#ive made powerpoints psychoanalyzing lena before but now i wanna do it again

[autisticlenaluthor]

THE FIRST EIGHT SEASONS OF GREYS REWATCH AH YES A CLASSIC IN MY LIFE STORY!! to me greys is divided in eras, so the first era ends when george dies/izzie leaves, then the second era ends after the plane crash, the third one is sorta blurry bc there’s when cristina leaves and when derek dies, which are consecutive seasons but i mean SO MUCH changes. then i think the next big change (in my book, at least) is when az and april leave (not sure why but it is what it is). ANYWAYS the point is i always end up fading out on my rewatch after the first or second era, i don’t think i’ve ever been able to stomach rewatching cristina’s gbye ep bc like ATTACHMENT ISSUES BUT YES SORRY I WENT OFF ON THAT MY POINT IS THAT I TOTALLY GET ALWAYS GOING BACK TO GREYS ANATOMY

my other endless rewatch show is friends, like at one point it just wasn’t even funny anymore bc i knew everything by heart so i was like lets give my mind some time to forget, but i will admit i haven’t been that obsessed over tv shows after i dialed down on those rewatches.

kara was so stupid in the 100th ep like!! and i hated how they used it to ease her guilt with the narrative that there wouldn’t have been a better way when like??? realistically speaking there were so many better ways??? and i keep wondering about the downward spiral lena must have gone in after listening to the person she loved/admired most, earth’s hero, calling her a villain. like yeah, they both made mistakes, but boy did the writers handle the apologies awfully.

i am very happy to hear the angsty angst will be over soon and that lena will have people in her corner bc yes!!! what baby deserves!!! also very excited for the fluffy parts bc you always write those so well, though (i am not sucking up when i say) you write all of it very well but like i mean the fluffy parts make my heart very very happy

(I??? APOLOGIZE FOR HOW LONG THIS GOT??? LMFAO)

no the eras thing is SO correct. personally my favorite eras are the ones with lexi and arizona. normally i only watch until lexi dies but ive been rewatching further this time for arizona and april (i think april is so underrated, i love her). i ended up continuing after april and arizona left the show for amelia and amelia only (i could talk about her forever) but the show goes rlly downhill after april and arizona leave.

i dont rlly rewatch comedies but ive been sucked into the amy sherman palladino universe (which her shows are like drama/comedy) and so im rewatching gilmore girls and bunheads and watching the new eps of mrs maisel bc i love my autistic coded queen midge

and oh my GOD i have thoughts on the 100th episode and i cant put them all here bc they're so much. but now i want to write a fic about how lena would handle kara calling her a villian because i just know her mental health would spiral out of control and it would def bring her back to old habits of isolation and self hatred.

the feminne urge to do a full 'the body keeps score' level analysis of lena is a STRONG one

and yes the angsty angst will be done soon, and lena will have a support system in place when it happens. and there will be a good amount of fluff to balance it all out bc youre so right, lena is baby, and she deserves all the love and good things in the world