#ive never meaningfully conencted to it
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thehardkandy · 1 month ago
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it's been over 7 years but if im being honest i still miss doing my BA. my classes were all so good... even the worst profs i had still left me with SOMETHING. and it was so good going through all sorts of courses for things that i would never do in my spare time. like man. english degree kicked ass. part of me would like to just take more high level classes but i know that would be 300% irrelevant to my life
#like i always think if there's ways i can coerce myself into behaving in a way similar to taking uni classes and writing essays#and forming extensively researched and backed opinions#but it's just. not something ive ever remotely wanted or been able to do outside of formal academic contexts#because the instructors really are a huge part of it!!#like i have professors teach me things i have never been able to find in the wild#some of them turned those ideas into books#but some of them were just working off decades of their own research and thought and whatever#and even if i didnt agree that was just so cool!!! to see these people taking all their experience and putting it on display#and even more asking you to participate#like my seminar course on canadian poetry#which was something i dreaded taking#fucking KICKED ASS cause the whole syllabus was the book the prof was writing#and so as a class we were all engaging with his ideas in a very direct way that resulted in changes to what he was writing#i cant do that just pulling books off a shelf and asking myself to form a thesis#we talked with the poets over skype in class!!#and i have to emphasize that i really really dont connect with poetry#ive never meaningfully conencted to it#other than in a setting like there where it felt like dissecting people themselves and the context of their lives#which in this case was the context of canada over the last 50-70 years#and THAT was so cool#like man.... making myself tear up i fucking loved all my uni classes lol#but that comes with the caveat that i was insanely privileged to be living off my parents and so it was the only thing i was obligated#to focus on#even if i was still financially well-off while living on my own i know it woudl have been a drastically different and perhaps less nice exp
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