#j am Not doing that!! i may be a nasty fuck but im not like. a neanderthal

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

some of you may know that i had a popular bnha fic a few years back. however what i DIDNT tell you was that the premise itself was inspired by someone else's headcanon. for a ship that was not the focus of my fic. because they hated my ship with a vitriol and tried to moralize it. (yk in the IF YOU SHIP THIS YOU SUPPORT ABUSE IN REAL LIFE way) so i took they fucking headcanon. now everybody knows me and i dont even remember their url. *this is the koment walt becomes heisenberg voice* i won

[consumeconstantly]

Small Buff Girl Sightings Ch. 5

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | ao3

3:00AM | CoffeeVamp: bb bat update us TheOG: ^^ more info on the situation in paris

3:28AM | Demonspawn: It is difficult to obtain information on Hawkmoth. The butterflies disperse after they are cleansed, and before they land their target, they don’t show up electronically.  Coffee Vamp: o how the mighty have fallen i thought u said u could best me bb boi

3:42AM | Demonspawn: I’d like to see you do better. Coffee Vamp: IS THAT A CHALLENGE Coffee Vamp: ill take u up on that gimme 24 hours and ur going down TheOG: he has had a whole month so dont be too sure of that LadyLady: would you guys SHUT UP its two and some of us have jobs to do Coffee Vamp: cmon babs u luv us dont deny it LadyLady: Don’t make me hunt you down, Tim. Coffee Vamp: oOooO proper punctuation im shaking TheOG: just shut off notifications Babs TheOG: Bruce does Jesus: i don’t think the man has checked this chat in years Coffee Vamp: wdym brucie checks the chat all the time hes just a silent lurker Coffee Vamp: he doesnt even set himself to invisible

3:57AM | Daddy is away. Coffee Vamp: im so glad i have admin privileges imagine if i didnt bruce would have a boring normal nickname like his actual name LadyLady: good lord, why am I even in this chat?? Daddy: You’re supposed to keep them under control. Coffee Vamp: SEE I TOLD U BRUCE IS A SILENT LURKER> THIS. IS. SOLID. PROOF. IN YOUR FACE TheOG: nobody said otherwise Coffee Vamp: also how are the people have you made friends Jesus: Demon spawn? Making friends? Id be less surprised if he told us he has a new fling Coffee Vamp: is j right? Got a winter fling? 

4:12AM | Coffee Vamp: ur lack of a response tells us nothing  TheOG: im sure he’s just adopted his usual icy persona Coffee Vamp: haha hes the bb of so many things Coffee Vamp: bb vamp bb demon spawn ice ice bb Coffee Vamp: getitt im so funny

4:36AM | Coffee Vamp: guys?

“I told you I could get her to write her number on your cup,” Marinette grins with pride.

“And I told you I didn’t want her to.” Damian scowls and kicks a pebble in his path.

“You’re still wearing the clothes I picked out for you,” she points out.

“You told me to wear it. I wore it. I’m not interested in her.” 

Marinette squints at Damian, evaluates whether he’s telling the truth or not. “Huh, you really aren’t interested. I guess it’s a good thing you didn’t wear the other outfit I picked out for you-- that one would have gotten her to ask you out on the spot.”

Damian groans. “We’re going to have to find a new coffee place.”

“Or we could just come when she’s not on shift and run away like mice when we do see her?”

Damian gives her The Look.

“But they have good coffee here,” Marinette whines.

“Maybe you should have thought about that before dressing me up and sending me to my death.”

“It’s not my fault! You only have your parents to blame for your looks.”

It’s true; both of Damian’s parents are good-looking. His whole family is, actually, adopted or not. All of the good looking people he meets are talented and have a tragic life story. Which is the cause and which is the effect, Damian isn’t sure. But it holds true even in Paris. All he has to do is look at Marinette or Adrien, though he’s not a hundred percent sure where the tragedy kicks in for Marinette. Probably the time when she was at odds with Lila, but he hasn’t looked much into the situation. He can even use Lila Rossi as an example. She has even worse color coordination than Damian is, but her features are model worthy. Lila Rossi is also definitely fucked up in ways that Damian doesn’t care to explore.

The effects of Marinette’s well-placed compliments has Damian thinking about himself in a positive manner that he never has before. Bruce is always stingy with praise, and the other senior members of the Justice League of America see him as another Robin that doesn’t need praise because competency comes with the mantle. Dick and Barbara compliment him occasionally, but that’s rarer now that his place is more firmly cemented in the family. Damian doesn’t think he’s ever had someone so willing to genuinely compliment him. Marinette’s compliments extend to more than just his looks, as well. She praises his technological skills as he sets up her website and has complimented him as he helps her out with whatever altercations she inevitably comes across on the streets. If he reveals his skills as Robin, reveals himself as Damian Wayne, will he receive even more praise?

“But since we did buy you that absolute knockout of an outfit, you’re going to have to wear it eventually. So whose heart do you want to steal?”

“I don’t want a relationship,” Damian repeats. They seem like more effort than they’re worth, and he always sees couples fighting and complaining about each other. Plus, they have to make time for each other and his alter ego doesn’t allow for that, though he supposes that he isn't Robin. At least, not right now.

“You don’t need to want a relationship just to flirt with somebody. Who’s it going to be? The intern at the Louvre? My parent’s newest hire? Oooh, how about Nicolette?” Marinette’s voice takes on a more mischievous tone. 

Damian will give Marinette this much: her taste in the aesthetics of people is far from bad. The intern from the Louvre is two hundred pounds of lean muscle with a devil-may-care smile and a deep, belly laugh that makes people laugh with him, but Damian and he don’t have anything in common. Her parent’s new hire is knockout gorgeous, with warm brown eyes, and definitely the kind of girl Damian would have gone for as a one night stand back in Gotham. However, he’s also 98% sure that she has a very possessive boyfriend who stops by the bakery every time she has a shift. Nicolette is considered her college’s belle, and her intense gaze paired with her surprisingly friendly demeanor might have been appealing to Damian if she weren’t ten years older than him. 

“I’m not into any of them,” he says, simply.

“Then who are you into? Surely someone has caught your eye in the past month?” Marinette looks genuinely curious, but her expression shifts into horror. “Oh my god. I’m so sorry. I never asked your preferences, if I was being insensitive, I’m sorry, I mean I’m pan, but you absolutely don’t have to tell me, it’s your right if you’re not comfortable.”

Damian does look slightly uncomfortable now that she’s looking at him more closely. His arms are crossed over each other, across his chest, and his hair is tousled. Then, he lets out a small laugh, and Marinette melts. “It’s fine, Pigtails. All of the people you listed are attractive, but I’m not attracted to them. I’m more of a personality guy, though I can’t say that personality has stopped me from things more than dates before.”

He’s had his fair share of hook-ups and makeout sessions in the past when feeling particularly frustrated with something that wasn’t going his way, though his primary method of relief is through sparring. Short missions and one night stands go fairly well together; he doesn’t ever have to deal with people wanting long term relationships, and even if they do, he’s gone before they know it. So far, he hasn’t hooked up with anyone in Paris, but then again, he’s only been here for a month and this is a long term mission. Whatever time he’s not with Marinette or at school is dedicated to piecing together the mystery that is the Miraculous and trying to figure out Hawkmoth’s identity. 

“Oh,” Marinette continues to blush.

She’s clearly too embarrassed to bring up any other topic, so Damian decides that he’ll shoot the same conversation topic back at her. Marinette is attractive, and people she meets ask for her numbers and dates often enough. She’ll accept the former if they aren’t a total creep, but she always turns down requests for dates.

“And you? Why aren’t you out there questing for love? No crushes or significant others that I need to beat off with a stick?”

This does manage to lessen her flush. She frowns, turns something over in her mind. 

“No crushes right now, no. I used to have a huge crush on Adrien just a year ago. He’s such a sweet person, but we don’t see eye to eye on important matters.” And also not into sex, either. Even physical affection hits him the wrong way sometimes, which makes Marinette worry even further for his well being with Lila’s constant touches. Still, he hasn’t said anything, and Lila hasn’t done anything more than grasp his arm or shoulders every now and then, to reassure the class that yes, they are the golden couple. Marinette also suspects that he is very unwilling to talk about the whole situation in general, and it’s not as though they’re super close.

Of course she had a crush on Adrien. Damian can see it now, Marinette looking at Adrien with her big blue eyes, her lashes fluttering when she gets close to him. Stuttering when she gets embarrassed or when she gets close to him. It makes his lungs constrict, but he’s not sure why.

“As for past relationships, there’s only really Luka. We had a pretty good run, but he’s out of the country, touring. He wanted to try long distance, but I didn’t really want that. But he’s respectful-- there’s no need to beat him off with a stick or anything.”

“I’m surprised a pretty girl like you doesn’t have more suitors,” Damian says, stepping over a crack in the sidewalk as they walk towards the park.

Marinette gags. “There are some other people who have been interested, but I wouldn’t exactly consider them relationship material. If you’re going after a girl just because she looks exotic, that’s sort of nasty. I guess I’m just unlucky in love.”

“At least you’re not as bad off as Ladybug is,” Damian jokes.

She looks at him strangely. “What makes you say that?”

“Well, first there was that creepy sculptor who must have been twice her age, then there’s Chat Noir who keeps flirting with her despite her requests not to, plus all of the random love akumas. I’m not even going to talk about the hordes of guys who chase after her, trying to get a date just because she’s a superhero. It’s not even like she can kick them between the legs because she has an image to uphold and all that.” He smirks, nudges her with his arm. “I’m surprised you haven’t done that with some of your stalkers.”

“Oh. You’re right, huh. Though, I don’t think Chat Noir has actually flirted for a while now.”  Chat Noir has been very subdued as of late, and it makes Ladybug worry.

Marinette feels uncomfortable with the way the conversation has shifted. How does Damian know about all of these past akuma attacks? As far as Marinette is aware, most information about anything Miraculous related is difficult to get a hold of abroad, largely because the Miraculous try to hide their existence as best they can, and partially because Mayor Bourgeois doesn’t want word to get out that he hasn’t flushed a supervillain terrorist out even though he’s had three years to do it.

“Copycat happened three years ago.” It’s a question, almost.

“I figure I might as well keep up with the heroes of Paris. I’m here and they’re interesting.” Damian figures this is as good a time as any to bring up his interest in Hawkmoth. Marinette has been nothing but helpful and she’s definitely the kind of person whose heart is in the right place. Not to mention that she’s definitely smart and seems impartial; the one time he asked her about her thoughts on the heroes, he found out that she didn’t see them as perfect. She was able to critique Ladybug in full, which seemed pretty odd considering the rest of Paris seemed to have nothing but glowing praise for the heroine. “You’ve had some awful luck with akumas yourself. Weird how Ladybug didn’t show up when you got kidnapped by Evillustrator. One of the only times she didn’t show up for an akuma.”

“And what happened to the other heroes? It’s mostly Ladybug now. She must be in an awful state with her civilian life.” He looks off to the park, occasionally flicking his attention back Marinette’s face, evaluating her expression.

