#ive had burns before too i have an 18 year old scar on my leg from it i know how fucking bad it is

[hauntedtrait]

venting, death cw in tags

[livelivefastfree]

have you been working on any new fics?? (your stories are wonderful, ive drowned myself in polyburners thanks to you 😔 its a good place to be)

Not really anything new, although I’ve been picking away at some older ones that I never finished!  Namely the plot-heavy sequel to my telepathic soul-bond superhero AU, the intimidatingly complicated sequel to Save A Horse, Ride A Dragon, and my Burnerswap AU where the villains are all our new Burners and the Burners are villains.

Unfortunately since I’m a nurse work has been kind of stressful recently and also my brain only likes to focus on one thing at a time which is currently original novel things.  So process is pretty slow, haha.  But I’m glad I could bring more people into the polyburners fold!

I do feel bad that I haven’t had the energy to post much for a while; revamping my burnerswap doc is the most recent thing I’ve gotten work done on, so here’s a little bit of scene-setting!

Deluxe is a mass of spires and platforms, shimmering in the sunshine outside Red’s window.  Red stares up at the ceiling, at the pale golden glow of sunlight on the pale polymer.  He can hear the sound of someone loudly imitating an electric guitar, and faint thumps and thuds through the wall; Duke is taking his traditional lengthy shower and using up all their precious hot water.  From the smells drifting up from downstairs, Jacob is already up and in the kitchen experimenting.  Kaia is probably upstairs on the roof, tending to her plants, and Abraham had to go back down to the undercity last night.  His absence is a hole; no sound of him talking to Jacob in the kitchen, working out irritatingly on Red’s balcony, yelling at Duke for using up the water.  There’s always something slightly off, a little bit wrong, when part of their team is missing.

Red sits up, buckles his patch on over the remnant of his left eye, and pushes himself up out of bed to see what’s for breakfast.

Jacob is stirring something in a pan when he Red arrives.  There’s a heaping basket of miscellaneous vegetables on the counter next to him, so probably Red’s in for some kind of veggie abomination this morning—but it’s a veggie abomination Red doesn’t have to make and then burn, and he doesn’t really have a sense of taste anymore, anyway.  Red drops into a chair, and Jacob piles up a plate of fried vegetables and sets it wordlessly down in front of him.

It’s quiet for a while. Red eats as much as he can manage, and Jacob knows him well enough not to frown when Red has to push the plate away half-eaten.  

“Quiet night?” he says, eventually.

“All quiet in the pit,” Red says, and goes to the cooler to fish out a nutrient shake instead.  “No calls from Abraham.  No alerts, no bots, no Dragon.”

“Mm.”  Jacob shakes his head, making an unconvinced grumbling noise.  “They’ll come.  They always do.”

Red can’t argue that. He stayed on the edge of the platform until the small hours of the morning, looking down into the dark city far below, watching every gleam of light and flicker of movement, waiting for the first flash of red glass eyes or matte metal claws.

The others drift downstairs eventually, one at a time; Duke grimaces at the vegetable mess, but Kaia piles in with every sign of enjoyment.  Red sits back and listens to Jacob and Duke bicker, Kaia’s laughing jabs at both of them indiscriminately, and lets the sunlight soften some of the harsh, nauseated fatigue.

He doesn’t realize he’s beginning to drift off, but when his comms light up red with an urgent chime, it startles him badly enough he almost drops his drink.

“Come in,” Abraham’s voice says, flat and low.  “Red.”

“Copy,” says Red, and pushes himself up, already moving. The rest of his team reorders around him, Jacob heading for the garage, Duke and Kaia immediately running for their rooms, their weapons.  Red picks up his gloves, feeling the circuitry inside thrum hotly against his palms. “Incoming?”

“How did you guess,” says Abraham dryly.  “Three Climbers.  Two on North Side, one coming up from the East.  And she’s sending up the Dragon.”

Red falters in mid-step, then growls and heads down the staircase to the garage, taking the steps two at a time. “Can you make it up?”

“I can try,” Abraham says, but Red knows that tone to his voice, rough and grim.  “I think she’s targeting the medical complex on platform 18.  Don’t get distracted.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Red says, and Abraham gives a brief bark of a laugh and then cuts the call.

--

Deluxe looks beautiful in the sunlight, if beauty is something to pay attention to; Red has seen it a thousand times, growing up from the old undercity of Detroit like an indescribably huge tree made of silver and marble.  The platforms that make up the city itself look almost fragile from a distance, hovertech and superlight polymers, gleaming with solar panels and greenery.  The massive support structure that holds the city up grows dirtier and more patchwork as it descends into the bristling thicket of ancient, blocky concrete buildings.

