#ive got that thing queued hehe

[thelov3lybookworm]

WHEN IS YOUR BIRTHDAY?

27 october hehe 🥹🤭

[obey-me-headquarters]

coming to be a nuisance in ur inbox again because this wip just hit 8k words and i STILL have the big climactic bit left to write and im in that stage of writing where ive started at my fic too long so now im like "?? what are this gross nasty dusty old words?" kdfhjgl

good work organizing your masterlist! that's always such a chore skdhfhfdg. plus i found that really cool wing kink thing you wrote for luci and i have a luci fan friend who is huge into any kind of fic about his wings and loves sub!luci hehe~

i find it challenging to write about the demon's inhuman features sometimes, and it was great reading through lucifer's sensations during the experience. loved that one!

also while i am desperately avoiding my wips i will remark that p much nobody writes the kind of extreme kinks i get excited about XD liz's pet au and their writing in general is a pretty good example.

i'm into horror/gore as well, too, so skdhfgldhfg i'm used to my kinks being offputting to people. i have written a bit abt,, demon culture,, and gore-themed romance between demons bc sdkhfglh HEY IF IT GROWS BACK,, i do think i even mentioned detachable dicks to u so u probs know some of that sdkhfglkh

okay ty for listening i go back to my wip now

HEY! Your never a nuisance in my inbox!! I love getting your asks!!

Gosh if that is not a wip mood lol. I think I have like... at least two or three current wips that I want to finish that are Long and keep getting too disacted to finish lol. I think one of the main reasons why my Mini Fic section is so big in my masterlist is because I work best with short, a few paragraphs at most, ideas or ease I loose steam lol. It's bad for writting but it does mean I come up with a lot of ideas at least?

I'm glad you liked the Luci wing kink stuff!! One of the reasons why I really wanted to update my masterlist is because I didn't think a lot of people were seeing some my works I posted at weird times lol. I hope your friend enjoys the post! Gosh I love Lucifer with bird instincts I really want to do more with it lol. Is it technically pregnancy kink if Lucifer is being broody about eggs lol? French fries has lowkey got me into pregnancy kink, but I don't actually like the more technically issues with pregnancy, so now I'm just imagining what a broody Luci would be like lol.

I totally understand not really knowing how to write about the demon's more inhuman features. Quite a few of them don't really have an animal associated with them and more just has random horns or stuff. I only really Lucifer easier to write because Bird.

Also...yeahi totally get the thing about having hard kinks lol. I don't think my kinks are hard, like gore or anything like that (although I do enjoy a good *written* gore post some times, depands on how it's written. I went crazy about your demon courting post that was top notch. I absolutely love the idea that demons have a different culture than humans.) I just think one of my kinks are more....weirder. Like, full confession time, I got some of my kinks from hentai manga. This was mainly because I didn't like real life porn and tumblr smut was full of written fics about real people. So i really only had Ao3. So I'm not really surprised that a lot of stuff I find hot I see no contact for lol. I do have one of my more, Weirder kinks content queued up so look forward to seeing that soon I guess?? I'm trying to face my fear and be more relaxed about the content the put out there.

Good luck on your wip!! :D

[farty-city]

inside bo burnham review no one asked for

i enjoy other peoples commentary and i was writing down my first thoughts anyway so here it is

inside

first song/intro song

i like the phone screen on him, very reflective of how we have had phone screens on us

“roberts been a little depressed” osnskjdnfs

they were right “daddys made you some content so open wide” hjbfafn

intro

oh my god he looks awful

but like in a cute way

maybe

healing the world with comedy (second song)

the canned and queued laugher no exactly… is it a symbol or is it just funny.. who's to say. 

it think its a good first song, establishing he knows what he is doing is kind of useless 

“the indescribable power of your comedy”

he looks like marc maron rn

i like the synthed voice and synthesizer

the jesus allusion … yeah

“i'm a special kind of white guy”

this feels like he knows how he is perceived by fans.. Make happy was too much

his fucking dancing fksjdnfksj

i think he did a good job looking manic

the lasers lmao

Side 1

Bo made a huge gamble releasing this like,,, what if you just stumbled upon it and this was ur first introduction to him..