She catches his eyes and he swiftly looks away, looking almost nervous. Marinette stiffens. He knows, he knows, he knows, he can’t know. But how? How does he know that she’s Ladybug? She hasn’t let anything slip around him. She's been careful not to. Everything she’s ever said about Ladybug has been brief and curt, taking on an almost angry tone.

“If you’re so interested in Parisian heroes, I’m sure you saw the press conference Ladybug and Chat Noir gave last year about why the other heroes would be showing up less often.” Marinette keeps her voice carefully neutral. She needs to play this safe. She’s probably over reacting-- she’s been on edge with Hawkmoth sending out an akuma attack nearly every single day for the past few months.

Damian shakes his head. “It didn’t seem like good reasoning. Ladybug and Chat Noir are too untrained. They haven’t beat two villains in three years. They should let someone else take over.” 

Marinette has come across a good number of Ladybug and Chat Noir haters throughout her time. Those who dislike the Parisian heroes often make the exact same arguments Damian is now. That they’re not fast enough. That they should have taken down Hawkmoth and Mayura already. This is nothing new to her, though it does hurt hearing it from Damian, for some reason. She can’t even argue with most of the points he’s brought up. Going mostly solo was because of her own, selfish reasons. She really should have beaten Hawkmoth and Mayura by now. 

“The only thing they have going for them right now is that they’re keeping their Miraculous out of Hawkmoth’s hands.” She pretends that the reason why Chat Noir doesn’t show up to battle is to ensure that Hawkmoth can’t get both of the Miraculous in one fell swoop. It feels hopeless to fight villain after villain without any movement forwards. Her mind wanders to the increasing frequency of akumas and smiles, sardonically. “Some people think it’s only a matter of time until Ladybug and Chat Noir lose.”

“Hawkmoth almost seems to be the better strategist.” The two of them pass store front after store front. “Do you ever wonder what they look like, under the mask? Who they are?”

Marinette stares at the concrete underneath her feet. Hawkmoth, the better strategist? Laughable, and entirely incorrect. Even the people who hate Ladybug admit that her plans almost always work out, and that her plans are second to none. Really the only person who can possibly think that Hawkmoth is a better strategist is--

She can’t think like that. Damian is her friend. He’s just curious about Paris. Her lack of sleep and increase in paranoia re making her imagine things that are impossible. Besides, Damian isn’t on her list of suspects-- he told her he’s only been here for a short time, and Hawkmoth’s Miraculous definitely has a limited range. It’s a real pity that the world of Miraculous makes concrete evidence hard to come by, otherwise, Marinette likes to think Hawkmoth would have been behind bars already. 

“No,” she lies. Hawkmoth haunts her dreams and every waking hour. She spends hours and hours on theories and scouring out information and people who fit the clues she’s painstakingly pieced together. “Not really.”

Damian’s eyes are a piercing green, and for a moment, Marinette thinks she stops breathing. “Is that so? I’m really interested in who Ladybug is under the mask. I’d love the opportunity to talk to her in person, especially about her Miraculous. The powers she has are… very interesting.”

No. There’s no way that Damian can be Hawkmoth, right? This is all just her paranoia speaking. Damian is just a foreigner who is interested in super heroes. It’s no biggie. Still, she can’t shake off the idea that there’s more to Damian than meets the eye. The way he walks-- no, prowls-- commands respect. Marinette can tell that he knows how to fight, and knows how to fight well. He’s very good at finding information on people-- she sent a whole case file to her on Renee and his situation with his mother within twenty four hours of going into the precinct, complete with video evidence Marinette knows should have been impossible to procure without hacking-- and keeps up with her critiques on Ladybug and Chat Noir’s techniques like he’s watched their battles over and over again. He remembers akuma battles Marinette has half forgotten, because they happened so long ago.

She stares up at him, hands shoved in the pockets of the jacket she chose for him when they went on their wardrobe makeover. Damian is surprisingly wealthy; he purchased anything she even glanced at with passing approval. He looks straight forward, apparently waiting for some response from her. Just because Damian is her friend, doesn’t mean she can immediately expunge him from her list of suspects. So far, she has taken all of Damian’s words at face value. It didn’t matter to her that he rarely talks about his family or his life before Paris. It didn’t matter that he hadn’t brought her to his home during all of the weeks that they’ve been hanging out together. Really, Marinette just figured that he had a rocky relationship with his family, and that he may have been on the poorer side and was embarrassed to show her where he lived. But clearly. Damian is well off enough to afford brand name clothes without batting an eye. Things aren’t adding up. All of the red flags that she’s blatantly ignored start to crop up in her head.

The book on the species of butterflies that akumas are made of, tucked under his arm. The way he showed up after every single akuma attack when she rarely saw him in the area before or during it. His knowledge of the three languages that form the basis of the Miraculous Tome-- Mandarin, Arabic, and English.

If he is Hawkmoth, what sort of emotions would he be feeling right now? Some sort of euphoria, maybe, realizing that he could get infinitely closer to Ladybug when she is Marinette. Anticipation, too. Has Marinette been hanging out with a super villain for the past month? Has she really come to the point where she can call a supervillain her best friend?

Marinette takes another look at Damian’s outfit. Master Fu said that the Miraculous Hawkmoth owns is in the shape of a brooch. Marinette sees no such object on Damian, which could either mean that he’s not Hawkmoth or that he’s just been taking it off whenever he’s with her. She’s really hoping it’s not the second option.

She needs to gather her thoughts, make a plan on how to proceed. When she’s sure that Damian isn’t looking, Marinette sets off the ringtone that is saved for her Maman’s texts and calls. This catches Damian’s attention, and she waves looks up from her phone as though she’s responding. 

“Maman wants me to do a delivery. If you’re looking for more information on the whole superhero situation in Paris, I can get you Alya’s number. She runs the Ladyblog-- I’m sure she’d be glad to talk with you.” Alya also has some of the worst conspiracy theories that Marinette has ever seen. She doesn’t often keep abreast of what the Ladyblog’s portrayal of Ladybug is, but back when Marinette and Alya were friends, she was subjected to wild theories that made her stomach nauseous with how little logic there was. Which means that if-- if-- Damian is actually Hawkmoth, he might be thrown off by what she says.

“I’ll see you on Monday? Jagged texted me last night and wants me to change the embroidery on his commission.” This isn’t exactly a lie; Jagged wants one of the smaller details to be changed, but it certainly won’t take as long as she’s suggesting. Marinette hopes that it’s enough of an excuse to get Damian off her back for the rest of today and tomorrow while she reevaluates her game plans and life choices. 

Damian waves her off. “I don’t think that Ladyblogger girl knows anymore than I do. She’s of no help to me. I’ll see you on Monday.”

#

Marinette’s reaction to Damian’s questions are weird. There’s an underlying tension that she exuded before they parted ways, and he’s still thinking about it a day later.

Marinette, who he always finds near an akuma attack right after it occurs. Marinette, who is emotionally and physically superior to most other Parisians. Marinette, who hasn’t been akumatized in a class full of idiots and other victims. Marinette, who doesn’t like Ladybug even though she seems like a fairly competent and kind hero, despite the fact that she hasn’t caught Hawkmoth yet. Marinette, who rarely talks about akumas despite all of the time he spends with her, which is highly unusual because even people he only briefly meets manage to slip in something about akumas into the conversation. Damian feels like there must be some sort of connection between Marintte and the akuma situation that he’s not getting, but it’s eluding him.

He sits down with his laptop in his apartment and looks up information about Marinette Dupain-Cheng. She’s definitely just as talented as he suspected; in her ninth year of schooling, she won a Gabriel competition, participated in a music video of Clara Nightingale’s, and collaborated with Jagged Stone on an album cover. So that was how she met him-- he wondered, but never asked. There are also a few instagram posts that have tagged her as a good samaritan and a few articles that detail a small, asian girl who’s going around Paris helping random people that are in need.

The weird things that Damian finds are contained in her school records. She’s apparently in very good company with her IQ, but what’s more interesting is all the dates that she is tardy or absent from school. They line up perfectly with all of the dates that akumas appear. He feels dread gather in his stomach. 

A few more searches seem to cement his growing suspicions. Around the same time that Marinette obtained a truce with Lila matched up with when theorists believed that the Italian girl started working with Hawkmoth. He reads the instagrams and tweets of her classmates from the first year that Hawkmoth arrived, which talk about how excellent Marinette is at calming them down and guiding them to a better place. He also reads the posts of Chloe Bourgeois and Alya Cesaire and the articles about Marinette and Evillustrator that tell a slightly different story-- that Marinette is capable of manipulating others into more unpleasant situations.

Damian jolts. There is an incoming call from his father. 

“Are updates on Paris, Damian?” 

Should he give them a clue to his growing suspicions that Marinette is Hawkmoth? No, he can’t tell them until he gathers more information. 

“No,” he says. “Information about Hawkmoth and the Miraculous are hard to come by.”

There’s a sigh and what sounds like the rustling of papers from the other side. “I figured. Tim and Barbara can’t find anything over here, either, but the Justice League is worried. They want results.”

“The Justice League and I agreed that having Robin make an appearance would be beneficial. Gain Ladybug and Chat Noir’s trust, or find Hawkmoth. Information might come easier with your alter ego.”

“All right.” 

Another pause. He and his father have always had an awkward relationship. Bruce didn’t know of his existence until he was ten, and by that time, the most formative years of Damian’s life had already passed. Bruce Wayne may be many things, but good at dealing with children, he is not. Even after adopting so many children, he doesn’t know how to raise a child. Damian and his brothers have all raised themselves, with Bruce only stepping in when one of them is really going off the rails.

“Is everything else going well in Paris? School is good?”

“School is fine.” Damian wonders whether he should tell his father about Marinette. About the girl who is kind and capable and scarily efficient at dispatching criminals for a citizen and-- he can’t think about her like that. He decides against telling his father about her. She might be Hawkmoth, after all, and confirming her existence to his father means that he’s denying that possibility. “Gotham?”

“Nothing out of the usual. A few run-ins with the Joker.”

Another silence. The lapses in conversation aren’t awkward, but Damian thinks of the playful banter Marinette has with her parents and frowns. 

“Goodbye, Father.”

“Goodnight, Damian.”

Damian looks around at his empty apartment. There is nothing in it, except for his suitcase and a few pieces of furniture. It’s nothing like the manor, where he knows that Tim is up at all hours slaving away on another project that Damian rarely gets to see, or that Jason is in the training room with Dick joining him occasionally. He can’t pick a fight with Tim or have Dick try to mediate the conflicts between himself and Jason. No nightly patrols with three or four people talking over the comms, or near instantaneous backup when he gets into a tight spot. There is no Alfred or Barbara or Cassandra or Bruce here. Only Damian. 

He looks down at his laptop, at the various information and images of Marinette that he has up on his screen. In good conscience, he can’t continue being friends with her. Not with the possibility that she is the person he’s trying to hunt down. 

He remembers her saying that being lonely is different than being alone. 

Damian is lonely.

#

Patrol is a necessary evil. 

