#ive been trying to read vampire stuff but honestly a lot of recent ones ive read you can

[k--havok]

Does anyone have any book rec's with vampires who actually need to drink human blood?

I'm good with any genre but not in the mood for comedy/romcom

[n7punk]

OK I WAS THINKING WDTFD TOO IT IS CRIMINALLY UNDERRATED AND ive literally been spending more time than necessary trying to figure out why, because I would argue it is one of your best and one of the most unique out there in general. You can ignore me if you want but I have a Theory (gonna mark myself with this emoji ⚡️ so you know it’s me)

this is... an absolutely fascinating theory XD i have no clue, to be honest, and always just put it down to 1) being a busy time of year (tho thematically appropriate) when maybe people weren't reading a lot of fic then so it never got that established, and 2) me going dark for a month afterwards while i worked on my novel, resulting in less content to bump me up in the ao3 tag (or on people's dashboards) that might make people check what i'd just done, or help them notice they missed a fic right before it (i have people comment on a new fic all the time being like "OH SHIT i missed the last one, time to binge!").

its interesting to get an outside perspective, because for me personally i notice jumps in interaction around a few fics (knifepoint for example) but i never really attributed a spike to BFM. i was really shocked when i recently saw beg for me was ranked 24th in hit count for she-ra fics (its worth noting that both slas and asdlm rank higher than it, but i also remember lots of engagement with both of those - especially asdlm, there was so much fanart). i dont remember a lot about what was going on when i was writing bfm, so i just assumed it... wasnt a lot XD but apparently it left an impression.

(actually, i did just remember i had anon off while writing BFM because i didnt want people getting Too Horny and crossing into creepy, and that probably had a big effect on the interaction i got and my perception of it)

as far as the smut thing... honestly, no clue, although you might be onto something with vampires being generally slutty (and rightfully so) and WDtFD being lore-focused. i feel like im reluctant to say fics without smut dont do as well, but i think that it might be true and i just dont want to acknowledge it XD i do think that, as far as rating goes, T and E do better than M because... if you dont want smut, you go T, and if you want it, you go E, you know? M is this middle ground i enjoy, but people tend not to be on middle ground with smut XD

i have no clue, but it was fun reading theories, and thank you for the enthusiasm for a fic i really love! to be honest i think if i wrote it a year before it might have been smuttier.... but the idea was also a year old and never had anything but that one scene in it, even if that scene was originally a bit more explicit, so idk. i do tend to go in cycles and whatever i did after beg for me needed to be smut-light because writing beg for me took a lot of time/energy XD see lotd following knifepoint, as well

i really loved crafting a lore fic, i had a whole outline where i tracked what had been hinted at and in what ways, what had been revealed so far, what i still needed to foreshadow/explain, etc, because there was so much stuff i wanted to imply and then reveal, and im realllllly happy with the finished product, so thank you for the love! <3

[carry-on-my-wayward-imagines]

Hope

Anonymous said: So I saw this quote today and I was wondering if you could do a Dean/reader oneshot based off it? “You don’t know you’ve fallen for someone until after it happens.”

Anonymous said: Hi! First off, I’m addicted to your writing, it’s so good! I was wondering if you could do one where the reader confesses her love to Dean and he doesn’t feel the same way, but after a few weeks/months he starts to fall for her? Whether or not the reader takes him at the end is up to you :) Thank you so much! <3

@-sidetracked- said: Can we make this like, a dean story please where like dean is in love with the reader and he isn’t supposed to be so he tried to forget like all the memories and stuff but she still comes around for Sam and cas and Charlie so he can’t and it’s really hard for him

A/N: It’s been so long...so long, but finally it’s here. Hope y’all like it. 

Word count: 2,352

Pairing: Dean x reader.

Warnings: a bit of drinking.

“Let Go” series: Part I, II, III, IV, V

Theme song: Someone New - Hozier

“Let Go” Series Spotify Playlist

Your name: submit What is this?

--------

You paced nervously, looking down at your outfit. It was a simple black dress with long sleeves, a washed-out denim jacket, and a pair of comfortable tennis shoes. After all, you weren’t doing anything fancy, just a walk around the park and dinner at a nearby place after that. And even though you knew the sports bar wouldn’t be high class, you couldn’t help but feel underdressed. Or maybe overdressed? It was too complicated.

It had taken you so long to get this date, you couldn’t ruin it. You smiled to yourself reassuringly, grabbing your small bag and glancing at your outfit once again before walking out of your room.

Dean could always tell who was walking into the room by their footsteps. Sam was quiet despite his size, Cas awkward at times, but you were confident. He heard you before he saw you, noting the spring in your step as you walked into the Bunker’s library. He glanced up from his book, breath instantly taken away. You looked gorgeous.

“What do you think?” you asked, glancing at him and then at Sam, who also looked up at you. “It’s my first time dressing up in a while.”

“You look great, as always,” Dean smiled, grabbing the keys that had been tossed on the table and standing up. “Ready go?”

“Absolutely,” you replied, fighting your heart as it jumped happily with Dean’s compliment.

“Have fun,” Sam called out as you walked away with his brother. He was happy for you.

You watched your shadow along the walls and floors of the Bunker silently, comfortably walking with a humming Dean toward the Impala. He opened up the door for you, as always, before settling in on the driver’s seat and bringing his baby to life.

“Thanks for driving me tonight,” you mentioned as you buckled your seatbelt. “Soo-jin and I were aching to get a spa day. She doesn’t know what I do, but it wasn’t hard for her to see that I could use it.”

“No problem, Y/N. I promise I’ll fix up your car soon enough, too.”

You suddenly remembered the last time Dean fixed your car, wearing jeans and black t-shirt that hugged his arms in all the right places, and the grease stains that somehow got everywhere. It was a good memory, but not something you needed at the moment.