I bet its like when i comment dumb things on instagram comments and get that rush of hehehehe

NO NOT BO DEVELOPING BILLIE EILLISH VOWELS

Also this is exactly what he wanted like,, he just wanted to make his things and not deal with the crowds so..

To think i was like finding scraps of him performing at largo and stuff and now,, so much content

life imitates art

the way he's literally what he wrote hgbkdf

there is no authenticity with cameras

suicide ?

 facetime with my mom tonight

the blue light.. Yeah

o hblue like sad

i don't know how i feel about the electric music but i guess its no different than whatever else i listen to

this is sad wow

still catchy etc

side 2

i wonder if here will be any fart jokes

that is how the world works (songs)

the huge mess and then him in a sweater

this is reminiscent of that walmart muppets

he became tim minchin with a sock puppet

the “yes… yes sir” stoppp 

jkgdsnfijwkensfosnf

qbejfnjne

nerjgnoejns

bo making a political statement and a metaphor for activism and then making it weirdly kinky

brand consultant (bit)

man bun

i have to believe he filmed it with the beard because quarantine vibes and also bc he was tired of being seen as a child

white womans instagram (song)

i did not like that intro

BO AND GLASSES THANK GOD

the daisies wow just wow

underwear

“white womans instagram” or “bo burnham becomes a girlboss”

i like that he didn't lose his cadence like the way the rhymes are you can still tell its him

i don't get the mom part sorry

is it like how people are very superficial but also very personal on their instagrams

this part was legit sad

side 3

i wonder how he felt with cameras constantly on him

Although this is the point hes trying to make

lol seinfeld moment (bit)

unpaid intern (bit and song)

“barely people somehow legal” was so smooth woW

omg he was scatting

he was a man who would scat

oh my god what great news

the react clip omg

i cant believe he did that oh my god

observation/critisism and response to the “can anyone shut the fuck up” 

and as i realized what he was doing he was like “i have this need for everything i make to have a deeper meaning” oh my god

now the question is how long will this go on?

jeffrey bezos (song)

idk its catchy

and then theres him like sleeping and talking which kind of is part of the jeff bezos song

bug eyes salamanders hehe

sexting (song)

i do believe this is just a silly song 

the earrings tho omg

sounds like post malone hbkjdsnfskj

idk its still about like intimacy in quarantine and that stuff..

the knife (bit)

i know hes copying like other youtubers but like,,, what

stuck in a room (song)

the intro is very funny and relatable

classic bo i love it 

i will say this special has been more reflective but i suppose it has to be

“look whos inside again”

i like the end too, this is all a fabrication

this is the clip where hes staring at the projection of himself from his old youtube videos which is sort of more like an ending to the “stuck in my room” song

 sorry (song)

i love the 80’s style music and its like zumba

oh this is like an apology song

“father please forgive me for i did not realise what i did, or that id live to regret it” what a catchy line

i would say this is another more “classic” bo song where its self aware and funny

“my closet it chalk full of stuff that is vaguely shitty” 

camera falling

this deserves its own bullet because its silly

i'm turning 30 (bit and song)

i remember him talking about this on a podcast and like,, damn i didn't know this also happened LOL

i really like how he did the lighting 

“stupid fucking ugly boring children”

suicide talk (1)

this is interesting i like the use of the projection

this is something that could never have happened onstage

just like with the it being projected on him

i guess it could but it would have to be done differently and probably hed have to make it funnier to make it more engaging

intermission

i just checked this is about the halfway point.. Mh

i don't wanna know (song)

“i thought it’d be over by now”

i wish this was longer but i kind of like how its just a little snippet and then the cut

video game (bit)

“i guess i’ll cry again”

“is the dude big or is the room small” lol

hm depression

 feelin like shit (song)

ohh the lighting is fun again

this is the tone shift i suppose

the feels like supalonely and the new kind of music

atl

:(

panic attack 

everything all of the time (song)

feels like brandon rogers 

i enjoy this

this feels like “welcome to youtube” grew up

“a little bit of everything all of the time”

“apathys a tragedy and boredoms a crime”

ok olivia rodrigo

finishing the special (bit)

these feel like diary entries but as standup

interesting choice

jeffery bezos (2)

Why the seaweed suit

Where did he get that

the digital space (bit)

suit up, gather what is needed, and return to the surface

damn

pirate map anfdkjfnskjd

this was so stupid (affectonate)

that funny feeling (song)

the campfire vibes 

kenny loggins

i don't get it..

is it about childhood, is it about the present?

i think its talking about the end of content? 

