#ive seen people die so quick people id never interact with lives of their own die in a snap. the moment i lose sight of how abhorrent it is

[pielove123clan]

3 in the morning, thinking about a video essay I watched in the day. Thinking about my little cousin again. It feels almost sick and perverse the constant bombardment of thoughts.

So the video essay was about a visual novel where after a car accident and someone's death, the main character saw everything and everyone in meat vision. This caused him to isolate and become asocial to the outside world because his whole environment suddenly became visually hostile. Everyone he interacts with are veiwed as horrific piles of flesh. Their trying to tell this man to get over the death already. It's horrible this happened but you need to move on. It isn't wrong persay but the meat vision prevents him from seeing them as people. There's a lot of other things in the story but that one aspect resonated with me.

After a tragic event, everything feels and looks inalienably different and the people you knew before can't always understand, they have the best intentions, they do mean well. I've been blessed with people who will listen to me after all these years and sympathize. The meat vision is a metaphor for disability, esspically mental ones like ptsd difficult to talk about or approach with other people. Your surroundings can jump out and attack at a moments notice. Some can shrug it off but some can not, and for those who can't, is it right they die? No right answer here, only a matter of perspective.

Im not naming the visual novel because it doesn't feel right to put a mention of my little cousin and this wonderful yet absolutely horrific story with possible elements of pedophilia in the same post. It is my thoughts, I woke up in the middle of the night to suddenly think about this shit. My little cousin is plenty smart. She's going to face these things but there's no reason or guarantee she'd hear or get a perspective like this. Id do another video log but I will end up breaking down again, plus the walls have ears. I don't feel safe delivering the message when the walls have ears. Their always listening.

Smart people are still able to fall into narrow mindsets, smart people still have biases in their thinking, and smart people can still fall hook line and sinker for every old trick in the book, all according to the frequency you tune your propaganda to. When you discover what messages resonate in their heads, you'll be able to influnce their thinking. It can be positive or negative, but with sufficent enough skill and appeals to logic, empathy, and the other third one I forgot, any mental barrier can be breached.

The weird irony about social work and psycology is having to open yourself up to being personable and empathetic but taking a step back and not getting too personally invested in the client to the point it'll effect your living and efficiency. It's an open secret our real job is to find your problem and at least guide you through it, help you navigate, make sure you can become a productive member of society again. Doesn't mean there's no sincerity to be found, we wouldn't be in this position if we didn't want to help others. Or maybe for others, that's a dubious statement? Point still stands, a level of professionalism and a mental divide between yourself and the client needs to be established for your own sanity, while still being empathetic and personal. Im not doing the fieldwork yet, so what do I know, bleh.