#izaya giggle snorting. you agree

[shizuostrans]

Title: Summer PeterPan

Circle/author: heco./otoshibuta

Characters: Shizuo and Izaya

Pairings: Shizaya

Summary: Izaya brokers an experimental truce with Shizuo – he’ll leave Shizuo alone for their last cultural festival if Shizuo can spend one day in his company without flying off the handle.

(If I have the time) the next book I (tentatively) plan to work on is set post-Ketsu with Shizuo visiting Bunokura to finish off Izaya! Otherwise the next book will be released around Halloween that's centered around vampire Izaya and vampire hunter Shizuo from a certain anikuji. You know the one.

Higher quality download here.

[sachigram]

“With Teeth” Chapter 5

((click here to read on ao3!!))

Izaya is frowning down at his computer, his hands hovering above the keys of his keyboard, not moving. Next to him, Namie is typing away, a bemused little smirk on her face. She's enjoying this, clearly, and she's itching to say something biting.

“You're handling this better than I thought you would,” she says, her tone forcibly bored. Izaya blinks at her, lifting his hand to motion for her to continue. “Your little monster friend has a girlfriend now. He'll have less time for you, right? I assumed you'd be setting fires across the city by now.”

“You know what they say about assuming,” Izaya says breezily. “If anything, she's distracting him enough to leave me be.”

The chatroom is full of people chattering away about Shizuo and Vorona, who are spending a lot of time together, holding hands, exchanging glances, sharing beverages. It's sickening. Izaya feels vaguely nauseous just reading about it, but he thinks that's probably due to his insane schedule at the moment, and his lack of sleep. He keeps meaning to take a healing potion, but he forgets every time.

“Distracting. Right.” Namie types another response, fanning the flames of all the rumors circulating about Ikebukuro's hottest couple. Her smirk drops, and Izaya can't resist the temptation to dip into her mind, just a little, to see why she isn't enjoying this as much as she thought she would.

She's thinking of Seiji, of course, but also of Mika, and of Celty's head, and all the times she's been overlooked in favor of someone else. She thinks Shizuo dating Vorona is distasteful, because she's set on the idea that Shizuo must be fucking Izaya, and that's why he comes by so often. Izaya withholds a snort at that, and he graciously doesn't comment on the fact that Namie could probably have anyone she wanted, if she wasn't so obsessed with her own brother.

“Who cares, anyway?” Namie asks, closing her laptop. “The two of them together probably have conversations as interesting as watching paint dry. It's not worth even talking about anymore.”

“I couldn't agree more,” Izaya says, pushing away from his desk. He tilts his head at her. “Let's order out for dinner. My treat.”

“In that case, I'm craving something expensive.”

“Of course you are.”

***

Izaya is watching the sunset from a small window when he realizes he must have fallen asleep. He isn't at home anymore, and this is beginning to feel like the kind of dream he's been dreading to have lately, one where he knows Shizuo will show up at some point.

“Who are you?” A child's voice asks from behind him. Izaya turns, looking down at Shizuo, who is in a hospital bed, his arms wrapped, a brace around his neck. He's frowning up at Izaya, who sighs loudly before plopping into the vacant chair next to the bed.

“Oh, why does it even matter? You won't call me by my name anyway.” Izaya pulls his knees up to his chest and studies Shizuo closely. “You're here alone?”

“My family just left.” Shizuo looks up at the ceiling, seeming to decide that Izaya isn't a threat to him. “They used to stay with me a lot, but this happens all the time now, so they can't stick around as much.”

“I see.”

“I'll only be here one night anyway.”

“So who was it this time? Was it another fight?” Izaya asks.

“It's not like I wanted to fight.” Shizuo's eyebrow twitches. “I threw a swingset.”

“A swingset?”

“Yeah, but apparently it was bolted into the ground or something. Really fucked me up.”

Izaya can't help it. He laughs hard, curling into himself as he does so.

“Hey, fuck you, it isn't funny!” Shizuo snaps, but he seems to be trying not to laugh himself. “Well, maybe it was a little. The look on their faces was pretty funny.”

“Did you at least manage to hit them?” Izaya asks, still giggling at the mental image.

“No. Turns out all the time I spent lifting it gave them some time to escape.”

Izaya laughs harder. When was the last time he found something this genuinely funny? Lately all he does is work until he passes out, and he deserves it, he knows. Still, as he feels tears stinging the corner of his eyes, he thinks he feels good now, here with this kid version of Ikebukuro's monster. There doesn't seem to be anything else to do but talk to him, and their dreams keep connecting them no matter what Izaya does. He's tired of fighting it.

Shizuo is gazing at him with poorly concealed awe and wonder.

Pretty.

Izaya snorts at Shizuo's thought. What's so pretty about this scene right now? The sunset outside? The various machines hooked to Shizuo, beeping idly in the background? Shizuo keeps looking at him, and Izaya realizes, feels his face grow hot.

“Who are you?” Shizuo asks again.

“Your worst enemy.”

“Really? You don't seem all that bad.” Shizuo shifts a bit, winces. “You're not scared of me, are you?”

“Not now, not ever.”

Shizuo nods, and his lip wobbles. “People tell me all the time they aren't scared of me, but I know they are, deep down. How could they not be? They'd have to be crazy. But...” Shizuo chokes up, laughs a little. “I can tell you mean it. And if that makes you crazy, I think that's okay, because it feels good to not be feared, for once.”

Izaya lowers his legs, leaning closer to the bed. He idly touches the flimsy fabric of the blanket draped over Shizuo, who is watching him curiously. Izaya looks away.

“Sometimes you're so pathetically simple it makes me want to vomit. Sometimes it feels like a chore, hating you. Did you know that?” Izaya asks softly, and there's a long pause after his words, no sounds aside from their breathing. Even the machines have somehow gone quiet.

“So then why do you?” Shizuo asks at last.

“Isn't it funny that it's been so long of us hating each other that I forgot what caused it in the first place? I think you did, too.” Izaya crosses his arms over the bed, puts his head down. “People like us will always be at each other's throats. It's just the way it is.”

“You sound like a grownup,” Shizuo says, glaring now. “They always say that, when they don't know the answer to something. 'It's just the way it is.' If you don't know, then why does it matter in the first place?”

