#ive spent two weeks on this kill me

[nothingtoseeherebyeexx]

have you ever tried…this one? 💕

*disclaimer: some might argue that this demonstration isn’t 100% accurate, since it is common knowledge that ted tonks has been crushing on andromeda for years…

[butnotbubblegum]

using the tags to vent my current emotional state into the void bc ig story feels like a bad plan for this, read at your own risk.

[coulson-is-an-avenger]

y'know I've been spending an unreasonable amount of time going through collecting the lyrics of Kill The Whale (both from my own transcriptions, the live versions, and Daniel's official ones on reddit) with commentary and annotations and I think once I'm done with all of that im going to let myself fully palette cleanse and finally post my FULL glowing review of Hayashida's album because after the epic highs and lows of KTW and the musical reckoning, i need to address an album thats just Entirely good

[thekissofaphrodite]

I Grew this for you, Ives.

Luke Castellan X Daughter of Demeter! Reader

Summary: Your secret meetup with your boyfriend, Luke, might have been interrupted by Percy Jackson.

Warnings: MakeUp...MAKEOUT- I MEAN. Language (Tell me if i missed one!)

Author's note: It might be kinda weird that the title doesn't match the summary but trust me, it's worth reading. + If you saw a fic from another blog the same as this i requested it and decided i wanna make the fic myself.

___

New kid, New responsibility. You were known as being motherly towards every kid that stepped in Camp Half Blood. And Maybe, Just maybe, Percy Jackson considered you as his Camp Mom, It wasn't new for older campers seeing a new 12 year old boy follow you around and look up at you with big puppy eyes along with Grover's confused look, but oh well.

Ever since your Godly Mother, Demeter has claimed you, Luke has called you Ives since then. It all happened when three years ago, you ended up in Camp Half blood after your mortal father has been killed by a chimera, much to his sacrifice, You might have offered some small offerings to your Brother In Law, Hades, to watch him in the underworld. Your first week into camp half-blood, Chiron had announced that Capture the Flag will be the first game for the day, you were teamed up with the reds (Much to your disappointment) you were near the cabin fire when two boys from the blue team had cornered you (One of them was luke) you raised you hands to cover yourself but then, Two ivy vines sprouted out the soil and blocked them, horror washed over you when one of the vines that you 'accidentally' summoned strangled one of the boys, Luke was able to escape and still..Blue team one.

While they were celebrating, The red team started ranting angrily about how you made them lose, You sat in a corner, your head leaned against an oak tree as you sobbed, then, a bright greenish-yellow light appeared with gold sickle with a few sheaths of wheat above your head, No one was there, not until a group of campers saw you, they ran and moments later, almost dozens of campers were in front of you, including chiron.

"All Hail Y/n Y/L/N, Daughter of Demeter"

Bunch of flowers started sprouting near you, The forest and plants looked much more healthier in your eyes as every one knelt down, Including Luke, Who gave you a mischievous wink.

"....And this is the mess hall, You're always designated to sit with your cabin mates but that depends, most unclaimed kids just sit with their friends" You said, Glancing at Percy, The young boy just nodded shyly and coughed,trying to hide his blushing cheeks.

"Looks like someone has a crush on you" Luke appeared behind you with a grin, Percy's eyes immediately went wide, making you chuckle.

"Crushes don't hurt, it's admiration afterall" You whispered before giving percy a light kiss on his cheeks, leaving luke shocked.

One of you halfsiblings, Althea, called you over. Apparently, another one of your half sibling's EX boyfriend from the Dionysus cabin used a lard grapevine to ruin the bathroom door inside the cabin while you sibling is showering out of rage and jealousy.

Now, As head of your cabin, It's either you spent one whole hour being lectured by Mr. D out of his favoritism or...Plead with one of the Hephaestus kids to fix it for you.

What a day.

Giving Luke and Percy one last smile, You left.

__

"C'mon Felix! This is the only time that i've asked for a favour out of all the favours i've done for you, You'd do it for me" You pleaded as you followed him back and forth inside his cabin's workshop.

"Look, Y/n, I love you as my friend, but i can't do it, not right now"

"What if i give you a 25$ gift card from burger king and......" You scouried your pocket hoping to find something, Your eyes lit up as you felt a bill in your palms "50 dollars...and...." You then went to pat your bra and pulled out a coin. "A Peso"

You then placed it in his soily hands, Felix's face remained calm, he then took the money.

"It's warm..." He said kinda horrified...You pulled the peso out of your bra for the gods sake!

"Take it or leave it."

He then rolled his eyes and grabbed his toolbox.

"Lead the way"

You squealed and hugged him before pulling him to your cabin.

As you watched him repair the door in silence, Felix broke the silencce by purposely dropping a hammer to the ground, the loud clattering sound made you flinch a little, he smirked "Thinking about Luke?"

You snorted, as if tho you weren't actually thinking about him, "No, i'm thinking about Percy"

"The new kid who broke Clarisse's spear? he's badass"

"mhm, Son of Poseidon"

"Speaking of, How's Luke?"

There was a moment of silence before you replied.

"Fine"

"Just 'fine' ? No ungodly things happening?"

"No" You could've bursted out laughing.

"I don't believe you, C'mon tell me some elaborate details"

You raised your brow, a mischievous glint appearing in your eyes.

"Actually, if you finished that, i'll tell you"

The Hephaestus boy huffed and went back to work

After an hour, Felix finished repairing the door and bid you a goodbye (Along with a side-eye)

__

It was now 11 pm, the Campfire sing-along ended almost an hour ago, and you were in your cabin, re-arranging your stuffed toys for the 5th time, (Making one plushie lay beside you will cause chaos among the plushies)

"Carrie..You go here and..Princess should be right....here, Done!"

All of your plushies were in order when you heard a knock from the window near your bunkbed. then, you saw luke, still in his usual camp shirt, unlike you who was in your rather inappropriate pajamas.

His eyes first landed on you, he then grinned before groaning and landing on your soft bunk bed.

"Hey ives-"

"Luke, what're you doing here?!" You hissed, afraid that your half siblings might caught you two.

"Can i not see you?"

"You can, but not at this time" You huffed, But he was still grinning before pulling a flower pot, with a rose.

"I grew this for you, Ives" He whispered, His eyes carefully scanning you expression before you chuckled.

"You know i can grow this in seconds?"

"Mhm, But still, I love you 'till the very last rose in this entire world wilt into ash"

A smile graced upon your lips before luke grabbed your cheeks and kissed you, the flowerpot fell into your bed, the soil staining your new bedsheet, You couldn't care less.

You deepened the kiss by pulling Luke by his neck, and a groan escaped his lips, his calloused hands then slowly went up your shorts making you moan a little, His hands became closer and closer and closer until-

"Luke?"

You two pulled away, Luke's hands were still in your inner thighs, he took a peak into your window and saw Percy, in his cute pajamas with messy blonde hair.

"Percy" Luke breathed.

"What's up?"

"The Apollo cabin seemed to be having a party, the noise is too loud and i can't sleep, i was wondering if you could go see it "

You then peaked into your window, your cheeks were pressed against luke's

"Y/n? Wait..what are you guys doing? and...why are you in her window?" Percy asked, his drowsiness seemed to have vanished.

Luke couldn't even answer percy himself, he started chuckling softly before burying his face into your neck and smothered it with kisses.

Percy then stood still before realizing, he cleared his throat, but before he could leave you called him.

"You know what? I think Luke could actually take a look at those Sun Brats" Luke immediately groaned and looked at you.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. Go help the poor boy"

"Yes Ma'am"

He then got up and just as he was about to climb down your bunk bed you stopped him.

"Nah uh, You can leave where you entered"

The dark haired boy chuckled, and and started climbing down the window, before he could jump back to the ground you kissed him one last time, But this time, the kiss was much more passionate. You could've sworn percy made a gagging face before turning around.

"I love you Ives"

" 'Till the very last rose in this entire world wilt into ash" You said, Luke's eyes soften.

You watched as he and Percy went to the Apollo cabin to resolve the chaos.

The flower potted rose sat in your bed, You took it, and glanced at the beautiful red beauty, You sniffed the fragrance before placing it near your window as you felt Hypnos' warm palm caressing you to sleep.

__

The next day, The first thing you did was bang into Felix's cabin, Giving him every detail from last night as Luke, along with percy watched you from afar.

A/N:

Hey Guys! I've been gone for too long and i just watched the new PJO series and i have to be honest, I fell in love with Charlie as Luke so here's a little treat for you guys while i finish my other fics, i do hope you guys like it!

[slasherbvnnie]

Until We Found You

Hello! This is my first time ever posting onto here, so please excuse any mistakes or any tags that may be missing. I wanted to write about a poly!ghostface au and age up all the characters and place them into college. I hope this gets at least a few reads!

Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI Part VII Part VIII Part IX

Context: Modern Day College Scream AU, Obsessed AFAB!Reader, Eventual Poly!Ghostface x reader, Eventual NSFW, All characters 18+

You bit down on the tip of your pencil, chewing the metal part of it as you spaced out for the hundredth time today. A few days ago news broke of one of your best friends being killed, Casey Becker, and like every day since that fateful night, news reporters were swarming the campus. Woodsboro University was famous overnight for it, a crazed killer on the loose in the town and no one knew why Casey and her boyfriend Steve were the victims. What made it truly unnerving was that no one knew if they were going to be the only ones.

It didn’t make you scared, not really at least, you were more intrigued than worried if you were going to be the next person to get a mysterious phone call. No, you spent the next morning with Randy and learned all about what happened. How Steve was found bound to the chair, duct tape and blood practically branded onto him, and how the Beckers found Casey. She was one of your best friends, you couldn’t deny you felt like you needed some therapy for not crying for more than maybe an hour over her, but something in you was more interested in who did it.