Ladybug doesn’t hate patrol. She’s not very fond of it, though. It cuts into time that she could be spending sleeping or designing or anything else, really. In the beginning, it started as a way to figure out how everything worked under the guise of the dark and without the constant threat of an akuma hanging over head. Then, it progressed into disproving the theory about Ladybug’s age, because civilians aren’t inclined to believe that a teenage girl who has school the next day would patrol every day in the early morning. Now, it shows the Parisians how devoted Ladybug is-- that’s something that she’s struggled with ever since withdrawing the Miraculous from all of the part time heroes-- and lets Marinette blow off any steam that she has. 

Right now, Marinette needs to blow off a lot of steam. Still, even as Ladybug, as much as Marinette wants to scream to high hell and back about how she’s been friends-- very close friends, she’d dare to say-- with the same person who has been terrorizing Paris for years, she can’t. If she screams, there will be media coverage on it, and she doesn’t want to deal with what the press would write up some article about how Ladybug was overworked and needed to bring back the other heroes, or that Ladybug wasn’t mentally sound enough to take care of Paris, she should just give up the Miraculous, or that Ladybug’s scream was [insert some poetic nonsense that English teachers wax about for hours even though the author never intended the audience to read that deeply into it].

Marinette doesn’t want to admit it, but she’s gotten close to Damian. She’s as close to him as she is with Kagami, Luka, Jagged and Penny. Damian knows that she’s MDC. He knows her hopes and aspirations. He knows her family, knows the majority of her friends, and knows what’s important to her. It will be so easy for him to tear her apart now. Marinette isn’t sure what Hawkmoth is waiting for, but she almost hopes that he’ll get it over with sooner rather than later.

What will Hawkmoth do first? Go after the website that he helped her make, probably. Cut off the financial support that she could use to run away and create another identity. Then, he’ll go after her friends, few and far as they may be. Renee next. Her family, last. She wonders who Mayura is, if he is Hawkmoth. She hasn’t seen anyone that’s close to him. Then again, Damian reveals next to nothing about himself. She’s never even seen where he lives.

There’s a shadow on the rooftops. 

God, of course Hawkmoth would send out an akuma today. He knows how horrible her mental state must be. There’s no way he wouldn’t take advantage of that.

She yoyos over to the shadow, not close enough to strike or apprehend, but close enough to easily give chase without the akuma being able to give her the slip.

“Ladybug,” the akuma says.

“Cut the crap. We all know you want the Miraculous, Hawkmoth. Let’s get to it.” The shadow steps forward where a street lamp illuminates its costume, and once again, she is assaulted by the barrage of colors on her eyes. After seeing how awful Damian’s color coordination was, it’s easy to come to terms with the awful designs of all of his costumes. Still, she’s surprised that the boy who dresses in the same outfit every day creates such outlandish costumes for all of his minions. 

The akuma frowns, tenses. 

“I’m not Hawkmoth,” it insists. “I’m Robin, a vigilante from Gotham. I’ve come to learn more about the current situation and aid you in taking Hawkmoth down.”

 Ladybug scoffs. She’s not sure what this akuma’s tactic is, but none of the others have tried to lie to her so blatantly about their identity. And ripping off an identity? That is a new low, even for Hawkmoth. She’s sure that the real Robin didn’t agree to this, and if she were close with the vigilante, maybe she could get him to throw a lawsuit or two at Hawkmoth once he was in custody, just for kicks.

Robin the akuma scrambles, apparently looking for something that can verify his identity. 

Ladybug strikes. There’s no pride in striking an opponent when they are distracted, but it’s a means to an end. If Damian is dumb enough to send out an akuma confused about its identity tonight of all nights-- a night where Ladybug is distressed and it would be all too easy to take advantage of her-- then she’s going to take advantage of it.

It’s easy to bind the akuma. Startlingly easy. The akuma is different tonight, then. His powers have something to do with close contact, maybe? Ladybug looks on his person for things that could be the point of akumatization, eyes flitting from Robin’s waistband to his mask.

She comes to an unpleasant conclusion. The measurements and the coloring are a perfect match. Hawkmoth has come to meet her in person.

“Damian,” Ladybug hisses. 

Damian’s eyes widen, like he doesn’t know how she’s pieced together his identity. How stupid does he think she is? He’s been dropping hints constantly. Information a transfer to Paris shouldn’t know. Never telling Marinette anything personal. Always being near an akuma attack when it happens. It’s almost like he wanted her to figure out his identity.

“How did you know?” 

“Please, Hawkmoth, did you really think that Marinette couldn’t connect the dots? You must have thought awfully little of her if you thought that your constant appearances near all of the akuma and questions about the Miraculous didn’t lead me to your identity.”

“Hawkmoth? Ladybug, I’m not Hawkmoth, I’m Robin.”

“And I’m the queen of England. Renounce your Miraculous now, Hawkmoth. Or I’ll beat you until you detransform and take it from you.” 

Damian looks confused before his face contorts to an expression of resignation. He recognizes a cold fury in her eyes that is distinct to people who won’t give up until they get their way, and there’s really no other way around this right now. He should have brought his comm with him, but he wasn’t expecting to meet Ladybug tonight; he just wanted to assess the situation as Robin, to get out from his apartment for a second. Rookie mistake. 

True to her word, Ladybug beats Damian unconscious and also until he’s black and blue. She’ll be lying if she didn’t say she took out some of her fury from the past years on him.

But here’s the thing; Damian doesn’t detransform. He stays in his god-awful costume that has the same disgusting shade of mustard yellow as that one top Damian owns. That’s not what’s supposed to happen. When Miraculous users faint, they detransform because it takes a sort of mental awareness to handle the powers bestowed upon them. Is it different because Damian is an akuma? Is there some sort of Miraculous bylaw that if a Miraculous user gets akumatized, they get to stay in their alternate form? Oh wait, that’s right, he’s an akuma, not Hawkmoth right now.

Ladybug stumbles forward, breaking all of the weapons that are on his belt, taking off his mask and breaking that as well. No akuma comes out. She tries his gloves, then his boots. She pats him down, seeing if there’s anything she missed. She rips his suit, too. Nothing. There’s no brooch in his personal effects either.

What is she supposed to do now? 

Seeing no alternative, Ladybug picks Damian up and yoyos back to Tom and Sabine’s Boulangerie to safely detransform and figure out what the fuck is going on.

He’s not Hawkmoth, is the conclusion Marinette comes to after a side by side comparison of pictures of the vigilante and Damian. The horrifying conclusion: the person lying on the floor of her bedroom is actually Robin, the vigilante from Gotham. 

Marinette knows it’s better to err on the side of caution, but she still buries her head in her hands in embarrassment. How can she have gotten him so wrong? She really needs to get better at reading people, because deciding that random civilians are Hawkmoth clearly has not paid off. 

She also cannot believe that the Justice League has decided to step in now, and with a sidekick from America, of all things--Marinette is pretty sure that she sent the videos to the European branch. It must have been three years since her first notification to them. She contacted them immediately after Stoneheart, and again, after Syren when she was distraught at the death that surrounded her. With no response, there was nothing she could do. She has to start relying on herself and her own skills. 

Ladybug only contacted them once more, after Heroes’ Day. At that point, Ladybug had been thinking for a while that someone who was naturally superpowered or someone with a high grade of intelligence-- like the heroes affiliated with the Justice League-- would do more harm than good if they were allowed in the city. After the devastation of her teammates being akumatized, and the nearly week long battle that ensued, she was certain that she could barely fight her teammates, let alone trained professionals. So with shaky hands and red rimmed eyes, she said to please disregard her earlier messages; the situation in Paris wasn’t that bad, and Ladybug could handle it. 

Damian groans. Marinette jumps; he is waking up far earlier than she anticipated. She wants to transform back into Ladybug. Being in her spots gives her a pseudo sense of security. First, though, she has to restrain him. Even though he isn’t Hawkmoth, she’s not sure whether he’s a threat or not. She makes quick work of it, using the thickest zip ties that she has on hand and restraining his arms and legs.

She doesn’t get the chance to transform back into Ladybug, but that’s just as well, because at the end of the day, Marinette is the foundation of anything that makes Ladybug a hero to the public. Damian opens his eyes almost immediately after she has finished restraining him, taking in his surroundings and the person in front of him.

“Marinette? Where’s Ladybug?” No questions of how he got there; Ladybug can clearly carry her own weight and more. No questions as to why there are zip ties cutting into his wrists and ankles; he has seen too many of Marinette’s victims on the streets.

“What do you mean, where’s Ladybug?” Marinette is right in front of him. She might not have the suit on, but at the end of the day, she does have the Ladybug Miraculous, which means she’s Ladybug through and through, and Damian must know that. Otherwise, there’s no real reason for Robin to be spending so much time with Marinette. The fact that she feels more real and true to herself as Marinette than as Ladybug probably means nothing to him.

“She knocked me out on a rooftop. Didn’t know that you two knew each other personally. I’m not Hawkmoth, by the way.” He twitches, then realizes that he’s been tied up. “Why’d she leave me with you?”

So he doesn’t know that she’s also Ladybug? This whole thing keeps getting more confusing. Still, the less people that know about her alter ego, the better. Marinette will keep him in the dark. She attributes his blatant misunderstanding to the identity concealment magic of the Miraculous. It’s powerful stuff. If it didn’t exist, she’s sure she would have found concrete evidence as to who Hawkmoth is by now. 

“She asked me to assess whether you were a threat or not. Whether or not she casts the Miraculous Cure is contingent on my response.”

“Ladybug wants you to assess whether I’m a threat or not? Why’d she leave a possible super villain with a civilian?”

“I help Ladybug out with many things.” Her voice turns to clinical detachment. She uses this method to dissociate as Ladybug when things get overwhelming. Assess the situation. Get in, deakumatize, get out. Marinette needs to distance herself. It’s bad enough that the situation is this convoluted, but she doesn’t need Damian to doubt Ladybug’s capabilities as well. “Ladybug knows that you’re not Hawkmoth now, and she knows that I can handle myself with any run of the mill bad guy, even if they are a supposed vigilante.”

“Tell me, Robin,” Marinette spits the name like a curse, “Why should I tell Ladybug that you’re not a threat? That you are who you say you are?”

In all honesty, all Marinette wants to do is knock Damian out again so she can collect her thoughts. She’s not sure how she should address his presence as Robin in Paris and is still reeling from the whiplash of thinking he was Hawkmoth only for him to turn into a foreign vigilante. Next thing she knows, he’ll tell her that his name isn’t even Damian Grayson. Well, now that she thinks about it, he’s definitely not. After this encounter finishes, she’ll look up Damian and Gotham and see what she gets.

He looks flustered, like he never expected anybody to question his identity or presence. It’s laughable, really. Marinette doubts that the Justice League actually sent him; he’s probably here to explore on his own. That means he’ll only be a pain in the ass to deal with. Maybe she needs to get into contact with the Justice League again, if only just so she can deport Robin with more ease. 

“I can call Batman,” he says.

Marinette doesn’t think this is a very good solution. There’s no way for her to prove that the person on the other side actually is Batman and not some actor. But after racking her brain, she can’t come up with a much better solution. It’s not like Robin has any superpowers that she can request to see, and she doesn’t have a direct line to anybody from the Justice League.

“Fine. Call Batman.”