“Believe it or not, I am a grownup. I'm only a kid right now because you're one, too. We're always the same age in these dreams, even if only one of us remembers the future at a time.” Izaya lifts his head enough to grin at Shizuo, who blushes and immediately turns away. He seems to be trying to gather the courage to say something, but there's suddenly a knock at the door, and Izaya turns towards it. “Expecting someone else?”

“Huh?”

“There's knocking.”

“I don't hear anything.”

Izaya stands. “Oh. This may be in real life. I think I'm waking up.”

“Waking up? Does that mean leaving?” Shizuo's eyes look panicked. “When will you be back?”

“I never know. Why do you keep wanting to see me so badly? You're the one pulling me back here, you have to be.” The room starts to grow fuzzy as the dreamscape begins to fall apart around them.

“You're not scared of me. You laughed at me instead of running— Fuck!” Shizuo seems to be trying to get up to grab Izaya, but he can't with his arms bandaged. “Tell me your name so I can find you again!”

“You'll just call me a flea anyway, won't you? So it doesn't matter.”

***

Izaya opens his eyes to discover he passed out at his desk at some point. He sits up and frowns at the container of pasta next to him. He remembers ordering dinner for himself and Namie, and then...

“Ugh. Of course she just left,” Izaya mutters to himself. Namie is an opportunist if nothing else. She isn't the type to stick around and see what happens next, unlike Izaya. Another knock sounds at the door. “Who is it?” Izaya calls, feeling sluggish. He checks his phone to find he's been asleep for about two hours.

“Me!” Shinra's voice replies, muffled from the door. “Let me in, would you? I've been knocking forever!”

Grumbling, Izaya makes his way across the room, opening it for Shinra, who waltzes inside like he owns the place.

“Hi! I'm working late tonight, and I didn't have time to eat dinner before I left, so I figured while I was in Shinjuku I could come see what you had—“ Shinra stops talking and tilts his head to the side, observing Izaya. “You look awful. What have you been up to?”

“Also working,” Izaya says. He reaches up to wipe crusted drool from the corner of his mouth. “So you came to raid my fridge?”

“Ah, yes!” Shinra turns and continues his march to the kitchen. “I just got done with an emergency call, and next I'll be going to visit another patient. I didn't want fast food, so here I am! Did Yagiri-san make anything?”

“Should be leftovers somewhere around here.” Izaya looks back at his own pasta, feels his stomach rumble. He can't remember the last time he really ate or slept fully.

“Why don't we eat something together?” Shinra asks. “You look ready to fall over.”

Izaya ends up tossing the pasta. It was congealed together, and not very good in the first place. Namie picked the place to order from, but he'll definitely complain enough about it later to where they don't order from there again. Shinra actually goes through the trouble of throwing together some fried rice, because Izaya doesn't have the ingredients for much else. He'll have to send Namie for groceries.

“So what are you working on so religiously, anyway?” Shinra asks as they sit down. “I haven't seen you this absorbed in work for a while.”

“It's not just one assignment, but multiple. All of them are due around the same time.” Izaya eats a bite of rice and shrugs. “It's just poor timing.”

“More than that though, right? I heard Shiki-san was pissed at you for multiple reasons. Sounds like he's keeping you overloaded on purpose.” Shinra smirks at him. “You can never leave well-enough alone, Izaya-kun.”

“'Well-enough',” Izaya scoffs. “If he had his way, I'd be locked in a cage, of use only to him and his little cronies.”

“That's what you signed up for. You'll get yourself killed if you keep meddling. I mean, come on, Akane-chan? What did you think would happen by sending her off on her own like that?”

“Who says I was behind any of that? Akane-chan has a smartphone. Kids like her are always going to be involved in things, because they want better than they're given.”

“I don't believe you, and I know Shiki-san doesn't, either. It's clear he's punishing you, but...” Shinra leans closer, lowers his voice like he thinks Shiki is in the next room. “To be honest, I thought you'd have it way worse than this. You ordered Shizuo-kun's attack too, didn't you? I thought Shiki-san would hang you upside-down.”

“Again, Shinra, you're reaching way too far. I never said I was responsible for Shizu-chan either.”

Shinra pouts, and then sits back in his chair, shoveling down more rice. “Fine. Don't tell me. Just take better care of yourself, at any rate. It's not like you can't cure the effects of fatigue with your power. You're choosing to suffer, right? But then again, you've always been like that.”

“Don't you have another appointment soon?” Izaya asks, annoyed by Shinra and his big mouth. He's often wondered if friendship is supposed to be this exhausting, but it isn't like he has anything else to compare it to. Shinra was always the only one crazy enough to stick around.

“I'm only saying. You should accept your punishments and actually learn something from them every now and then. It seems like you just bounce back, more determined to make a nuisance of yourself than before.”

“If I don't make a nuisance of myself, I'll die from boredom,” Izaya lilts. “It's really that simple.”

“More like you're worried about being forgotten.”

Izaya resists the urge to throw something at Shinra, who is wearing a strange expression, something akin to actual concern.

“You've improved on your acting ability,” Izaya says, pushing away from the table. “Don't act friendly towards me now. It doesn't suit you.”

“I am your friend,” Shinra insists. “I'm the only one you've got, so maybe you should listen to me once in a while.”

“It always goes back to Celty anyway. What, are you worried I'm going to use her for something too dangerous?”

“Celty agrees with me that it's unusual for you to allow Shizuo-kun to be in your space as you have. Are you actually feeling guilty?”

“Are you?” Izaya stands and grabs a bottle of red wine from his counter before he pads over to his desk. “I don't have the time for this, Shinra. See yourself out when you're ready to go.”

Shinra sighs loudly, finishes his dinner, and picks up his briefcase. He walks towards the door.

“Take care of yourself, Izaya-kun. If you even know how to.”

Izaya uses his magic to slam the door shut behind Shinra, and then he drinks until he passes out.

***

He wakes hours later, in bed somehow.

Groaning, he sits up, trying to remember the night before. His mouth feels like cotton, and his head feels like it's trying to split itself open. He thinks he may throw up at some point in the very near future.

“Feeling better?” Tsukumoya asks from beside him. The shades are drawn closed, and the room is still dark despite the sun being out. Izaya glares at the vampire in his space.

“Why are you here?” he croaks.

