#ive been doing it four or five years like i have all the technical stuff down really well

[weirdmageddon]

ok. let's finally talk about this thing i've been wanting to go public with for ages

so i am not a fan of needing THC to help me curb the embarrassment i have in being happy talking about my real realll special interests, because perceived rejection of my interests feels like rejection of myself since i put so much of myself (my time) into them. i anticipate rejection from others because the stuff i find myself occupied with is detached, abstract, highly technical, or niche, and i'm aware of the surrounding cultural assumptions. some of them, and the level at which i am in involved in understanding them, are really specialized or esoteric, so even opening up about them is like "fuuuck im gonna be made fun of or it’s gonna be too technical that they zone out and dont understand why this is so meaningful to me" ive even posted about that feeling before.

see if i start accumulating too much self-context made in my own mind without sharing it i start to feel more and more isolated from other people around me, that they’re not seeing the full extent of what im seeing myself. i don’t share it, because i fear rejection or superficial judgments in other people’s eyes (probably because it’s happened to me and i’ve seen it happen to others). but at the same time it has to be shared with more people around me or else i feel like i have an intestinal blockage in my mind. what happens is my mental colon explodes from all the shit accumulated over time and vou get a post like this. i’m sorry for that mental image btw. anyway back the point of this post

anything where i can systematize archetypes in real, everyday situations has always been my strong suit. so when people ask me my hobbies im like ... uhhh what am i supposed to say? i analyze stuff about the world and rotate it in my mind. when carl jung wrote there are “as many archetypes as there are typical situations in life” i know exactly what he was talking about.

i’ve been toeing the line to really talk about this thing for two years, so let me tell you about socionics. if you already know what im talking about i love you. if you don’t (or even if you do, keep reading there’s probably stuff you don’t know in here), it is part abstract cybernetic model, part jungian concepts, part philosophy of information exchange. it classifies how people communicate and exchange information. it was created in eastern europe in the late 70s, developed primarily in the 80s-90s by other authors and it’s been an endlessly fascinating, elegant, and reliable tool for me.

usually people dismiss personality typology systems because the mbti became so watered down and pop-culturally saturated that people seemed to collectively take a stance of not taking anyone that genuinely cares about it seriously, or at least that’s the impression i got.

(btw — i need to go on this brief rant — i will never forgive 16personalities for being the big five rebranded and people thinking it's mbti. 16personalities gives you your big five type. they explicitly state on their website that they don’t borrow any concepts from jung. -A and -T don’t exist in the mbti and correspond directly to low and high neuroticism respectively. i figured out myself they mapped each letter dichotomy to the other four measures on the big five: extraversion (I/E), conscientiousness (P/J), agreeableness (T/F), openness to experience (S/N). which is stupid and it’s false advertising. take 16p and a big five test see for yourself how they match up. your personal mbti type can be different from its correlated big five type. the actual mbti using jungian concepts as a base is alright though. oh, and the best neo-jungian mbti stuff is by far michael pierce’d takes on it. if you actually fw that heres a carrd i created a few years ago about the cognitive function axes.)

but i always end up going to the bottom of the iceberg in anything i get really into, and i basically integrate it into my own understanding of the world around me for a while. maybe it was because i had a bad experience genuinely talking about it a few years ago from some people who made superficial judgments about it that made me sort of quiet about my interest in typology systems. i assume it’s because myers and briggs used the tool towards racist ends; it acquired negative connotations, bullshit intuition supremacy, and left the study of psychological types tainted in the united states. even if the individual’s study of the system is neutral, unbiased, out of pure curiosity as a way to classify and relate different personality structures to each other, as was the case with me. in addition to 16personalities being an invalid “mbti” test that bought their way to the front page of google, and rampant superficial information at all levels of study, finding anyone who was into it like me was basically impossible. the reason i have a preferred interpretation of jungian + mbti concepts is because i’ve tried different ones on and sensed how well they conform to reality as a way of describing phenomenon, ditching old ones that werent as clear. michael pierce’s i’ve found are the closest to what i sense jung's intentions were. (actually quite likely this is something i would attribute to being because all three of us are types LIl (and also all infj too, how about that?) brain-to-brain communication LII (carl jung) to LII (michael pierce) to LII (me)). so i felt like michael pierce kept the things that worked in real life and ditched the things that didn’t, leaving behind his elegant integration of the concepts.

anyway, i was under the assumption that anything that could be mistaken for it—which socionics often is at a glance—would be dismissed out of hand, even though it’s entirely different. plus, there’s all the context i’d need to clarify about how “it’s different from the “fun” unserious pop-psych mbti and also absurdly more technical” and what's the point in doing that if they don't respect you enough to hear you out anyway? so it just made me closed off.