“the end of culture”, to quote make happy

change and not liking it 

“we were overdue, but it will be over soon”

if the second half of the special is like a panic attack this song is like a momentary pause before it gets worse

“so ive been working on this special”/breakdown 

this was .. uncomfortable and genuine which i'm sure is why he kept it

all eyes on me (song/rant)

another sad thing to watch.. damn

me trying to tell if the audio was from make happy

i think he was trying to make it as if the audio was from make happy 

this feels.. familiar

and obviously that is the point

“come on in the waters fine”

the use of autotune during the talking part... yeah

sad that he was gonna make another special… and it would have been totally different than this

i’ve decided i like the homage to make happy

It feels like hes made peace with it

the montage of him waking up and the “i think i'm done”

and then of course the ending where he's watching it over to remind us that its all fabricated

possible ending song/ “i promise to never go outside again”

ngl he looks good in the shirt with the haircut hehe

which i feel like is what he wants up to notice

and then like not think after we saw all his breakdowns

“i want to hear you tell a joke when no ones laughing in the background”

i really like the medley

Final thoughts

I want a blooper reel, but this doesn't seem like the kind of special

I also wonder if the songs will be on like apple music, but again, doesn't seem like the kind of special

I'm happy for him, he got to be honest and open and show us the sort of panicky stuff

this self aware comedy is exactly the stuff that i think will be making a comeback in the next decade.  John better be pulling up with more deconstructed comedy. 

I hope this has given him peace

[mingi-bubu]

Watch “Flower of Evil” with Me!

Episode 6

well damn its been a minute eh?

forgive me i’ve been also not good at other parts of life too aldkfjas;lkjdf

but anyways, the show is queued, i have my water, its freezing in my apartment

as the wonderful strawberry headed mark lee would say, lezgeddit

okay last i recall they were like getting joongi from the pool where he almost died

this blond man is wearing the *ugliest* shirt in the world where can i get it

OH FUCK THAT BODY FUCKING FLEWW

joongi baobei are you okay???

jesus dude the driver was so slow to see if the guy he hit is alive im

hes covered in blood and groaning but no im sure he feels just fucking fine

like a goddamn field of daisies im sure

no hospital

inchresitng

i mean we know why but sitll

OH MY GOD HES IN THE HOSPTIAL NOW PRESENT DAY STYLE

i hathe the way this is being filmed im just not a fan of the shaky cam stuff

i know he lives so im not pressed rn

oh is

is this bby joongi???

seems like

oh shit thats uhhhhh

thats blood huh

jesus fuck i hate seeing the dad

joongi pretty

i know i shouldnt be like focused on that rnbut

prettyyyyy

sir stop movingggg

you are just survived drowning

the fact that those STOP TAKING THE THINGS OFF OF YOU DUMMY

ew feet

FUCKING THAIAEPIHFIO;AJFOI;AHWER THIS IS WHY YOU DONT TRY TO DO THINGS IF YOU ARE JUST WOKE UP IN THE HOSPITAL OH MY  G O D

ooh he got that vip room then huh

is this real or like a horrible dream

that looks like sangyeon

what is happening

oh thank god

he said skrrt

jiwonnie

is she gonna slap him???

is she gonna hug hm??

oh thank god joonwon lives on

hehe rhymes

the fact that i can’t hear “it’s okay” in korean without thinking about exo’s playboy says a  lot about whom i am as a person no?

oh reporter-nim

he’s looking better

damn we get to hear a lot about his now huh

is that the father?

why read out this in front of eunha????

fuckign commrcials idc about acura

induced hypothermia?

