#ive watched people do them at my past job

[midnightcitymoon]

everything always goes smoothly for me and works out even better than i could ask for or expect and i am so grateful for that

11:11 ☆MiracleMakeAWishComeTrueSpell🌙

Eleven-Eleven, This is a call to all angels in heaven, give me a miracle and make my wish come true!

🌜☄⭐🕤🕙🕦⭐🕯🕯📰🎁🎆🎈🎉🎖🔜🔝🔔🕯💰📰💳📧📭🔥🗝🔮🛡🌟☄🌛🌞🌈

Like to Charge, Reblog To Cast spell

[juggalism]

the suits are in today so my manager is running around pretending he actually does shit ever and hes Really Fucking Bad At It

[quintinh43]

Heavy Heads and Heavy Hearts | Quinn Hughes

Summary: Quinn gets injured as a game. His girlfriend takes him and cares for him.

Pairings: Quinn Hughes x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Anxiety, Head injury, food, angst, mentions of vomiting (no actual vomiting)

Notes: Hi guyss! Hope everyone is doing ok! Injured Quinn got the most votes, so here we are! This one is the longest one ive done so far, I definitely did not mean for it to be as long as it is but here we are. Also, im not a professionl in any way, so i cant say this is concussion accurate. I just went off of my experience in dealing with athletes that have Concussions, and my own Concussions lol. Anywaysss I hope yall enjoy. Love Soph.

---

There was something so gut-wrenching about watching the man you love get injured. One second, Quinn was cutting quickly around the back of the net, and the next, he was getting slammed into the boards hard. It was nothing. You get hit, you get up, and you keep going. It was simply a part of hockey.

Except this time, Quinn wasn't getting up. He wasn't moving at all. You stand up, heart in your throat. The room feels like it's tilting. The sharp shrill of the refs whistle cut through the air, stopping the play as the refs skate over to where Quinn is lying motionless on the ice.

They are calling for medics. Your head is spinning with the worst possible scenarios as you excuse yourself from your seat and practically sprint to the locker room. One of the security members holds out a hand to stop you.

"Ma'am, you can't be here, please exit this area"

Great. Just fucking great. This is exactly what you need right now. The overwhelming need that aches in your bones demanding to know that Quinn is ok makes you want to cry. Because now this fucker won't let you through. And you're nearly too panicked to do anything about it.

The logical route would be pulling out Quinns wallet, that has his ID in it, and explaining that you are his girlfriend. But with your anxiety high, and your heart in your throat logic is not the first thing on your mind.

"Listen buddy," you start, ready to absolutely rip this guy a new one. Thankfully for him, one of the trainers who knows you happens to be exiting the locker room.

"Let her through, Jace, that's Hughes' girl" he says, waving you forward. The security guard- Jace apparently, lets you pass with a grumble.

By the time you get rink side, Quinn is (half) conscious- thank God, and being half carried off the ice by Petey and Boeser. He's transfered to the care of two medics, who sit him on a bench and begin to check him over.

One of them is asking him questions gently, both to keep him awake and assess the damage to his head. While the other stabilizes his neck. "Can you tell me your full name and today's date?" One of the medics asks.

"Quintin Jerome Hughes," he slurs, eyes fluttering, "its Feb'uary... twenty-second, twenty-twenty-four"

Your breath hitches. He got the date wrong. You can't help the panic that rushes through you. "Good job Quinn, do you know where you are?"

"Van, Roger's arena," he mumbles, "playing hockey"

"Good," the medic hums. "we need to take off your equipment to make sure you aren't injured anywhere else. Is that ok?"

"Y/n" he mumbles, eyes closing and head tilting forward, his head snapped back up a moment later, and if the other medic hadn't had his head stabilized he would probably have mild whiplash.

"Stay awake for us, Quinn. Is Y/n someone you'd like us to call?"

You spring forward at the mention of your name, "I'm here," you say, pushing past a couple of people who are standing around, ready to assist if the situation gets worse.

"My girl" Quinn slurs, his lips tilting into a small smile. Your heart flutters at that. In the midst of his delirium, he still cares about you dearly.

"Hello Y/n, I'm Sam," the guy who's been asking him questions, "and that's Kieran," he says, nudging his head towards Kieran, who gives a small smile.

"Do you think you could help us remove his equipment?"

"Yes absolutely, just tell me what to do" you say, glad that you can help.

"Can you remove his jersey and shoulder pads? Kieran needs to keep his neck stable, and I need to check for any other possible injuries. And keep him talking"

"Yeah, of course," you start by bending his elbow to slide it out of the sleeve of his jersey.

"Hey Quinny" you say softly, sliding his other arm out of his jersey "you played really really good today, I'm so proud of you"

"Thanks baby," he murmers, "glad you're here." He tries to lean his head against your chest, he huffs when Kieran doesn't let him, and you can't help but let out a breathy laugh, patting his head lovingly.

Kieran tilts his head to one side, allowing you to pull the jersey over his head. You deposit it in his cubby behind him and make quick work undoing his shoulder pads and pulling them off gently.

"I'm glad I'm here too. What do you wanna eat when we get home?"

Sam gently asks you to move out of the way so he can check Quinns upper body for injuries. The second you aren't doing something, the anxiety rises back to your chest. You take a deep breath and begin to unlace his skates. You pull them off, slipping a pair of slides on his feet so his socks don't get wet.

"Hmm" he hums in thought "potatos...?"

You laugh, "Alright Quinny. We'll have potatos"

Finally after palpating his whole body to make sure he doesn't have any other major injuries, testing his reflexes, and asking him a bunch more questions. They diagnose him with a minor concussion, and give you a list of things to look out for.

They deem it safe enough to leave you alone with him for a little bit and tell you to change him into something more comfortable. It takes a bit of work to take off his hockey pants and shinguards and get him into a pair of sweats and a hoodie.

By the time you're done, the equipment manager and the medics have collected the rest of his equipment. After making sure his hockey bag is fully packed with everything, you grab his keys from your purse, while the EM helps you bring his bag to his car, and the medic helps you half carry him down.

He can mostly walk on his own, but better safe than sorry. On the ride home he keeps his head resting against the window, a cool compress is wrapped around his neck, and he's holding one over his eyes with one hand, while the other holds yours tightly.

You trace your thumb over the backs of his knuckles soothingly and keep him talking the whole way home. "What kind of potatoes do you want when we get home, Hon?"

"Can I change my mind?" He asks sheepishly. He's still talking very quietly and slurring his words a little, but the medics said that was nothing to worry about unless he started getting worse. So far, it was nothing to worry about.

"Of course my love, anything you want" you bring your intertwined hands to rest on your chest. It's a comforting weight over your heart, that you didn't know you needed until it was there.

Your phone lights up from the cup holder, it's a text from Petey, saying that the Canucks won the game. There are a few other texts, from his parents and brothers. You make a mental note to reply to them as soon as you get Quinn settled at home.

"Can we have noodles?" He mumbles.

"Yes, of course, love." You can't help but kiss the back of his knuckles. Watching Quinn get injured to the point of losing consciousness was not something you ever wanted to experience ever again.

"Your boys won, by the way," you say softly.

"The did?!" Quinns head shoots up front the window, and he is filled with instant regret as a sharp twinge shoots down his neck and to his shoulder.

"Ow fuck" he mumbles, laying his head back against the cool window.

"Careful love," you gasp, squeezing his hand.

"I know, I'm sorry," he mumbles, squeezing your hand back. You sigh, you have been on edge since he got injured, and it didn't look like the anxiety would dissipate for a while. You would just have to deal with it and try not to be an over bearing worry wart.

"You guys won 5-2" you smile, finally pulling into your apartment parking lot.

"I didn't do much except get my brains knocked around" he grumbles. "Some captain I am"

You scoff, flicking him in the nose lightly. "Don't sell yourself short, Quinny. Three of those points are yours."

Quinn wrinkles his nose and leans forward to bite your finger. You yelp, snatching it away with a glare. He sticks his tongue out at you, and you laugh, your chest feeling a little lighter than before.

"Come on, let's get you upstairs. " You say, undoing your seat belt and getting out of the car. You run around to his passenger side and open the door for him, and help him step out of the car. He throws an arm over your shoulder, and you wrap one around his waist. He's not as wobbly on his feet as he was earlier, but he still isn't at full strength.

Quinn squeezes his eyes shut and tucks his face against your hair. The florescent elevator lights were not pleasant in his state. "Can we keep the apartment lights off?" He mumbles against your hair.

"Sure love," you said rubbing your hand up and down his back soothingly, "we're almost home," you fish the keys out of your purse and unlock it. You toe your shoes off at the door while Quinn slips his off easily and you guide him to the couch.

"What do you want first, baby? Food or a shower?"

"I'm not really hungry" Quinn mumbles, laying on the couch and adjusting the ice pack under his neck. You sit on the couch handle, stroking his hair back from his forehead. "I know honey, but we should try to get something light in your system, if you're feeling upto it."

Quinn sighs. He knows you're right. "I can make you toast? Or a sandwich or something?" You offer, smoothing your thumb over his hairline.

"Do we have bagles?" He asks

"Yeah, we have bagles, I'll make you one of those?"

"Yes please," he mumbles, you plant a kiss on his forehead and go pop a bagle into the toaster, "can you do it with cream cheese and jam?" He asks, chewing on his lip nervously.

"Sure, Hon, I'm gonna make myself some tea. Do you want a cup?" You ask as you pull the cream cheese and jam out of the fridge.

"No thanks, I'm ok" he mumbles. After his bagle is done being made, you help ease him into sitting position, and sit next to him with your cup of tea. He eats a bit more than half the bagle, and you finish off the rest before deeming it time to shower.

You remember all the messages from his family, and quickly shoot them texts, saying that he's ok and you just got home and you'll talk more when he gets settled.

"I'm gonna put these back in the freezer while we shower, yeah?"

Quinn nods, handing the ice packs to you to put in the freezer. You help him up slowly and lead him to the bathroom. You keep the lights off and leave the door open so you have a little bit of light from the bedroom.

While the shower warms up, you grab a clean change  of clothes for both you and Quinn and set them on the counter before helping Quinn strip. He has to brace an arm against the wall while you hold him steady with one hand and maneuver his clothes off with the other.

"I'm sorry," he murmers against your hair as you help him step into the shower.

"Oh Quinn, there's nothing to be sorry for," you say, sitting him on the shower seat.

"I'm sorry you have to take care of me like this." He huffs, resting his head against the cool Ike of the shower wall, "I feel so pathetic, " his voice cracks, and your heart nearly breaks.

"Quinn, my love, taking care of you is not a burden. It's a pleasure. I love you to the ends of the earth, and I would do anything for you, my sweets. " You kiss him on the forehead sweetly as if to prove your point.

He doesn't say much about it after that, but you can tell he still feels bad. You make quick work of washing his hair, being very careful of where a small bump has formed on his head. You scrub him down and rinse him off before shutting off the water.

You wrap a towel around yourself and then dry Quinn off gently before helping him change into his pajamas. "Let me change and then dry your hair a little bit before we have to put an ice pack on your head, ok?"

