#ive been on this timetravel fic fix lately

[k3nb]

it was late in the evening and sakura could not sleep. she had trained with tsunade from the crack of dawn and, from the legs that had to hold her up all day to the tingling in her fingers that practiced the manipulation of chakra, her body screamed exhaustion. still, her eyes remained fixed on the ceiling as the waning crescent moon shone through her bedroom window. she did not allow herself to turn and look at it, but her peripheral was ever aware of its presence just as much as it had been that night where she had not been enough.

perhaps if she had been stronger. smarter. more reliable. 

if only he had thought her capable of following through with all the promises she threw at his stiff back in her desperation, spewed from her lips and rooted in her heart.

maybe then the boy who made her heart ache would have paused long enough to really think about what he was throwing away. 

if only she had been enough.

sakura’s vision blurred as liquid gathered in seas of green. it was too late to blink them back now so instead, she squeezed her eyes shut indignantly, refusing to let them go. she had shed enough tears that night. 

but she could still feel the ripples behind her eyelids, threatening to spill over after the stone-cold expression on his beautiful face - the last look he had ever given her etched into her memory - weighed heavily on her chest. the kunoichi focused on her breathing, hoping that by forcing her inhales and exhales to file in and out of her body uniformly, that the ripples in her eyes would still into a calm pool, with nary a slosh or drop that could spill over.

she focused on that picture in her mind. a very still pool reflecting the night sky, with a full moon instead of an empty crescent one. there were stars, too, a community of stars that surrounded that moon and it was not alone. the night was mostly clear, though a stray cloud gathered and passed here and there. there were no ripples in that pool. it was calm and still. and it was working. 

there was a calm that passed over sakura such as she had never felt in a long time. the last time she felt this kind of peace was by a campsite in the forest of death with the fish that sasuke and naruto had caught smoking over the kindling she had prepared and that sasuke had lit. where their only concern was trying to advance to the next level as shinobis. blissfully unaware of orochimaru’s presence. before the invasion. before the curse mark. before the separation.

the ripples in her pool were forming again so sakura called her train of thought back and refocused on that stillness. that peace under the full moon. the complete moon. the moon that didn’t feel lonely or inadequate but content and at peace.

a different image morphed itself in her mind with the skill that only the unconscious mind, half-asleep and freed from the constraints of plausibility, can concoct.

the pool remained. the sky was unchanged. but her vision had taken a step back and she was looking at the bigger picture.

two silhouettes stood side by side next to the pool. there was a tranquility that was palpable in the air despite the lack of a breeze or ripple. there was a lightness in her heart that was unfamiliar yet comforting, the kind of contentedness that only a heart that wants for nothing could carry around. she felt fingers on her face and her eyes opened.

instead of the ceiling of her bedroom, she was looking at a familiar face. familiar, but oh so strange. she studied the length of his hair, mapped out the lines on his face, and basked in the softness of his eyes.

“you never seem to change, sakura.”

her breath hitches in her throat and her parasympathetic system instinctively prepares itself for a wave of sadness to crash over her but nothing came. it was almost anticlimactic except for the undercurrents of joy that she was now just noticing. the tears that had only moments ago threatened to spill onto her mattress and the stone road leading out of the village had suddenly disappeared and all she could feel was awe. and joy.

“but, y’know, you’re allowed to have wrinkles too.”

sakura focused on that joy and allowed herself to really feel it. she wondered at it. it was streaming through her veins with all the silence and subtlety that only years of self-assurance can orchestrate. she watched her own hand reach up and cover his.

“sasuke, i know you inside and out,”

was that her voice?

never mind that this was not her sasuke. at least, not yet. never mind that she did not recognize her own voice. or this place. or this man. she had no reason to believe it. but she did. because she recognized the love she felt. the love behind the pain that was crushing her not even an hour ago. the love that the joy she now felt was stemming from. it threatened to burst forth from her being with the same urgency and eagerness as those of the long-gone tears.

“you have nothing to worry about.”

it was as much for her as it was for him. she felt this strange version of herself, whose body she was borrowing in that moment, envelop her in that warmth. as though it had recognized her and wanted to embrace her with such fierce confidence that she believed it. sakura believed those words so much there was no room for doubt.

there was a moment of silence and peace then, looking over the stillness of that pool, the warmth of her hand intertwined with his. the undeniable connection that she could not even begin to describe reaching over space and time to hold them suspended in that moment.

the next day she would awake, and all the threads that knit together this picture in her mind would unravel and disappear along with all traces of sleep and rest. it would be back to training to the point of exhaustion. to ears perked when a stray conversation about far off lands wafts into hearing. with a renewed sense of determination and, buried so deep that she was not even aware of it, a faith that was not unfounded.

she would watch the waning crescent moon turn full. she would watch the stars appear and the clouds give way to clear skies. again and again and again.

she had nothing to worry about. as long as they were under the same sky. and she believed it.

I wish genin Sakura could see her future because that poor girl was heartbroken when Sasuke left. She felt useless and powerless to stop him, she was behind her teammates.

Flash forward to the future, she is the strongest kunoichi who saves lives and incredibly powerful, she’s a role model for all the young girls. The boy she loved so dearly became the man she would be able to love forever and have a family with. Is their situation perfect? No. It suits them, they have duties and at the end of the day they know they love each other very much.

I just want her to know that she’s gonna be okay 🥺