#ive been functioning through this environment change pretty ok now

[maxellminidisc]

Its wild how like you can get to a point in anxiety and stress where you're like operating and dont feel shit but like your body absolutely will let you know shit is absolutely not right sodnkffkfldl

[botanyshitposts]

im still working on that paper on government regulations of GMO crops and its just.....really fascinating. i feel like i just....wasn’t very well informed about exactly how these plants interact with environment and with people before, although ive heard vague arguments about legality and possible dangers one way or the other tossed back and forth a lot. the regulation in a legal sense is done by USDA APHIS under title 7, chapter 104 (the Plant Protection Act), and it’s very messy and very interesting. for example, i’ve heard a lot about the ‘intellectual property’ legal case with Monstanto, but i just learned about the supreme court case Monsanto Co. v. Geertson Seed Farms, which concerns the actual regulation of some of these products. 

background: the issue in this case is if GMO crops could cross pollinate with non-GMO crops and introduce those genes inadvertently into nearby wild/organic populations. this is a big factor of what people mean when they say ‘GMO crops could hurt the environment’ (wether or not it could actually cause harm is another thing that kind of is on a more case-by-case basis with the gene involved and stuff). 

from there: 

1. if you are a company wanting to mass-produce ur GMO crop, then u put that crop through years of development and then contact USDA APHIS, who sends people out to put it through it’s paces and make sure that it’s not going to fuck anything up/hurt people. usually by this point the company is 600% sure that it’s safe, because the entire regulatory process costs a lot of money and you don’t want to put just any old crop through that just to have it fail. 

2. again, USDA APHIS runs under title 7 chapter 104, which classifies GMOs as ‘plant pests’ (this wording gives APHIS the legal jurisdiction to screen them like they do). BUT because of the technical meaning of ‘plant pest’ in another law, a GMO is only a GMO if it contains DNA from another organism. so if you take DNA from the same plant and move it around/modify it, you can petition USDA APHIS to declassify it as a plant pest, meaning that the particular crop becomes completely deregulated and can just kinda....do whatever, get planted whatever, etc and is completely out of the jurisdiction of the department. (it should be noted that this is kind of viewed as a loophole, because one of the concerns about genetic engineering is that by moving genes around the genome, you could accidentally insert it into another gene and break it’s function, causing unintentional adverse affects.)

3. this wording also means that USDA APHIS also has to abide by NEPTA, the National Environmental Policy Act of 1969, which states that if APHIS gets petitioned to deregulate a crop, before they do anything they first have to do an environmental assessment of the crop that is wrapped up in a report saying ‘yea u good, because all our tests came back negative, ur plant is now Free’, ‘you are not allowed to grow this, because of x reasons, your plant must remain under our regulations’, or ‘you are allowed to grow this Wherever and do Whatever, but only in certain places where you can be sure x things won’t happen, if you grow it outside those zones then its back under our jurisdiction’. if USDA APHIS decides that it’s safe enough, they can allow the crop to enter deregulation before the environmental assessment is finished. 

so it’s 2004, and Monstanto has an alfalfa crop variety that’s Roundup Ready (meaning that it’s resistant to their patented herbicide Roundup, and if you have it planted you can spray the field with that herbicide and kill everything but the crop. they have a few different kinds of crop like this but this case concerns their alfalfa variety). they decide ‘hey, lets go petition the USDA for our crop to be deregulated so we can do Whatever We Want with it’. the problem here is that alfalfa is open pollinated, meaning that it’s naturally pollinated insects.....that also pollinate other alfalfa nearby. alfalfa that may not be GMO. alfalfa that may, in fact, be organic.....which, by federal regulation, cannot be GMO. APHIS looked over the case and did an assessment and was like ‘yea sure sounds good’ and started the process of deregulating the crop.

organic farmers in california noticed this, and they were like ‘that’s not very cash money of u’. so in 2006, Geertson Seed Farm and a few other organic farms rallied together and went to the california district court and were like ‘we dont think APHIS’s environmental assessment was enough, and we think that they should conduct a more thorough investigation, and during that investigation they should stop the process of deregulating the crop’. the court was like ‘yea that sounds reasonable’, ordered APHIS to conduct a new investigation, and ordered that Monstanto would not be able to plant any more of that alfalfa until APHIS had finished said investigation. monstanto was like ‘can you just like, partially deregulate it so we can like, plant it in some places at least?’ and the court was like ‘No(tm)’. 

monsanto Did Not Like This. they appealed to the california appeal courts, who in 2013 also said No(tm), and they still Did Not Like This, so they appealed to the u.s. supreme court, who was like ‘yea ok you can plant it in some places until APHIS finishes the assessment, because Geertson Seed Farm didn’t actually like....have any harm done to them, and we’ve decided that they need to show harm before they can demand that it not be deregulated’. they also decided that cross-contamination between organic and GMO crops does not qualify as harm done to those crops, because ‘harm’ in the context of a ‘plant pest’ is widespread physical damage and destruction of other plants, and changing the genome of a plant like that is not physical damage, which is....a really interesting conclusion that brings up a lot of questions, tbh. i’ve been thinking about it a lot lately, like....this is pretty strictly adhering to just the damage imposed on plants, and doesn’t branch out to consider how cross contamination could impact organic farmers economically through potentially having their crops deemed non-organic do to no fault of their own. i also feel like this is one of those cases where it could have some Wild Ass implications if it ever comes up in a human or animal context, although i can’t say exactly what that might be. 