Quinn nods. He sits on the counter, leaning against the wall while you change into your pajamas. You plug in the hair dryer and dry his hair, keeping his head steady with one hand. As soon as his hair is no longer soaking wet, you help him off the bathroom counter and into bed. You grab the ice packs from the freezer and help him position them on his head and neck until he's comfortable.

"I'll be back in less than ten minutes, baby. I'm just going to grab your stuff from the car, ok?" You say pulling on a pair of sweats and a hoodie over your pajamas.

"Ok" Quinn mumbles, "I'll call if anything" he says patting his nightstand to make sure his phone is there.

You kiss him on the forehead and pull the bedroom door halfway closed so the light from the hall isn't too bright. Grabbing his car keys and your phone from the counter, you hit the call button on Ellen's contact as you slip out the door.

She picks up on the first ring "Hows he doing?" She asks immediately. She sounds distressed, maybe like she's been crying. You don't blame her. They probably haven't heard anything unless someone on the team contacted them, and you have no idea how bad it looked on TV.

"He's ok, Mrs. H, it's a mild concussion. His symptoms aren't worsening at all, and they said with some rest he'll be significantly better by tomorrow"

Her sigh of relief was unmatched. "He'll be out of play for a couple of weeks, but they just want to make sure he's back to 100% before he's playing again." The elevator finally opens, and you hit the button for the parking garage.

"Thank you so much, Y/n, im glad you're there with him. I know he's in good hands. I'll leave you be love, Jack and luke are super super anxious and would appreciate a call from you. Text me if anything happens."

"I will, Mrs. H, tell Mr. H I say hi"

"I will dear, thanks for taking care of our boy"

"Of course El, he's my boy too," you smile.

You swear you can hear Ellen smile over the phone. "We love you dear, I'll talk to you tomorrow ok. Don't forget to take care of yourself too"

"I will, I love you guys too. I'll text you updates"

"Alright, bye dear."

"Bye," you sigh, pressing the end call button, just as the elevator opens to the parking garage. As you press the button to open the trunk, you call Jack.

"Y/n,"  he huffs out, not even after a full ring. "How's Quinn? If he ok? What happened?"  Before you can answer any of Jacks questions, Luke's voice cuts him off, "is Quinn ok? Are you guys at the hospital? It looked really bad -"

Before their panicked tangents can get worse, you interrupt them both. "Take a breath, you two," you say calmly, breathing exaggeratedly so they can copy you "in and out, relax. Quinn is ok. He's ok"

"He's ok?"

"He's ok" you repeat. You feel the tears start to build, and your voice cracks "He's ok"

"Oh Y/n." Jack says softly.

"It's ok, I'm ok" you say, more to yourself than to Jack as you wipe the tears away. "Hold on, gimme one sec." You say, setting down your phone as you pull Quinn's hockey bag out the car. You close the trunk, make sure the car is locked and head back to the elevator.

"Hi, sorry I'm back. I was just grabbing Quinn's stuff out the car."

"Can you tell us what happened?"  Luke asks softly.

"He's got a concussion, and he's a bit bruised up, but other than that he's alright"

"Fuck, how bad is it?" Jack asks, the fear is evident in his voice, and you can't blame him. Concussions can be really bad sometimes.

"They said its a mild concussion, he's not throwing up at all, his memory is ok, he didn't injure his spine or anything, he'll be ok after a few days of rest. He probably wont be playing for a few weeks, but better safe than sorry."

"Oh thank God"  both Jack and Luke huffed "isn't he not supposed to sleep for 24 hours after or something?" Luke asks.

You shake your head with a small smile "Thats a myth, Lukey. As long as I check on him every few hours its ok for him to sleep."

"Ohh, ok. Well that's good" Luke says.

"We are glad he has you Y/n, thank you for taking care of our brother."

"Always" you say softly.

"We'll let you go now, keep us updated?"

"I will, Jackie. You two get some rest, you have a big game tomorrow, love you guys"

"We love you too Y/n/n" both boys say, hanging up.

You sigh, leaving his bag at the door. "Y/n?" Quinns weak voice calls out from the bedroom. You rush to him immediately, scared that something is wrong.

"Yes, Quinny, I'm right here" you say kneeling beside the bed, and stroking his hair.

"You took long," he mumbles, pressing his lips against your wrist.

"I'm sorry love, I'm here now," you stand, stripping the hoodie and sweats off and climbing into bed next to him. You stay a little distance away, not wanting to hurt Quinn. But he grumbles at you, tugging on your shirt to get you to come closer. Normally, he would just grab you and pull you closer, but he's still weak.

"I don't wanna hurt you" you mumble, scooting closer so that you are tucked against his side. He tangles your legs together and rests his head against yours.

"Never" he says, pressing his lips to the side of your head. You rest one of your hands on his hip, under his shirt, stroking your thumb over his hip bone.

"How you feeling?" You ask softly.

"Beat" he mumbles "thanks for taking care of me"

"I'll take care of you for as long as you let me love" you say, pressing a gentle kiss to the underside of his jaw.

"Forever?"

"Forever."

---

Wc: 3.1k

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Ok hear me out: Vessel has a gf (reader) who doesn’t know he’s Vessel but he wants to tell her and is super nervous because he‘s revealing such a big part of himself and he‘s kinda afraid that she‘ll be mad because he kept such a big secret from her (but ofc she‘s not mad duh)?? 😭

Fucking loved writing this my god…

That other side of me

He wasn’t sure why exactly he had kept it to himself for so long. Well, lie, he knew why or at least one side of why. People usually changed after that. There had been partners who hadn’t even been all that interested in anything serious before his admission. The eyes then sparked with possibilities - no longer love. So Vessel had gone careful with who he let in on the secret of his real and main job.

The first time he was hit with a wave of panic over this was when you had invited him over to spend the night. That whole concept was scary in itself. Because it had been a while since he had a serious relationship and at that time he was still waiting for it all to crumble somehow. You had been making tea in the kitchen when he saw it. A stack of sleep token records. His heart plummeted to the ground as anxiety surged up, he quickly pulled out his phone sending an almost gibberish text to the group chat along with a blurry picture - she’s a fucking fan.

“What’s this?”, Vessel had lifted the vinyl record as you walked back into the room. “Sleep token”, you mussed, “Have you heard of them? I swear every time I bring them up everyone’s like huh?”, you rambled on, “But they are so good and… you said that you liked this genre of music, I think you would love them”. Vessel probably looked like an absolute idiot standing with his mouth slightly open as he watched you. Your happiness seemed so genuine he could cry. “I’ll look into it”, he had muttered, setting the vinyl down. “I can send you my faves but you would probably have a whole album worth of song to listen”, you chuckled, settling down on the sofa beside him.

That and many more moments played in Vessel’s mind for weeks. The sound of you humming his songs. A shirt with their band symbol you wore to your fifth date. “I say just go for it”, iii shrugged during one of the rehearsals. “Like what’s worse that could happen?”, ii added. “She’s like all the others- a fame chaser and I will lose the best thing I had in ages”, Vessel sighed. “Shit, that’s dark”, iii blew out a breath. “But do you think she’s a gold digger? You talk completely differently about her than the girls you mingled with before”, iv pointed out. Vessel was about to answer when his phone pinged. He sighed before turning it to the boys. “Remind me again when you leave? Cause I’m looking at sleep token tickets wondering if we could find a date that works for us both” - it read. “You got yourself in a fine pickle here, mate”, iii chuckled. “Bring her backstage”, ii suggested. “And kill an innocent girl with a heart attack? You all are idiots”, iv shook his head.

And now he has sat in your apartment once again with days left before he was off to tour. Watching you make a list of things he should pack as you stirred dinner with one hand. “Wait you said registered luggage right? So nothing is off limits”, you looked over your shoulder catching a totally zoned-out Vessel. “Vess”, you said softly lowering the heat before turning to him. “What’s wrong? You’ve been off the past couple of days”, you gently brushed some of the hair away from his face, lifting his chin. He watched you for a moment before clearing his throat, “We need to talk”. Your body instantly gets ridged.

“You’re breaking up with me aren’t you”, you muttered, feeling your eyes sting instantly. “No, no, fuck no”, he reached for your hand pulling you closer to him. “It’s about sleep token”, Vessel muttered, against your stomach before lifting his head. “What?”, you frowned, “Vess, if you don’t like them I’m not some deranged fan, we can still date”, you shook your head. Vessel ran a hand over his face, taking a deep breath in, “I’m the lead singer. It’s my bad you like”. Your face blanked for a moment before you let out a light laugh, “Very funny”.

“I’m serious”, Vessel nodded, “Come to the show I will bring you backstage, can take the mask off me yourself”. He watched as all the gears slowly turned before you let out a laugh. “I thought I was losing my mind cause you smiled a couple of weeks back and it was so Vessel, I thought I had just…”, you shook your head, “shit, oh my god… I showed you my shrine…”, you whined hiding your face in your hands. Vessel chuckled pulling at your wrists, “It was cute”, “Cute? You probably think I’m crazy”, you grunted.

“I just didn’t want this to change anything between us”, Vessel admitted. “No, I… look if you want I can pretend that you are going on a work trip and I don’t have to be a part of that side of your life. I can sell the tickets and take down…”, “Okay, take a deep breath”, Vessel cuts you off, threading his fingers through yours. “I like that you’re a fan and I want you at the shows”, he reassured you. “I can sign papers if you want but I won’t say anything to anyone I… I’m dating you a tall nerdy guy, not Vessel”, you leaned in cupping your face, “Even if it’s fucking sexy to think…”, you chuckled making Vessel let out a light laugh as well. “I love you”, he muttered, “and I you. This you”, you tapped at his chest, “that another side is a nice addition but it doesn’t matter to me”.

[ai-manre]

The way that characters keep accusing Jon of fucking someone just because he's kind and open-minded and wants to protect people...

Sam:

Jon drew his longsword. He dared defy Ser Alliser only to a point, and he feared he was well beyond it now.

Thorne smiled. "The Bastard wishes to defend his lady love, so we shall make an exercise of it. Rat, Pimple, help our Stone Head here." Rast and Albett moved to join Halder. "Three of you ought to be sufficient to make Lady Piggy squeal. All you need do is get past the Bastard." - Jon IV, AGOT

The plan was Chett's. He was the clever one; he'd been steward to old Maester Aemon for four good years before that bastard Jon Snow had done him out so his job could be handed to his fat pig of a friend. When he killed Sam Tarly tonight, he planned to whisper, "Give my love to Lord Snow," right in his ear before he sliced Ser Piggy's throat open to let the blood come bubbling out through all those layers of suet. - Prologue, ASOS

Melisandre:

Jon could feel her heat, even through his wool and boiled leather. The sight of them arm in arm was drawing curious looks. They will be whispering in the barracks tonight. - Jon I ADWD

Alys:

"A wildling. A filthy, murdering wildling." Cregan's hands closed into fists. The gloves that covered them were leather, lined with fur to match the cloak that hung matted and stiff from his broad shoulders. His black wool surcoat was emblazoned with the white sunburst of his house. "I see what you are, Snow. Half a wolf and half a wildling, baseborn get of a traitor and a whore. You would deliver a highborn maid to the bed of some stinking savage. Did you sample her yourself first?" - Jon X, ADWD

Satin:

Ser Malegorn stepped forward. "I will escort Her Grace to the feast. We shall not require your … steward." The way the man drew out the last word told Jon that he had been considering saying something else. Boy? Pet? Whore? - Jon X, ADWD

Val:

"Easily remedied." Florent's smile was so false that it looked painful. "Where is she, Lord Snow? Have you moved her to one of your other castles? Greyguard or the Shadow Tower? Whore's Burrow, with t'other wenches?" He leaned close. "Some say you have her tucked away for your own pleasure. It makes no matter to me, so long as she is not with child. I'll get my own sons on her. If you've broken her to saddle, well … we are both men of the world, are we not?" - Jon X, ADWD

The watch is constantly whispering and gossiping about his sexual deviant tastes because he's?? Nice and kind to people?? Irrelevant of who they are??

