#ive defo felt attraction/infatuation
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every now and then i remember im somewhere on the aroace spectrum and i just kinda stop in my tracks and go 'huh!' and try not to sit on it for very long
#i dont really? get crushes? ive never fallen in love#ive defo felt attraction/infatuation#but the idea of living in a space with someone else and being romantic with them.... it would have to be a very specific kind of person.#to the point where i often feel its unlikely i would find someone like yhat#i dont know if its also because of my autism because thats always made sharing spaces with people hell for me#i dont go on holidays with my family anymore because they make me miserable#havent for 6 or 7 years now#i was surprised by how easy it was to coexist with my roommates on the greek/italy trip i went on when i was 17#but i suspect that was because i'd known and been close friends with one of the girls for 5 years#and i suspect both are also on the spectrum. at the very least they have some autistic traits that dont quantify a diagnosis#but made coexisting in the same space without encroaching on one another very easy#as for sex im just neutral on that#dont care much either way#so i guess this would make me demi? if i were to be specific#but that feels exhausting to have to come out as and explain over and over so i dont#which is why i just call myself bi because that fits#im bi and im demi#this was brought on by going through the trending aroace tag and being like ''wow i relate to everything here a bit. Too much''#as someone who was on tumblr during 2017-2019 i saw the worst of the exclusionist community and the fake aroace blogs made for mockery#i'd say thats a large reason i try not to dwell on it#all of that has just made me so uncomfortable to think on/about my sexuality
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