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bl--ankhaeji · 4 years ago

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Tagged by @drydrops891 Hi Vic sweetie ahh its been a min since ive done a tag

Relationships: None~ (Ive had one situationship tho)

Break-ups: None

Kids: i don’t have any currently but do I want them yes

Brothers and Sisters: I have one older sister

Pets: I uhhh “have” one but not really but I do want them when I get older

Surgeries: I’ve gotten my tonsils taken out, my adenoids removed, and 4 teeth taken out for braces

Tattoos: None yet but I want to be tatted up boi

Countries i’ve been too: uhh America

Been in an airplane: yUp

Been in an ambulance: nOpe

I sing karaoke: I used to have a karaoke machine but I only used it like twice and I didn’t really have fun. And every time i’ve been around a karaoke machine i was in a very uncomfortable environment, but I want to try again when I am comfortable

Ice skating: I want to do it and I probably will when I get older

Been on a cruise: Yes. it was for my cousins tenth birthday

Driven a motorcycle: No but I’ve rode one a good few times and I want one when I get older

Ridden a horse: Yee

Stayed in a hospital: Not like long term I’ve never been in for a day

Favorite fruit or berry: All of them (except for banana bitch ass I used to like it but I stopped eating it) at least all of the ones I’ve had so far in life. I love fruit.

Favorite color: I like all colors but if anyone asks my favorite color is yellow

Last text: I texted my friend gc telling them I’m putting my phone on do not disturb for a little and reminding my friend to do her work for school.

Coffee or tea: coffee hands down

Favorite pie: I haven’t eaten many pies but sweet potato pie is where it’s at

Cat or dog: Dog

Favorite time of the year: not summer

Met a star: uhhh not really but I went to a panic! at the disco concert once so does that count

Flown a helicopter: ahh nope

Been on TV: nah

Broken my leg: never broken a bone at all actually but I once sprained my ankle in a roller skating crash

Seen a ghost: not that I know of....

Been sick in a taxi: ok thats oddly specific but noo I really don’t know if i’ve ever even been in a taxi

Tagging: @dreamzenct @hunnyuwu @earth-to-that-asian @neotvch @theunicornotaku and @bumblebeenct I’m tagging all of these cuties I want to get to know you all better and uhh this the only other way without pming you because i’m an awkward shy mess @ literally all of my mutuals tbh

#Tres-baes #tags

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penaltybox14 · 5 years ago

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@dying-redshirt-noises @its-skadi I made this for you.

You get a call, they say. You get a call sometimes, there's not a damn thing you can do and you know it already.

And sure, is the response. Sure, we know that. We've been to blazes eating up a house to its black ribs, we've drawn back, we've stumbled out the door sweating to the unspoiled lawn gasping, at the twenty-minute limit, at the very limit, not sure if the siding sliding down is the heat or the hallucination.

No, they say. No, you don't, not yet.

It's Bob's tech, technically speaking, because Craig drove them back (home) just gone midnight and they flopped into (respective) beds not speaking: the report written in Craig's clear precise concise hand with not a mark missed, a routine call, as routine a call as ever, as routine a call as Craig could make it, because that's just what he does. Bob skirts around chaos like finding your way through a fire: he slides between the panic and the pain like you feel a door in the dark: the heat, the smoke, the rope, the staircase. Craig imposes order: Craig cages the monster and tames its shining eyes.

The other paramedics are maddened: they work so well together. They work together, they drive together, they eat together, they sleep side-by-side together, quick light sleep like a flock of birds changing direction in the sky.

It's Bob's tech and the call says unknown medical and that catches your brain and turns a switch, the key in the ignition, alright, let the bay door rattle, let the lights swing and shine, let's shake a leg and roll, babe, we got no time. Unknown medical might be a sprained ankle on the staircase or it might be a body in the street, it might be the wrong place wrong time, it might be the last place you wanna be, it might be the end of the world or the beginning.

Even Bob's awake. Craig wakes up like he's already got a second track running with a locomotive warm and thrumming, flagman says time to go. (we got no time, though, but to go). Both him and Craig know their district like the backs of their hands or the palms of their gloves or the smell of the sheets they snap on their beds every morning of every shift. Bob likes to spend the drive waking up as if he's swimming up from the bottom of a deep blue pool into the waning sun, like driving down a road watching attractions slip past, opportunities waiting.