[hellodropbear]

like she used to (VI)

alexia putellas x sister

part I, II, III, IV, V

~~~~~~

When I asked, Aitana told me there was nothing wrong when she followed Alexia outside. She told me that Mapi hadn't been out there and that she really did need help with her dribbling. 

It was a lie, of course. I am not naive. 

She told me that I was staying at her house tonight, and tomorrow she will call Alba. They were not lies, that much I could tell. 

I don't want her to call Alba, but I don't think I have a choice in that decision.

Aitana and Mapi don't think I should be alone at the moment. Apparently, I have not been taking good enough care of myself to be trusted by myself in my own house.

Their thought is supposed to make me feel comforted, loved. But really, all it makes me feel is frustrated. Weak.

Weaker than I already am.

I am almost 16, I should be able to take care of myself.

I don't tell them that I miss Mami, or that I wish she didn't work until late every night, because I don't want her to pull away from her job. She loves it there, it gives her time away from her children and she can earn money for her future.

I don't tell them that I wish Alba would realise that something is wrong, without having to be told. I can't pull her away from her friends, her job. Her life that doesn't really involve me anymore.

So I don't tell them anything, falling back into the silence as I get into Aitana's car, ignoring her eyes that seemed glued to the side of my face.

"I miss you, Elena."

Her words are almost silent, and if I hadn't strained my ears I wouldn't have been able to hear them.

I know what she means, she misses the person I used to be. I don't know how to tell her that I miss her to, but I just can't seem to find her anymore.

For some reason, her words trigger a sudden swirl of anger, of frustration within me and I am replying before I can even think about what is coming out of my mouth.

"Then leave me alone!"

Aitana recoils and looking back, I can recognise that my words were too harsh. Too harsh to one of the few people who had actually been looking out for me.

But my sadness has morphed into concealed anger over the past few days, a raging fire inside me that is fighting to escape, fighting to explode in the worst way possible.

There is not enough water to put the fire out, my weak attempts only making it grow and grow.

It is just unfortunate that Aitana was the one who had to witness the explosion. If you can even call it that.

Because the tsunami wave is growing, I can feel it building inside of me. It is only a matter of time before it crashes and I feel tense as I wait for the inevitable destruction.

"Elena-" Her voice was soft, too soft. Too kind and too even.

They always were. Mapi and Aitana were always too nice, too caring and too nurturing, even when all I wanted was for someone to scream at me. Someone to yell, to tell me this was all my fault just so I could have someone to blame.

It is too hard to blame Alexia because I love her too much.

It is too hard to blame Alexia because I have been grieving her like she is dead. You do not blame a dead person for dying.

I want to be punished, to be screamed at. I want someone to tell me that I should be like this, to tell me that this is all my fault. I want someone to watch as I cry, to allow me to just release every single thing that is inside of me so I can stop feeling like this.

Stop feeling the sadness, stop feeling the hurt, stop feeling the anger, the loneliness, the isolation.

Stop feeling at all.

Because it all hurts so much, feeling hurts me so much and I want to stop hurting. I want to be safe, comfortable. I want to be loved, to be warm.

I want to be held in Alexia's arms like she used to.

Her hand combing through the knots in my hair, allowing me to fall asleep in her lap.

They were the times I felt most comfortable, right there on the couch, in her arms.

Because she was the sister I went to when I needed comfort, when I needed to cry about all of life's problems. To be frustrated, angry. When I didn't want to be cheered up, when I didn't want to be positive.

To just be miserable.

But it was hard to be miserable when I was consumed by her smell, her touch. The love I could only find in my sister.

And I wish I could get that same comfort from Alba. From Aitana or from Mapi. From anyone that was willing to give it to me.

But I don't think it is that simple.

"I just... I can't do it any more."

Aitana frowns, as if debating inside her what to do.

"What do you need, Lena?"

Her voice cracks. She doesn't know what to do anymore. Similar to how Mapi didn't know what to do with me.

All I need is Alexia, her love and affection. But it is one of the only things I can't get.

So I don't respond, because I can't give her the answer that I want, but there is nothing else that will suffice.

"I don't know why I asked that question. You want Alexia, no?"

I look out the window as I nod.

"Of course I want Alexia!" A tear falls from my eye, although my words do not sound sad, they sound angry.

Because I feel angry, with everything.

But I also feel everything, every emotion giving me whiplash as I finally feel myself breaking.

Aitana hesitates, placing her hand on my shoulder.

"Hey. Hey, Elena, look at me."

I don't turn my head immediately, first trying to shrug her hand off my shoulder but giving up when her grip stays firm, her hand not even budging.

A strangled cry leaves my mouth and I slowly turn my head, my eyes meeting her wet ones.

"What is wrong with me?"

We are in a car, so it is difficult for Aitana to hug me, but she tries her best, reaching over the centre console and wrapping her arms around my trembling body.

"There is nothing wrong with you, Elena. You are going through such a hard thing, but there is nothing wrong with you."

"Why does she hate me so much?"

I whisper through my tears, but Aitana hears me loud and clear.

"She doesn't hate you, not at all. She loves you so much but sometimes it is just hard for her to show it."

"It shouldn't be so hard, it never used to be like this."

~~~~~~

August 23, 2012.

Papi's office door has been closed for too long.

A few months ago, Mami told me that he had died, that he was never coming home. I didn't believe her, so I sat by his locked door, waiting for him to come home and play the piano with me.

But he never did.

Things changed a lot around the house too. Mami started working more and Alexia also started playing more football. Often, it was Alba and me alone at home.

I would sit by the office door, Alba would lie on the sofa, staring at the tv. I don't think she was really paying attention to what was happening because, like Ale and Mami, Alba has not really been doing much at all since Papi left.

But now he has been gone for ages. A long time.

A time that has been so long that I find myself believing Mami. Papi will never come back from heaven.

They say that heaven is a good place, where everyone is happy and everyone gets what they want.

But Papi is in heaven without me. Does that mean he is happy without me? He doesn't want me any more?

The thought crosses my mind over and over, day after day. But I do not tell Mami, because she misses Papi too. I don't want her to think that Papi doesn't want her anymore.

Because why else would he stay there without us.

Alexia cries when I tell her my suspicions. I am sat in the back of her car as she drives me to her training after kindergarten, but she pulls over when the words spill out during my long ramble about my day.

I had been telling her all about the arts and crafts that we had been doing, what I ate for lunch and how I couldn't sleep at nap time. She asked me why, and I told her that it was because my brain was moving too much and I couldn't get the wriggly creatures out and get to sleep.

"What were you thinking about that was so wriggly, pequena?"

She had glanced at me through the rear view mirror, so I could see her frown. I saw it deepen as I explained the reason and watched her indicate and pull over to the side of the road.

She was quick to get into the back seat with me, easily pulling me into her arms and allowing her fat tear drops to fall onto my head.

"That is not true, Elena. Heaven is not a place people want to go to. They only go when they have no choice. Because if Papi had the choice, he would be at home with us. At home where he belongs, teaching you to play the piano, giving you cuddles and kisses, giving you baths, feeding you dinner, singing you to sleep. He is not happy without us, without you, but he is always up there, watching us and making sure we are all happy, making sure that we are all ok."

That was the moment that I realised what death meant, and that was the moment that I started to cry.

"Papi is gone forever? He can not come home, Mami said. But why, Alexia? Why can't he come home?"

Her arms tightened around me and she exhaled quietly before speaking.

"He was sick, p, very sick. His body couldn't handle the sickness and one day it stopped working. You can't live without a working body, so he went to heaven. He died, Elena, and we can't do anything to bring him back."

I didn't have a response for that. All I could do was cry, sobbing into my sisters arms in the back seat of her car on the side of the main road.

Her keys were still in the ignition, the engine still running as my body wracked with sobs, apparently contagious as Alexia dissolved into quieter cries into my hair.

I think I fell asleep there, because the next thing I knew, Alexia was carrying me into the house.

My eyes stung and my face felt dry, but as soon as we walked inside the house, I knew where Ale was taking me.

The chestnut door had not been unlocked in months, but I remember that the key was kept in the top draw of the shelf in the lounge. I couldn't reach the draw, but I grabbed the key as soon as it was in Alexia's hand, reaching down from where I was balanced on her hip as she walked silently down the hallway.

I could feel her breath catch when the door opened and my own stomach filled with butterflies as she sat down on the piano stall, sitting me right in her lap.

"Do you want to play your song?"

I shook my head. It didn't feel right playing without Papi beside me. His study felt haunted, almost, like he should be right behind me, ready to scoop me us and cover me in kisses once I finished my song.

But deep inside of me I knew he would not be there, yet it would be impossible to prepare myself for the disappointment that I would feel when he wasn't there.

So I curled up into my older sister who easily wrapped her arms around my trembling form, planting a soft kiss on my hair.

"Papi loves you so much, Elena. So, so much. He will always be up there looking out for you and I will help him out by being the one to look after you down here. I will always love every bit of you because you are my best friend, pequena."

I had nodded, responding meekly.

"You are my best friend too, Ale. I love you as well."

I fell asleep in her lap again, but the next time I woke up, it was beside her in her bed.

And I was comfortable, because my sister means everything to me.