“It’s in the pocket near on my right side.” Marinette doesn’t bother going closer to him. She destroyed everything on him earlier, in case it was the akuma’s vessel. Ladybug thought she came across a phone, but now she’s glad she smashed it and left it on that random rooftop. He probably has some sort of tracker on his phone. In any case, Marinette thinks it’s weird for a vigilante to have a phone on them while on the rooftops. Shouldn’t he have an earpiece or something? 

“Your phone was destroyed by Ladybug. Tell me the number to call. I’ll put it on speaker.” Marinette isn’t sure if the number he’ll have her call will be some sort of secure connection or direct line that is only accessible through Damian’s phone, but she doesn’t particularly care because the Miraculous Communicators are exactly that. Miraculous. Master Fu assured her that all communications were private and impossible to crack unless they also had a Miraculous. Which is why she’s using the Miraculous Communicator to call Batman.

Damian winces, then speaks into the offered phone. 

“Batman, it’s Robin. I need to verify my identity in order to proceed.”

“Are you with Ladybug?”

So he is on a mission, then, and not just playing hooky. If Batman is involved, Marinette has no doubt the rest of the Justice League will follow soon. This will be a dreadfully unpleasant call.

“I’m making it a video call,” Marinette says. “And no, he’s not with Ladybug. I’m Ladybug’s point of contact, and she doesn’t take kindly to people encroaching on her territory without permission.”

“Robin, what happened?” Batman isn’t accepting her video request.

Marinette cuts off whatever Damian is about to say. “Damian was suspicious; I reported his activities to Ladybug and she believed that he could be Hawkmoth. Then, she caught him on the roofs and took him back to my place after verifying that he wasn’t Hawkmoth. Video call, Batman. I’d like to see that you are who you say you are, before I send Robin back to the states.”

“She knows your civilian identity? Two people know that you’re Robin?”

“Turn your video on. If you can’t prove that you are who Damian says you are, Ladybug and I will do everything in our powers to deport him and make sure that the Justice League is not allowed in Paris again. Ladybug said that she doesn’t need any unknowns in her city, and I’ve been hoping Robin came here of his own volition. It sounds like that isn’t the case.”

Marinette thinks that Batman curses in English, but she’s not sure. Fluent though Marinette may be, she is not well versed in curses, colloquialisms, or American memes. The camera turns on. It’s Batman, or at the very least, an actor wearing a very good knock off costume.

It’s annoying that Marinette can’t see his eyes. There’s some white film where his eyes should be, and the fact that his cowl covers more than half of his face isn’t doing her any favors in letting her read his facial expression. She moves herself so that Batman can see both her and Robin.

“Why is Robin restrained?”

“Like I said: he was suspicious. I’m not taking any chances.”

A moment of silence.

“How do you want me to prove my identity?” 

That’s good. He’s not asking who she is, though she’s sure that there are cameras pointing at the screen on Batman’s end, running facial analysis and background checks on her. The Miraculous magic will ensure that any connections between her and Ladybug will not come to light. Other than her identity as Ladybug, Marinette has nothing to hide.

“If you’re Batman, then you should have access to the League’s calls, European and otherwise. Play me the last video that Ladybug sent you. I know what she said.” She spares a glance at Damian. His jaw is tight, but when he looks at her, she finds what looks like regret. It’s not entirely Damian’s fault. A mission is a responsibility, and Marinette understands that in order to be a hero or vigilante, one must be willing to do anything to accomplish the mission. Really, she’s only Ladybug because she feels that heavy weight of the words duty and responsibility on her shoulders. Fu’s fault.

“Behave. If you try something, I’ll knock you out.” Marinette sets the communicator on her desk and eyes him. The zipties are so tight around his arms and legs that he is bleeding. Marinette feels a flash of sympathy, then pushes it away. It was his fault for-- why was he at fault, again? 

“I have the video.” Batman sounds even peakier than when they started the call. He plays the video.

“Justice League. This is Ladybug. I rescind my requests for help; I can take care of Paris with my own team. Any help from you at this point would be a detriment and could potentially harm the citizens of Paris. Hawkmoth manipulates strong emotions, and I don’t need to handle a metahuman or tactical genius to gain more power to wreak havoc on my city. I will not contact you with any further requests for assistance.”

It’s an awful video. Marinette had to wait a day after the Heroes’ week fiasco just so her eyes wouldn’t be red. At least her voice doesn’t waver in it. There’s a conviction in the whole video that was unique to that moment. 

Marinette looks at Batman, then at Robin. 

“Clearly the Justice League refused to listen. Ladybug doesn’t want or need your help at this point in time. Why are you here?”

“The Justice League is at fault for not paying attention to Ladybug’s other videos. But Mayor Bourgeois and President Macron can only cover such alarming incidents for so long. Ladybug and her… team clearly need help in order to find and take down Hawkmoth, so once the American branch of the Justice League found out half a year ago, we started to investigate.” Batman speaks in lieu of Damian. Marinette briefly wonders if Damian knows who Batman is under the mask. She bets he does. They’re probably close, what with how worried Batman sounds. 

“What makes you think that the Justice League is any better equipped to handle this situation? Ladybug and her team have been fighting for the past three years and resolved every akuma with no help from you. She needed your help in earlier years. Now she doesn’t.”

“Exactly; it’s been three years and she still hasn’t caught Hawkmoth.”

“You say that like the Justice League doesn’t have a team with more wealth and manpower than Ladybug does that’s been looking into Hawkmoth and the Miraculous for the past half year and clearly has not found any reasonable leads. Ladybug has only been actively looking for Hawkmoth for the past two years, not three. The police handled the first year, not that you’ve done any homework on the situation. Thought that a field agent would help your chances?” 

There is fire in Marinette’s stomach. Batman sounds so dismissive of all of the work that she’s been doing. It’s been hard on her; she doesn’t have the support that she needs and doesn’t have the experience or expertise to hunt down Hawkmoth on her own. She trained briefly under Master Fu to learn spells and ways to expand her powers as Ladybug, but that was an equivalent exchange: she no longer trusts that other holders won’t be akumatized. Her growing cynicism and physical training from Maman came at the expense of Chat Noir; after the whole Lila incident in her first year as Ladybug, she found out that Chat Noir and Adrien were one and the same. And Gabriel Agreste is not afraid to use his son until Adrien is stretched far too thin, which forced Marinette to nearly bench her partner.

“Three years,” Batman says again.

“If the Justice League can’t figure it out nearly unlimited resources and funding in half a year-- both ordinary and super human-- then clearly it isn’t a question of time. It’s a question of capability. Get off your high horse, Batman. You haven’t given me any reasons why Ladybug and I shouldn’t deport Robin here, and you’re definitely not making a good case as to why she shouldn’t go to Mayor Bourgeois and France’s president to ensure that the Justice League and its affiliates and ban hero travel into Paris. Bourgeois already doesn’t want information on it’s supervillain situation to get out.” 

“Marinette,” Damian pleads.

As Robin and as Damian, he doesn’t pose a threat. He hasn’t been helpful, but he certainly hasn’t messed with the status quo for the month that he’s been here. Still, he is a liability. If he stays in Paris, he is the gateway for the other members of the Justice League to fly in and try to commandeer the fragile balance that she has found. She can’t afford for something like that to happen.  

“You’re not any better, Robin. Why did you even hang around me? Thought I was a threat?” Her eyes narrow in realization. It makes sense why he decided to hang out with her, despite his initial cold front. He was playing a role.“You thought I was Hawkmoth.”

His silence is an agreement.

“We just want to help,” Damian says, and against her better judgement, Marinette believes him. 

Her shoulders round, and Marinette sighs. She can’t truly begrudge Damian for that train of thought, not when she believed the same about him. She’s been a little harsh on them so far, in part due to old resentment that they never responded to her in that first, awful year when she needed the help. 

There’s a dull tiredness that comes with knowing someone who she considered one of her closest friends suspected her of being a supervillain, though she did believe the same of him, so maybe they’re even. It still hurts, though. It hurts like when Alya decided that Marinette was mean-hearted enough to stop the members of their class from reaching their full potential. It hurts like when Marinette finally realized that she couldn’t repair their friendship, not to what it used to be. It hurts like when she looked around the classroom and realized that she couldn’t talk to anyone there. It hurts like when Marinette decided that she couldn’t risk helping her friends the way she wanted to. 

“What kind of help can you offer us? We don’t need any more of you to come out here.” Resources are nice. More money to fund therapy programs around town won’t hurt. Master Fu doesn’t help on that part. Really, he doesn’t help at all. Even though she has Chat Noir and had a team, she often feels like it’s herself against the world. Some days, she reaches up to her earrings and feels an aching emptiness, like there’s something more to the Miraculous that’s been sealed away.

“We can give you resources. Money, connections, experience. Robin is good with technology. He can help you track down where Hawkmoth is.”

Marinette’s laugh is bitter. “Sure, he can try, but the butterflies Hawkmoth sends out aren’t visible by the normal human eye or electronically until they’ve found their mark. Once they’re purified, they’re just normal butterflies, and they go off in random directions.”

“Normal human eye? It sounds like there are exceptions.” Damian readjusts himself. He has fidgeted his way into an uncomfortable looking seiza position, where his ankles are bleeding. 

“A true holder can see the butterflies at all times.”

Marinette also decides to throw them a bone so there’s no questions as to why a mere civilian is working with Ladybug. “That’s why Ladybug recruited me. I was Multimouse.”

Multimouse was in the file that Damian sent his father, but he asks, just to make sure. “The one that can split itself?”

“That’s correct. I guess now is as good a time as any for the two of you to get your questions answered.”

“Why are you the point of civilian contact instead of any of the other more frequently used heroes? Didn’t you appear only once?” Damian avoids looking Marinette in the eyes, and that makes her feel slightly better. He’s ashamed of his actions. Good. 

“Ladybug said that the other hero’s civilian forms were either compromised or not in a good position.”

“Ladybug knows who all the holders are.” Batman speculates. He looks less tense now that Damian is no longer tied up, but his voice remains gravelly and distrubed. Maybe that’s what he sounds like all the time.  “Who else knows? Do you?” 

“Only Ladybug knows.” Marinette lives in half truths. She’s not sure that they’re much better than lies, but they’re all she has. Secrecy is the only thing Master Fu has sincerely taught her.

“Why have all the other heroes disappeared?” 

“Ladybug said that it was too dangerous for someone who could be akumatized to hold a Miraculous. Rena Rage, Shell Shock, Queen Wasp-- they were all frighteningly powerful akumas. It’s also why Chat Noir has been showing up less and less; his home life is not the best, and she’s trying her best to ensure that he doesn’t get akumatized.”

“She’s not worried for herself or,” Damian’s eyes flick to Marinette, away from Batman. “For you?” 

“She knows that both of us are good at dealing with stress. We have our own methods of coping.” She looks at Damian, her mouth tightening into a frown. “If you want to stay in Paris, I’ll cut you a deal. We can work together for two weeks, and if we don’t get any results, you have to leave and the Justice League must promise that they won’t interfere again.”

“Two weeks isn’t enough time,” Damian objects.