You watched the bright sky illuminating the empty fields and occasional houses on the countryside, feeling the Impala rumble under you. Spring was slowly turning into summer, and the once-green grass of Kansas began to slumber off, giving up to a yellow color under the intense heat all around you. You thanked Mother Nature for her grace today, keep it a cool 80 degrees. Maybe it wasn’t a true coolness, but it would be as good as it got at 5 P.M. for a long time.

More houses began to appear after a while, and you trusted Dean’s current mixtape to keep your nerves down. But the scent of his cologne and shampoo didn’t do any good. You stole glances at him every now and then, but he remained focused on the road. Of course, he noticed your head turning, but kept it to himself for later. Despite your nonchalant acting around him, he had hope.

Those thoughts soon evaporated as he listened to you give him directions around town, streets winding up confusingly as you arrived to a nearby town. You saw the name of the sports bar pop up on your map, close by the salon. You got there rather quickly, considering the traffic on the streets, and with nerves pooling in your stomach as Dean parked in front of the salon. The guilt began sinking into you.

It shouldn’t have mattered, of course, that you were going on a date. It had been months since Dean’s accident, and although you were not a bit over him, you still knew that he would be awkward about the subject of you dating. As any brother would, you thought. He’d always been weird when you mentioned any guys, it was something that he and Sam didn’t want details of, and quite honestly, you never really had many details to share. How could anyone give you better memories than Dean, even if he was nothing more than a friend?

But Neal seemed nice, at least you got that from the phone call and texts you’d shared. You still couldn’t remember the night at the bar at all, just seeing him and giggling together with Soo-jin, but everything else was faded, like looking through the end of a glass bottle. Drinks and laughter mixed together, small touches and the smell of alcohol close to your nostrils. And Dean. There was always Dean, even if you ended up not hanging out with him that much.

It shouldn’t have mattered, but it did. Because Dean had been your best friend before, and now, as he looked at you with a smile, you could feel your heart tear a bit. You couldn’t lie to him, he’d be able to tell. All of those midnight conversations, your rides shared on the Impala, and pies cooked at the break of dawn had brought you closer to him than anyone else, even if your interactions were limited now. He could read you better than anyone.

“Thanks for the ride,” you forced yourself to say, looking down as you fixed your outfit, hoping he wouldn’t notice your stress. You had to convince him that you were simply going into the salon. “I’m having dinner with Soo-jin so I’ll just take a cab after, that sound okay?”

“Of course, sweetheart,” he said. Your heart fluttered. “Call me if you need me to pick you up, though. I’m here for anything.”

You found yourself wishing that was true in different ways. With a last smile and a quick goodbye, you got out of the car, waving at him and reassuring him you carried something silver and some holy water.

A deep breath later, you found yourself walking past the salon, locating the park just a street away. It was small, but nice. There was a fountain at the center, happy streams of water jumping and dancing around in it. The trees swayed with a cool breeze, but even then you began to question your outfit under the sun. You sat on the concrete of the fountain, looking at your phone and re-reading the text messages to make sure you were in the right place.

“Y/N,” you suddenly heard your name being called out.

He was just as your tipsy memory remembered; tanned flawless skin, charming smile, and toned arms. He was dressed more casually now, but even the khaki shorts and Columbia University shirt looked impressive. He held a black leash in his hand, which travelled all the way down to a cheerful labrador.

“Neal,” you smiled, standing up. His dog, Creek, circled around you, tail playfully wagging as you rubbed the top of his head. “I didn’t imagine your puppy would be so freaking adorable.”

“He’s definitely not a puppy,” Neal laughed.

“All dogs are puppies,” you challenged, teasingly glaring at him. Dean might’ve said the same thing. Kneeling down, you let Creek give you a couple kisses while you kept on petting him. “Aren’t you, cutie pie? Little pumpkin of adorableness?”

“I knew he’d be a good wingman,” Neal joked, offering his hand to help you up. “Trust me, he gets spoiled at home. If we don’t walk him then he’ll be troublesome later.”

You reluctantly stood up, accepting his hand. It was less calloused than your own, but firm. However, it also felt nothing like Dean’s, and his touch didn’t make you feel the same sparks as Dean’s. Trying to push that to the back of your head, you followed his pace with Creek, making small conversation as you went.

He was a lawyer, but went around the state taking cases, so he wasn’t home much. Creek was two years old, and as his name hinted, he had been found in a creek in one of the cities Neal travelled to once. His favorite toys were the squeaky kind, and he was trained to do many things, including playing dead. You found yourself asking a lot of questions about Creek.

“I had a dog growing up,” you explained as an apology, “but after that I just...sort of wound up moving a lot and never had the chance the get another pupper.”

“I get it. It was hard at first to get him used to moving around with me, but now he does a lot better,” Neal said, scratching Creek’s back as he walked. “So, Y/N, what do you do that makes you travel, too?”

“Umm,” you muttered, panicking. You hadn’t thought about this, of course he would ask. “I work in nursing, just traveling when I feel like I’m needed. It’s not more than a couple weeks at a time though.”

You weren’t completely lying, you tried to reason. You did act as a nurse for Sam and Dean; you just didn’t have to mention that it was after hunting down ghost or vampires or whatever else you found. But Neal bought it, nodding and mentioning he had thought about that while he was in school.

After a couple laps around the park, you hinted at dinner, knowing your dress wouldn’t be dry for much longer under the unavoidable rays of the sun. Thankfully the bar provided some water for Creek, and you got a seat by the window so you could keep an eye on him as you ate. The wings and lemonade kept you happy, intently listening to Neal as he spoke about his most recent case. And soon enough, the lemonade turned into a fruity drink or two, maybe a couple shots when you challenged him to it.

It was still before 8 when you left the bar, needing to take Creek home, and you heading in the same direction. You carried a water bottle with you as you walked outside with Neal. He lived a couple streets away, and you offered to walk along with him as you sobered up.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you home?” Neal asked for the third time as you approached his house. It was a one-story, with a spacious front yard (and you guessed back yard, too).