She is the person who will be there for me forever.

~~~~~~

I was angry for the next few weeks, despondent when Mapi or Aitana tried to get anything out of me.

But they had gone over me and decided that even though I didn't want to, they would call Alba to at least let her know that I wasn't ok.

I had listened to them on speaker phone to each other from the other room, although I didn't want anyone to realise how much I actually cared. How nervous I was of rejection, of Alba not caring.

But to say she cared was an understatement.

"What do you mean, 'she's not doing well?'" Alba's voice was frustrated, that much was clear. "Is it because of Alexia? The pressure in the first team? She promised she would tell me if she needed me."

It was Mapi who responded, knowing Alba better than Aitana.

"It's everything, Alba. It is obvious when you see it, so we've been looking after her for the past two months."

"Why didn't you call me earlier? I would have been there immediately!"

She was frustrated by them, but I dread her reaction when she is told why they didn't call her earlier. Because it, like many problems in my life, is all my fault, a decision that I made. A decision that Mapi and Aitana did not agree with.

But when Aitana responded, she did not say what I expected her to.

"We didn't realise how bad it was. But she does need you, Alba, please come at some point."

"I am in the car, driving now. Where are you?"

She was clearly annoyed, her voice was very telling.

"We are at mine." Mapi's voice was soft, and I could hear her sigh as Alba hung up.

I sat back down quickly as they returned to the lounge room, not noticing Ingrid's eyes on me from where she was in the kitchen.

"Alba is coming now." Mapi spoke softly, sitting down on the sofa, leaving a large distance between us.

"I am going to go home now." I looked at Aitana as she spoke and nodded. She waved to Mapi and Ingrid, grabbing her bag and heading out.

Alba arrived not long after, practically storming inside, concern etched into her frown.

"Elena." She gasped softly, sitting herself down right beside me and wrapping one arm around me.

"Elena, what has happened?"

I shrug nonchalantly, not volunteering any information. I watched as Mapi cowered under Alba's strong glance, apparently not sure what she should say.

Ingrid was calm as she entered, however, placing a cup of coffee in front of Alba and then her girlfriend.

"Elena has been staying here for a while, some nights she's been with Aitana."

"Have you been sleeping? You look tired. You are also pale, Elena. Why didn't you tell me? Even if Maria and Aitana didn't think it was necessary, why didn't you say something when we were on the phone?"

Alba studies me closely, stress evident in her voice.

It reinforces my decision to not tell her anything until I am ok again, because now she will be everywhere.

I can't live with her because she lives far from the training ground and doesn't have the time to take me to training, but she will be everywhere else.

There is another uncomfortable silence, broken again by Ingrid.

"She didn't want to be a burden on you. She kept saying how you have your own life and you shouldn't have to look after her."

Alba just shakes her head, her arm securing around my waist and facing me more directly.

"You were wrong, Elena! I am your older sister. Just because Ale and you are not getting on does not mean you ice me out as well."

My face remains blank as she reprimands me, barely registering her words.

"Are you even listening to me? Elena! Please, just let me in."

Her voice breaks and Ingrid looks at Mapi, nodding out of the room. They exit and Alba seems glad to have some privacy.

"Why have you not been staying with Mami?"

"Not my choice."

I am embarrassed about how weak my voice is, but I can't muster any more strength.

All of my strength is used up at training, ensuring I am improving, proving my worth. I have to be good enough to stay there.

It is when I get home that things fall apart, so tired, so emotional. It is easier to be emotionless than emotional.

"Was it lonely at home, when Mami was working?"

I nod.

"And when did you start staying with Maria and Aitana?"

I shrug.

"Couple months ago. Soon after the first game. I told Mapi that I felt confused and lonely so she said I would stay with her."

Alba nods, frowning softly. When she speaks again, her voice is soft.

"I wish you would have told me. I am sorry for not noticing. It's still bad with Ale?"

I can't blame her for not knowing, she said months ago that she was going to stay out of our drama.

"We barely look at each other. It hurts, everything... hurts."

I don't cry because I don't think there are any tears left in me.

"And I don't know what to do because she was always the one I went to when I was feeling confused or when I needed things to make sense. You would cheer me up, but she would clear things up."

She nods, looking at me intently, clearly listening.

"And now I can't talk to her and nothing makes sense anymore. I don't understand anything and I just feel so... full. Like I could just burst at any moment but I'm not going to because I don't think I would deal with that very well. And I can't sleep at night because my thoughts won't stop. It's like as soon as I rest my head on the pillow they just start going and I can't stop them and I can't clear them out because-"

She interrupts me.

"Because Alexia was the one who used to get rid of the wriggly thoughts, no?"

I nod and lean my head on her shoulder.

"Have you played the piano much in the past few weeks?"

She knows that it was my way of releasing my emotions.

I haven't, so I shake my head.

"We will change that, ok? I am going to take you home for the afternoon and we'll get some of your clothes, some things you want from home because I do think it is good that you are here with Ingrid and Mapi. And you can play your piano. It'll make you feel better, I'm sure."

I nod, standing up from the sofa and walking out onto the balcony to where Ingrid and Mapi are waiting.

"Alba is taking me home." I probably should have given some more explanation, because Mapi seems confused.

"Her house is too far from here, you can't stay there, Elena."

I nod.

"She's not taking me to hers, she's taking me to my house for the afternoon. I want to play my piano and I need some of my own stuff anyway."

The Spaniard seems to understand. She nods, standing up and pulling me into a hug.

"Call me if you need anything at all."

I nod, rolling my eyes in amusement. She is too good to me. I tap her head when she releases me from the hug and she laughs, moving to sit back down with Ingrid.

"You haven't used it because it's not great, but you can use my keyboard in the study whenever you want."

"Thanks, Ingrid."

~~~~~~

It was weird walking into my bedroom after such a long time not being here. Alba helped me pack clothes into suitcases, telling me over and over that this was all ok, that everything would be ok.

I think she was mainly trying to reassure herself; Alba has always been most effected by anything that breaks our once strong family unity.

But I am only 15. Almost 16 now, but I shouldn't be by myself every night.

Because they were right, I wasn't feeding myself, I wasn't taking care of myself. It wasn't good and it wasn't healthy.

And I will never forget the kindness that both Mapi and Aitana have shown me, stepping in like sisters when Alexia wasn't there like she should have been.

I think about them as I play my piano, my fingers easily falling back into rhythms that are like second nature.

I feel my tense body relaxing as the song flows on, transitioning between fast and slow, loud and soft. My head spins with thought, but the tears do not fall.

Despite the emotions raging inside of me, my face remains stoic, focused only on the intricate patterns my fingers are creating as they hit the keys so hard that there is a slight ache in my hands. My song is full of my emotions, yet it feels like they barely skim the surface of the raging ocean inside of me.

The ocean that keeps producing waves that crash and fall at any chance they can get, usually quelled by the piano, by the rhythms that hold the meanings and secrets of my life. The notes that have written who I am and what I stand for.

But today they do not stop, they barely even slow down and the lack of the release I am hungry for leaves me unsatisfied. The song doesn't explode as usual, instead slowing down to a anticlimactic ending, my hands recoiling from the keys as I frown down at my hands.

Because why is this happening?

The piano is supposed to make me feel better, but all it has done is make me feel more confused, more worried about everything happening outside.

And I feel betrayed. Betrayed by the piano, but betrayed by my father.

Because the piano connects me to him, and I always thought that as long as I could play the piano, he would be there watching me, guiding me. My connection with him is why the piano means so much to me; it is why I can release everything into the music and calm whatever negativity I may be feeling.

But today it feels like he is not here. And as my eyes rest on the picture above the piano, all I feel is disappointment.

Alexia told me that he would be there to watch me from above and she would be there to love me from where she would always be right next to me.

And I knew that if I had them everything would be ok.

But now... Now I have neither and my whole world is going to slowly fall apart. Piece by piece until there is nothing left but me and those stupid emotions that I can't stop thinking about.

The stupid emotions that I have begun to detest.

The stupid emotions that have ruined my life.

Apparently, I have a never ending supply of tears, because they begin to fall again, my arm slamming on the keys with a sob.

I always thought I would have my father there in my piano, that I could rely on the simple instrument for that love that I so deeply desired. And he has never once failed me. Not when I needed him, not when I wanted him. He was even there when I just wanted to play, to learn, to perform.

But right now, when I need him the most, he decides he won't be there.

And it must be my fault.

For the first time in months, I feel completely empty, void of any of the emotions that have consumed me for so long.

The air becomes blurry as I cry, my mind hazy and my senses obscured.

I don't know what is happening to me, but I can feel myself slipping away as my senses disintegrate into nothing.

I think I have broken myself. Because everything is all so confusing, things rushing through my mind and out so quickly that it feels like everything is falling out of me.

Maybe the tsunami wave has grown big enough that it is ready to crash. Maybe it is already crashing, washing away everything in it's path.

But I don't know if I dislike it, because for the first time in a long time, I feel peace. I don't feel so confused anymore because there is nothing left to be confused about.

It is just me, none of those emotions that sent me into constant overdrive, exhausting me but simultaneously preventing me from resting.

None of the emotions that I used to feel coming back to haunt me, no memories of what my life once was there to mock me, a heartbreaking illustration of everything I have lost.

It's all gone.

Everything has slipped away from me and I am finally calm.

It's just me, my piano and my tears.

So I close my eyes softly, my body folding over onto the piano as my sobs soften to quiet cries. A broken chord rings through my room as my head falls onto the keys and I allow myself to just sit there.

Just me, my piano and my tears.

My door opens, but I can't hear the voices that enter my room, or the footsteps that move towards me.

I don't register the bodies that sit on either side of me on the piano stall, or the worried words that escape from their mouths.

It all sounds like a distant murmur. My skin is numb to any contact.

I don't even register Alba grabbing my face and lifting it to stare into my tear-filled eyes. I don't register the soft slap she leaves on it and there is no way for me to notice the terror that is painted all over her face, even evident in her posture.

But another pair of arms wraps around me and everything comes crashing down.

Because they are arms that I will never not recognise. A hold that is tight enough to comfort me, tight enough to make sure I can't escape, but not too tight to choke me or make me feel trapped.

I used to say that Alexia's arms had some sort of magical powers, their innate ability to calm me down and set me straight was an ability that nobody else possessed.

And Alexia was right there, right next to me. A tear stained face that likely matched mine, her voice shaky and worried as she whispered my name over and over again, her tears falling onto my head.

But Alexia was right there, and everything that she has done came flooding back to me, so quickly that I didn't even have time to register it before her touch burned me, my body instinctively recoiling and standing up.

"No..." my voice was a raspy whisper but could be heard loud and clear by both my sisters.

"No, Alexia. No!"

I stepped out of the hold that both the piano stool and my sisters had on me, backing up to where my bags were, picking them up and fleeing the room.

Because I can't deal with this.

I can't deal with the tears that stain Alexia's face, the terror that was clear on Alba's.

Because this all is my fault.