Whole civilizations have made their homes on the platforms along that winding trunk.  Around its base, built onto the rooftops of old skyscrapers, Red can see the distant gleam of the Casino King’s sprawling compound, gaudy with red and gold floodlights.  There are urban legends about an entire lost city, one that made its living in among the building-sized struts and cables themselves, before some unspecified calamity cut all communication with them short.

Some of the midway settlements are against Kane, some of them are only indifferent, but Red can only assume that trying to bargain her way through was too much trouble.  Kane took matters into her own hands, and had her R&D invent the Climbers.

Red has eyes on one of them now; a long, low shape, slinking across the platform.  Six-legged, with four glowing eyes each, moving with an unnerving, artificial grace—the mechanical nightmare-offspring of a wolf and some kind of insect.  The tips of their claws hum faintly, lit up—plasma-cutter edges, sharp enough to sink into the polymer like hot knives through butter.  Red is a platform above them, out of their field of vision, but he’s seen the way the things scale vertical surfaces, faster than anything that size should be able to move.

As Red watches, one of them opens its mouth, showing hundreds of needle-sharp fangs lit hellish red from the inside, and lets out an awful, scraping snarl.

“I’ve got eyes on one,” Red says, keeping his voice low.  

“Yeah, yeah, we see ���em over here too,” Duke says, tight and sharp with bravado.  “Easy.  Let’s get it done!”

“I’ve got your back,” Kaia says.  “Let’s show these things what—”

“Hey, Red,” says a voice, and something taps Red on the shoulder.  “Tag.”

The moment of shock is enough to freeze Red in place for a single fraction of a second, and that’s a hesitation he can’t afford.  A blunt edge slams into his ribs, knocks him over off his feet; he rolls, comes up on his feet again and sends out a blind shockwave of energy—throws himself to one side as a staff sweeps past where his ankles were, and this time when he lashes out he feels the impact strike true.

The Dragon of Detroit takes the hit and lets it bowl him backwards, turns the motion into a back-handspring and comes to a skidding halt, shaking overgrown brown bangs out of his dark eyes.  He’s laughing, smiling as wide and wild as he always does; the deep scar that stretches crookedly from his cheekbone to his chin twists his smile into something just slightly crooked and bitter, but his laugh sounds irritatingly, insultingly genuine.

“Chilton,” Red snarls, and the man spins his staff behind his back and sweeps a bow, grinning.  

“I’m guessing you’re not interested in doing this the easy way, kid,” he says, and Red clenches his fists, lightning crawling up his arms.  “Yeah, I didn’t figure.  Can’t say I didn’t try.”

“The fuck I can’t,” Red snaps, and Chilton huffs out a breath and shakes his head, ever-present smile never fading.  “If you really cared about not hurting anybody you wouldn’t be working for that—”

It’s the flicker of Chilton’s eyes that gives it away, and the faintest sound of scraping metal; Red dives to one side on instinct, just in time to avoid the snap of jagged metal jaws and six sets of wickedly-clawed feet.  He comes up swinging, lands a few solid hits; the Climber shrieks as one of its legs spasms and cracks, red lightning and dented metal grinding in one of its back legs.

“Backup!” Red snaps into his comm, and then there’s only the fight.

He’s being distracted, he knows it even while it’s happening, but he can’t break his focus away long enough to care.  Chilton is gone, he has to be raiding that medical compound, and Red is stuck here, fighting some stupid robot—

“Heads up!” yells a voice, and Red glances up and then back-pedals abruptly as a huge, blocky shape comes rocketing off the next platform up and drops like a comet onto the Climber’s head.  The back half of the bot gives a meaty crunch as Jacob’s construction rig lifts back off of it, leaking nasty, thick, black fluid as it tries to drag itself forward on its two remaining legs; Red steps forward, grimacing in distaste, tears a dented plate away and buries his hand in the things neck to deliver one final, merciless jolt.  The Climber whirrs, gives a gurgling growl, and finally goes still.

“Jumpin’ Josephat,” says Jacob, from inside the clunky, ugly cube he calls a hovercar.  “You still in one piece down there?”

“Where’s Chilton?!” Red says, and then jerks and looks up at the sound of a laugh, echoing off the white walls and walkways around them.  

The Dragon is standing at the very edge of the platform, silhouetted against the sky; he makes eye contact with Red, brief and grinning, one hand on the side of a stolen transport pod. Then he throws off a brief, mocking salute, and launches himself backwards off the edge of the platform into thin air, vanishing over the edge.