“You’re a lawyer, smart guy,” you laughed, following him to the front porch. “Even if we’re only a little tipsy, I live 40 minutes away and I’d rather not risk it.”

He threw his hands up, taking a set of keys out of his pocket and opening the door. Creek immediately rushed in, pacing around and then settling on his bed. You smiled at Neal as he walked in after you, closing the door behind him. He poured you another glass of water while you borrowed his phone and got an Uber, his smile never losing its charm.

When you stepped outside again, a driver waiting for you in the front, you couldn’t help but pet Creek one more time before hesitantly saying goodnight to Neal.

“Hey,” he said, grabbing your wrist before you left. Still no sparks. “I really enjoyed tonight.”

“I did, too,” you replied. At least that wasn’t a lie.

“I’m gonna be out of town for a while next Monday, but we could do lunch or something before I leave,” he suggested. You nodded along, and before you could really take in what was happening, Neal was leaning down.

I’m sorry, Dean, was the last thought on your mind as your closed your eyes and stood on your toes to meet him.

----

“Well, at least now I know that you’re alive,” Dean’s angry voice reached your ears.

You locked the Bunker’s door behind you, ignoring the look you knew he was giving you from the bottom of the stairs.

“I’m sorry, I forgot to charge my phone beforehand,” you replied, sighing.

You got a good look at Dean when you came down. He had his arms crossed, a look of concern and annoyance etched into the crinkles of his face. Your heart still warmed at the brightness of his green eyes, but shame and guilt mixed in with the warmth.

“You couldn’t have borrowed someone else’s phone?”

“I didn’t think about it,” you muttered. You really hadn’t, at least not to call. “Dean, can you just stop this interrogation? I wanna go change and shower.”

Dean tried to hold back, but he couldn’t. For some reason, he had been nervous as he dropped you off. He could tell that you weren’t being completely truthful with him. He was aching to tell you how he felt about you, but knowing that you were keeping something from him made him mad. Especially when he had called and texted to make sure you were okay, but you never replied.

“Oh yeah, get that smell of alcohol off of you,” he said.

“What’s with you?” you narrowed your eyes. Your heart began to drum faster as you confronted Dean. “I’m not a teenager, you can’t tell me that I can’t drink alcohol on a night out.”

“I was worried about you, Y/N. I even doubt you were with Soo-jin,” he confessed. You tried to keep yourself calm, to not let him see more of your lies.

“Well you shouldn’t be,” you shrugged. “And you’re not my dad or my boyfriend, so why do you care?”

You knew why he cared, it was a stupid question to ask, but you didn’t him a chance to saying anything else as you marched past him. You knew he heard the shake in your voice as you said “boyfriend.” Of course, even a date and a kiss later, you were not one bit over him. Not one bit.

And as Dean watched you walk away, he realized the same thing. You were still not over him, as much as you pretended. He still had a chance.

Of course, he knew nothing of the texts you sent later that night.

tagged: 

@blingernoah, @homework-is-the-real-killer, @revyjerry, @grace-for-sale, @tombraidertussi, @castiels-imprinted-angel, @justacinnamonroll, @justastarryeyedgirl, @popeyesqueen, @thecrazyenthusiast, @stephyvqz, @whoxian, @womanizerbucky, @i-wish-i-could-be-peter-pan, @gsbmpsxlkwy, @collinssie, @gabavaldman, @thefallenbibliophilequote, @itsjaybro16, @dxrylswalker, @swiggitysammy, @tardis-is-mine, @slightlyspicyyy, @nocsa, @sarahstinson, @bookwormpunk, @kathrynxox333, @lauriij666, @marinasmth, @britasaurhxc, @cookie-dough-lova, @miller1967winchester, @literal-stardust, @jerkbitchidjitassbutt, @supernatural-crazed890, @olivia3aivilo-blog, @deangirl7695, @sirenrayne, @sakura-storm-blog, @shut-your-face-and-get-in-the-car, @naturalbornsnickerdoodle @akshi8278 @justanotherdogperson

[briteboy]

okay i’m gonna be real with you. i have...a LOT...of messages. going as far back as like...january? probably? i know...i’m so bad...don’t crucify me. i tried to get through all of them but there were a lot that i didn’t have a worthwhile reply for so i’m sorry if i didn’t answer something you sent :{

so here we have: a lot of nice things, a lot of santisms, reactions to the lou and cillian punchout, a few responses to my portfolio and other stuffs...i wanted to put astrology asks in at the end but it’s...a lot more than i thought it was and it’s 3 am so i’d rather die than answer all of those LMAO sorry. i’ll get to it next time

Anonymous said:

u can delete the snorting cum asks but it will still follow you for eternity

okay so I saw the ask about snorting cum and it reminded me of a time that cum came out of my nose. It was gross but my boyfriend and I laughed it off. idk. I thought it would be a funny thing to share!! i'd understand if you didn't want this on your blog!! (maybe it makes you laugh!!)

wELL. WE’RE OFF TO A GOOD START HERE. i’m screaming at this...i hope nothing EVER comes out of my nose ever in life...i hate this but ur right it did make me laugh

(Winry anon again) Also, did you get her name from FMA Winry Rockbell because if so I love it

hehe...yes...

hornybodies

this is what bartsim calls me and i hate her for it

whats the truth bitch

I DON’T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT THIS IS ABOUT BUT I’M LAUGHIGN

i never realised how much i actually missed santi but now im CRYING AND I WANT HIM BACK IN EVERY SINGLE POST WITH LOU BY HIS SIDE LIVING HAPPILY EVER AFTER PLEASE

