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wellntruly · 5 years ago

Note

hey i know its Literally Years Later but ive been going through your hannibal recaps again and ive made it all the way to the end of the Super Concise ones and 3.12 seems to not exist anymore? it just says Not Found. I know a couple of the s1 ans s2 ones got caught up in the december purge so im assuming thats what happened here. TLDR hi i love your stuff, do you still have a copy of that one so i can read it again? thanks

FROM ALL THE WAY BACK IN 2015…..

HANNIBAL RECAP: S3E12

Last time on Hannibal: Hannibal tried to get Will’s family killed and Will was all “I hate you and I know you still like me but i don’t like you i don’t care what your stupid friends say you make me touch your hands for stupid reasons u accidentally say you hugged me i will never like you again I HATE YOU I HATE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS DAMN WORLDDDDDDDDDD”

But Hannibal’s just like, “you don’t hate me you just hate change.”

This time on Hannibal: You are cordially invited to the Third Annual CHILTON MAIM-FEST 2015

Season 3, Episode 12: “The Number of the Beast is 666…”

So, this is the longest recap I’ve written yet? Seriously, pack a snack my friends, it’s the PENULTIMATE EPISODE and we’re diving headlong here.

We begin, Will in Bedelia’s home-office again, talking about his troubles. In a development I couldn’t have even dreamed of, it seems that Will is legitimately seeing Dr. Du Maurier now, as his new therapist. HOW WONDERFUL.

Not wonderful though: Will is helplessly seeing himself killing Molly, the way the Dragon killed Mrs. Jacobi & Mrs. Leeds. Oh noo. Bedelia warns that you don’t know when brittle materials will break. It’s a good thing Will’s strength is of the bendy sapling variety then, I tell myself willing it to still be true, pls still be true.

Remember a couple episodes ago when Will asked where Bedelia’s scars were, to match how many he has? Well he’s still on that, wondering what it is that Hannibal is going to take from her, like he’s trying to take Will’s family away. Will Graham is a big believer in reciprocity & justice, which is one of the things that occasionally reminds me why he probably got into law enforcement in the first place. Anyhow, he trades Bedelia a warning of her own: she could still be killed, as “Hannibal has agency in the world.”

“Will raises a good point. Class, any insights on how this character enacts agency within the narrative?” - a liberal arts professor

But Bedelia responds, perfectly: “Hannibal has no intention of seeing me dead by any other hand than his own, and only then if he can eat me. He’s in no position to eat me now.”

Will, shaking with righteousness: “If you play, you pay.”

One time when I was home from college, I was watching tv with my sister while my dad read the newspaper, and apropos of nothing, he suddenly turning to us with an Aesop glint in his eyes, and intoned “When you play with the tiger, you get the teeth.” And then he made fangs with his fingers like the knights in Monty Python & the Holy Grail when they’re talking about the rabbit. So my dad would probably like this line.

Bedelia remarks that Will has paid dearly. “It excites him,” she says with the slightest suggestive wiggle, “that you are marked in this way.” Will genuinely asks why. Because he’s marking you as HIS you beautiful idiot!! Oh my god, I can’t deal with you right now you fucking innocent.

Bedelia also can’t believe she has to deal with this and just goes “why do you think,” and Will bitterly calls her Bluebeard’s wife and she gasps and these two are basically my favorite dynamic on this show right now oh my god. So slow & cool, with their liquid eyes always just about to spill over. Bedelia, a shimmering icicle, tells Will that if she were to be Bluebeard’s wife, she would have preferred to be the last. At first I thought this implied that Will is an earlier wife, blood filling the kitchen floor, but her past tense on “preferred” makes me think that she’s setting Will up as the last wife.

like most things Bedelia says, all interpretations are Way Interesting. also, petition to have Gillian Anderson record an Angela Carter audiobook ASAP.

But you guys. You guys. It seems, after multiple bride references from Bedelia, combined with literally every fucking other thing that Hannibal has done, that Will, world’s blindest empathy detective, is finally beginning to figure out something Important. He asks, carefully, because neither he nor I can believe this is happening right now: “Is Hannibal….in love with me?”

YOU SURE BET, LIL BUD. And YOU SURE BET, WORLD. We have made it 38 episodes into this gay-ass cannibalism show, and finally William Deerheart Graham has just literally asked, out loud with his own mouth: “Is Hannibal in love with me?” AND PEOPLE SAY WE’RE READING TOO FAR INTO IT. NO. LOOK INTO THIS MAN’S EYES.

BRYAN FULLER IS NOT FUCKING AROUND, AND HE WILL GIVE YOU THE POST-ROPE HOMO MURD SHOW OF YOUR DREAMS.

TO WIT, IT CONTINUES —

Bedelia, mouthpiece for a subset of the population for whom the first definition of the word cards is “running one’s fingers through someone’s hair in the present tense,” follows that question up with THIS, which, if I were writing fake lines as a joke, I would have looked at these and thought “oh you’ve gone a bit far on the sexual longing” BUT NO IT’S FUCKING REAL:

Bedelia: “Could he daily feel a stab of hunger for you, and find nourishment at the very sight of you? Yes. But do you ache for him?”

Will completely does not respond to this because he’s having to do a lot of recalculating right now. Oh so that would mean — oh yes and that time too — oh and THAT— oh god. Oh god, and I…? I’m assuming that when we get the deleted scenes we’ll find out that after this Will drives to Muskrat Farm and Alana kindly answers his tentative questions about bisexuality while Margot & the Verger Baby finger-paint in the background.

Meanwhile, at the Baltimore State Hospital for Crimes Against Milton:

Hannibal is talking with Jack about religion. God, the Devil, the Great Red Dragon — and the Lamb, our own Will Graham. The day of the Lamb’s wrath is coming, Hannibal says. This is all very ridiculous and biblical, and I’m pretty sure a quarter of it is just lyrics from Johnny Cash’s “The Man Comes Around.” Which are in turn quotes from the Book of Revelation, I think, but lbr Cash is the Book I know.

“Righteousness is what you and Will have in common,” Hannibal says, and wow they are really pushing Will’s righteousness streak lately aren’t they? “In righteousness the Lamb doth judge, and make war. War against the Great Red Dragon,” he continues. Hannibal’s Will fan site is just like “new url: murder-deer >> murder-lamb”

Jack says that the Dragon is Hannibal, “the Devil himself, bound in the pit,” and Hannibal suggests that makes Jack God, and Jack’s just like, I’m fine with that. Heheh, Jack Crawford. But, “All gods require sacrifices,” Hannibal says. UH OH.

“Half gods are worshipped in wine and flowers. Real gods require blood.” - Hannibal’s favorite Zora Neal Hurston quote

Meanwhile, Dolarhyde kneels in front of his Great Red Dragon print and tears his nails into his own shoulder repeatedly, then scratches lines of blood into the painting. UH OH AGAIN.

CREDITS. Holy hell was that the longest first act ever or am I just losing all sense of time / propriety? Both, probably.

After the creds, Will, Jack, and Alana plot their next move. Will is all bitter about offering his tiny bod up as murder bait again, which is very sad but also very funny to me. God what a specific thing to have as a recurring problem.

WHY DOES THESE KEEP HAPPEN 2 ME

Trying to distract himself from disquieting visions of Alana with the bleeding mirror eyes (shudder), Will then pretty much directly quotes Freddie Lounds from a few episodes ago about using the killer’s narcissistic desire to read about himself. Maybe Will can bash the murderer in print, then go and stand in an open area and wait for Dolarhyde to pounce on him, hoping the FBI can nab him before he gets in a killing blow. It sounds like a joke but this is in fact their real plan. To help it seem less trappy, Alana suggests that they have a professional voice legitimatize what Will’s saying.

Will: “Someone to hide the wire of the snare. Are you volunteering?”Alana, scoffing adorably: “No. I’d have to be a fool.”

SMASH CUT TO FREDERICK CHILTON. AAHHhahahaha, perfect. Chilty, you eminently fuck-with-able fool.

Frederick Chilton, incensed, is presently talking to Hannibal about the psychiatry articles he’s been writing. The most recent one is a special point of bother with him.

Hannibal: “A particularly good one.”Frederick: “It may be my fa-vor-ite!”

Oh my lol.

“I have seen a lot of hostility,” Frederick continues, and yeah I’ll bet, “but this is QUANTIFIABLY BITCHY.”

QUANTIFIABLY. HERE I HAVE CHARTED OUT YOUR BITCHINESS FOR YOU ON THIS DAMNING LINE GRAPH.

Chilton asks if Hannibal thinks he is his nemesis, and Hannibal chuckles “oho no,” because we all know Will is his true Nemesis Mine (god, a lot). But Chilton is SO MAD and it is SO FUNNY. I watched this scene multiple times just for the joy of listening to Broadway baby Raúl Esparza treat his dialogue like a piece of music.

Apparently, Chilton filled his book with lies to save Hannibal’s life (?? why did you do that!) but now Hannibal has gone and refuted his own insanity plea (why did you do that??). Hannibal then falls back on his usual “you’re just not going to be famous, Frederick” and Chilton’s just like “aaauugghhh!!!!1!!” Specifically, he refers to the “freak value” of Hannibal’s byline, and, bitchily, shoots the rolled up journal through one of the sniff holes. Bless u Chilts, I knew you’d be the first to capitalize on these.

I just knew it

Trying to tear Hannibal down a few pegs, Frederick then falls back on his usual: “the Dragon is more interesting than you.” Apparently he’s going to call his next book The Dragon Slayer. Will? Really it should be Jack, Jack the Dragon Slayer, that’s a pretty good reference and I’m surprised no one has made it yet (holy heck, wait — a prize for whoever rewrites me a Hannibal version of “This is the House That Jack Built.”) (WOW SOMEONE DIIIDDD!)

