#iza ft. ty- 1.

[universalcataclysm]

Once Upon A Time.

With - Ty Lodgston. (@nxclearwinterxx​​) Where - The Myer’s Yacht; Murphy’s Fairytale Fling Party. When - Seven months before the end. 

The evening air was balmy enough that Iza was almost regretting his choice in costume, especially now that he had a few drinks in him; Well. Drinks amongst other substances. There was the coke. And that delivery guy he’d swallowed down in the bathroom half an hour ago, the douchebag who had ruined his makeup and hadn’t even returned the favor. Honestly, Iza should have shoved him overboard.

But it was fine. The night was young and so was he. He’d fixed his makeup and it looked better the second time around than it had the first, and his outfit, despite being warmer than the short shorts and tank/polo/crop- top combo he usually defaulted to during the hotter months, was to die for. A silky baby blue swavorski studded number that even Iza’d had to question if it verged on being too gaudy, thigh- high silver boots, a lacy white capelet that perfectly matched the lacy underbust corset around his waist and his white bowtie and mask, because of course he had to play up the mystery aspect of his chosen fairytale. And then there was the ribbon, also baby blue silk and tied in a bow around his pristine blonde bun, a tiny glass slipper charm pinned right in the middle of the bow.

Over the top? Maybe. But that was just who he was, and he wouldn’t feel shame over it. Besides, yeah, he looked good.

And he was feeling good as his dearest friend’s party started coming to life. First came the earlybirds, those they knew well enough to feel comfortable to swing in for a little pregaming; a few people who Iza hated, most who he was neutral towards, one or two he sort of liked. His phone buzzed in his pocket. A text from his boyfriend, an apology for how he wouldn’t be making it tonight; Iza sent a series of sad emojis and rolled his eyes. Fucker was always complaining about pre- med homework, blah blah. Boring. Iza wasn’t sure why he hadn’t broken up with him yet, but he secretly kind of liked the stupid couple stuff. Luckily for them both, because that was about all there was between them these days, and even that was scarce. 

Whatever. Just meant there was one less complication in his plan to get railed tonight. 

His phone was turned off after that, and from then on the party steadily grew wilder and wilder. He was a little nervous being in too close of quarters with the drunk assholes, even though he was an asshole who definitely couldn’t be called sober, because this delicate outfit was too nice to ruin yet. So instead of squirming his way to the center of the dancing crowd, as he might have at any other party, he flitted to and fro, downing shots at what would have been an alarming rate if his tolerance hadn’t been so high and chatting up familiar faces and gathering up as much juicy gossip as he could. Wise to do that from time to time, collect useful knowledge, bolster a few fake friendships. He was in a good mood, thriving off of the company, the blissfully exciting vibe that accompanied a booming party, and the spirits.

And then he was catching sight of the most beautiful face he’d ever laid eyes on and choking vodka up his nose in the least graceful manner he’d ever displayed. 

It took him a moment to recover from that, coughing and swiping at his nose and watering eyes and trying to tame his wildly beating heart, but eventually he regained something resembling composure and waved off the hands patting his back and the people questioning whether he was okay, if he needed some water, if he needed Murphy. He didn’t need water, didn’t need to disturb Murphy, and he was- well. Something else. 

The man had only just boarded the yacht, and there was a girl with him. Girlfriend? Iza felt a reflexive swell of loathing, but she disappeared pretty quickly and that was either a good sign or a terrible one. Either they weren’t a couple, or they were an unhappy or distant one that would be easy enough for Iza to sink his claws into the handsome Prince- literally, he was Prince Charming, the prettiest one at this party- or they were a couple so established and trusting in each other that they didn’t feel the need to stay attached at the hip.

It wasn’t impossible to seduce someone in a relationship like that, but it was a little more work than Iza’d intended on putting in tonight.

This guy, though- Iza wanted him.

It was weird, though. Oftentimes when he set his sights on a man it was with the intent of getting him into the nearest semi- private area- if that- and trading orgasms as quick as possible before moving on to the next, and shit, sure he wanted that with this guy too, but... just... weird. He was struggling to get past how much he wanted to go over and introduce himself. Get a closer look at the man. Or just stay here and admire him and internally gush from afar. 