Unknown medical, man down, man up, we got this.

Craig's very-awake voice is running through the possibilities like the computers at HQ crunch the numbers and send them flying.

Bob is nodding, Bob is making time, Bob is stretching out the time between the call and the place and the night and the day like cotton candy on the tongue.

On the lawn just outside the streetlamp's halo a haggard man stands as if he doesn't deserve the light. He points to the house, where a woman is screaming, a woman screaming and screaming, and the words coalesce between the boards of the board, in the tumblers of the lock, my baby, my baby, my baby.

But baby, we ain't got no time.

But the baby is blue and cool and her blood is in the backs of her legs and the backs of her arms and her softness is pale and keenly beautiful and she isn't breathing, she hasn't breathed in hours, in too long, in far too long.

One time, Thibeault, a medic at 8's, got mad at Craig's essential honesty and said, you don't care about the people, do you, and said, I bet you'd leave a dead kid on scene, wouldn't you?

Craig had said, simply, he had not yet had such a call. Thibeault found his proof in Craig's flat expression, in his pushing up of his glasses, in his soft and mild voice. In Craig's head a thought rattled: a child, a mother, too much time, and not enough, and never.

What would he do?

Well, babe, now's your chance to show the world: the baby in her duckling pajamas with the fuzzy feet is blue as the moon on the tidal flat, and she is cool as cardiac monitor in his sweating hands, and the baby, she isn't, anymore. And the mother screams and screams: my baby, my baby, save my baby.

It's Bob's tech. It's their call. Send an ambulance, right here, right now, do it fast, do it quick, sweep the mother off her feet and swing low and sweep this baby in your arms, send the night supervisor, we need both medics on this call.

There are words you say that mean: we're bringing you no hope, we're bringing you no life, we're bringing you this body so her mother doesn't have to weep over her until the coroner arrives and by then it will be morning and it will be clear that nothing could be done or will be again.

Doc doesn't say, start an IV. Doc says, keep her on the monitor, Doc says, bring her in.

Fifteen-two, count and breathe and breathe, and count, nevermind the stretcher, never mind the litter bearers only carry her, Bob carries her, compressions with his two fingers, to the ambulance to the rending wail of the mother sending her sorrow to the stars in the smoggy sky, and the father stands smoking a cigarette beyond the light and weeping in an ugly way as men do.

Craig keeps up the compressions while Bob arrays the tools of their trade until a broad hand on his arm and a broad face stays him.

Oh.

But.

" - Bob."

"When we get there," Bob says, softly, his voice sliding the way a boot does on coals.

Rampart's ER is bright as if it hates secrets and fifteen-two is the name of the game, breathe for her, breathe baby, cause baby won't ever breathe again.

Doc calls it, calls the death, calls the time, and it's Early on the overnight, thank god, Early who stays the hand of the pale, pale nursing student who brings the sheet up over the child's face and brings it down to fold it softly down around her neck, to tuck it in sweetly, like she's sleeping. Like she's only sleeping.

They said, back in training: you're gonna get a call and there isn't a goddamn thing you can do, and you know it.

And a dozen fireman snorted back we know.

And they said: no, you don't. Not yet, you don't.

Rampart's ER is too bright to live with the baby's soft cheeks and slowly sinking eyes. Like the sun inside a box, that's the ER, like daylight trapped eternally, infernally.

Craig checks the box because that is what he does.

Bob falters over the run report because that -

- is what he does?

Craig checks the box slowly. Says nothing. The overnight nurse in the ER casts them gentle eyes. Some of the nurses are starting to trust that Brice has a few compassionate neurons firing in his brilliant, brilliant brain, and the cast them gentle eyes. Not the pitying look: not, god, Bellingham's gotta work with him? Not the dry gaze: how long is Brice gonna last with him?

Bob takes a long time filling out the demographics. Craig has checked the box twice.

Thibeault and Jackson came in with a drunk with a head lac, took one look at the two of them, and thought twice.

Bob sighs a long, long, long sigh, as long the tide itself.

"Fuck it," he says, the weight of the words striking the silence like a brick, "fuck 'em, HQ can live with a late report."