That was what was on your mind for the hundredth time today, any of Casey’s boyfriends all the way to fucking pre-k could be a suspect, maybe her family, or maybe it was some random stranger who decided to take their anger out on an unsuspecting teenage girl. Randy and you talked all first period about your suspicions on who it could be, even accusing each other of being the killer, it did fit after all, the two horror buffs who knew every goddamn easter egg in every horror movie there was, it seemed perfect.

“Sidney, can you please tell your friend the answer to at least make it seem like she was listening?” Ms. Crane asked, Sidney nudging you and whispering the answer as the class laughed. “ah, um, phosphorus gas.” You answered, looking at Sidney with wide eyes after you answered. “Phosphine, but I will take that. You guys can pack up, let me take role before you all leave.” Ms. Crane said with a sigh.

“What’s up with you? Are you totally sure you don’t want to go to the grief counselor after school? I mean even Tate went-“ “Sid, I’m fine, seriously. I just, it’s freaky is all. I mean not knowing who did it? What if they have a thing for college chicks, I think we fit into that category very well and-“ “And we will be fine, it was probably just a one-time thing…I mean it's more likely that it is, right?” Sidney asked as she packed her bag, putting a comforting hand on your shoulder. “Don’t sweat it, if you want you can stay at my place for the week, my dad’s on a trip and I would kinda enjoy the company,” she offered, smiling at you reassuringly. You gave a nod, “yeah, let me just at least spend tonight at my place, my mom will kill me if I miss dinner tonight and take off for a week out of the blue.” “Are you sure you’re really 19 and not 9?” Sidney asked jokingly, earning a laugh from you.

After dinner you had taken a shower, your parents had gone out for the night to take a late-night date- which you theorized was them renting a motel to not risk traumatizing you. You brushed out your hair as you sat down on your vanity chair, putting it into a braid before you went to bed. Your cat was sitting peacefully on your bed, moving every now and then to change her position before darting out of your room. “Irena!” You called after her, scoffing when she didn’t come back to the room. You put your hairbrush down onto your vanity, taking a look in the mirror before getting up from your seat. “I hope you don’t think you are eating even more food, missy, you got fed so much while I was at class today,” you said, acting as if Irena could really understand you. You made your way to your door, nearly walking out before noticing a paper had fallen onto the ground near your desk. You picked it up, reading the headline, Casey Becker and Steve Orth- funerals to be held on Friday the 27th at 9-11 AM. You sighed and set it down on the other papers stacked on your desk.

You walked out of your room, heading downstairs “Irena! Come on, I wanna go to bed,” you whined out, calling the cat to your room. You found her in the living room, hiding under the couch and refusing to come to you. “Fine, I’ll leave you a blanket out and don’t you dare come scratching at my door at 3 AM,” you told her, going to the hallway closet to get a blanket out for her. Once you had gotten one, you spread it out across the couch for her and said goodnight.

You were about halfway to your room when your phone began to buzz, digging it out of your pocket and seeing your mom's number you quickly answered. “Hey, what's up? You guys heading back already,” You asked, continuing up to your room.

“Heading back? Who said I ever left?” A strange voice asked on the other line, making you pause for a moment as you moved to make sure it was your mom. “Listen asshole, I don’t have more than 15 dollars in my bank account so have fun with whatever hot cheetos and mountain dew you can get with that,” you said before hanging up on them, putting your phone back into your pocket. You were up the stairs now, deciding to use the bathroom before you went to bed for the night but before you could open the door your phone rang again. “Didn’t I already say I don’t have money? What the fuck do you want?” You asked angrily, “Irena, right? Like Irena Dubrovna? Who did you prefer, Simone or Natassja?” The same voice asked you, making you look down the stairs. Irena hadn’t moved yet and no one was around her, or at least from what you could see. “If you hurt my fucking cat I will personally cut off your balls and feed them to he-“ A laugh from the caller cut you off, “I don’t have fun with animals. I’m not Bundy or Dahmer, I like to see my victims, human victims…struggle.” You heard your parent's bedroom door open, letting out a scream before running into your room and slamming the door shut, locking it quickly before the person began to bang on it. You looked around, going to your window and trying to lift it open.

The door cracked, it was like the scene from the shining, except this killer bore a white mask, you recognized it from the Halloween store- father death. You struggled with the window again, before giving up and grabbing the lamp from your bedside table and throwing it at them. The killer moved out of the way before they were hit, pushing their body against the door once more and climbing in through the opening. You could see them fiddle with their knife as if they had held it in their hands a hundred times already and were skilled at fidgeting with it.

You grabbed a glass organizer from your desk, taking the scissors from it before chucking the holder at them. The papers you had stacked before scattered from the throw as they fell down. You rushed to the window as they struggled to get up but never heard them stand. When your head whipped around to check if they were behind you, you instead saw them looking at the papers around them.

Masked killer, Casey and Steve headlines, Maureen Prescott, Cotton Weary trials, even the cutouts you had of Sidney from court. You were obsessed. There were drawings, suspects lists, hell all these needed were red kiss marks and ‘please fuck me mr ghostface!’ written in pink glitter pen ink.

You stared wide-eyed at them when you saw their gaze now on you, their head cocked to the side as a laugh sounded from behind the mask. Just then you heard the sound of gravel being crushed around from the driveway, your parent's car was pulling in, you saw them getting out from your window. When you turned back you noticed the person was gone, you ran downstairs and met your parents at the door, crying and beginning to blubber on about what nearly happened. 

[mywifeismothman]

THIS IS KILLING ME.

I picked up tbhk in 2021 thinking it was a silly monster of the week style supernatural comedy. Oh my god, how AidaIro has tricked me. I should have turned back before I got too invested, but tbhk is a part of me now, I think I’d die without it.

IVE BEEN SOBBING FOR THE PAST TEN MINUTES AT MIDNIGHT OVER CHAPTER 120!

Spoiler warning for chapter 120 (read it if you haven’t already and suffer with me):

After chapter 119, this world’s Kou and Mitsuba were basically killed in the red house, once again proving that those two can literally never be happy. When Kou said he’d die for Mitsuba in that one chapter, I don’t think this is what he meant.

But when he says he can’t help them go back, I can’t figure out if he’s talking about Mitsuba or the fact that he’s stuck in the red house. Probably both, as he says something later which implies he’s talking about Mitsuba.

Mostly the red house though, as shown in these panels. Which hit me really hard for some reason.

I started sobbing when I saw these panels though,

Just look at his face, there’s something about the shading and detail in his face which captivates you. Watching the one character who is so fixated on trying to have everyone live die was so heart wrenching.

The parallel between this panel and chapter 118 is killing me. In that chapter, Mitsuba and Kou talk about their bad dreams, ones of the old world where Mitsuba is dead. They don’t want to accept that any of those dreams could be real, promising to each other to live their lives to the fullest, only accepting the dreams as real if they failed to forget.

In this chapter, Mitsuba and Kou were never able to live a life where they could ignore those dreams, almost immediately getting killed. So to Kou, he now had to accept those dreams, with their new reality becoming the bad dream he tells Nene to forget.

This panel also killed me.

He’s clearly talking about Mitsuba, who else could he be talking about. Again showing just how much he means to him. Again, it reminds me of the chapter where Kou talks about dying for Mitsuba, showing that he’ll always be there for him, even in death.

I also want to just talk about poor Nene, look at this panel:

This is the second time that one of her only living friends has had some connection with death, but this is the first time one has straight up disappeared before her eyes. This whole ark has Nene being tormented by death and loss and I hate it.

I wanna touch on Teru quickly. I’ve never loved characters with his type of personality before, but I think this ark has completely changed my mind about him. First, there was that face he made talking about his mother being alive, and then him being forced to exorcise his own brother. Which must have been devastating to Teru, considering that his whole motive is to protect his family, the two he has left. I think this is some of the most emotional we’ve seen in Teru. And I’m crying again

I spent like 30 minutes at midnight typing this out because once again AidaIro has delivered a heartbreaking chapter, and I need to talk about it.

Oh my god, I was so busy crying yesterday I didn’t realize his and Mitsuba’s corpses were in the well.

[padfootagain]

Love in Verses (IV)

Chapter 4 : ‘For he gave all his heart and lost’

Hi, everyone!!! Chapter 4 is here! Lots of angst in these first chapters, but we need to get the plot fully plotting!

I hope you like this series! Tell me what you think!

****

Pairing: Hozier x fem!reader (professor!AU)

Warnings: slow burn, angst, hurt, hurt/comfort, tooth-rotting fluff in later chapters, some scenes in later chapters will have heavy sexual themes even if it’s not explicit nsfw description, so minors here

Summary: Your life seems perfect. You're engaged, your career is thriving as you become an assistant professor at Trinity College, and this Andrew Hozier-Byrne you're sharing an office with seems to be a nice guy you hope to call a friend soon. Life seems to be smiling at you... until everything goes sour. When your fiancé breaks up with you, your perfect world shatters. And when your colleague also gets his heart broken soon after, your shared office seems to be a curse rather than a blessing. But Andrew seems determined to mend your broken hearts... Will things finally go according to plan?

Word Count: 2888

Masterlist for the series – Hozier’s masterlist – Main masterlist

Never Give All the Heart

Never give all the heart, for love Will hardly seem worth thinking of To passionate women if it seem Certain, and they never dream That it fades out from kiss to kiss; For everything that’s lovely is But a brief, dreamy, kind delight. O never give the heart outright, For they, for all smooth lips can say, Have given their hearts up to the play. And who could play it well enough If deaf and dumb and blind with love? He that made this knows all the cost, For he gave all his heart and lost.

W.B. Yeats

You decided to meet in a pub. Frank was staying with his brother for now, you were keeping the flat you used to share. It felt empty without him, filled with blank spaces. Clothes missing in the dresser, a shelf unused in the bathroom, empty spaces on the bookshelves. Every time you looked up while you ate, you expected to see his face and found nothing but a wooden chair instead. And it was killing you slowly, how much you missed him, how much you missed your lives tangled together, sharing space and habits and everything in between.