“You don't remember? You invited me. We fucked.” Tsukumoya has his laptop, and is typing ridiculously fast even as he speaks. “It was quite the evening.”

“I'm serious. You just keep popping up. It's annoying.”

“Mm. I had a feeling you were being your usual destructive self. There's water for you on your nightstand.”

Izaya reaches next to him, grabs the glass before chugging it. His stomach immediately churns dangerously in protest.

“Why not take a healing potion? I know you have plenty of them,” Tsukumoya says, still not looking at him.

“Don't need it.”

“Right, you don't. The great Orihara Izaya doesn't need anything or anyone, how could I forget?” Tsukumoya finally glances over at him. “You might need to reconsider. Tonight's the night of the full moon. You'll need to be alert when your puppy visits.”

“Fuck, is it? I forgot all about it.” Izaya groans and flops back into the bed, rolling away from the annoying vampire in his space. “You weren't supposed to come until tomorrow.”

“Stop complaining so much. Do you need more water?”

Grumbling, Izaya tries to piece together the night before. He drank too much, he remembers that. Shinra was being annoying. He definitely fell asleep at his desk, meaning Tsukumoya carried him to bed.

“We didn't really fuck, did we?” Izaya asks.

“No. Did you want to?” Tsukumoya's voice is annoyingly smug. “I wouldn't be opposed.”

Izaya snorts and closes his eyes, wills the room to stop spinning. “Don't flatter yourself. You're not my type.”

“I'm not? Here I thought you had a thing for monsters.”

Izaya considers throwing Tsukumoya across the room, but that would be rising to the stupid teasing, and it would require more effort than he currently wants to exert. He stays where he is, listening to the sound of Tsukumoya's fingers on the keys.

“You're being especially pitiful lately, Izaya,” Tsukumoya says after a while. “So you've lost control of your little game, so what? Maybe you should think of what to do next instead of working to the point of exhaustion. You know I hate it when you're predictable.”

“Why does it matter what I do? I'm trapped.”

Tsukumoya sighs. “Yes, you are. And what are you going to do about it?”

“Right now, I'm going to be miserably hungover. Next, who knows? It'll surprise us both.”

“If only I found you sooner.” Tsukumoya goes back to typing. “The things you could've done. Humans are always finding ways to control what they don't understand or fear. But now, you can only help yourself. If you believe you're going to be trapped forever, they've already won.”

“I know that.” Izaya thinks of the work assignments that aren't ever going to stop, and he thinks of Akane, of Shizuo. He knows he went too far, but he has to go even further still.

Tsukumoya seems like he wants to say more, but he pauses, and the typing stops once more.

“You really might want to take that potion now,” he says. “One of your executives is on his way here.”

***

Izaya does not take the potion, and when he answers his door, it's with a slightly green complexion. Akabayashi takes one look at him, and promptly bursts into laughter.

“Oh, wow. And I thought I drank too much. You look awful, brat.” Akabayashi invites himself inside, stepping around Izaya. “I'm doing a wellness check on behalf of the boss. You understand, right?”

“Seems like I have more people in my life than I thought,” Izaya says, closing the door before moving to his couch. “This is my third wellness check.”

“Hard to believe a roach like you has friends, but then again, this city has an infestation. You missed a deadline today.”

“I got a little carried away last night. I've been in bed all day.”

“But you answered the door fully dressed, like you've been up and about,” Akabayashi presses.

“I sensed you coming,” Izaya lies.

Akabayashi hums in thought, and he grins menacingly. “Ya know, I ran into Heiwajima the other day at Sunshine. He seemed really interested in who bit him and why.”

“You should tell him,” Izaya says. “If anything, it would get him off my back for a while.”

“Oh, don't act innocent. We all know who made the phone call that started everything.”

“Clearly what I want doesn't matter. You've made that abundantly clear.”

Akabayashi walks closer to the couch, and he leans closer to Izaya. “Watch yourself, kid. Just because you haven't been caught in the act yet doesn't mean we don't know you're guilty. That magic of yours will only get you so far with us.”

“If your power spans so far, you shouldn't be worried about what I did or didn't do. If you really knew I was guilty, you'd have killed me by now,” Izaya says.

“Assuming monsters like you actually have enough humanity left to die.”

“Why don't we both find out?”

They glare at each other, and Izaya can sense from Akabayashi that the executive would like nothing more than to tear him limb from limb, but he won't. It would be against Shiki's wishes, and as much as Akabayashi hates it, he has to follow orders, or he'll be next on the chopping block. He takes another step towards the couch, but before he can do or say anything, the door slams open with such force that it bangs against the wall and cracks it.

“Hello, Shizu-chan,” Izaya calls without breaking eye-contact with Akabayashi. “Entertain yourself for a moment, will you?”

“What the fuck is this?” Shizuo asks. He growls when he notices Akabayashi. “Oi! I still have questions for you, asshole!”

“I'm sure you do,” Akabayashi says, standing up straight again. He grins at Shizuo. “I can't answer 'em for you, though. Sorry about that.”

“I could always beat it out of you,” Shizuo says, cracking his knuckles. “I'm even stronger than I used to be, since you bastards made me into a monster.”

“You wouldn't get far. I'd relax, if I were you.” Akabayashi turns back to Izaya. “Get to work, brat. Shiki's only so forgiving.” With that, he turns on his heel, and goes towards the door. Shizuo makes to stop him, but Izaya lifts his hand and summons Shizuo backwards, towards the couch.

“What the fuck!” Shizuo shouts, fighting it. “Let me go!”

“Don't make me exert myself, Shizu-chan. I'm having a rough day,” Izaya says. Shizuo turns and glowers at him, but his features soften.

“What's wrong with you? Are you sick?”

“Yes.” The door opens and closes, and Izaya knows he's alone with Shizuo once more. “You didn't knock this time.”

“Didn't think I needed to. It's not like you weren't expecting me.” Shizuo leans down, scrutinizes Izaya. “You're hungover.”

“Don't read my mind,” Izaya huffs, curling into himself.

“I didn't. You reek of alcohol.”

Grumbling, Izaya summons a blanket and throws it over himself. He doesn't know if he prefers Tsukumoya's company to Shizuo's, but at the moment, he thinks he'd rather deal with the vampire. At least for a little bit.