Craig snaps the box closed. They didn't use anything. He snaps the box closed and fixes the latch and says: "I'll drive, Bob."

They are well late. Twenty minutes on, twenty minutes transport, twenty minutes clear that's very clear, that's in the rules, and the walking rulebook ought to know that but he hesitates to pick up the mic, hesitates on the key, starts driving, that isn't what he does and he knows it and Bob knows it and they know the way home but Craig doesn't take it.

Not the late-night way, not the wrong-way streets way that Bob would've gone, not the let's-get-back-and-crash way.

The scenic route, as Bob would say. The inefficient way, as Craig would note.

Craig would like to say something sympathetic. He would like to say something weighty, something remarkable.

Thibeault said to him once: you'd leave a dead kid with his mama crying on scene, you son of a bitch.

She looked like she was sleeping.

Jackson would've said she's gone to Jesus.

Gage would've hit something, he is sure of it.

He tries to think of what DeSoto would say. Then, he tries to imagine what Bob would say.

He has drawn the squad up along a roadside above the rail terminal. In the distance, stands of smokestacks wheeze out pale breaths, and blink their aircraft warning lights like animal eyes, red and white and indifferent. A locomotive hoots softly in the yard, and boxcars and tankers clank, clank, clank over poorly welded rails. It smells like Los Angeles always does: like smog and asphalt, like low tide and coal.

He takes a breath as jagged as a drunken fool's lacerated face.

And Bob lays a hand on his arm as soft as a baby's cool cheek.

He shuts his eyes.

Bob touches his hand. He puts his arm - his strange, slender, detached arm - around Bob's wide shoulders, and pulls him close, to feel his head rest, his fraying hair, his stubbled cheek, his gentle hand, his thick bicep that muscles Barrett off the chicken and the chili when Parson cooks. Bob's body, Bob's imperfect warm and breathing body, and he shuts his eyes and the time passes.

"You gonna tell me it's alright?" Bob says, after a while.

"No, Bob."

"Thanks, babe."

"Anytime."

When Craig opens his eyes the world is still there: it hasn't stopped turning, for the undeserving, for the wicked, for the weary, hasn't put its spin on pause for the wailing mother and the bestilled baby, for the father swallowing his sobs on the lawn while the sprinklers chuff, chuff, chuff and hiss.

A streetlight on the boulevard sputters and dies.

They drive back (home) in silence, remind dispatch that they, too, still exist, and fall to bed without words, with Craig's turnouts folded down neatly and Bob's askew, and Bob will snore heavily into the mattress and Craig will end up with one leg outside the covers and one arm asleep under his pillow. Because that is what they do and what they know, because it's not alright, because the world keeps spinning, and all that holds it together isn't the light or the smog or the damp lawn or the hot and reeking asphalt, but just that: just each other, what they do, and what they know.

#brice/bellingham #emergency!#fic!#i have no title for this yet #child death cw #child death tw

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jawllines · 6 years ago

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Gang Harry blurb???

oKAY IM SORRY I FELL ASLEEP LAST NIGHT BUT YETH HERE SHE IS, THIS IS WHAT WAS GOING ON IN THE TIME BETWEEN Y/N PASSING OUT IN THE CLUB AND WAKING UP IN THE HOSPITAL IN GANG HARRY!

Harry has never felt such an immense, looming feeling of regret in his life. Like a two ton elephant sat on his chest, suffocating him, keeping him from relaxing at all. Though, even if it hadn’t been his fault, he doesn’t think he’d ever relax. Who could be when they’re rushing their person to the hospital, with a car full of her confused friends wondering what happened as Harry sits in the backseat, gnawing harshly at his lip. He answers none of their questions though, and he won’t for the time being, until he can conjure up a proper story that’s not, “I’m the leader of a gang, and your friend here accidentally got caught up in a ton of shit so now I’m keeping her at my safe house, and she pleaded with me to come out with you guys -- which I was reluctant to let happen in the first place -- but I caved, and we came out, and the man who has a bone to pick with me and subsequently her found her, grabbed hold of her, I saw and beat the shit out of the fucker, but when I turned around she was on the ground.”

That’d surely go over well, wouldn’t it?

