#ive been waking up at night then going immediately back to sleep lately so. hm.

[fallowfield]

dont remember searching this but. i remember hearing it and bunted skalamarang in a dream???

[marvel--3000]

Mirage (5/???)

Summary: When 2 weird men show up at your job asking questions about you, you run, right into Hydras arms, you have no idea what they did to you in there, the Avengers help you figure it out.

*AU right after civil war, Steve, Bucky, and Tony are friends, and Pietro is still alive.*

A/N: this is my first thing I’ve ever written, soooo, some feedback would be appreciated, Hi I’ve been gone a couple years, and now I’m back, sorry….

I started writing this a long time ago, so the first chapters suck…. sorry

Pairing: Avengers x mutant!Reader

Warnings: some language, torture

Italics indicate that she is thinking to herself

~~~~~~~~~~

You dream of your life in the hydra base, everything is tinted red. You see flashes of faces, good and bad. You see yourself training with another mutant, you knock him to the ground and put him in a headlock. The scene changes, you see yourself strapped to a table, with the Trench Coat British guy smiling over you as you scream. It changes again, you see yourself crying in a ball, in the corner of your cell, trying to keep warm. It changes again, you see the goons kicking you on the floor, after your first escape attempt.

All of these memories scream through your head, until suddenly they come to a stop on one image. The man with the metal arm being shot in the back, because you can't reach him in time. You run to him as he falls. You catch him before he hits the ground, and lower him the rest of the way to the ground. You roll him over to look at his face, but when you roll him over, instead of his face being there, its Mr. British. You scream and try to push him off you, but he grabs you and pulls out a gun, he shoots you in the chest and laughs. You fall backwards, but instead of hitting the floor, you fall through it, into complete darkness. It feels like you fall forever.

You wake up screaming, clutching at the blankets. Your eyes dart around the room, trying to figure out where you are. You see medical equipment, and hear a heart rate monitor beeping next to you. You remember, you're in the Avengers Compound, they saved you from Hydra. You relax into the bed and breath.

<i>What time is it?</i> You think, you look around again, now that you've calmed down. You see a huge window at the end of the room. Outside the window are trees, and a black sky, full of stars.<i> So it's still night, how long was I asleep for?</i> You sit up so you can see out the window better. You see a lake, and some lights below you. <i>So I’m not on the ground floor, it's pretty here, quiet.</i> You look away from the window and down at yourself, and notice that you aren't Natasha anymore, instead you’re a man, with hairy arms.

You gingerly try to spin your legs to the left, to dangle off the bed. It takes some effort, and a lot of pain, but you manage to sit on the edge of the bed. You start to slip off, so your feet touch the floor, then put a little pressure on them. Causing you to whimper in pain, but you push through it, as you've always done. You finally manage to stand on your own two legs, you look down to notice that your legs are hairy too, under the hospital gown. You also notice that there is a IV coming out of your hand, with a tube leading to a saline drip hooked on a metal rod on wheels.

You hold onto the rod for support, and take a step towards the window. But the heart rate monitor hooked to your finder stops you, you quickly pull it off, causing the monitor to have one long beeeeep, then power off. <i>That will probably bite me in the ass later, but I need to see out the window.</i> You slowly make your way to the window, each step a struggle. But you make it to the window, when you look out, you notice the trucks driving below you.

You look up and see the stars, they are beautiful tonight. Your eyes feel odd, so you close them, and rub them with the back of your hand, and when you open them again to look at the stars, suddenly you can see so many many more, you can see the sky as if we didn't have any pollution, or even an atmosphere. You can see the milky way, the whole galaxy. It's the most beautiful thing you have ever seen. Your eyes well up with tears, causing the stars to merge together, and yet, it's no less beautiful. You’re so busy looking up, you don't even notice that somebody else has entered the room.

“It's beautiful here isn't it?” Says a voice behind you. You squeak and whirl around, causing you to almost fall, and be in excruciating pain. The person rushes towards you trying to help, you look with anger in your eyes, ready to fight. But what you find is a concerned Dr. Banner, giving you the most confusing face. Your eyes soften, seeing that there is no immediate threat. You gain your balance, and stand on your own, shrugging off his hands, which you hadn't noticed before.

“It's not nice to scare people when they are zoned out.” You say in a fake scolding voice. But he just keeps looking at you with a weird face. “What's wrong Dr. Banner?”

“Hm? Oh, I'm just not used to walking into a room to find that I'm already in it.” He says with a little smile.

“What?” <i>Is he a little crazy?</i>

“Oh you don't know, you're not Nat anymore, now you're me. It's a little jarring. You can call me Bruce by the way.” He says looking you up and down.

“Oh! Sorry, when I dream I shift, and I must have shifted into you. Sorry.” you say then look at the floor in embarrassment.

“Nothing to be sorry about, but how do you look exactly like me, you even have my birthmark on your knee.” he says with a puzzled look.

“Oh, when I see someone, I can copy their face, their size, and any other characteristic I can see. But in your case, when I touch someone, or they touch me, I can become a perfect duplicate of them, I think it has to do with DNA or something.”

“Oh. But I didn't touch you?” he said with a puzzled expression.

“When you put the needle in my arm you did. I can shift into someone else if you want?” you say shyly, talking about your powers is always weird.

“It's fine, as long as you're comfortable.” he quickly reassures you.

“Cool.” you think for a moment before asking, “What are you doing in here so late?”

“Oh that, um, I told Friday to alert me if you woke up, so you wouldn't be scared. On that note, you really should lay back down.” he says in a quiet tone.

“You did that for me?”  Confused as to why he would want to do this for a stranger. You start making your way back to your bed, leaning on the pole.

“Well yeah, you are my patient.” he says walking next to you. Suddenly your left leg decides it's time for a nap, and you start falling with a yelp. Bruce catches you with surprising strength. <i>How did he catch me so quick?</i> He helps you back to your bed, and you lay back down.

“Thank you, I don't know what happened, my leg just quit working.”

“No harm done. Are you alright, any pain?” he asks sitting at the end of your bed.

“I mean the bullet wound in my chest hurts, but the weird part is, it should hurt more. How long has it been since I got shot?” you ask, looking him in the eyes. <i>His eyes are a very nice deep brown, with some bright green near the iris. Odd.</i>

“It's been 3 days, but your wounds are healing at an accelerated rate, it looks like you got shot 3 weeks ago. Is that part of your powers?” he asks leaning towards you

“No last time I checked!” you say starting to worry about what Hydra did to you there.

“Ok, we’ll figure out why, but right now, you should sleep. Steve and Tony are going to ask you questions in the morning,” he looks down at his watch, then back up to you, “if you sleep now, you should get about another 6 hours before they come back.” he says in a reassuring tone. <i>I can see why he's a doctor, he's so kind.</i>

“I don't know if I can go back to sleep, I didn't have the best dreams before.” you say looking down at your hands, they are large, and strong.

“I can give you something to help you sleep better if you like, but only if you're comfortable, I don't want you to have another panic attack.” he says looking at you with concern.

“Will it give me better dreams?” you ask in a small voice, meeting his gaze again.

“Yes, promise, as long as you promise me that you won't have another panic attack?” he asks while standing and walking to a nearby cabinet, and opening it up.

“I think I can manage that.” you say smiling at him. He turns back to you with a small needle, and a band aid in his hand. He walks towards you and says, “You should lean back, this stuff works quick.” he cleans the area he's about to put the needle in as you lean back. “I will be here in the morning when they ask their questions.”

“Thank you, and thank you for being so nice to me, even though you don't know me.” you say smiling. When he finishes he puts a teenage mutant ninja turtle band aid on your arm. “Really? Teenage mutant ninja turtles?” you ask with a small laugh.

“What? I thought it was appropriate.” he says with a large smile. “Now try and get some sleep, I will see you in the morning.” he says while walking to the door “Goodnight Bruce, thank you…” you say, your words starting to blend together. <i>He was right about this acting quick…</i>

“Goodnight.” Bruce says while turning out the lights, he turns and walks out the door, closing it behind him. He walks back to the elevator, taking it to the recreation floor, where the crew quarters are. He walks to his room, and sits on his bed.

“Friday, please alert me when our patient wakes up.” he says then crawls in bed to sleep as well.

“Yes sir.” Friday whispers from the ceiling.

Back in your room

You smile to yourself,<i> Maybe this place isn't so bad, Bruce is nice, I hope they don't think I'm hydra, I hope I'm not hydra……</i> *Snore*

Time Skip,

You wake up slowly, groggy from the drug Bruce gave you last night. Your eyes are too tired to open n, but your mind starts to work. You feel something, something is wrong. Your eyes pop open and land on a very angry, very tall, very scary, redhead standing in front of your bed with her arms crossed, glaring at you.. <i>Oh shit. Natasha Romanoff!</i>

[sckyie]

song: dancing in my room by 347aidan

word count: 1.3k

genre + warnings: fluff; swearing, emo mode & insecurities mentioned

pronouns used: female insert (she/her)

a/n: no thoughts just bokuto <3 also requested by @lulu-102 also ive been tagging my general taglist not my imagine taglist bc it makes no sense to tag everyone in my playlist event thing

The upbeat music filled your room as you danced around in your room. You smiled as you jammed out to the melody. It was late at night and you'd been home alone all day. A dance session was the one thing that relieved your stress.

Bokuto could see from his window you dancing all about your room. He wasn't trying to peek in, but your bright LED lights and music caught his attention. He chuckled at the sight before returning to his conversation with Akaashi over video chat.

"Okay, that's the third time you weren't paying attention Bokuto-san. What are you looking at?" Akaashi asked.

"Y/n," He sighed. "She's dancing in her room and she's just too cute. I just- Sorry Akaashi."

"It's okay, why don't you ask her out?"

"Because she's in Class 6, why would she go out with me?" Bokuto groaned. He puts his head on the table as he sulked. "She's so fucking pretty."

"Bokuto-san."

"Hm?"

"You're one of the most popular boys in school, how wouldn't she like you? Plus, you guys are neighbors, isn't that a good thing?"

"Hnnnnngh." Bokuto groaned. He sat up and looked at his best friend. "We used to be close as kids then I took volleyball seriously and she drifted off. I don't even think she would like me. Fuck it, I don't even care."

"Bokuto, don't be so hard on yourself," Akaashi turns to talk to his mom. "I have to go, just try, you never know."

The call ends and he's left in his quiet room. The muffled music from your room made Bokuto wonder about you. He leaned over to peek at you dancing and notice you trip over yourself. He giggled at the sight as you immediately picked yourself up.

Bokuto sighed before turning off his light and laying in his bed. Only thing on his mind was you. He'd fallen for you in your first year. Whenever he saw you, his mood was brought up but then dipped back down. He told himself that he'd never get a relationship with you and that there were better guys for you.

After your stumble, you notice the light in Bokuto's window turn off. You tilted your head and lowered down your music. You looked around to find your long umbrella and approached your balcony. Sliding open the door, the cool air hit your arms, causing you to shiver. Carefully, you reached over and tapped Bokuto's window with the umbrella.

No response.

"Hmph," You huffed. You tapped again and the light flickered on. You watched as Bokuto made his way to the window. "Hey Ko." You smiled.

"Hey," He says softly.

"Oh, did I wake you?" You panicked.

"No, no, I'm just..." Bokuto rubbed the back of his neck.

"Didn't have a good day?" You ask.