Frank’s brother’s place wasn’t an option to meet up, and the home he left seemed unfitting, you reckoned that it had witnessed enough farewells already. So, a neutral land it was, a pub you knew but had spent few nights at. Laughter had been shared, along with kisses and drinks, but only a few times, nothing worth crying over.

Only, when you stepped into the pub, easily spotted Frank sitting there, on a chair at a small table with one spot left empty for you opposite him, you could feel the tears rising to your eyes…

It had been two weeks, since Frank had left, and you were still in shock. Reality had started sinking in, you were beginning to understand what it truly meant to lose him. You were beginning to realise that he was truly gone. And what a terrifying thought that was…

He smiled when he saw you approaching, welcoming, like he was genuinely happy to see you. Was he though? Then why did he leave?

You had broken up your engagement, you had to announce the news to your family, had broken down on the phone with them as you did so. You had warned all the people you had invited that this was over, that you and Frank were breaking up, that there would be no wedding, after all. The humiliation was almost as painful as seeing him again. Almost as dreadful as the knowledge that you would not hesitate to take him back, you were hoping to make him change his mind still… that was how desperate you were to get your life back on track, to set it how it should be again.

You said your hellos, you smiled to each other, he seemed emotional to see you as well. You sat down and took off your jacket like you were on autopilot. Something happening outside your own mind, your own chest, your own body. You expected him to tell you about his day, to say something about sport and any of his interests, to order some drinks for you both and to ask you what you wanted to eat tonight after you got home together. Instead, he smiled, asked you if you wanted a drink, and then he looked at you in silence for a moment.

“You look well,” he said, and you congratulated yourself for the efforts you had put in earlier that evening to look somewhat presentable.

“Thanks. You too.”

It was true, he looked surprisingly well, considering he had shattered the last six years merely a couple of weeks ago.

“Thank you for meeting me tonight, it means a lot.”

“Sure, I… I’m glad you called to ask for this. I… I miss you.”

“I miss you too.”

There was so much hope within this stupid, lovesick heart of yours after those words…

You gave him a weak smile, imagined him apologising and asking for forgiveness and begging you to take him back after this crazy mistake of his…

Instead, he asked you about work, you asked him about his day, you chatted for a while, dragging the moment along as if you knew already that things weren’t meant to last anyway, that he was about to break your world again, that you were wrong to hope…

… and eventually, you got to the reason behind his call, to what he wanted to get out of this conversation.

“Look, Y/N… you know you’re important to me. So important… I’m sorry about the wedding. And I’m sorry to have ended things the way I did. I reckon that I should have handled this better, ease you through it better so you wouldn’t hurt so much.”

Every word was a slide from hope to pain, a slope that got steeper and steeper, that pushed you towards the edge of a cliff, to a pit you knew you would fall into because you loved him too much not to.

“I really hope you won’t hate me. I… I know that it was sudden, I know that it might have looked like a shocking decision, and it was, even to me. I really meant to marry you when I proposed, but then, I… I just realised that we weren’t meant for each other. We weren’t meant to spend our entire lives together. And I think that’s okay, really. I still have so much love for you, it’s just… it’s just not strong enough for us to go through with this wedding. Do you understand?”

Slowly, you nodded, trying hard not to cry.

He didn’t love you enough…?

“It’s just… Sometimes, it’s a lot to be with you, to take care of you. It’s not that you’re too much to handle, that’s not what I’m saying. You’re grand, Y/N, you really are. But your career takes a lot of space, you’re moving regularly, and you just… I don’t know. I just want something else, I think. I want… I want someone else.”

He heaved a sigh, rubbing at his forehead like he was the one breaking, like he was the tired one, like it was he who suffered when you struggled not to cry, when you felt the pain of rejection and heartbreak wash over you all over again.

“I still care about you, Y/N. It doesn’t mean that all of my love for you is gone, it only means that… I… I can’t be with you romantically anymore. Do you understand? But I… Y/N, I don’t want you out of my life. I care about you too much, you are too important to me. So, would you… What would you say if I asked for us to remain friends?”

Friends… the word echoed in a mixture of horror, pain and disappointment.

Friends… you should have been about to get married, engaged, in love… and instead he wanted friendship?

It was such a blow to your pride, your self-esteem. But then you thought about it, and a glimmer of hope was alit again, foolish and sickeningly in denial.

But if you remained friends, you would keep in touch, you would keep on seeing him.

And if you remained friends, perhaps you could make him see reason, show him that you were the one he belonged with. You wouldn’t be able to do that if you didn’t talk or see each other.

Friends…

He reached for your hand across the table, sneaking his arm between his drink and yours, hand warm against your cold fingers.

“I don’t want to lose you, Y/N. You’re so important to me. I just… don’t think that it would work out for us if we keep on having a romantic relationship, that’s all. It doesn’t change the fact that I care about you. So much, Y/N…”

You stared at his blue eyes, the blond hair you used to run your fingers through. He was making a mistake, and that was all there was to say about it.

“Okay,” you breathed out, the word escaping without you even noticing its passing of your lips.

He raised a surprised eyebrow, and yet he had a relieved expression painted over his features.

“Really?”

“Yeah, okay. We can still be friends.”

“Oh, Y/N! You can’t imagine how happy I am to hear you say that!”

Happy…

You swallowed back the lump in your throat, forced a smile.

You would make him see reason, he was making a mistake, nothing more…

Things would get back to normal, and you would have your life back. You would have your life back…

She wanted to come over, Andrew wanted to refuse at first. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to see his partner, of course he longed for her company. Except, tonight, he was busy. Busy sorting out his thoughts, busy worrying about the sadness that surrounded his colleague, busy worrying about his father, whose medication had been slightly changed, busy trying to write and coming with nothing but a blank page.

It used to be easier, to fill up blank spaces. When he was younger, in his late teens to early twenties, he filled notebooks after notebooks with song lyrics and poems. When Sam and Andrew had met, it was so easy for him to write about love. He was awestruck by her all the time, and he still was, in a way. But then they had grown out of the naïve phase of youth, into proper adults; ones that thought about rent, about food, about taxes, about sacrifices, about laundry and grocery lists and the work to be done the next day. She had turned him down when he had offered for them to move in together, had always refused to speak about marriage. And Andrew tried hard to hide how much her reaction saddened him. It turned off a switch in him, the words were harder to find these days. Growing up, or rather, starting to grow older, that was tough work, tricky work. The kind that left all poetry behind.

He still wrote, the two books he had published were proof, as well as the poems he published regularly in journals. But these days, he couldn’t get a word down, and how was he supposed to communicate and let his feelings out when he struggled so much saying them out loud? Speeches had never been his strong suit, it was through the mask of metaphors, the rhythm of rimes, the cadence of alliterations that he managed to express himself. It was therapeutic, in a way.

But in the past few weeks, Andrew had not written a word. He was too worried for that. There was something off with Sam, and he didn’t know what it could be. It made him anxious. He tiptoed around her a lot these days, worried about what would happen if they started fighting over anything, no matter how small the issue. Perhaps that was why he couldn’t write, he wasn’t sure… No matter the reason, his sudden inability to produce anything even vaguely decent made him spiral into doubts and anxiety. He didn’t need that to second-guess his decisions, to doubt his own worth…

He heaved a sigh, closing his laptop, checking the time. Almost 9 p.m, Sam would soon be there. As if on cue, Elwood barked twice when a knock on the door broke the silence of Andrew’s flat.

She was early, as per usual, when he was always late to everything. It annoyed her to no end.

Andrew went to open the door, welcomed Sam with a forced smile, but she seemed not to notice. She merely hummed a hello, let him kiss her cheek, before walking inside the flat. Elwood approached, unhurried, looked up in hope to be petted. Sam granted him a few scratches, before turning away. The dog merely huffed, and walked over to Andrew, rubbing his side against his human’s leg, looking for the attention he craved for. Andrew granted it to him easily.

“How was your day, baby?” he asked Sam in a sweet tone, but she shrugged, waiting for Andrew to move out of the hallway and into the living room.

“Not much. You?”

“I’m fine, yeah.”

He wanted to talk about his research, and how he wanted to start writing a new article, how he was almost done planning out his class for Yeats’s poetry, how sad you looked still, how worried he was for his family these days. Instead, Sam claimed the conversation, and he didn’t try to fight against it so he could speak again.

“I wanted to talk to you, Andy.”

“Sure, what’s up?” he asked back, standing straighter, quitting Elwood’s petting and following Sam to sit on his sofa.

She seemed nervous, in a way she rarely was around him. He was nervous too now, had a bad feeling about all of this.

“I don’t know how to say this,” she spoke in a weak voice, he reached for her hand to reassure her.

“Straightforwardly,” he answered with a smile.

He pushed back a strand of hair behind his ear, tiredly adjusted his glasses. Slowly, she nodded, took a deep breath before speaking.

“Andy… you know how important you are to me. You’re… you’re the first man I ever truly loved, the first person I could see myself with on the long run. And I care about you, about your happiness… I care so much. And this is very hard for me to do this to you, to us, but…”

She took another deep, slow breath, and Andrew could see the tears in her eyes, the way she struggled to hold them back. He knew what was coming, didn’t want to think it true, but it was.

He knew his world was about to get shattered before she spoke the words he dreaded.

“I’ve been happy with you, genuinely happy. But this… I’m so sorry, Andy, but I think we need to break up.”

Andrew blinked at her, his brain refusing to understand her words, refusing to work now. He forced himself back to the present, forced himself to repeat her words.

Break up…

“What… What do you mean? What do you mean ‘break up’? You… you want us to take a break?”

“No, Andy. I want us to break up. For good. I’m so sorry.”