So he just kept his mouth shut, letting them theorize as his heart was racing and his chest is twisting with a guilt he’s unable to describe. How could he let this happen? He should have gone with her, walked her to the bathroom despite what it might have looked like. Or better yet, he should have nixed the god damn idea of going out in the first place! But could he really have? That would be fucked -- he couldn’t keep her captive in that way. Couldn’t do that to her, not when she asked so nicely and seemed so excited when he had agreed. But he should have been more careful! God, should have had Grant and Dave scope out the place while Mark kept an eye on Y/N, or just planned it in a way much better than he had.

His thought loop stalls for a moment when they stop outside of bright red EMERGENCY room, and Harry wastes no time in running in. Stops at the front desk, rattles off who he’s here for, and nearly throws a proper fit when they tell him she’s not allowed visitors yet. “What the fuck do you mean she’s not allowed --”

But his phone rings before he can continue, brows furrowed as he stuffs his hand into his pocket to retrieve it, all but smashing it to his ear, “Listen, I don’t have any fucking time for --”

“Harry?” Nick’s voice rings out, “Harry is she okay? Grant called and told me what happened.”

Harry tries desperately to keep his cool, feels the threat of tears prickle at his eyes because despite being his boss, Nick is a few years older and a comforting figure that he can look to often, when things become too much. And right now they're too much -- way too much.

“Fuck, I don’t know Nick,” he walks from the desk, dragging himself to the nook with the vending machines, “I don’t know, she’s -- it’s my fault, innit? She’s never gonna want to see me again.” His voice feels close to wobbling, breathing out a heavy sigh and sucking his bottom lip into his mouth, biting down on it ferociously. Lets his forehead knock against the wall, letting a self-deprecating laugh huff from his chest, “How selfish of me, right? She’s in there unconscious and I’m concerned if she’s ever going to want to see me?” His brows dip in frustration, bumping his head against the wall again, “This is fucked, yeah?”

“Very fucked, Lovie, but listen to me,” he begins, “She’s going to be okay, yeah? Y/N’s a tough girl and a little bonk to the head won’t have her down for the count. And you know she won’t blame you, don’t you? She’ll hear you out.” Harry opens his mouth to tell him that there’s no bleeding way she’s going to even want to hear him speak probably because for all he knows these feelings are completely one-sided. . .Harry has no direct ties to her other than this, there’s no reason for her to want to stay -- but Nick keeps going, “I know you and I know you’re feeling guilt-stricken and think there’s no way she’ll want to speak with you, but if she’s been so understanding up to this point what makes you think she’s going to change tunes when she wakes up?”

Harry twists around, looking along the waiting room and seeing Y/N’s friends all sat in the chairs, looking to him like they’re expecting answers from him and for the first time in a long time Harry has an overwhelming urge to crawl beneath a damn rock. He’s face to face with the roughest, toughest, grizzliest people on a daily but the innocent confusion of his crush’s friend’s faces is enough to have him a damn nervous wreck. “Look, I have to go Nick,” he murmurs, “I’ll message you when I figure out what’s happening.”

He takes one more deep breath, pocketing his phone, straightening out his back and swallowing thickly as he makes his way towards them. They’re just college students. . .stupid college students, who would probably believe whatever bogus story that he fed them and he could only hope they don’t ask too many questions. He’s lied to people before -- has lied to police, to government officials, to opposing gangs and the likes of it. Had he been able to lie to Y/N? No, he hadn’t -- he’d cracked and told her everything at the first word of a question even though she was willing to drop it. So would it be the same with her friends? Did they all carry the same radiating charm that she did? Would he spill an entire load of his story, starting from why him and Y/N were spending so much time together and ending with why his father had pushed this job into his hands in the first place? Would they forbid her from seeing him ever again? Did her friends’ say have enough impact to actually sway her from seeing him?

“Harry,” Greta begins, and he braces himself, “Can I just say, you’re fucking amazing?”

Oh.

Oh?

“Wait, what?” Harry begins, brows dipping in confusion and Greta’s face lights up.

“You fucking rocked him! Right in the face, never seen a guy like that go down with two punches before,” she seems bewildered, giving these eyes that are so similar to Y/N’s -- those wide shocked ones that she gets when something excites her -- and his makes his heart hurt, twisting painfully, “You saved her I bet. She’s always picking fights with people twice her size. Should see her at a frat party when someone gets too handsy; a right devil when she needs to be.”