What a messy flea. Shizuo thinks, and then he walks away from the couch. There's the sound of him sifting through the fridge, but there isn't anything for him to find. Namie had the day off, and Shinra cooked what little was available the night before.

“You might have to order out,” Izaya calls. “You have a couple of hours before sunset.”

Shizuo growls loudly, thinks something about Izaya being useless, and then pulls out his phone. Izaya stays where he is and doesn't move, enjoys the silence for a few moments before it's ultimately shattered by Shizuo, who is suddenly sitting on the couch near Izaya, but still far enough to where they're both comfortable.

“I ordered pizza,” Shizuo says, and he leans back against the couch cushions. “You should foot the bill.”

“If you wanted me to pay, you could've ordered something better,” Izaya replies.

“Nah, everywhere else would've taken too long. Pizza is fast and easy.”

Izaya watches sleepily as Shizuo picks up the remote and turns the TV on, flipping through a few channels before settling on a soap opera. It should feel weird, sitting here with Shizuo, watching a woman sob because she caught her husband having an affair, but it really doesn't feel weird at all. Maybe Izaya is too tired to feel one way or another about it, or maybe their strange mental link has done the majority of the work in making them civil towards one another. Either way, Izaya feels comfortable enough to let his guard down a little, and it's an instant relief, like setting down something immensely heavy.

“So, I don't get it. Why are you just sitting here feeling like shit when you can heal yourself easily enough?” Shizuo is still looking at the screen, but he's back to poking around in Izaya's head, whether he knows he's doing it or not.

“Shut up, Shizu-chan,” Izaya says without any real bite.

“Oh. You just want to feel bad. Seems like a stupid thing for someone who's supposed to be some kind of genius, but whatever.”

The woman on screen is confronting her husband's mistress, and it winds up in a fist fight on a balcony. Izaya snorts when the mistress is pushed off to her death. How predictable. Shizuo is scowling at the TV, but he's thinking about his shared dreams with Izaya, and also about some images he's been seeing through Izaya's side of the link. He's also thinking about Shinra, who apparently ran into Shizuo last night after his last appointment. Shinra seemed worried about Izaya.

He's a good actor. Izaya sends. He always has been.

I don't think he was acting. You look worse than you normally do.

I'm hungover, as you so aptly put it. You being in my head isn't helping me feel better.

“I'm not doing it on purpose!” Shizuo snaps, and the sudden loudness has Izaya flinching. “I don't get why it's happening either, okay? I'm only just now starting to believe it's not actually you doing it.”

Because you've seemed like such a mess ever since it started. Shizuo thinks, and Izaya grinds his teeth in frustration.

“I'm not a mess.”

“What did that guy want?” Shizuo asks, changing the subject abruptly.

“Akabayashi-san stops by from time to time to threaten me. It's a pastime for him.” Izaya is starting to feel nauseous again, so he closes his eyes and wills it to go away.

“Don't you work for him, though?”

“I don't work for anybody. I'm a freelance informant for hire, and I give the organization he's part of information when they pay me for it, same as anyone else.”

Shizuo frowns, thinks something biting about Izaya working for the Yakuza. “He seemed like he wanted to hurt you.”

“Oh, he does. They all do,” Izaya says. “They'd kill me if they could.”

Shizuo doesn't like that he has something in common with the Yakuza. He grimaces before he says, “So what? You're just too strong to die or some shit?”

“No,” Izaya replies. “I'm just too important for them do dispose of. I'm part of the reason they're as powerful as they are, and they know it, even if they hate it, even if they hate me. I'm the strongest tool in their arsenal. Killing me would be crippling themselves.”

Silence follows Izaya's words. Shizuo's mind is a whirlwind now, thinking so many things at once, all laced with rage. He doesn't like anything about what Izaya said, the way it was said so flippantly, the way Izaya doesn't seem to mind. Shizuo doesn't like that Izaya thinks of himself as a tool, as something other than human, even if it might be true. Shizuo doesn't want to think of himself as other than human, either.

Shizuo doesn't seem to do well with the truth.

“That isn't true,” Shizuo growls, no doubt in response to Izaya's thoughts. “You're a person. I'm a person. We're other things too, but whatever we are, we're human first. You said so yourself, right? You can die, you can be killed. You're human enough to die.”

“I'm telling you this once, and once only, beast,” Izaya murmurs, opening his eyes to glare at the TV as he speaks. “It would be the exact same as breaking a screwdriver, or losing your favorite toy. If I died, that would be it. They would just replace me. They want to, and they would if they could, but I'm one of the last of my kind, and I'm definitely the most powerful one left. I don't care about it, because I've always known I was only useful for what I knew and what I could do. If you're going to be hated, you damn well better be useful. That's the way it is.”

“Fuck that!” Shizuo yells, and he stands, his hands clenched into fists. “What the hell are you talking about? You think it's okay to sit here and feel sorry for yourself, like you didn't have a hand in being the hated little rat you are? You think it's just because of your magic? You're the one deciding to do the shitty things you do. People hate you. If they knew you were a witch, whatever, maybe some of them would hate you more, but it's only because they hate you already. Get the fuck over yourself.”

Izaya laughs, delighted at the outburst. Doing so hurts his head, and his vision swims. This is pitiful, isn't it? Feeling useless, being forced to lie back and swallow vomit just so no one else can ask anything more of him. If he's a tool, he's a damaged one, and every time he's human, he dulls himself a little more. If this is a game to be played, and his opponents have the winning hand, Izaya will make sure none of them win. He'll destroy himself if he has to. He'll destroy everything.

“Trust me, Shizu-chan,” he croaks, “I know they would've hated me either way. The difference between us is you're searching so hard for a place to belong, and I've accepted long ago that it doesn't exist. Now would you kindly shut the fuck up? My head hurts.”

Shizuo is seething, his breaths labored as he works to calm himself down. He wants to lift Izaya up and shake him until his head pops off. Then Shizuo wants to tear apart everything in the apartment, maybe go punch Akabayashi for good measure. He hates that he sees the reasoning in Izaya's words. He hates himself, and he hates Izaya more than anything else.

“Get out of my head,” Shizuo grits out.

“I'm trying,” Izaya says, and he leaves it at that.