Then, Iza could have sworn that the man looked right at him, eye contact from across the deck of this overloaded yacht, and something in his chest rose up and overflowed- seconds passed, and then he blinked, and it was over, leaving him to wonder if it had ever even happened at all. Between his fuzzy thoughts, jelly knees, dizzy head and racing heart, Iza had to wonder if someone had snuck something into his drink again- but he decided this didn’t feel like last time. It was a different kind of scary.

He chugged down half his drink because his mouth had gone terribly dry and decided, nope, legs weren’t working anytime soon, but hey, at least he had a good view. Maybe it was creepy to just fucking stare at someone, but it was a big party, lots of people. He could have been looking at anyone and anything. He was just hanging out. Relaxing. Nursing his drink. It was fine. It was the finest night of his entire life. Definitely.

And then that eye contact thing that he maybe but surely couldn’t be imagining happened again, and luckily he wasn’t trying to take a drink that time, but god, that swoopy feeling in his stomach sure returned with a vengeance. What the fuck, honestly? Where the fuck was Murphy? He’d have an explanation for this. His explanation would probably be something along the lines of you need to get dicked down, and as always, he would be right.

Iza drew in a deep breath and counted down from a hundred, calming his stupid ass down and attempting to return his heartrate to normal. Maybe he’d just had too much cocaine. Maybe that was to blame for this. There had to be some sort of logical explanation- the dicking down, he reminded himself. Dick. Solved all problems, didn’t it? 

It dawned on him then that this was the longest he’d refrained approaching a target in- well, ever, probably. This was fucking unprecedented, and now that he’d come to that realization, well, he certainly couldn’t stand for it.

Of course that eye- contact- that- nearly- killed- him thing would happen again right then, and Iza all but whined, deflating against the railing and resolving himself to marching over there as soon as he was sure he could trust his legs. This was ridiculous. He was going to dance with that man and prove to them both that the Prince had absolutely no magic powers over him, and- and horrorstruck, Iza realized that the very thought of a simple dance with the man had him blushing. And not a cute, faint little blush either, it was a full- faced, red heated mess, he could feel it. 

Briefly, he considered throwing himself overboard before he bit the bullet and slipped through the crowd. He wasn’t sure what the fuck was wrong here, he only knew he had to fix it immediately, whatever it took.

It was easy enough to sneak through the maze of bodies until he was behind the Prince, but it took him a few moments to boost up his courage enough to speak, and that was another thing on an ever- growing list of shit he wasn’t used to. He took a sip of his bubbly drink for courage and then fixed a coy grin on his face, leaving the flute lifted near his lips as if pretending to hide and wrapping his free arm around his waist, a totally casual picture. Not at all the fluttery gay disaster he’d been turned in to inside. “I’m fairly certain this is the part where you’re meant to ask me to dance,” Iza told him, trying valiantly to steel himself for when this man turned around and Iza was met head- on with the full force of what Iza knew would be devastating beauty. “It is how the story goes, you know?” 

[weekly-tea]

4.11. - 10.11.2019.

Serija:

·         BoJack Horseman (6. sezona)

Trailer: https://youtu.be/ZOGxOQxXjdo

4. epizoda mi je najdraža, Mr. Peanutbutter i Pickles se svađaju i govore o bliskim im ljudima ''iza leđa'', a ti ljudi su zapravo skriveni u kući, jer su im htjeli prirediti iznenađenje, ali sad je sve upropašteno, no možda i nije hmm barem se saznalo kaj misle o njima. Kroz novu sezonu se protežu relativno/uvijek aktualne teme, kao npr pobuna pomoćnika, minimum wage, prava radnika, zaposlene majke, depresija/anksioznost i sl. BoJack je na svom putu iscjeljenja - prvi korak je prihvaćanje (''You can't help anybody else unless you're honest with yourself.'' ''I remember everything. I'm sober now.'' I još jedan quote about home, ali sam bila preležerna u vezi zapisavanja tijekom gledanja, pa ponovnim letimičnim gledanjem ga ne mogu pronaći.), vidimo jasno prikazano kak je i počela njegova ovisnost, waaay back; 4eva lik s kojim se mogu poprilično poistovjetiti, ma sa svima, barem djelićem. Njegovo prosvjetljenje kroz religiju mi je onak u stilu Kanye je snimio vjerski/duhovni album, al hajde, razmem razmem. Ova polusezona (nastavak 31. siječnja 2020.) mi je tak-tak, bilo je i boljih. Serija drži posebno mjesto u mom srcu, toliko životnih momenata prikazano, toliko odličnih citata mi i dalje u umu upisano (https://www.needsomefun.net/bojack-horseman-quotes/).