“If you don’t think it’s enough time, just leave now. I’ll say now that I’m only willing to work with you during the night. That’s the time I work on Miraculous related stuff now, anyways. And stay out of the akuma battles.” She doesn’t actually think that working together will help anyways, and she wants Damian gone sooner rather than later. He’s been making her feel too much and emotions that are far more explosive and easy to take advantage of than Marinette has in a long time. She doesn’t want to be targeted by an akuma because of her inner conflict. 

“Two weeks, then,” Batman agrees. “Robin can contact me if you need any extra resources.”

Marinette hangs up and assesses Damian. He looks almost pitiful, with bruising around his eyes, tousled hair, a ripped suit, and cuts where his skin is exposed. She opens her trap door in a clear gesture for him to depart. Downstairs is dark; her Maman and Papa have long since gone to sleep, and it’s only a few more hours until they wake up to start baking. “We start tomorrow. If you need Ladybug for anything, tell me.”

He’s half way down the ladder when he looks back up at Marinette, into her eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” he says.

Marinette can’t breath. She feels like vomiting. His eyes are so green in comparison to the purple bruising on his face. She did that to him. She made him look that way. All she’s ever wanted to do as Ladybug is protect the people she cared for. But Damian-- Marinette doesn’t know. She doesn't know whether what Damian has done can actually be described as bad. He was just trying to do what Batman told him to do. Keeping an eye on a threat. Marinette wonders how long he thought she was Hawkmoth. She wonders if he ever thought they were friends. 

“I’m sorry too,” Marinette says, and shuts the trap door.

They’re both sorry for very different things.

[elliethesuperfruitlover]

tw/venting

so im once again randomly sad at 1:30 and honestly i hate it. i always seem to get really just down and upset during the early morning. (probably because i need to be sleeping) but this is stressful to be honest. im feeling a ton of guilt that i shouldnt even feel bad about. right, so we all know that im how old? a minor, and like.......im fine with that. im fine being this age. but like....i feel like im carrying feelings for things that dont even have to do with me. some people are like “yeah, i dont want minors interacting with my content” and for some reason, i always wonder if it has something to do with me. it doesn’t, but i feel this secondhand guilt for some reason, and it hurts. and i know it’s really selfish of me to do that, and im victimizing myself with this. i always obey the “MDNI” on people’s posts, but sometimes i feel like i did something bad. like with smut, specifically, i completely understand why people wouldn’t want minors interacting with that, it makes so much sense.

then i start feeling really upset about how i literally write smut, and read it. im starting to feel like there’s something wrong with me for having written smut, and had a specific audience read and react to it. i sometimes feel gross for just wanting to read smut. and a lot of the fandoms i read smut for may have the “MDNI” on it, which is fine, but after that, I feel this deep trench form, and it’s the worst thing. i just feel like im weird, and dirty for wanting to read smut about characters. and here comes the argument of me, a minor, reading smutty ass fanfiction about grown characters, in some scenarios. of course, i imagine myself older, above legal age, but that doesn’t stop the nasty feelings I feel. and with characters that are my age, or around my age, like with my hero academia, like sure, i crush on sero and everything, but i feel awful about reading smut for him. or even thinking about smutty things.

this also briefly dips into how i interact with my mutuals’ fics, particularly the smuttier ones. i think ‘oh god, am i being gross by interacting with this’ and i know that if they have an issue with me interacting with their fics, they would say it, clearly, and explain what needs to be explained. and i love that. but i always feel like im the weird one here, like im the odd one out, i guess because of my age. and i absolutely love and appreciate that they’ve created a safe space for me. it’s just an internal thing that’s really bothering me. and i absolutely love my mutuals as well. and i know that they also love and appreciate me, i guess i just feel that guilt.

and i know that it’s completely normal for kids my age, and teens to think about, and sometimes desire sexual things. and i know that it’s fine to explore those thoughts. sometimes, though, i just feel like im being a hypocrite. i. e. some shoes marketed towards teens, such as euphoria, and riverdale (off the top of my head, not biased) portray teenagers that might not be accurate. i don’t know what it’s like to be y’know present in a high school, and there, but for my own experiences, at least, i feel like it’s not true, or at least not in all of its glory. im like the outlier for a lot of that stuff. and i know it probably exists in some places, but i feel like this is how society views teens, and what they expect from us. i feel this odd pressure to be everything that society expects me not to be. and on some posts and stuff, i see what seems to be a bit of a disdain for kids of my generation, or at least gen z and i just kinda freeze and panic. i go “oh god, do they think this of me” “do they hate me” and i know that they don’t but it’s this lingering thought of “this is what they think of other kids in the same group as you”. i know it doesn’t represent the entire view but i just feel like i cant say anything, or bring it up. it makes me feel like im the problem.

anyway, i feel like i can’t do some of the things that i want because im scared of what people will think of me. like, sometimes i just feel hot, y’know and of course, send nice photos to a pal or two, but i’d never post that shit publicly. why, you might ask? because im a minor, and just because i feel nice about myself doesn’t mean that i need other ppl being gross about it. some people always say “these teens are always posting stuff all over social media. they share everything on there.” one, yes, we do, some people should know better. but also, two, this is new, people are being misled, mistakes are going to happen. plus, when you dont have that outlet to do other things, you go where you may feel safer to do something. it may not even be the best choice either. i agree that teens shouldnt post everything to social media, but i also believe that we should be allowed to make mistakes too? and have a bit of fun (where it’s morally correct, im not talking about driving people to suicide, or posting nudes (or semi-nudes on insta when you’re 13, that’s just wrong) anyways. i just feel like i cant do anything bc im gonna get shit for it, and further promote an agenda, but at this point im kinda starting to tear myself down about other people’s opinions, and that’s shitty.

also i feel like teens cant do shit in GENERAL, but that’s another conversation for another fucking day.

i always try to keep my opinions and everything at bay, because i hate when conflict is directed at me. and i dont like the panic of waiting for someone to text, or message me when i had what could be considered a hot take. i feel like i cant disagree, or think differently. or even sometimes just speak my mind because im scared of the repercussions. so i kinda just shut up, and stay in my little corner, and i absolutely hate that. but i also dont like being vocal about my opinions because of the fear that it produces.

and also sometimes some of the shit that people come up with im like......okay, i feel like i cant joke about. like when i talk about “MILF dennys” or “DILF buffalo wild wings” I DONT WANT TO BE A MILF, NOR A DILF. i dont even want kids, so ahaha. i say that shit as a joke.

kids, get future milf out of your bio, unless you put a “/j” or “/hj” after it. also, you don’t want to be a sex worker, or a stripper. im pro sex-work, but don’t look at that as your ONLY job option. that shit gets people killed, or tortured, and mistreated. if it’s a joke, it’s a joke, but it’s a dangerous choice, and it’s your grave bestie. and no, people contradicting you isn’t sexist, or misogynistic UNLESS IT’S LITERALLY THAT. people can be like “i think your opinion is a little harmful, ngl” and you can respond respectfully and be like “do tell, im open to  listen” and not go off about someone not supporting your choices. if it’s something that you can avoid, do it. IF IT’S ILLEGAL, DONT DO IT. like, prostitution is illegal where i live, so if yall try to do that shit, dont expect to be given special treatment. people already see kids, women, and sex workers as what? OBJECTS. you’re nothing to people who may be incarcerating you one minute, and calling you for a 5 minute hookup the next. it’s not empowerment to be on places, and letting yourself be groomed and taken advantage of by nasty ass people who need to be locked up. i understand that you should be able to do what you wan, and wear what you want, but there’s some disgusting people out here.

and it’s also the usual shit bothering me, the pandemic, school, my brother saying fatphobic stuff, yada yada. i want a HUG. and i need to sit in someone’s lap for god’s sake anyways.

im also pretty sure that it’s NOT normal to have this many extreme changes in mood. like i was fine earlier yesterday but as soon as i see one thing that hits too close, im upset so....anyways.

also yes i feel bad about this because i really need to talk to someone about these issues, instead of y’know, letting them pile up and haunt me until im emotionally unavailable because i hide my feelings. this is further promoting other people’s view of teens oversharing on social media. but to be honest, people are going to hate gen z, and teens for a lot of shit. and i cant stop them from doing that. i can, however, keep myself out of their line of sight and dont cause issues about it. anyways, im gonna go rewatch some invincible (wow 3rd time now). and try to keep my mind off of wanting to be in someone’s arms while we make out. :) 

[radicalreliablerandomness]

(it was 2 long 2 paste in the post lmao)

barry b benson x adam flayman

TW BEE SUICIDE ATTEMPT

adam sat upon the flower, observing the people around him. humans were so fucking stupid, honestly. like who the fuck would think that it was a good idea to put peanut butter and jelly in a sandwich together, when honey would compliment the jelly so much better? idiots. watching as a mother slathered her child with what seemed like way too much suncream, adam could not help but ponder how barry fell for one of these disgusting creatures. and one who looks like theresa may, none the less! barry had bad taste in the bitches if he did say so himself. although that was hippocritical for the bee who was in love with the bee who was in love with a human who looked like fiona from shrek in a human au. wait no, thats unfair on fiona, shes waaaaaayy better looking than that dumpster fire, bitch ass, boris johnson looking hoe with her short ass hair and stupid name. vanessa. ugh- even saying it made adam throw up in his mouth. vanes-augh. [wait can bees even throw up? eh, probably. what would they do if they accidentally ate a bit of a mARMITE otherwise,? that shit be nasty.] cant barry just requite his love and fuck him already? like, this isnt some angsty, 270k+, friends to lovers to enemies to lovers to friends to enemies to lovers fanfiction trope. it isnt 2004 people! sighing, adam ran a hand through his //moist// fuzz and thought about just jumping off of the flower and ending it all. after all, it was a rose, his brother's girlfriends step sister's son was killed by one of those. eh, whats he got to lose? like an alpha male, he triple flipped off of the rose, his small body getting closer to the thorns as every second passed, waiting for them to penetrate him. (ha, shame itd be the roses doing that and not barry, eh? ;))) until they didnt. what the fuck? he was meant to be dead and no longer have to face his unrequited love for his best friend and the fact that his mother was making him go on a vegan diet. (apparently cannabalism 'isnt good for his mental health.' well look where my mental health has gotten me now kAREN.) adams musings were interrupted by a voice. "jesus christ adam what the hell were you thinking?"

barry? barry had saved him? oh. well of course he had, barry was so fucking perfect with his black and yellow stripes and his sexy voice. goddamit, why did he have to have a nice personality too? why couldnt he just be an asshole fuck boy? "adam, can you hear me there buddy?"

buddy? ugh. i just got r/friendzoned.

"ugh yeah barry-buddy- i can hear you"

"great. now wHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING ADAM? YOU COULDVE DIED. DIED! YOU WOULD BE DEAD AND ID NEVER BE ABLE TO TELL YOU HOW MUCH I-" barry broke down into sobs as adam patted his back gently, wondering what barry wanted to tell him.

"barry, its okay- you saved me. im here now and you can say whatever you wish."

"adam i- i- fuck."

"take your time, love. its okay"

barry looked at adam strangely as he realised what he had just said. LOVE? SHIT. WHAT THE FUCK WAS HE THINKING?