And there is nothing I can do at this point to fix everything I have ruined.

~~~~~~

hope you enjoyed :)

part VII

[marleemutt]

TLDR: im a black trans artist who can use some help right now following the sudden passing of my only sister - her doberman is now the responsibility of my parents and we can use help for his food, supplements, toys etc.

Kofi (help me send Chewy orders to my parent's house)

Wishlist (literally send him things like toys, treats, etc.)

⬇️ more info ⬇️

hey guys

some of you might be aware of this already, but early October, my eldest sibling & only sister suddenly passed away due to a seizure, she had been dealing with epilepsy her whole life.

this has been incredibly difficult for me, and my family. her passing was incredibly sudden, she was only 30.

for the past month or so ive been struggling to find any motivation to draw, and barely able to work.

she was the incredibly devoted owner of a doberman named Remi(Ramsey). Me and my sister traveled 4 hours to pick him up three years ago. He's a goofball who tears up socks and needs constant supervision. My parents love him, but I can tell he is a lot of work for two people who have fulltime jobs and have lived long lives.

I'm going to try to help them take care of him as much as possible, I feel that it's the least we can do to honor my sister's memory, since she loved him so deeply.

My sister always wanted a doberman, for years she would watch videos about dobermans and talk about them to anyone who would listen.

Remi wasn't easy to raise - I shared a room with my sister when she got him in 2020, she still worked a 9-5, five days a week, so I was his nanny for most of his difficult childhood. I was his chew toy for the first year of his life about - but that only made him bond closer to me. If he wasn't following my sister, I was choice #2. Dobermans are "velcro dogs", they were bred to guard their owners, and because of this, they are fiercely loyal. I've been moved out of my parent's place for going on 3 years, and my sister had just moved with Remi out a few months prior to her passing.

A week before my sister's sudden passing, we had to board Remi at my dog daycare job while my family and I took a trip out of state. When dropping him off, although he was happy to see me again for the first time in months, the moment my sister turned her back to him he began to panic. He got through the boarding all right but my coworkers told me he would cry and wait by the door for me or her. When my sister picked him up, they said he jumped all 80+lbs into her arms.

Since my sister's passing, Remi has been directionless. He's with my family, people he trusts, but he's bored, confused, and heartbroken. My sister would often take him to the dog park, social events, on runs, etc. but my parent's can't do that in their age. If my apartment allowed large dogs, I would take him, but I can't, and I see him maybe twice a month if possible.

Ramsey's Christmas List

I made a christmas list for him of things that might help my parents better take care of him. We're trying different food brands out because he struggles with frequent stomach issues, and we can't seem to figure out what food my sister was feeding him. This list is by no means a necessity for him, but I tried to add things to help with his boredom and keep him stimulated when my parents can't give him all their attention.

i do want to state that my family is capable of providing him with the essentials to live, we arent irresponsible. i would just like to help my parents out since a 3 year old 80-90lb doberman is a lot of work to be suddenly placed on them soley. And I worry for his health and well-being sometimes - Remi has a tendency to eat/tear random objects when he's bored.

please consider donating whatever you can. Everything goes directly to him.

thank you for taking the time to read this, and possibly reblog if possible. ❤️

[stitchwraith-stingers]

sorry for never shutting up about how people treat hazel but ohh my god shes my fave character atm.... i get to be mad!! she has good enough information that you can play around with headcanons freely

the only moments people wouldve brung up is when dev is in the episode, there was no reason for the episode that showed her tendancy to overthink and be emberassed over small mistakes by wishing a do-over and over again, having to realise that running away from the idea of creating a problem wont help her in the long run JUST so people could go "omg haha dev has a crush on her" i could litterly not tell you what the general concensious on most episodes are because i dont know peoples opinions on them because in general they dont discuss them beyond his scenes

fanart too, ive personally muted the dev and devzel tag and when i look up #hazel wells i want you to guess how many posts i find that arent hidden! spoiler alert its barely any of them, listen im not saying im shocked at the fact The Characters Made As A Duo are drawn as a duo, its whatever and while im not personally a fan in general i really do get the appeal, but you have to admit that at some point it gets really suspicious when the only fanart you can find in one character is only with the more popular one, over 200 fics in the hazel tag on ao3 and theres only 20! without the dev tag! (10 more then when i last checked, crazy! go read fly bird, fly now), and my main problem is is that hazel is shown to be her own person OUTSIDE of their friendship, infact wouldnt you know it shes the protagonist herself! the fact that most aus ive seen are focused on dev/dale/peri is whats most confusing to me, "oh but theyre so interesting to work with"

really! youre telling me you cant think of a fic / au idea on her own? miss "i was going to have a previous godparent who didnt listen to me at all", miss "i am very anxious and i overthink to the point where my desicions", miss "i had an encounter with my evil shadow self when i was a fairy" (shout out to fairy bound au btw, im a big fan), miss "my mom doesnt fully know how to handle children inspite of being a therapist and tells me im handling things mature so i feel like i should be", miss "with the fact that im terrified my friends are making fun of me behind my back, i didnt know how to talk to anyone and a cafetiria made me so overworried and i speak to my rocks could imply the fact that i was outcasted at a young age", miss "my brother who has been my anchor and i has taught me everything i need to know has left me and hes also struggling to adjust to everything and we were insanely close to the point where the reason this whole thing started is because of him", miss "i regularly help my dad hunt a ghost that doesnt exist but it makes him happy", miss "i am litterly friends with the coolest kid in elementary school", miss "my landlords are litterly doomsday preppers and our parents want me to get along with their werido twins", miss "i didnt even hestitate to kill myself if i had to save potatoes for humanity after i pissed off mother nature", miss 'i got called out on projecting my past bonding expiriences on my best friend by some werid demon posessing her body right infront of me' none of that makes you want to think of something about her on her own? not even a spark of an idea? its almost like you guys watched exclusively 6 episodes and watched 5 minutes out of them at most

hazel is very interesting and shows her own struggles, she likes puns and fries and rocks and anime and horror movies (and apparently mushrooms if you count that one scene), she tries to problem solve so that no one is unhappy (patty being alive so winn wasnt upset, trying to get the band and orchestra together, accidently haunting her house and wishing her dads day was extra special, trying to find a dinosaur she spontaniously teleported his own job), she has multiple episodes showing her insecurities and how she tries to hide it so she doesnt look like a bad person, but inspite of it all is a understanding person and a peacemaker and doesnt like arguments, hell shes even such good autism represntation im 99.9% sure it wasnt intentional at all

dont even get me started on the takes ive seen in the finale, listen the finale has alot to be said and it definatly wont be everyones cup of tea (i think them trying to refrence every episode felt so chaotic personally) but regarding people with the ending is still giving me a headache, "she shouldve used her wish on him" that wouldve been so boring and predicable, say what you want on what she actually used it for but i think you guys should realise that for the kid whos regressing back into his bad copium mechanisms should get to face his concequences, 'hes 10 and neglected so thats why he acted like that' and 'she doesnt need to put up with how he treats her and hold his hand and be his personal therapist' can both coexist, people being pissed that she lightheartly agreed that he fucked up when HE admitted it is crazyyy CRAZYYY (also the fact ive seen someone say 'her moms a therapist she shouldve known' ???)

this isnt even touching on "hazels other relationships like her friends and family arent developed enough so thats why ppl dont care that much" while that is a valid critism i have with the show in general i still dont think applys to what im specifically talking about to demonstrate dale has appeared in THREE episodes (four if you want to stretch it), meanwhile hazels parents have appeared more often and im barely seeing them in fanart "but dale has a backstory!" so do those two have a whole episode explaining how they met "b-but dale is interesting as a role as a villain!" the guy is barely a villain [so far atleast], but also is being a therapist and a parascienists already not an interesting enough? are you guys suddenly not able to make as much headcanons expanding apon them as you did with dale? thats the thing that confuses me the most, whats stopping you from giving random information from your head to anyone else?, (i didnt know how to word this point so hopefully this makes sense)

listen im going to say it right now MOST OF THIS IS DEFINATLY UNINTENTIONAL AND NOT EVERYONE IS DOING THIS ON PURPOSE but some of u guys might really need to uncover some biases on why you think the black girl should coddle the rich white boy when he wasnt treating her well at the time, if that makes sense

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

Nimona headcanons cause I love this chaotic little family

I’ve seen a lot of people say Ambrosius is a morning person and Bal is a night owl 

And I have to respectfully disagree 

Will Bal pull some all-nighters in the lab? Absolutely 

But this man is the most early bird coded character I’ve ever seen in my entire life 

When he isn't fully invested in a project he can't stay up past 10 pm

He wakes up at 6 am refreshed and barely needs caffeine 

I’ve also seen a lot of people say he’s a dedicated coffee drinker but something about this man screams “Coffee gives me migraines” 

Ambrosius on the other hand 

That’s an insomniac if I’ve ever seen one 

He’ll get ready for bed around 9 and then stay up til 3 in the morning

Poor babe needs coffee in an IV

He used to wake up really early back in the institute cause he was forced to run a mile every minute he was late to class 

And he’s a heavy sleeper so after the wall came down and he quit being a knight he wouldn't wake up before 1 pm even with Bals help 

And Nimona is just as bad 

Most nights Ambrosius will leave the room because he moves a lot when he can’t sleep and Bal is a light sleeper 

He’ll sit in the living room watching tv while trying to sleep and most of the time Nimona will join him 

Every once and a while Bal will find them laying on top of each other on the couch and will take them back to their respective beds 

And if you’re wondering what their favorite show to watch together is it’s those house-flipping shows 

But not for the reason you think

Most people watch those shows cause they think it’s inspiring 

Ambrosius and Nimona talk about how terrible these people are at their jobs  

They’ll go on hour-long rants about how these people are stripping the houses of everything that made them a home

(Ambrosius is a sentimental bitch and would be a maximalist after leaving the institute prove me wrong)

When Nimona is bored she’ll go into the city disguised as Bal or Ambrosius 

And she’ll fool literally everyone it’s a pretty common occurrence for the boys to be at home and then they hear the other swearing like a damn sailor because there are already news articles about it

The only people she can’t fool are Bal and Ambrosius 

Bal will shut them down almost immediately 

They’ll walk over to Bal and won’t even get a word out before Bal says “Shift back Nim you’re freaking me out”

They always make a big deal out of being caught making big decorations like “I’m getting better and one day I’ll fool you” 

And he’ll hum in agreement but he knows that it doesn’t matter how good he gets or how observant he is he’ll be able to fully copy every little detail 

The details that Bal has spent the past decade and a half remembering  

You know the little things like how he can’t say Bal or Nimona’s names without smiling even when he’s pissed

Or how he scrunches his nose when he laughs 

Ambrosius always acts like Nimona tricked him

He’ll let them get comfortable in the character and then he’ll drop the bomb 

Something small and inconspicuous like “Hey Nim do you want pizza for dinner?” and they’ll excitedly proclaim “Hell yeah pizza!” 

