#ive just been thinkin abt hgduo a lot bc im workin on a fic that i miiiight end up posting? we'll see.

[becauseplot]

completely random thought but thinkin about like. how interesting it is that what happened to qcellbit in the war and what he was forced to do to survive traumatized him and still clearly upsets him. like we all know that. but given his interactions with bbh he still feels a sense of nostalgia, referring to them as the "good times" and reminiscing n whatnot. and it could all be a result of the headspace he's in rn, perhaps glorifying his childhood as a means of reinforcing his "i have always been this way" mentality to help justify his violence against the fed workers and/or clinging to the "good" moments he had growing up in an awful environment because that peaceful childhood was stolen from him.

anyway all this is to say. what if even back then, in order to cope, cellbit thought about the wars as a game: hunting alongside bbh, strategizing, taking people out, collecting "loot," upgrading their gear. and when they're the last ones standing, they win! just,, interpreting the "games" part of "hunger games" as a young, scared little cellbit subconsciously putting distance between himself and the horrors he experienced/committed on the daily and trying to motivate himself to keep going by making it a "fun game to play." and how that might affect how he thinks of it now. like on one hand he's probably aware that it was a seriously messed up situation to be dropped into as a kid, on the other hand, he can't deny that he was having fun.

also i do believe that even outside this "it's all just a game" mentality, cellbit and bbh had some pleasant moments that cellbit is still clinging to (and perhaps blowing out of proportion; nostalgia and rose-tinted glasses and all that). cellbit goofing around while setting up camp for the night. bbh looting a cool jacket (or perhaps a sick pair of goggles?) off a body and giving them to a delighted cellbit. cellbit trying to teach bbh some portuguese, bbh teaching cellbit new words in english. cellbit, bored, hanging upside down from a tree by his legs while waiting for bbh to finish looking at the map and call their next move. a flawless double takedown where neither of them broke a sweat and bbh greatly praised cellbit's skills and cellbit smiled for the rest of the day. (are you proud of me? are you proud of me?) a tree branch breaking and falling directly in front of cellbit and cellbit screeching and bbh laughing harder than cellbit has ever heard him laugh before, so much so that he forgets his embarrassment and starts laughing too.

just,,, man. what exactly is cellbit referring to when he brings up "the good times" with bbh. it's so fun to think about.