Recenzije:

-        ‘BoJack Horseman’ Review: Season 6, Part 1 Is an Exceptional Beginning of the End: https://www.indiewire.com/2019/10/bojack-horseman-season-6-review-part-1-ending-spoilers-1202184400/

-        "You need to take responsibility for yourself… You’re never going to be ‘good’ because you’re not ‘bad.'": https://www.denofgeek.com/us/tv/283968/bojack-horseman-season-6-part-1-review-spoiler-free

-        ''How could Netflix let this show go?'': https://www.nme.com/blogs/tv-blogs/bojack-horseman-season-6-part-1-review-2561168

Glazba:

Za ovaj tjedan navodim pjesme koje sam zaista najviše ponavljala i koje imaju ''ono nešto'' što me instant oduševilo.

·         Meghan Trainor - Wave ft. Mike Sabath

https://youtu.be/UIevTTLB_3Q

Meghan Trainor mi je u rangu sa Taylor Swift, ok ne mogu se u potpunosti mjeriti i svrstavati u istu kategoriju, ali ovak bazično su mi u istoj skupini izvođača i muzike kakve izvode. Wave ima tako jedan tipični eurovizijski štih, šteta što se ne natječe i ne spada tamo, jer bi imala velike šanse za pobjedu.

·         Little Mix - Think About Us ft. Ty Dolla $ign

https://youtu.be/Ygiz-CPVrcM

Opet stavljam jednu njihovu pjesmu. Koliko god nisam fan grupe, ali poneka pjesma baš genijalno iskoči. Kad je Fifth Harmony bio aktivan onda ih deffo nisam preferirala, a zapravo se nisu ni mogle istaknuti od njih, a otkako je 5H otišao na hiatus, vidljvo je kako Little Mix kao projekt može puno bolje opstati, ipak je britansko preferiranje girl (i boy) bandova jače.

·         Album: ''Hollywood's Bleeding'' - Post Malone

Super je produkcijski, slušljiv, radiofoničan i svi ti hvalospjevi stoje, no lično nisam oduševljena kao sa ''Astroworld''. Sve mi se čini da bi se Posty mogao pretvoriti u Drake-a, ali živi bili, pa vidjeli. Najbolje pjesme su mi istoimena Hollywood's Bleeding, Goodbyes, Die For Me, Circles i Take What You Want.. ajd dobre su i Wow i Sunflower. Ugl, sviđa mi se, ali ne dovoljnooo hahah.

Recenzije:

-        ''Post’s music comes from that zone of confusion where hip-hop and alternative rock overlap.'': https://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/post-malone-hollywoods-bleeding/

-        “I don’t want to be a rapper. I just want to be a person that makes music.”: https://www.nme.com/reviews/album/post-malone-hollywoods-bleeding-review

-        Post Malone Keeps His Unstoppable Roll Going on ‘Hollywood’s Bleeding’: https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-album-reviews/post-malone-hollywoods-bleeding-882364/

Film:

Joker (2019.)

Trailer: https://youtu.be/zAGVQLHvwOY

Klasično podlegla hype-u novog holivudskog filma. Vjerojatno se već zna da nisam ljubitelj stripova, SF-a, DC i Marvel prepucavanja, ali pokoji filmić mogu pogledati. Mislim da je otprilike svima poznata povijest Jokera i Batmana, a u ovom izdanju je to super (suptilno) prikazano. Joaquin Phoenix se odlično snašao u ovoj ulozi, nisam gledala Batmana sa Heathom Ledgerom (zar je već jedanaest godina pd njegove smrti omg?!), ali mislim da su bok uz bok. Slobodno mogu kazati da sam se sat i pol nećkala, tj. nisam znala kakav će biti finalni sud (hoću li biti zadovoljna pogledanim ili ne), no posljednjih cca pol sata je rasturilo, primjećuje se maestralna promjena karaktera, te time dajem big like ovom filmu. Showbiz pikanterija za kraj: iznenadila se kad saznala da su Joaquin i Rooney Mara zaručeni!