"You could say that," He sighed.

"Well, I saw your light go out early so I was confused. Since you're having a bad day, did you wanna come over?" You suggest.

"Wait, come over?" He asks.

"Yea," You smiled. "You could always climb over the balcony like you did when we were kids."

"No, I shouldn't," He sighed.

"Please," You pouted. You quickly took the remote for your lights out and change the color to blue. "Come dance with me?" Bokuto chuckled at your way of begging.

"Fine, move over shorty," He says. He closes his glass door and turned back to you. You rolled your eyes at your old nickname and entered your room.

"I was taller than you back then, just saying," You argued. Bokuto easily climbed between balconies and followed after you, closing the door behind him.

"Yea but who's taller now?" He joked. You jabbed his shoulder before turning to change the lights to a color fade. "How do I dance with you? I haven't danced before."

"Just do what feels right," You say as you started swaying to the beat. You held out your hand to him as you moved. Bokuto chuckled at you before grabbing your hand. You tug him closer as you continued to dance.

As the songs end, you couldn't help but notice the smile on Bokuto's face. You two danced for another twelve songs before you got a text that you were being too loud. You turned down the music as Bokuto played with your lights while sitting on your bed.

You seat yourself next to him, leaning yourself on his shoulder. "It's been too long since we hung out Ko," You sighed.

"Yeah, last time I was here you had Hello Kitty on the walls not-" He paused to read the record title on your wall. "Not records that say Sex by The Beach." He looked at you chuckling.

"Shut up," You laughed.

"Is this us?" He pointed out a frame by your bedside table.

"Oh, it fell off my wall," You say. "It's one of my favorite photos of us."

The picture was of you and Bokuto in his sister's room. You had put on heels way too big for a seven year old and wore a long feather boa. Bokuto had a cardboard crown on his head and your pearl necklace. You two held up both ends of a bear to the camera, smiling like idiots.

"Damn we look fly," He laughed. You changed the lights to a less intense blue before laying back on your bed. Bokuto pokes your stomach before standing up. "I should get going now."

"Nooo," you whined. You held out your arms for him to cuddle you. "Come here snuggle bug."

"You haven't called me that since we were eight," He laughed. "Plus we're older now, it wouldn't be right."

"Why not?" You sat up.

"Because you're a girl and I'm-"

"A boy? Ko, what's wrong?" You tilt your head.

"Nothing, what would people say if they found out we slept next to each other?" Bokuto says. You could tell he was worried about your reputation. You shuffled to the end of the bed and reached up to Bokuto's shoulders. "Wha-"

You peck his cheek before sitting back. You notice his shocked expression and giggle at the sight. "Who cares Ko? No one will know we cuddled. Not unless you tell them. What's the harm?" You say. Bokuto sighs and looks at your puppy dog eyes. "Please. Just this once."

"Fine," He gave in. You open your arms for him to join you but he decides to tackle you into your pillows.

"Oh my god Kōtarō you're suffocating me," You muffled. He rolls of you and lays on his back. You turn to snuggle him, laying your head on his chest. "I...kinda missed this.." You hand subconsciously began to draw shapes on his torso.

"Really?" Bokuto looked down to see you and noticed your sleepy eyes. He chuckled before staring at the ceiling. "You know, you really made my night. All the dancing brought up my mood and...I'm glad it did. I missed hanging out with you."

He looks at you to find you asleep, softly snoring to the ambient noise of your fan. Bokuto could feel the heat rise to his cheeks as you shifted to hold him closer. He couldn't find himself to fall asleep after thinking about you all night. That was until you began to sleep talk.

"Mfffm Ko," You mumbled.

"Hm?" He looks down to see you dead asleep. "Sleep talking." He whispered.

"I like..I love you..." You slurred. "I miss hanging out with fou...But you're too pop- popular to date..."

You fell back asleep before you could finish your sentence. All Bokuto wanted to do was wake you to confirm your confession. Nonetheless, he smiled before kissing your forehead. "I love you too," he responded. He knew that in the morning, he'd repeat himself to you, starting your new relationship.

taglist: @amillionfandoms-onlyoneme @d0llpie @elianetsantana @joy-laufeyson

[trulymadlysydney]

The Boy Next Door- IV

Of all the things she could’ve ordered, it had to be a sex toy.  And of all the people who could’ve been her neighbor, it just had to be coffee shop Harry.

*takes a big, long, deep breath*  I... am so sorry for how long it took to upload this.  I am also very sorry for this entire chapter in general.  Truly.  I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me. 

(Part One HERE) (Part Two HERE) (Part Three HERE)

Playlist HERE

***PLEASE DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION***

-Not even a sappy post it note left on the pillow saying goodbye?  Worst sleepover ever

Nova yawns and smiles sleepily to herself as her fingers type out and send the text message to Harry.   She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t a bit disappointed to not wake up in his arms, but still.  Waking up in his bed was the next best thing.

His room is so cozy, and the curtains he has on his windows are much better than the ones she has on hers.  They’re thick, and they keep the room fairly dark, save for the light oozing out from the sides.  If it hadn’t have been for her alarm on her phone, Nova reckons she could’ve slept all day.  His covers are thick and his sheets are smooth and he has the type of pillows that are squishy in all the right places.

Speaking of pillows, she takes the one that Harry had been sleeping on and hugs it close to her.  She closes her eyes and inhales, then lets it all out in a satisfied hum.  It smells deliciously like him.  (Nova can’t help that she’s a sap when she’s sleepy. And she can’t help that she’s falling ridiculously hard for this boy.)

Her phone buzzes a few seconds later, and she grins when she reads Harry’s response.  

-Someone kept me up all night and I almost overslept.   I was almost late to my 8am.

-Texting in class?

-...yes?

-Shame on you

-Get up.  Get ready for your 9am, and stop judging my life. x

-I don’t know if I can, actually.  Your bed is ridiculously comfy

-It is, isn’t it?  You’re welcome in it any time you’d like.

-Thank goodness because I don’t think I’m ever going to leave

-That is more than fine by me, gorgeous.

Nova bites at her lip and lets out the girliest giggle when she reads his text.  Gorgeous.  He called her gorgeous.

-I actually should get up though :((

-Booo.  You can skip one day of class, it won’t hurt.    -Skip, and be there when I get back.

-Ha, I wish -You’re a terrible influence

-What can I say?

-I’m going to miss your bed when I get out of it

-I’m sure my bed will miss you, too.

-So, a date in your bed again tonight? -Or mine.  I’m sure my bed would love to meet you

-Meeting the bed, huh?  This is getting serious. -I can’t tonight, unfortunately.  Staying over at Jeff’s place.

-Aww man :(  That’ll be fun though! 

-Will it?  He invited me over because he’s been having work issues.  Again.

-Poor guy :(

-It’ll be fine.  Just needs a guy’s night I think. I would much rather be meeting your bed though.

-Well we could still hang out today! What are you doing after your classes?

-Can’t get enough of me, can you?

Nova rolls her eyes and her cheeks are burning.  She rolls out of Harry’s bed and walks back out into his living room, but she hardly even looks up from her phone.

-Fortunately for you, I can’t -But keep being a cocky little shit and we’ll see what happens.

-Cocky? Me?  Never. -But I actually have band practice today.  

-You’re in a band?!

-Thought I told you that!

-You mentioned you sing, you didn’t mention you had a whole entire band!

-Oh. Well surprise, then! I’m in a band.  -And we’re practising at the apartment this evening, which sucks because otherwise you’d absolutely be over at my place.  No questions asked.

-And I could finally kick your ass at that game of Parcheesi you mentioned, am I right?

-Can’t believe you remember that.  But yeah, sure.  Keep telling yourself that you’d be the one doing the ass kicking.

-Cute how you think I wouldn’t...

-Cute how you’re probably still in my bed.

-GOOD TRY but I’m in your living room now

-Going through my things to see if you can dig up any dirt on me?

-You know me so well

Nova takes a moment to actually look up and take in what his apartment looks like, because she hadn’t really paid that much attention the night before.   The one critique she has is that it doesn’t smell anywhere near as good as her and Jessie’s place.  It doesn’t smell bad, necessarily, but it smells distinctly like “boy,” mixed with a few old candles.

Her eyes fall on a large case over by the window, and she’s immediately intrigued.  She walks over and realizes what exactly she’s looking at, and she adores it.  Each shelf in the case is crammed with records.  There must be at least a hundred in there.  Some old classic vinyls, some newer pop albums that she recognizes. All different genres, and all of them look to be in excellent condition.

She immediately shoots Harry another text.

-Impressive record collection!

-So you are going through my things?  Sneaky sneaky.

-I’m not going through anything, you pest, I just saw the collection.  And I’m serious, it’s impressive

-Thank you!  Been working on it for basically my whole life.

-I can tell! What’s your favorite?

-God, what a question.  That’s like asking me to pick a favorite child. -Ever heard of The Stone Roses?

-Can’t say I have, no! 

-Check them out.  Should be on the second shelf down.  

Nova follows his instructions and sees the exact album he’s referring to.  She pulls the oversized record sleeve from its place and examines it as Harry sends another text.

-They’re actually from my hometown.  Formed in Manchester in the 80s I believe.  They’re sick.  -You can take the record home with you if you want to.  Give them a listen.

-I don’t own a record player :(

-What?! -It’s like you live in the year 2018 or something.  Crazy.

Nova realizes she hasn’t stopped smiling during this entire conversation when her cheeks start to hurt a bit.  Her phone vibrates with another text.

-Look them up on youtube then. I think you’ll like them.

-I definitely will!

Nova returns the record to its home on the shelf before standing up and heading towards the door.  She knows she needs to go get ready for class, although she is tempted to crawl back into his bed and go back to sleep.  When she spies a some paper in his kitchen on her way out, she giggles to herself as a plan forms.  It doesn’t take long for her to find a pen, and with a smile on her face she scribbles “Here’s a sappy post-it note for you, since you didn’t leave one for me.  You’re welcome. Xoxo, Novocaine.”

She sticks the note to his pillow (and shamelessly gives the pillow one more sniff) before slipping out of his apartment and heading back to her own.

---

As it turns out, the effect of seeing Harry’s name on her phone never fails to make Nova’s stomach flip.  At around 3pm, he texts her again with a simple “is it ridiculous to say that I miss you?”

It is ridiculous, really.  Of course it is.  But she’s so happy, and she’s so happy to see that he’s feeling the same way.  

Her response is immediate and, not surprisingly, sarcastic.  Mentioning how it would be more ridiculous if he didn’t miss her, and then following up with a quick “All jokes aside, I suppose I miss you too,” and adding “but not as much as I miss your bed.  That was comfy as hell.”

It’s when he tells her that, if his band weren’t coming over in fifteen minutes he’d invite her right back over to his bed, that she gets an idea.

Is it a good idea?  Decidedly not.  But it’s an appealing one and one that she’s sure he’s going to enjoy just as much as she does.

She double checks the time, and then triple checks it as she heads into her bedroom.  She knows Jessie isn’t going to come home until around 6:30 so she’s safe in that aspect.  But still, just to be even more safe, she closes and locks her bedroom door behind her.  (Call it force of habit, but its truly just a security thing for her at this point.)

