#izuru kamura x reader

[k0kichiimagines]

Idk if you'll do this because its about suicide but can you do the kokichi, shuichi, Junko, and izuru reaction to the reader hanging them self:’)?

i do do sensitive topics so yes i will do! i did this quickly because i try to do topics like this faster then others, i hope youre doing okay nonnie <3

some of these endings are vague as to if you survive or not, because it is possible to survive a hanging, or survive but with permanent damage

- mod kokichi

kokichi, shuichi, junko & izuru x reader

-> hanging themselves

cws: suicide, hangings, depression, various trigger warnings apply to this!!

kokichi :

he didn't think you'd do it. was it his way of reassuring himself, or did he honestly believe it? he was never sure. but he told himself you wouldn't. he knew you struggled with your mental health, of course he did, but you still smiled at his jokes, you seemed happy at times, you wouldn't actually kill yourself, right?

and you'd been getting better! you'd suddenly wanted to do everything and see everything, you'd told him you loved him, that he was amazing, you giggled sweetly when he said the same.

it was almost like... it was like someone who suspected their death was soon. but you wouldn't kill yourself, so you didn't suspect it. right?

you'd just left, and he couldn't explain the sinking fear in his stomach. well he could, but you would never do that, so it was illogical. you'd been even sweeter because you were trying to get better. this wasnt a goodbye. you'd said good night, and see you later. you hadnt been bittersweet. you wouldn't lie to him like that.

your coat! you'd left your coat! he could use it as an excuse to check on you and calm his silly nerves. he ignored that it only proved how distracted you had been, he told himself you were sleeping when you didn't pick up the phone (it was late afterall).

he only suddenly started running when his messages were still not read because it was cold, and he wanted to heat up. his hands weren't shaking as he knocked on the door, his blood didn't run cold when you didn't reply, hid heart didn't hammer against his chest like crazy when he used the key you gave him to open the door.

the silence in the house wasn't terrifying. he wasn't scared. because he knew you wouldn't actually do it.

he was silent now. you would have thought he would scream or cry, but he didnt, because you definitely weren't dead. he struggled to get you down, your body was still warm, surely that meant you were still here? you weren't cooling quickly, your heart beat was just low, his voice didn't break when he called the ambulance.

this wasn't funny anymore. if you were pranking him then it wasn't funny. it didn't even work, because he'd worked out it was a prank. because you wouldn't do this. so why didnt you say so? you'd heard him call the ambulance, would you take it that far? hadn't you at least felt his shaking fingers tapping you, didn't you notice the damp tears on your cheeks, can't you hear his nervous muttering? how had you kept your eyes open this long?

your letter said you wanted him to be happy. he wasn't happy. he's not going to be happy. he's fucking furious. he's angry, he's so angry, and he snaps at everyone, but even miu and kaito don't do anything. kaito tried though, he tries a pep talk, tries to tell him you wouldn't have wanted him to become like this, but kokichi snaps at him to shut up the second your name falls from his mouth.

hes angry at you. hes angry you thought no one would miss you or care, he's angry you lied, he's angry you broke your promise of staying, he's angry you left, he's angry you didn't say anything.

hes angry at himself. hes so angry. hes trying to blame the world, hes trying to be angry at you.

but his anger is just guilt. hes angry at himself. he blames himself. he regrets ever letting you go home, he regrets not leaving sooner. and people come to see him, shuichi, kaede, even maki, they all come, they push him to leave, to see someone, they try stop him shut everyone out.

but for years he does nothing. he isn't aware of days or time really. if someone needs him he helps, he cares for dice. but hes silent, hes serious. he doesn't smile anymore. it took months for it to settle really, for him to fully cry and admit you're dead.

perhaps in five years or ten, he'll smile at your memory with an aching heart. perhaps he'll be able to laugh again, even if he missed you.

but not now. now he justs lies under his bed sheets and reads old messages with a blurred vision and shaking hands.

shuichi :

"hey."

"hm?"

"stay the night?"

you only shook your head in reply. "sorry i cant tonight, i need to do something at home."

"may i ask what?"

"something."

he sighed. "im not... i have a horrible feeling at what that something is. please, i dont want to leave you alone. can i come with you?"

"whatever you think, you're wrong. ill be fine, i just have something to clean, ive been meaning to and i really cant put it off much longer. i love you, goodnight." you kissed his cheek, and then his lips and waved him goodbye with a wide smile. he hesitated in his reply, looking nervous. " ill text you when i get home, okay? "

"alright. be safe."

"goodnight!"

"no." he grabbed your hands and stared into your eyes. "be safe. promise me you'll be safe."

you swallowed nervously, pausing for a moment before you forced a laugh. he didn't smile. "i promise. dont worry so much, darling."