Adam doesn’t seem as starstruck by what had gone down, looking distraught with glossy eyes swimming with alcohol, popping his bitten nails from his mouth, “Can’t believe someone would just grab her like that. So scary -- m’never taking you lot out to a club again, they’re gross and sticky and have nothing but filth running amuck in there. If you hadn’t been there, I don’t even want to think about what could have happened.”

“Thank you, Harry,” Liam jumps in, “Is what I think they’re trying to say. Thank you for taking care of her.”

This doesn’t make him feel any better. Of course he’s glad that they aren’t trying to dig deeper in what had happened and had settled for Y/N just being a spitfire kind of girl, ready to pick a fight at a moments notice. However, they were thanking him when there was no reason to thank him. He was the one who’d gotten her into the mess, he deserved no thank yous at all.

“I can see why she’s always swooning over you.” Liam then notes and Adam swats him hard in the bicep.

“Shut up! Can’t go around telling her business --”

“But he’s not lying.” Greta notes, and Harry takes the seat from across them, sinking into the uncomfortable fabric chairs.

“Define swooning.” Harry encourages them to continue, his heart sparking, beginning to race.

Liam scoots forward, leaning in, “She’s absolutely head over heels for you,” he tells him, while Greta nods her head in agreement, “Gushes about you whenever she can; goes all starry-eyed when you’re mentioned and tonight -- tonight after seeing you guys together, it just confirmed that she’s gotten struck by cupid’s bow.”

“You feel the same don’t you?” Greta adds, wiggling closer, “You two are so cute together.”

Harry opens his mouth, but he doesn’t have anything to say. Thinks the smile that begins to worm onto his lips might be enough, with a small nod as he agrees. She likes him? Does she? Or are her friends just trying to pawn her off because they thought that she might like him?

He’s not sure of the specifics so he ignores them and decides that this feels too good to question right now.

It looks like there might be more they want to say but a woman walks up with a clipboard, standing before them, says that she’s looking for the group who are here for Y/N and when they all look up she continues, “She’s stable -- there’s no significant damage as of now yet besides a sprained ankle but everything else is fine as of right now.”

“Can we see her?” Harry asks, and the woman looks to him, shaking her head apologetically.

“She’s not awake yet, but visiting hours are over. You’re welcome to wait here but --”

“I’m her husband,” Harry says immediately, standing up, “And I’d like to stay in the room with her until she wakes, if that’s okay.”

She looks at him, brows furrowed, “Sir, I’ll need to see some identification --”

“He is!” Greta nearly shouts, “But Y/N’s new license hasn’t come in yet. All of us went to the wedding. A lovely ceremony, and amazing reception, we all got shit faced and I ended up grinding on his Aunt for the entirety of the Cha Cha slide, sadly -- we have all the pictures of it if you’re interested.”

The nurse still looks skeptical, but she doesn’t care enough to continue any further. “Okay,” she answers, “Follow me.”

And he does -- follows her to Y/N, who is hooked up to an IV with her leg propped up on a few pillows wrapped up in bandages. She looks too small in such a big hospital bed, and his heart wrenches in his chest. Tears beading up in his eyes all over again, as he thanks the nurse and takes his spot besides her. Sits there, wrapped up in all of his guilt, feeling like he’s drowning in it almost, the monitor beeping steadily, in great contrast with the speeding of his heart.

He’s there for a few hours before she begins stirring, a whimper drudging from her chest and he watches as her eyes blink open, looking around her, trying to figure out where she was, “Y/N?” her gaze falls to him, trickling from his face, down to his knuckles, and then a small frown pulls at her mouth, “What’s wrong Baby?”

“Your knuckles,” she answered, her voice all scratchy and deep, reaching for his hand and grazing her thumb over his knuckles that were bruised and bloodied, “You messed ‘em up again. Are you okay?”

Harry’s heart just about bursts.

#BLURB #OR #BLURBS #!!#Anonymous

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simplyaiden-blog · 6 years ago

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Tag Game!

RULES: tag ten followers you want to know better! I was tagged by my lovelies @walkerismychoice @tmarie82 and @lizeboredom (I hope that was everyone Thanks to all of you for the tags and sorry this took me so long!!!