“But, I… I love you. We’re… we’re good together, we… we belong together.”

“I’m sorry, Andy. But I don’t think that’s true anymore.”

“What triggered this? Did I do something wrong? Are you angry at me? I… I can change for you. I can make things better. I can make you happy, do whatever you want me to do…”

“I’m sorry… there’s nothing to do. It’s not… it’s not you. I just feel like… we’re not on the same page, anymore. We were so young when we got together, we’ve grown into different people. I… I’m sorry.”

“Why now? What happened?”

“Nothing…”

“I know you, Sam. I know you better than anyone. I know you’re lying. What happened? What triggered this?”

“Andy…”

“I don’t want you to leave… we can make things work!”

“We can’t…”

“We can make efforts, we can…”

“I don’t want to, Andy. I’m sorry. I just… I love you, but… not enough, anymore.”

These were the words that made him break, that turned his desperate tone into silence, his begging eyes into teary ones. He started crying.

She didn’t love him anymore…

Not enough…

“But I love you…”

“I’m sorry, Andy.”

He let tears overcome him, drown him into silence. Sam was crying as well, but not as violently.

“Why? Why now?”

“I just… nothing, I just…”

But she fell silent, and Andrew wasn’t a fool.

“Is there someone else?”

She looked away, looking guilty.

This couldn’t be happening…

“We met just about two months ago. I just… I think I’m falling in love with him. And if I can love him, it means I don’t love you the way I should anymore…”

He buried his face in his hands.

This could not be happening…

He refused to ask her if she had been having an affair, Andrew knew he didn’t have the strength to hear her answer.

He was falling; falling into an endless pit and he would die once she would have left with the ground in her care.

They fought after that, he tried to hold her back. And perhaps she didn’t deserve it, but Andrew was in love, and he had thought for years that she was the one, that them, their couple, was the constant element in his life. He fought for her, there was nothing he could do. When she said she would only be happy with someone else, he let her go.

He cried all night, called in sick the next day. He answered your worried email, explaining what had happened in a clear, concise way that left out any detail. You said you were sorry. It didn’t make him feel better at all. In the evening he got so drunk he had no memory left of that night in the morning. For a moment he thought none of this had happened, the pain through his skull was too vivid for that. But then reality came back, and when he hurried to the bathroom to throw up, he wasn’t sure whether he was sick because of the remnants of alcohol in his system or because of the pain of losing her.

When she texted a few days later asking if they could still stay in touch, Andrew was too heartbroken to see the red flags. He answered yes, dreamt of having Sam back in his bed, thought about ways to win her over again, and fell asleep that night out of exhaustion and too many tears.

[spookyscarydemonbabe]

Brand New

A/N- This is my very first fully written fic for Bill and i couldn’t be more excited to post it 🤭 i’ve struggled a little bit with writing something in full for him, I’m still trying to get a grasp on his character, but i hope that my interpretation goes along with how others interpret him too 🥰 i personally have a little bit of experience with nerd culture, horror movies specifically, so i used some of my knowledge to help this one go along a little more smoothly 😅 i’m trying to get the comics read through, but for now all ive watched for the last month is the Eltingville Club pilot and i’m OBSESSED

Summary- Bill isn’t too enthusiastic about the new neighbors moving in, but his mind changes as he watches the movers bringing in a few pieces of memorabilia he recognizes. He gets confused, however, when he sees just one pretty girl wander in after the owners.

Genre- Fluff (?)

Warnings- Normal vulgar thoughts of super nerdy guys who have never felt the touch of a woman

Tag List- No tag list yet! Please let me know if you’d like to be added 🖤

Word Count- 3.1k

Bill yawned at the breakfast table in the kitchen, picking at the leftover scraps of scrambled eggs on his plate.

The night before was a long one, as always. Another club meeting, another series of arguments over who actually won during their game of Street Fighter, another rewatch of Return of the Jedi just to see Carrie Fisher in that metal bikini they can never get out of their heads. It was always how he spent his Friday nights, he just wished the Saturday mornings would be a bit more interesting.

They were always the same. He’d wake up, do his normal morning routine, and sit at the breakfast table waiting for a call from one of the guys to see if they were still up for going out after nearly killing each other the night before.

Bill enjoyed how routine everything was, but every now and then he’d hope that something, anything, could interrupt their normal schedule and give them something else to sneak into their routine. And when he heard the loud screeching of a moving truck stopping outside, he perked up almost immediately.

“Bill!” His mother called from the living room, “I’m taking Jane to the mall with her friends, keep the noise down and don’t bother the new people next door!” She shouted, just before the front door slammed shut.

At least he’d be able to watch the new people move in by himself and get a good read on them.

He tossed his plate into the sink and ran upstairs, ignoring the phone ringing downstairs and waiting to finally pick it up until he made it to his room.

“Hello?” He said as he picked up the phone from the handset on his nightstand, shutting his bedroom door and watching out the window for whoever could be moving in next door.

“Hey, are we still up for today?” It was Pete, calling to confirm wether or not Josh threatening to burn Bills comic collection was a deal breaker for them going to the movies to see whatever sci-fi flick came out that week.

“Uh, yeah, sure.” Bill said, half listening as he watched the movers lift up the back of the truck.

“You sure?” Pete asked on the other end, “You sound a little distracted.”

“Yeah…” Bill trailed off as the movers began lifting out the boxes to one another and bringing them into the house next door, doing his best to read the sharpie labels written on the sides, “Yeah, sure. Just uhh…” He glanced over at the clock, 11:57 am, “Why don’t you guys get here in an hour and we’ll go, alright?” Bill kept watching the boxes get lugged inside and his attention was grabbed by the car that pulled into the driveway. He saw the two front doors open and an older couple stepped out, the new owners he figured. He was just about to finish his spying until you caught his attention.

He watched as the back drivers side door opened, and as you stepped out of the car to stretch, Bills eyes widened.

You were breathtaking.

Even in your comfies, no doubt from the long drive, and with your hair done messily, he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. He’d be forever grateful to finally live next to someone of your beauty. Stuck under your trance, he had completely forgotten about the phone in his hand.

“Bill!” Pete shouted, finally grabbing his attention back.

“Yes?! What?!” Bill shouted back as he kept watching you, gasping and reeling back from his window as his shouts caught your attention. Your eyes met for a nanosecond, but it was longer than he wanted. If he could manage to go the entire length of you living in that house without so much as a wave to one another he’d be in bliss. Watching you from afar and admiring everything you did from the confines of his bedroom or basement. But now you knew he was there. And he was fucked.

“We’ll be there in an hour, alright? See you then.” Pete hung up the phone, but Bill didn’t even notice.

He was too caught up in the fact that this was probably the closest he’ll get to a girl as pretty as you, and that’s only because you’d be living right next door. His mind was wandering to all those same places it would go to any time he had a new muse.

So far this month it had been Jade from Mortal Kombat, Terri from Anaconda, and now you. And he knew you’d be the one on his mind the longest.

He couldn’t help himself.

Hell, he didn’t even know your name, but he wanted to so badly. He knew he could never let himself get that close to you.

Bill sighed to himself, setting the phone onto the floor next to him as he thought of you. Being on of his beautiful ensigns in his Captain Kirk fantasies, dressed up in Leia’s metal bikini as you begged him to rescue you from Jabba, trapped in the chains of an evil sorcerer with a tattered and revealing princess dress while he and the rest of his D&D party came to your aid. He couldn’t stop.

Bill shook his head, trying to get those thoughts out of his head, but the sudden sound of a few boxes dropping and your shouts were definitely able to help. He turned his head back to carefully peek out the window and saw you next to what looked like a dropped box, a few of the contents fallen out, still wrapped up on bubble wrap.

“Be careful!” You shouted to the movers, “This stuff was expensive…”

Bills eyes widened as he saw what he thought was a few recognizable slasher masks, mint condition, wrapped up in vintage plastic packaging as you unwrapped the bubble wrap to see if they had broken.

Bill watched closer, his hands up on his windowsill to prop himself up as he watched you put the last of the called objects into the box and pick it up, carrying it inside the house yourself. As he watched you walk inside, he tried to make out the name on the side of the box,

“(y/n)‘s room…” He whispered to himself as he stared out at the spot you walked from, hoping to see you once more.

Bill was caught off guard at the sound of footsteps making their way inside the room across from his, and when he saw you enter with the box he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. Even with getting a closer look at you, he knew it would be hard to not keep his eyes on that window to get a peek at you every chance he could.

He watched as you set the box down onto the floor, a few movers following in behind you, lugging in bigger and heavier boxes and setting them hard onto the floor. Bill could hear your frustrated groans and did his best to keep himself hidden, but the stack of comics next to him had other plans.

As Bill leaned himself up further to get a quick peek inside your room, they had fallen over onto the floor, knocking down the plastic bin filled with various half painted mini figurines for their D&D board. He dove to the ground to keep the sound from grabbing your attention, but when he heard your shouts he knew he was done for.

“Hey!” You shouted to him from outside your window, “I know you’re there, don’t ignore me.”

Bill cursed at himself for his stupidity before slowly standing up, his cheeks flushed knowing he was caught.

“You know,” You said as you stepped back from the open window, “If you’re going to spy, you can at least try to not get yourself caught. I could see you watching us in the driveway.”

Bill wasn’t sure what to say.

He was caught red handed, and he had never had someone call him out on his behavior so quickly. He felt compelled to apologize but it felt so foreign to him. He managed to muster out a quick and quiet,

“Sorry…” as he stood there before his open window.

“It’s fine…” You said, an audible eye roll in your tone, “Don’t do it too often, ok? You’re not going to be one of those perverts that tries to watch me change through the window, are you?” You crossed your arms over your chest, and though the thought definitely had crossed Bill’s mind, he knew he wouldn’t stand a chance now. It was almost like you knew his every move.