I missed santirat's beautiful face there are literal tears rn

me too...i hate that i miss him so much it’s so freaking dumb...i haven’t cried to my own story in a while but i bet i’m gonna once santi’s comeback rolls around. i’m already bracing myself

nvm u can have the lovely rat back, that way my heart wouldn’t be hurting like it is now

honestly yeah that’s fair

Been silently following your blog and though I'm more of a "ghost"(? What does that even mean¿) follower, I can't help but express just how chocked I am to see Santi again OMG. Gutted Lou has had a flashback, she does not deserve this. :'(

hello casper the friendly ghost...i love having santi pop up with surprise flashbacks hehe...ur right though she DOES NOT NEED THIS in her life, but it will get better for her soon do not fret my ghoulish friend

I need more pics of Lou and Santi together I’m not satisfied, thankssss

ELI AND MIYU GETTING SO EXCIted WHEN LOU TOLD THEM SHE LIKES GIRLS MY HEART :’)

HEHEH i love it cause that’s literally how my friends and i act, it was fun to write in a scene :~} i’m glad you liked it :’}}

Yeah when I cut my hair short everyone assumed I liked girls I found it kind of odd, but I didn't care too much. It mostly just made me end up realizing all the shit lgbt people go through, one time a guy literally went up to me and my friend, my bff who no one really knew was a lesbian was terrified because he said "oh dont worry lesbians are hot, but gay guys are just disgusting" it ended up he was talking to me, i just rolled up a piece of paper as tight as I could and smacked him on the head

EWW first of all that guy can take his weird fetishization and homophobia elsewhere thanks...i’m glad you threw a paper ball at him LMAO. but yeah on one hand, coming from ignorant/straight people it’s like “uhhhh why would you assume that about me”, within the lgbt community it’s like...common ground...an inside joke...i guess? so it’s weird. the link between hair, clothes and sexuality is can definitely be harmful in certain circumstances

fiona is my spirit animal and i love her ok thanks for coming to my TED Talk

that was illuminating thank you

i re-read santis story and i s2g i've read it so many times idk, but like its so easy to read i dont mean like emotionally but it flows really well. and like its not too confusing i hate when people make overly convoluted stories in an excuse for being deep its some good shit good job my dude

AKJSDKGKSJD THAT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i never expected anyone to read it oNCE let alone REPEATEDLY...that really makes me so happy though because it’s definitely something you have to go back and read to catch all the details. ahhhhh thank you so much, i never ever want my story to be too complicated so i’m glad you don’t think it is!!

im crying because your recent post reminds me so much of my relationship with my mom when i was younger... she was always out of a job and sometimes we had to resort to living with other family members, it was all really hard on her and especially with having a kid she had to take care of at the same time. even though these are fictional characters, it’s comforting to know that other people have gone through the same situations i have. i love fiona and lou so much, they’re my heart and soul <3

OMG ;_________; i’m crying i’m so glad it resonates with you...i had a lot of friends growing up who were in similar situations and i think i kinda based lou and fi’s relationship on that, so you’re definitely not alone <33 i’m so glad you love them i love u

basically what I’ve learned from these asks is that Gianni is a perfect god-like human and I want one

he is. one time an anon told me they were like santi but they wanted to be rooney and i was like “i’m both santi and rooney on different days and i want to be gianni.” now u know why

hi, i just wanted to pop in and say that i really, really love your blog and i admire your editing skills SO much, i think you are EXTREMELY talented and i don't think you get told that enough. i've been following you for awhile now and i am in love with ALL of your stories, characters and edits you've put out! you're really an inspiration to me and i hope someday my edits can turn out as good as yours!! i don't have reshade so it's harder for me, but i'm trying to learn!! ok have a good day :-)

OMFG ;-; I DO GET TOLD IT A LOT AND IT STILL SEEMS FAKE...you don’t have to go out of your way to compliment me ;___; but thank you so so so much i’m crying...it makes me so giddy that i might inspire someone like WHAT...i don’t even know what i’m doing half the time i edit so u will definitely be able to catch up to me one day even if you don’t have reshade, i know it. i edited without reshade for like 2 and a half years on this blog so you can do it i promise!! have a good day/night/life i love u

fuck my succ

I'm in need of some giannti in my life

we all need some gianti in our lives

Hey! I just wanted to say that ur an amazing writer. You portray everything so well, it’s insane. I want to be a writer someday and I hope my writing is at least somewhat close to yours. Have an awesome day my dude💕

WOW I’M CRYING...i still have a lot of room to grow and so do you, i hope you are able to become the writer you want to be :’} and thank you so much for the wonderful compliment i’m emo have a great day as well

aver is my queen, confirmed.

avey is everyone’s queen confirmed

oksy but listen, look up the model Charlotte Ray Spencer

i did but i couldn’t find her?? all that came up was ray spencer obituaries in charlotte, SC LMFAO...charlotte spencer is an actress tho it seems, is that...who...? omfg

MAY I JUST OFFER THIS NEW SONG OF THE NEIGHBOURHOOD CALLED VOID BC I HAVE A FEELING SANTI WOULD LOVE IT (it's also meant for my aggressive sadboi oc)

OH I LOVE THIS IT FITS PERFECTLY WITH THE PLAYLIST I’M MAKING FOR THE NEW ERA OF SANTI...THANK YOU I’M TOTALLY ADDING IT

I had a ectopic pregnancy when I was seventeen but I feel like I got off lightly compared to Molly. Your story is so beautiful in so many ways, I think it’s incredible how much character development you’ve managed to pull off honestly I’m amazed. Thank you ❤️

omg ;_______; i don’t even know what to say to this, but it means so much to me i can’t even put it into words. thank you thank you thank you so much, and i’m so sorry you had to go through that as well. molly was an extreme case and i hope no one has to go through what she went through. i’m glad you’re okay now, and thank you so much for reaching out to me and reading my story at all ;-; <3333

just a heads up: the links button on your ccfinds blog goes to the femmefinds url still

oh yeah i know i’m gonna be real with you...i’m too lazy to fix it lmAO

Luv your stick n poke tats u posted!!! Could u do more? Maybe on diff places on the bod?? Ur so talented. Xx

omg that was FOREVER ago...maaaaaybe in the future...we shall see...but thank you <33

Can u do a family portrait for all ur characters like u did w Lou!!!

oooooh hehe i probably will in the future!!