Nova reaches under the bed and pulls out the exact thing she’s looking for-- the little white wand that brought her and Harry together in the first place.  She beams as she flips the vibrations on and off for a quick second, just to make sure its fully charged and ready to go.  It is.

She can’t remove her pants fast enough, and soon she’s climbing onto her bed and relaxing back onto the pillow that’s pushed against the wall she’s almost positive that Harry is on the other side of.  She’s already shivering, partly from anticipation and partly from her newfound lack of clothes.  With a cheeky grin that she can’t even contain, she shoots him a text.

-Oh yeah?  With completely innocent intentions I have no doubt

She chews on her lip as she waits for his response, hoping that she hasn’t taken too much time setting up her plan.  She doesn’t want to go through with this if his band is starting to arrive at his place.  Having just Harry overhear her the first time was embarrassing enough, but his entire band?  She’d never be able to show her face ever again.

Luckily, he does reply quickly.

-Completely innocent.

-Just like you, right?

-I wouldn’t be so quick to point fingers, little miss, lest you forget how we first began talking.

Nova rolls her eyes at how proper that text reads, before reminding him that the first time they actually spoke was at a coffee shop.  But she digresses. That has nothing to do with the task at hand.  With a flip of her thumb, she hears the vibrations that send her stomach swirling before even touching her.  

-Who said I’m pointing fingers, hm? -If I wanted to do anything with my fingers, it wouldn’t be pointing.

She reads and rereads the sentence she just sent, hoping that it comes across the way she wants it to.  Just because she’s feeling sexy does not mean that Harry is, and for all she knows he could have interpreted that message in an absolutely different way than she’d intended.  She bites her bottom lip, scrambling to think of something to say to possibly change the situation, when his response lights up her screen.

-Interesting.  What would you do with them?

Her stomach floods with butterflies at his words, and she becomes aware of the buzzing in her other hand.   She quickly lowers the vibrator teasingly down between her legs.  The minute it touches her skin, she shudders and involuntarily exhales a soft whisper of “Oh my god.”

With the vibrator rubbing light circles at her clit, she uses her free hand to type out her response.

-I can think of a few things -But then again, those are things that could be much better done by the vibrator -Or, by your fingers preferably. 

The vibrator is still only on low, but the tingles it sends up through her spine have her unraveling torturously slow. 

No teasing, she reminds herself.  

At least... no teasing herself.

She flips up the speed of the vibrations and lets out an exaggerated moan that is, admittedly, much louder than necessary, but loud enough that she knows it’s going to get his attention. Her phone vibrates again.

-Jesus.  Somebody’s in a mood isn’t she?

-Not if you don’t want me to be

-No believe me.  I want you to be. -I actually haven’t stopped thinking about last night.  I mean that in the least perverted way possible, because I don’t want you to think that I’m only into you because of that. -But god, love.  I’ve never seen anything as sexy as you cumming from just my fingers.  -Is that too much to say?

Nova is too preoccupied to respond right away, but his words make her throb the moment she reads them on the screen.  She allows her mouth to fall open and her head to loll back against the wall.  She mutters a soft “fuck” before remembering her objective here and saying it louder.

Almost immediately the gray dots appear on the screen once again.

-...Nova, was that you?

She pulls the vibrator away from her clit momentarily, just to force herself to focus and respond to him.

-Was what me?

-That noise. -Are you doing what I think you’re doing?

Nova lets out another exaggerated moan that, in honesty, isn’t all that exaggerated because the combination of his words and the vibrations between her legs really is making her feel this good. 

-Jesus, Nova are you trying to kill me?

She goes full force now, not responding to his texts but still reading them when they pop up at the top of her screen. Fully immersed in the experience, her thoughts go in a billion different directions.  She lets out another loud cry when she thinks about the way his fingers had curled inside of her last night.  The way he’d spoken to her as he was making her cum.  The way he’d looked at her.

When her phone vibrates again, she realizes that she’s closing her eyes.  She opens them to read the text that’s appeared at the top of her screen, which is soon followed by another text.  And then another.

Oh yes, he knows exactly what she’s doing.

-God you really are a brat. -Fine then.  Let’s see how long it takes you when you’re on your own.   -Because you and I both know that if it were me doing that to you, you’d be cumming in seconds. -Last night was just a preview of what I can do to you, sweet girl. And if I were there right now, I wouldn’t stop at just one. I’d keep going and going until you’d beg me to stop. -And I wouldn’t limit myself to my fingers either.  I’ve been dying to know what you taste like. -Love hearing you like this, but if you think you aren’t in trouble for being a fucking tease then you’re wrong.  -You’re already close just from my words aren’t you? -Aren’t you, Nova?  Answer me.

Nova can’t even bring herself to text back.  Its all too deliciously overwhelming.  She knew that Harry was good at dirty talk, but its almost even more intoxicating reading his words instead of hearing them, because she knows that eventually he’s going to follow through.  

The most she can manage is a loud moan of his name followed by a long cry of “yes, fuck fuck fuck!”  Harry responds shortly after.

-Good girl. -God, listen to you.  Do you know how fucking hard you’re getting me right now? -You’re in for it the next time I get you alone, I swear to god Nova.  -If my fucking band weren’t coming over at any second I’d come over there and finish you off myself. -Holy fuck, Nova, those noises... -Do me a favor, darling?   -Scream my name when you cum.  Please.  Need to hear that again.

She almost contemplates going against his wishes, just because the thought of being punished by him is even sexier than the thought of being rewarded by him.  But then she feels that familiar twinge in her stomach, and suddenly things are spiraling out of her control before she even has time to process them.  Next thing she knows, she’s practically crying as the high overcomes her.

The fact that she doesn’t have to limit her volume makes the experience all the more enjoyable.  She’s shouting and whining and gasping, and babbling some type of word that doesn’t quite sound like his name-- but its all she can manage at the moment. 

She’s imagining his reaction.  In a perfect world, she’s imagining him hard, touching himself on the other side of the thin wall.  In reality though, she knows he’s probably only halfway chubbed up-- not enough to become desperate, but enough that its an uncomfortable and inconvenient little reminder of her.

She’s got him exactly where she wants him, and the feeling is euphoric. 

Nova pulls the vibrator away when the feeling becomes too much, but she’s practically in shock.  Her ears are ringing, her eyes are wide, and she has to blink a few times to get her eyes to focus again.  It isn’t until her phone vibrates with another text from Harry that she only somewhat comes back to earth.

-Fuck Nova you’ve got me so hard right now.  -That was your plan all along, wasn’t it you little brat?

Nova swallows, weakly pushing herself to sit up a bit.  She notices the sheets are a bit damp beneath her.  Had she been sweating that hard?

-Did it work?

-I swear to God... -Come over. -I’ll be quick.

It makes Nova giddy thinking about running next door for a quickie with Harry and knowing that his friends could pop in at any moment.  She’s absolutely in for a punishment after what she’s done, and the thought makes her heart pound and her head swim.

-Don’t want you to be quick

-I’ll cancel on my band.  Right now. -Need you so fucking bad.

Nova knows she shouldn’t be a tease any longer.  She knows full well that what she’s doing is bratty, but she’s got to get her kicks while she can and frankly, she wants him to be as mean (in the loveliest way) as possible when he does finally get his hands on her. 

-You can’t cancel on your band, Harry -You don’t need me that badly -Do you?

-I do. -Not sure you deserve it after that little show you put on, but that is neither here nor there. -I. Need. You. Now.

Nova bites her bottom lip, smirking at her phone and the desperation that is seeping off of his texts.  She’s about to just say fuck it, invite him over without giving his band a second thought, when he texts her again.

-Fucking hell.  They’re here.

-Oh noooo.  You poor thing :(

She knows she should relax but right now she’s having too much fun tormenting him.  She rolls off of her bed, shimmies into a clean pair of panties, and hurries into her living room just in time to hear voices coming from the hallway on the other side of her front door.

“Shit, H! You took your sweet time coming to the door, didn’t you lad?”  It’s a male voice and it makes Nova snicker, especially when she hears a faint “fuck off” coming from Harry.  She listens through all of their muffled greetings until she hears Harry close his door and their voices fade away.

Satisfied with her work, Nova decides to set her phone down and hop in the shower.  It’s still early and a lovely day outside. She has the fleeting thought that maybe she can convince Jessie to head out for sushi tonight, and her stomach grumbles in response.  So with one more smug little giggle she tosses her phone onto her bed and heads to the bathroom.

When she returns however, she is met with a text from Harry that sends her heart into a frenzy all over again.

-You have no idea what you’re in for little girl.

------

It’s Friday when Nova finally gets to see Harry again. 

Neither one of them has brought up up her little production since Monday, and Nova isn’t sure whether or not that’s a good thing. 

All of that aside, however, she does enjoy the fact that she and Harry speak constantly. They’d exchanged several texts and even a few phone calls throughout the week-- and it was during a phone call on Wednesday that he’d invited her here tonight.

“Bit silly that we talk on the phone so much when you live next door to me,” he’d said.  “I could get up right now and be in your bed in under ten seconds.”

To which Nova had giggled and replied,  “Well for one thing you know I’m not home right now.”

“Didn’t say I needed you in your bed with me.”

Nova rolled her eyes, but he’d only continued.  “But anyway, that’s also silly that you aren’t home right now.  You could easily be studying in my bed with me instead of at that damned coffee shop.”

Nova’s stomach had twisted at that because, god, was it tempting.  But no.  She picked at her nails casually as she spoke.  “Then we wouldn’t be doing much studying would we?”

“Depends how you look at it.”  Before even knowing what Harry was going to follow that statement up with, Nova had known it was going to be cheeky.  “Technically we’d be studying biology.”

“Harry.”

“Or anatomy, even.”

“Harry!”

They’d continued on like that for a bit until Nova felt her skin was practically on fire, and then just as swiftly as he’d turned her on, he’d changed the subject.  Telling her about this gig that his band was playing Friday night at a local bar, which he referred to as “vibey.”  Nova had rolled her eyes at his choice in adjectives, but he’d only continued.  “Absolutely sick.  I think you’ll dig it.”

Which is how she’s ended up here, bopping along to his band’s fourth song of the night and giggling like a little girl whenever Harry looks over at her and winks.

The entire band is beyond brilliant.  Not that she expected anything less.  She’d briefly met the other members before they’d gone up on the stage, and they all seemed to be incredible people who were passionate about what they did.  Watching them up there now, she’s absolutely mesmerized.  

It is hard, however, to focus her eyes on anything but Harry.  Especially when he looks as delicious as he does tonight.  The combination of the suit he’d opted to wear plus his slightly messy hair and thick hands on his guitar is absolutely deadly to Nova.  And despite the fact that she’s there to listen to the band and their music, she can’t stop her mind from thinking about how fantastic it’s going to be when she gets him alone tonight.

Nova is torn out of her thoughts when she feels someone nudge her.  She turns to see a guy, probably a little bit older than her, holding a beer and smiling at her.  He nods his head up at the stage.  “Ever heard them play before?”  

Nova shakes her head.  “No! This is the first time.”

They both have to speak loudly to be heard over the music.  The guy nods his head.  “Ah.  I saw them a few weekends ago up at some other bar.  They’re sick!”

The pride emanating from Nova’s chest causes her to smile, and she allows herself to glance back up at Harry one more time before nodding.  “I agree.  I’m kinda... seeing that guy up there.”  She doesn’t know how else to word it, because “dating” seems to be too formal for what she and Harry currently are.  She wants to further explain, but her new friend thinks nothing of it.