Tagging: @larryssunflower @confessionsofabrokegirl @imafictosexual @kateomalleys @alicars @srawesleyghuewrites @clarissafics @viktoriapetit @christopher-powell @pilitella @kinkykingliam @writtenbycandy @abigailpoe

I apologize if you’ve already been tagged. Feel free to ignore!

sign: Libra

Height: 4′ 11″ (I know, I’m tiny. I could probably fit in your pocket)

What’s your middle name: I’m pulling a Damien Nazario and drinking to that.

Put your iTunes on shuffle. What are the first 4 songs that popped up?

Sex and Candy by Maroon 5

Scared of Change by Our Last Night

I Blew it off by Punch Brothers

Gone by the Head and the Heart

Grab the book nearest you and turn to page 23. What’s line 17?

Wait to start graduate school until you are highly motivated so that you can begin earning yourself a good reputation from your first day.

Getting what you came for: The smart student’s guide to earning a masters or PhD.

Sorry guys, im in lab, this is the closest thing to a book I have here lol

Have you ever had a poem or song written about you? Yes! My fiance wrote a song about the night we met, one of the perks of dating a musician 😊

When was the last time you played air guitar? Im uncool and have did air guitar while my fiance and I were belting out songs during our roadtrip a few weeks ago haha

Who is your celebrity crush? So, all time crush is Ryan Reynolds, right @tmarie82?!....BUT as everyone here can attest, I’m obsessed with Michiel Huisman

I mean, have you looked at him? Also, Chris Hemsworth, Chris Pratt, Colin O’Donoghue, and a lot of others.

What’s a sound you hate + a sound you love?

A sound I hate: my alarm in the morning. Car alarms, car horns, ambulance sirens.

A sound I love: so many! A child’s laughter, a baby coo, the ocean, my dog dreaming.

Do you believe in ghosts? So, not really? i’ve never had an experience with ghosts, so I’m prone to say no, but also I’m open to possibility...let’s just hope if I do run into one, they are benevolent and not a death echo, or vengeful spirit (im looking to Dean and Sam Winchester to save me, if I do lol).

How about aliens? It would be really foolish to believe that we are the only planet that can sustain intelligent life. The universe is a big place. <–Keeping this answer because I agree!

Do you drive? Yes and no. I used to drive all the time when I lived in Florida, but now that Im in New York, there’s no need.

If so, have you ever crashed?

I personally have never been in a car accident while driving, but i was almost killed in a car accident in a taxi cab heading home from the airport. We were on the highway and a car at high speeds crossed over the median and concrete wall and almost t boned us, but hit our back left corner causing us to spin out and the other car to flip over multiple times. Everyone involved survived with minimum injuries. The police and paramedics said if the we would have been going just a tad bit slower or him crossing over sooner by just a second, I probably would have died. I count my blessings everyday.

What was the last book you read? The last book I read was East of Eden by John Steinbeck.

Do you like the smell of gasoline? yeah hard pass on that one

What was the last movie you saw?

Literally the last movie I saw was Pride and Prejudice (2005) yesterday...after Desire and Decorum I needed it! Also finally saw Thor Ragnorak and The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society (with Michiel, duh! Watch it, it’s really good!)

What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

So physically the worst injury i had was a sprained ankle from softball in high school. Though when I was 11 my house burned down, and was in the hospital for a week for smoke inhalation and my lungs collapsed twice. So, I have the lungs of a 40 year old chain smoking woman even though Ive never smoked in my life. To this day, even going up stairs, I get winded.

Do you have any obsessions right now? Tumblr, TRR, Michiel Huisman (I swear you guys are probably so bored of me talking about this guy, but I cant help it - Sorry, but not really)

Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? So this is not a simple yes or no. I would say generally no, but it really REALLY depends on what you’ve done to me. There have been people in my life who caused me great physical and emotional harm. It’s not my job to clear their consciences by forgiving them. I might let it go, but I avoid interacting with them after that. If it is a simple transgression, I will almost always let it go, especially if they seem to be working on fixing their issues. <-- stealing this cause I feel the same way!