It takes them a second to realize they’ve been played and when they do they never make a big deal about it

They normally just mumble a curse or two and walk away with their tail between their legs (literally)

The first time Nimona tried to trick Ambrosius was when he was having one of those days 

You know the days when even breathing feels like a fucking battle

This was in a really awkward period too

Like right after Nimona and Ambrosius started trusting each other but right before they really started to get to know each other 

But she knew the boys well enough to know if Bal came home to a sad Ambrosius then he’d be in a bad mood for the rest of the day 

And she knows that the only thing that can cure a mopey Ambrosius is Bal 

She walked into the room and started talking to Ambrosius and was kind of surprised and a little bit peeved about how well she was fooling him

Until he said “You can drop the act Nim I know it’s you” 

They kind of just sat in that silence for a minute until Nimona said the first thing that came to her mind 

“You want me to find my sax?” 

Bal shouldn’t have been surprised to find Nimona disguised as him serenading Ambrosius with the worst freestyle jazz he’s ever heard (which is saying something)

He didn’t even say anything he just sat down and cuddled the love of his life while watching their kid try and play the sax while breakdancing

[onmyknees4loak]

Teach me

Lo'ak x Reader

Warnings: (Lowkey stalker and sub lo'ak) Synopsis : (Lo'ak cant seem to take his eyes off of the girl who teaches his nephew.)

Playlist I listened to while making this

Reader's POV

"Good job muffin!!" Pxe'pe one of my youngest students finally gets her threading right. She runs off to show her mother.

I'm what Jake calls a babysitter but I like to think of myself as a teacher I mean that is what I do, people leave there kids with me while they attend to there duties and I teach them things like threading, scavenging, and even healing.

"miss miss miss" i hear a small voice from behind me and feel small hands on my leg, i turn around to be met with Kame'xar, one of my little ones.

"yes what do you need sweetie" i crouch down to be at his level

"i cut my finger" a little sob comes out as he holds his hand up, i see a small bright red cut nothing to serious but still it must hurt.

"oh no sweetie come on lets go fix that up for you" i extend my arms and pick him up, i start heading to the healing tent. i look down at his finger and as im looking away from in front of me i bump into a tall stiff figure. "Oh my eywa! I am so sorry" the figure turns around, i began to panic even more. The figure is Kame'xar's uncle.

"oh my goodness Lo'ak I apologize" i say hoping he wont notice the cut on his nephew's hand.

"oh no worries ...." he pauses trying to remember my name.

"y/n my name is y/n" i tell him.

"y/n... That's a beautiful name....Oh my god Kame'xar i didn't even notice you what's up bro, have you been crying what happened?"

He looks at me wondering what happened to his nephew,

"he cut his finger we were on the way to the healing tent to fix him up."

"oh well please let me walk you there its the least i can do" Lo'ak insists.

"I mean it is only right there but sure" we began walking to the tent which is already in sight.

Once we walk into the tent i set Kame'xar down on the floor and lower to my knees to grab the healing paste. I take his hand and gently rub the paste over his cut.

Kame'xar giggles "its c-cold!" he says in a fit of giggles.

"it is isn't it" i say laughing with him.

I can feel Lo'aks watching my every move. I stand up and turn around to Lo'ak.

"Well i should be getting Kame'xar back now." I feel Kame'xar put his now healed hand in mine and start pulling me to the opening of the tent.

"Thank you y/n, bye Kame'xar ill see you at dinner" lo'ak says waiting for us to leave.

"Bye" me and Kame'xar say at the same time.

As were walking I can't help but to keep thinking about Lo'ak everyone says he,s a bad influence and all he does is get in trouble but he seems so sweet and caring- ok y/n snap out of it he didn't even know your name and you got more important things to worry about.

Lo'ak's POV

'y/n.....y/n how have i never seen her around surly i would have noticed someone that beautiful. She's so different there's just something soothing and pleasant about her.

I walk out of the healing tent and start heading to our family tent,

Oh eywa i can't get that beautiful women out of my head. I need to see her again. I change my direction and start heading to where i know neteyam drops Kame'xar off every day. As i get closer i can hear the sound of children laughing getting louder, shes so good with kids. I hope to make her laugh like that one day.

I see my girl with kids running around her, there playing a game. I keep my distance and sit on a log where others are sitting and eating fruit.

I just sit there and watch her teach and play with the kids for hours. I turn away any time she looks in my direction hoping she doesn't realize that ive been sitting here for hours.

She would never want a guy like me an outcast.

Reader's POV

I finish putting up all the kids threading projects keeping them safe for tomorrow.

"Good Bye Vaylen! I'll see you tomorrow" now all the kids have gone home for the night, and i can start heading home. i turn around to start walking in the direction of my tent when i see Lo'ak sitting looking at me when he realizes I'm looking at him he turns his head the other way. Now that i think about it he has been sitting there since i got back from the healing tent.

'Should i go talk to him?' i ask myself 'I should.'

I start walking over to him with a smile on my face, he notices me coming over and i can see his body tense up.

"Hey Lo'ak what are you doing here?" i come to a stop in front of him.

"Oh i w-was ju-just uh chillin yk" he stutters over his words.

'my god, he's so cute, i want him stuttering over his words while i ride him' omg! what the fuck is wrong with me why would i think that.

I think he could tell i just got surprised with myself.

'y/n? Are you okay?" he asks as he stands up getting closer to me.

I can feel the tension in the air as his face is suddenly a few inches from mine.

"Yeah im good" i see his eyes move down to my lips as he licks his own.

He leans in intel our lips meet and he begins kissing me, i kiss back and start getting a little more aggressive i bring my hand to the back of his head and put my fingers through his hair lightly pulling.

"mMm" Lo'ak lets out a whimper/moan.

I pull away and bring my hand down " i cant do this Lo'ak im sorry" i look down to my feet.

"Why not baby?" he asks pushing hair behind my ear.

"What would people think if they found out, im not trying to be mean but your kinda know as a bad boy yk, and i dont want people to not trust me with there kids im sorry"

I turn around to leave and i feel him grab my hand and pull me back.

"Then Teach me, teach me how to be a good boy"

[prettypinktulips]

Do you write for Thomas Hewitt? If yes can I have please Thomas Hewitt with male reader who works at a chainsaw store? Poor Tommy broke his chainsaw (mf is strong as fuck so he probably would) and Hoyt forced him to go alone to buy one, poor boy was so anxious and awkward but he saw a handsome man (male reader) and it's some love at first sight type shit.

The rest is up to you 👬

YES I LOVE TOM TOM ! THANK U SO MUCH FOR REQUEWSTSIGN ( the first fanfic ive written so no hate plz) Thomas swallowed hard as he looked up at the big scintillating sign in front of him. "CHAINSAW HOTSPOT", One of the "O's" were out, the flickering was hurting his eyes a little bit. He looked back forward and brought himself inside as he looked around, it was nothing like he expected. The place was really extensive despite of the small exterior. I wish he wouldn't have made me go by myself, he knows how bad I am with people. Thomas felt himself get rather excited when he started to notice all of the different selections of chainsaws there were. "You looking for something, handsome?" Y/N said with a soft smile and brought his fist to his cheek. Thomas gasped at the voice being spoken to him, he felt his heart skip a bit as he brought his attention towards Y/N. "Those chainsaws might be a little small for you.. you look like a big man." His e/c eyes shifted over to a different aisle as he raised his arm and pointed towards it. Thomas looked around for anyone behind him and then back at Y/N, he brought his hand up as he pointed towards himself. "Well, yes of course you! Who else would I be talking to?" Thomas got embarrassed as well as a bit flattered. Nobody has ever called him handsome, well except his mother.. which well was his mother why wouldn't she.

A quiet "Hm." fell past his lips, seems like it was the only thing that could come out. Thomas nodded and walked into the aisle where Y/N was pointing at, and he was right the chainsaws here were HUGE. Just the way he liked them. "What a strange fellow." Y/N mumbled off to himself and tilted his head back a little to keep his eyes on the brute, he crossed his arms. "Would you like me to help you find one?" Y/N stood up and headed over towards the black-haired male.

"I.." Thomas looked at the (shorter/taller) male in front of him and got flustered. Well now that Y/N was already in front of him there's no telling him to leave now. "Let's see what we got here.." Y/N slowly dropped down onto his knees and picked up one of the boxes, he rested it on his knees as he started to open it. "Here, try this one out for show," Thomas was a little nervous and held the chainsaw close, he stood back a bit and grabbed the wire as he yanked on it. The chainsaw had a little malfunction but that's why Thomas immediately fell in love with it, a smile crept across his lips. Nobody else could see it since he had his mask on.

But Y/N could tell by the way his eyes reacted. "So this one is taking to your liking?" Thomas jolted as if he forgotten the h/c haired man below him. Y/N started to stand up and looked (down/up) at the male. "You know, you're quite quiet. I don't mind it though, makes my job easier." Thomas felt relieved as he nodded to Y/N's previous question. "Alright, let's get you set up then." He followed behind Y/N to the counter and watched as the h/c haired male got behind the register. His eyes devoured the males looks, Thomas didn't know he was doing it.. it wasn't intentional. "See something you like?" Y/N said abruptly and it snapped Thomas back to reality.

"I..I wasn't.. trying to." Thomas looked down at himself felt ashamed, he tried to think of things so he could change the subject. This was so fucking embarrassing to the point it made him spill out a whole sentence. Y/N felt a little bad and gently laid a hand on Thomas' cheek, it immediately calmed him down. He didn't know why but it did. "At least take me out on a date first or precisely tell me your name!" Y/N teased. Thomas tensed up a bit as his face devolved into a bright red. He's never went a date because of his deformities. That's right, Y/N didn't know about them because he's been wearing the mask. He didn't know about the hideous figure underneath the mask. That's probably the only reason he was talking to him this way, because his face was hidden.

"Hm." Thomas brought his hand up to his mask and brought it down a bit, he looked to the side and then (up/down) at the male in front of him, expecting to get yelled at or even tyrannized like in the past. But all he saw was a smiling Y/N. "Your face is still a treasure to me, I wish you would've shown me sooner!" Y/N caressed some of the scars. It was final, Thomas has officially swooned over for Y/N. How could a man be this perfect? He doesn't care if they just met, he's really considering this dating thing after all. "C..Chainsaw.." He mumbled. Y/N had completely forgotten as he hurried to move his hand away.

"Sorry, let me get that for you." Y/N looked to the side at the counter and grabbed the chainsaw, he turned the box over and scanned the barcode. He smiled softly. "You know what, don't even worry about it. I'll pay for it." Thomas had a questioned look on his face. "Why..?" Y/N just giggled and took out his card, he swiped it on the swipey thing (idk what its called) and paid for it. "Our date should be enough to pay me back. Reminds me, you never told me your name, stranger!" Thomas felt himself going back to that awkward phase again. "It's.. Thomas." Y/N nodded and smiled. "I'm Y/N, nice to meet you." He handed the chainsaw to him. Thomas just stared at the chainsaw, he was beaming with happiness.

~~

(short story)

THE DATE. Thomas was well over nervous. Even nervous seemed like a too simple term to describe what he was feeling. All they were doing was going to the movies which he had to beg Y/N to do since he was already too nervous showing his face at a restaurant. He sat outside playing with the waistband of his jeans. All Y/N said was to wear something casual, but Thomas couldn't do that. Y/N didn't deserve casual. He decided he was going to wear the top of a suit and then jeans. The suit pants made him too uncomfortable, too busy in his own thoughts he hadn't noticed Y/N in front of him.