“What?  The lead singer?”  When Nova nods, his jaw drops.  “No way! That’s awesome.  Met him the other weekend.  He bought me a couple drinks. He’s a good guy. You know he’s from England?”

Nova giggles.  “I did know that, yeah.”  

The song comes to an end and the crowd goes wild. Nova beams up at Harry, cupping her hands around her mouth and letting out a loud cheer.  He smirks but he doesn’t look back at her, busying himself instead with switching guitars.  As soon as the strap of the new guitar is over his shoulder and adjusted, he leans into the microphone.  “Alright.  We’ve got some adjusting to do up here... because this next song we’re going to be covering is a bit different.”

The guy beside Nova holds out his hand.  “I’m Jason by the way.”

Nova shakes his hand, still speaking a bit loud to be heard over the feedback from the amps onstage and the crowd around them.  “Nova!”

His jaw drops again and it makes Nova snort.  This guy is so easily amused by everything she says.  “What a cool name!”

“Thanks!”  

“You ever been here before?”

Nova shakes her head.  “Nah. This is the first time.  I only came because of Harry.”

“I feel that.”  He nods his head seriously.  “Can I tell you a secret? I come for the keyboard player.”

“Really? Do you know her?”

It’s Jason’s turn to shake his head.  “I wish.  I’m hoping maybe your boy can introduce us though.”

Nova giggles.  “I mean, I only just met her today.  Her name is Clare.  She’s a really cute person from what I can tell.” 

“Obviously.  She’s fucking adorable.  Talented as hell, too.  Ask your boy if he can hook us up, yeah?”

Nova giggles.  “Alright.”

The band fumbles around the stage, switching out instruments and mics, and someone is bringing a stool on the stage.  

“You need another one of those?”

“What?”  Nova’s a bit distracted by the way Harry looks as he communicates softly with his fellow band members.  He’s beautiful without even trying, and Nova can’t believe how much she’s falling for this guy.

Jason nods at the empty drink in Nova’s hand.  “You need a refill, girl.”

“Oh.”  On any other occasion, Nova would have probably said no.  But she’s in a very good mood right now and, honestly, another one would probably only add to it.  “Yeah, I do actually.”

“You want me to go grab you one?”

“No no that’s okay.  I can get it.”

“You sure?”  Jason holds up his own empty drink.  “Headed over there anyway.”

Nova glances back at Harry, who’s got a guitar pic between his teeth and is skillfully tuning the guitar in his hands.  God, he’s perfect.

“Yeah I’ll just go over with you, actually.” 

“Oh! Alright.”

Nova and Jason squirm and bump their way through the crowd of people and over to the bar, talking the whole time.  Nova learns that he’s lived in California his whole life, but only moved to Los Angeles for film school about a year ago.  He’s 27, but the reason he’d waited so long to come here was because he’d had a long term girlfriend who he’d thought he was going to marry back at home. 

As they’re ordering their drinks, Nova can hear Harry saying something into the microphone.  She believes its a back story for the song they’re about to do, but its hard to understand him what with the story she’s currently telling Jason.  She makes a mental note to ask Harry what he was saying later.

It isn’t long before the song is starting.  It’s slower than the other songs they’d played, and Nova can instantly tell that the vibes of this song are different. Jason pays for both of their drinks (despite Nova’s protests) and the two bump their way back through the crowd just as Harry starts to sing. 

The crowd has gotten thicker since they’d left, and when Jason holds his hand out for Nova to take so they can stay together, she instinctively takes it.  He looks over his shoulder and says, “Gotta get you back up to your man,” which makes Nova laugh.

When Harry’s voice goes into falsetto,  chills rise all along Nova’s body.  The lighting is dim, save for one bright light on him.  He looks different, too.  More serious.  Less happy, but not necessarily sad or upset.  Every now and then, the girls in the band will join in with a harmony, but otherwise its just Harry.

Although Nova is focused more on getting back to her original spot and apologizing to the people she bumps into, she feels like she’s practically in a daze listening to Harry sing whatever song this is.

Jason leads Nova as close to their original spot after much struggle, and when he finally stops walking he grumbles, “Jesus.”  But then he’s right back to being the happy, friendly guy Nova just met.  “Anyway!”

Instead of letting go of her hand, he raises it, signaling for her to twirl under it.  Nova smiles, moving slowly.  Maybe its the slow, dreamy song.  Maybe its the boy singing it, or the way her skirt swishes as she twirls.  Whatever it is, she’s in a trance. She’s happier than she’s been in a long time, and this is all thanks to Harry.

Jason smiles at her and sways a bit himself before dropping her hand.  “Your boy is really good, Nova.”

Nova smiles up at Harry.  “I know he is.”

Oddly enough, Harry doesn’t look at her much during this song like he’s been doing throughout every other song.  It’s strange, but Nova just assumes its because this is a slower song.  It sounds sad, and Harry keeps repeating the words “Wishing you were mine” over and over.   Maybe it is a sad song, and Nova had missed the explanation earlier.  Maybe its a breakup song that Harry had absolutely fallen in love with during a tough time.  He does have such an amazing music taste, after all, so it wouldn’t surprise her.

The song ends shortly after, and everyone including Nova once again goes wild.  The band all smiles down at the crowd reactions, but for some reason, Harry doesn’t.

Harry isn’t even really looking at the crowd, actually.  He’s looking straight ahead, and his jaw is set.  He’s got the same look on his face that he did earlier-- not sad, but definitely not too pleased-- and it leads Nova to conclude that that really is an emotional song for him.  She cups her hands around her mouth once more and calls out to him, cheering and clapping with the audience and fully prepared to greet him with an encouraging smile to bring him back to earth. 

But he doesn’t even budge.

When the crowd relaxes, he seems to come back a bit.  He clears his throat and leans in to the microphone.  “Thank you.  Eh.. we’ve got one more song for you guys, and I’m sure you’ll all know it.  So... if you like it, feel free to sing along.”

There’s hardly any hesitation before he nods at the band and counts down the beginning of the song.  As soon as he plays the opening chords,  his head lowers.  He doesn’t lift it again.

Nova furrows her eyebrows and turns to Jason.  “Is he being like, totally weird now, or is it just me?”

“What??”  Jason seems to know the song they’re playing, and he’s bopping and swaying around like a madman.

Nova smiles in spite of herself.  “Nothing.  Nevermind.”

“Why aren’t you dancing?!”

She shakes her head  and laughs when Jason takes her hand and twirls her once more.  He chants “Dance!” at her until she’s finally making a bit of an effort to move without his help.  

And soon all is forgotten.  Soon she’s laughing and dancing, assuring herself that its all in her head and reminding herself that she gets that beautiful, talented guy and all of his post-show adrenaline to herself after this show.

She is going to absolutely ravage him.

During a long guitar break, the band says their final thank you’s and goodbye’s, and before Nova knows it the song is over.  The crowd is going even more wild than before, and rightfully so.  But now, Nova is getting pushed and shoved to the side as everyone tries to rush in separate directions.  Some run towards the stage to try and talk to the band.  Some are making a desperate attempt to leave the dance floor and head over to the bar before everyone else has the same idea.  And then there’s Nova, caught in the chaos while unsuccessfully trying to keep her eye on Harry so she can find him after all of this.

By the time things finally do calm down even the slightest bit, the band is off the stage and has most likely blended into this crowd.  Nova frowns as her eyes scan the room and she comes to the realization that Harry didn’t come find her. 

She hardly registers it when Jason asks her if she wants another drink.  “What?  Oh, no.  I uh... I have to go find Harry.”

“Ooh yes.  Go get your man.”  Jason wiggles his eyebrows.  “But don’t forget what we talked about, alright?  I’ll be hanging out here all night.  I want to meet Clare.”

Nova half-heartedly laughs, too consumed by her own concerns at the moment. 

Why didn’t Harry come find her?

“Alrighty, will do.  It was nice meeting you, Jason!”

Jason gives her a sweaty hug and, annoyingly, reminds her one more time about how badly he wants to meet Clare.  Of course.

Nova pushes her way through the crowd and her panic levels begin to rise.  She knows Harry wouldn’t leave without her, but still.  Being at a bar alone, knowing nobody around her-- its a terrifying thought.

Relief washes over her when, finally a few minutes later she spies him, leaning on the bar.  He’s surrounded by a group of people; mostly the people from the band from what she can see.  They’re all talking and laughing with drinks in hand, but Harry isn’t joining in the jokes.  Harry’s barely even smiling as he sips something brown from a clear glass.

“There you are!”  Nova pushes her way through the crowd.  The minute Harry sees her, whatever trace of a smile he’d had disappears. When Nova wraps her arms around his middle and gives him an affectionate squeeze, he only drapes his arm loosely around her.  Uh oh.

“I didn’t know where you went!” Nova says, unaffected by his lack of enthusiasm.

“Was right here,” he mutters.  He looks like he’s about to say something else, but instead he raises his glass to his lips and takes a long sip.

Nova blinks, but she shakes it off.  “Harry, you were so good!  The whole band was outstanding.  I love your music!! I don’t know why you didn’t show me sooner, seriously.  Because wow.”

Harry shrugs.  “Sorry.”  

He takes another sip, and now Nova is starting to get uncomfortable.  She opens her mouth to ask him what’s going on, but she’s cut off when the band’s bassist makes his way over.  “Heyyy, there she is!  How’d you like the set?”

This guy, Adam if Nova remembers correctly, is a total sweetheart.  His smile is blinding and he seems to really love this band and what he does, because he’s never not smiling.  Nova beams right back at him.  “It was incredible! Seriously, you guys are so sick.  And you’re insanely talented!”

Adam smiles so wide it looks like his eyes are barely even open.  Its adorable.  “Thanks!  Felt really good tonight.  Loved the crowd!”

“So did Nova,” Harry mutters, and both Adam and Nova fall silent for a moment.

Nova blinks, taking in what he’s just said.  “I... what?”

Harry shakes his head and shifts his weight so he’s standing upright.  “Nothing.  ‘Scuse me.”  He puts his hand on the drummer’s back to gently let her know that he’s trying to get through, and then he’s maneuvering his way through the room. 

Nova gapes dumbly after him.  She doesn’t even know what to say, and apparently neither does Adam, because they both just stare at the crowd that Harry has disappeared into. This isn’t the Harry that Nova knows.  Not by a long shot.  But what on earth had made him so moody all of a sudden?

Adam chuckles, raising a nervous hand to run through his hair.  “Sorry about him.”

It’s then Nova realizes her mouth is still open, and she turns her attention to Adam.  “I don’t understand what just happened.”

Adam shrugs.  “He gets... weird sometimes.  Gets in these shitty moods.  He can be a real asshole when he wants to be.”

“But what did I do?” Nova’s frowning, and she realizes that she has a slight whine in her voice when she asks.

“Nothing that I know of.  You came to his show to support him, and now he’s being a prick to you.”

Nova holds her breath as she considers her words, but she blows it all out when her mind comes up short. 

Adam leans against the bar.  “Hey,” he says with a smile.  “I wouldn’t worry about it too much if I were you, alright?  It’ll pass and he’ll be right back to being the Harry that we all know and love.”

Nova frowns.  “He doesn’t get a free pass to be a douchebag without explaining himself.”