"adam i love you."

adam waited; and waited; and waited. this had to be a joke. a cruel friendzoning or a shout of no homo afterwards. but barry was silent, looking everywhere but at him.

"-and" barry continued, finally locking his eyes with his sunlight struck orbs of amber.

"i know you love me too."

adam stared at barry, transfixed on the bee in front of him, the bee that he loved. how did barry know? apart from the slip up a second ago, he had done a pretty good job at keeping his emotions hidden. he was just a dude chilling in a honey tub, five feet away from barry because he wasnt gay. then it hit him, like a truck hitting a fox.

"sonofabitch you read my dream journal."

barry looked at him sheepishly, with guilt ridden eyes.

"well you left your diary at my house. and i read those pages, you really love me baby..."

adam coughed, trying to hide a splutter at the fact that barry had just called him baby. this bee was going to be the death of him.

"ha, yes-well. i- it is true. i do love you barry."

barrys face immediately broke out into a grin as he brought adam into a tight hug, clinging onto adam as if he were going to discintegrate, like voldemort in the deathly hallows movie despite the fact that in the books he just died like a normal fucking person. thanks hollywood. anyway, adam buried his face in barrys fuzz, finally at peace.

"waIT!" he screamed suddenly, pulling away.

"what?" barry answered, looking slightly scared for his life.

"what about vanessa?"

last time hed seen barry hed been infatuated with the she-demon, wtf happened? was barry fucking with him. he didnt want that. barry should be fucking him not fucking with him. what if-

"oh her? yeah she poured milk before her cereal. crazy bitch" barry stated, wrapping his fingers in adams fuzz.

adam giggled, relieved that this wasnt just a joke.

"yeah, i always got those kinda vibes from her."

he turned to see barry smiling softly up at him.

"yeah, i should have realised sooner."

and with that he was back in barrys arms, never wanting to leave.

IM CRINGEING BUT AT LEAST IM NOT A COWARD

“YOU READ MY DREAM JOURNAL” I AM ACTUALLY DYING OF LAUGHTER NOW THANK YOU FOR YOUR BRAVERY KIND SIR THIS IS PROBABLY THE BEST PART OF THE DAY OH MYGOD I CANT ALSO PLEASE DONT BASH PB AND J ITS AMAZING 

[meggysmallsworld-blog]

F You’s & Thank You’s

I drove around the island today. Hoping to find answers, or a cruise ship waiting for me. Neither of those things happened. I told myself that I was going to eat at a place I have been wanting to for a while now, that didn’t happen either. There were no parking spots, at least that was my excuse. I could had waited around, or drove a little further down to park. Instead, I pulled up Chick Fil A on my map and drove there. Only to find out that they don’t have a drive thru. Chick Fil A Express, yet.. No express drive thru. So here I am, sitting in my hotel bed, waiting on Waitr App to deliver my Chick Fil A. I’m numb, everything about me is numb, yet im sober. I don’t know what is worse, numbness or pain. They’re both pretty painful.

Oh look, Cherri picked up my order and is on her way. I guess I should find the tv remote I threw off the bed last night, and open the curtains so it doesn’t look like a depressed soul searcher is staying here. Why else would anyone come to an island, in the cold rain, on a weekday? To run away I suppose. It’s dark humor to say that i've run away from home. At the end of the week I will go back to my home and no one will ever know that I was gone. I didn’t really run. Well, I don’t run at all. I just simply drove to a destination with hopes of finding something. There is nothing to be found here. An empty room, with only the sound of the fan blowing.

Lunch was nice, although i’m stuffed im thinking off all of the better food choices I could have made. I think of four years ago when I was going through what I thought was the hardest thing anyone could ever go through, divorce. I was actually my happiest then. Well, towards the end when I weighed one hundred pounds less and worked out every day. I need to get back there. It’s not easy, but damn I was so much happier then. I know how to do it, and I know I can do it. I just have to do it. Finding motivation is the hardest part of a life change. Maybe I have found something down here on this island. I think of how i’d look in a bathing suit, and how much better I would feel as a person. Maybe the key to happiness is a lifestyle change. Instead of looking for new vacations, maybe I should look for healthier food recipes.

I imagine going on the Halloween cruise next year, with a new costume idea.. Happy Me. Looking fine as hell, having everyone wondering who this new girl was. It’s the new me bitches. With my head raised high, my boobs padded, and a slimmer outfit. I don’t care if everyone sees my stretch marks, baby that’s where i’ve been; not who I am.

Imagining is only the beginning of this process. Lacing up my tennis shoes is the next. I don’t mean to make excuses already, but it is 50 degrees with winds blowing 30 mph. I already have a cold as is it, think weekend is about getting better. I’ll start now, in my warm hotel room.

A new Carnival ship comes in tomorrow. Maybe i'll walk to the pier to see it come in. It’s only five miles. One way. I wish all I needed was a one way walk. I realized how much better I felt when I took the stairs on my previous cruise. One day, I will be able to run up the stairs from the bottom floor to the lido deck, without stopping.

Here it is again, fucking depression. The highs are great, they’d be even better if they stayed around. It’s the lows that really suck. Thinking sucks. Thinking of you completely sucks. Thinking of all of you, sucks the worst.

Darrin, you were the first. Your perfect family didn’t have any more room for me, although you tried. It wasn’t for me. You still try, sometimes, around the holidays. I know it hurt you, but coming into my life made it worse.

Jimmy, my first kiss; well if you call getting caught in the band hall a first kiss. We passed notes on the bus, and you made me fall in love with your lies. My parents called yours.

Tara, you stayed the night at my house after church. You taught me what it was like to really explore the female body.

Hunter, I loved you the most first. My real relationship, your parents gave me so much hope for a normal family, they were just as broken. Your brother tried to sleep with me. We went on dates with our parents. I don’t even remember why we broke up.

Ethan, you were my best friend. You made me laugh and made me cry. You moved schools for me. Just for me to turn around and fuck it up. I didn’t cheat on you. I broke up with you because you didn’t believe that there was a Heaven and Hell.

Jason, you were my first. I made up lies to get you to want me, to try to keep you around. You proved that theory wrong. The whole school knew that I turned myself into a slut, just to get your attention in the hallway.

Popular boys, all I ever wanted was you to look at me. To think I was pretty, and funny. The rumors sank in and a nasty look in the gym was I was worth to you.

Popular girls, fuck yall.

Chase, you were just a fuck, but my mom pulled me out of school to take a pregnancy test at your house. With your mom there. It was negative.

Bathroom floor, you held me up when I was feeling so down. You caught the blood of my wounds, and tears of pain. After sitting there long enough, I heard my sister cry out my name from the other room. Yall both saved me.

Bailey, my saving grace. Every time I held a knife to my body, or a gun to my head; it was you that told me to put it down. I love you for that.

Carson, all i ever wanted was a brother. All you ever wanted was to change your last name.

Jane, you told me it was okay if I liked girls. I didn’t know back then that I would forever remember those words said to me in the kitchen. I still remember them.

Coleman, you hurt me. You pushed me against your dresser and shoved yourself inside of me. I couldn’t scream because you had your hand around my mouth. I will never forgive you.

All of the boys in between, i’m glad that i’ve forgotten you.

Brian, I wanted nothing to do with you, but you chased me. You made me feel wanted and I never wanted that to go away. I’m sorry I lost you.

Landon, fuck you.

Kels, thank you for being my guinea pig of women and helping me come out to my cousin.

My worst nightmare, you locked me in your closet. Shoved me on the floor. Hit me over and over until I pleaded sorry. All while I was on the phone with my mother as she called the cops. She heard every scream. The cops broke down the door. You still haunt me.

Jimmy, again. Oh how I loved you. I loved everything about you. Love is fucking blind. Everything I did for you went down the drain the day you gave me a busted lip and a black eye. Every time i tried to run away, you begged me to come home. I did. It was finally your choice to leave, and I could breathe.

Jose, your wallet was thicker than your dick. That’s why I stayed for so long.

James, thank you for telling me I was crazy. I got the help I needed.

Jett, I miss you. I openly write about my depression because of you. Maybe you’d still be here if you could read this.

Jordan, you showed me what true love wasn’t. I felt so bad for your wife and kid the day I showed up at your house and told her what had been going on. I didn’t know, neither did she. I told her I was sorry.

Brad, I was falling and you caught me, but only for your own good. You used me. I hope you’re still miserable.

Chad, I lied to you. I became the person I wanted to be with you, not who I truly was. It was fun while it lasted.

To all the woman I ghosted, I wasn’t ready to come out. I’m sorry I put you through that.

KJ, you broke my heart.

Katy, I laugh at you from time to time. How you act like everything is okay, but we all know that your mom tracks your phone. She’s lucky we had clothes on.

Angela, im glad you’re happy. You were just too much drama for me. I have enough of my own to deal with.

Katie, you want to act bad. You’re just scared. You let your guard down, then ran.

J, you make me question everything I went through in the last year and half. Was it a game? Because thinking back, i’m sure i’ve played it before.

Nathan, I saved you for last. Because you’re still my best friend. The one I can go to. The one i can truly be myself with. You let me be vulnerable. I miss you. If only your roommate would realize that all you will ever be is my rock. I need you the most.

There you have it; my sorrows, my dignity. I may blame those named for some things, but my depression is not one of them. I don’t have depression because of them. I have depression because it’s how my body is made up. I hurt because of them, they each took a little piece of me that I will never get back. It’s hard building up from that.

[soulcollector0100-blog]

Kristie Frankly Vs. Michelle Gomez

             IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF ARLINGTON, VA

Kristie Frankly Address Sealed Plaintiff Case #:    ______________                   v.

Michelle Gomez Bridgette Coleman Darren Robertson Gary Williams Defendant

                                  COMPLAINT

PLAINTIFF,  comes this day, October 07, 2017, pro se, and for the reasons and causes for his Complaint, states as follows:

              COUNT I, II, III, IV, VII :Intentional Emotional Distress, Criminal Harassment, Extortion, Conspiracy, Defamation of Character 1. Plaintiff,  KF, experienced a temporary lag of mental state in 2014. I was told being poisoned or being drugged without prior knowledge or consent can cause the same side effects I was experiencing. 2. During this temporary episode I sent a document that contained sensitive and damaging information to Michelle Gomez and two other family members. I am not friends with any of the people listed at BHLPC. But definitely not with Michelle Gomez and Bridgette Coleman. Michelle receiving anything was the DEVILS work. I did not care to know these females were still breathing. Fake unsavory character character and users. 3. Michelle Gomez initially upon receiving the list said she wanted her name and picture removed and was making fun of the list                       5. After the episode has passed I tell Michelle do not send the list around delete anything you may have. She states that he has not sent it to anyone and that she has deleted the list. Immediately I realize it’s a lie because Bridgette and Gary profile states otherwise. 6.  I’m in the middle of a suit which I will not be naming which requires this suit take place because these people are refusing to act like civilized individuals with MY PROPERTY. Also the list is damaging and personal I’m nature.           7Michelle was given ample warning to furbish a list of names and an admission  that she has sent the list around. She was also given warning to DELETE the list and tell her recipients to delete the list. This is being nice. She should not have sent ANYTHING around to anyone. It was done purposefully to slander my name and my reputation. 8. The Damages are highlighted in this complaint but they will not be highlighted in this cover letter. Please Continue to read Attached pages.