“Criminy,” says Jacob weakly, because Jacob is an 80-year-old man in a 20-year-old body.  

“Fuck,” Red hisses, and slams a fist down on the ground, leaving lightning-jagged scorch marks across the white polymer.  Takes a few breaths and repeats, “…fuck,” soft and hoarse, poisonous in his mouth.

“Yeah,” says Jacob, and his boots thump softly as he slides down, his hand settles carefully on Red’s shoulder.  “C’mon. Let’s get back to the others.”

[anxietalyn]

ACL reconstruction

so. last week on Tuesday I got ACL surgery, and I've looked on a few tags on Tumblr for tips and what to expect. but, I didn't find a lot, and when I did they weren't really descriptive. so ima do one to maybe help some folks out. this is tips and my experience so far.

Edit: this turned out waaaay longer than I thought it would

THIS IS ALL BASED ON MY SURGERY AND RECOVERY. I'M NOT SAYING THIS IS EXACTLY HOW IT WILL GO. I WENT TO A TOP ORTHOPEDIC SURGEON BC MY FAMILY HAD HEARD A LOT ABOUT MY DUDE AND THEY TOOK MY INSURANCE(he turns out to be one of the top orthopedic surgeons in Texas. If you live in the Houston, Texas area, the dude is Dr. Barrett Brown at Fondren Orthopedic Group in the medical center. whoop.) :

if you have the time, money, and availability, go to therapy a few weeks before the surgery. it'll strengthen the muscles in the injured leg, and the leg that isn't going under the knife. it'll help you after the surgery when you're having to use crutches or a walker. trust me on that. I was going to therapy 7 1/2 before my surgery. my orthopedic said that I should've gone at least six weeks.

when I went to therapy for the first time after tearing my ACL and MCL back in October, he was concerned. *I was also in a wheelchair for ten days*.

don't do that

I wish I would've looked up how or asked a family who is a doctor how to use crutches. because I was miserable in that wheelchair. my muscles in my left leg(injured leg) shrinked because they weren't used in a week and a half. and my leg muscles are pretty strong for my height and weight. that was the most difficult part of therapy leading up to last Tuesday. the fact that my strength and body changed.

if you're learning how to use them, or they are unavailable for a day or so, go ahead and use a wheelchair. bc, I'll be honest, it is a lot easier.

You might be at the hospital for a while before they take you in. I was told to be at my surgeon's office at 9:30, and I wasn't taken back for prep until 13:00(1:00pm)

You might also be in the prep area for a bit.. but there is where you get the hospital dress, no-slide socks, a "fall risk" bracelet(which I should've gotten when I started to walk when I was little bc I'm hella clumsy), your IV, I was offered a numbing shot for the area of the IV but I dunno if that's universal

if you have a family member or friend back there with you, ask for them to distract you. I had my goofy brother to make faces at me

if you are offered that numbing shot, they will tell you this, but for about ten seconds it burns like hell

at my hospital, everyone who would be in the OR had to come introduce themselves before surgery, so if you have any questions, ask! they are there to answer your questions. no matter if you think they're stupid.

my Anesthesiologist(the dude who gives the knock out juice) came over, asked if this is my first surgery, and when I told him yes, he explained EVERYTHING. He said that all the folks in the room(for me it was 6) would come by, ask my name, birthday, what was happening during the surgery, and which leg. he then said that the anaesthesia I would get was a non-narcotic which is to help you not throw up after surgery(which I didn't).

five more people then introduced themselves

when they were wheeling me to the OR, they said it would be cold so they gave me a second blanket

they wheeled me up to the table, had me crawl onto it, had a foam pillow for my head, and extended arm holders for my arms to lay outta the way

Steve(anesthesiologist) then asked if I was ready, I said I was scared. one of the nurses then held my hand as he put in the knock out juice. he then said I did good, and to help the anaesthesia work faster, put an oxygen over my nose and mouth until I was out.(last thing I remember)

when I woke up, I was still in the OR, but I was incredibly dis-oriented. I know ASL, so I started signing "want brother" over and over. none of the OR folks knew what I was signing, so they found someone who knows a little ASL and they interpreted what i was signing

they told my that I had to wait for a little bit so they could check to make sure my vitals and wrap up my leg(it's a 30 minute waiting period)

when my parents came in, I was offered sprite(You can't eat anything after ten o'clock the night before, or drink anything(even water) after midnight.) because my sugar level was low

!!!start drinking water a week before the surgery!!!it's so much more difficult to find a good vein for the IV!!! my grandma was poked seven times in different places to find a good juicy vein!!!

the anaesthesia will most likely make you feel weird.