"i love you. and i care about you, and im more then happy to spend every second with you and listen to all your issues. if there is anything going on, please tell me." your heart dropped, he looked so desperate for you to tell him the truth, and for a second you felt compelled to. for a moment you wanted to fall into arms and sob, you imagined everything feeling better like in books.

but you firmly smiled. "and same for you. now i have to go, or I'll miss the bus. i love you..!" he dropped your hands, and kissed you again. he turned to grab his coats and shoes, telling you he'd at least walk you to the station, and you nodded.

you walked hand in hand. a few people were about, so your goodbye and his goodnight was a quick peck only. and then you got on the bus. and stared at the other through the window. he looked so... desolate. he looked regretful. you waved cheerily.

he waited for the next bus. he'd wanted to run after the bus the second the doors closed, but he knew it would be no used, and may even pressure you into doing it sooner so he couldn't catch up to you. he was so sure of your plan, and it terrified him.

he rushed onto the next bus, he stood next to the doors and tumbled out the second they opened, he ran down the street with a racing heart. he didn't even bother knocking, he just opened your door hurriedly and ran in, looking through every room until he reached your room.

you were still awake. you were so close to fainting you didn't seem aware of him, perhaps you thought his rush to get you down was a dream, because you passed out in his stressed arms near seconds after. he rambled and almost yelled into the phone, he whispered at you and held you close to him. he sobbed as the ambulance rushed in (he'd left the door open in his own panic), but quickly handed you to them, and followed them into the ambulance.

it was terrifying. it was horrible. he didn't remember anything beyond sobbing into his hands while a nurse rubbed his back at one point. he didnt remember how he got into the hospital, or out of the waiting room into your room, but here he was. hand over yours, staring at your barely survived body. machines strapped to you, needles in your hands, sleeping and no one knew when or if you would wake again, or what the damage was.

junko:

he wished he never let you go home alone. he stays as long as they let him with you, he brings you flowers and notes (and he only sobs harder when he reads yours). everyday hes there.

if you ever wake, he'll have no words, he just hugs you and cries, and apologises and apologises.

but thats still an if.

izuru:

a/n - this isnt despair junko, its basically just her as a normal girl who was the shsl fashioninsta, because ultimate despair junko would be broken but just enjoy the despair from it all.

she'd clutched your hands with a bright smile, telling you that you could always speak to her about your issues. she was so bright, yet held a serious undertone to her words, and you could only look down at her red tipped hands, the gold bracelets around her wrists now against yours, cold. you shook your head and smiled, but thanked her for the offer.

her face dropped a bit, she looked confused, but said she wouldn't force the matter. she had assumed it was just a rough week for you, that you'd bounce right back to how you always were. but now she was suspicious.

she was so bright. you felt sure she'd move on after your death, you hoped she would, that she wouldn't lose her smile. you kissed her cheek, and told her you had to go now. and she hugged you tightly as usual, and kissed you about thirty times, before she let you go.

"see you later, honey!"

"goodbye, junko!" your felt yourself choke up slightly at that. but you ignored it and left anyway, unaware of the girl that followed you about ten minutes later.

she had the key, so she let herself in, quickly stepping over to your room. in her rush, she didn't remove her shoes, so you heard the clicking of heels and panicked, already standing on the chair. everything was ready before you left, but you'd wanted to see her one last time, you did instantly before you could back out.

"love?" she opened the door, her face dropping the second she saw you. there was silence, no rush since you were still standing. her hands were over her mouth, and she stepped towards you slowly, nervously, shakingly. "you're..? no way..."

you pulled yourself out, and got down quietly. she reached over and pulled you into her arms, and soon her tears fell, and you just clutched onto her. embarrassed. afraid. sobbing.

she ensured from then on you got help, and she checked on you often. it really shook her up.

he never remembered you. but his heart raced a little (usual), so he assumed you had been important. therefore he kept you around, he protected you while the world fell apart around you both.

did he love you? he wasn't sure. he knew that, even if he could guess you every word, even if you never suprised him, he didn't find you boring... most of the time. you were pleasant enough.

he was aware you were suicidal. of course he was. he informed you that he did not want you to kill yourself, to stay strong and keep going. but he knew you didn't listen. he was the ultimate therapist, and although he tried to push the idea, you stubbornly refused to open up much.

you got worse. he wondered if it was the environment, the dead bodies. so he tried to take you to a place he'd cleaned up a bit, but the unnerving silence bar the two of you dampened your mood anyway.

he suspected you would try. he was busy, and by the time he got back you were kicking down a chair, letting yourself hang. he grabbed you, lifting you up to allow you to breath. you only stared down at him.

he was crying. he never showed emotions. he didn't expect to cry. and yet, he was. it was a weird feeling, the only other time he recalled crying was at the death of chiaki. he never cried.

"dont."

now you were crying. sobbing as he freed you and held you. no need for any doctors, because he held that talent as well. he would care for you as best he could - minor breathing blockage shouldn't be too serious, but it can result in issues, so he'll keep an eye on you.

his emotions where limited, but he knew he wished to protect you and care for you. perhaps this was love, but only his way for experiencing and showing it.

he decided then and there, that he loved you.