oh interesing

memory issues oh yikes

shut the fUCK UP WITH THAT SMILE

oh my god hes joking stoppp shes so cuteee

im perhaps emotional over this

i love the relationship with eunha and joongi above all else

wow the dad sure does know how to lie in front of popel

oof this is awkward

i am lie spanish monkey meme rn

oh eunha....baobei.....

the way i am willing to die for the child

shes my favorite charcter

OH SHIT HE REALLY DID JUST CORRECT HIS MOTHER OMG

jiwon c’mon be obviousss

make his state a bit more unstable perhaps

ugh this guy is still alive

he is a vegetable???

bro he got hit in the brain like...idk how to tell you this chief but

eunha looks so much like cha-ssi

like i guess we know whose genes won out in this family no?

she aint even gonna give her a hug???  and shes in her lil pink overalls too

smh

oooooh tea

oooooooOOOOOOHHHH TEA

just make his condition more unstable ???

LITERALLY WHAT IS THE BACKSTORY ON THIS FAMILY I CANNOT UNDERSTAND FUCK

normally with the other dramas ive watched i’ve already read the wiki and stuff for spoilers but liek???  i cant now

NO DONT SAY THAT JOONGI’S MOM

oh detective cutie is back i lvoe it

FUCKIG COMMERCIALS

oh ok this is kinda cute i take it back i love the goldfish commercials that are like stop motion and shit

jiwon unnie are you okay?

this doctor is

like i understand but still

the way i want to give her a hug now fUCK

akdjfalsdjf why is he so adoralbe

i amm poropoisng to him

can they really arrest a man if he just stares and says nothing??

oh shit

i really did say make the body more unstable but fuck this is uhhhhh

hm

joongi looks so nice for having been unconscious for five or more days

i love how cautious with his words that dect. cutie is being

aldkfjasldk he said we gotta get our storeisAJDFLAKDSJF DONT COMPLIENTMENT AKJFA;LSDJ

the bathroom doors are nice

what is reporter-nim doing

i love this cleaning lady she’s fun

ooooohhhhh she said too much O.O

i am eyes emoji

OH FUCK WHAT WAS THAT FLINCH

im so worrieeeeedddd about thier relatiohnship

please

asldfjasdlfj poor dect. cutie he really was thirdwheeling

DETETCTIVE CHIOI IM SICKKKK

HES SO JASD;LFKAJSD;LKFJASD DRAMATIC BITCH I LVOEEEEE HIMMMMM

alsdkfjasldkfj the way that OH MY GOD

this is so fucking funny i cant

boong

dect cutie is like what the fuck we really starting with the hard questions huh

FUCKING COMMERCIALS RIGHT WHEN JIWON WAS ONNA SCOLD HIM FUCK

oooh leading questions shes iconic

ooooooh shit

dect cutie please decide on OOOOHHHH shes skedooting out

jesus choi im

cutieeee

aldskfjasld;jf he fucking

wow dect choi

the way that joongi is like :)

oooooh

tensities

tension thats the word

exactly

oh shit backstoryyy

OH FU CK

T E A

I AM LIVING FOR THISSSSS

i mean like choi was right but still

all of this is still being recorded lmao

oh shitttt

i need to keep remembering hojoon’s name but anyways im in love with him

the drama of it all ugh i love

oooh the murdered man’s widow has tea to spilll

i think they meant disguise but im not positive

fuck i really want chinese food now

who let reporters in????

oh

oh no

dont give jiwon ideas

fuck

shit

and goddamn

aish

this is horrifying to see like in a very haunting way

literally does he have the like legal ability to do this

i mean i guess its no longer an active crime scene its fine, no?

i hateeee commercials

i dont care for using an online dating site though the video chat feature is actualy a good idea i will say

i want a quesedilla

then why are you acting so sketch jiwon

lady

jiwon please

just spit it out

oh

probably not is my guess

aish what

“what are you?”

i dont

i mean i tihnk all of y’all so go to thereapy but like

thats just me

girl

yo i have so many questions and so does she but like

what

yooooo

OH SHIT

OH FUCK

OH SHIT OH MY GOD

NO HE DIDN NOT

OH F U C K

OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK

OHM Y OGD WHAT THE FUCK

CHRIST

what season is it if their breaths are able to be seen

dude

a human rights issue

reporter-nim

oh shit this guy im sick

i loVE HER DAUGHTER

iconic

awehhh eunha looked adorable there omg

ooooh the condition of that man is going to be more unstable

oops :)

what???  is she doing???

