#ive seen some other people talk about this and i deeply empathize cause im there with you :(

[maxellminidisc]

It's such an idk shitty time if you're somebody who has insane anxiety about any sort of doomsday rhetoric cause of religious trauma or like general issues of paranoia that are triggered by stuff like that. Its damn near unavoidable online rn and you feel really stupid for getting fucked up even if people are joking about it :/

[originallyjustolookatmemes]

Thank you!

Grief is a very large theme of S.A.S.S. (its a working title, and is an acronym of the main characters' names Spice, Autumn, Sam, and Sugar)

I personally have not lost anyone i care about, the closest loss to me personally being my previous cat (which was the only death that's gotten me to cry) and even then, i was hit by it months after the fact and was 11 at the time. So i don't quite have a point of reference.

My "bestie" as i'll call them would be my equivalent of what Autumn eventually means to Spice, and i've based their friendship mainly off that. (im aware we're potentially co-dependent, but we aren't harmful for each other as far as i know) I've done the most reputationally/life situation self destructive things to stay in contact with them and id walk through hell and back if they needed me to. And its cause they've seen my worst thoughts, worst urges, and not left me or viewed me differently and fought to stay in contact with me as well. They are my world. i would not be living today without them. Any other "friend" ive got i could get cut off from and i'd be stable, them? My life is ruined, i don't see a reason to exist. (which might be the BPD) But they are the sole person i can actually somewhat strongly empathize with (cognitively) at times (it fluctuates depending on the situation they've told me about, but I'd never be an ass to them and i always give some sort of answer that shows i cared even if i didn't and take the energy to listen even if I'd rather do anything else). Everyone else gets the social expected responses.

i operate heavily on "friendship is a two-way street." i refuse to take more than i give because then that's emotionally abusing the other person (to me). But unless someone else puts the first foot forward, im not extending an offer of acquaintanceship. I don't consider many people true friends, most are just "people i talk to" or "know of" but pro-socials view friendship differently than i do and treat it as a causal term. So to them maybe im "a friend" but they aren't to me and i'm aware that's an asshole thing to say and i have a very deeply inset fear of being the same as an abuser of mine, so i call them "friends".

To me, a friend is someone who will hunt down your place of learning to make sure you didn't kill yourself and will drive over 40 minutes to pick you up when you call them from a stranger's phone.

i place great value in being not judgmental. i have a "passing" amount of cognitive empathy that i mask with, and non-existent affective empathy. i care a lot about making sure i don't hurt others (even if i could care less about the person specifically), because that means I'm the same as those that hurt me and i never want to be them. But if i view someone as a bad person, all that goes out the window and i will not care about hurting them in any way. Ive been told by my sole friend over and over that that im a "good person" but its been a struggle to not laugh it off. i've embraced being the "fucked up" child so much that its hard to believe me being called a "good person".

Anyway, got sidetracked.

Grief is the main experience I'm needing research for since i have genuinely no experience with it, but any and all details help immensely. I haven't lost the person i care about. Spice loses half of the people he does, and i don't have any points of reference for how he may deal with it.

(do @ me when you become a vtuber, i'd sub/follow in a heartbeat)

For everyone with ASPD, you deserve good representation.

Help me write you an Aroallo ASPD character that represents how we can heal and be ourselves to spite our trauma without having to bend down to prosocials.

How can you help? Reblog with ramblings or comment about your personal experience of living as a pwASPD. if you aren't a pwASPD, reblogs and likes still help!

i've tried my best to do the research necessary, but the amount of ableist sites that get shoved in my face with a basic google search has pissed me off. im taking matters into my own hands and asking y'all directly for your experiences.

I haven't gone for an ASPD diagnosis because it is simply not in the cards for me right now, and would potentially be harmful for me, but i check many boxes. However, due to a likely BPD and ADHD co-morbidity i dont trust myself enough to write a solely ASPD character based off only my own experiences.

Thoughts, advice, encouragement, all is appreciated.

(Post made by Shawdios on YT)

Spice (legal name Simon) is a felinefolk/birdfolk hybrid who works as a bartender for his side of the bakery-bar Sugar & Spice that him and his caretaker formed. He grew up bouncing around in the foster system and treated like a oddity to hide due to his odd mix of genetics. But his last caretaker, Sugar, he grew to see as a genuine mother to him because she was the first to believe his side of the story and not treat him like an "Other".

Due to his feline side, he often was found hunting down squirrels, birds, and rodents as a young child. Some of which he toyed with as they died, others he simply bit and killed. This behavior off put many of his foster parents and got him transferred around to different homes quite a lot. Spice was quite the delinquent as a child, he often was provoked into fights that he most of the time lost. (The first time around at least.) But he always got a cruel form of revenge depending on the bully who knocked him down. The fighting got worse once he hit middle school, to the point where he was once expelled for half blinding another child with his claws (and going home with a broken wing and shoulder himself) By the time he's finished highschool, Sugar had adopted him and done her best to help him mellow out and process his traumas from bouncing around the system and being treated like a thing to be tamed. But, he still gets in enough trouble to gain a Conduct Disorder Diagnosis and later after he graduates an Antisocial diagnosis.