They lapse back into silence, and when Shizuo flops back onto the couch, his brow is furrowed, his jaw set. It's clear he isn't going to let this go, but he at least doesn't want to be in a terrible mood before his transformation. The bloodlust is worse when he's angry. He has to keep reminding himself that Izaya is a liar, first and foremost. Izaya uses words to protect himself, and Shizuo doesn't have to, and won't, ever do the same.

“Well, isn't this cozy?” Tsukumoya's voice asks as he walks down the stairs. He's wearing a hood, covering himself from the weakening rays of sun that still shine through the windows.

“I thought you left,” Izaya calls as Shizuo whirls to growl at the vampire.

“I was going to, but I figured I'd stick around to make sure you didn't die,” Tsukumoya says. He smirks at the scene of Shizuo and Izaya sitting together almost peacefully, watching trash TV in silence. “I wondered how your nights with the puppy went. I suppose I can see for myself now.”

“Why the fuck are you here?!” Shizuo barks, and then he whirls to face Izaya. “Does he always just pop up like this?”

“Not always,” Izaya says. “He stayed the night.”

“What?”

“Relax, Heiwajima-san. Rest assured, I didn't touch him.” Tsukumoya flounces past the couch while Shizuo's face turns a variety of fun colors. “At least, not much.”

Shizuo stands from the couch, and Izaya sighs loudly.

“Don't you have anything better to do?” he asks Tsukumoya, who is still looking at Shizuo appraisingly.

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. I trust you won't drink yourself stupid a second night in a row?” Tsukumoya says, looking at Izaya.

“I don't have the luxury tonight,” Izaya answers.

“Right, you're puppy-sitting.”

“Do you mean me, you fucking—“ Shizuo starts, and he barrels towards Tsukumoya, who easily side-steps him.

“Make sure you eat something at some point,” Tsukumoya calls to Izaya. “That pizza will help you feel better.”

“I don't want it,” Izaya grumbles, covering his head with the blanket. He hates both of the people in his space right now, and he just wants to sleep.

You must be making a conscious effort to not heal yourself if you're still this sick over a hangover. Tsukumoya's voice sounds in Izaya's head. Is this really helping anything?

Yes. Izaya can't escape either of them, can he? They're both annoyingly perceptive and persistent. He can feel fondness radiating from Tsukumoya, but it's quickly being overshadowed by the amount of fury pouring from Shizuo, who is clearly listening to their mental conversation.

“Your pizza is here,” Tsukumoya says, and the knock comes a moment later. “Make sure he eats something, please,” he says to Shizuo, and then he vanishes before anything else can be said.

***

Shizuo scarfs down the entire pizza at breakneck speed, once or twice trying to get Izaya to accept a slice before giving up. He doesn't care if Izaya eats or not, and he doesn't care if Izaya feels sick or not. Shizuo's mood increases as he eats, and by the time he's finished, he's as mellow as he ever is while sharing a space with his mortal enemy.

Izaya, for his part, is starting to feel a little better. His stomach rumbles a bit at the scent of the pizza, but his appetite wanes at the grotesquely barbaric way Shizuo eats. It seems worse than usual, more...animalistic.

In fact...something seems off about Shizuo, even for a full moon. Maybe something happened earlier, or maybe Shizuo just went too long without eating until now, but Izaya can sense the bloodlust permeating from Shizuo like a miasma.

“Shizu-chan,” Izaya says, slowly sitting up to level his gaze at his unwanted guest. “Have you taken your potion?”

“Huh? Of course I have,” Shizuo replies. His hair is glowing from the fading rays of the sun as it descends behind the tall buildings outside.

“Have you taken it exactly as you should, the way I instructed?” Izaya asks through clenched teeth, already knowing the answer.

“Well— I drank it all a couple of days ago. I spent all day with Vorona, and I didn't want—“ Shizuo pauses at the look on Izaya's face. “What? What did I do wrong? You said to take it all before the full moon, and I did!”

“I told you to drink it every day, bit by bit, and to finish it before the full moon. The exact way you've done every month until now, because you're so pathetic in the presence of that woman that you can't follow basic fucking instructions!” Izaya snaps, and Shizuo's eyes widen.

He looks scared. Shizuo thinks, and then a beat later, Oh fuck. He's scared of me.

“Izaya, I—“ Shizuo begins, and then his hands grip his knees as his body begins to shake. The sun's rays fade at last, bathing them in twilight. “I feel...wrong.”

Izaya stands from the couch, the room spinning as he does. He's not at his full power. Even if he weren't hungover, he hasn't been eating or sleeping the way he should, buried in work as he is, and reluctant to care for himself as ever. He starts towards the stairs, in search of the healing potion he should have taken earlier, but he knows it's already far too late, as Shizuo's body is already beginning to crack and twist, and his mind is already gone, replaced by that of a true monster.

“Shizu-chan, you're such a fucking idiot,” Izaya hisses, and his sentence is barely finished before Shizuo is lunging at him, aiming for his throat.

[happyandticklish]

You’re Late

Notes: Just a little something I wrote in celebration of Shizuo’s birthday. Happy birthday to my sweet, angry, blond!

Summary: Shizuo gets held up at work and Izaya shows him what happens to people who are late. 

“You’re energetic today,” Shizuo grunted as Izaya jumped on him the second he walked through the door. He shifted on his feet, struggling to hold the sudden new weight clinging to him. 

Izaya declined to answer, choosing instead to press needy kisses along the line of his neck, the tufts of his raven hair brushing against Shizuo’s chin. Izaya tended to take what he wanted when he wanted it, leading to Shizuo being bombarded constantly at work or with friends and taken aside to some hidden place where they could be alone. Sometimes it irritated Shizuo, especially if it was at work, but secretly he enjoyed how it let him see through the other man’s exterior to the caring person underneath. Izaya didn’t love a lot of people, but for the few people he did he was adamant in expressing it.

“You’re late,” Izaya mumbled into his neck, the vibrations causing Shizuo to tense. “We were supposed to meet for dinner an hour ago.”

“I got held up with work.” He led them both over to the bedroom, not even bothering to kick the door closed behind them. He arranged them so that Izaya was cradled underneath him, but Izaya seemed to be in a more proactive mood that day and quickly flipped their positions.

“I had to eat dinner alone,” Izaya replied snippily. “I don’t even like fish, you know. The meal was supposed to be made for you.”

“I—” Shizuo stared, preparing a list of excuses, but Izaya was hearing none of it. 