Summary of Events and Relief follows, See Attached.

Respectfully submitted,            _____________________    , Plaintiff                                                 Address Sealed

Seal Address

Vs. Michelle Gomez Nixon and Vanderhye 901 N Glebe Rd # 1100, Arlington, VA 22203

Brigette Coleman Capital One 1680 Capital One Drive, McLean, Virginia 22102

Disclaimer. I apologize to the judges and other respectable member of society for having to read my foul language. But these people flagrant disregard for other people’s lives and property ENRAGES ME. I don’t know these women and don’t care to know them or be throwing around  their names. This Complaint is unorthodox in it veers away from my character and the professional way I carry myself. Please ignore the verbal asswhooping I have to give these young whores.

Write a short and plain statement of the claim. Do not make legal arguments. State as briefly as possible the facts showing that each plaintiff is entitled to the damages or other relief sought. State how each defendant was involved and what each defendant did that caused the plaintiff harm or violate the plaintiff’s rights including the dates and places of that involvement or conduct. If more than one claim is asserted, number each claim and write a short and plain statement of each claim in a separate paragraph. Attach additional pages if needed.

June 06, 2017 On or around April/May of 2014 Michelle Gomez received a list that contained business professionals’ pictures there work places and other personal identifying damaging information.  This list was created by me as a result of an unfortunate health situation. Me and Michelle are not friends and me sending anything to her should have tipped her off that something was wrong. But even if we negate that Michelle was making fun of the document and the email giving me proof that she knew I was not well and that the list should have not been sent around.  Not only am I sure she sent it around to Bridgette whom is a WHORE  A fucking black shit  ball. A fucking White man whore. She is on the other side of town with random men. They are black so we clarify.  A fucking pastor. Just the fucking type to use church to open her nasty fucking legs and her diseased infested vagina. Don’t use me whore. I’m a real virgin. Something Bridgette knows shit about. Darren is a joke.. I need Lysol spray if he looks my way too long.  Bridgette bats her eyes at EVERYTHING that walks that has a fucking penise. Lets make something CLEAR Darren was USED. Someone Was watching on the other side. The men you fuck with barf in my fucking mouth whore. STOP fucking playing with me you fucking white man whore. That’s me being nice. The only white mans face I see you in hes married. And you fucking following him around like a lost fucking kitten. Is married. Sad and Pathetic. All Bridgette’s dude Black and UGLY Dismissed didn’t see shit. I’d hate to be your fucking mother bitch. Asswhooping and you over the age of 30. If you could’ve read my mind years ago. Ewww. Whore. You earned my OPINION because you don’t act like you have sense or self respect or that’s right follow the law. Bitch YOURE FUCKING TRASH.   I’m requesting JAIL TIME YOU FUCKING BLACK WHORE. . Bitch you’re pathetic. Sad excuse for why you send white men the wrong fucking message. A  cheap whore in the restroom. Penny for your used VAGINA. Bitch stop playing with me. I give a fuck to know you’re still breathing. You earned my fucking opinion because you have something that  belongs to me. And bringing my NAME up at all. Bitch I DON’T KNOW YOU. DON’T WANT TO FCKING KNOW KEEP MY FUCKING NAME OUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH WHORE.  I didn’t see shit at BHLPC and I still don’t. Little whores playing adult. That’s a suit by itself. Most of these broadsc ant add let alone they walking round like they should be able to MAKE their OWN decisions. Fuck no.  A bunch of little ass children. Nothing I’m saying here is false. Hand on the bible Bridgette’s a whore and she attempted to use me and she’s not a VIRGIN. I could sue you for that ALONE BITCH.  You place doubt where it doesn’t belong. You know shit about it. Whores like Bridgette use the bible as some sort of calling card to take their underwear’s off. Bridgette is that whore who wears a tube dress to church looking for redemption. I have an idea keep your legs closed. I will take your mouth off for you. Solve all your fucking problems. Whore stop fucking playing with me. If fucking cutting your stupid as up was legal. You’d be in a blender somewhere. I follow the law. But that would be you. Cut the fuck up with no one able to find your stupid ass. The car crash should have fucking taken your fucking life. Not a tear whore.  Give your proof people DON’T deserve the gift that is life. It would have been fucking gods gift to go to your fucking funeral and LAUGH. God works in mysterious ways whore.   Thank your lucky fucking stars or NOT. Jail time whore. Till the death of me youre going to take your check, your mommas check and YOURE GOING TO FUCKING PAY ME.  your taking your tired raggedy ass to jail.    Michelle emailed me and told me she did not want her picture to be used or sent around. She received an email from me a few months later requesting the document not be sent around and that the list be deleted. At that time she told me in so many words the list was not sent around and that the list was deleted.  Immediately following that email I checked two other peoples twitter and linked profiles and two people gave me indication Michelle perhaps was not being honest. Gary was making very suggestive comments and Bridgette removed her picture from her Linked profile which would indicate they both were sent the document. I sue the word indicate because im not 100 percent sure. At that point it would have been done maliciously because although I did say in the email don’t send it to anyone not on the list. What Michelle did was I said don’t kill people wearing red she kills people wearing BLUE. You look fucking BATSHIT. INSANE Why are you listening to a murderer at fucking ALL. ALL Delete. I created the document and I don’t even happy a copy. It went in the trash where it belongs.  Michelle stole a car and they all aware its stolen and they all get in. Youre all going to jail. Brigette’s excited got a video of me wiping myself on toilet. Its hers. Bitch you’re sick.  FYI I like DICK.  White dick ON top of it. Bitch Dismissed. Till my dying day I will never understand WHY women are jealous of other females. SICK and PROBBALY GAY. BITCH KILL  YOURSELF.  A video of me wiping myself on my cycle. You’re all sick. ALL I HAVE to fucking say. You’re fixated on someone’s life who would pay to have you all executed with a shot to the fucking head. I don’t care you’re breathing begging for asswhoopings.  I was not well that WHOLE email should have been disregarded and trashed. And if ANY person is saying they had problem with their name picture or any other information in the document I never received ANYTHING from anyone except Michelle upon me first sending it to her. That would negate any argument that they worried about the list being passed around with their information on it. You’re attempting to make me responsible for children putting words in my mouth.  The world is not about YOU. Thats 40 PEOPLE who had shit to do with nothing and their shit is being passed around. I passed it around to 2 OTHER family member Equal to zero people. A fucking ugly muskrat put words in my fucking mouth. I DONT TALK TO THESE PEOPLE. I DON’T KNOW THESE PEOPLE. I DON’T WANT TO KNOW THESE PEOPLE. BITCH KILL YOURSELF. NOW. STOP fucking playing WITH ME.  I’m pretty sure it was the topic of conversation and the butt of many jokes.  Which I find comical. BHLP WAS A FUCKING COMEDY SPECIAL. Bridgette a whore claiming virgin. It’s hilarious. Just let the bitch walk around in fantasy land. Bridgette knows SHIT about me WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE TALKING TO A FUCKING trash can. One  bastshit. Two it stinks. Threes she’s jealous. Bitch no. That’s why I popped up on your ass to the magnitude I did. I don’t even fuck with black men. Okay bye. Youre not even on my level whore. Continue to imitate and sell your vagina in the bathroom whore. That’s what you come across ass. A cheap WHORE. Keep thinking anyone jealous Bitch jealousy doesn’t exist if we talking about you. You’re a fucking 9 year old at work with your parents take your stupid ass somewhere. None of the men I’ve seen  Bridgette with  and there were many I’m not even stopping at a red light to look their way. NO mam. DIDN’T SEE SHIT. DISMISSED. Tell Darren White makes him look Gay.Eww hwo do I make the dude I want JEALOUS off that shit. Gay. Dismissed. Tell Gary  will attend Him and Gary’s nuptials. Fuck no.   Pick ANOTHER WHOLE COLOR.  So they are passing around a document while they will claim in court that’s my picture that’s my name. You didn’t make anything clear to me that you didn’t want anything to be used but you are sending it around. That list contained about 30-40 people I only sent it to three people. So if she has sent it around I am now responsible for what should have been zero people if people had any kind of class morals or sense.  What makes this worse is I’m in the middle of another suit making this suit necessary among OTHER reasons. I email her on April 27, 2017. I will paste the emails in this complaint. My email will be removed for privacy and safety reasons.

Also I did send Michelle emails goading that I was rengeing on the suit because After I told Michele I was suing. I had to disown three McDonald’s locations because Spanish women or Spanish workers were tampering or harassing me upon ordering. I’ve never had a problem At McDonalds IN MY LIFE till now. I DO have police reports on these incidences. A copy of this complaint will be sent to Michelle. And they will be served individually at their work places. Let me add here I may add an extra 100,000 because that was a scary time for me and my health. Not only are these people unsympathetic. They should have not received ANYTHING. I have to take them to court over common sense and what’s the RIGHT THING TO DO. I WANT JAIL TIME.

……. May 5 to Michelle

So we are clear my last email is so that you ascertain the magnitude of your actions. So when we get to court you can’t say I didn’t know wasn’t aware wasn’t my intent. You control nothing. Two whores looking to insert themselves somewhere one they are not wanted and two a desperate attempt to matter more than what you are especially in my life. I truly don’t see anything you need to get your life together mind your own business and leave others people business alone. Bridgette needs to stay away from married men pastors and random men she met on the wrong side of town. Ooh and the thirsty thing she still has going on. Obviously. I’m not surprised either if you are single. Really. Obnoxious. Begging for ass whippings. On May 4, 2017 12:03 PM, "…." <….. > wrote: Let’s say you don’t respond to his email by the end of the day I give him your work number kay? Kay On May 3, 2017 12:18 PM, "Michelle Gomez" <michellepgomez@gmail.com> wrote: I do not have a list. I am not against you in any way. I am telling the truth. I don't have any reason to lie to you. I'm not sure what is really going on.

On Wed, May 3, 2017 at 12:12 PM, <…. > wrote: PLEASE STOP emailing me unless you are going to furbish a list please see all emails and follow directions. But should you not be following those directions. You are aware of what’s going to happen and if you are not going to follow directions. YOU STOP EMAILING ME. COMPRENDE?

On Wed, May 3, 2017 at 12:09 PM, Michelle Gomez <michellepgomez@gmail.com> wrote: I don't know what you hope to gain. Please just stop harassing me.

On Wed, May 3, 2017 at 12:06 PM, <….. > wrote: I’m sorry I have to be fair SO YOU are aware and no one gets mad Nixon and Vanderhye and capital one. SERVED. Just so you understand.

On Wed, May 3, 2017 at 11:58 AM, Michelle Gomez <michellepgomez@gmail.com> wrote: Pay you for what? My comment was not a threat, it was honestly just me saying life is too short for this kind of stuff (i.e. my mom died and you are still going with this). Why can't you just leave it alone? I don't have a list, I didn't send anything to anyone. I hope you find peace.