But Hannibal darkly warns Frederick not to get ahead of himself.

ugh, look at this Mikkelsen — now that’s knowing how to use your light

As a parting volley, Chilton then paints a threatening picture of what ending fate has chosen for Hannibal: life in the general ward, featuring prison rape & stewed apricots. It is VERY UNPLEASANT. After leaving Hannibal a personalized copy of his book (bonus unflattering doodles? that’s my guess) Chilton walks out to find Alana leaning against the wall.

much more pleasant

She’s just like “come along Frederick we need you to be useful for a change,” and hauls him off to meet with Jack, Will, and Freddie Lounds. Praise be, it’s a FREDSCAPADE. They explain the plan: having Chilton say unfounded & uncomfortable things about Dolarhyde, Will making them openly insulting, and then publishing the whole thing in TattleCrime to raise the Dragon’s hackles. Freddie mentions that a decent newspaper would never run this, and Will points out that she does not run a decent newspaper.

Will: “You sell T-shirts that say ’The Tooth Fairy is a One-Night Stand’.”Freddie: “I can get you one if you like. You a small or a medium? Small I bet.”Will:

THE SMOLLEST

They get down to business. Freddie sets up a mic on the coffee table in whatever the heck random Washington DC locale they are in, Frederick sits down and begins happily making up bullshit, and Will paces behind him delivering the pithy bites. It goes like this:

Chilton: “The Tooth Fairy’s actions indicate a projective delusion, compensating for intolerable feelings of inadequacy. Smashing mirrors ties these feelings to his appearance—“Will: “Not only is the Tooth Fairy insane, he is ugly, and impotent.”Chilton: “holy—crap, ok”

Chilton barely gets going on his next line before Will jumps in with “He is a vicious, perverted sexual failure. An animal.”

“do you want this to work or what”

Eventually they have enough (more than enough), and Freddie says she’d love a photo of Will in a bathrobe, for reasons, and Will’s just like “no.” Instead he stands by the window so the Tooth Fairy can see where he is, and asks if Chilton wants to be in the picture too. He obviously does.

Several hilarious things happen in quick succession. Jack is adjusting Tiny Freddie’s camera angle…

oh my god

Will & Frederick are having this supremely awkward physical space negotiation at the window…

“Gross, he’s touching me.”“Gross, I’m touching him.”

I think I read in an interview somewhere that Dancy & Esparza are, in real life, very fond of each other, which I think is why they clearly have so much fun loathing one another on camera.

Anyway, Freddie snaps the shot and they’re good to go.

Well what a murderer’s row of things I love there was in this scene! We’ve got:

- Frederick Chilton being a living reaction gif- Freddie Lounds not giving a damn- Will Graham hating everyone- Jack Crawford going “a good thing to do would be [a bad thing to do]”- a vague heist-movie vibe- everything is weirdly sexual- and: jokes about how little Hugh Dancy is

Thank u Bryan xoxo

Later, Jack & Will pace around the courtyard. The plan is “too passive” for Jack’s tastes, they “are playing games in the dark of the moon” (wow), but they don’t really have much else going on, so ehh.

Jack knows, very specifically, that pedestrian traffic drops off in this space:

pretty

at 7:15 pm. He wants Will to take a nice normal alone-time stroll in the dark around 8:30, wearing body armor.

Will: “Seven out of eleven times he’s gone for the head shot, Jack.”Jack, literally: “Yeeaahh…”

Honestly the people that should be most glad that this plan is not going to go the way you wanted it to are YOU, for pete’s sake.

Meanwhile, the plan (this fucking plan) starts to unravel. Dr. Chilton, schmoozing on his cell to some poor soul, walks into a parking garage flanked by bodyguards. Apparently he is going to write another book refuting Hannibal’s refutations, entitled….Blood & Chocolate. Hahaha. Out the rear window of the car, we see his bodyguards each get shot (in the head, JACK. 9 out of 13) while Chilton cluelessly laughs on the phone in his nice leather gloves. PERFECT. God, the stage play-ness of how Chilton gets fucked up on this show is one of my favorite things.

Then Chilton gets yoinked out of the car.

people entering or leaving your field of vision in unexpected ways: not just one of, my ACTUAL FAVORITE THING

Chilton gets woken up, in the Dragon’s lair. OH GOD. It’s happening. Do you feel that change in the wind? It’s that time of the season again! When batshit insane injuries are inflicted on Frederick Chilton, Hannibal’s Kenny. I mean, obviously I’m torn up about it, he is my trash fave, but there’s such a fun loop-the-loop to this. Chilton does awful things, and then awful things happen to Chilton. And repeat.

Raúl Esparza actually has quite a task in this sequence, because he has to balance a whole number of things. He wants us to laugh, as he always does, but he also wants us to be alarmed, because it doesn’t work if it’s just a cartoon character being tortured — it doesn’t work in the context of how we’re supposed to feel about Dolarhyde in these final episodes (legitimated frightened of him), and it also doesn’t work with how much this is gonna mess with Will later. So we need to be laughing, but we also need our heart rates to pick up a bit, we need to flinch. And on top of this, we also need to have at least a moment where we feel for him. Again, this is largely to do with how Will is going to react later. There needs to be something in Chilton that we recognise in ourselves, so that on a level of basic humanity, we regret what happens to him.

So, does he pull all this off? Of course he does, it’s Raúl Esparza.

champ

I think the quote that probably best captures what he does in this scene is this one:

“I have to tell you, I am scared. Man to man, I am scared, and it is very hard to concentrate when you are scared.”

Amazing. This is IDEAL Chilton, because it’s funny, we’re specifically laughing at him, and also it sounds like a paraphrase. This is maybe the thing I most love about Chilton’s dialogue, this strange…I don’t know, formal bluntness that he has. You never have to suss out the subtext to what Chilton says, because it’s all there in the text. It’s hilarious and I adore it.

But anyway, this works so well in this scene because it’s a Perf Chilts Line, but it’s also unnervingly believable, because who doesn’t understand that feeling? For the last two seasons, about the time it became apparent that Chilton was the only one besides Will who actually knew Hannibal for what he is, and was spending all his episodes quoting cannibalism puns, being weirded out by Hannibal’s food, and literally watching scenes on his laptop, that — as much as some of you will probably hate this — Chilton is us. Chilton is a certain part of us, the part that thinks we would be all suave & dark about it if we were in this show, but in reality, if Hannibal winked at us at a dinner party we’d freeze & fluster & look away with an internal monologue of “oh shit oh shit oh shit.” And I am so glad that Esparza has been playing Chilton this way, because it give these Dolarhyde scenes that last recognition element that they needed. Certain moments can hew a little too close, and it’s good that they do.

ANYHOW, this has been a lot about Frederick Chilton, but I love his role in this show, and this is the last chance I get to talk about him so whatever. Also, well-played as it might have been, you don’t really want me to do a blow-by-blow recounting of a 15 min torture sequence do you? Naw, we’re just doing highlights, like:

Dolarhyde’s robe & mask combo, a definite #look

Chilton’s face when he tries to figure out what the right answer is to questions like “do you feel privileged?”

Dolarhyde: “Do you think God is in attendance here?”Chilton: “No, no I do not feel God in this Chili’s tonight.”

The most important broad-strokes thing to happen, I’d say, is probably when Reba shows up with some soup. OH MY GOD. Dolarhyde just lets her in, because theoretically she can’t see the nude dude he has glued to wheelchair and hyperventilating over in the corner, except for the fact the he’s forgotten that she’s Reba and, I would guess, TOTALLY KNOWS HE’S THERE, because as mentioned: nude dude, hyperventilating. I hope this comes into play somehow in the future.

Reba mostly just drops off the soup & some Life Advice and leaves.

Chilton: waaaaaat?

More highlights in the following scene:

- Dolarhyde showing Chilton William Blake slides like the world’s worst art history quiz

“Uh, uh, William Blake’s ‘The Great Red Dragon and the Woman Clothed…In—”“WITH. WITH THE SUN. CHECK MINUS.”

-Dolarhyde asking “do you see“ enough times that it starts to sound very Garrett Jacob Hobbs

- the What’s Better Than This, Just Two Guys Hanging Out moment where Dolarhyde dramatically sheds his robe to pose shirtless in front of Chilton

- Dolarhyde adjusting his camera all “I am an auteur”

Eventually, Dolarhyde says that he’s going to send Dr. Chilton home, with a thermos and some ice, actually, which?? What. Anyway, before that, though, he wants to give him something to remember him by. Oh christ.

One of the problems with Dolarhyde putting on his teeth is that when he did so I suddenly remembered Will saying that the biting was a sexual behaviour as much as a fighting style, and then as if agreeing with me Dolarhyde goes right for Chilton’s mouth.

and he kisses him passionately and that’s it that’s the scene!

Ok no he tears his lips off with his teeth and it’s beyond gruesome, and I don’t know if that’s just Chilton screaming or if there’s an effect on it because I can’t stop screaming myself.

I cannot believe I watched this twice for you all. THE THINGS I DO FOR YOU.

Envelope processing transition! Is there any show on television that uses classical music as well as this one does? Surely not.

All cleared through the x-ray, Alana brings Hannibal his package, not accompanied with a smile. He asks if he may open it in private, and she’s just “No you may not.” A Hannibal’s gotta try. He pulls out a little paper towel-wrapped something. That’s when I realized. IT’S CHILTON’S LIPS. NOOOOOOPE.

WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THIS SHOW AND SENDING FACE PARTS THROUGH THE U.S. POSTAL SERVICE I SWEAR TO GOD.

The….delivery was accompanied by a note saying “With these he OFFENDED ME,” capitalization Dolarhyde’s, and flawless. Hannibal says he was offended by Chilton too, so like, *shrug*. I mean he would shrug, but he’s currently straightjacketed to a dolly. Jack holds up one of Chilton’s lips on a platter.

he’s wearing white gloves and the platter’s silver so really this looks like Hannibal is being served dinner and that is perfect

But why just one lip though?