[drashleighreid]

ALLLLLL 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

oooo snap dude! 

1. Who did you first come out to, if anyone?

the first time i remember having an actual *+*+ coming out moment with was probably my host mom. i mean id been like actively out in certain circles before that for a while but it was the first time i was genuinely nervous about it and felt like i was doing the whole*+*+ thing 

2. Favorite LGBT singer/instrumentalist?

i actually really love mary lambert bc she covers my childhood faves but makes em GAY 

3. What’s your gender + orientation?

f lesbian 

4. Who’s the best Gay Icon™?

hmmm idk ! can i say britney spears lmao 

5. Do you have a partner?

no : (

6. How long did your questioning process take (if you’re not still going through it)?

oh worm ! lol i dont know an exact amount of time. i kinda went like .... oh im straight ...... ohhh ok maybe im bi ....... im pan i love everyone !!! now im like wow women are iconic ! (even tho i identify as lesbian i still dont know what the fuck is going on ?? i still stand by the fact that sexuality is fluid n this could change at some point !! but women rock and men make me uncomfortable so lol ! thats where im at and its valid ! )

7. What movie/video game/TV shows have you stolen from the straights?

hmm ! i dont really know what this means tbh ??? like ?? a straight thing that i like or one that i wish was gay or wat ? :s

8. What’s your favorite color?

orange ! 

9. Do you go to a support/pride group?

no i dont! i always think about joining the university one in O week but then im always too nervous to go up to them and i stupidly i dont like joining groups n going to events by myself lol even tho i know thats how u meet people ! anyway ! disaster lesbian here 

10. Have you ever been to a pride event?

i actually havent ! fake 

11. What’s your favorite thing about your flag(s)?

its pretty & sof ! it makes me wanna eat raspberries 

12. Favorite LGBT artist/writer?

oo i actually have no idea ! i havent read much in a looong ass time nd dont really follow artists that much 

13. How often do you get tired of The Straights?

every damn day my pal 

14. How do you express your sexuality/gender?

im more confident in expressing it online through my shitposting lol. irl im not as open about my sexuality. ive tried to be a little more this year but it left me feeling a little uncomfortable because of the situation. i dont really think about //expressing// my sexuality or gender that much. i dont dress in a certain way or anything that is explicitly +*+*+gay lol

15. Has Tumblr been more harmful of beneficial to you when it comes to discussing LGBT issues or figuring yourself out?

more beneficial. its a space where i actually feel comfortable and confident to be gay. im super proud of my sexuality but like ?? sometimes even when u feel that love n passion toward it some RL circumstances can lowkey drag u thru the mud so its a nice place to come and be unapologetically gay tbh ! fandom has been good for this too. like coming on here and reading fic and seeing art etc abt beautiful wonderful wlw is so lovely and makes my heart feel so nice and soft ! and sharing this experience with other people on here has been all around a pretty wholesome nurturing experience and im pretty grateful for that. 

16. What LGBT charities/organizations do you support?

there aren’t really any i follow specifically and i dont have a lot of money so its hard to give to things but i do appreciate the organisations trying to help lgbt ppl ! i know there are a lot out there. ive bought things from love is louder before because im a fuckin slut for britt snow and i really appreciate what she’s doing with that does that count lmao 

17. Distinguished, functional, or disaster?

im somewhere between functional and disaster depending on the day. 

18. Favorite LGBT film or actor?

i really enjoyed love, simon... also i liked below her mouth even tho its kinda mostly porn lol. my favorite film of all time is Frida which i mean? counts right. and actor omg there are sOOOO many ! i friggin love stephanie beatriz tbh but there are a lot of badass lgbt ppl out there 

19. Is your current environment supportive?

i mean... yeah... i live with a rly queer nb gay af person who literally writes and performs theatre shows abt being queer so being gay is something we really celebrate here! id really like to have more gay friends here who i can hang out with tho it would make it a lot more enjoyable ! 

20. What are your plans for this June?

nothing too exciting or gay sadly lol. im going home to qld to visit my family for a while so nothing super gay will be occurring lol. 3thank you so much my dear xx i hope you’re having a fabulous pride time. 

[calcdad]

I’m actually sitting down at my computer to write this out and it’s not necessarily meant for anyone to read but maybe to organize myself and help myself in the process of pulling myself up 

Let me start off by saying that, beyond tumblr cliches, beyond the current sense of self depreciating humor, to whatever extent my spirituality exists, I’ve always had this weird complex and genuinely strong belief that I am a bad person. I am a bad person. 