Kill v maim is one of my favorite songs of all time omg it makes me wanna wear ripped jeans and a leather jacket and cover myself in glitter and smash some windows with a baseball bat MMMMMM

HELL yeah me too...i become a cyber punk alien vampire when i hear that song

maybe do a casting call posted here ? u have many followers and im sure a good chunk live in ur area and would be willing to model ^_^

omg SCARY...i probably could tho tbh that’s a good idea, thank you!

hi sunny, what program do you use to merge your cc and what do you use to detect and remove broken cc that just doesn't work in game anymore? thanks!

i actually haven’t merged on my new laptop yet but i used s4s for merging and there’s the mod conflict detector!!

My game hasn't been working since the first Cats and Dogs patch but I uninstalled and reinstalled and it finally works again 😭

sunny!! would you recommend your computer to play ts4 on? has it good graphics, can handle the highest settings and so? i really need a new computer but i have no idea which one to go for

yes i would recommend it!! i have reshade, ultra settings and like 8 gb of cc.

thanks for answering my ask eee ur story is probably the best ive read on here and yeah. i love how everything connects and everyones just so real. you dont have to post this i just wanted to thank you for being my inspiration and making me smile, laugh, cry, and scream in the middle of the night with your characters.

I LOVE U...it still sounds so fake to me when people say i inspire them, i don’t even know how to respond to all this ;-; just thank you for sparing a glance my way and resonating with my creations. <3 we scream and cry 2gether

I listened to Separator by Radiohead on repeat whilst reading Santi’s story and now that song just reminds me of him and Lou. I’d totally suggest listening to it’s so good! As is your story :3 xxx

oh radiohead that’s good sh*t...i’m listening to it now and i feel the santou vibes...especially when santi’s feeling out of his mind and she’s the only one who can calm him...haha cool..anyways THANK YOU!!!!

how do you make poses for the roof? i'm not sure how i can know if the sims will clip into the roof or float

honestly i just...eyeball it...because all roofs are different and you can’t put them into blender so. i just winged it lmao...i just made a pose that looked like it could’ve been lou climbing out the window, only the rig was still ground level, and then i used alt + 9 to lift the teleporter onto the roof as best as i could. that’s why it probably wouldn’t be a very practical pose to release, because i have no way of making it easy to use 

Lou punched him and I knew it would happen. 😀👌 nice, nice I like Lou whopping ass.

hehe i’m glad you enjoyed it...who knew she had a freaking hook like that

ok a theory... santi went to look for molly's mother and yea

omg tell me cillian sings every other freckle at some point

OMFG well...that song came out in 2013 and the current flashback year is 2008 so. i would personally murder cillian myself if he was still in lou’s life 5 years after this honestly

hey kitty girl! i was wondering if you could answer this teensy lil question i got. im writing a "story" anddd i was trying to figure out how to make some parts not cliche. like i hate reading about whatever and being like girll ive done seen this before so i just needs to know. kisses

i absolutely love how this is worded and the fact that u called me kitty, very cute. anyway...this is pretty broad, perhaps you could clarify what kinda cliches you want to steer clear from? a lot of the time when i know something is gonna be cliche and there’s no avoiding it, i just kinda own up to it and try to subtly point out how cliche it is and somehow that makes it work out better...like being self aware somehow adds another more realistic element to the story that makes it better? idk...anyway dm me if you need help!!

so.... lou can remember more of what happened? this is good! go 2 the police bitch! tell them!!!!!!!

she should!! but the only problem is she doesn’t have proof. so... 🤔

how do you write your stories in a way that everything is organized and you're certain and not confused with everything? i mean, do you have any way for writing that let you develop your stories with not so much difficults? i'm trying to write an story for months but i only have a few of the most important events on my mind, i don't know how to develop another important details, i always feel that everything is confuse or crap

hmmmmm well my mind is very ah convoluted so it’s a wonder any of this comes out even somewhat cohesive? but basically i have a very good memory and utilize google docs a lot hahaha. i’ve gone in depth about my writing process here!

whats a good way when it comes to starting a sims story? i mean like the first post? :/

ummmmmm maybe test the waters a bit and just make a post introducing your character(s) first? or dive right in and get sh*t started. it could go either way tbh

boyish by japanese breakfast is a santixlou bop

oh sh*t!!!!!! i love japanese breakfast!! and i love this thank you!

So is lou like into cillian in a way? Making him kinda be in her type

as of right now (in the flashbacks)? HELL fucking no. but you’re right, she did say those things in the future to santi. so 🤔

Everyone guessing shit stupidly annoys me haha. I'M UNOBSERVANT AND I DON'T WANNA GO BACK AND CHECK SHIT, LET ME LIVE. *Like* if you a ~dum~ reader who doesn't want every bit of foreshadowing called out. lol

i respect this honestly whenever i drop the hottest foreshadowing of 2018 i never expect my inbox to flood like it does but here we are and i am amazed

CILLIAN NEEDS TO FUCKING FIGHT ME (TYPING THIS ON MY COMPUTER BC I SAW HIS DINOSAUR ASS AND CHUCKED MY PHONE OUT THE WINDOW)

i’m screaming...i’m so sorry it’s my fault about your phone but like also i’m poor i can’t pay for that

i'm studying your latest posts because they're beautiful and my hatred for that long necked bitch is intensifying -- what makes me burn even more is that he's still wearing her necklace, can we say let the bitch burn?

burn babey burn

Why don't you use quick tags?

i’m dumb is why

CILLIAN IS SUCH A SHITASS I HATE HIS FACE WHY R U DOING THIS TO ME

BRUHHHHH THE DINOSAUR LOOKIN ASS BOY IS B A C K run

WAIT THE NECKLACE. HE STOLE THE MCFUCKING NECKLACE BROOOOO

What if Fi's blue eyes are from... Cillian..?

wHY did you have to make him cute and fucking cool though? I still hate him but it's harder.