The entirety of his moral system as an adult is built on what would or would not disappoint Sugar. He's perfectly content to live out his short life baking with his mother figure, mixing drinks, and curled up by a sunny window with his nose burried in books till his bad genetics kill him, but Sugar tries to get him to at least try to interact with others. And he holds her in such high respect that he does his best to maintain a good reputation with those that stop at the bar.

His care for the world revolves solely around himself and Sugar till a birdfolk with one wing named Autumn violently enters his life (and Re-enters Sugar's) and then violently leaves it five years later.

[alovher]

hi! im kind of new to law of assumption and old to law of attraction. law of assumption is not a hard concept but im a bit confused. i find myself reacting to the 3D too much and like i find it hard to persist? what do i do to make persisting easier? i think it’s because i don’t know much about what im getting into?? all i know is affirm and persist and etc. i hear things like time is an illusion, the 3D is an illusion, circumstances don’t matter, we are all gods of our reality. but WHERES the proof?? i can’t blindly follow people’s success stories because im not them and if we are truly the gods of our realities, doesn’t that mean someone else can manifest failure in mine? like i want to use law of assumption and i want to believe to get what I want fast and easily BUT i want to know how it works and that im not following a delusion to make myself feel better and in the end, I am just left with disappointment and failed attempts at manifesting that left me with the consequences of my actions. ive been in the community for almost 2 years and i don’t think ive ever gotten results. i am not usually agitated but it’s exhausting. i affirm and persist and nothing shows up and im worried im doing it all wrong so i ask and now I’m even affirming wrong?? I know manifestation is supposed to be easy and not feel like a chore but how can it not when everything I desire is of so much importance to me. I can even dm you, just please help me so I can actually manifest what I want. I’ve done self concept but I keep breaking. I don’t even know what affirmations to use to combat my limiting beliefs. Tbh I’m tired. I feel like if someone explained to me how this works and how to do it with no mistakes and how to keep faith in the unseen, I could actually get what I want. I keep failing and failing because I affirm and persist but I affirm wrong or I have a limiting belief that hasn’t been uncovered yet. I’m so exhausted and I just want to get what I want.

hi! you say you don’t know much about what you’re getting to, that’s an easy fix. there are many coaches and advisors and blogs all over but i feel the best person to go to, to learn about loa is neville goddard. you can listen to his lectures (most videos are less than twenty minutes) on youtube and/or read his books (divineangelbee has the links pinned) for free.

i can feel the desperation you have for wanting to get this right, and i deeply empathize with you. you say everything you desire is important to you, ofc it is lol all of our desires are meaningful to us! but the degree of importance you assign your individual desires does not determine how hard or easy it is to manifest.

you say you’ve tried working on your self concept - why do you feel like the work you’ve done is seemingly not enough? or as you’ve put it ‘you keep breaking’? in what way do you break, what is the cause, what are the beliefs you hold about yourself and those around you that facilitate such breakage?

you say you don’t know what affirmations to use to combat your limiting beliefs - another easy fix! there are plenty of affirmations available for you to use that my peers and i post everyday! you can also come up with your own affirmations that are tailored to your specific situation, it is not complicated. for example, let’s say you have the limiting belief that you have to be in a good mood in order to manifest, or otherwise you will not receive your desire. you could affirm to yourself, “i am a limitless creator! no matter what i do or how i feel, my desires always come into fruition easily and quickly!” thats it :)

lastly, let’s talk about faith. you want proof that manifestation is real and yet you struggle to find the value in your fellow man’s success. if it is possible for them, why can’t it be possible for you? you have been manifesting your entire life, even before you knew what the law was. nothing has changed and there is nothing to change but yourself. it can be hard to believe in the impossible, and even harder to believe that you can manifest the impossible. but faith is the loyalty to what is not seen. faith is believing in yourself. your comment about “blindly following” other people is so interesting to me because 1. this journey has nothing to do with other people, 2. are you really blind? or is something blocking your vision? are you that something?, and 3. refer back to number 1…why are you following others, why not follow yourself?

all in all, i am available to talk anytime. 💓 i hope i’ve helped reassure you in some way. coming into loa after living a life of lack, things can feel confusing. but i promise, keep persisting and you will realize it’s not as complicated as you thought. you’re not a failure and you are capable of doing incredible things. the law is only as hard as you make it. you are not “affirming wrong”! this is your reality, your world, you’re the main character, the director, and you write the fucking script… act like it