"Well, don't you look handsome?" Y/N smiled and laid a hand on the tie, he looked (up/down) at the black haired male. "You know you didn't have to go all out for me.. But I appreciate it." Y/N looked down at his watch for the time. Thomas felt his heart pounding out of his chest, it didn't matter if Y/N was wearing just a casual outfit he looked astounding. Even if he was just wearing a trash bag he could still make it look stylish. That's what Thomas thought anyways. They headed inside the theater. "It's really pretty in here.." Y/N looked to the side at the male and then noticed the mask, he frowned slightly. "It must've been really dark outside! I didn't know you were wearing your mask, Thomas.

"I.. just didn't.. want to embarrass you." Thomas hurried to look away, Y/N just giggled. "Embarrass me? What in God's name are you talking about?" Y/N brought them over to a dark corner and laid a hand on the mask, he pulled it off. "See, look at this pretty face of yours." Y/N leaned in a little as he laid his hand on the brute's cheek. "I would never be embarrassed of you, okay? You can't control your deformities, it's not your fault." Thomas was just about to speak when Y/N gave him a soft kiss on the lips. He was dumbfounded. He hesitated a little but eventually kissed the h/c haired guy back. This was the best night ever for him.

[ruin--eclipse]

About me

Most of my time:spent on Roblox with my friends/drawing and watching stuff about Undertale

Pronouns: any /gender fluid lol my fam and friends use she/her

what i do every day(or what I post about): fan art of ppl like shundertale/se-sans and my au etc. , I draw every day bc it’s the only thing I’m good at other than sitting and being lazy like Sans the Skeleton XD

I love undertale as you can see above lol, I love the amazing aus that ppl create!

This is pretty long so go under the cut for more!

my bday-October 21

-**I AM A MINOR**-

My art style: what art style?!?!? It always changes!!!! Ghshdhzhgzusjdgatiakjb

I get art block often so you all can suggest any art things I can draw! I draw almost 24/7. If im not doing that then im watching vids or playing with my friends

Tags I'll commonly use:

My au/Soulswap: #soulswap OR #my au

free comissions - #free comissions

For me just playing/messing with people stuff - #SillyEclipse

my fandoms: UNDERTALE, UNDERTALE AU, FNAF, OBJECT SHOWS, and you can try to get me into other fandoms if you want

Past fandoms: lunar and earth show, sun and moon show, httyd, pokemon.

you guys can suggest art if you want, I dont want the creators to be uncomfortable so no ships/NSFW allowed.

However if you want ships go to my other blog: @ruinartsblog

I dont really post there often. (No nsfw is there bc i want it to be kid friendly)

-SOULSWAP- (MY AU)

PAPYRUS: ASKS OPEN

SANS: ASKS OPEN

-TRUST!

how to gain trust:

dont pressure the monsters or make them uncomfortable..

Be nice to them

Dont lie

--hoping to be able to make a comic soon!, writing the story when i'm not playing with my friendos or drawing--

Designs ive finished: Sans, Papyrus, Frisk, Alphys, Toriel, and Undyne.

Papyrus: a lil kid! has a scarf because of how cold snowdin is. He doesnt really do hugs, but he might like talking if you gain enough TRUST

Papyrus's soul: white heart

Seems pretty harmless

Sans: Has a small difference to the original sans, the only change being that he has a longer jacket. looks like a normal sans right now but will slowly change. Really cares about his brother.

Sans soul: white heart

Harmless?

Alphys: looks like the original alphys but with ink splotches everywhere on her skin. She doesnt really leave the lab often. Dont bother her while she's working. She likes her job as the royal scientist.

Alphy's soul: blue heart

Pretty harmless... Sans doesnt like her though..

Undyne: usually just visits alphys. They are best friends.

Undyne's soul: green heart

Will hurt you if you hurt her friends.

[toomanyopinionss]

My thoughts while watching

The Umbrella Academy (S4)

…HUH?!

ummmmm i’m sorry, what the ever loving FUCK did i just have the displeasure of watching?

spoilers btw, this is gonna be very raw and off the chest

i don’t know what to say, this was disappointment after disappointment. i don’t want to dog pile automatically though, so I’ll list out the very few things i liked about this season before i descend into madness:

The first two episodes. well paced and entertaining. although this could easily go on the bad list, cause they gave me false hope for this season.

nick offerman and megan mullally. ALWAYS a treat to see them on my screen.

Klaus’s relationship between Allison and Claire. very sweet.

a couple songs on the soundtrack

the fact that this season was short

i’m not joking that’s literally it. this was sooooo bad, i’m actually shocked.

let’s address the elephant in the room.

the character assassination of five needs to be studied

what the hell happened?! What happened to the guy that genuinely cared about his family? he didn’t abandon his family after FORTY some years in the future, and a jaunt to the past, but all of a sudden, he was ready to give up just like that??

his character this season was unfocused and lame. he looked bored half the time and unconcerned the other half. LUTHER felt more connected to this story than this mf did. remember when he murdered a room full of people? remembered when he kinda comforted klaus, or helped diego out, or had a heart to heart with viktor? this seasons five is like night and day from the old one.

and him and LILA?! barf

BARF. TOMATO TOMATO WHO ASKED FOR THIS?

i refuse to watch this sixty year old man in the body of a literal teenager poorly masquerading as a man get together with the wife of his brother, i won’t do it. the boy looks 18, come on are you fucking serious?!

oh but that’s not my only issue i ASSURE YOU

this season was a half baked, rush job to line netflix’s pockets.

and it could have been sooo good.

what do you mean, no one knows how ben died??

what do you mean the timelines are merging in on each other and people are noticing??

they completely dropped the ball off the face of the planet. this felt like a 10 page paper that was written in an hour. there’s soooo many plot holes, there’s no antagonist, nothing felt like it had meaning. nothing really mattered.

and speaking of not mattering, you know what completely breaks my heart? Ben.

i want someone to look me dead in my eyes and tell me that man was actually a legitimate character and not a plot device. ive never seen a character done so dirty in EVERY SINGLE SEASON ARE YOU JOKING? they never let his character breath. the only tear i shed this season was when he looked at viktor and cried, saying he was scared. that’s when i realized that the writers really don’t give a shit about him… they don’t care about his character arc, HE NEVER EVEN HAD ONE. it felt weird and disgusting.

i’m not gonna talk abt the end.

i’m done, i can’t do this anymore. i feel deceived. i feel like i wasted my time watching this series. the people behind the show clearly didn’t care about it, so why should I?

2/10, fuck this.

[hoziersrealhusband]

january 29th, 2025

yoo hey... oopsies!

as we all know what the first week of classes is infamously called silly week. IT WASNT SILLY. I WASNT LAUGHING. lets start this post with a recap of all of my classes.

be 305:

this is an insanely easy class. we have daily reading paired usually with videos but they are easy reads. instead of having any midterms or exams we have daily quizzes kind of as a "test" of our knowledge along the course of the class, and its quite literally just reading comprehension. this quizzes are 70% of my grade though but so insanely easy. also the other 30% is literally just attendance, we have games and surveys that we do through a program that is called moblab that we will get an A on literally as long as we show up

entr 410:

it was a running bit ive heard that business students have coloring sheets due at 11:59pm but didnt think it was true until i had to draw something for this class. this class will def not be as easy as my other business minor class but this professor is amazing. she has a really great rate my professor score for classes she taught on entrepreneurship, the only bad scores being from bus 150 which is basically just people saying she made them watch too many videos. she has a really good way for doing the entr class though and i think ill be able to get a lot out of this class

engl 306:

the professor that was in indonesia is back! that is absolutely going to be my hardest class, which is really just because of the amount of reading that we have to do for it, which i knew was going to be apart of the class (thanks previous prof for the warning). WHICH ISNT A BAD THING! ive heard so many really great things about him, hes been at my school for such a long time now and has great things online about him all of the way back to 2015.

engl 351:

didnt post his canvas page for a week. its ok its sounds confusing af tbh and i would probably get so frustrated. but ANYWAYS! it seems like a really fun class. i love fiction writing so i think it will be a good creative outlet.

art 132:

as we can see im kind of getting tired and dont want to write this anymore because its almost midnight. BUTT. this was like my one fun class i wanted to take this semester and of course i cant do anything normally and i want to minor in it. metal smithing is just SO different from everything that i do for my major, minor and certificate and of course if i do this as a minor as well it would become apart of my regular course load. ANYWAYS. the professor is amazing. you truly are able to go into this class with no knowledge of metals at all and learn so much just within the first few classes. i havent really done anything related to science at all in a few years, and theres not a whole TON of science involved, but we get to work with a few different type of chemicals involved in giving the metals different colors, cleaning metals, etc etc.. its just really exciting to get a completely new and challenging concept introduced to me and im really excited to go further into this course and will absolutely be taking a metal smithing course next semester

OK! lets talk about other things relating to this week.

i think something im learning every single day is how to deal with bad work days. something that i really wont disclose too much on here about in the next four years (TAKE THAT AS A HINT TO WHO IM TALKING ABOUT). in the past few days this job has become kind of stressful, but for once in my entire working career, i have a really positive and supporting working environment, something i never had while working at grocery stores. taking things one day at a time there is truly all i can do right now, because i know that as soon as things die down for now with that man i told yall about earlier in this part, or if certain things he has done are put back into law, that things will be better there. the amazing group of coworkers that i have there along with my amazing bosses are absolutely people.

thats probably all for this just because i lowkey wanna get on the sims 4 rn. its 12:02am. GOODNIGHT! maybe ill do songs for each post too, let me go find one.

im really excited for her to release new music

also here is what im currently reading

the handmaids tale by margaret atwood

providence by craig willse

a small place by jamaica kincaid

it would be fun to post reading recaps/reviews on those books whenever i do finish them. i just finished reading strange pictures by uketsu a few days ago as well which was an insane and absolutely amazing book. i will try to get a book review out for that soon actually!

[ghuleh-witch]

And We Are Tied As One Eternally-V

Fandom: Ghost Rating: Explicit Warnings: (For Future Chapters) NSFW, 18+, unprotected sex, p in v sex, oral sex, mentions of past abuse and domestic violence, references to suicide (For This Chapter) brief mentions of 9/11, war, death, school shootings, and religious manipulation Relationships: Papa Emeritus IV/Copia x OFC Additional Tags: soft!dom Copia, eventual smut, developing relationship, kind of a slow burn, no beta reader Chapter Word Count: 2116 Summary: Ellie Moran just wanted to make a new life for herself. Running to escape the people in her past, she ends up in a small town in the middle of nowhere that happens to be home to a Satanic church. She never expected her life to change again after she started attending the public masses at said church.

Ao3

Chapters: 5/? Previous Chapters

Tag list: @sodoswitchimage

Her laugh was the most musical thing he’d ever heard, and Copia would die happy if it was the last thing he would ever hear again. He sat on the edge of his bed as Ellie sat cross-legged on the floor, his rats crawling over her knees and onto her shoulders. She giggled and cooed at them, gently petting their soft fur with her fingers. Copia felt fluttering in his stomach as she watched Ellie’s face scrunch as Meatball sniffed her ear. 

“That tickles,” she said as she gently lifted Meatball from her shoulder and to her knee. She gave him a loving pat before fishing her phone out of her pocket and checking the time. “I can’t stay for long. I have work this afternoon.”

“What do you do for work?” Copia asked. 

“I work at the little bookstore in town—stocking, running the register, stuff like that,” Ellie answered. 

“Do you like it?”

“It’s one of the better jobs I’ve had. I don’t mind it at all. My one supervisor is an asshole but it pays my bills so I can’t complain too much,” Ellie said with a shrug. 

“Asshole? What makes them an asshole?” Copia asked curiously, ready to go to bat for her.

“Oh, he’s a religious guy. Reminds me of all the people I grew up around.”