“I’ve already decided on your punishment, in fact,” Izaya interrupted. “To make sure you won’t do it again.”

“Oh?” Shizuo arched an eyebrow. “And what would that—”

He broke off his sentence as Izaya’s hands slipped under his shirt suddenly, nails scraping softly against the skin. Shizuo stiffened, but before he could say anything Izaya had leaned down and was now trailing a line of distractingly ticklish kisses along his neck and collarbone.

“I-Izaya!” he protested, squirming underneath him. “H-Hold on a sehecond!”

“Absolutely not,” Izaya snapped, but there was devious affection underlaying his words. “You made me wait and eat disgusting fish and now you must face the consequences of your actions.”

“Y-Yohou dihihidn’t hahave t-to eheheat the fihihish!” Shizuo pointed out, giggling as Izaya’s nails traced the outline of his ribs. He scrunched up his neck as a kiss was administered to the sensitive spot behind his ear. “Nohohoho!”

“I wasn’t going to waste good food, Shi-zu-chan,” Izaya replied, enunciating each syllable to his name with annoying preciseness. “I made it after all.”

“B-Buhuhut—” Shizuo broke into cackles as Izaya blew a sudden raspberry into the side of his neck, one hand coming up instinctively to push him off before falling back on the bed again. “T-Thihihis ihihisn’t fahahair!”

Izaya leaned back suddenly to give him an impish smile before skittering nails all over his stomach. Shizuo jumped, letting out a sudden bark of laughter. “It is perfectly fair—you need to learn that a promise is a promise and I will not tolerate you breaking them.”

“Ihihit wahahays juhuhust dihihihiner!” Shizuo snorted, clenching the bedsheets tightly as his body was racked with intense, ticklish sensations. “I-Ihihit dohohoesn’t mahahahatter!”

In response to the comment, Izaya pressed yet another raspberry, this time onto his stomach. Shizuo howled, tangling his fingers in Izaya’s hair as he fought to resist it.

“O-Ohohokay, ohohokay, ihihit dohohoes mahahahttter!” Shizuo agreed after another minute of this treatment, his body trembling as residual laughs fell from his lips. Izaya finally backed off at the words, unable to hold back a triumphant smile.

“And you promise never to do it again?”

“I… I can’t promise that… you know that…”

“Is that so?” Izaya drummed his fingers ruminatively against his sides and Shizuo squeaked, hands coming down to stop him. 

“Okay, okay, I promise!”

“Good,” Izaya said, but didn’t pull his hands away. “I’m glad you see it my way.”

“Good,” Shizuo panted, pushing his hair back out of his eyes where it had fallen in the struggle. “Does that mean you’re… does that mean you’re done?”

“What?” Izaya chuckled, shaking his head sympathetically at the other. “Of course not. I have to make sure you really learn your lesson.”

“What—” Shizuo started, but he was soon thrown into helpless, raucous laughter all over again, writhing once more as Izaya’s fingers quickly undid him.

“Besides,” Izaya commented innocently, tracing feather-light touches over his neck that had Shizuo squealing. “I don’t see you stopping me.”

Shizuo couldn’t find it in himself to deny the statement, and the evening slowly devolved into light touches and desperate pleas.

Shizuo decided that he should skip out on dinner more often.

[orihara-infobroker]

Seclusion Day Four

"What are you wearing?" Izaya giggled at the sight of Shiki in a dress shirt and pyjama bottoms. 

"Work-at-home casual," Shiki replied as he stepped into the office. "Did you finish setting up the software?" 

"Yeah but I still think you need to upgrade."

"We'll see how it goes," Shiki replied with a shrug as he shooed Izaya out of his desk chair. Izaya hovered behind him as he settled into his seat. "Izaya."

"Yes, Haruya?"

"Find something else to do."

"But you might need tech support."

"Then I'll call you."

Izaya pouted but reluctantly left Shiki's office, snatching a random book off his bookshelf on the way out.

It took a bit of patience, mostly waiting for Aozaki to finally figure out how to turn his audio on. As soon as he did, Akabayashi was making fun of him, of course, and it was no different than every other meeting. As Izaya predicted, the call quality was shit. The only one who seemed to have no problems was Kazamoto. Mikiya complained about it every time someone cut out. Shiki passed along Izaya's recommendations. He actually seemed to consider it. 

Mikiya and Aozaki were wearing dress shirts like Shiki but Akabayashi hadn't even bothered and was instead sporting a brightly coloured Hawaiian shirt. Kazamoto refused to turn his video on, inserting a picture of a gecko sipping a margarita instead. 

The Awakusu businesses were fairly diverse so they weren't worried about losing money in the long run but some of their businesses couldn't operate. 

"I would recommend having Aozaki round up some of his men and put them on charity work," Shiki suggested. "There are many people who are unable to leave their homes because they are at high risk. Have them do grocery runs for those people."

"That's a good idea." Aozaki agreed. "It'll keep them from getting bored and doing something stupid like going to the bar." Aozaki's thugs weren't the most socially-minded guys. 

"Since the galleries are closed for the foreseeable future, I'd also suggest taking this opportunity to improve our online presence. We can potentially continue to make sales by featuring the art online." 

Anything that implied profit made Mikiya smile and he nodded agreement. "Wouldn't that still require staff to ship the packages?" 

"Just a single worker would be enough. Meets the social distancing requirement."

"Ah, that's good. Kazamoto has the real estate well in hand which just leaves the soaplands. I was thinking about house visits-" 

"No." All four executives immediately disagreed with Mikiya's suggestion. 

"Audio and video services." Akabayashi immediately followed up. "Let the girls work from home. They can do live streams or phone sex."

"We don't have the infrastructure for that…" Mikiya disagreed. 

"My informant is currently unemployed. I can put him to work on that problem."

"In the meantime," Akabayashi continued. "We need to make sure the girls are still getting paid."

"But they aren't working." Mikiya pointed out with a frown.

"And if they're afraid that they won't get paid, they will be more likely to try to work without our oversight." Kazamoto pointed out practically, backing Akabayashi's stance. "Better to continue to pay them until they can go back to work than to lose potential money and employees."

Mikiya did not look pleased but was also unable to provide a reasonable counter. "Fine," Akabayashi smirked at Mikiya's reluctant agreement. "Can you get your pet informant to upgrade this computer shit for us too while he's at it?" 