QUICK CUT

*gulp*

OH MY FUCKING GOD. I SCREAMED, I LAUGHED, I SCREAM-LAUGHED. Frankly they could get away with a lot more editing like this, it is SCARY and HILARIOUS and it totally fits.

Hannibal, unable to suppress his grin: “I’m sorry, Jack. The tragedy of what’s happened to Frederick has put me in an excellent humour.” UNDERSTATEMENT.

Hannibal asks what exactly Alana & Jack’s plan was — oh man, you do not want to hear this Hannibal, you are gonna judge them so hard. Alana tells him that they were using TattleCrime to make the Dragon really mad. Well it sounds dumb now, when we say it out loud. Hannibal observes that it could have just as easily been Alana as opposed to Frederick. “It could have been your lip I was tasting. Again.”

ew do not remind her

Alana halfheartedly tries to blame Hannibal for this, but honestly dear I think he’s actually right on this one: this is all on you guys. :(

Now it’s time to watch the home video Dolarhyde recorded of poor doomed fool Freddie Chilts. Who’s excited!!! I hate this.

oh hey, just now noticing that Dolarhyde has his other home videos playing behind Chilton, like a frame-in-a-frame — #technique

Chilton, repeating after Dolarhyde you may remember, haltingly talks of how privileged he is to witness this artful Dragon becoming, no one here is crazy or impotent, this is all Will Graham’s fault, etc. Alana glances at Will like “oh no” but I hasten to remind everyone in this room that yo, that was what you wanted to happen?? The whole POINT of this fiasco was to get the Dragon furious enough with Will to come after him? I know it is tempting because it is exactly the sort of selfish shit that Frederick would totally pull, but he is not in fact selling Will out here, because you can’t sell out someone who was already trying to sell himself out.

Anyhow. The video goes on. Soon Dolarhyde is addressing Will directly, through Chilton. He tells him to reach behind his back, and feel where his backbone connects to his pelvis. “That is the precise spot — where the Dragon — will snap your spine.” Chilton’s voice breaks here, because he refuses to just leave me in peace.

just LEAVE ME in PEACE, goddamnit

Frederick finishes what the Dragon wanted him to say, and then, well, you know what happens. Apparently that was on camera too.

Sometimes I like to think of Will Graham as one of those fundraising thermometers, only the red designates “horrible shit I have seen,” and once it reaches certain levels you unlock specific breakdowns. Watching Chilton be savaged by Dolarhyde raises him past one of these, and as a result he drops to the floor, clutching his shaking hands over his ears while his vision swims and his breath comes in sickening waves and Chilton screams and screams and screams.

Ok I know it’s like aaauuugghh but please remember this moment because I am going to bring it up again in the next scene. It is Important, to Remember.

Will returns for another complicated therapy hour with Bedelia du Maurier. She asks if he wants to talk about what happened with Frederick Chilton. Will literally looks like this

I don’t know when I’ve last seen framing that more broadcasts “I AM NOT OK :(”

But then Will leans back in his chair, and the camera moves from where it was hovering over his ear, and you can just see Will physically putting on his reflection of Bedelia’s tremulous remove, it’s astonishing. They start talking all slow about divine punishments & retribution, and irony. I mean yes Chilton’s fate IS super thematic, but so is everything on this show. It’s also HORRIFIC. “Damned if I’ll feel,” Will whispers very carefully, and I don’t know what the fuck that means but it upsets me.

Bedelia says that they are all Dante’s pilgrims in the Inferno, and Will retorts, “No we’re not pilgrims, we’re pets. And the Great Red Dragon kills pets first.” Yes sweetheart I know that distresses you.

Speaking of pets, Bedelia then proposes that by putting his hand on Chilton’s shoulder, Will visually claimed him, and that is specifically why what happened happened. Um. No? Wait. Seriously?! This is ridiculous, and I could go on at length over why this is ridiculous, but I think the simplest rebuttal is this: it implies that if Will had simply stood next to Chilton in the picture, at the same close distance, but WITHOUT his hand on his shoulder, then none of this would have gone down. THAT’S INSANE, OF COURSE IT WOULD HAVE. And I would have forgiven this if it just came up here, but Chilton is ALSO going to talk about the hand-on-the-shoulder thing, and I just. I can’t with this. This is a shoulder too far.

ALSO HIS HAND ISN’T EVEN ON HIS SHOULDER IT’S ON THE BACK OF HIS NECK AND THAT’S ACTUALLY FUCKING WEIRDER AND NONE OF YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT THAT.

A big reason why this gets my goat is that they’re using this to once again try to convince Will that he’s ~murderously dangerous~, and I’m a little surprised at Bedelia right now honestly! The best apologistic explanation I can come up with here, to save her from simply being another Hannibal all “ur just a dark little murderer inside aren’t u” and Will going “omg maybe I am??” while I gesture chaotically to the scene immediately before this where he was literally shaking in a ball on the ground because of the violence he’s forced to bear witness to (remember), is that maybe she’s trying to subvert his survivor’s guilt. In earlier episodes, Bedelia has seemed interested in shoring up Will’s strength, in teaching him that it’s ok to protect yourself, even at the expense of “wounded birds.” And I get that as a thing Bedelia would believe, and as a mindset that could be beneficial for Will. And here, really underscoring that Will is complicit in this (because he totally is! he totally is, I am not refuting that, just as Alana & Jack & Freddie are also at fault) helps Will understand the impact that his actions have. You too have agency in the world, Will Graham. And ultimately yeah these could be helpful things/warnings to hear.

But damn if it doesn’t just sound a lot like Hannibal’s manipulative-ass conversations with Will throughout this whole series:

Bedelia: “Touch gives the world an emotional context. The touch of others makes us who we are. It builds trust.”Will: “I put my hand on his shoulder for authenticity.”Bedelia: “To establish that he really told you those insults about the Dragon. Or maybe you wanted to put Dr. Chilton at risk? Just a little?”Will: “I wonder…”Bedelia: “Do you have to wonder?”Will: “…No.”Bedelia: “What did you think the Great Red Dragon would do? You were curious what would happen, that’s apparent. Is this what you were expecting?”Will: “I can’t say I’m surprised.”Bedelia: “Then you might as well have struck the match. That’s participation.”

Like, I AM ALSO NOT SURPRISED THIS HAPPENED, but that doesn’t mean I did it! Although I’m glad you’ve given Will yet another complex about the act of touching, that should be fun times.

Bedelia: “Hannibal Lecter does have agency in the world; he has you.”

Ok I do like that line a whole lot though. That’s nice. I don’t fully agree with it in this context, again because they’re making it specifically Will and specifically that damn hand, but I do think that has a lot of validity in general.

Aaannnnd then flaming Chilton goes rolling down a path in his wheelchair, An Actual Fred On Fire This Time, and plunges into a fountain, because Frederick Chilton will always survive. Now this is ridiculousness I can get behind.

*sploosh*

Think of me what you will, but I would have let myself drown in that fountain. I have offed myself to get out of lucid dreams enough that I know with certainty I would just imagine this too was a dream, a nightmare, and fucking end it. He no longer has lips, vision in one eye, part of his jaw/cheekbone, several internal organs including a kidney and part of his intestines, and now he’s covered head to toe in third-degree burns. IT’S OVER, CASH IN.

But this is why I am not Dr. Chilton, IMPROBABLE SURVIVOR EXTRAORDINAIRE. Every single damn season. It’s fucking beautiful. My darling cockroach.

After the break, Will imagines himself lighting the match and setting Chilton on fire. I am 99% certain they recycled footage from his first openly cannibalistic dinner with Hannibal.

a less visually striking show could probably get away with this — really it’s a compliment

We cut to Jack talking to Will in the hospital. Well, Jack’s mouth is moving, but you can’t really hear what he’s saying, what I like to call the Ring-Fucks-With-Frodo Effect. It really creeps me out, so it’s a personal fave. When the audio comes back in, i.e. when Will has managed to drag his focus back up from the depths, we learn that Chilton said Will’s name when they brought him in to the ER. Oh boy. Will looks about how I feel. Even Jack asks him if he’s ok, and he just goes “Yeah I’m ok.”

Jack: “He’s trashed. You oughta get ready for this.”

again: same

If you thought, oh it’ll be fine, he’ll just be in full-body bandages, JEN, you were wrong. I’ll spare you all a cap of this mess, and instead offer you this:

Will swallows a few dozen times, and then announces that he’s there. Frederick starts talking to him, and I caught maybe half of it the first go round. “Can you understand what he’s saying?” Jack asks. Not entirely, Jack, thank u for asking. Will then becomes our Chilton translator, which is strange on a rational level because why should he be able to understand this better than Jack, but makes Full Sense on an emotional level because it forces him to say out loud all the things that Bedelia suggested about his responsibility for this. I also like the idea that this is why Will can understand Chilton: he’s already hearing this in his head all the time.

And what Chilton says is this: “You set me up. You knew it. You put your hand on me in the picture, like a pet.” It is so OUTLANDISHLY similar to what Bedelia said, that actually, I’m beginning to become Newly Suspicious about this. Is there perhaps some communication going on between some of these parties that we are not privy to? Given that Hannibal seems able to talk to Dolarhyde at any moment, I’m beginning to wonder if he hasn’t also been in contact with Bedelia. Bedelia working with* Hannibal for some inscrutable end is fully within the realm of possibility, I’d say.

*well, “with” — always to some degree for her interests alone

So that’s something I’m going to think about for a bit. In the meantime, Chilton says he saw a black woman, who was blind, and Jack’s like “oh dang that must be Reba!” and instead of a nice happy transition of Reba making a victory cherry pie for having successfully escaped the Great Red Dragon, we cut to her bound up in the back of Dolarhyde’s stalker van. Booooo. He must have gone off after her, and now he’s dragged her back to his murder manse.