All he could do was stand there quietly, shaking his head.

“Good.” You closed your window halfway, going back to the boxes on your floor to begin unpacking as a few more of the movers bought in a couple more boxes.

Bill couldn’t help himself from watching you carefully unpack the boxes after slamming the bedroom door behind the movers.

One of them was flatter than the others, and he watched you place it on top of one of the bigger boxes before peeling the tape off and opening the top flaps. It was full of posters and prints of various sizes, each one of them had a different horror movie monster or scene on it.

Bill sat at the edge of his bed, watching you take out one of the rolls of tape the movers left with the boxes and begin placing them all over the walls.

He couldn’t believe a few of the ones he saw you put up.

A vintage Jaws poster with black sharpie scribbled over the title, no doubt the autographs of Richard Dreyfuss, Roy Scheider and Robert Shaw. The one next to it was a printed scene from Night of The Living Dead, Barbara being chased through the cemetery by Johnny. The last one he watched you put up was unmistakable, and he was shocked such a pretty girl would be into something like it…

It was a black light poster for Cannibal Holocaust, and it was more graphic than the movie poster itself. He could see the scene of the impaled girl in his head as he looked at the poster, shaking his head to get his thoughts together, but not before blurting out,

“Is that Cannibal Holocaust?” Out the window to you.

it was loud enough to catch your attention, and just as you had found the perfect spot for your Toxic Avenger poster. You wandered back over towards the window, lifting it up the rest of the way and poking your head out,

“What did you say?”

“Is that…” Bill asked, his voice quiet as he pointed out the poster behind you, “Is that from Cannibal Holocaust?”

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, quickly looking back at the poster behind you to confirm his suspicions,

“Oh. Yeah, it is.” You nod to him, “Why?”

Bill shrugged, not expecting his sudden outburst to turn into a conversation with you,

“I just… recognized it.” He said with a nervous quiver, “Didn’t know girls liked that stuff…”

“Yeah, well, I like that stuff.” You said with a shrug, keeping the window open as you went back to hanging up your posters and prints.

Bill nodded to himself, trying so hard to take his eyes off of you, but the revelation that this gorgeous girl next door could be into the same cheesy gory horror movies as him was too interesting for him to not want to know more.

He kept his distance, sensing a bit of hostility in your tone, but his curiosity was getting the best of him. He tried to get a decent look at the other things you had been unpacking.

Clothes, books, a few VHS tapes, but what really caught his eye was when you opened up the box that had been dropped outside.

He watched you carefully unwrap each piece of memorabilia from its bubble wrap, and he was surprised to see a few of the things that were inside.

A few vintage halloween masks still in their plastic packaging, along with Jason’s hockey mask, Freddy’s finger knives, and what looked to be an exact replica of the Book of the Dead from The Evil Dead. So many things from so many different movies and he was still so surprised that such a pretty girl would be interested in things like that. Things that are dark and grotesque, things that are terrifying to most people, things that he figured only him and the guys liked until you came along. Bill was so used to having girls turn the other way at the sight of these kinds of things, and yet you embraced them. It only made him more and more interested in seeing what else you had hidden away in those boxes. Wether it was more memorabilia, or hopefully you’d stumble upon a box filled with intimates for him to fantasize about later. Either way, he was intrigued.

“You stare a lot, you know that?” You said as you kept unpacking in your bedroom.

Bill realized that he hadn’t even noticed how long he had been peering into your room,

“Oh. Sorry.” He reeled back slightly as he felt the blood rush to his face.

Why was he acting this way?

He had never felt so intrigued by a girl without even knowing her name. He had his fair share of crushes before, not being able to stop himself from staring whoever he saw them out and about and he tried so hard to make himself seem confident in front of them and it never worked. He knew he would scare them off without as much as a ‘Hi’ from them, and yet you were still talking to him. He was hoping it wasn’t just from the forced proximity.

“I don’t mean to stare. I just don’t think i’ve seen that much horror memorabilia in one place…” He stepped further to the window for a closer peek into your room, excited to see some clothes starting to be laid out onto the mattress of your bed, but seeing a wide variety of movies, books and merchandise scattered around as you unpacked caught his attention in a way that nothing else could. It felt as if he was being drawn to it by a force he could only describe as ‘want’.

“Oh…” You turned and looked around your still somewhat empty room, seeing all the different pieces of your personality from a different perspective, “I guess i do have a lot of stuff. I’ve been collecting for a while, I guess i just didn’t notice.”

“Not that it’s a bad thing!” Bill said quickly, almost shouting as he finally found common ground to explore. It wasn’t something huge, but it was better than nothing, “I’ve been building a collection of my own for quite a while.” Bill chuckled nervously before stepping back from the window to give you a better view of the inside of his room.

You slowly stepped up to the glass, lifting it back up all the way as you peeked inside of his bedroom. And it was a lot more than you were expecting.

Walls completely covered with video game and comic book posters, a few older horror movie prints alongside them, shelves covered in comics and action figures still in their packaging from god knows how long ago, and you could see the boxes of mini D&D figurines and various VHS tapes all strewn along the floor of his room. Even the tossed aside bedding that was halfway on the floor was themed. You’ve met some super-fan nerds back at home but this was like nothing you’ve ever seen before.

“Wow.” You said with wide eyes, “I don’t think i’ve seen so much stuff in one place before. That’s pretty cool.” You said with a kind smile.

Bills heart was beating faster than it ever had before. Not only was he have a conversation with a girl, a face to face conversation, but you didn’t think it was weird for his room to be completely covered in trinkets and memorabilia.

“Thanks.” He said with a trembling smile, “I’ve got shelves of stuff down in the basement too!”

“You’ve got more of that stuff?” You asked with a giggle, “You must be pretty committed to collecting all that stuff.”

Just as Bill opened his mouth to respond, his attention was pulled to the rapid loud banging on his front door,

“Bill!” He glanced over at his clock and hadn’t noticed that the last hour had passed by so quickly, his anger growing as he heard Josh’s shouts from outside, “We don’t have all day! Hurry up!”

Bill growled, and quickly changed his demeanor as he turned back to you,

“Sorry,” He nervously chuckled, “I didn’t mean to distract you.” His hands reached up to finally shut the window and lock it, but stopped just before closed as he heard your voice.

“Bill?” You asked curiously, “That’s your name?” He nodded as he lifted the window halfway, eager to hear what would come next. He had never once heard a girl other than his mother say his name, and it was so soothing to hear your voice finally say it. “I’m (y/n).” You said with a smile, “I’ll see you around.”

Your kindness was almost overwhelming. Never in his life had he gotten to being on a first name basis with a girl, and yet somehow it felt like it came so easily. You gave him a little wave as you closed your window, flipping the little lock at the top as you went down to grab a few more boxes to bring inside the new empty home.

You were lucky enough to catch Bill running out his front door and into a car filled with three other boys, each of them seeming like they’d probably he just the same as him.

You watched as he climbed inside the back passenger seat, and for just a moment his eyes caught yours. You picked up a box from the movers and gave him a quick smile, your fingers waving from where they were holding the box as you lifted it. You thought you saw him wave back as the car quickly sped out of the driveway.

You smiled to yourself as you made your way back into the house, placing the box onto the kitchen counter as your parents were putting away the various things they could gather from the boxes into their respective rooms. As unenthusiastic as you were to make the move, it was nice to know that at least there was someone to talk to.

Maybe once everything was unpacked, you’d let Bill see the rest of your collection.

Just maybe.

[musubiki]

I forgot if you talked abt this, but does the whole "being on the same level as mochi" thing ever come up in honest conversation between them? Seems like an entire...thing that really influences lime's choices when it comes to the main conflict. I would think either some time after mochi's over her initial jealousy, or heck wayyy after they stop the witch king

oooo youre right i dont think ive talked much about it or at all.,... but YEAH a very key part of limes character is his need to be on the same level as her...partly a pride thing, partly a "i dont feel like i have the right to stand beside her unless i can compete with her" thing

(sorry for the long post rambles, apparently i have a lot more thoughts on this than i thought it did)

but actually this comes up WAY sooner, its WAY too big of an elephant in the room post-timeskip to go un-talked about. pre-timeskip lime could kind of quietly work away at trying to be better, but post-timeskip the m-34th thing is too obvious of a flag for mochi to think everything is okay with him

i think the issues really starts to be hashed out when mochi, at some point (relatively quickly after they reunite), brings up the notion of him quitting the m-34th. to an extent she understood why he joined, he gave her a bunch of reasons why he joined the regiment in the first place (jumping around a bunch of excuses like "They have good benefits" / "I was bored" / etc before finally telling her the truth that "I wanted to find you"), but what she didnt understand is why he stays in

she gave it a bit of time, they went through the whole "well you left me" vs "you joined the organization that exists to kill us" -> "call it even, water under the bridge" thing, and she thought that after a few weeks (months?) he would quit and just be part of her guild again, but he doesnt.

and when she asks him about it, he dodges the question, gives shit answers, dismisses it, a bunch of different things with the underlying message being "I'm not leaving you, but I'm not gonna quit working for them."

and she doesnt want to give him the "choose me or them" ultimatum either (even though pom seems all for it), because 1.) it feels like a shitty thing to do to him, if hes fighting this hard to stay in she doesnt want him to be unhappy, and 2.) shes afraid he might actually choose them

she starts to think a lot of things, that maybe he harbors some bitterness towards her, maybe he doesnt want to put all his eggs in one basket, maybe hes secretly feeding them information on her behind her back, ALL kinds of things.

eventually (and upsettingly) she gets the truth from clarinette. it takes fucking clarinette babbling her mouth away for mochi to get something that she hasnt gotten from lime himself. clarinette (in her delulu) wants to brag a little in the vein of "Haha he confided in me and not in you haha," and mentioned that when she asked him why he stays, he told her "The m-34th makes me stronger" or something along those lines.