This makes Adam chuckle into his drink.  “You’re right, he doesn’t.  But I don’t want this to ruin your night.  Have a drink.  Let him sulk.  He’ll come around.  Here, what do you want?  A beer?”

Nova smiles at him.  He’s being such an angel to her and she’s only just met him tonight.  She shakes her head.  “Nothing for right now.  I’m gonna go find him.”

“You sure?”  His words are laced with genuine concern, and Nova nods.

“Yeah.  It’ll be fine.”

Adam takes a deep breath and nods.  “Alright then.  Good luck.”

Nova chews the inside of her cheek nervously as she makes her way through the bar.  It’s sweaty and crowded and dark, and the drunk people are just as annoying as ever. Her eyes scan the crowd as she walks, covering nearly every square inch of the bar, and she frowns when she doesn’t see him anywhere.  He wouldn’t have left without saying anything.

Would he?

She sees a group of girls heading towards a back door with lighters in hand.  One girl is holding a pack of cigarettes, and it’s then that Nova realizes there’s a back porch here.  She turns on her heels and hightails it to go catch up with the girls and follow them.

Its another warm night, which Nova loves,  There are a few people out here, and almost all of them are smoking.  She lets out a cough when a particularly thick cloud of smoke floats towards her.  She uses her hand to clear the air a bit, and then she sees him.

He’s leaned over the back railing.  His drink is still in his hand, but now his phone is in his other hand, and he’s scrolling mindlessly through some social media feed.  Nova is suddenly overcome with nerves, because although confrontation has never really been much of an issue for her, this is Harry she’s confronting, and somehow it doesn’t feel right.

She takes a deep breath and walks over to him.  He doesn’t look up, but he does audibly sigh when he sees her in his peripheral vision.  Nova frowns.  She’s about to open her mouth to say something, but Harry beats her to it.

“What are you doin’ out here?” He asks.

“Um, I could ask you the same question,” Nova blurts.  She feels awkward and exposed for some reason, and she doesn’t know what to do with her hands.  This is weird.  This is not right.

“Didn’t want to distract,” Harry states matter-of-factly.  He hits the power button on his phone before shoving it in his pocket and finally turning to face her. 

“Distract?  From what exactly?  The whole reason I came here was to see you.”

“Did you?”  Despite his mood, he’s still got the hint of a smirk on his face.  It’s different now though.  This one doesn’t turn Nova on.  This one makes Nova feel small, and not in a good way.

“What are you talking about?”

“Your friend.  He couldn’t have stood any closer to you if he’d tried, you know that?”

Nova wracks her brain to try and remember what “friend” Harry is referring to, until it clicks.  “Jason?”

Harry scoffs.  “Oh, s’that his name? Jason.  What a guy.  Good dancer, too.”

“Are you kidding me?  That’s really what this is about right now?”

“Guess it is.”

Nova shakes her head in disbelief.  What happened to him?  The sweet, romantic guy who was a little shit in the best way possible?  “Harry--”

“I know you’re a friendly girl, Nova.  I get it.  People can’t get enough of you.   But when I invited you tonight, it wasn’t just a ‘lets go out and get drunk and meet new people’ thing.  It wasn’t just a ‘friend’ thing, Nova.  It’s never been just a ‘friend’ thing.”

Nova takes a step towards him.  “Of course it’s not a ‘friend’ thing.  What are you even saying right now?  I came here because of you!  To see you!  I didn’t ask the guy to dance with me--”

“But you danced with him didn’t you?” 

“Yeah, actually!   I’m so sorry I had a basic interaction with another human being before checking with you first! Won’t happen again, sir!”

Harry rolls his eyes.  “For fucks sake, Nova.”

“No, really!  By all means!! Tell me what else I’ve done wrong! I complimented some girl’s shoes in the bathroom, is that okay with you?”

“Nova--”

“Also,  I hope it didn’t offend you just now when I told Adam he was insanely talented! I totally should have checked with you first!”

 Now that Harry’s actually making eye contact with her, Nova wishes he wasn’t.   He looks angry and hurt.  It’s a look she’s never seen on his face, and a look she never wants to see again.  “You know damn well that isn’t what I mean.”

Still, Nova stands her ground.  “Is it not?  Cause I’m kind of getting the feeling that it is.”

 “Did you tell him why you were here?”  His question is very to the point, and now Nova’s ears are ringing.

“Of course I--”

Harry cuts her off.  “Or did it not come up? I mean, no reason for it to come up, right?  Doesn’t mean anything.”

“Harry that’s not--”

“Doesn’t matter.  We’re just neighbors.  ‘Neighbors with benefits’ if you will. Right?”

Now Nova’s getting upset.  “You know for a fact that that’s wrong...”

“Do I?”  Harry’s posture is tense.  Where he seems to be looming, Nova seems to be shrinking.  She doesn’t like it. 

“It was just dancing!” Nova’s voice raises a bit.  Not enough to cause a scene quite yet, but enough.  “Holy shit, Harry, you don’t get to tell me what I can and cannot do.  Are you kidding me?  You don’t get to be jealous like this.”

“And you don’t get to tell me what I get to be, Nova!”  Harry shakes his head.  They stand there in their horrible, angry tension, and then Harry lets out a breath.  “Christ.”  He raises his glass to his lips and takes another sip.

“I can’t believe you,” Nova spits.  “I came here to support you and you’re getting jealous over nothing.  Something so fucking insignificant--”  Harry snorts at her words, “--and for what?  You haven’t asked me to be your girlfriend.  You haven’t even asked me on a date.”

“Did you even listen to a word I sang tonight?”

“Of course I did!”

“And did you hear what I said before the song you danced to?  Hm?  Were you listenin’ to that?”

“Harry, I was.”

“What did I say then?”

Nova’s jaw drops.  “Am I being fucking quizzed right now? Are you accusing me of lying?  Are you gonna fucking punish me if I get this wrong?”

“Did you hear what I said about you before that song?  Hm?”  

And now Nova’s mouth closes. 

Harry continues.  “No.  You didn’t. And you know why you didn’t?  You were getting a drink with Jason when I said it.”

Suddenly, the night feels a bit colder.  Nova has nothing to say.

Harry sighs and runs a hand through his hair.  His voice softens.  “Fuck.  I’m not saying that in order to be with me you can never talk to guys again.  I would never in a million years fucking say that to you.  Christ, have you seen yourself?  The day you stop getting attention is the day that hell freezes over.”

“Stop.” Nova’s voice is so quiet it’s hardly above a whisper.  

“But what I am saying...”  Harry lets out a long breath and takes another sip.  “I don’t know.  I’m saying I really fucking like you.  You’re always going to have male friends.  And you’re always going to be beautiful.  I hate to sound like a whiny little pissbaby, because I know... ha.  I know that’s what I fucking sound like.  But Nova, I said... a lot tonight.  And you didn’t hear a word of it.”

Nova feels that familiar lump in her throat and begs herself not to cry.  “What did you say?”

Harry laughs and shakes his head.  “Doesn’t matter.  None of this fucking matters.”

“Harry, it does matter.  Will you please just--”

“No,” Harry cuts her off.  “No I won’t ‘please just’ do anything.  I’m going to go home.  And I’m going to get in bed, and probably fucking hate myself for a long time.”

“But I don’t want you to--”

“But I’m going to, aren’t I?  I’m going to, because I fucked this whole thing up.  I invited you here.  I tried to confess my feelings in a very... stupid, fucking idiotic way.  And you weren’t even paying attention.   So now I feel like a fucking idiot, and I feel even more of an idiot for having this conversation in the first place.”

“Harry.”  That’s all Nova can even think to say.

“No, you know what?  You’re right.  I don’t get to be jealous like this.  I have no claim on you.  Whatsoever.  And I don’t know why I thought I did.”

Nova feels the first tear prickle at her eye, and she refuses to look up.  “You do.”

“I don’t. I really, really don’t.  And I’m sorry that I tried to force that into being a thing.”  Harry finishes off the rest of his drink and sets the glass down on the railing.  “And,” he adds,  “I’m sorry for this conversation.”

When Nova looks at him, she can’t stop herself from letting a tear fall down her cheek.  But she has nothing to say.

They they both stand there looking at one another.  Both of them wondering what the hell just happened between them.  Both of them wondering where they stand now.

Harry still looks mad, but his voice softens to an almost unrecognizable amount. “You have a safe way home?”

“I can take an uber.”

He nods his head as if thinking about something.  “Alright.”

He turns to go, but Nova reaches out to grab his arm.  “Can I leave with you?”

“Nova--”

“Please?  I want to go home.”

Harry’s eyes dart down to Nova’s hand on his arm, and even he looks like he could cry. Eventually, he sighs.  “Fine.  Let’s go.”

The shared uber ride back to the apartment complex is completely awkward, with the radio playing and the uber driving chatting cluelessly about a ride he’d had earlier.  Harry and Nova add their polite comments every now and then, but it feels so stiff.  So forced.  They’re sitting on opposite ends of the backseat, and Nova feels that if she were any closer to the car door she’d be outside of the car.  

Where Nova wants to be is on Harry’s lap.  She wants to taste whatever it was that he was drinking on his lips while they share giggly, post show adrenaline kisses.  She wants to be showering him in praises, hinting at what she’s going to do to him when they get home.  Would they have stayed at her place or his?  He hasn’t been to hers yet, and Jessie is gone for the night. They’d probably stay at hers.

But life is not a fanfiction, and Nova has to remind herself of that.  Things don’t work that way. 

Neither says a word once they get out of the uber either. The elevator ride up to their apartment is silent.  There are a few sniffles from Nova, who’s trying her best not to cry.  And Harry clears his throat every few moments.  But he won’t even look at her at this point, and Nova doesn’t know if thats a good or bad thing.

Its when they reach the space between their doors that Harry finally breaks the silence.  “Have a good night,” he says.  He doesn’t stop to hug her.  He just inserts his key into the door.

“Harry I’m sorry.”  It comes out fast and desperate, but somehow the words still don’t convey everything that Nova is feeling.  Right now, she’s hurt.  She’s hurt, and she’s guilty, and she wants to sit and talk this through with him.

He doesn’t look at her, but he does halt his movements for a brief moment.  “Me too.”

Nova allows her eyes to drop, because she isn’t about to stand there and stare at him until he disappears into his apartment.  Of course, the moment she looks down, her eyes come across something on the floor in front of her door. 

It’s small and square shaped, and it has a little red bow on it, as well as a note that reads:  “To Novocaine” in big letters.  After a split second of intrigue and endearment, her heart drops even lower than it was before.

“What’s this?”  She asks.

She is answered only by the sound of Harry’s front door closing.

Nova closes her eyes and allows the thickness of the situation to sink in for a moment before letting out all her air and leaning down to pick up the item.

She instantly recognizes it as a CD case, and when she picks up the note she notices a smaller message written below her name. 

“I promised you I’d introduce you to new music.  These are just a few (100 to be exact) of my favorites that remind me of you.  I know mix tapes are old fashioned and all the kids are using iTunes these days or whatever, but I knew you’d appreciate this. Thank you for being wonderful always. H x.  (PS.  Listen to track 36.  If tonight went the way I hope it did, you’re going to love it)”

A hot tear rolls quickly down Nova’s cheek and hits the case in her hand.  It lands right on the plastic CD cover, which is a poorly drawn illustration of the night sky that Nova knows immediately Harry’s done by hand.  And, in font that Harry probably traced, is the word “Supernova” in purple ink.  Fuck.