Reba, in full “negotiating with a psycho killer” mode, says “I didn’t know you cared this much about me. I’m glad you feel that way, but you scared me with this.” Reba, my darling, this is unbelievably generous, and a Good Tactic probably.

Unfortunately, Dolarhyde just tells her to shut up, and says he has something important to tell her. “Sermon-on-the-Mount important. Ten Commandments important.” Ok, like, chill bro. We’re listening. He tells her about the Leeds & the Jacobis. He tells her he’s the Great Red Dragon.

then he steps back, unfurling his wings

Well, shit.

Anyway if Will doesn’t end every single one of his lines to Hannibal next week with a battle-ready “whatever you’re in love with me” then I will be disappoint.

No real talk though I have no idea what is going to happen in this finale oh good god somebody hold me.

- Earlier Recaps -

#Super Concise & Sensible Hannibal Recaps #Hannibal #Hannibal spoilers #Tarra recaps stuff #thinkin about cannibalism

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punkcryptids · 6 years ago

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LIFE IS STRANGE 2 EPISODE 3

okay, so throughout the recent life is strange games i have made posts such as this one; I would make a bullet-point list of my ideas and thoughts of the game, certain little lines or details and shit. i did this for the farewell episode, i think before the storm (at least one of the episodes), and captain spirit. i tried to do this for life is strange 2, but Tumblr fucking killed itself when i tried, like i even restarted the fucking episode to redo it. so i don't think ive done these for life is strange 2, but honestly they're a lot of fun to rant out my opinions of the game and the little details and shit so, without further ado, here's this -spoiler full- little list.

also, little sidenote: i had no clue this was supposed to come out, i heard jack shit about it so like, the day after it was released i saw an article, googled it, and fucking died and felt so stupid. so anyways. let's begin.

*spoilers ahead, ill tag the post too but smh once got anon hate over this shit*

ok just to start this off, the little like "last time on life is strange" refresher is really nice and unique and i fucking love it still

the wolf drawings v cute

not game related but this fucking incense im burning is floating across the screen and it's so fucking ominous

ALSO NOT GAME RELATED BUT FUCKIN MY HEADPHONES GIVING OUT

why the fuck is Chris a racoon

okay now game points for the a c t u a l fucking game??

ok this fuckin music fuckin kicking

ok i like the choice to start this episode with like a flashback, i really like that choice (also three bullet points in a row i start with "ok" v original)

yo sean wanna give me that weed bag? could use some brother skksks

fuck Daniel his room nice af

honestly the instant thought when Daniel came into Sean's room was that he was stealing his weed? cause I could've sworn that's where it was in the first episode

i love his dad sksksk

i hate that fucking toy okay, it's awful

ok low-key, i hate kids and if i Sean I'd be so annoyed? because like he came into Sean's room when he's been told not to, and like snuck in there, and then lied about Sean hitting him (bc I didn't hit him) and then as soon as Sean goes to apologize he's like "get out" like u little hypocritical shit hhhh. love Daniel but it's fuckin annoying

"and don't touch my stuff" (comes into Sean's room and touches shit)

LITERALLY FUCKING TOOK HIS WATCH BUT "don't touch my stuff"

Sean is a dick to Daniel sometimes but like he still acted like a good brother in the end and i would've been pissed so like good on Sean lmao

JESUS FUCK HIS HAIR

*inhales* AAAAAAAA

love the drawing of the deer smoking

wonder why they got kicked off the ranch

bRO A WEED FARM FUCK HIT ME UP SEAN WHAT U DOIN

i want a fucking joint Jesus Christ Sean fucking share? rude ass

ok so ur shirtless

good doggie

accidentally trapped the dog whoopsies

american grafitti

"fuckin ranch of hell AVOID" what the fuck happened there?

i like penny, he seems cool af

Daniel's fucking hair yikes

also why the hell he being a dick to us for? why the fuck it so hostile?

I like Finn too

"it was my turn" you had been throwing them?? for the entire morning wHY IS HE FUCKIN MAD AT US??

YOU FUCKING USED YOUR POWERS SO I WOULD MISS WHAT THE FUCK

NO FUCK YOU, YOU LITTLE ASSHOLE YOU JUST FUCKING THREW ME

Daniel is pissing me off I s2g

why is asking about the watch a "big choice"

oh okay so finn replaced sean and now daniel is just a little fucking asshole about it

big Joe big angry

he just fuckin hit her head what the fuck hell yeah I'll intervene fuck you??

why does he want to talk to me what the fuck did i do

okay if Daniel loses us this job i will fight him

am i really trimming weed rn i dont think y'all understand how much my stoner ass is jealous

uh? random ass glitch of flying scissors

okay whatever sounds effects are in the background of talking with Finn sound like lis 1 music and im freaked

if we get caught while training I'm murdering someone

new emo daniel

that music is fucking intense

"im not a kid anymore" I'm gonna fucking hit this kid I s2g

pass me the BONG

"how come you can and i can't" YOURE NINE DANIEL GODDAMN WAIT A COUPLE YEARS

I GET TO HIT THE BONG

ok Sean, you had one like mediocre bong hit and like two hits from that joint like you should not be that high. high screen is cool tho

ALSO HE DIDNT CLEAR IT THERE WAS STILL SMOKE

someone pass me more weed

I have taken 3 drinks of this beer and Sean cannot see anyone but the guy he's focusing on

i wanna stay with these guys ffs I don't want to go to mexico

fuckin daniel, hhh i feel bad that I didn't go with him but i wanna have fun :(

edgy boi now

IM ABOUT TO GET IN SO MUCH SHIT FUCK

this song is a bop tf

i feel like they haven't had as much copyrighted music in this season

nice work montage

i wish there was an option to say I'd buy Daniel some food that he wants :/ I get we have to save but fuck :/ trying to win big brother points and game won't let me

thank u Merrill im glad ur not mad at me uwu

DANIEL I SWEAR TO GOD

ARE YOU KIDDING ME

DID HE JUST

don't punch out finn i love him

why is Daniel showing him his powers like i get he threw the thing at big Joe but why this necessary,,,

can we give Daniel a haircut now like im sorry but his fuckin hair

FINN YOU CANNOT USE DANIEL TO BREAK INTO SHIT

they like took 1 drink of that beer and it was done what

you cannot fucking use daniel if they make me i will feel like shit

gimmie tattoo

ok ik I should probably say "wolf" bc of the symbolism throughout the game but like fuckin surprise me Cassidy

what is with this episode and fuckin nudity

i can literally see her nipple under the water wtf u good

I didn't talk to anyone else, just Finn and then fucked Cassidy so ya know

fucking finn are you fucking serious

shut the fuck up stop trying to convince me shit

fuck you I didn't fucking do this

fuck you finn

and you got him fucking shot you fucking proud? hm? fucking dick.

ok so Cassidy is still here, and Finn, and Merrill, and I swear to God, if fucking Daniel left us I will fucking

THERE'S A FUCKING GLASS SHARD IN MY FUCKING EYE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

okay so uh this episode? not my favorite. at all. especially because the choices didn't fucking matter. the "big" choices are supposed to fucking matter but they didn't and that really kinda pisses me off. and idk. i didn't care for this episode but like :/ time to wait till august

#spoilers #life is strange spoilers #lis spoilers #life is strange #life is strange 2 #wastelands #life is strange episode 3 #daniel diaz #sean diaz

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aestheticvoyage2018 · 6 years ago

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Day 256: Thursday September 13, 2018 (Fri in AUS) - “Bush Tucker”

With a flight arriving at 630am, I had a whole good day to explore this city, Sydney - a place that known for a life, but now would come to life for me. Id passed on deep level research and planning aside from an episode of No Reservations - the future was unwritten. After taking a few hours in the airport to catch up on my work for the day, I caught the public transit train downtown, successfully navigating without activating my phone - a trick Im always proud of. By 1030am, I strolled out onto George St in the city center, and found my way to the nights hotel - The Westin - a beautiful old building that I learned was the General Post Office building of Sydney dating back to the 1860s - wiki here. Score. I walked in just hoping theyd watch my bag for a bit while I explored, but they got me a room straightaway, and to my luck it was a 4th floor room looking into the inner atrium. My luck really couldnt have been better. I took a comfort break, a bath in the best tub Ive had in years, then set out to the streets for an afternoon walkabout.

My first stop of the day was to take Pyrmount Bridge across Darling Harbor. It doesnt take long to get a feel for a place while walking the streets and seeing the faces. Its a beautiful day, sunny and 70 in late Spring here in Australia. Moving beyond Darling Harbor, I went looking for the Sydney Fish Market - seafood was on tap for lunch. Sydney’s Fish Market, is the 3rd Largest in the world - curious what was bigger, I was surprised that Tokyo was #1....but #2? Mexico City. What?! Ok. Seattle’s wasnt in the top 10. So this ought to be good. And it was - lots of great places to choose from. I walked the place looking for one that would cook my catch and settled on a place that had a variety box for $15. Add a coke for $4.50. I took it outside along the harbor to enjoy - hadnt considered that there would be a band of bandit birds out there hoping to have some of my catch - I mean afterall, there was plenty in there to go around right? I enjoyed several baby octopus, a filet of Flake, the rest I couldnt exactly name - these great big onion ring shaped treats that mustve been like calamari or squid, these balls that tasted very fishy and reminded me of a snack id had in Korea, fried seaweed. By the time Id gotten down to the fries, and hadnt shared, the birds around me got increasingly annoyed. A big scary looking bird that I later identified as a White Ibis, or what the locals call a bin chicken/trash turkey, had been eyeing me. I decided that if he went for it, Id take a swing - but when the moment came, I chickened out. He got some fries straight out of the box. That was enough for me - tummy full, I hit the road!