On Wed, May 3, 2017 at 11:54 AM, <… > wrote: I find YOU bizarre to BE quite honest. I know your track record. I worked with you as well.  Secondly the life is short comment sounds like a THREAT. Sweatheart. Threat doesn’t exist. SAY WHAT YOU NEEED TO SAY. i DONT TAKE THREATS LIGHTLY. You CAN SAY WHAT YOU LIKE be honest or see you in court. i WONT BE  emailing any further but should I not see a list in my email by the time I get to a computer tomorrow. SUIT. Show OR YOU paying me. End of discussion.

On Wed, May 3, 2017 at 11:51 AM, Michelle Gomez <michellepgomez@gmail.com> wrote: I honestly don't know what you want or hope to get out of this, but I don't have any reason to lie. The fact that you continue to harrass me (and probably others) is really bizarre especially since I worked with you so long ago. I have no reason to lie and don't even know what this is really about. So just move on, life is too short.

On Wed, May 3, 2017 at 11:45 AM, …<…. > wrote: I’m sorry I don’t believe you. Firstly you are responding like water right now. This is your first response in what 3 5 days? No mam Bridgete removed her picture Gary made comments. I really am not buying it. Should have told them to add one plus one then all of you corroborate your story.

On Wed, May 3, 2017 at 11:42 AM, Michelle Gomez <michellepgomez@gmail.com > wrote: I didn't send it to anyone. I had no reason to. I respected when you wanted me to delete it. I have no reason to lie to you either.

On Wed, May 3, 2017 at 11:33 AM, ….<…. > wrote: You have not answered the question. DID you sent it to people. And I’m going to need you to be honest. I am nearly certain you have but I need confirmation and the names as I will be pursuing a case. and it’s imperative I know exactly who. The games don’t sit well with me. Let’s just safely assume I know you're lying.

On Wed, May 3, 2017 at 11:31 AM, Michelle Gomez <…. > wrote: I remember you sending me a list; I just did a search and I don't have it. So there's nothing to worry about.

On Wed, May 3, 2017 at 11:28 AM, ….<….. > wrote: I apologize that your mom died. But imp sorry this is of an urgent nature. Really unfortunate. I’d hope that you dont have a list since I requested you delete it. But I am going to need for you to answer my question. and follow directions. I am sorry for your loss though.

On Wed, May 3, 2017 at 11:27 AM, Michelle Gomez <….. > wrote: I can assure you that don't have any list with any names on it. My mom died, so please stop with this.

On Wed, May 3, 2017 at 7:12 AM, …..<….. > wrote: The fact that you haven’t responded proves that you have something to hide and are probably guilty of what I'm talking about. You have till 8 then I’m just going to file a suit suing everyone I think it was sent to and it you don’t show up. Exactly didn’t want to see any of you. Grown ass woman. Handles things in that manner and acts accordingly no one can pop up on me and embarrass me. Yall act like children and get caught. You don’t show you owe me automatically. On Apr 30, 2017 8:54 AM, "…." <….. > wrote: Im also going to need who they sent it to. On Apr 30, 2017 8:02 AM, "…." <….. > wrote: You have till Wednesday night to furbish a list. Im presuming by your silence that you are guilty of spreading it around. Should you choose to ignore me or not give me a complete list i will file a suit and depending on the nature of the activity surrounding the list a suit may still happen. Gave it your way. Your recipients don't get to make choices or decisions. On Apr 28, 2017 9:04 PM, "…." <…. > wrote: Im going to give you till 8 tommorrow before I assume the worst. Still waiting for the names though. On Apr 27, 2017 9:50 PM, "….." <….. > wrote: Hey Michelle. Sorry to be a bother to you. But I just wanted to confirm you didn’t send that list around but if by chance you did the names of the people you sent it to. It’s imperative that you are honest

I do not have ANYTHING to hide. So I will post all emails. I’m angry for obvious reason.

> May 7 to Michelle

Silly whores. Felt like it. Will talk back with police tomorrow then file the suit.

---- > May 5 to Michelle

If i have to pursue a civil suit. It will be a 100,000 just because you’re not willing to act in a civilized socially responsible way and I’m going to have you subpoenaed for the list of names and their recipients. You not being forthcoming imply malicious intent and criminal behavior. Me having to continuously email is emotional distress and quite frankly anyone involved can be included for conspiracy. The document contains sensitive and damaging information for more than just one person. I find it amazing that you first sent it around but probably turned what should have been ten minutes into what 4 weeks 2 years is it even deleted like I requested and you told me you dud. Did everyone else delete it. I’m also going to try for criminal harassment and cybercrime with intent to call intentional emotional and mental distress. It’s a crime please don’t let one incompetent cop lull you into lala land because I will add damages and throw away the key. There is no room for negotiation. It’s my email. My document and I wasn’t well. It looks like you and whoever you are scheming with are blackmailing me. That’s a crime. How do you guys have jobs. Lmao. On May 5, 2017 12:13 PM, "…." <…. > wrote: It speaks to the patheticness of you and your crew you want something that has to do with me that I own. I don’t care that you exist. There is a word for it obessesion. It's really not a good look. It is crime no matter what youve been told.   I dont wish to know any if you past bhlpc for obvious reasons. This will get handled the easy way or the me fucking ALL your shit ALL the way up. I don’t play that shit youve list you’re mind. Do your jobs know theyve hired criminals. Unstable people whose lives hinges on mine. Desperate and pathetic. On May 5, 2017 11:33 AM, "…" <… > wrote: Please give gmail Bridgette my email. Im sure she has mouth i have an address phone number and email. Until then keep your mouth closed. On May 5, 2017 11:29 AM, "…" <… > wrote: Im going to make something very clear to two whores conspiracy is against the law and when i sue i know your full names and place of work EVERYTHING is going in the suit. You don’t know me. Play with fire if you like. You don’t  know what consequences are yet but you will.

At this point I call the police. Because I was originally very civil with her and it’s my property is its damaging property. So she’s not being honest about the list and how it’s being used and disposed of so at that point I can safely assume she has malicious and or criminal intent. I call the police. Unfortunately that is also mucked up. Will post those emails. As well.

Cyber Crime

---- > May 8 to sylvan.altieri

So I talked to you a few days prior in regards to a cyber crime. Extortion and blackmail to be exact. You requested I give you her email address which is michellepgomez@gmail.com. Her name is Michelle Gomez I called you the next day following up as you instructed me to do. At that time you said she had not responded to your email did I have a phone number for her. I called the following day after instructing Michelle via email if she didn’t respond to your email I was going to pass along her work number which is 703-816-4000. I called the following day to follow up with you but you’re voice mail stated that you would be out the office until June 5th. I hate to jump to conclusions but this is what it looks like. You talked to Michelle and decided to not only side with a criminal but you lying and saying you’re out on sick leave not only embarrasses me. Puts words in my mouth fyi and tells Michelle a highly incorrect suit worthy story. But also I’m not a person that bullshits lolligags or procrastinates when it comes to business and things that belong to me. And I don’t do disrespect or criminals well. I do crazy when ive been crossed because i act in a civilized manner and expect the same in return. The fact that these people are not willing to act in a civilized way over MY property implies they have malicious and criminal intent. And sadly at one point I worked with these people. Dressed up business professional’s means zilch these days. You have no obligation to me but you are in uniform and you have began police work. I can’t allow you to put words in my mouth and I can’t allow Michelle to believe this squabble is anything more than you have keys to my house and you shouldn’t have had it in the first place. You are giving her the impression she can take this lightly. There are no consequences. That's incorrect. It looks like conspiracy from here. On your end and hers. See how this was supposed to be about her. I have to clarify that it’s two. I can’t make you do anything but I aint your dummy. A complaint will be sent today regarding this incident. A response is encouraged. But I won’t hold my breath. The fact I have to tell police officers this is start the world over. Should there have been something Michelle said that was valid or concerning hey Michelle said this. Valid point.

Re: Cyber Crime

….<…. > May 9 to Sylvan

Im going to give you the same the treatment I gave Michelle. I hope you feel better. But I really don’t believe your story. Unless you’re just a forgetful loose ends unprofessional cop. But again. Get well soon. On May 9, 2017 1:23 PM, "Altieri, Sylvan (MPD)" <sylvan.altieri@dc.gov> wrote: I'm sorry you feel that way. I am at home recovering from surgery. I have not spoken to her.

Take care

Sent from my iPhone

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Re: Cyber Crime

…..<…. > May 9 to sylvan.altieri, Michelle

So I did file a complaint with the police department and will be filing another because you felt confident enough to continue to lie and if for some reason the complaint or the people who received it tipped you off or helped you lie its conspiracy jail time and a suit. How did you become part of the case? How are you the case? None of these little girls are worth my cycle wipes. The fact that you are first implying a victim for lack of a better word is lesser than a criminal is throw you in a jail cell. The law is supposed to correct criminals to punish criminals you talking to them like they have options and choices. Criminals do tend to have intelligence logic and a plan that constitutes a plan and intelligence it causes damage or pain to someone else. Puts words in someone else’s mouth. Is a crime. They have a way of thinking and living that spits on the law and the rights of CIVILIZED people. Let’s make something clear it’s My property. The fact that Michelle is even throwing around harassment after she’s refusing to first admit she still has the document and sent it around and after she threatened me is she’s fit for a psych ward. Serial killer in the making. Its equal to chaining me to a wall then saying why are you still here? The fact that Michelle and her crew are fixated on me and something that belongs to me is one you’re owning I’m  a messy person...police email would get the special....you’re  jealous and you’re in the middle of the street begging for money while the light is green. Two you’re a criminal while working at a lawfirm placing doubt on everyone. Do not take my she took it line wrong. Michelle thinks she has power or that she holds power me sending you that email with the document was I put my hands in my purse pulled it out and quarters fell out. Michelle grabs the quarters and refuses to give them back. She’s poor desperate. I need to get on the bus exact change. Wants to embarrass me. Is a jealous person. I don’t give strangers blackmail. I act in an appropriate civilized respectful way. You’re jealous for a reason I give you that but you will be following the law on my watch one way or another.

Relief

State briefly and precisely what damages or other relief the plaintiff ask the court to order. DO not make legal arguments. Include any basis for claiming that the wrongs alleged are continuing at the present time. Include the amounts of any actual damages claimed for the acts alleged and the basis for the present time. Include any punitive or exemplary damages claimed, the amounts, and the reasons you claim you are entitled to actual or punitive money damages. For any request for the injunctive relief, explain why monetary damages at a later time would not adequately compensate you for the injuries you sustained, are sustaining, or will sustain as a result of the events described above, or why such compensation could not be measured.

Once it has been found out that the List still exist and or has been passed around. A list of names and ALL its recipients on Michelle’s end. A contract/promise stating the list has been deleted and all its remnants will be deleted and properly disposed of and that it will not be reproduced. Also the list shall not be mentioned and ANY and ALL THE people listed will not be contacted or be made aware of the list. The list never happened. You never received it. Know nothing of it. WHAT LIST. 2,000,000 in damages to be split among GUILTY parties. Meaning the guilty parties have to pay me. Jail time for extortion harassment fraud and conspiracy for people that have shown exemplary motivated and intentional malicious intent.

I will add 500,00 if my name any of my likeness GOES anywhere. And jail time.