She reaches up to wipe at her eyes before disappearing into her apartment.  She doesn’t even bother taking off her makeup before she gets undressed and climbs into her bed, and five minutes later, she’s sitting under the covers with her laptop resting on her thighs.  She pushes the CD into the disc reader and waits.

A new tab opens with a list of every song burned onto the CD (and Harry was right, there are exactly one hundred), and seconds later, the cheerful intro to the very first song plays.

Fake young when we met, everything seemed alright...

Nova smiles in spite of herself.  She’s barely heard three seconds of only one song out of one hundred, but its such a sweet gesture and so ridiculously “Harry” that it makes her happy.  

She glances back down at the hand-drawn CD cover and the note that Harry wrote, and her heart sinks just a little bit more as she’s reminded of her current situation.  Things aren’t as happy as this song would lead her to believe. 

And Harry wants her to listen to track thirty six.

She scrolls through the song titles until she reaches thirty six, and her throat feels dry when she reads the title.  “Mine-  Dayo Bello (Cover by Harry Styles).”  It takes her fifteen seconds of reading the title before she finally plays it.

She doesn’t know when he recorded this, or how he’d kept it a secret from her.  But her eyes blur with tears as she listens.  She can hear him shuffling in his seat, she can hear his guitar strings squeaking under his fingers, she can hear him clearing his throat softly just before singing.  

Nova recognizes the song as one that Harry played tonight.  More specifically, it’s the one that she had danced and swayed with Jason to. She hadn’t listened to the words very carefully and realizes quickly that her assumptions about this song were not correct.  They’d been entirely off, in fact.

She hadn’t realized that Harry had chosen that song specifically for her, because it was how he felt.

His cover is beautiful.  It’s raw, and it makes Nova’s chest feel as though it’s being sat on by an elephant.  His falsetto causes chills all along her skin, just as it had earlier.  Even though she knows she’d heard him sing it a few hours before, this cover is different than it had been.  This cover feels more intimate because it’s just him.  There’s no band behind him doing backup vocals.  No other instruments.  It’s him, his guitar, and his feelings being poured out to her through the speakers of her laptop.

Nova lets out a shaky breath, trying and failing to get her breathing under control before eventually giving up.  She reaches up and rubs her face with her hands, over and over and over.  

“And you don’t even know, you’re like my wildest dream Held captive in stone, held captive in stone, Wishing you were mine Wishing you were mine...”

Nova swallows the lump in her throat before reaching over to pick up her phone.  She types and retypes apologies. She dials his number, but hangs up before hitting the call button.  She moves her laptop to the side, multiple times, and attempts to get up out of bed so she can go apologize in person.  She goes through the motions over and over, wash, rinse, repeat, repeat, repeat until she finally gives up and lets out a long sob.  

Could he hear that?  Does she care?  She feels restless, exhausted, helpless, and she can’t even begin to think of a way to fix this right now.  And all the while, Harry’s voice croons through her laptop, holding her frozen in place.

Wishing you were mine... Wishing you were mine...

Nova finally surrenders, allowing herself to just sit there and listen.  Listen to his voice, listen to the words and the emotions behind them.  This version is much, much longer than the one he’d played live tonight, and Nova doesn’t know if she’d rather the song never end or stop completely, mid chorus.

When it does finally end, fading into the next song, Nova just closes her laptop.  The room falls silent, and her throat feels thick.  She hadn’t realized that she was sitting straight up, and she relaxes back into her pillows with a defeated sigh. She has to say something.  Do something.  Anything.

She picks up her phone without allowing herself a second though, mindlessly types out a text message, and hits “send.”  Her heart is racing, pounding in her ears, and another tear rolls down her cheek.

-I am so, incredibly sorry Harry.

Read at 11:36pm.

[astronomyparkers]

Skyline {V}

Warnings: none

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Word count: 3k

A/N: So I originally intended for this to be the last part of Skyline, but because things needed to be explained so much, the story is getting a bit longer than I anticipated.  For that reason, there will be a Skyline pt. 6!!  I almost wish there wasn’t, because I love the evenness and finality of five parts, but what can you do.  Special thanks to Zoe and Jen for helping me brainstorm ideas, and for giving me feedback!!  Also, just a reminder, I do not have a tags list!!  I really hope you guys enjoy pt. 5!!!

{part I} {part II} {part III} {part IV}

You really had no idea how Spider-Man did it.  How could he walk around in his civilian life, bursting at the seams with the secret of his powers, and not tell anybody?  How could he stay up half the night roaming the streets of Queens and keeping them safe?  How did he balance his hero responsibilities with those of a typical teenager?  You were sure that, if the radioactive spider had bitten you, you would not have been able to handle it like Spider-Man did.

You felt the change immediately when you woke up the morning after your night with Spider-Man. After crossing all those lines that the two of you had so carefully left uncrossed for months, you had stayed up almost all night, just talking (and also kissing a little bit?  But really, could anyone blame you?  He was a super hero).  Once Spider-Man had left around four am, you had had less than two hours of sleep once your alarm rang at six.  And by the time you made it to school, you had felt like death warmed over. That day had been a groggy fog of trying to stay awake and coherent until school was over, and you were tucked away in your cozy bed.

And the thing was, the tiredness was the least of your worries.  You had kissed Spider-Man.  You had kissed Spider-Man.  Not only that, but Spider-Man had kissed you back.  And not only that, but Spider-Man was your boyfriend.  As in, someone that you could keep kissing, whenever you wanted to—as long as whenever was between the hours of midnight and three am.  All the secret meetings were exciting, sure, but bottling it up was starting to get to you.  Your friends had begun to notice that something was up with you, and they were beginning to ask questions.

“Seriously, Y/N, what is going on with you lately?” Alex had questioned in chemistry a few weeks into the affair. “Is something bothering you?”

“Hm?” You raised your head from your table, blinking groggily at your friend. “What was that?”

“Wake up!” Alex was twisted around uncomfortably in her chair, yet still managed to aim a kick at your leg under your table. “Are you sleeping okay?”

“I’m sleeping fine,” You yawned, stretching a hand into the air. “I’ve just been busy with school and stuff, and it’s tiring me out.”

“Oh, come on,” Alex rolled her eyes. “Are you really blaming this on academic decathlon? Peter’s in it too, and even with his Stark internship as well, he’s not as tired as you.” Alex glanced at the door. “Speak of the devil—”

Peter had walked over to your table, taking his seat down next to you. “Pardon?”

“Peter, you’re a busy guy, right?” Alex raised an eyebrow.

“I, uh, I guess so, yeah,” Peter shrugged, laying al his books on the table and pulling out his chemistry notes.

“Yet even you’re more awake than Y/N,” Alex pointed to you. “Which leads me to believe that Y/N must have something else filling up her time, besides what she says.  What do you think, Peter?”

Peter glanced at you, blushed, and then moved his gaze back down to his notes. “I, um, I wouldn’t know, really.  Who—I mean what!  What Y/N does at night is—is completely her business.”

“Thank you, Peter,” You had nodded towards the boy then looked back at your friend. “Why can’t you be as nice as him?”

“Character flaw, I guess?” Alex had shrugged and turned back around to face the front as your teacher called the class to order.

You knew that there was no chance of being able to tell Alex the reason you were so tired. You knew that you couldn’t tell anyone. And you didn’t want to tell anyone. Or at least…you didn’t want to tell just anyone.

The longer your affair with Spider-Man went on, the more you longed to know who he was.  It wasn’t because the curiosity was too much to bear, and it wasn’t because you felt like it was some fun trivia fact that you took lightly.  You worried about him; there were nights where he showed up on your fire escape with a pained smile, injuries that you couldn’t treat with a basic first aid kit, and a refusal to let you do anything more than give him some ice and a painkiller. There were nights where he would begin to tell you a story, only to cut off half way through to avoid revealing too much information about his everyday life to you.  There were nights where you would fall asleep on the fire escape, head tucked into the costume clad chest of the boy you thought you might even be falling in love with, only to wake up in your bed, alone, with a note tucked next to your head saying the simple word of “goodbye”.

The fact of the matter was that you couldn’t go on forever like this.  As September passed to October, and the nights got colder, you knew that you wouldn’t be able to keep spending all night on the fire escape. What would happen then?  Would Spider-Man come inside for a cup of tea? The idea of the masked hero sitting on your bed as you read a book was hard to picture.  There was a distance between you to, a distance that kept you from feeling everything you wanted yourself to feel.  Partially, it was physical; you wanted to hold his hand, his actual hand, not just the glove, and feel the softness of his skin, the calloused fingertips (he mentioned he worked with robotics), and see the veins of his hands and arms where blood moved just below the surface of his skin, a reminder that he was real, that he was alive.  But what you wanted yourself to feel, more than anything, was love.

You knew that you cared deeply for Spider-Man.  You felt the sadness every night when he left, the coldness when you woke up alone, the wanting to know how his day went that made you ache in the middle of the night. You could tell that the boy underneath the suit was someone you could love, someone that could love you back in return, someone who could make you feel like falling into them wasn’t so terrifying.  But you couldn’t feel that way about Spider-Man himself.  The distance of not knowing who he was prevented everything you wanted.

Sometimes, when you were lying in bed after Spider-Man left, wrapping yourself up in blankets to make up for the chilled feeling that lingered long after he was gone, you wondered if this was healthy.  If losing sleep to see the hero was what was best for you.  You couldn’t deny that it made you happy, but was it the only thing that could make you happy?  Surely, there were other people in the world that could hold you in their arms like Spider-Man did, talk to you like he did, kiss you like he did, and not have to leave before the sun rose without knowing where he was going to?  Or, better yet, actually being able to do these things during the day, when being with each other wasn’t a danger to your safety, a secret to be known by you two and the moon.  And, if you were being completely honest with yourself, you knew that there was someone who could do that.

After the day when he gave you his hoodie, you and Peter had grown closer.  He still walked you home after academic decathlon and AP chemistry, but he also walked you home on days when you had neither.  You had study sessions together in the library, and before big tests you would have snack breaks in the quad while you held up flash cards for one another.  Peter never pressured you to talk about the bank heist with Spider-Man after the stormy day—in fact, he never brought up Spider-Man at all.  You appreciated this fact, as people were still harassing you for information on the masked hero months after you had last seen him (at least, months after they knew you had last seen him).  With Peter, you didn’t have to worry about him getting injured and not letting you help him.  You didn’t have to worry about not being able to be seen together for your safety.  You didn’t feel abandoned every night when he dropped you off at your apartment building.  Instead, you just felt normal.  And normal was something you hadn’t truly felt in a long time.

 It was the middle of October when the comforting feeling of friendship that Peter gave you began to change into something else.  Looking back, it had always been evolving, from the day he had given you his hoodie to keep you warm, but this was the day when you first noticed it. In almost every way, it was a normal day.  You walked into AP physics after lunch, with Peter by your side, laughing at some joke that he had made about the book you were reading in English class.  When you reached your joint table, he pulled your chair out for you before pulling out his own and taking a seat.  You noticed the action with curiosity, as did Alex, who had been watching you two walk in with something gleaming in her eyes. Knowing Alex, whatever it was couldn’t be good.

“Y/N, Peter, I didn’t see you two at lunch,” She began, glancing between the both of you.