forensics kit?

i dont?

okay that was so obiusly edited in FUCK

thats uhhhhhh

thats a lot

yinks thisnt good

oh

OH NO SHE IS NOT GOING INTO THE BA

OH MUY GOD

NOOO

I

WAHT

ARE PEOPLE REALLY NOT GOING TO RECOGNIZE YOU JOONGI

THINK A LIL EH??

oh jiwon are you sure

did he ever clean up after reporter-nim?

i mean even if he did it wouldnt necessarily matter i suppose bc forensics

oh a mask

yeah thats a smart idea

awehhh im so nervousss

oh no

yikes

that guy is faking his comatic state huh

if his eyes snap open im fucking calling it

FUCKING CHRIST IM SICK OF THIS SHIT

I CANAT STAND THIS MAN

jseuss

god he looks hot a s a nurse tho

fuck

what is going on

a-fucking-pparently it is

dude seriously

but joongi

you still have loose ends you dont know about

oh  noooo

i dont want to see anything on the floor please

FUCK

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

godmanti

commercials

in korean

i dont care about toyota thank you

why are you hesitating

oh

he wants to understand jiwon

oh no

oh bro

youre really shit at your job

but joongi is gone

bc you wouldnt fucking listen to him before dick

did he???

not kill him????

im so confused

OH FUCK HE

he really didnt kill hm huh

oh fuck ing

oh no jiwon

oooohhh baby eunhaaaa

shes so cute oh my gooooddddd

oh god

this is fucking heartbreaking

god

his watchhhh

oh reporter-nim got the cleaning lady to do this

the talking about the second guy

jesus thats horrifying to see i hate that

FUCKIGN COERRMECIASL

WE WERE ABOUT TO FIND OUT WHY HER STORY CHANGED UGH I HATE IT HERE

what i that

please tell us

OH FUCK ITS THE CASSETTE FROM HER HOME

EUNHAAAAA

AIGOOOOOO THAT WAS SO CUTEEE

SHES SO CUTE IN HER LIL OUTFIT

what fucking cloud?

i dont understand

a duffel bag?

oh my god

OH MY GOD

WHAT IDFSLKJASLKDJFAWE IM SO TENSE

oh my god this is so tense

oh fuc i didnt remember that the widow was pregnant

thisis some weird copaganda ngl

but moving on

shes deffo talking to herself more than the widow

your eyes can trick you

but also why is joongi so handsome i cant stand it

anyway

thats all for this episode!

i have many thoughts and feelings about seeing joongi with a kiddo

oh shit

the peeks into the next episode hhhhhhhh

but its late and i told my roommate we’d get ramen for lunch so i gotta mcsleep now

thank you for reading!!!

stay safe and stay healthy <333

[porkchop-ao3]

Charlie Foxtrot: Part 1/7

I have been working on this for WEEKS, it was initially going to be a one shot smut fic, but Tailor Rick had other ideas and made it all about him, so. This is rather a long fic, I’ve split it into 7 parts, but I worked really hard on this and I poured so much into it, I really hope someone will read this and enjoy it. It’s quite angsty, but I think it reveals a lot about Tailor’s character, and I’m proud of it. This is probably my favourite thing I’ve written. 

This is a fic involving Tailor (obviously) and one of the SEAL team Ricks; the bald one with the beard. It contains sex, but it’s not wildly descriptive like my usual smut, the focus is more on how their relationship changes over time. Thank you to @hoodoo12 for reading this and helping me out at multiple stages through this story!

I enjoyed characterising the SEAL team Rick, I haven’t seen him written about much so I had fun with it. A few headcanons formed as I was writing him, one of them being a certain accent, hehe. This fic is linked in with my usual OC universe, and the ‘reader’ from those fics, i.e. Tailor’s assistant, makes an appearance. As does Hairstylist Rick, one of Tailor’s special friends. I sincerely hope you enjoy this! 