Walking back I looked a pub to slip into. Id noticed that most watering holes seemed to be coupled with a hostel/inn on street corners. And all looked to be 100+ years old. I spotted a perfect one across the street - the Pegged Leg. The kind of place that youd have to turn sideways to get in the door. It didnt disappoint. I got two pints for about $20 of the local beer as the bartender shared knowledge on the local gin craft, the people on the money, and the staff entertained with genuine argument over how to manage the hotel via expedia. I guess these gents had just taken over and were ironing out the kinks. I enjoyed the wifi to plan my next move. The beer was good and very cold, but man its expensive here! I guess thats one way to make sure a visiting Yankee wont get drunk in your streets! They seemed to enjoy me as much as I enjoyed them and so I parted with my Aussie money and hit the sidewalk.

Being so far south, and just now coming into Spring, the sun was set to set early and so I hoofed it to my intended spot to look back at Sydney to the West - itd be a good 1.5 mile walk but I had just the right amount of time. Took me righ tback through the heart of the city, past my hotel, and on up past the Art Museum of New South Wales, the Sydney Hospital, and across a big open green space called The Domain. Thanks again to that offline app Maps.me - made my way without activating my phone perfectly - a pocket sized guidebook. I entered into the Royal Botanical Gardens and was happy to find that I could cut through that for free. What a beautiful free park! Unexpected detours. Weaved through the flowering plants, the big trees, the loud birds to come out at Sydney Harbor where the first time I saw that unforgettable landmark that we associate with this place, the Opera House and the equally recognizable landmark, the Sydney Harbor Bridge behind, with the two Australian flags flying brightly above in the pink light of sunset. Id made it just in time - and the line of observers along the waterfront told me I was in the right place. I walked out to the very end and up the stairs to find the perfect spot - the one you always see on NYE. This to me, is the joy of travel - finding the place that you’ve seen before, and then knowing it for yourself in that 360 perspective kind of way..... to know its look, its smells, its people, its place in the world. Its a point called Mrs. Macquarie’s Chair. Found it, just as the light went out of the sky. A rock there had an inscription in it that oddly shaped text read:

Be it thus Recorded that the Road

Round the inside of the Government Domain Called

Mrs. Macquarie's Road

So named by the Governor on account of her having OriginallyPlanned it Measuring 3 Miles, and 377 Yards

Was finally Completed on the 13

Day ofJune 1816

Well thats puts you in place of history. Behind me, the navy shipyard held Australian navy boats including an oddly shaped aircraft carrier. Old looking fleet, with a up-class wharf. I walked that way - dinner time now already. And I had a hot spot from Tony B on my radar.

The gospel according to Bourdain. If Tony says its a must, then I mustn't let my dead friend down. I walked down past the navy shipyard and fancy wharfs and upscale pubs to find a landmark - Harry’s Cafe de Wheels. heres some history on the place. I suppose of Australian Cuisine, the meat pie is considered the quintessential, and Harry’s makes the landmark Meat Pie. Made popular with the navy men, this particular place serves up something called The Tiger - a meat pie with a scoop of mash, a scoop of peas-mash, and a scoop of gravy. I was visiting the Woolloomooloo location and I sheepishly walked up to the counter next to a guy woofing one down while he stood right there where hed ordered it. The walls were covered with photos of famous people whod eaten there - Blue Hill style. I wondered if they would want my picture if I told them I was Joe Rogan. Seconds after asking about a Tiger, one was in front of me. I picked it up with reverence, curious about the bright green pea mash. Never eaten such a thing - this didnt make a whole lot of sense. But I took it around the corner to a stool on the side in front of an old picture of Elton John wolfing one in, showing me the way and explored the wonder. It was actually pretty good - all your side stacked on your meat pie so that you can eat it all at once. Tony was right -that was a must. Put a check on the Aussie Food checklist. Oi Oi. One down.

Walked back to my hotel and finally crashed hard! This time travel thing, and the shifting time zones, I hope I handle it better than when I was in the Philippines. Got a couple days here to adjust and I enjoyed my plan of getting here nice and early to take some time before getting to work. Friday in AUS was in the books and it was a long one but I felt like Id been productive with my time and enjoyed the blessing of being in the land down under.

Song: Men At Work - Down Under

Quote: “The people are immensely likable— cheerful, extrovert, quick-witted, and unfailingly obliging. Their cities are safe and clean and nearly always built on water. They have a society that is prosperous, well ordered, and instinctively egalitarian. The food is excellent. The beer is cold. The sun nearly always shines. There is coffee on every corner. Life doesn't get much better than this.” ― Bill Bryson, In a Sunburned Country

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briteboy · 7 years ago

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yelling @ santi, i’m evil again (what else is new), SOME REALLY REALLY OLD ASKS, one GoT spoiler at the very bottom (beware)

*angrily slaps santi* GET YOUR SELF TOGETHER YAH POOP HEAD

Lou and Fiona deserve happiness pls let it happen ty

they do ;-; it will happen, don’t worry, no one suffers forever <3 i’ve actually been planning out lou’s story and i’m excited to actualize it hehe

I just read all of Santis story. Dear god, it is amazing. I cannot begin to describe how much I love it. I have been really sick lately and have such a hard time concentrating on anything for more than one second but I have not been able to look away from this story, not even when I re-read it for the third time. You are an amazing writer and I have fallen in love with every charachter you have introduced. I teared up so many times and my heart began beating fast, it was really an experience.

OH MY GOD ;___________; YOU READ IT THREE TIMES WHAATDOSOIGODFSKL holy shit thank you so much, i don’t even know what to say right now lmao ;-; i’m just kinda in awe that i was able to grab your attention like that and that you enjoyed it so much and just askjdjfsd THANK YOU i can’t say anything else but just thank you, people like you make this all worth it <3

A case of the novembers is the kinda story you read and you just know its going to stick with you for awhile. Like ones day, you'll be long gone in the future, doing something totally different, older wiser, all that bullshit, and you'll just randomly remember what a bittersweet story it was.

OMFG ;___; holy heck asjdjnfkdkjs this really got me right in the heart lmao. that’s the kind of story it’s always been for me and seeing other people interpret it that way as well is just mind boggling, thank you <3

You are evil. My poor heart hurts. ;______________;

you've ruined my life

Life hack: listen to the entire Hamilton soundtrack whilst working out at the gym. By the end of it, you'll have lost half your body weight due to sweating and crying at the same time (pls help this was such a bad decision)

OMG that’s me with grimes’ art angels lmao i go hord to kill v maim and venus fly

hamilton fans also go hord i respect it. learn more about history get swole killing two birds with one stone

Okay this is so fucking random but a while ago you did a post where you talked about perfect bby gianni saying that he spent a lot of time in introspection and like Thank you 'cause now I have a word to put on this thing I do when I try to figure why I feel certain things or what my relationship with people/random shit is and why and yeah I kind of understand myself a little better now so thx a lot!!! 😘😘😘 Also, you're great.

i think i was actually talking about santi (’cause that’s where we’re at right now, in that period of introspection for him heheh) but YES omg that makes me so happy ;-; it’s a good word lmao and i do the same thing, in fact i’m always trying to figure out my relationships with everything in order to understand myself more. that’s kinda why i’m so into astrology haha. i’m glad you finally got to pin down that feeling for yourself, it’s the best when that happens <3 YOU’RE GREAT TOO 💫

NOOOOOOOO MY FAVS THIS CAN'T... LOU.... SANTI PLS... THIS IS A RIOT 😭😭

let’s start protesting santi in the streets

Hi!! Umm I'm guessing you do but just in case, did you know there was a tear accessory? I think it's an eyeliner (cause you mentioned having to draw them yourself)

yeah i do! i mentioned the ones by s-club, i’ve used those a couple times. but i like drawing them myself because i feel like it’s weird to have the same single teardrop every time one of my characters cries (and we all know they’ve been crying a lot lately lmfao) if they didn’t cry often i probably wouldn’t feel compelled to draw the tears. but i don’t mind drawing them honestly, it’s kinda fun lmao. thanks for your consideration <3

so im sitting here thinkin....... what if santi goes on this trip and coms back and lou is in a relationship!?!?!

👏santi👏get👏it👏together👏

HE’S TRYIN

i want to die

AAAH SOLE DEVELOPMENT BETWEEN CUTE DEVIL CHILD AND I ALMOST DIED TWICE TATOO MAN YES

I HAD TO READ THIS LIKE THREE TIMES TO UNDERSTAND IT LMFAOSDOJDKF BUT YES their relationship kills me the most ;__;

wait santi tried to kys :'(

WHERE U BEEN he did :{

what font do u use in your histories?

arial!

hi u have a really pretty blog and I hope you have a good day

THIS IS SO SWEET I DON’T DESERVE IT ;-; I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY TOO HONEYBEE 🌻

nyooooooom

I WENT M.I.A FOR A LITTLE AND I COME BACK TO READ UP ON THE STORY AND HOW DARE YOU ASHDDJFKL

@teishajenaie on instagram looks like Rooney to me, idk if you'd agree but ??

i see it!! definitely in the eyes and nose. also sorry i answered this literally like 3 months later lmao

gooey by glass animals gives me santi vibes :) ive been listening to it on repeat (bc im tht bitch) and it was making me think of you and his story! c: i hope you dont mind me over here lmao anyway, im excited to see where it goes and real excited for a back story for lou!! <3 lots of love

omg haha that’s actually funny because i used it in that one scene of him tripping, although it’s like completely a gianni song to me (at least personality-wise, it’s even on his playlist on my character page) and noooo i don’t mind, i love that song and i love when people recommend me songs!! i have a whole bunch of recommendations in my inbox that i need to acknowledge omg. anyway I’M EXCITED THAT YOU’RE EXCITED, especially for lou’s story, it’s coming up reeeeeal soon <333

i feel so late to the party but i Just started reading your story like five minutes ago and im absolutely entranced by it already and i cant wait to catch up and finally understand what to heck is going on

this was sent literally forever ago when santi and molly were out there being wild in the desert lmao so i hope you caught up and everything. “entranced” omg that’s such a wonderful word i’m honored

i didnt think i could love you more but the fact that you watch arrested development makes me so happy. i cry. my boyfriend has a mr manager, bluths frozen bananas shirt thats literally my favorite thing ever.