“Oh, Peter was just showing me his latest creation with the robotics club,” You smiled at Peter, whose cheeks reddened slightly. “It’s really cool, Alex, you should come see it sometime!”

“I’m sure it is. Hey, Peter,” Alex directed her words at the boy next to you. “How’s the Stark internship?”

“It’s—it’s good, yeah, thanks for asking,” Peter stumbled out quickly.

“Oh, okay, I was just wondering because it keeps you so busy all the time,” Alex’s smile grew. “But, lately, you and Y/N have been hanging out more and more!”

“Alex—” You began, but Peter cut you off.

“Well, Mr. Stark said it was important that I don’t lose out on, um, on being a teenager,” Peter shrugged. “Like, having friends, joining clubs, all that kind of stuff. And Y/N, um, is—is a very good friend to—to have.”

You smiled at Peter as the teacher entered the classroom, sufficiently silencing all the chatter around you.

 After school, Peter met you at your locker, his hands on his backpack straps as he smiled at you.

“Ready to go?” He asked breathlessly, as if he’d been running recently.

“Yeah, are you okay?” You furrowed your brow as you shut your locker. “You seem a little out of breath.”

“Hm?” Peter’s eyebrows raised. “Yeah, no, no, I’m—I’m fine!  I just had some, uh, something I had to do, for the Stark internship, that’s all!”

“Oh.” You and Peter began walking through the halls, exiting Midtown and making your way to the subway station.  You were halfway there before you spoke again.

“How come you never talk to me about the Stark internship?” You asked, your gaze pasted firmly on the ground.

You could practically hear Peter’s predictable shrug. “Um, I, uh, I don’t know.  It’s kind of…”

“Classified?” You gave a wry grin as you glanced back up at your friend.

Peter shook his head. “No, it’s not that.  Well, I guess it kind of is, but mostly, I don’t know…”

“What?” You asked as Peter trailed off.

“It’s just…” It was Peter’s turn to look at the ground. “I know everyone bugs you all the time about Spider-Man, and how much it annoys you—”

“I never said it annoyed me.”

“You didn’t have to, Y/N,” Peter glanced sideways at you. “And, I don’t know, I guess I just didn’t want to seem like—like I was bragging, or something.  Or, like, just trying to—to make up some random connection between us.  I’m not—I don’t want to trick or—or bribe you into being my friend.”

“Peter,” You reached down and grabbed his hand from where it swung between you, trying not to stare as a pretty blush spread over his face (you elected to ignore the sudden use of “pretty” to describe Peter Parker—no matter how well the adjective fit). “I like knowing what’s going on with you.  Telling me about your life isn’t tricking me into being your friend.”

“I—good to know,” Peter said weakly, his gaze flickering back and forth between the pavement and your entwined hands.

Your hands stayed together throughout the entire subway ride and the walk home.  When Peter dropped you off at your door (which he had been doing for the past few weeks, instead of parting ways at your individual streets), he was reluctant to let go of your hand.  You stood in front of your door, and, as his thumb rubbed the back of your hand, you realized that you didn’t want him to let go of it, either. Unsure of what to say, you just looked at Peter, who stared back at you with a kind of nervousness you had never seen in him before.  

“I should go,” You said after a moment, slowly retracting your hand from Peter’s.  He nodded, pursing his lips as you waved goodbye and stepped through your door, closing it behind you.

 That night, when Spider-Man showed up, you were prepared to ask him about his identity. You weren’t sure what had happened between you and Peter earlier in the day, but you felt like it had changed something.  Everything that bothered you about your relationship with Spider-Man was amazing in your friendship with Peter.  You were completely honest and open, and you didn’t have to feel like a secret with him; you wanted that same feeling with Spider-Man.

“Hi,” The masked hero said as he straightened up after swinging onto your fire escape.  He walked over to you and pulled his mask up slightly, kissing you quickly. “How was your day?”

“It was…” You sighed. “It was fine.”

Spider-Man frowned. “It doesn’t sound fine.  What’s wrong, Y/N?”

“I…” You took a deep breath, steeling yourself for the conversation ahead of you. “I think I—Spidey, I need to know who you are.”

Spider-Man’s face went slack and he took a step back from you. “Why…why do you need that?”

“Because I don’t know—” You bit your lip. “I honestly have no idea how much longer we’re going to be able to keep this up.  This—whatever this is between us?  You and I both know that it won’t last forever.”

Spider-Man breathed out slowly, his breath visible in the air.  He turned around, walking away for a moment, then turned back to you. “You know why I can’t tell you, Y/N.  I can’t—remember the bank?  We both know that would have been worse if people knew that I—how I feel about you.”

“I do remember the bank, and I remember that people not knowing about us still didn’t keep me from almost watching my friend get executed, nor did it keep me from being next.” You crossed your arms. “And I’m not asking for people to know about us. The only reason there is an us, the only reason there’s an affair between me and Spider-Man, is because I don’t know the identity of the person underneath the mask.  If I knew him, then we wouldn’t have to keep having midnight rendezvous.  If I knew the person underneath the mask, we could be like a normal couple.”

“The person underneath the mask is a lot different than the person I am when I’m with you!” Spider-Man’s cheeks (or what you could see of them) were flushed.

“That’s bullshit, and you know it!” You laughed incredulously. “Are you saying that—that for the past six months, you’ve been pretending to be someone else?”

“No, Y/N, but—” Spider-Man placed his hands on the back of his neck and looked up at the stars. “Why are you saying this now?  Is this not enough for you?  Am I—am I not enough for you?”

You swallowed hard, tears beginning to come to your eyes as you realized you knew the answers to all his questions.

Spider-Man’s gaze levelled back with your face, and he stepped towards you, placing one hand on your waist as the other hand came to rest on your cheek

“Am I not enough for you?” He asked again, softer this time.  His voice was almost a whisper through the mask, and you could hear the shakiness of it as he spoke.

You pressed your cheek into his hand.  Part of you wished you could keep the feeling of his touch on your skin forever, but a bigger part of you wished that it was his bare skin, instead of a glove.

“No,” You swallowed the lump in your throat again as the tears began to fall over the brim of your eyes. “You’re not.”

Spider-Man pressed his forehead against yours, breathing deeply. “Why not, Y/N?  I…I love you.  I thought that…maybe you loved me too.  Do you…do you not love me?”

“I don’t,” You whispered back.  You felt Spider-Man’s grip on your waist tighten. “I can’t, Spidey, I—I want to love you so much.  I do. But I can’t, not when I don’t know all of you.”

You closed your eyes as Spider-Man’s grip on your waist loosened.  You felt his other hand come to your cheek.

“I—” His voice wavered and he swallowed hard. “Everything I did, I did to keep you safe.  I’m sorry that…that not letting you fall in love with me was one of those things.”

You felt his lips press to your forehead, and when you opened your eyes, Spider-Man was gone.

{part VI}

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader - “Broken”

After you got shot in the head you were in a coma for a while. When you woke up you were quite broken and The Joker doesn’t like broken things. Getting rid of you seems like the perfect solution.

The Joker immediately turned when he heard the gunshot. You felt the sharp pain for a split second before you blacked out. J opened his mouth in disbelief, wanting to say something but for once he was speechless. He just stood there, stunned, watching Frost as he killed the security guard being heroic enough to attempt a small rebellion on his own.

“WHAT…THE FUCK??!!” The Joker’s voice finally echoed in the building while stomping towards you. Some of the hostages on the floor whimpered in fear, knowing that it won’t end well after what just happened.

“I thought you were watching everybody!” he pointed at his henchmen, mad as hell, kneeling so that he can turn you around. J saw the nasty bleeding head wound and he lost it:

“Kill everybody!! NOW!!!!” He lifted you and your arms went limp, hanging down on the sides of your body. “God dammit! Frost, let’s go, you drive!!” Blood started soaking his purple coat and he squeezed you closer to him, trying to wake you up.

“Hey, Princess, open your eyes! Open your eyes!“ No answer came and he took a deep breath, grinding his teeth, not even discerning the screams coming from the slaughter happening behind him.

He got in the back of the van with you and realized he wasn’t even wearing a shirt that night.

“Frost, give me your jacket!” he impatiently demanded and wrapped it around your head as soon as he got it. Jonny started driving and the Joker kept on wiping the blood off your face with his bare hands, not realizing he got all over his cheeks and hair too. “Baby doll, can you hear me? Don’t make Daddy mad; open your eyes, hm?”  he kept on trying to reason with you, nervously biting his lips.

“Where to, Boss?” Frost shouted, driving so fast he was afraid he will get unwanted attention, the last thing that was needed that night.

“Our doctor, Frosty, where else???!! “ The Joker snapped back at him, irritated about the question. “I don’t care who else we need to get, I want her fixed!... I don’t like…b-broken things…” he muttered the last words to himself, stammering with anxiety, still trying to clean you up.

*** You were in surgery for 10 hours. It was a clean wound, the bullet wasn’t inside: it pierced the left side of your head, above your ear, slightly under the skin surface which was very lucky but still created quite a lot of damage and brain hemorrhage. The best doctors that Gotham’s underworld uses were brought in to help you. J didn’t care about the money they asked or the supplies needed. What was he going to do with all his possessions if his Queen was dead?  It wouldn’t matter, it would be no fun.

The Joker was told there was no way to know when you will wake up or if there will be any nerve damage following your recovery. They didn’t have the courage to tell him you might never wake up. Afterwards, you were taken to the penthouse and one of the spare bedrooms was transformed into your own medical ward. The doctors took turns in coming and checking up on you, changing your bandages, updating your IV medications and the blood tests were coming back pretty good, except for the fact that you wouldn’t wake up.

Since J couldn’t sleep without you, he moved the bed in the master bedroom to your room, this way he could at least doze off for a few hours. All those beeping noises from those machines you were hooked at annoyed him to death but he learned to ignore them after a few days.

The Joker talked to you all the time, sometimes falling asleep waiting for an answer that never came. Most of the times he was answering for you.

* “Hey, Y/N, do you remember when you told me you were pregnant and I panicked, almost pushed you off the balcony? Lucky you told me you were joking before I did it, huh? “ and he started laughing maniacally, ending it with a deep growl, pleased at the memory. “Good times, Doll…”

* “Oh my God, I’m so bored!” He would roll his blue eyes in your face.” Would you wake up, Pumpkin? Let’s have some fun, I’ll take you for a ride. Wanna blow up something? Hmmm? Deal?” J cupped your face, caressing it with his thumbs until he got fed up with that too. “Jeez, Doll, why are you doing this to me?” he would finally rest his head on your tummy, pouting, not liking the fact that you were still like that after 3 weeks.

* “Princess, do you remember when I got angry and I shot you in the leg and you stabbed me? You were soooo pissed,” he snickered, kissing your hand. “We almost killed each other that day.” His crazy laughter filled the room again. “Ahhhh, good times, Doll…” he sighed, delighted at that treasured remembrance.

* J thought you need more tattoos, it was about time he gave you another one. He tattooed “Wake Up” all around your right hand wrist, like a bracelet, and a lot of “I love J” and “Sleepy Head” going up your arm just like bracelet charms . “You like it, Pumpkin?” he brought it closer to your face and when you didn’t react he just replied, proud of himself: “I think I did really good.”

* He pushed the girl he brought from the club inside and she was so scared she was shaking like a leaf.