NVM I JUST LOOKED AT THE POST AGAIN HES WEARING HER NECKLACE INHOPE SHE CHOKES HIMS WOTH IT THIS TIME

I SCREAMED AT THIS SERIES OF QUESTIONS OISDFNGJKDSKJN yeah sorry he’s conventionally attractive but unsettlingly so and i feel uneasy when i look at him and plus the fact that he’s literally evil so .

im like, to 90% sure that cillian is in ace joker. so that song might have reminded lou of him...

this was sent right after that scene of lou hearing the song at pippin’s, so

My conspiracy theory is that cillian is Lou's father. Speakimg of which are we gonna get to that soon, I'm dying of curiosity;.;

I’M LAUGHING I THINK U MEANT FIONA’S FATHER AKSJDKJGDSJ but yeah well. You’ll See

what do u resize ur photos to?

whatever 33% of 1920x1080 is i forget. i have a resizing + sharpening action so i just run that

im about to kill those kids if they keep fucking with my baby

THESE BITCHES BULLYING MY BABY LOU? CATCH THESE HANDS

me @ these ugly kids:

Who are the best creators for mens clothing? I struggle so much to find good cc creators with men specifically!

badabing badaboom

I’m not sure if you’ve converted things before but do you know any good sims 3 cc to sims 4 tutorials? Or your followers?

errrrrr i have no idea i’m sorry :x

would you consider making like a photoshop psd file with all the layers in your editing process?

omg...heck no it would be so unhelpful OMFG mostly because my editing is just my own action + shading and highlighting unique to that pic

would you ever do an editing timlapse of your gameplay pics? 💖💖

ahhhhh maybe!! probably in the future!

OMG HEATHERS WAS FILMED AT MY HIGH SCHOOL AND IM JUST HYPED UP SEEING IT BEING MENTIONED ON THIS ACCOUNT!!

OMFG THAT’S RAD...i’ve literally only seen it once tho i’m fake

I'M SHOOK. my friend kinda asked me out and I wanna say yes but my parents won't let me date. I'm 18! I need your advice! -signed 18 and alone anon

um UR 18 BUDDY UR AN ADULT...DATE WHOEVER THE F*CK U WANT HONESTLY

Can you pretty please link some photoshop tutorials you recommend? I really want to make my photos more cinematic and like your's without totally copying you or someone else. All I do right now is sharpen, color balance, and add some noise and then resize. I really need some more ways to get better looking photos such as yours.

ahhhhh the problem is i don’t know of any i’m sorry...lmao this is totally unhelpful :\ i have my own editing tutorial which is outdated but can probably help you out with the basics of lighting effects and shading n stuff?

Heyyy, I saw that you answered a question about making a ps action like your reshade, and I just wanted to say that I would love that! Unfortunately Mac users like me, can’t use reshade unless boot camping Windows onto our computers...☹️ and your reshade is just soooo pretty...

i don’t know if i’ll be able to replicate the reshade effect totally but i could release the action i’ve made for myself? it warms up screenshots but is totally adjustable to your liking for different color tones so in that way it’s kinda similar to the reshade. i’ll seeeeee what i can do...i know the woes of mac users all too well, my friend

i just wanna give lou a big ol cozy hug :o((( pls

pls hug her she needs it.

Do you post on tumblr from your phome or from your computer? Just curious.

mostly from my computer, sometimes i answer messages on my phone while i’m out and you can tell because autocorrect actually makes me use proper capitalization for once in my life

how many hours have you played the sims? for me i have 4,070 hours. haha help

OMFG i think mine is like...900 or something...i can’t tell if that’s too much or too little, but it’s definitely inaccurate

if i could only look at one person's tumblr from now on it would be yours. ur literally the queen of tumblr #shookaf and also i really hope i die before you ever say ur leaving tumblr cause when u do, i will legit die and bury my own grave. i really appreciate u and hope one day i can be on ur level but rn im at level 1.5 while ur up in the millions :D

I’M SCREAMING PLEASE I AM A PLEB.............i cry u flatter me too much ;-; i genuinely hope i never leave this place because it’s been so fun and it’s helped me evolve so much as an artist and a writer, plus i made some of my greatest friends on here. so i hope that day never comes!! but who knows life is wild. anyway i’m sure you’re actually like at level 578 and are just being modest. it’s okay you don’t have to be humble

i think its so cool that you and wanderlust and other simmers use multiple worlds to make your own town and stuff. idk why but thats just so cool to me and i would have never thought of it. love your blog and story <3

omg!!! well i couldn’t resist, i love a bunch of them and can’t limit myself to just one ya know. plus the more i thought about it, the more my gen 2 story kinda centers around these kids from this one town and the town itself is very relevant. so i felt like i had to make my own!! and i’m very excited to get started with that hehe

I just met a guy named Rodrigo Santiago and I sCREAMED HOLY SHIT

Update (tho idk of you got the first one): I just got a text from a classmate named Rodrigo Santiago. I'm sCREECHING

no freaking way. there’s no way i don’t believe...i want proof...