I called everyone cute. everyone. nurse, doctor, patient, people who I don't know. everyone. I asked my nurse out on a date. I told my mom who Is married she's jealous of my "mad flirting skills"

You need to eat something on your way home. I stopped and got soup to-go. I recommend soup, just because it is easy on the tummy

You will not have an appetite for at least a week. regardless, you need to eat protein during recovery bc it'll help your Incision.

I keep repeating this but. YOU NEED TO EAT. YOU WILL NOT FEEL LIKE IT. BUT EAT. I AM AN 18-YEAR OLD AND I GO TO A COMMUNITY COLLEGE SO I STAYED HOME. I HAD THREE PEOPLE TELLING ME TO EAT. AND ONE WHO FORCED ME TO EAT. GET YOU SOMEONE THAT WILL MAKE YOU EAT WHEN YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE IT.

your leg will hurt. there's no way to sugar coat. it will hurt a lot.

find something to distract yourself. my Alma Mater was in the state championship for football, and I love football and star wars. I watched The Force Awakens an ungodly amount, that I could quote every. single. character.

just find things to do that you don't need to exert yourself too much. I like colouring books, reading, and watching movies. just have something to do while you recover. please.

you'll get prescribed four things: pain medicine, meds for muscle spasms, meds to help with nausea, and a shot that helps prevent blood clots in my leg while I can't move it regularly

I'm about six days into recovery, and the shots are the worst part currently.

The first three to four days are the worst of it. your nerves are waking up, you're getting used to not bending your knee, your learning how to walk again. they are just bad.

take the pain med when your pain level is a 3 or 4 on a 1-10 scale. it'll kick in right before it gets too bad

on that note. DON'T LET SOMEONE TELL YOU HOW BAD YOU HURT. YOUR BODY. YOUR PAIN. EVERYONE'S PAIN TOLERENCE IS DIFFERENT.

when you stand, it will hurt.

when you put pressure on it, it will hurt.

when you move it, it will hurt.

when you hit it(on anything), it will hurt.

when you have to adjust the brace strap that is riiiiight on top of the incision, it will hurt like no other.

that pain, will pass.

I PROMISE you that the pain will reduce. in the moment it may seem like your leg is on fire, but fight on, Strong Warrior. fight on.

elevate your leg from behind your ankle

elevate when ever you can. you're told to, and 10/10 recommend it because it will reduce swelling

you're gonna swell anyways. a little bit of swelling is normal. it's your body trying to heal it's self.

don't take Ibuprofen: it flushed out the good things that the swelling is bringing to heal your body

ice your knee. ice. ice. ice. it will help with over swelling

you don't HAVE to elevate your foot while you sleep though.

You will not sleep for a couple nights. it will suck. it will be frustrating. and it will awful. last night was the first night since Tuesday(it's a Monday) that I got more than four hours of sleep. You will eventually get sleep though. and personally, I was able to take small naps during the day.

I personally, have self-harm scars on my left thigh. so I was slightly uncomfortable with people being around them. You'll have to have someone wrap an ace bandage around your leg(mine is wrapped from my ankle to mid thigh.). Have someone you are comfortable with touching them wrap your leg.

You may not always be fully comfortable during recovery, but try to get as comfy as you can

Go to physical therapy.

it will help(and it's prescribed)

and for goodness sake. Do your at home exercises they give you. they seem like a waste of time, but they honestly do help.

find a PT group you like. **look on your insurance to find a place that is "in network". it'll cost a whole bunch less.**

for PT it's completely okay to go to different people until you feel comfortable. You will do so much better when you're with someone you trust and can tell they know their shit.

I'm curious by nature, and my therapist has the alphabet behind his name. so if you get a card, Google the letters!

for example, the alphabet behind his name is: PT, DPT, FAAOMPT. When I searched them, I found that PT is the good ol' fashioned Physical Therapist. DPT is Doctorate of Physical Therapy. and FAAOMPT is  American Academy of Orthopedic Manual Physical Therapists("The “Fellow” is a physical therapist who has demonstrated advanced clinical, analytical, and hands-on skills in the treatment of musculoskeletal orthopedic disorders and is internationally recognized for their competence and expertise in the practice of manual physical therapy." Basically, my dude knows his shit).