and mochis first thought is "I can make him stronger too, he doesnt need to go to them."

and when she CONFRONTS him and tells him this, he gives her a flat "No, you can't." and it FEELS very cold when he says it. she can see the bitterness (bitterness???) behind his eyes when he says it. and its not a bitterness TOWARDS HER, its more of a "I spent 2 years before you left trying everything I could to make myself worthy of you this, and it did nothing. I would take 1 step forward and you would take 5. I'm not going back to that."

so this confrontation became one of those make it or break it conversations for lime, because his only two options were 1) tell mochi the actually pretty embarrassing and pathetic truth, or 2) risk losing her because shes already doubting him enough as it is

i think he probably tries route 2 first though. and whatever it is he tells her, he can see something in her eyes (mistrust? failing faith? fear?) which tells him "Oh no, oh shit, oh god, backtrack you idiot, BACKTRACK!!!" because if he lets this narrative go on for even a few minutes more, hes not going to be able to come back from it.

so he eventually actually does tell her the truth!! and he hates doing it. he really does feel pathetic. its so petty and stupid, he thinks. he shouldnt be trying to compete with the cat witch, hes supposed to be supportive. but he fucking hates being ONLY supportive. he wants to add something, contribute something meaningful, not just be a little accessory/sidekick to mochi.

and (as already mentioned) he cant do that without the m-34th. pre-timeskip he felt useless. and relative to mochi, he was. she wont say it, but she didnt need him. she would reassure him and tell him "You're amazing Lime!" but deep down she knew that after Amanita was dealt with and she was the full-fledged cat witch, she could do all of it on her own (and proves it when she leaves and takes none of them with her). she liked having him there (obviously), but anything he could do she could do better.

he felt like he just took up space, and when she left without telling him or taking him with her, it essentially proved his point. it was not even just a "I dont need you" thing anymore, it was now a "I don't need you, and I also know you don't have the means or ability to change that" and that fucking HURT.

the m-34th though....those guys really honed the shit out of his strengths. on an insane level. they gave him so many skills and tools as a black canvas to do SO MANY THINGS and SO WELL, and maybe this does bring up some resentment to the guild and magic?? that he had so much untapped potential that mochi could just not bring out in an effective way, it essentially bottlenecked him (not her fault, its hard to build the talents of an anti-magic person by using magic).

but these guys...as "bad" as they are (so the witches say), they gave him (and still give him) the power to change that which he hated about himself the most. so that "I don't need you, and I also know you don't have the means or ability to change that" thing can finally FINALLY be met with "Yeah you do, and yeah I fucking can."

so all these feelings manifest as "I won't leave the m-34th because they make me strong enough to stand by your side and not at your feet." AND THEY DO!!!!!! and he probably doesnt say those words directly but everything he DOES say communicates it enough for mochi to see it

(and he probably tells her all of this. she just listens)

so mochi, eventually, understands this. it took the whole pre-timeskip period and some of the post-timeskip period to get there, but she understands him a little more now (and a side of him she didnt know was there). i dont think theres anything she can do to change this aspect of him, but she at least understands his reasons and respects his freedom to pursue that which gives him peace, even if it conflicts with her uh.....occupation (nature?) as a witch. she also can tell him, without any lies or nice little reassurances that "You really are amazing, Lime." in a way she could never be, and he got there on his own, without her. i think shes happy just to know the truth, and know that hes not like betraying her or something. also she probably finds it kinda sweet that he works so hard to stand by her, but tries not to let it go to her head (or her heart) because at least half of it is a lime pride thing and not a mochi love thing

he also throws in a very lime-esq ending on it like "There I said it happy now??? Never make me talk about this again." while completely red-faced. he really does hate this side of himself but he cant help it.

[slashmagpie]

Blood & Snow

Pt. I

Directory: {Pt. II} {Pt. III} {Pt. IV} {Pt. V} {Pt. VI} {Pt. VII} {AO3}

Welcome to my @hermithorrorweek fic! I spent a while trying to figure out seven different fic concepts based on the prompt, and kept coming up blank, up until I decided to combine them all and write a single fic, with each prompt being the theme for a different chapter. Blood & Snow is the result, and at the time of posting it is not quite complete, but I'm excited to share it with you nonetheless. I'm hoping to post a chapter once per day, but later chapters may be delayed depending on how long it takes me to get them written. Some of this builds off concepts I played with in some of my earlier Decked Out 2 ficlets, which you can find in my writing tag. TWs for this chapter include: non-consensual body modification*, unreality*, panic attacks

I. GAME MECHANICS

Game design is simple, really.

Well, no, it’s difficult—but the principles behind it are simple. Make it fun. Make it challenging. Make it rewarding. 

Decked Out 2 is a game.

To be more precise, it’s a long-running, deck-building, dungeon-crawling game. It’s competitive. It has rewards—bragging rights, for one. Trophies, for another. If you win, you can get crowns, and buy things to make you more powerful, to make the game more fun. You get frost embers, which are used to build the deck, and—

Clank is Decked Out’s central mechanic. Trigger a shrieker, generate clank. Easy as that. Taking your artefact will also generate clank, because it angers the spirits of the dungeon. That’s another important thing about game design: atmosphere. Design. Having something that feels cohesive. So—no, max clank isn’t quite as dangerous as it should be, but very few mobs would work to replace the vex, because, well, they’re not the spirits of the dungeon, and—

Hazard is generated every thirty-seven seconds, roughly. It used to be thirty, but that lined up with card draws, and the sound cues were hard to keep track of. So. Hazard is generated every thirty-seven seconds, roughly. Hazard makes the dungeon more dangerous to traverse, by closing doors, raising pathways, and otherwise making certain routes more dangerous or downright impossible to cross. People underestimate hazard at first, but quickly find out that hazard kills. When clank maxes out, that turns into hazard too, because max clank wasn’t dangerous enough by itself, because the vexes aren’t doing their damn jobs—

There were two older systems that got replaced. Not a lot of people know that. Focus could be built up, would synergise with other cards, but it was just—it wasn’t working. It got reworked. No one would miss it. Delve was a difficulty setting, but it was dumb, just press a button to choose your difficulty, that works way better, and—

Game design is simple, really. 

Decked Out is not a game.

Had it ever been a game? In its first iteration, back in season seven, had it hungered the way it does now? Had it slept, slumbering beneath the earth, soaking in blood that would slowly, slowly bring it to life? When the idea had wormed its way into Tango’s head, a sequel—had that been his own thought? Does it matter if it was?

He’d certainly thought it was. Began drafting up plans, re-evaluating what he’d done in the past and putting better spins on them. Decked Out 2 would be huge, would be the biggest project he’d ever worked on, but it wouldn’t take that long. Surely.

…Thirteen months later, Decked Out 2 opened its doors.

Thirteen months. It had started as a hole, as many things do. A hole, a build, a plan, a citadel—Tango had thrown himself into it like he would with any huge project. And at first it had been—it had been a project. A build, a game. A giant hole filled with promise. A castle built in a week. Just Hermitcraft things. The usual.

When had it started? When he’d dug, and dug, for hours and hours upon end? When he’d carved jagged-looking scars into the landscape and dragged the citadel up from them? When he’d started building level one? When he’d begun assembling the redstone? When the ravagers and wardens began to roam its halls? When did Decked Out come alive?

…Had it always been alive?

Okay, better question: when did—

A frozen shard is placed into the barrel. The door lights up, sounds play. The door opens. The hermit—Joe?—begins to take off their armour and items and set up the game. A difficulty button is pressed. A shulker is placed into its slot. The cards begin to filter through the system. A minecart ride, and a pressure plate—

Decked Out turns on.

The Dungeon watches carefully, hungrily. A shrieker triggers. A hazard door closes. The game is running, the game is alive, the game is always alive—

The Dungeon Master floats, untethered, bodiless, watching, speaking, unheard, unseen. His body stands in the dark, empty, eyes sightless and lungs unbreathing. Why would he need to breathe? Dungeons don’t need to breathe, after all. Games don’t need to breathe. And Decked Out isn’t a game, not really, but it still works on principles of game design, and none of those principles require the game to breathe.

So the Dungeon watches, and the Dungeon Master watches, and Joe runs straight into the blood-stained horns of a ravager, and—

And—

Tango tries to blink. To breathe. A hazard door slams open and closed. The wires are crossed, that’s not—he needs to go—an attempt to step forward dispenses a stack of frost embers into the dungeon. They’re not supposed to do that. That’s a bug, he needs to fix—

He needs his hands—

Stone walls aren’t fingers, but they flex all the same, groaning under the strain—

There’s an itching in his legs. Skulk creeps up the walls. This wasn’t supposed to happen. This isn’t—

It’s dark. A warden sniffs. A shrieker howls. Stone becomes sinew becomes skulk becomes shadow becomes smoke becomes a soul. The Dungeon Master wrenches open his sightless eyes, and the Dungeon sees—

(Buildings aren’t meant to have panic attacks. Neither are dungeons. Nor games. But Decked Out is not a game, never really has been, and Tango—)

Joe and Hypno stare in bafflement at the flickering availability metre outside of the dungeon. “Tango, fix your game!” Hypno cries, and—

Ha.

Here’s a better question: when did Tango become Decked Out?