OMGGG YES i watched it once forever ago and i need to re-watch it asap lmao. I’M PRETTY SURE I BOUGHT THAT SAME EXACT SHIRT FOR MY BROTHER FOR CHRISTMAS ONE YEAR

Just a biiig prank. Huge

this one is from so long ago i don’t remember the context but i laughed at loud when i read it. huge

i was playing with uncharted for the first time today and they said Navarro in it and i was like THATS MY BOI SANTIII

santi infiltrating everyone’s lives my bf played uncharted tho!! it looked cool. like indiana jones. i liked the marketplace part. a monkey stole his apple

Hi sunny! I really am in love with your story (even if it's tearing me apart at the moment) and just wanted to say you're cool Stay strong ma dude

HI THANK YOU <333 you’re also cool my dude and i’m sorry for tearing you apart (if it makes you feel any better this story tears me apart on a daily basis)

what packs and expansions do u have for ur game?

ummmmmm all of them except vintage glamour and fitness stuff. i wish i didn’t buy some of the stuff packs lmao but what can ya do i actually didn’t even get vampires or bowling or parenthood until like a month ago lmao i’m late to the party

Oh shit she's been dead hasn't she. Like this is all a drug or alcohol infused bender of mollys memory, she's probably never left. They're probably still at the hospital. I hope I fucking wrong but shit I also hope not. Poor santi

we’re so far past this but i just wanted to publish this anyway lmao it was a good theory! and this person was so sure of it it kinda made me wish it was true lol. sorry if that disappointed you but i’ll always remember this one in my sad sad heart 💔

how long did it take for you to make friends here? I started a simblr because I really like storytelling with my sims & I thought it'd be fun to meet people who enjoy that, too, especially since I don't have many friends irl...but I've been here for quite a few months now and it seems like no one even cares that I'm here....everyone I try to interact with pretty much ignores me after a message or two....I'm just feeling really discouraged about my presence here :/

I’M REALLY SORRY I DIDN’T ANSWER THIS SOONER ASKJDKJFSDKA (i’m sure it didn’t help the fact that you feel ignored, i really really hope you see this) but okay uhhhhhhh i only had acquaintances from 2015 up until like this year? then i started really becoming close with people. so it took a while lol, but i think everyone starts off slow because it’s mostly about the actual game we’re playing at first and then making friends just happens through that. don’t get discouraged, like i said it took a while for me. you really just need to reach out to the people you’d like to become friends with, reply to their posts, give your genuine thoughts, say something that’ll make their day...people notice that no matter what they have going on, i promise. i hope you’re still here and hanging in there. don’t get caught up in who’s talking to you or not talking to you, just do your thing, enjoy what you do, and people will notice you. <3

3. Hi so I just wanted to say that I love your story, I'm here for every update. I'm an s3 player I play s4 every once in awhile but s3 has my soul. I love Santi and I know he will be happy in the end, whether it's with Lou or not(hopefully it is tho) I only want him to be happy. I go through so many emotions in one post, like this is a tv drama and I can’t wait for the next episode. This is the end of my cut and paste. Have a nice day.❤️

HI HELLO <3 this is so sweet and i can’t believe you actually care about my story lmao thank you i’m glad you have faith in his happy ending, i don’t want anyone to think i genuinely like making my characters suffer lmao. i only do it to make the happy ending more satisfying. asjdfjksd comparing my stuff to film or tv always makes me so giddy so THANK YOU ily <333

"Suicide before you see this tear fall down my eyes" (Beyonce) reminds me of Molly's situation soooo muchhhh aaaahhhhh

OMG YES what a good connection. good song good connection yaeeahhh better call molly with the good hair

Ummmm... hello! I just read through your whole story with Santi and I'm like... holy fuck. Not only is your story wonderful, your editing is so good. I'm surprised I didn't shove my eyes up against my computer screen. Please continue making wonderful things and being great. Signing off 12:31 in the morning, I hope you have as much fun as you want to

“as much fun as you want to” omfgasdkngjd why did that make me laugh so much. don’t have too much fun, have the responsible amount of fun anyway HELLO thank you soooooO much ;-; pls don’t shove ur eyes up against the screen i’m almost positive that’s not good for them. but i appreciate this so much thank YOU for being great <3 signing off at 2:18 in the morning after ignoring this message for months now (i’m sorryyyyyyy) but um ily

HELLO??? I JUST READ A SERIOUS CASE OF NOVEMBER FOR THE FIRST TIME AND I'M LIKE CRYING???? y u do dis to me I hate you and love you at the same time

(I need to rant I'm sorry) My uncle is really positive towards the army and war and stuff like that and all day he's been going on about how it should be mandatory to serve in the military, especially for "little brat girls" like me? And it's stressing me out so much I want to cry :( The army and war is something that genuinely scares me and I don't want anything to do with it, but he's just going on and on! What should I do?

this is literally sooooooooo late and i feel so bad i’m sorry, i hope this still helps you out and i hope you see it tho okay. i’m pretty sure this was even before the trans military ban like whew idek what your uncle must think about that. tbh just ignore him, like i know it’s hurtful but like...what is his point in telling you this? i would’ve literally been like (sarcastically) “ok then sign me up” but i’m also a lil shit so that’s probably not the best thing to say. but really like the only thing he’s trying to do is feel powerful by means of expressing his militaristic (no pun intended) opinions to someone far younger than him. it’s so that he feels bigger and better than you (especially by calling you a brat). he’s a sad man and anyone who relies on the military, of all things, to shape a person probably doesn’t have a strong sense of self anyway. i love you okay, just ignore him, don’t let him stress you out <3

I'm a little high and it's late but I have a lot of courage now so I've been following you for a while and I just want to tell you how much I love your story! I have come across other places on tumblr who do this but none have captured me as this one did! You are amazing and I am in love with this story! Thanks fo being you! :)

ONMG YOU HAD TO BE HIGH TO SEND THIS LMAO that was me this weekend anyway thank you so much, it floors me every time anyone says these kinds of things to me and it never gets old ;-; you are so amazing ok <333

you can't possibly be offended by a homophobic joke in game of thrones, it's set in medieval times. they had several lgbt characters in it, it's not the show that's homophobic, it's the characters, which is accurate for that time period.

o i can and i will lmao i mean i get where you’re coming from but with that logic you could say it’s only accurate to put homophobic jokes in today’s media just because people are still homophobic in the time live in. i know it’s the characters, but you do understand that someone writes those characters, right? it’s bad writing. it’s lazy and pandering and because of that it’s offensive. idk if you know the exact dialogue i was referring to but it was so completely unnecessary lmfao. they could’ve made a million other jokes. regardless of how it offended me it was just BAD lmao

SPOILER BELOW OK DON’T SAY I DIDN’T WARN YA

@ I wanna watch GoT anon: don't. It's just so fucking bad. The definition of overhyped tbh (and btw, sunny, PLS HELP HE SCREWED HIS FUCKING AUNT WTH)

LMAO SOMEONE ACTUALLY AGREES WITH ME? wow bless u. it is definitely overhyped, like it was good at first but it’s been riding that hype through these past couple of seasons to disguise the bad writing. i understand being entertained by it, but i’m always surprised when people think it’s actually well written at this point...it’s so cringey and now thanks to the season finale this fanbase will be justifying incest. great!

OK MOVE ALONG NOW

#AND I'LL BE ANSWERING THE CHARACTER ASKS TOMORROW (well today but whatev)#anonymous #nonsims #saviorhide #sunny answers

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lucysmuse · 5 years ago

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november 8, 2019

ive been home all week boarded up with bronchitis. needless to say its resulted in one big fat greek meltdown full of theatrics so many tears and a lot of despair about what im doing with my life. i think i might end it after all this, im not sure. decisions are hard to make what can i say.

im an art major and i have a huge issue with motivation, deadlines, a lack of guidance, and im an art major. what the fuhk am i even doing.

i havent made a single piece of art in weeks. its like when i was starting lithium. im terrified.

also forgot about eating today, unless a handful of peanut m&ms counts. ive been eating so awful lately; id feel bad for whoever would have to clean my body if i hung myself haha the hell that would put them through to deal with it

i finally got back to watching better call saul, caught up to where i left off, and continued on to what is now the latter half of season 2. i plan to finish and then jump right into the start of breaking bad again. i miss my old favorite show.

i wish i had friends who really cared about cinematography and aesthetics because i have been wanting to just drivel on about how breaking bad and its spinoffs are the perfect ode to modern americana; the sheer amount of domestic, tame, almost siesta-hazy shots of just. life in desert america. fuels me with the want to draw so many cowboys in opulent garb in various states of undress (hubba hubba). now that i got that straight white woman out of my system, Anyways.

my favorite part about the shows arent just that theyre interesting or edgy on the inside drama on the oustide, or the insane amount of ingenuity the show writers have (half the $hit they think up im astounded by and the other half my jaw is just on the floor start to finish), the long shots are what really gets me. theyre pausing, like taking a breath amongst all of the high wire, almost bleak scenes and plot regarding crime and how morally grey we all as people are. i also appreciate the humanity of each character -- theres some good parts in all, and bad parts in all that get more than a few lines. and even then -- hey, look at ernesto -- there is nuance. the show is so empty of fake characters. not a single one of them couldnt exist in real life for any reason. never do i question whether one character would or would not do something, because even if i were to have doubts gilligan & co back it up with so much context and reason that everything checks out before its even done.