Warning though, if you're curious about what a certain exercise does, and you ask,they might touch your body and physically show you what muscle the exercise works. and while you're doing an exersice, if you're doing it wrong, they will fix your position themself. this is why I say find someone your comfortable with. They are very hands on. I was lucky because the first one I went to, we hit it off. we both have mutual interests, and he isn't annoyed when I sass him. he sasses me back.

In pictures of me within a couple weeks of the operation, you can see how swollen my foot is. the brace I have is a pretty general brace, and it I locked straight. I cannot bend my leg while I have it on. under it is two ace bandages, and then on my incision there is a steri-strip. My nurse said not to touch it/try to remove it because it's keeping it clean and helping it heal. I got four holes in my knee for a camera and tools. the graph that is now my ACL is from my Patellar tendon, so the incision is between 6-8 inches.

I'll continue to update this as my recovery continues. and if you have any questions, feel free to message or send me an ask!

[anngdoy]

redoing an old one cause its been a while

1:Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie. impromptu movie run with long beach to watch wolf of wall street.  2:Talk about your first kiss. i was being boring then she called me out. and i went for it 3:Talk about the person you have feelings for. thinking of ways to answer this made me smile, thats the best way i can put it 4:Talk about the thing you regret most so far. not changing my diet earlier. its hard losing body fat  5:Talk about the best birthday you’ve had. ryan got me a real ass nendoroid after i told him how i got ripped with a saber from china THANKS RYAN then fam took me to some chinese restaurant idr the name for chinese (it was good) and squid happened to be at little hot pot around the same time and i was like wat fack then i had mini monterey trip with squid for joses and some beach and bless george for not being shotput into the ocean. also picked out bes pumpkin for baymax ehehehehe kept the old post^ 6:Talk about the worst birthday you’ve had. no worst birthdays 7:Talk about your biggest insecurity. not living up to expectations 8:Talk about the thing you are most proud of. i finally graduated after 6 years 9:Talk about little things on your body that you like the most. i can look at the scars on my legs and remember which biking accident it came from. also my biceps are toning up too 

10:Talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had. i fought quoc. he went down 11:Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had. cheesy dream about the future after steph talked about moving in with will 12:Talk about the worst dream you’ve ever had. it was recent but i dont remember anything except waking up pounding my wall 13:Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time. i was a disappointment LOL sorry squid 14:Talk about a vacation. socal roadtrip with squid here: http://anngdoy.tumblr.com/post/159123833220/socal-w-squid-recapmore-first-of-all-i-hate

15:Talk about the time you were most content in life. blackjack table with long beach guys in vegas 16:Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to. brandons party where i met everyone. made so many new friends that ive gotten pretty close to 17:Talk about someone you want to be friends with. manuel from intel. hire me and ill love u forever 18:Talk about something that happened in elementary school. i won the 1st grade division for the book fair. i still have the book   19:Talk about something that happened in middle school. i met david in mrs llyods class. he put white out on my jacket and we ended up becoming best friends 20:Talk about something that happened in high school. i ran a 6:02 mile  21:Talk about a time you had to turn someone down. nah LOL 22:Talk about your worst fear. heights. but i dont mind looking over the glass barriers in the mall  23:Talk about a time someone turned you down. it was a homecoming proposal LOL 24:Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot. -we’ll always be brothers- quoc the night before he left for florida and went mia ~6 years ago 25:Talk about an ex-best friend. ^we met in kindergarten and went through all 12 years of school together. wouldnt say ex best friend, i still consider him as bro, but he just kinda mia’d 26:Talk about things you do when you’re sick. sleep. or listening to squid tell me how im always sick. 27:Talk about your favorite part of someone else’s body. butt.  28:Talk about your fetishes. no fetishes, mostly kinks 29:Talk about what turns you on. lots of things. and squid does em all

30:Talk about what turns you off. i dont think anything turns me off 31:Talk about what you think death is like. black. everythings blacks

32:Talk about a place you remember from your childhood. this one toy store in vietnam that my aunt used to mention in order to bribe me to eat 33:Talk about what you do when you are sad. write, or watch piano videos 34:Talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured. i burned my hand frying chicken 

35:Talk about things you wish you could stop doing. coughing. my room is infected 36:Talk about your guilty pleasures. i enjoy bambi q’s stream 37:Talk about someone you enjoy spending your time with. shes my squid  38:Talk about songs that remind you of certain people. APINK - LUV ben we just started humming it on discord and its stuck for the last 3 weeks 39:Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier. winning lottery numbers  40:Talk about the end of something in your life. probably the end of school life unless i go back for grad school