[aropride]

long vent post abt covid + my sister

i genuinely dont know when the last time my little sister wasnt sick for more than two weeks was. im trying to remember but i cant . its been almost constant since she got covid in dec2021. and she has all these new allergies and symptoms and stuff she had as a baby came back after. and my parents are like antivax antimask "its just a cold" conspiracy theorists and they arent going to protect her they only got her her mandatory vaccines bc our doctor finally made them and theyre convinced shes always sick bc of the vaccines and not bc of covid. and i know theres nothing i can say or do that will get through to them. and i know my sister doesnt understand Why shes sick all the time so of course shes going to believe our parents because shes a kid why wouldnt she believe them. and i know eventually she'll figure out why shes so sick. when long covid gets talked about more when i figure out how to explain it to her etc eventually she'll find out and it's going to like. ruin her view of our parents and the world at large

and i spent my whole childhood since the day she was born making it like my lifes mission to keep her safe but i had no hope of protecting her against this there was no way i could have done much but my parents could have and should have and now they blame it all on the vaccines its because the doctor gave her vaccines no it isnt!!! no it is not!!! and every time i see her or facetime her or she sends me an audio message i hear the crackle in her throat and i dont know if it will ever go away

and if youre not looking for it youll miss it but if you go in public and sit and listen .youll hear the coughing and sniffling and the crackle in people's throats. i keep my windows open bc my dorm gets too hot and all day i hear people walking by and coughing. my only other covid cautious friend has noticed it. none of my non cc friends have. but i swear to god it's there sit in a library for a few hours and listen it's there it gets worse every year. and nobody even notices and people look at you weird when you mention that everyone's been getting sicker recently

but they are they fucking are ive read the studies ive looked at the data. everyone's sick all the time and they dont even notice it they go "it's the freshman flu" "it's allergies" you arent even a freshman you dont even have allergies. "man ive just been so short of breath recently" then i'm the crazy one if i say the obvious reason for that. i feel fucking crazy i know im not im looking at the studies im looking at the data im learning the science but nobody will listen

i share covid data and protection and everything on instagram all the time im always talking about it because im always thinking about it because i hear it everywhere and nobody listens nobody is masking and i dont understand why i dont understand how - i heard someone cough out my window just now - i don't understand how social pressure can win over the objective truth when the objective truth is killing and disabling people. how do people not care??? i need people to care one-way masking is better than nothing but so much could have been prevented if people would just put on the fucking mask

what am i even supposed to do when everyone's just accepted being sick forever when people dont 'even notice how fucked up their bodies are becoming when people seem to think it could never happen to them and they don't seem to care that they can and will pass it to other people even if they never are symptomatic . how are we supposed to live like this??? are we going to reach a breaking point or are people just going to fucking die forever??? what will it take for people to start masking again??? to start caring???

i dont know what infection number my sister is on. three that i know of for sure but i'd be shocked if she hadn't had it at least five times. shes thirteen . i dont know what to do

[pumpkinsy0]

OMG HI!!! I’ve been reading ur blog for the past hour and I’m absolutely thrilled to see it lol. I’ve always been a big papercut shipper and seeing other people ship them is a dream come true for my 13 year old self. I wanted to dump some of my headcanons for the outsiders/S.E Hinton Verse mostly because it’s so rare to find people who also like it

I personally see most of the greasers as white. Mostly because of what type of greaser culture the book describes, it’s leant towards white kids back then in the 60s rather than kids of color. But I’ve never seen the Shepards as white. It’s just never something I’ve seen. I grew on a block where everyone raised eachothers kids, as we grew older we joked we were one big mixed family. Ive always see the shepards as that Mexican-American family that I spent my after schools with while my parents were busy.  But that could totally be me projecting Idk

for Johnny I’ve always pictured him as mixed. Probably African American-Italian. He’s described with features that look like people of that heritage look and in my opinion it’s probably one of the main reasons he was targeted. 

For Two-bit I’ve always seen him as a super pasty, always sun-burnt white boy who is super into his European heritage. Like this man can’t deal with school but he’ll do deep dives on Scottish mythology and Vikings any day of the week.

Steve definitely has always looked like he does in the movie to me. He’s definitely a hillbilly, I have cousins who act exactly like him and it’s absolutely hilarious because the deep southern accent just makes them not understandable. I’ve personally viewed Steve having that deep accent and also having a lisp (wowza I’m just projecting on him lol) so no one understands him besides from Soda and the older women who come to the DX.

I’ve always viewed Dally as Italian also but he is the type that can not tan to save his life. His nearly white blonde hair is not just from the bleach he puts on it but from running around in the sun all day every day. There is this one artist that draws him like a gremlin that I love I’m pretty sure their @ is something among the lines of crow1121? I can’t find rn and it’s killing me lol. But the other artist is @/ nutsackx and I absolutely love their interpretation of the gang 

Honestly with the Curtis’s I love ur interpretation of them being Arab-American but my little projecting heart (wow I do that a lot) always have viewed them as a German-Jewish and Romani as that’s what my family is and they lived very similar lives back in the 60s. It’s a small little head cannon I’ve always had and I’ve always held onto for the Curtis family. I can’t ever view them as non-immigrants tho. 

Sorry this is so long sweetie. I just got super caught up in rambling and your blog really inspired me 🫶

HELLLOOOOO!!! glad u found this blog!!! we r all here for funsies and just doing whatever, glad to have u onboard<333

OKOK NOW LOOK☝🏽☝🏽i knooowwww SE Hinton wrote the outsiders w everyone but johnny being white in mind, but honestly i think what makes me change them some of em into poc instead is just bc i want to and its fun to me!!!! tbh, i like having different ideas on characters than others, plus part of it is just inspired by the ppl around me!!! at the very least tho, i do tryyyyyy to make it more historically accurate so its not like i just SHOVED them in there and i dont get 100% attacked by the “this isnt historically accurate grrrr” brigade, for example my haitian shepards, at the end of the day its mostly a self projection but i do have lore for them as to y theyre even in oklahoma, yknow??? doing things like that is fun to me!!!

WHEN IT COMES TO THE SHEPARDS, i will say, whenever i would see white shepards im like “oh i thought we all saw that they were poc guys</333” EVEN W THE MOVIE i was surprised tim wasnt a poc but whateverrrr we move onnnnn

BUT I DO LIKE UR ETHNICITY IDEAS!!!!, once again ANOTHER version of the characters put into my little multiverse right there w arab curtis family<3333

personally i hc dally to b italian, but considering the demographics of brooklyn back then, yea it is 100% possible he couldve been italian, and w johnny to me hes mexican/bengali, so i think its pretty cool that u see them as both being italian, im def rockin w it, it gives them something they can connect over a bit!!

and im happy to say we both see the curtis’ as being jewish, to me theyre ethnically jewish, i based the curtis’ off my gf im ngl

BUT ANYWAYS NO WORRIES!!! i love answering long asks and so happy my blog inspired u to share ur thoughts<333

[carmenpeach]

hm okay something thats been on my mind for like over a year now. sometime last year? or maybe closer to almost 2 years(!?) i started taking antipsychotics cause i just couldnt stand the paranoia anymore it had been ruining my life and i just could not function as a person and i was sick of the daily panic attacks. but like i thought "if i dont like how this makes me feel, i can stop and just go back to being crazy" and obviously i wasnt enjoying it- mostly it made me feel really numb to enjoyment and i found that my special interests were just becoming background noise for me at most and it was really hard like i didnt wanna draw or even play games it was like "wake up go to work come home smoke weed go to bed repeat"

and it was like my stuffed animals quit feeling like sentient and started to feel like just objects and it made me feel sick. like my toys had always been alive in a way and then suddenly they werent, but thats definitly not the reason i was so distressed being sane, since i know that special objects are bound to over the years not feel like friends etc etc <- mentally ill whatever. it was like there was a sudden wash of clarity over me and i hated it.

like it was like i was split in two in a way, and this is the part thats hard to explain unless you personally know the feeling. a lot of schizophrenic people have this feeling of like another person/ self residing in the back of the head or spine. and it gives this sense of paranoia, of being over your shoulders or under your skin just beneath you. and until a few years ago i didnt know this was something other people felt sometimes, and it was terrifying just feeling this entity of sorts possessing me in a way. i had felt it ever since i was a kid (maybe 9? for sure became a hard issue by the time i was 12 though so you know. early schizophrenia if not life long) but i never mentioned it to anyone for a variety of reasons, primarily because there was this feeling that if i outwardly acknowledged it, then it would know that i knew about it, and it would get me. whether that was killing me, torturing me, pulling me into another dimension, or taking over my body. and after 2 decades it just became part of my every day life, this thing within me that would always look for an opportunity to torment me in some unknown but inhumane way. and it was just this all consuming feeling, even feeling its thoughts inside my head, and not being sure where i ended and it began, and i accepted it as just a part of me for better or for worse.

and so starting antipychotics, they did their job and i felt "normal" and i was sleeping regularily for the first time in my life (would lay awake for hours and hours ever sinde like idk 3rd grade. 5 hours a night max usually and then that was plagued by nightmares. and of course the constant hallucinations and delusions in the meantime made sleep even harder) and i even felt less of that endless anger inside of me. and i hated it. it was like after being on it for idk maybe 2 weeks or a month or something i just suddenly in the day felt this clarity wash over me and just like that, the spine creature was gone. it was quiet upstairs. and ive felt hollow ever since. i quit the medication not long after but ive felt the same. its like it got mad at me and left to teach me a lesson for trying to toy with it. and ive been a half human ever since. its spacious in my body and in my mind, used to holding two people and now its just one. and ive spent so much time trying to induce epiosdes and just hoping(?) it comes back, but it hasnt.

its like im being forced to live as a human when im not. "being human" is this like aspect ive always struggled with, like im not gonna go into it but ive been forced to live as a non human my whole life, and every time i start to feel that feeling of "maybe i could be a person" something fucking outlandish happens and kicks me back down. i feel like a cartoon character the way everything is such a "yeah this sort of shit would happen to me" moments all the time. and like in a weird way, i always had this "evidence" i was a non human, with this otherworldly thing living inside of me and it was me.

for a long time i thought of it as the "original" me before all the events in my life forced me to create a new version of myself, and that it hated me. like i was one person ripped in two, and the part you have now (carmen) is the "active" "half" but its only half of a full person. but the other half certainly wasnt a person either. ive had many theories of what it is/ was, but knew i would never know, all i knew was that i could never acknowledge it. and its funny cause knowing that "its just schizophrenia" doesnt ease that feeling. its hard to explain. but what im getting at is that ive spent the last two years learning to navigate myself as only a fraction of what i was before.