“That’s right, you said you were an evangelical baptist,” Copia said, remembering what she told him the first time they met. “Not that it’s any of my business, but what led you astray from your church?” He saw her go still for a moment as the rats crawled over her shoulders. She was considering her words, he noted and it made him even more curious

“Just a lot of things,” she said with a shrug. “The older I got the more I questioned things and the less that made sense. I didn’t particularly appreciate how controlling they were for one. I couldn’t read certain books or watch certain movies because they were considered evil. I wasn’t allowed to wear certain types of clothes. I was told my place in the world was to be a wife and a mother and pop out as many kids as possible to serve God.” She sighed. “I think the thing that started to make me pull away was being told at thirteen years old that I needed to martyr myself for Jesus in case someone came to shoot up my school.” 

Copia felt sick at that. For a child to hear such vile... “That’s disgusting. How dare they tell children that?” He seethed. Anger flooded him the more he thought about it. “And these are the people who claim to protect the innocent. I can’t stand people like that.”

“Me neither, but when you’re at that age and have nowhere else to go you just sort of pretend to be like them to survive,” Ellie said softly. “At least that’s what I did. I don’t think I’ve believed in God since I was fourteen or fifteen, but I played the part of a good Christian girl until I could get away.” 

“You do what you got to in order to survive, even if it does mean, eh, what do the kids say? Faking it until you make it,” Copia said as he nodded in agreement. “The Olde One understands this.” 

“Leaves you with a lot of issues though,” Ellie said with a laugh, her eyes glancing down at her left arm. The glance didn’t go unnoticed by him though. He had a feeling what lay under her sleeve, but he wouldn’t push or bring it up. That was her story to tell whenever she was comfortable and ready. “But I’m working through them. Slowly.”

“Life isn’t a race,” Copia said, leaning over to allow Alfredo to crawl up his arm. “You work at things at your own pace, si ?”

Ellie nodded and then laughed as Meatball tried to crawl down her shirt, and for a moment Copia thought the room got even warmer than it already was. “No, friend, you can’t go down there,” she said as she gently sat Meatball back on her knee. She looked over to Copia. “Thanks again for letting me play with them. I miss having animals in my life.”

“It’s not a problem. Anytime you want to visit them let me know. You do not have any pets?” Copia asked. 

“No,” Ellie said. “I was moving around a lot…you know looking for that change I wanted to make and I didn’t think it would be fair to put that stress on a cat or a dog or any other animal. When I was a kid I used to have a dog. Her name was Misty. She was this really pretty golden retriever. I loved her so much. She was my best friend. After my dad died, my mother got rid of her.”

“Oh, cara, I’m so sorry,” Copia said. “About your father and your dog.”

“It’s okay. It was a long time ago. My dad was in the military. Got sent to war after 9/11, and died in Afghanistan. My mother wasn’t the same after that. She got rid of everything that reminded her of him, and he was the one that got me Misty. I’m pretty sure my mother would have got rid of me if she could.”

He could see the pain in her eyes and it broke his heart. He wanted to hold her and comfort her but settled for placing a hand on her knee and giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’m sorry to hear that, cara . People grieve in different ways, but that wasn’t fair for your mother to take away something you loved because she couldn’t properly channel that grief.” 

Her hand came to rest over his for a brief moment and for a second Copia thought he felt a tingle of electricity surge through him. “Thanks,” she said softly. “I miss that dog every day. I know she’s probably gone by now. She was three years old when I was ten so she’d be over twenty years old now if she was still alive.” Ellie glanced down at their hands and slowly pulled hers away. Copia did the same, already missing the warmth it brought him. “But maybe one day I’ll get myself another dog.”

“Of course,” Copia said. “But in the meantime, my rats can be your furry friends.”

Ellie grinned. “Thanks.” She dug her phone out of her pocket again and frowned. “I should get going. I gotta get home and get ready for work.”

“Oh, of course. Let’s get the babies back in their home and I’ll walk you out.” 

They got the rats back in their cage and Ellie promised she’d back to visit them. It made his heart race knowing she’d be coming back to his room to see his rats. They were silent as he walked her out of the house and to the lot her car was parked in. “I’ll see you for mass?” He asked as she unlocked her car door.

Ellie nodded. “I’ll be here. I might be back before then though. Gemma said she had some study guides for me to look over.”

Copia nodded. “Well, if you need anything…”

“I’ll let you know,” Ellie finished for him with a smile. “Thanks again, for everything.”

“No problem,” Copia said. “No problem at all. I’ll see you soon.” He watched as she got into her car and started the engine. She gave him a little wave before backing up and making her way down the drive. He watched as her car disappeared before heading back to the house.

“Someone’s becoming smitten,” came a voice from the kitchen once he was back inside.

Copia turned to see Secondo making himself a cup of tea.

“I’m not-” Copia began before Secondo held up a hand to stop him.

“You are,” Secondo said. “Don’t deny it. Why should you? She’s pretty, and from talking to her today in the group session, she seems very intelligent and loyal.”

“Because I barely know her,” Copia argued.

“Since when has that stopped you? How many people have you had in your bed that you actually knew?”

“But I’m old enough to be her father.”

“And?”

“She doesn’t want me.”

“You’re blind, fratello,” Secondo sighed. “I’ve seen the way she looks at you during mass, and just now when you were walking her to her car. She’s smitten too whether she knows it or not. You’re making excuses.”

Copia sighed and sat down at the small table. “Maybe you’re right.”

Secondo huffed and smirked. “I know I’m right. So what are you going to do about it.”

“I don’t fucking know,” Copia said. “I don’t want to scare her off.”

“Invite her to the Samhain ball.” 

“She was already invited.”

“As your date, idiota .” 

Copia blinked. “Why didn’t I think of that?”

“Because you aren’t thinking,” Secondo said rolling his eyes. “Next time you see her, ask her. Say it’s just a casual thing or something. She’ll say yes.”

Copia nodded. “Okay…okay I will.”

“Good. And for the record, I think you two would be a good fit.” Secondo finished steeping his tea and walking out of the kitchen.

Copia sat the table thinking it all over. “The worst she can say is no,” he told himself before he made his way up to his bedroom. 

XXX

Ellie stared at the clock. Even though she was working a four-hour shift, it felt like she had already been there for a full day. Two hours to go, she thought as she went back to organizing books on the ‘New releases’ table. She thought back on her visit with Copia. She ended up telling him a lot more than she intended, but Ellie couldn’t help it. She felt so comfortable with him that she didn’t mind being vulnerable.

When the bell above the door jingled, Ellie was pulled from her thoughts. She turned to see an older woman walk in with a stack of flyers in her hand.

“Excuse me, dear, could I leave you a flyer to put in your window? It’s for an event at St. Gertrude’s,” the woman said, holding out a piece of paper to Ellie.

“Oh, we’re not allowed to-” Ellie began before being cut off by her supervisor who appeared behind her.

“Of course, Helen,” Charles said beaming. He took the flyer and looked it over. “This town needs the church more than ever.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” Helen said smiling. “Ever since those devil worshippers moved into the old abbey this town has gone downhill.”

Ellie stilled, biting her tongue to stop herself from saying something that would get her fired.

“The worst thing that’s happened to this place,” Charles agreed. “I see those freaks all the time walking around town putting up their flyers. They’ve come in here a couple of times to leave flyers. I always shred them. I’ll post this in the window and let people know about the event when they come in.” 

Helen nodded and smiled. “Thanks, Charles. I’m going to continue passing out flyers. I’ll see you at mass.”

“See you there,” Charles said before Helen left. He handed Ellie the flyer. “Put this up in the window.”

“I thought we weren’t allowed to display non-store related flyers,” Ellie said taking the flyer from him.

“No one’s going to care about a church flyer,” Charles said.

“Then why don’t you display the flyers for the Ministry of Ghost?” Ellie challenged. “Why display one religious organization and not the other? Doesn’t seem fair.”

“Because they’re not a religion. They’re a cult of evil,” Charles sneered. “You kids these days…”

“I’m 30 years old. I’m not a kid,” Ellie said. “And I’m only pointing out how hypocritical the situation is and how it’s against company policy to display non-store related flyers in the windows.”

Charles huffed and grabbed the flyer out of Ellie’s hand.

“I’ll do it then,” he said before striding over to the window. 

As Charles went to get some tape from behind the register, Ellie noticed someone standing across the street from the store. She blinked and froze. The setting sun made the street outside dim and made details hard to make out, but she recognized the man staring back at her. Ellie closed her eyes for a second and breathed. In and out. In and out. When she opened her eyes again, the man was gone.

I’m going crazy, she thought as she looked out the window and up and down the street. No one was there.

He’s not here, she told herself. You’re just seeing things. It’s okay. You’re safe. 

Post Chapter A/N I hope everyone got to see Rite Here Rite Now. Seeing it has affected the outcome of this fic, so stay tuned! Follow me on twitter :) -ghulehwitch

[deliciouspirateangel]

thoughts on descendants 4 after just watching it <3 spoilers below

i didnt hate it but it also wasnt great?? i unironically love all the other descendants movies, ive got all the books, the dolls, dove cameron is always in my spotify wrapped top 5 bc of how much i listen to the soundtrack. those are my qualifications for not being a hater. i just didnt think this movie lived up to the original trilogy

and obviously they want to make more movies, which im okay with, but this one still felt unfinished. not in a "there's more to explore in the sequels" way but in a "we forgot to write an ending" sort of way

the pacing was just really weird and when we checked to see how much time was left and saw there were only ten minutes, we couldnt believe it

with all the talk of castlecoming and how big a deal that was, it felt so weird that we didnt see it?? that bridget went thru this horrible life changing prank that literally turned her evil and we just never even got close to it. taking the book was enough

(also, why did red even have to open the book in the first place if they only needed to play keep away with it? they werent even looking for anything inside)

WHAT was chloe talking about when she said her mom changed so much?? like did ella tell her nothing about her past? she's surprised that her mom grew up poor and abused and disliking royals but went on to marry a prince and be kind and give her gifts?? i dont understand what she was confused about alskjfsl

i did like brandy and paolo tho. idc if it was fan service, im a fan and felt serviced <3 their parts were cute. there was no reason for ella to be running around with blue hair tho. and the top, back, and braid all felt like they were from a different wig and none of it was working for me

i am SO glad chad got a mention tho. i screamed when it happened. i just figured they'd ignore him completely lmao

uliana was written like racist people write uma in fanfics. disappointing. disney still owes her for season 1 of hsmtmts so they better improve her part for the sequel movies

the songs were also v disappointing for meee :/ my sister said half of them sounded like they belonged on the zombies soundtrack (derogatory). the soundtracks of the original trilogies have almost zero skips on them, so it sucks that like over half the songs on this one could be a skip for me

this is also true of the stupid royal wedding short but i hate that they essentially killed carlos off for real. its sooo dumb but idk i just like thinking that cam could live on in his character but nooo. and even tho im convinced that china was crying real tears in that scene and it still hurts, the whole "we should do it for carlos" thing was like. still weird

anyway like everyone did a good job with what they were given but i think the script and song writing were nowhere near as strong as the original 3 (even tho i also think the original 3 movies vary in quality in those regards)

but i still had a good time and hope they make more. and i need those dolls to show up in stores bc i want them <3 and above all else...

GIVE DARA RENEÉ BETTER MATERIAL DISNEY YOU OWE HER