-

Queuing up at a coffee shop was not something Tailor did often. His assistant would normally do it for him, though she was spending a weekend with her boyfriend. This had already put him in a bad mood, but to make matters worse the coffee shop just happened to be at the Citadel, of all places. Though Tailor usually vowed never to consume anything produced at the Citadel, he was sure he would die without a coffee, and so there he was, standing with arms crossed as he waited to be served.

The hipster looking Rick working behind the counter finally turned to serve him. He wore his hair in a man-bun and had a rather impressive beard, and under the apron he was wearing Tailor could see one heck of a garishly patterned shirt. The barista stared at him for a moment expectantly, and Tailor tutted when he didn't get the polite greeting he had been waiting for.

“Good afternoon,” he said with a bite to his tone. “One black coffee please. W-with two shots of espresso and three sugars. Please.”

“Sugar's over there, you help yourself. What's your dimension code?” the barista replied, his expression not changing once. Tailor told him then the barista held his hand out to him. “Fifteen schmeckles.”

Tailor narrowed his eyes but handed him the money anyway. He was then ushered over to the side where other Ricks were waiting for their orders. Tailor put some distance between him and the others, not wanting to make eye contact and get stuck talking to one of them, heaven forbid. Not that Ricks were the most conversational of people, but there was a smiley looking guy with a lazy eye and a bowl cut looking his way and Tailor did not want to encourage him. He stood there with his eyes planted firmly on the Rick behind the counter preparing drinks. He liked to keep an eye on the people preparing his food, when given the chance.

It was a couple of minutes before he finally got his order and he marched over and took it from the barista. He shuffled over to where the sugar and napkins were and set to work stirring in three sachets of sugar one by one. He stared down into it and sighed as he watched the sugar dissolve. It'd been a long morning and he had been running on one cup of coffee. That was not good. He'd been at the Council of Ricks’ offices to discuss new robes. He'd been desperate to redesign their uniforms for years and was finally given the opportunity. It was bittersweet, however, the head of the Council, Riq IV, could be a bit of a dick and Tailor couldn't quite work out if they'd get along or not.

Tailor picked up his drink and turned around as he started closing the lid on it. He didn't even notice the body that was standing directly behind him, and walked straight into it. His instinct was to apologise and move on, he wasn't one for confrontation. That was until he registered the heat spreading across his chest, which he soon realised was his coffee. His fresh, black coffee. Black coffee. On his suit. His white shirt. His baby pink suit jacket. Baby pink. Black coffee. His jacket... Thousands of pounds worth of jacket... Black coffee.

“What on earth are you doing, you bloody idiot!? Don't you see me standing here? Why are you standing so fucking close? Get the fuck away from me, haven't you ever heard of personal space?! Look at me! Look at my fucking suit! Do you have any idea how much this costs you thick skulled, absolute bloody wanker!?” Words just erupted from him without control. He could sense everyone around him staring but all he could focus on was the dark stain all over his front. He was livid. It was beginning to hurt, the heat from the coffee, but he didn't care.

“Uhh–” the other Rick started.

“Look! Th-tha-that's never going to come out! I hope you have your fucking wallet with you because otherwise we're going to–” Tailor finally looked up at the man he was yelling at, and stalled. “We're going to- um, you'll- we'll have…” he mumbled, his eyes glazing over as he took in the solid wall of muscle at eye level, the dog tags hanging around his neck, then the stern expression of the bald headed Rick he'd just lost his shit at. He seemed to be a military Rick. Of course, who else would Tailor have just called a thick skulled, absolute bloody wanker?

The Rick quirked a brow at him, waiting patiently for him to continue. Tailor cleared his throat, turned and tossed the remainder of his coffee in the bin behind him, and then arranged his face into a more composed expression.

“It doesn't matter,” he said, his voice smaller than before. He forced the next words from his lips despite it going against every fiber of his being. “It's just a suit.”