Recenzije:

-        ''Joker je, prije svega, jedna mračna karakterna studija.'':

https://svijetfilma.eu/recenzija-joker-joker-2019/

-        ''Iznimna interpretacija stripovsko-filmskoga anti-junaka u izvedbi jednoga od najboljih glumaca današnjice, Joaquina Phoenix'': https://music-box.hr/2019/10/21/recenzija-todd-phillips-joker-o-pepelu-i-dijamantu-phoenixu/

-        "Joker" nove generacije brutalan je koliko i tragičan, a kvalitetom je nadmašio sve prethodnike: https://dnevnik.hr/showbuzz/preporuke/recenzija-filma-joker---579419.html

-        Sirova, mračna, buntovna i odvažna studija poremećenog uma koja će vas usisati u svoj mračni svijet: https://net.hr/hot/film/pogledali-smo-jokera-sirova-mracna-buntovna-i-rockerski-odvazna-studija-poremecenog-uma-koja-ce-vas-usisati-u-svoj-mracni-svijet/

-        Love it or hate it, the Joker movie presents a tempting fantasy: https://www.theverge.com/2019/10/4/20899422/joker-movie-review-todd-phillips-joaquin-phoenix-incel-violence-dc-comics-batman

-        “No Laughing Matter.”: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2019/10/07/todd-phillips-joker-is-no-laughing-matter#

Tema:

·         Asertivnost

Skoro tri mjeseca nisam imala riječ-pojam i o tome ukratko iznosila najvažnije i najzanimljivije članke. Valjalo je uzeti kraću (spontanu) pauzu. Ovotjedna riječ mi je sinula iznenada, nemam suvislog objašnjenja, no vrtila mi se u glavi i rekoh si da ću istražiti ponešto o tome.

* Asertivnost (lat. asserere: prisvojiti; tvrditi) - značajka ponašanja ili osobina ličnosti koja se očituje u djelatnoj obrani svojih prava ili pogleda. U hrvatskom jeziku tom izrazu najbolje odgovaraju izrazi ''povjerenje u sebe'', ''samopouzdanje'', ''samosvijest'', ''prodornost''. Prema mišljenju nekih psihologa asertivnost je ''optimalno'' ponašanje, koje se nalazi na sredini između pasivnosti i agresije. (http://www.enciklopedija.hr/natuknica.aspx?id=4153)

Asertivnost je sposobnost iskrenog izražavanja vlastitih mišljenja, osjećaja i stavova na način koji ne krši prava drugih.

Prednosti asertivnog ponašanja:

-        uspješno vladanje stresom

-        razvijanje dobre samokontrole

-        osjećaj samopoštovanja i samopouzdanja

-        povećanje samouvjerenosti

-        ostvarivanje ciljeva, želja i potreba

-        otvorenost za nova rješenja

-        zalaganje za rješavanje konflikata

Kada je potrebno asertivno ponašanje, je li uvijek potrebno i korisni savjeti: https://www.krenizdravo.rtl.hr/psihologija/asertivnost-ponasanje-komunikacija-i-savjeti

Razlika između asertivnosti i agresivnosti

Asertivne osobe svoje potrebe i stavove komuniciraju samouvjereno i direktno. Zauzimaju se za sebe bez napadanja drugih, te istovremeno uzimaju u obzir stavove osoba s kojima su u komunikaciji. Primjer asertivne izjave bio bi: '’Razumijem da ti je jako važan ovaj projekt, ali na sljedećem sastanku, volio bih da uvažiš i ono što ja imam za reći.'’

Agresivnost u komunikaciji, s druge strane, možda najbolje opisuje fraza ‘tko je jači, taj kači’. Cilj agresivne komunikacije je dominirati mišljenjima, stavovima i postupcima drugih, često s rečenicama poput: '’Želim da to napraviš odmah'’ ili '’Ne zanima me što mi imaš za reći, moja je zadnja’’.  (https://www.adiva.hr/lifestyle/psiha-i-emocije/znate-li-razliku-izmedu-asertivnosti-i-agresivnosti/)

Zanimljivi članci:

-        Asertivnost u komunikaciji: http://emotrip.org/index.php/komunikacija-i-odnosi/128-asertivnost-u-komunikaciji

-        Zašto se isplati ponašati se na asertivan način?: https://www.vaspsiholog.com/2011/04/sta-je-asertivnost/

-        Naučite se zalagati za sebe: http://www.tesa.hr/psiho-teme/asertivnost-naucite-se-zalagati-za-sebe/

-        Zašto je asertivnost bitna za posao?: https://www.smartbiz.hr/sto-asertivnost-zasto-bitna-posao/

I za kraj test - jeste li asertivni?

http://she.hr/test-jeste-li-asertivni/