Shiki nodded. "I'll let him know."

With their work divided, they ended the call and Shiki made his way out to the living room where Izaya was lounging. He looked up from the book expectantly. 

"Well?" 

"I have work for you," Shiki replied with a slight smile. 

Izaya sat up. "Do I get to re-equip the Awakusu with actually relevant technology?" 

"Yes. I've promoted you to tech support."

Izaya looked pleased then suspicious. "What do you mean by tech support?" 

"Aside from helping the executives upgrade their computers, you're also going to help Akabayashi figure out how to let our girls do their work from a distance.”

Izaya grew thoughtful. “That’s a complicated problem. I assume you mean phone sex and videos?”

“Yes, Akabayashi suggested it as a way to get the girls working. Mikiya didn’t want to pay them while they’re in isolation, cheap ass. So the sooner we can get them doing something, the better for everyone. I’d rather he didn’t get it in his head to try to fire them all or something equally stupid.”

“I thought they issued a labour law amendment to make sure people couldn’t be fired right now.”

Shiki gave Izaya an amused look. “Because the yakuza are so very concerned about labour law violations.”

“Ah, yes, of course,” Izaya smirked. “You do know that Al Capone was taken down for tax fraud, don’t you? I don’t think you want to start drawing the eye of any government body.”

“I’ll be sure to pass that piece of advice on to Mikiya. Do you think it’s something we can manage?” 

“Well, it will really depend on the girls and what they can do from home. If they don’t have a suitable… workspace, it won’t work. Tell Akabaka to ask them if they can manage it. I can look into what they’d need and put the figures together for Mikiya to cry over. You know it won’t be cheap, right? Unless you want to go for the amateur porn type of quality.”

“Give me a range of options and we can talk it through with Akabayashi. Once we’ve determined the best option, we’ll just give him one number.”

Izaya chuckled and sat up, reaching for his laptop. “I love how you manage your boss,” he purred. “So authoritative.”

Shiki eyed Izaya with a smirk. “Some people need a firm hand,” he replied pointedly.

Izaya’s grin widened. “Daddy I need the company credit card…”

“What you need is supervision,” Shiki replied with a snort as he settled on the couch beside Izaya.

“Micromanager.” Izaya pointed out with a smirk as he promptly cuddled up to Shiki. “For the executive’s laptops, I did some preliminary research the other day and priced out some options.”

“Of course you did.” Shiki smiled as he put an arm around Izaya’s shoulder. “Show me.”

[happyandticklish]

A Study in Weakness

Shinra is pointing out different weaknesses in human beings when he discovers a particularly interesting one in his friend. 

Shinra Kishitani often wondered how he had ended up with the friends he had.  A man in possession of super human strength that scientifically speaking shouldn’t be possible, and an info broker who delighted in the fulfillment of his every sadistic urge. Certainly he had received a rather strange lot in life. Although then again, Shinra wasn’t the most normal person himself.

That day, however, Shinra found himself discussing one of the only interests he and the info broker had in common: human beings.

“Isn’t it fascinating that no matter how strong or invincible a person may be, they still fall prey to the most insignificant of things?” Shinra was saying. Besides him, Izaya watched him with a look of ambiguous interest. “Physical attacks like concussions and colds can take us down instantly, not to mention mental weaknesses like fear and the blinding passion of love.”

“You consider love to be a weakness?” Izaya inquired curiously, raising an eyebrow. “That’s ironic coming from you.”

Shinra chuckled. “Yeah, but I don’t consider my love for Celty a weakness. Our bond only makes us stronger together!” He sighed happily, his whole face lighting up at the mention of his beloved Dullahan. His devotion to her was near unsettling, but so were a lot of things about Shinra.

They turned a corner, the sun shining hot on their faces so that they had to squint to see where they were going. “It is intriguing, I will admit,” Izaya agreed, hoping to put a stop to another rant about Celty before it could begin. “Humans are such interesting creatures. So very delicate, no matter how many pretenses they put up. It’s a wonder they manage to survive at all.”

“You’re a human too, you know,” Shinra pointed out wryly, plopping down on a park bench and hissing as the warm metal burned his thighs. “You don’t have to talk about us like we’re an alien species.”

“I suppose,” Izaya murmured with contempt. He turned to Shinra suddenly, resting his chin on his knee. “What about you? What’s your weakness, my dear friend?”

“Oh you know, the usual things. I have seasonal allergies, a hopeless devotion to a girl who doesn’t look twice at me, I’m unbearably ticklish, I have a crick in my neck that’s never gone away—”

“Hold up,” Izaya said, and Shinra paused his list. “You’re ticklish?”

“Yeah,” Shinra confirmed, seeming completely unembarrassed by the fact. “I think everyone is.”

That was news to Izaya. It was strange how you could know someone for so long and not know such simple things about them. He wondered what other secrets Shinra was keeping from him. Lost in his thoughts, he almost missed it when Shinra mentioned him.

“I bet even you’re ticklish, Izaya.”

Izaya scoffed. “Me? Ticklish? Please.”

Shinra narrowed his eyes. Izaya shifted uncomfortably on the bench. The conversation was going in a decidedly unpleasant direction. “I think you’re lying.”

“Oh?” Izaya replied tersely. “And why is that?”

“Everyone’s ticklish, at least a little bit,” Shinra explained. Izaya wished he would stop using the word so casually. It made his skin crawl.

“Well, I’m not. So I guess you’re wrong—”

“Prove it.”

“What?” Izaya snapped.

“Prove that you’re not ticklish. I’ll tickle you for one minute and if you can resist me I’ll believe you.”

Izaya found himself trapped in the scientist’s gaze and he swallowed, squeezing his knee tighter against himself. “Why should I?”

Shinra shrugged, turning away. “It’s up to you. I’ll just know you’re lying if you refuse.”

Though Shinra had seemingly just provided him with the perfect out, Izaya knew a trap when he saw one. If he refused right now then Shinra would know he was lying, and there was no chance that he wouldn’t use that information against him later. But if Izaya could hold out, even for just one minute, he wouldn’t have to worry about any of that.

Izaya forced a smirk, sprawling back so his body sat open and defenseless to the touch. “Alright then. Go ahead. But it’s not going to work, I’m telling you.”

