully by tomorrow. I spent so much time on this, hahaha. Until next time~