#ive been forcing my boyfriend (of 4.5 years) to watch spn for the first time
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sunshine-jack · 4 years ago
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#it is 1am and i am incredibly frustrated#ive been forcing my boyfriend (of 4.5 years) to watch spn for the first time#and like. i KNEW he wasnt gonna like it. i knew that. i didnt think he'd ever cave and agree to watch it.#but here we are! and we just started s5 finally#and trying to get him to watch it when we have the time is like pulling teeth#and it's lowkey ruining the show for me at times#tonight's arguments were on the topic of early deancas queer subtext and him seeing it just as friend moments#and on one hand i get that i was pointing out things heavily (kinda as a joke tho? so much of the early stuff is a reach i do get that)#but also he pushes back so. hard. against the queerness of it all and it's frustrating#he sits so heteronormative about it all and i have to remember that i am trying to get a straight (white) male to read with a queer lens#and doesnt see it. and sometimes it feels like hes refusing to see it. and then it turns into one person pushing and the other starts#pushing right back and then we both spiral down. and i am sick of having a point be met with an argument.#i simply do not understand why he cannot join the good fun boat of the ship destiel!#he wants it to be fully spelled out and im like!! ok yeah!! me too!! welcome to queerbaiting 101!! thats my whole point!!#god if anyone reads these im sorry#like: how do i (a bi woman) make a straight man understand that queer people have always had to reach. always. this is my only option.#this is literally the queer media experience. this is what i get. sue me for running with it.#anyways i cant figure my thoughts out well enough to type anymore. i am frustrated and i miss hanging out with other gays.#this is also just one little straw of hay in a pile and im starting to wonder if/when the camel's back is gonna break.#there are probably a million typos in this chain and i am on mobile so god bless#julie speaks
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