If Shinra was deterred by his comments he didn’t show it. Izaya tried to ignore the pounding of his heart inside his chest, focusing instead on trying to somehow manually shut off his nervous system. Shinra moved so that he was kneeling in front of him, hands resting lightly against his sides. For a moment no one moved.

Then Shinra curled his fingers.

An unmistakable shudder of feeling coursed through his body. It had been a while since anyone had tried to tickle him and he was unprepared for the onslaught of ticklishness he experienced then. He was far more sensitive than he remembered. Izaya had never felt more present than he did in that moment, and he swallowed back an involuntary noise. Shinra appeared unaware of the effect he was having on Izaya, and continued to wiggle his fingers in that same, deadly spot on his sides.

He couldn’t do it. There was no way that Izaya could just sit there and let himself be tickled. He was practically holding his breath as he mustered every ounce of self-control he had to stop himself from squirming away or making any kind of noise at all. It was annoying, actually, how ticklish he seemed to be. Izaya couldn’t remember the last time he had been tickled, though he was sure there had been moments when he was a child when the subject had organically cropped up. Still, it was really unfair that it was only now that he was discovering the sheer depth of his sensitivity.

Despite all of that, though/, he found himself almost enjoying himself. Tickling was something that he had always found fascinating about humans, how such a seemingly innocent thing could send the greatest of fighters into hysterics in an instant. Izaya enjoyed taking risks in life, and he saw this almost as a show of endurance to see how long he would be able to hold out, as he had never been able to test himself before in this area. He made up his mind that no matter what Shinra did he would not crack.

This resolve lasted about five seconds before Shinra’s path descended to his hips. Shinra stared at the hands now clamped about his wrists and the reluctant grin evident on Izaya’s face. “I thought you weren’t ticklish.”

“I’m not,” Izaya corrected immediately. Even though by this point that was obviously not the case, he still wasn’t willing to admit it.

Shinra raised his eyebrows, grinning infuriatingly. “Uh-huh. I may not be as attuned to human nature as you, but I know when someone’s lying.”

Izaya released his wrists, choosing instead to cross his arms across his chest. It was a gesture he was hoping Shinra would see as casual, while in reality he just wanted to have his hands somewhere where he could control their movements. “I wasn’t lying.”

“Then you won’t mind me trying again, will you?” Shinra’s tone was light and teasing and struck a chord somewhere deep inside him; Izaya didn’t want to lose.

Izaya hesitated for a moment. “Not at all.” Maybe he could control himself better now that he was used to the feeling.

Unfortunately for him, the anticipation only made it worse. As Shinra reached for his sides, Izaya watched them with a hawk’s eyes, his body quivering despite himself. At the last second, however, Shinra’s hands darted down to squeeze his thighs instead.

Unprepared, Izaya jumped, his lips pressing down into a firm line as he barely repressed a squeak. Shinra was unperturbed. He traced lightly over the trembling thighs, bare due to the heat from summer. Izaya drew in a sharp breath, choking back whimpering giggles. The fingers climbed his thighs, continuing their ascent beneath the hem of his t-shirt.

When Shinra’s fingers first touched bare skin Izaya had two realizations. One, that he was a lot more ticklish than he had ever thought possible, and two, that this had evolved very quickly past friend territory. There was a nervous energy in the air that had absolutely nothing to do with tickling, though that certainly didn’t help. At another time, when Izaya was thinking more clearly, he might have had the common sense to stop Shinra, to put an end to whatever charade they were putting on. Instead, he found himself strangely content to allow the other boy to continue. Izaya chose not to dwell on that information, saving it for another day.

In the meantime, he struggled to contain the effect Shinra was having on him, biting his lip as his skin jumped under the feather-light touches. Shinra wasn’t shy about switching between his torso and his legs either, and Izaya fisted his hands by his sides, never able to familiarize himself to the sensation. By this time a minute had passed and Izaya had technically won their little game. Both of them had long since given up on counting, however, quickly realizing that this was about something else at this point.

“Is something the matter?” Shinra asked sweetly, scratching persistently at a certain spot on his inner thigh.

“Hmm, hah, n-nope, nohot at a-all,” Izaya replied just as sweetly, trying to glare at his attacker. But the effect was ruined by the smile plastered wide over his usually sarcastic expression.

His pretense could only last so long, however. It wasn’t anything big that broke him—a single finger sweeping over his side—but it was the straw that broke the camel’s back. First a giggle, then a snort, and soon he was full on cackling as he squirmed under the ticklish assault. He didn’t stop him, weirdly, even though his laughter technically meant the end of their game. It was a couple minutes before Shinra himself finally relented, pulling his hands away and letting his friend breathe.

“I knew you were ticklish!” Shinra declared as Izaya tried to rub away the phantom tickles that still tingled all throughout his body.

“You’re dead Kishitani,” he growled, trying to recover any semblance of dignity. His cheeks were pink from laughter and embarrassment. “Just you wait—”

“Oh yeah?” Shinra challenged, raising his chin confidentially. “And just what are you going to do about it?”

Izaya smirked then, a predator’s glint in his eyes. “Oh, you’ll see.” And with that he pounced on his scrawny friend, long fingers digging into bony ribs with an untamed ferocity.

Unlike Izaya, unrestrained laughter immediately fell from Shinra’s lips as he jerked backwards. Shinra’s laughter was loud and buoyant, so exactly like his personality. He squirmed on the bench and pawed at Izaya’s hands, but not once did he protest the torture or try genuinely to escape. Izaya frowned, the lack of embarrassment on Shinra’s face irritating him. He momentarily stopped tickling him to stare critically at his friend. “Why aren’t you asking me to stop?”

Shinra drew in a deep breath, flushed and panting, but very obviously happy. He shrugged in response. “I don’t know. I guess I kind of liked it—it was fun.”

Izaya furrowed his eyebrows. “Fun?”

“Yeah!”

Izaya felt a blush blooming to his features, though this time it was for an entirely different reason. To cover up his own embarrassment, he smirked, looming over the smaller boy. “Alright then. Just remember you asked for this then!”

He jumped on him again and Shinra fell back into hysterical laughter, never once asking him to stop, and for a brief moment Izaya found himself smiling genuinely. This time, it wasn’t from the tickling.