The bald, ripped Rick gave Tailor an odd look, sizing him up and analysing him. He had a large yet well groomed beard – no moustache – and numerous piercings. There was a plug stretching each earlobe and a stud above his top lip; Tailor would've turned his nose up if he wasn't worried about pissing him off any more. He squirmed under the attention, wanting nothing else but to run away from the situation and hightail it back home. That wasn't going to happen, it seemed. The Rick wasn't moving out of his way.

Feeling a need to fill the silence, Tailor spoke. “I apologise for my language. I didn't mean to cause offense.”

The other Rick frowned for a few moments, and Tailor felt his pulse pounding in his skull, almost giving him a headache. Suddenly, however, Rick smiled, then chuckled.

“I've heard worse, and from more intimidating folk, too,” he finally spoke, his voice not at all like Tailor had expected. He had a southern drawl, softer around the edges than he'd come to expect from most Ricks. It was still deep and a little gravelly, but he sounded… friendly? Friendly and extremely kind on the ears. “I'm sorry about th-that suit of yours. What d’ I owe you?”

He was reaching into his pocket for his wallet, and Tailor could do no more than stare. He was half expecting a swift punch to the face considering how he'd yelled at him just moments ago, and he was just stunned he still had all his teeth. He was also stunned at how opening his mouth had made him about twice as attractive.

“Um, that's quite alright. N-not to worry. I know a lady who- maybe she can get the stain out.”

“I don't know, black coffee sure is a son of a bitch,” Rick frowned, looking down at the stain on Tailor's shirt.

He didn't seem to mind about the splatter up his own front, but he was just wearing an off white wife beater. One that showed off just how thick his arms were, how toned his muscles were. He saw the edges of tattoos peeking out from over his shoulders; they must've covered his back. Tailor swallowed hard and averted his eyes.

“I don't want your money. It's fine,” he murmured, adjusting his tie, as if that was going to do something to make him look better.

“At least let me take you back to mine, get you out of that suit.”

“I'm sorry?” Tailor balked, his face immediately heating up, his eyes watering at the sudden pressure of the blood rushing to his head.

Rick smirked, clearly amused.

“I've got some detergent back at my place, su-supposed to be real good. If we get that shirt and jacket washed fast we might be able to save it.”

“Oh! Oh right. Of course. Yes, that's probably for the best.” Tailor nodded, instantly regretting his reply. He'd been so relieved to have his lewd misunderstanding cleared up that he hadn't really been concentrating on his own response. But there was no going back now.

“It's just up the street from here. Two minute walk!” Rick smiled, a lopsided kind of smile that was incredibly endearing. Tailor winced.

“Actually, I–” his sentence fell short and he sighed. Rick had already turned and was heading for the door, Tailor had no choice but to just follow.

Rick's home really was just a short walk away in an apartment block. It was pretty average, Tailor thought, and he noticed quickly that the place was lived in. It wasn't a complete pigsty, but it was far from neat and tidy. Tailor started to wonder what he was getting himself into, but he found himself just rolling with it. He agreed when Rick offered to make him a cup of coffee, he wasn't a huge fan of that instant stuff but he wouldn't complain, he still needed some. He took a seat at the kitchen table as he waited, brushing away a collection of crumbs from in front of him.

“You wanna take off that shirt and jacket? I can- I'll toss it in the wash.”

“Oh, yes, b-but it must be a gentle cycle,” Tailor warned, slipping off his jacket. He cleared the pockets of their items, leaving them on the table.

“Gentle?”

“Yes. Perhaps you have a delicates setting?” Tailor questioned, handing the jacket off to him. He was looking back at him with a blank expression and Tailor held back a sigh. “Don't worry. Whatever you usually put it on will be fine, I suppose.”

“You wanna borrow a shirt or something?” Rick asked, looking down at Tailor's shirt again.

Tailor hadn't really thought about taking his shirt off in front of this guy until now, and he was suddenly very nervous. Why on earth had he accepted this damn invitation?

“Um… yes. I suppose I should. Thank you,” he finally replied after a pause that was far too long.

Rick nodded and left the room for a while. Tailor groaned quietly, brushing his hand backwards through his hair to tame non existent flyaways, then he loosened his floral tie. He unbuttoned his shirt and was shrugging it off just as Rick returned.