better call saul centers on one of my favorite characters from the original series and gives him a backstory. his character is absolute tacky insanity and you want to know during the entirety of the original series what could possibly go on after walt leaves that office. and better call saul not only does that but drags you along for a much more adrenaline filled explanation than you could have possibly asked for.

but the still shots. god i love the still shots. like come on the theme to better call saul alone, with the overexposed fried images of oldsmobiles and phone books with gaudy ads and a statue of liberty inflatable. that alone is enough to wrap southwest americana of the past couple decades up in a tightly knotted bow. but then they go on, and let the freak flag fly in just about every episodes script. like come on they even bring up hummels. the scene they led into by wheeling the camera in on the seniors’ jello cart, thats genius. and complete with a tacky law ad at the bottom of the cup. the show from start to finish bleeds tack. and i love it. over the last couple months maybe a year or so i had kinda lost my grip on the cowboy blood i have, by which i mean this: if i were to be alive during the quote unquote wild west times i wouldve zipped out to the country to make a living on a ranch where id soon find a husband to spend my life with, there would be no discussion. to be out isolated with all that desert and not a single person to call you faggot or tranny or d*ke but yourself. thats the only thing i could possibly ask for. i could be me, and my husband would lovingly sew my nipples back on after i go insane and cut my tits off one night instead of bringing the horses in. a chestplate of scar tissue is miles more appealing than an a cup if you ask me. to go back to what i was saying, the cowboy blood in me is simply that--blood that fizzles and swims through my body and heats up at the idea of being in the desert and being myself, calling myself the man that i am with a man who loves me. (and some cool boots too)

i dont know what this post was. its not coherent, i forget to follow through on a thought a few times throughout, and i still dont know what i want to do with my life. what i do know is that before writing this i was debating slitting my wrists and now those thoughts have settled. i also have french homework to finish and a little over a season left of better call saul on netflix so i think with that i bid this post a passive adieu. think of the next entry as picking up where i left off.

song: me & the boys (& a bottle) by tokyo lucky hole

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4giorno · 3 years ago

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i have some thoughts (that i didnt already rb) now that ive caught up with the show. im gonna write them as a list bc theres a bunch of different ones and its overwhelming in the uncomfortable way lol. the thoughts are under the cut bc this got way too long

if they dont go with budd1e in the end, we’re running into this same old problem; no new relationship can compete with the emotional depth that they have. considering everything that has happened between them for 3 seasons (i do NOT have the energy to list every meaningful thing lol) and now even eddie trusting buck to raise his son if hes gone, their bond will always overshadow everything else. this is why also everything romantic that happened between buck and taylor in this episode felt very strange and superficial bc during all of this episode buck has been yelling and crying for eddie, saving his life, running around desperately and in shock bc of eddie, wishing he wouldve taken the bullet for eddie, ignoring the sniper threatening his life bc of his concern for eddie and the awfulness of his absence, dropping everything (including taylor) to be with eddie and christopher, and finally being trusted to raise chris if eddie is gone. also the parallel of the other person that got shot being bobby and how he was saved by his partner, who is his WIFE. buck and eddie will always choose each other over everyone else that isnt chris.

even if they by some miracle do go with budd1e, im still so disappointed that they did this romantic plot with buck and taylor. and the reason is that i loved their friendship. their scenes were some of my favorites, their banter was very enjoyable to watch. theyre in some ways similar people and could easily have a great friendship that included a lot of the healthy competition that they both want, even if it couldnt reach the level of emotional depth that buck has with the other ppl on the fire squad (for example bc of the massive trust issues buck was shown to still have for taylor in this episode). but now shes being put into competition with eddie and is losing badly, which i think is so unfortunate for her bc she could be a great character and a fan favorite in other ways.

one more thing abt taylor that im mad the writers did with her. shes making her moves when buck is very obviously in a bad, fucked up state (bc of the eddie related things i listed in point 1)........... like yeah buck is receptive but still the timing is awful and kind of creepy. she literally saw him when he was running around frantically making thoughtless plans and choices and, held his hands that were shaking so much he couldve dropped his phone. she shouldve known better, especially if they want us to believe that bucks assumption that she was gonna run a story abt his situation was wrong and she isnt that kind of bad person anymore. this is especially bad bc buck has been emotionally taken advantage of in the past once already (the time his therapist slept with him)

okay moving on to eddies side of things a bit. i do honestly think eddies relationship with ana was officially doomed to fail at the “just make sure youre following your heart, not christophers” scene (altho there are other things like the lack of trust, plot, screentime and emotional depth in comparison to other characters and yes, obviously especially to buck), but if they were to make them a permanent couple, this plot with making buck the next legal guardian is an extremely weird thing to include in the story and could become problematic to solve. lets assume they stay together for years and then eddie dies. the two options are buck does get christopher and ana, eddies partner who presumably has lived with chris for years, is out of the picture, or eddies will is broken/changed which would make this powerful moment in 4x14 a lot less meaningful. so......???? what do (and honestly this line of thinking would still be relevant with any other partner he may have in the future that isnt buck while chris is a kid)

okay lastly fandom related stuff. first i hope when theyre complaining ppl arent holding some idiots who attack oliver, who is an actor and cant affect the story, for baiting as the same idea as people being critical of the storys narrative failings......... and i hope they dont think you shouldnt criticize the failings bc some ppl are idiots........

okay i hope i wrote this in a way that accurately describes my thoughts. and i hope its clear that i dont want to bash taylor and ana, but im trying to genuinely analyze the narrative and consider past associations to see what the characters need. also im writing this when only s4 is out so truly i cant express my final opinion on these issues yet bc i dont know how the show will continue and turn out in the end.

#if you actually read the whole thing. IM SORRY :( but also thank you!#im always insecure abt my thoughts and analyses so its always #very scary to publish real attempts at analysis like this #even tho this isnt any kind of deep dive its still scary lol #this is overwhelmingly negative but things you dont like are easier to pick apart than #those you do like #there are many things i did love abt the episode and the series obviously LOL #more than those that i didnt like by a landslide! but like i said harder to pinpoint everything

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theboardwalkbody · 8 years ago

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59 QUESTIONS:

Flounder told me to do 59 of those questions. I started this last night and needed to take a break. I tried to answer completely and honestly and it may have really soured my mood. By question like 20 or so it’s basically pictures of Joe Gilgun every other question. lol I felt it was easier to post photos than answer with words since I wasn’t too happy. But I’m sure if you delve into this you’ll really see where the depression and self-loathing caught hold of me again.

1. selfie

post-shower selfie. also, shout-out to Joe.

2. what would you name your future kids?

Boys: Thomas Richard (or if I had two boys Thomas and Richard). Thomas is a name that’s p much been in every gen of my family except for mine because everyone had girls and not boys. So I’d bring that back. Richard was my grandpa’s name so I’d also bring that back.

Girls: Natalie, Elizabeth, possibly Ellie, maybe Megan.

3. do you miss anyone?

Of course. One’s a they’re-not-here-anymore thing and the others more of a we’re-growing-apart-as-people thing.

4. what are you looking forward to?

You know, I really am looking forward to starting this new job. Not just for the money it’ll provide me with and the possibilities of me being able to do fun things like go to the friggin’ aquarium (most of this sort of thing I am already making plans to do lol oops) and see the solar eclipse but also because it feels like I’m finally DOING something. It feels like I’m finally taking this nursing-track seriously. I’ve got myself in a hospital doing career-related work. It’ll have benefits which I need to stay healthy. It’ll support me. It almost feels like Day One of this job is where my TV show starts. Day One is my Pilot episode. It’s gonna be JD walking into Sacred Heart, it’s gonna be the TARDIS landing in my yard and the Doctor saying, “run”, it’s gonna be Spongebob getting his fry cook spatula. In my mind I keep comparing it to Scrubs a lot. Like this is where we see me go from PCA to Nurse and this is where I will finally make Work Friends and maybe grab dinner with them after a long shift and maybe one day a cute employee will see me in the cafeteria and we’ll start dating. I just feel like maybe this job will be that life changing. That this is where my story starts - the story people want to see - and that’ll change my life. Or kickstart it. I know that that all sounds horribly idealistic and is not at all reality, it’s just not how life works, but that’s how excited and hopeful it’s making me.

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?

Lately Joe Gilgun’s been handling that. lol (and by lately i mean for like a year now). But as far as people IRL... not sure. Everyone has their days. One day this person will make me smile another day this one will. Everyone has bad days where they just rub each other the wrong way - it happens. But I feel like the people who are close to me make me smile pretty well for the most part.

6. is it hard for you to get over someone?

Not really. I’ve only ever had one boyfriend and it took me two weeks top to get over him. Then again, I wasn’t even that big into him anyway. I’ve had a couple friendships melt away and those took longer to get over. Not sure I’m entirely over them. I think it just depends on the strength of the relationship and probably also the type. I really don’t peg myself as one who would find it hard to get over failed romantic en-devours, based on that past experience.

7. what was your life like last year?