The time i’ve spent at mcgill has been terrible. Honestly, truly awful. I could leave this city and never look back and I think that, save for a couple special people who have found their way into my life, I wouldn’t look back. And I wouldn’t need to. I’ve done nothing here to make a spot for myself anywhere in this city, in this school, or even in this residence. I do not feel welcome here, and I do not believe that I am welcome at this school or this residence. and a large part of that is my conscious fault. 

I was (and still am) so afraid of what these people here think of me that I haven’t left my room for days on end. I didn’t start eating in the cafeteria until recently. I wouldn’t go to class. any act of kindness which someone shows towards me I think is driven by some incentive to embarrass me, and I accept it and obsess over what could possibly be behind it. It’s strange, but all of the fears that I never had in high school are here. 

I don’t feel like I relate to these kids, and that’s another issue. I cannot, for the most part, make friends. I just...don’t relate. I must have met hundreds of people by now, and only about five of them are good for conversation beyond the superficial. I don’t feel like anybody actually likes me for who i am, and when it comes time to show somebody who i am, i really run into another problem which i havent ever really faced in my life. I don’t know who i am or what it means to open up anymore. Like what the fuck. How. I don’t know how, but it doesn’t happen.

I sit in my room under the covers for ten hours a day laughing at memes and hiding because I dont feel like i have a place with these kids and i dont feel like i belong in these academics

Ive been sick since october and the mcgill clinic is so notoriously rude and awful with handling their students that I really do not want to go back there, not to mention that I cannot function without like 16 hours of sleep now? and i dont know what brought that on but i am more exhausted than i have ever been in my whole life and i dont do anything. I dont do anything.

But i’ve been smelling blood nearly constantly for like two months and ive had such a nasty cough and other symptoms since october so like what does that mean?

Then like. the conscious part.

I met sam a week ago, but one of the most remarkable things about him is that I can genuinely be myself without worrying about being too fem or any of the other “you’d be perfect if you just...” insults that every other guy has given me. But like. the self depreciating humor is taxing on him and probably everybody else. nobody wants to hear how im hating it here when they’re having the time of their lives and like thats great im happy that you love it here but i have never felt like death has ever been closer, be it by natural causes or my own hands, i really do not think i will live to the end of first year. or so my dramatic causes have me believing. which is strange. i hate making him uncomfortable with the negativity ive put off, and really pretty much anyone else, but like...idk...it’s not easy. i’m the kid in rez who cant do rez life. i’m actually an outcast here. i don’t know how i’m supposed to hide the fact that i hate things when i cannot escape an environment that i know is toxic to my mental and physical health, when i feel so anxious around everyone and everything so much that saying hi to someone who lives on my floor is a struggle and i cant do it without some dark humor focused joke on how im struggling when really n o b o d y else is struggling but me. why cant i get with the fucking picture. i wanna be optimistic though. and change my attitude. rly wanna put in work there and smile again for once in months. i dont wanna throw away what could be such a good experience with a different guy who can provide several good lessons, and i dont even mean in a boyfriend way. just in being around him and his influence. i want to learn from that.

fabia ditched on me as a roommate next year and like that didnt bother me at first but like...im living alone now. i have her as a friend (maybe?) bc sam and chris are leaving, and im living alone. these are the years when i should be living with friends and having fun and i cant do it because i cant live with friends and i dont know what fun is anymore! i like alcohol and parties but honestly like...they are bad things for me. i need to keep them away i think. but also, some of them are ok and i want to go to those but then i get crucified for trying to enjoy normal college life

i think kathy is realizing she doesnt like me as a person. that..........is an issue i wont ever have words to tackle. It’s also a two way street, and i wish she could see the double standard and the harshness of her tongue that she throws at me when she insists it’s for my better. I’m literally wishing for death every day and i feel like i lost the support of the woman who has been through it all with me and that’s such a.......lonely feeling. it makes me disappointed in myself, for reasons i should be and reasons i should not be. it is a two way street and i wish she were more open to hearing my side instead of talking down to me because i don’t have it together and she does. this isnt actually what it’s like but it’s what it feels like and it’s not exactly encouraging to hear such cold nasty words from your best friend if you slip up or if you go out to a social event and try to make friends and actually feel like you did only to get shredded. it just isnt what i need right now and i’d like to think she still gets me enough that i havent quite ever struggled this hard in my entire life. im sorry im not doing better but you’re wrong if you think im not trying. id really rather not fucking try, id really rather throw in the towel and that is the first time ive ever felt so strongly about this and i dont know. i want my best friend back and i dont want her hating everything i do or making it feel like she does. kathy if you read this i love you and i miss you.

emily i love you and i miss you too and what ive been meaning to bring up is that i love dana and i love you two together but since you two met you’ve been so distant and i just wish it felt like you were around a little more. i miss gaymarie.

it’s all ashes really. sam deserves to meet me in a better time in my life, because this is a really toxic person that i am right now. kathy and emily and fabia deserve a better friend. but i am fucking trying. impact>intent, but i am fucking trying and i don’t think anyone gets the magnitude of that statement when i say it. maybe it doesn’t matter. i want to, and i will, get myself back together. i just dont know what back together looks like from here.