In a relationship? Engaged and currently planning my wedding :D

Again late to the party, so not sure who’s done this already...

tagging: @larryssunflower @clarissafics @christopher-powell @pilitella @livingthroughchoices @imafictosexual @confessionsofabrokegirl @kinkykingliam @srawesleyghuewrites @kateomalleys @writtenbycandy @alicars @viktoriapetit @abigailpoe

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spentgladiator · 7 years ago

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Year in review???

So 2017 was a big year!!! Last year i got my license and this year i got a sweet ride (thank you so much to @the-avenginator for all the help!!!!) that can get me places and places it did get me!!! I moved into a place just me and Mark!! Ugh commitment is weird. This is the first time since HS ive been consistently with someone from the beginning of the year to the end. How bizarre.

A lot of things i had always taken for granted got changed in my life this year, cat moved away and (CAT DO NOT READ) i definitely cried about it a whole bunch secretly because well. Sometimes its ok if people making the right choices for themselves makes others very sad, its very rare that other peoples decisions are meant to make you sad, even if thats a result. Its an unfortunate side effect of difference.

I saw los camp, live in Vancouver when they dropped Sick Scenes and in doing so took my very first real adult vacation, and reconnected with someone i had thought i lost forever. What a sweet and simple treasure, what a dream come true, all of it. Gareth autographed a cd for me and.... spelled my name so phenomenally wrong. Honestly? It fits so much into the god damn narrative thread of my life that i cant even be mad, only damned amused.

Coming off of birth control was very difficult. Being on it did what it always does, and made me really really sick both mentally and physically (think big angry cold sores and chronic yeast infections, something about bc DESTROYS my immune system tho i believe that the mental stress brought on by the imbalanced hormones is what really causes it yknow? Like when youre living every day in what is essentially a perpetual anxiety attack? Not healthy. Not fun. Fuck all that noise.)

My birthday party this year was possibly the best night ive ever had. It was just a few folks at my house, a big roarin fire in the pit and some inebriants. I made alfredo at like 2am and as we were all layin around on my bdrm floor all i could think is "god it feels like it used to" while cradling andrews head and trying not to cry bahaha

I got really close with scoot who turned out to be one of the coolest dudes i ever met. @co0t ily, imy, hope to see you sooooooon!!! Because he also moved away and it also made me very sad :(

I did smth im really proud of this year, i stood up to my boss who was not paying us up to labour code. It was very scary, i am not the kind of person who is very good at standing up to authority but i called her t.f. out in our work facebook group in front of everyone so that she couldnt dismiss my concerns (as she had done to other employees in the past who brought things like this up privately. However unlike the past girls i did my research and had receipts from the labour code ready) that was a day i spent 3hrs on the phone bahahahaha but now we all get paid a lot more than we used to (to the tune of, at minimum for me, $15/wk usually a lot more)

I made countless trips back home to see my mom and went to the other city to see my sibling @carlos-isnt-all-that-perfect and they stayed at my house and we played jackbox and went swimming this summer.

Speaking of this summer? Can you say BEACH DAYS??? OH MY GOD I CANT COUNT HOW MANY DAYS I SPENT AT THE BEACH THIS YEAR. truthfully? @all my beach babes...@lanternkicker and johann i dont have ur tumlr and scoot and @therealstifler all of y'all made my summer worthwhile!!!

Also lilly and i laid to waste every decent yard sale in the tri county area bahahahaha!!! Got some gr8 scores, like a bunch of good board games for like ten dollars!!

Mark and i went to edmonton to see Blind Pilot!!!!!! We were there in the city less than 12hrs, damn being working stiffs!!! It was a great trip but i get very emotional at 4am as andrew and ty would learn like two weeks later LOL!!! Mark and I also went to Callaway park and it was a BLAST!!! His friend is a higher up there and even let us use some line jumper passes on the log ride!!!!! Oh my god he was so scared!!!! Bahahahahahahaha ❤❤❤

I took my shitty little neon to the coast and back. Twice. It was a dreamy drive, all four times. Even the time i was sleeping, it was all perfect and i love the two of you so frikken much ❤❤❤❤❤❤ got thrown in a pool, left my phone at the bar, everything was so amazingly perfect.