Strap in: Last year was a fucking hot mess. I mean personally as well as whatever the fuck the universe was doing. I started off last year entering Nursing III. I was excited because OB/PEDI was the rotation. I had JUST managed to pass Nursing II the week before Christmas and I truly felt like the luckiest person alive. I went into Nursing III with the impression it wouldn’t be harder than Nursing II BUT I wanted to do well anyway because OB/PEDI is where I want to be. The rotation was hectic and I was feeling the pressure and I ended up struggling. I failed the class by 2 points. Somewhere in the midst of all that I got into Preacher and so I took to drowning my sorrow by thinking of Joe (watching interviews and stuff). And man was I full of sorrow. The entire rest of May and the entirety of June I fell into such a fucking state of depression I was starting to forget literally everything. I lost an entire week of memory to depression during that period. Despite that I got a job as I’d run out of money and I started passing the time doing that. Until I got over the initial “if i mess up im fired” anxiety and got comfortable, at which point I called out frequently because my depression was like “fuck you you’re staying in bed - MENTAL HEALTH DAY LOLOLOL”. I was accepted as a re-entry student and got to try a second attempt at Nursing III. My job told me to go fuck myself (they wanted me to work friday - sunday plus one day during the week minimum - my class schedule was monday, thursday, friday and sorry i wanted a day to rest and a day to study - plus. that friday was non-negotiable. gotta love retail) and fired me. But whatever. Back to school, my priority, I went. I bought physical copies of my books to accompany the online versions. I went to the library to study. I actually studied. I excelled at clinical and I did well on all my exams except one. And then the final came up. And all I needed was a 75 to pass. My average was a 77 for christ sake. But nope. Bombed. 0.7 point failure. I got my grade three days before christmas. I tried to kill myself in front of my mom and my sister (in front of the christmas tree) with my grandma and my sisters boyfriend one room over in the kitchen. I cried for hours in my little sisters arms. I’d ruined christmas. My life was over. 0.7 points and ‘sorry, you failed out of nursing school - the last 4 years of your life was pointless’. I tried to appeal. I tried EVERYTHING. The dean of nursing told me I had no case for an appeal (my failure was my own), my only option was to re-enter the program and start from scratch. I asked her, as calmly and composed as I could muster being on the verge of tears, what steps I needed to take to re-enter. She told me, “do you really want to continue to waste your time and money at an institution you’ve already failed?”. I wanted to fucking kill her. I wanted to slit my own throat right in front of her and bleed out over her desk. I cried instead. I was so pissed at myself. Why couldn’t I be a Normal Adult and not cry until I got outside the fucking building at least? I spent the last two weeks of the year with my head so bruised it hurt to touch it or lay down on a pillow even, trying to forget literally everything, how I literally ruined my own life because I wasn’t smart enough, by sleeping as much as I could and spending the hours I was awake thinking about Joe because at least thinking of him made me a little happier.

8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?

Yes. I cry with literally almost every emotion.

9. who did you last see in person?

My grandma.

10. are you good at hiding your feelings?

I tend to be. The only time I am not is if I am so overwhelmed I don’t have the energy. Or if I am so upset I’m literally having a breakdown. Then I’m not.

11. are you listening to music right now?

No.

12. what is something you want right now?

I kinda just want to go to bed. This whole thing has gotten too personal and I’m like half on the verge of tears and half so angry at myself I could scream.

13. how do you feel right now?

See above. I was alright before that, though. Believe me I was.

14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?

I don’t fucking know. Men are disgusted by my appearance and usually do not appear within a 30 mile radius let alone touch me.

15. personality description

i have to be honest with you. this whole thing has made me very upset and angry with myself so i really dont think im in the right place mentally to answer this question.

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?

Yes, and I feel bad about it to this day because they’re not around anymore.

17. opinion on insecurities.

I’ve got a lot of them. Also, Insecurity by Scars on 45 is a really good song, if that’s what you were asking.

18. do you miss how things were a year ago?

Read the above question about what my year was like and ask me that again.

19. have you ever been to New York?

I have been fortunate to go to NYC quite a few times. Benefits of having a friend who lives there. However, the amazement of it has certainly worn off. It’s a little frustrating to see how some people become so elitist about it. Yes, it’s a cool place, but listen, just because it’s a cool place doesn’t mean every other place is shit. It’s kind of annoying to watch your friend go on and on about how they’re a “native” and therefore “non-natives” don’t understand how awesome their city is while at the same time actively hating all the parts that make people like the city in the first place. It’s hard to explain. But I’m over that elitist attitude.

20. what is your favourite song at the moment?

I still can’t stop listening to Hamilton. I guess my current fav song off that is Washington On Your Side.

21. age and birthday?

25. Aug. 24th.

22. description of crush.

(I’ve not got any crushes that pertain to my actual real life so there’s Joe again).

23. fear(s)

i have quite a number of those and lately ive been having like ‘flashes’ of scary situations while i’m out and about and have been mini panic attacks in public. so that’s not going well.

24. height

4′11.5″ is what the medical charts say. I think I can be an honorary 5ft.

25. role model (answered already)

26. idol(s)

see # 25

27. things i hate (answered already)

28. i’ll love you if…

you show me any shred of kindness and human respect.

29. favourite film(s)

Twister. Runners up: Forrest Gump, DragonHeart, The Lion King, Beauty and the Beast, and Holes.

30. favourite tv show(s)

Preacher, The Pacific, Generation Kill, Boardwalk Empire, The 100 (tho it’s an on-off love), Once Upon A Time (also on-off), Mr. Robot, HOUSE, M.D. CSI: NY, Viva La Bam, Jackass, and I used to really like Doctor Who and Torchwood. Misfits, Skins (UK, of course). 8 out of 10 Cats. I’ve got an on-off thing with 8 out of 10 Cats Does Countdown. Big Fat Quiz....

31. 3 random facts (answered already)

32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?

girls. remember #14

33. something you want to learn

Enough to get my friggin license and get out of school that’s for sure.

34. most embarrassing moment

i have a lot of them. one time i tried to talk to a guy i had a crush on. i talked to him the same way i wrote fanfiction at the time. (girl finds unloved outcast, girl asks him if he wants to be friends, ultimately they become inseparable and fall in love and live happily ever after). he was weirded out. i persisted for a few days. i IMed him after stalking his myspace. he called me a slut and told me to never talk to him after complimenting his haircut (which i couldnt have known unless i saw him IRL as he posted no photos and i still hadnt told him who i was). it made the rest of the year awkward. i was 14. don’t do that, kids.

35. favourite subject

i like sciencey stuff in general. but if i want easy a’s i got for english.

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?

1. become the best damn nurse in the ‘verse and help ~all the babies and kids 2. have a large happy family 3. be financially stable and healthy enough to take said large happy family on vacations and such

37. favourite actor/actress

38. favourite comedian(s)

(there’s more but they’re the only ones I have gifs of)

39. favourite sport(s)

I quite like tennis, actually.

40. favourite memory

Eh, I don’t really know - to be honest. IDK if it’s because I don’t have one or because depression makes me think I don’t have one or if it’s because I often look back at past times that were fun and wish ‘why can’t I go back, I miss it’ rather than ‘That was great, what a good time’ like I assume most people are supposed to.

41. relationship status

single as fuck. yes, i am bitter about it. and very lonely.

42. favourite book(s)

Living Hell - Catherine Jinks the Across the Universe series by Beth Revis Rapture - John Shirley (prequel to BioShock) The Stand - Stephen King 11/22/63 - Stephen King Under the Dome - Stephen King The Islander - Cynthia Rylant

43. favourite song ever

Everything You Want by Vertical Horizon. I like the way it sounds. It calms me down.

44. age you get mistaken for

i have no idea, but i do know no one bothers to ID me for alcohol anymore.

45. how you found out about your idol

I’m going to bang my head against a wall.

46. what my last text message says

my mom: “we’ll go next week then” me: “OK”

47. turn ons

48. turn offs

not being treated with mutual respect (ie a dude expecting he’s entitled to things or who thinks he should get more than he gives out). one of those guys who considers relationships to be the “ball-and-chain” trope. like don’t bother then.

49. where i want to be right now

with Joe. I am over this questionaire. D:

50. favourite picture of your idol

STOP ASKING ME ABOUT MY IDOL. HERE’S A GIF OF JOE AS CASSIDY.

51. starsign

virgo

52. something i’m talented at

i have no talent.

53. 5 things that make me happy

and also good food.

54. something thats worrying me at the moment

my financial situation (are we a nation of states? whats the state of our nation?! i’m passed patiently waiting, i’m passionately smashing every expectation. every actions an act of creation. i’m laughing in the face of casualty and sorrow, for the first time im thinking past tomorrow - and i am not throwing away my shot!) also literally everything because Anxiety™.

55. tumblr friends

Marisa and Heather and Flounder, you don’t count because I knew you since The Womb (Middle School is the womb apparently) and Kenny if we’re going by people I talk to frequently and also got on FB and the like. But if you wanna be friends just drop me a line.

56. favourite food(s)

Chicken fingers with fries (and honey mustard and ketchup) is my go-to meal whenever I am out. I also like pizza from my fav. pizzeria (I mean or any but mine’s the best). Mozzarella sticks, penne vodka, ham and cheese subs/ham, salami, cappicolla, provolone subs (italian subs). French toast (homemade tho), waffles (eggo only), pancakes, grilled cheese, cream of broccoli soup but NOT cheddar broccoli, baked ziti (with ricotta or you did it wrong), mac and cheese, Guinness steak and mushroom pies, toasted pb&j sammiches, fluffenutter sammiches, english muffin pizzas are good in a pinch, chicken goo, cheeseburgers (only from mcdonalds tho so...) and once a year i have a hotdog. OH no - I love auntie annes pretzel dogs and i get those often so disregard my previous statement.

57. favourite animal(s)

turtle, axolotl, sharkies are cool, puppies (but not the scary ones that barked at me on my walk) and kittens and i really like reptiles.

58. description of my best friend

(photos apparently swimsuit edition and look at those fucking hideous life jackets that we had to wear per contract until out of sight from camp personell. DIDN’T STOP ME FROM SPLITTING MY FOOT OPEN AND NEEDING STITCHES NOW DID IT). Also Flounder’s swimsuit was cooler than mine. And yes I am short.

59. why i joined tumblr

Kiera had a tumblr and I wanted to be cool, too, so I made one and forced her to follow me and I followed her and she doesn’t use this site anymore because she decided red.dit and ifu.nny were better uses of her time but i cant escape, i dont want to.

#about me #flounder.... why

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