“ Y/N, if you don’t wake up in 5 seconds, I’m getting a new girlfriend!” J shove her right on your bed. “ 5,4,3,2… 2 and a half…1…one and a half…Doll, come on!!!... Zero!”  Nothing. “Get the hell out of here!” he pushed the girl and she run out of the room so fast she almost fell when she opened the door. “Shit, that didn’t work,” he passed his fingers through his green hair, sulking. Another week went by.

* The Joker brought in a target matt and hanged it on the wall in front of you. He liked to place his gun in your hand, holding it with his, aim and shoot at the target. “Perfect, Y/N, this way you don’t lose practice. You’re such a good girl,” he would kiss your knuckles, smiling and then frowning when he realized you didn’t even know he was there.

* First time you opened your eyes was after 4 more weeks. It was late at night and J was on his laptop,still awake, looking at all the naughty pics you always sent him. He noticed the movement and jumped out of bed, not really believing you’re awake.

“Jesus, Princess, it was about time! I’m sooo horny,” he whispered in your ear and grinned when he noticed your chest going up and down in a silent, faint laughter.

“…My… poor… baby…” you barely uttered, struggling to reach his pale face and he purred, relieved, firmly holding your shaky fingers on his cheek since you couldn’t do it on your own. “…What…happened?...”

*************************

At first, you had a really hard time using your left side of the body. You had bad days and good days. On your bad days you used one of J’s canes to walk around. He used to hide it and watch you struggle, scoffing:

“You don’t need a cane, Doll. Just walk, you’re fine!”

You held on to the wall, fighting really hard to keep your balance.

“I do need it, give it back!”

“Nope,” he simply stated, observing you from the couch until you got to your old room where he still kept the target matt so you can practice shooting again. It almost brought you to tears when you kept on missing; such an embarrassment for a skilled assassin. But it was so hard to control your left hand that kept on trembling. The Joker always sneaked to watch you since you kept the door opened and it made him uneasy to see you were so distressed. And it made him even tenser when he noticed he still liked his broken Doll.

First time you were able to have sex again after your recovery was… challenging. (And to be honest, many more times afterwards.)

He started complaining after 5 minutes :

“Christ, Y/N, your hand is twitching around my neck, it’s freaking me out! Stop it!” and he kissed you again, annoyed.

“Well, baby, I can’t control it, you know that! Especially when I get…excited,” you panted, adjusting your head on the pillow.

“Why are you excited?” J snickered. “Hey, keep your legs around my waist, you know I like it,” he moaned in your ear, kissing his way down your neck.

“I can’t, my left leg keeps on sliding down, I can’t even feel it anymore. I’m sorry, baby,” you arched your back, giggling, amused on how worked up he was about it.

“Can you get on your knees, Doll?”

“I doubt it,” you fakely sobbed, wanting him to shut up and make love to you.

“Can you get on top of me?”

A snarl coming from you gave him the answer.

“Can we do it against the wall?”

You slapped his side, aggravated.

“Jeez, woman, what can you do?!” You covered his mouth, impatient.

“I’m just gonna lay here, ok? That’s all I can offer for now. I’m…helpless so you can totally take advantage of me,” you winked, uncovering his lips so you can kiss him.

“Hmm, I never took advantage of a …ummm…incapacitated person before,” The Joker smirked, suddenly liking the idea.

“Good, because I thought you like challenges,” you laughed, content he is finally satisfied.

“Ohhh, Daddy never backs out from a challenge, Pumpkin,” he gave you that devilish look and pulled your hair while pinning your hands above your head. “This way you don’t freak me out with your twitchy hand.”

“Jerk…” you moaned, lifting your head so you can kiss his Jester tattoo.

“You wait until you see what Daddy has in store for you and then we’ll talk about it...yes?” he closed his eyes, enjoying feeling you again. It made him so ecstatic.

************************

After 3 more months you are better, but not fully recovered.

He tosses his gun on the floor and urges you to get it.

“Come on, Princess, be sexy for me. Bend over and grab that gun! I’ll pay you!” and he pushes the pile of hundred dollars from his desk on the floor. 

“Are you serious?” you lift your gaze from your phone, not knowing if he meant it or not. You’ve been fighting a lot recently and his behavior towards you changed.

“Yes, do it,” he hums, putting the map aside and rolling away on his chair so he can see you better.

“ ‘Kaaayyyy,” you do as asked, and half way through your left leg gives out and you land on your knees.

“Wow, that’s pathetic!” he hisses, and you feel your face burning. “Seriously, I don’t even know why I keep you around: you’re crippled, you can’t kill for me, you’re not great in bed anymore and I’m sick of waiting for you to recover. As you are fully aware, I don’t like broken things, hence it’s time for you to go,” J barks at you and you just watch him, stunned.

“W-what are you talking about?! I’m so much better and I am getting better. I AM NOT crippled!” you almost yell, struggling to get on your feet, not understanding what’s going on.

“You’re useless, that’s what you are!” The Joker raises his voice, having a hard time controlling his temper. “I want you out of here!”

“Are you serious?!” you ask, furrowing your eyebrows, thinking about his cold behavior lately. That’s why, he’s just sick of you.   “After…all these years?”

He sarcastically grunts, crossing his arms on his chest:

“Is that supposed to mean anything to me?! OUT! Don’t make me repeat myself; you can stay tonight so you can sort out the things you want to take.”

“I…I don’t need anything, I have my own stuff,” you reply, backing out slowly, trying to swallow the lump in your throat and maintain your equilibrium.

“God, you’re soooo pitiful, still can’t control your body. How am I even supposed to be with someone like you?! The King of Gotham needs perfection, not trash.”

You gasp, feeling your heart beating faster and faster.

“I am the Queen of Gotham, with or without you, not trash!”  

“Used to be Queen, Doll, now look at you: just another lost cause. Don’t test my patience, get out of here.” He points out towards the elevator.  “ Awwww, are those tears? You never cry. I told you you’re pathetic and broken, this proves what I just said.”

You shake your head, turning around and limping towards the elevator, tripping on the carpet because your bad leg is misbehaving. You hear him laugh: “Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha! So useless!”

You swallow your tears all the way down when your cell rings. You see it’s your informant and you answer right away:

“When Mister J is going to his “Savage” club tonight, it will be an ambush: Sully’s men; they’ll try to kill him. Pass the word.”

“Thank you, Axel,” you mumble, turning off your phone and placing back in your pocket.

I am not telling him anything, the jerk deserves anything coming his way! You decide as you reach the basement’s garage and the elevator’s door open. Let them kill him.

****************************

First thing you do when you get to your apartment is wash away the neon green highlights from your bright red hair. It makes you feel better until the little thoughts pop in your mind: “Are you going to let them kill him?”, “Yes, I don’t care.” “But…it’s J.” “I really don’t care; his men can protect him if they can.” “But…it’s J.”

“Ughhhh,” you cover your face with the small pillow, attempting to erase any feelings you might have from your conscience. “But…it’s J…Come on, it’s J…” the idea keeps on repeating and echoing in your mind until you get up from the loveseat, exasperated.

“Shit, fine, I’m going, just shut the hell up!” you admonish yourself, looking in the mirror. “The asshole doesn’t deserve me…” you conclude, getting the duffle bag with your rifle out of the closet.

************************

You go and place yourself on the top of the tallest building, about half a mile away from “Savage”. You watch everything through the scope, but so far nothing out of place. Your left hand is shaky again and you put so much effort into controlling it you’re starting to sweat. “Not now, please” you reason with your weak side of the body, cracking your neck. Another two hours pass by and you finally see The Joker’s Lamborghini approaching followed by 3 SUV’s.

You wipe your forehead and concentrate more, looking around carefully as he parks and gets out of the car. Suddenly, you see the four men in black suits, wearing running shoes and you know it’s them: Sully’s men trademark attire. They approach from different angles and you wait until they are fairly close to the Joker and his henchmen. They noticed the assassins too and surrounded J, protecting him. He takes out his gun, waiting, and he watches as suddenly one by one they fall to the ground, their brains splattered on the concrete.

He lifts his eyes, searching the buildings around as his goons get him to his car so he can safely leave. Three more assassins start running towards his Lamborghini and you shot again, the last one collapsing right in front of the Joker’s car. He looks up, but he sure doesn’t have the right building you’re on top of. He knows it’s you and bites on his cheek, growling, taking off with his men before the cops show up.

You wipe your forehead, exhausted, resting your head on the trigger:

“I’m not pathetic and broken.”     Did you want to prove that to him or yourself? Probably both.

****************************

J drove straight back to the penthouse, laying low for the rest of the night. He gets in bed, trying to sleep and can’t because you’re not there. He looks at your empty side of the bed and moves over, burring his face in your pillow-it smells like you. Another hour and he’s still awake, tossing and turning.

“I don’t like broken things,” he whispers, opening his eyes just to see your items scattered all over the bedroom since you didn’t take anything with you. It really makes uncomfortable realizing he feels the exact opposite of not liking you. Or so he believes.

“I really don’t like broken things,” he gets mad, exasperated, forcing himself not to think of anything.

*****************************

The sound of your cane hitting the wood floor startles you and you wake up, leaning over so you can reach and turn on the lamp. You see The Joker kicking it again, and again.

“Stupid piece of crap!” he shouts, his green hair all over his face.

“What are you doing here?!” you rub your eyes, not glad to see him at all. “Get out!”

He just comes over and yanks at your hand:

“Let’s go, Doll, you’re coming back, I can’t sleep without you.”

“Screw you!” you pull back, upset he broke into your apartment and has the nerve to act like nothing happened.

“Yes, you can do that too, you naughty girl, I know you can’t wait,” he tries to yank you away again.

The evil glare you give him makes him stop and he regains his posture, sighing:

“You’re coming back; you know I can’t sleep without you.”

“I don’t care!!!!” you cover your body with the blanket like it’s going to help any. He sees your watery eyes and decides to drop it.

“Fine, then I’ll sleep here.” He goes around the bed and gets under the blanket, scooting over so he can be close to you. “Now shut up, I have to sleep, I’m tired as hell!” He places his head on your pillow, waiting for you to get down and join him. You watch him with indignation, sniffling, and kick him:

“Get out of my apartment!”

The Joker ignores your behavior and decides to talk with his eyes closed:

“I don’t like broken things…”

“I’m not a broken thing you presumptuous …” you start your rant, getting ready to kick him again when he interrupts:

“…but you’re my favorite thing. Good, I thought that would shut you up,” he grins, forcefully pulling you in his arms as you struggle to escape. “Ahhhhh, I like it when you’re feisty. Queens are feisty…” he nuzzles in your hair for a few seconds then pecs your lips and holds you tighter. “Don’t think I didn’t notice your green highlights are gone. They’ll be back first thing in the morning, got it?”

“You can’t tell me what to do!” you try to make a comeback but he cuts you short again:

“The hell I can’t! Now shut up, I’m so worn out,” he gets your left leg around his waist and holds it, this way you’re glued to him. “There, I know you can’t hold it yourself.”

When you don’t answer he opens one eye and sees you stare at him with that hurt expression on your face that makes him uneasy.

“Stop it, Pumpkin, I really need to rest,” J kisses your forehead and you whimper, upset:

“You’re such a jerk.”

“Pffft,” he scoffs, “is that supposed to be news to me? Now zip it and I mean it,” he scolds you, annoyed.

“Jerk…” you faintly mumble before closing your eyes.

He just smiles, knowing he will finally be able to doze off.

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