When i got back i had a wild night out of the time stream with the softest, sweetest boy and it was an amazing night and he bought me cigarettes and i chain smoked as we wandered around the city at 4am and just talked and i love him i love him i will always always always love him ❤❤

This fall everything went completely off the fkn rails and there was some really terrible shit to trudge through. Work pretty much consumed my soul, i sprained my ankle so bad i had to be home for six days but i made the most of it and took up painting again!!! I did some cool shit im really proud of :) someone i love very much got caught up in some very terrible stuff but it all worked out in the end and everyone was safe, and very very very loved ❤❤❤

"I just love that paul giamatti lookin motherfucker" -me at countless points this year

Finally started hanging out with @mollycolliex again!!! Missed u boo!!! I know things suck, but im glad ur still around!!

Christmas was nice :) this year has been the first year in a while ive worked the same job all the way thru the year and so its nice having a guaranteed income so christmas was much easier than last year. I got super drunk at my work party but managed to not make a huge ass of myself and thats all we can really ask for bahahahahaha

Anyway i love every single person i saw this year and i love every single person reading this!!! Its been weird, but its been fun. Hope to see you all next year!!!!

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queenscannon · 8 years ago

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40-50

like 40 through 50? okay *cracks non megan fox fingers* lets do dis.40. how many times have you been to the hospital?-14 because of my feetonce due to a ghost hole in my house where i tripped over nothing and sprained my ankleand twice because of falls off Harley, the first time i fell off(not the first time in general, ive fallen off him so many times im a professional at this point) and got a deep tissue contusion on my lower back and couldnt walk. the second time was where he almost fell down himself. i went over his head and landed on my shoulder, separating my AC joint... so basically i sprained my shoulder. so 17 total.41. top 10 favorite songs-ugh this is always a hard question! i have to go by what they are currently because it always changes lol.1.Kitchen sink by twenty one pilots2. Starlight by Starset3. Faded by Alan Walker4.Mad at Myself by Issues5.Nicotine by Panic! At the Disco6.Hypnotized by Set It Off7.Drown by Tyler Joseph8.truce by twenty one pilots9 Ricochet by Starset10. Upside Down by Set It Offwas trying not to repeat artists... that didn't work! i also figured 'every twenty one pilots song ever' was not an accurate answer.42. do you take any medications daily? -I do! i take a multi-vitamin and birth control, because aint no fuck boy gonna mess up my life. im responsible for my half of the protection of my own body. i also carry condoms on my person so there's no excuse... i digress... onto the next one!43.what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)- I have really fair skin i guess? I've been blessed with fairly(hah) clear skin as well. I dont have a ton of breakouts or anything * knocks on wood vehemently*44. what is your biggest fear? - growing older and accomplishing nothing. i want to make something of myself but im having an issue trying to figure out what that thing is. consistent existential crisis for the win.45. how many kids do you want? - im not even sure if i want them tbh. as far as fur babies go, i want at least three horses, two cats, and one dog.46. whats your go to hair style?- as of lately, dyed blue haha. probably just a high pony tail or a partial pony tail tbh. when painting, it goes into a messy bun. there's no telling where the paint will go!47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) - i actually live in a double wide trailer so i guess medium?48. who is your role model? first and foremost, my mom. the woman is a saint man. she puts up with so much shit and still keeps going. if shes taught me anything, its to persevere. Tyler Joseph of twenty one pilots. cheesy, but tylers songs and music are part of the reason im still here. he inspires me so much, not just by what he sings, but by what he says. I really relate to his lyrics. If there's something I've felt but couldn't explain correctly, Tyler found a way to do it for me. I can apply so many songs to so many different emotions, even if I don't know what it is that I am feeling. I don't find that anywhere else.Josh Dun of twenty one pilots. obviously. Josh is the other half of t.o.p and without him they wouldn't sound the same. He's also funny, sweet, and very kind and thats the type of person i strive to be. Every time I see josh play the drums i get inspired. with every hit to the kick drum, i feel my heart get a little lighter. I had always wanted to drum since i was around 16, but we didnt have a lot of money, still don't, so i kept quiet about it. i started pursuing it recently and im still just as fired up about it as i was then and im 22. Josh inspires me specifically for learning to play drums because he taught himself, which is what im going to end up doing. he plays with such passion its impossible for me to look away from him, esp live. boy that was long. :)49.what was the last compliment you received?- someone told me that i looked like Sailor Neptune today because of my hair, Day=MADE50. what was the last text you sent?-"Can you hear me now?"

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