“I tried to find somethin’ that might be to your taste,” he said, holding out a button up shirt to him.

The thing was creased up to hell. It looked like it'd been sat at the bottom of a drawer for God knows how long, but Tailor appreciated the effort. He swapped with him, and dressed in the borrowed shirt. It swamped him, given Rick was a lot more bulky than Tailor, and he found himself heating up in the face again.

He felt like some chick dressing up in her boyfriend's dress shirts. He'd never worn anything so ill fitting.

After starting up the washing machine, Rick placed a cup of coffee down in front of Tailor as he finished up buttoning his shirt; he left the top few buttons open, his own tie hanging loose around his neck. It smelled musky and faintly of cigarettes, it didn't seem to have been worn for a while, and Tailor wondered if it’d even been washed since the last time Rick had worn it. Oddly enough, the thought stirred something in him and he crossed one leg over the other, clearing his throat as he took a sip of his drink to distract himself. He burned his tongue, but didn't react.

“How's the coffee?” Rick asked him, looking at the spot where Tailor was resting the mug against his lip, blowing into it to help cool it.

“It’s fine, thank you. Coffee's coffee,” he said. “It's perhaps the one thing I'm not particularly picky about.”

“Huh? Is that so?” he replied, and Tailor caught the beginnings of a smirk as he lifted his own cup.

Tailor raised a brow, ready to question him, but decided to change the subject.

“You're in the military,” he stated. He'd noticed a few things laying around the apartment, photographs of him in uniform, with other Ricks in matching clothes. The dog tags around his neck were a giveaway too.

“SEAL team.” Rick replied. There was nothing arrogant about the way he said it, Tailor was surprised at how matter-of-fact he was.

“Well, then I feel as though I owe you an apology,” Tailor forced himself to say, lifting his head, holding his chin high.

Rick frowned. “What for?”

“For lashing out at you, calling you a thick skulled wanker, and so on.”

“You already apologised for that,” Rick pointed out, cupping his hands around the mug of coffee.

“Yes, well, I wanted to make sure there were no hard feelings.”

“Sir, I invited you into my home, washed your clothes and gave you some of my coffee. Does it look like there's hard feelings? Don't worry about it. Water off a duck’s back.”

“I meant no disrespect, if I'd have known who you were I'd never have dreamed about speaking to you in such a way,” Tailor admitted, avoiding eye contact. His face felt awfully hot.

“B-but if I was just some other Rick, some barista or store assistant, you'd have stood by it all?” Rick snorted, cocking a brow and smirking.

“Of course,” Tailor said, taking a sip of coffee. Rick chuckled, shaking his head.

“Fair enough. So what do you do with yourself? You look pretty fancy in that suit, must be doing well.” He jabbed a thumb in the direction of the washing machine.

“That suit is one of mine. I mean, I made it. I-I-I'm a tailor, a dressmaker, a designer.”

“Oh! I ain't seen you around the Citadel before.”

“That's because I don't work here. I was just meeting with the Council today, I'm working on some designs for them,” Tailor said nonchalantly, not even noticing the way the other Rick's eyes widened.

“You work for the damn Council? Holy shit, you are doing well.”

“The Council? I suppose it's a pretty high profile job. Though, I've worked for royalty back in my home dimension, so it's rather a step down.”

“You design the crown jewels or something?” Rick snorted. “I've never really heard of a British Rick. I know they're out there but you're the first I've met.”

“And you're the first Rick I've met with that lovely southern drawl,” Tailor replied, his tone lowering into a flirtatious one unintentionally. The other Rick blinked at him, his expression unchanging. Tailor quickly moved on, dropping his gaze to the mug. “I've made multiple dresses for her majesty the Queen, wonderful lady, absolute pleasure to work for. I've worked on suits for Prince Harry and William. Their wives have both worn dresses by me. Actually, I've been told to expect a call about a special commission for the Duchess of Cambridge.”

“Wow. You're a real hot shot, huh?”

“Well, I've worked hard to make a name for myself.”

“I believe that,” Rick nodded, his gaze lingering on Tailor for a few moments before he looked away. The two fell into silence for a while as they drank their coffee.

TBC...