YOU SO FUCKIN PRECIOUS WHEN U SMILE

dont worry about posting this or do idc but i just wanted to say you should write about whatever you want and not care about whether people think you condone it or not. if i (a gay male) were to write about lesbians its not like im saying YOU HAVE TO BE LESBIANS BLAH BLAH BLAH you know what i mean? or if im writing about a robbery doesnt mean im like condoning robbery so like idk you do you boo and keep it coming ;D ilysm btw

OMFG no yeah i get it, i mean i think now especially in this online environment, people are hyper aware of Problematique things and so they’re a little too quick to point fingers without looking deeper than the surface. and whatever it’s fine people are always gonna be like that because people are mostly inherently judgmental, especially when it comes to consuming media. artists/writers face stuff like this all the time because people refuse to look past the surface, hence why works have gotten misconstrued all the time. but yeah i really appreciate this sentiment, thank u i love u

hope this isnt a weird question but what is the image size that u used for your character page?? thnk u 💕

omg it’s 300x300

have u listened to visions of gideon by sufjan stevens i was listening to it while reading ur stories and it made me so :(

oh my boy sufjan aka gianni’s personality claim i love him...and this song is :{ but i love even if it’s from the nasty age gap peach fucking movie

If i was married to Jamie and he treatin’ our daughter like that… oh I swear HES GOT TO GO!

it’s 2 am i’m so tired answering all of these i forgot who jaime was for a sec i was like um why are we talking about GoT anyways good night

how does alpha hair work with reshade? it seems so good in your screenshots and i’ve seen that in others screenshots it looks bad? whats the secret?

well good morning haha jk i never went to sleep anyway here u go

hooow do you make adorable toddlers in ts4?? teach me, gimme some advice please :(((

chubby cheeks! big eyes! small faces! little but plump lips! a good skin! dats all

how did u get ur sim onto the fire escapes?

ze teleporter mod, that’s it

I snickered at the, THE RETURN OF SANTI. Like I imagine it written in red horror lettering and santi just busts down the door and says ho ho ho im back bench, Did U miss me?

honestly i own a calendar and if i knew a definite date u already fucking kNOW it would be up there

ahhh im sorry for asking but im wondering how you find voice claims?? i'm looking for some for my sims, but it's tough to find one that's *right*, you know?? and your voice claims are great!! thank you <3

OMG voice claims are HARD, i literally just like “collect” them over time...i have a list in my phone of voices i like/may use in the future lmao, but try to think of actors or musicians and search interviews/movie or tv scenes with them speaking!!

i don't even read your story but i still follow you because i love your personality, sim style and just your whole entire tumblr

u follow me for ME? UM...what are u doing here...i’m so sorry (i love u...)

do you have a different reshade preset for flashback screenshots and for the present ones?

i do not!! i just edit differently

what happened to the honeycomb?

OMFG it’s still there...but we legit haven’t seen it since girooni’s wedding so um...it’s gonna have to get a makeover. i’m gonna do it when girooni come back home so i can finally show rupi working there like...wow...she deserves to be seen

lou's dad is the biggest asshole and i am waiting for the day that bitch dies

us when he dies

shit theory: caroline goes to find and confront cillian about what he did in teen lou timeline. care ends up forming a crush on cillian and goes back to meet him several more times, but cillian ends up liking lou more which makes caroline jealous. and that's why they don't speak currently, 'cause cillian ruined lou's life in more ways than one.

uM holy fuck that’s all i got to say

pls tell me that Caro killed the dude that choked Lou (or beat his ass)

god i hope so !

how many people do you follow? are you “strict” with who you follow?

i follow 264 people and yeah i’ve gotten a bit stricter with it just cause like...i only want to follow people whose content i truly care about/will actually notice on my dash

would you ever do a sim dump?

probably in the future, it seems like people want more male and female sims from me SO

ramona got some moves tf

the girl is out here bobbing to the chicken dance like nobody’s business

have u seen the end of the fucking world? if u did what are your #thots

UM......................i watched the first episode ‘cause i heard so much about it and um.............................it was so bad OMFG i hated it. way too edgy for me. completely missed the mark. not into it at all. hard pass

CAN LOU PLEASE HAVE A MAN IN HER LIFE WHO IS NOT A COMPLETE TWAT PLEASE

HOPEFULLY ezra will follow through with that and i don’t necessarily mean in a romantic way but like...as her new roommate MAYBE he will be a blessing we can HOPE

I'm not sure if you've been asked this or not, but your poses are so good and I was wondering if you have ever considered making a pose pack? Sorry if this came off as rude! I love your posts!

i will probably in the future!! but first i gotta figure out which ones i’d actually include

okay so this is random but I just wanted to say that I absolutely love your sims stories. Everything is so perfect and I'm forever shook because I can't believe the "sets" you use are actually the game. Your sims are so fleshed out and you are a huge inspiration to me. Anyways sorry if this was weird but I'm like obsessed with ur blog. bYe

AJHSDHJFSD THANK YOU!!!!!!! yes somehow we work miracles into this game can u believe it...ahh but thank you so much, it means everything that i would inspire you in any way...like what...omg

Santi is actually standing outside present Lou’s apartment wondering where the fuck he went wrong

he’s been there for 6 months just on the street standing there please someone let him in .

LOUUUU OH MY GODDD SKKDSNSJDH MY BABY. SO THATS HOW SHE GOT THE SCAR. WOW

there it is fellas. this message is sooooo old i’m so bad

Have you read/heard of The Lunar Chronicles

i have not!! but i’ll jot it down!

I was wondering if you’ve ever had any problems with skins? For me some on the palm side of the hand it’s noticeably darker than what the skin is supposed to be.. like the rest comes out find but the hands are darker.

hmm...that’s weird, i haven’t seen that. i think it probably depends on the skin? or maybe your sim detail settings?

santi my daddy, honeybodies my mommy, lou looking like a cutie when she saw dat tiny puppy. my name is rappin anon, and i just wanted to say, ur are my favorite simblr basically saving my day. rappin anon OUT

o...my god

i love u

i love u...

[nottebuio3006]

I seem to be in a considerably better place this morning with all of this Rebecca business now. It's all officially drifting to the rearview, much faster than I expected. I think all the typing about it to Tumblr and my notebooks and stuff really worked wonders for my emotions...and just getting rid of them. And, assuming I'm "lucky" this week and I manage to actually avoid contacting her in any way, shape, or form (i.e. instagram, email, texts or calling, or showing up) then I think I, in my own way, will have "won" the battle.