its interesting cause i wouldnt say the insanity is gone, every now and then paranoia rears its head and certain topics that would make me have an episode will still freak me out. but i can walk past mirrors now (mirrors were always a 100% episode inducing thing) and i still sleep regularily and ive been eating stable too. but its still with this feeling of hollowness. im used to there being two people inside my body and now its just one, and its too spacious and its almost like i get lost in there. only one set of thoughts in my head, only one person looking through my eyes, only one person controlling my arms. i always felt like an alien and thought i always would. and i found great joy in embracing my schizophrenia rather than hiding it as some terrible secret. and it was the best thing i ever did for myself, was finally being open about my psychosis. ive made so many meaningful connections to other psychotic people, and im so happy ive met ppl that helped me understand myself and that im not the only one that feels this, and also that ive helped other people realize their own psychosis too.

i thought i could play pretend at being a normal person and go back to myself if i didnt like it, but i ended up staying this way. i know its not impossible for that feeling to come back maybe, but my god its horrifying to lose it the way i did. it feels only the more recent months ive started to adapt to being the only me in my body, and to feel like i could maybe be human too. yeah it was scary, but on the other hand now its kind of lonely in a really weird way, and not something i thought was possible either, i can still feel the impression where it was even as it fills in with my own shape now.

[blueisquitetired]

Ages ago back when Legends Arceus first came out, I toyed with the idea of completing a shiny dex. (Replacing every dex picture with its shiny counterpart) I got halfway through before massive mass outbreak hunting kinda killed my motivation. But! With Eevee week in Violet finally letting me complete the entire shiny eevee family, I regained some of that former vigor and have decided to give it another go!

I won’t spam you with updates since this is first and foremost an art/writing blog, but since I mostly do submas stuff I thought some of you might be mildly interested lol.

My two rules for myself are-

1: Transferring from other games is both allowed and encouraged. Shiny hunting distortion spawns is an exercise in misery and I will not participate in its madness. Those bad boys are getting Mesuda methoded

2: I’m not doing legendaries or mythicals. While I DO have the resources to do most of them, I find legendary hunts boring and uninteresting. (It’s mostly loading screens) And they’re long!! I could maybe do it if I only had to do one… but 10ish is far far too many (especially since I’d have to replay through bdsp TWICE to even START some hunts) Hunting all the legendaries would take up most of the time if I let it

Anyway, I’ll only post about my progress every so often (less then once a week lol) but if you want to block them completely I’ll be using the tag #blue’s shiny hunting adventures

All that being said- I’m currently at about 123/224!

(Extra info under readmore for those curious)

Here’s my current list! There’s probably some errors in there (as well as spelling mistakes but everything is highlighted in red so I’ll never know what’s ACTUALLY spelled wrong) but this is fine for now lol

Shinies I’ve transferred from other games so far include:

- a shiny patcharisu that I caught in bdsp via radar

- a shiny magikarp and garados I caught in a new years event in sword AGES ago

- a shiny sneasel (+weavile dex entry) that I hunted in violet named Lady Baby

- a shiny bergmite who I hunted in Violet named Akari (who I did NOT evolve so I’ll need a new one anyway)

- a shiny umbreon and espeon who I painstakingly hatched with perfect IVS in Violet

- a shiny vaporeon who I spent AGES hunting in Violet

- a shiny flareon and glaceon who I accidentally ran into ten seconds apart from each other when I wandered into their mass outbreak in Violet

- a shiny jolteon and leafeon who I casually hunted for and found later that day in Violet

- a shiny abamasnow, rufflet (+braviary dex entry), snorunt (+frostless dex entry), toxicroak, and golduck I found randomly while playing Violet

Since starting this challenge yesterday I have found a shiny starly, chatot, remoraid (+octillery dex entry), and tangela!

I also currently am at 32 perfect dex entries and will hopefully have more by the end of this lol

And, of course, here’s my current shinies physically in Legends Arceus!

[thecooler]

today is the one year anniversary of my first date with my girlfriend, and so i wanna tell you all how we ended up together, because i think it's a fun story and i like telling it, and ive been having a bad week so you should all indulge me

so we met in passing at a friend's party in the spring of 2022. We only talked a bit, but I was immediately taken by them- they were tall and colourful and stupid pretty.

about six months later, that same friend died suddenly, and we both attended the funeral. After the speeches, I saw them standing on their own, and I thought they looked lonely (they were), so I invited them to walk with my roommates and I.

important to note: the funeral was attended by approximately 50% the friend's family, and 50% their gay friends. And us and the big gay group ended up lost in the graveyard, which was annoying, but it gave us time to talk. They apologized and said they were bad with names, so they didn't remember most of us from our party, but they remembered my name specifically

afterwards, we had a gay little wake at our house and i invited them to that too. I remember they called a mutual friend of ours at one point in the night and told them they felt warm and loved and included, and that made me very happy

they then left for school and to visit europe for five months

when they came back, i asked them to help me weed our backyard, since i knew they liked working with plants. we spent several hours taming my yard together, and then, after that, we went to the neighbors and asked if we could do a bit of work on theirs too, since the specific weeds were really aggravating allergies

the couple there told us they had had a baby just two weeks ago, that they were exhausted and couldn't even begin to work on their yard, and they were very grateful.

at this point, I wanted to help, but I was exhausted, and my joints were killing me. I helped out, but I mostly watched them get this second wind, and just absolutely put their all into making these strangers' yard perfect, even after hours of work, and it was honestly over for me. I woke up early the next day and watched the sunrise and decided i needed to ask them on a date

i almost cried when i did it, but they said yes, and let me tell you, it's been awesome. ive had a difficult year- difficult couple of years, really, but being with them has been a highlight. I have never felt so valued and loved in a relationship. so- gay rights :)

[gowonders]

Please Hyeju x 13th Member Reader Where she’s sorta like Yves, she hasn’t joined any company but ends up joining Loossemble and sorta Hyeju’s reaction to that? I’m sorry I can’t talk for shit😭😭

oh you KNOWWW i love writing idol!reader 😈😈 nah let me absolutely destroy this😋😋 i kinda turned this into a mini lil fic so.. HAHAHAHHA also i’m so so so so sorry this took me ages, ive hit a point where i hate everything i write 😭😭

super-glue ♥ s.hj

warnings; english isn’t my first language, not proofread, mentions of the whole loona situation (☹️), other then that, mainly fluff, lmk if i missed any!!!!!!

hyeju huffs over her phone as she texts you, she saw your message on how you just felt really demotivated from idol work after your last company really set you and the rest of the members up. her heart sank, she knew how you felt, but she definitely had the smallest hope that you could redebut together. ‘i get how you feel, yn! there’s no rush, take the time you need because it’s seriously deserved.” she responds, putting her phone to the side as she thinks over her career. she was going to sign with a company her some of her other bandmates were under, and she was over the moon to be with them, of course.. but you were close! like.. super glue level close, so the thought of possibly debuting without you kinda.. crushed her.

fast forward a few weeks.. and you and hyeju haven’t talked for a second. a little more, actually. you had been so busy catching up with all your family, and still figuring out what’d you’d do from here on out, and hyeju was so busy working on her redebut.. that you just didn’t talk all that much. and it killed her, and maybe killed you more. it wasn’t exactly intentional, but you both definitely felt bad.

and it definitely felt awkward to make a big decision without your other half. you had two ideas for the future lined up, either go back to being an idol and try to sign with a company, or start being a producer and songwriter. this was definitely something you’d ask hyeju about.. but you knew how busy she was! last time you met, she gushed about the new company and how she’s truly happy, having a stage name she actually likes, how the company isn’t an absolute chore to deal with.. and how she was redebuting any day now! and you were definitely proud, but you couldn’t really reach out to her, but you know how comebacks went.. you can’t really judge. but you really wished you could have her, in this one decision.. but..

you could make this a happy thing, for the both of you.

you had kind of been leaning to redebut anyways, and hyejus company didn’t seem bad at all with the way she spoke so highly of them, and to be fair.. your other bandmates were there too, you could surprise hyeju maybe? you could just tell how much she missed you, you guys were so close.

so, you might’ve spent your evening going to her company, and you might’ve asked if you could sign with them.. and your week was totally spent working on drawing up a contract.. which went through! that might’ve been the longest week of your life, but it was about to be worth it. really, really worth it.

“yn?” you hear from behind you as you walk in the hallways of your new entertainment. your eyes widen as you turn around, seeing gowon looking at you with a tilted head. “what has you coming around here?” she asks, a grin rising on her face as she sees you smile and start to explain. “i kinda.. maybe.. joined this company… and maybe the group…??…” you practically whisper, and her grin grows more and more. “wh- uh- i missed you.. but like, does anyone know?” she responds, moving to be next to you. you shake your head, looking at the girl next to you. “well, do you wanna see the rest of the girls?” gowon asks, a smile on her face.. but she wasn’t really asking.. it was more a command, and you couldn’t deny her. “how could i say no….” you trail off, and with that you’re getting dragged to a practice room.

“guyssss… look who’s here~” gowon says in a singsong tone, nudging you in front of her as you’re presented with four other girls from your group, and while you’re all happy to see them all.. you’re most happy to see the one you’re the closest to— hyeju! and clearly, by the looks of it, so is she, with the way she shoots up and runs to you, giggling as she closes you into a tight hug. “yn!!” she squeals, both a mixture of excited and shocked to see you. “i- i thought you were done with being an idol for a bit..!!” she stutters, pulling away from you and looking into your wide eyes, practically prioritizing herself over the others. “hm.. it was kinda a surprise.. let’s catch up? all of us?”