Now I understand it might sound wrong to try and say I'm eager to win... but , I dunno, after being so wronged like this I guess I realize I sort of want "revenge" and this seems like the best type of revenge. To just basically do exactly what she did, and give her nothing further. To be honest I'm regretful I even gave her what I did ... 3-4 phone calls, a voicemail, 2 emails.... 4 texts. Again though like I said yesterday: Considering how often we talked and how random this cut was, I think she's sitting there in absolute shock that this was all she received. I think she really was expecting 100 of each! She got next to nothin', really, and now she's gonna get even less. Now she's really gonna get nothing...cause all my emotions I essentially just drained using my trusty notebooks, which I know is something she simply does not understand. See I tried to tell Rebecca many times about the beauty of keeping a journal, or a blog, or anything written, in order to expel negativity et cetera. She always thought it was kinda ridiculous. Now though I can almost see her sitting here and in the back of her head shes maybe realizing..."hes prolly just making a fuckin story outta this whole thing." And indeed I have. This entire Rebecca incident stole an entire week of my writing but ... meh.....it was interesting to write about, even if it did get repetitive. In fact I think it's one of the "warmest" things I've written in years. It actually all seems relatable and real in respect to my usual vampire hunter, elf wizards, etc stories.....

So yeah. I think I somehow got rid of most of the grief. The panic has definitely mostly vanished. Am I still deeply upset, shocked ,surprised, findig it hard to believe...wishin my old pal was back? Am I still curious where it might have gone had she not ranodmly cut it?? Yes. Definitely. But mostly I find that I have selfish reasons for missing Rebecca. Like I am not sure I miss her for "her" so much but rather just because I enjoyed having a female in my life, as a friend. I live a sorta awkward life so it can be hard to meet girls,even just as friends and even if I tell them I'm gay or bi etc. But now Rebecca has maybe taught me that my previous assumptions about girls (that I made before meeting her) were all sorta ...mistaken. There are poor girls out there who don't go shopping all day everyday and want Louis Vuitton purses and just scream and yell if they don't have them. So maybe I can somehow find a way to meet another chick and this time just be openly and completely gay w/ her and have a new .. better... bestie. If I can find that girl it'll be an even better relationship than I had with Rebecca ... far better ... but I just dont know WHERE I would find her. There's gotta be somewhere. I'm sort of thinking Twitter but then again I want a local. Its challenging...which is why I'm so nervous about this deep dwon ...I basically just think that no other girl will ever talk to me as much as Becca did..... and I don't want any dude friends jajaja.

Becca didn't always like her life but she had a good thing going on around her: She had a pretty nice, empty house she could always invite you into, any day of the week, the house was stocked with her daddys' never ending wine bottles, she had cars and was (often) willing to drive, she would always cook for you...she had an inground pool... Rebecca had a lot of positives and "add ons". Often I did not take any advantage of them (I literally only texted w/ her this entire summer, for example) but they were still there. Often times you meet people and they only want to come to your house...theirs is closed...etc... so I am worried I'll never find someone with a life as open as hers again. I'll nevr find a girl with an open life again. This is my big fear. I am just really stuck now on this idea that I want a female friend, if not mnay of them. I just wish it was easier to find. Ive got no fucking idea how to find it....  

The irony of this of course is that, if you look at the last convo I had with Becca before she did the Cut (I published it on the Blog) you will see that this was, oddly enough, *exactly* what I was discussing w/ her. I had been trying to tell her how she made me realize, for the first time since I was in middle school, just how annoying I have often found havig nothing but male friends. I tod her I was very grateful to have her as a friend...cause she was a girl et cetera. I suppose this may have "offended" her . Well if it did I htink shes sorta close minded and ridicuous. I also think she doesn't understand just how much of a fucking challenge it can be for a dude who isn't "flamboyantly gay" to have a proper femme friend.

It isn't easy and depending on where you are in life it's , like I'm saying, next to impossible to meet.  Since I am not flamboyantly gay I am not in circles of hairdressers or tanning salon workers to meet girls... =p. I don't think I would necessarily mind that sort of society; It just that I never wound up falling into it. I am not all that straight acting now, but I'm almost 28. When I was younger I was into different things and very straight acting. I was terrified of my own homosexual ideas until I ws about, let's say, 24. I was never by any means the most masculine of dudes but I was never thought of as gay either. I still don't really think I'm read as gay, even though I haven't dated a girl in almost a decade, and I think this is one reason Rebecca was maybe getting aggravated w/ me and I didn't realize it. I don't think she really likes men who don't "Seem gay". I think it honestly disturbed her that i come off to her as masculine but kept talking about my interest in the LGBT lifestyle. Again, the literal last thing I said to her before she cut me off was about my interest in th e LGBT world. I had literally said "I just wonder how one would make the initial break in ..to the culture....I just wonder how..." And then she went poof....

So in a way this almost now brings up th eidea that Rebecca has perhaps shot a massive arrow of sorts at my own recent "security " with my growing homosexuality. She has sort of made me feel a bit insecure about it *all over again* since she seems to have cut me out for trying to delve deeply into the subject w/ her. I am not sure how I am really going to react to it. In one sense I seem to feel a sort of strength, as though I am wearing armor now, because of the homosexuality...and on the other I feel like I want to run in the other direction, and not be gay, and chase her. Which is kind of weird? It's almost like the dude who wants to keep calling Becca isn't the queer in me...it's the straight...and the boy who is just shrugging it off... thats my gay self. Does it make sense? Maybe not. I just think it's to say that I'm deciding to run with the gay self here,. With DA BAD BITCH! And da bad bitch don't need shit to do with Becca jajajaja...

--signing out for now ...Lil Kim on blast....