they share a common ancestor though. the concepts are still based on carl jung’s book ‘psychological types’ which is why there is some shallow overlap, but the scope, structure, and application of it is different. i feel like this system is a lot more “living” and relevant to real interactions and communication between people in our everyday lives. i am always seeing specific examples of these concepts in play in real life and in characters depicted in media. it’s also been more empirically studied and successfully implemented over in eastern europe, and has gone under constant development and contribution. while since the 50s, mbti had crystalized and become stagnant with diverging interpretations to the point where it’s become basically meaningless to try to talk about because nobody can agree on concepts or semantics; there are virtually no distinctions between “schools” or “models” to differentiate interpretations — (although i have my preference for what i think are the most meaningful and reasonable one; as i said, that goes to michael pierce.) eastern (not so much western) socionics is incredibly more well put-together than mbti or kiersey for squeezing the potential from jung’s original ideas, and goes much deeper. that said, i will ALWAYS advise self-studying typlogy concepts over taking a test. the algorithm of a test can never possibly know you and your individual biases in interpreting the meaning of the words better than the knowledge you just have about yourself. if you learn the theory underlying it you will actually learn about yourself and others and it will actually mean something to you instead of a being an empty decoration for your profile.

here is a comparison chart i translated into english so you can get some idea of where these systems actually differ.

Букалов, А. (2019). On the advantages of socionics over other post-Jungian typologies. Socionics, Mentology and Personality Psychology, (6), 5–7. Retrieved from https://publishing.socionic.info/index.php/socionics/article/view/2603

for me it’s been super insightful applied to real life. it is like a toolkit for interpreting why some people just rub me the wrong way and our communication feels disjointed. or why some people pass my vibe check to enter my personal inner circle and i feel like talking with them is easier and not an uphill battle. who i feel drawn to and want to get to know better. to deconstruct why i and other people interpret information in the world the way they do, and how that explains the kind of people i end up curating in my life. it has put into words the concepts i haven’t been able to find the words for beforehand, and thus enables me to retrospectively pinpoint exactly what unconsciously makes people feel more at ease or why communication is just easier with some and why it’s harder with others, regardless of any other factors. there are other factors of course, that are the result of unique circumstances—nurture, culture, and upbringing—and i of course account for those, it’s not as pertinent to me as the framework that provides the skeletal structure regardless of those individual variations that are simply already a given for me. that was actually the whole point of its creation.

the system gives me a common language to communicate these ideas with, at least to the few people i talk to who have learned it, but i can adapt the concepts in how they relate to specific circumstances and convey it to a lay audience. i’ve been doing just that to explain why, of the people who have been made aware of the hs rarepair john-aradia, i have seen no one object to it, and instead, everyone i saw found it intriguing the more they thought about it, even when they initally thought was “so random”. and i realized, “hey wait! i know how to explain that!”, but that's in another post i've been working on.

[i was actually originally writing this post in the middle of said aradia and john analysis but i felt like there was way too much i wanted to talk about as its own thing. i figured people are going to be reading that post for john-aradia explanation, not public updates about my mind. i just didn’t want to rewrite this to account for the context because the point i made was still relevant]:

but now i’m thinking okay… i’m talking to a bunch of homestucks. why am i prostrating myself here? why am i so defensive? they’re probably creaming their pants at the idea of another symmetrically divisible system of classification to get their hands on. homestuck itself is founded upon a bunch of ideas with symmetrical divisions and classifications (divisible products of 2). aspect dichotomies, quadrants, cards, black-white, yin/yang and literally countless other abstract systems. if there is a common word to refer to these sorts of things, please let me know.

but in socionics terms, all of this sort of stuff i’m refering to would be within the domain of extraverted/black intuition (Ne) information, and classifying or positioning someone within those frameworks would be introverted/white logic (Ti). you can read more about these “elements” here. homestuck has familiarized you with notionally irreducible aspects present in everything, dual yin/yang forces permeating everything, so if you understand all of the sorts of abstract classification systems in homestuck you’re basically already 75% the way to fundamentally grasping model A socionics. it is way more structured and stable than the typologies in homestuck though. but you will perceive there to be similarities in the need for archetypal/thematic sense skills.

if you want to learn socionics, for the love of god start here. there are many weak places out there to start out with that will set you up with a faulty and loose understanding, but school of classic socionics is the best foundation to start with. i saw it emerge from the beginning when it was founded, having been part of it since late 2022.

this is an introduction to SCS, what makes it special, and and how differs from other socionics schools. i find SCS to be the most comprehensive, and i’m active within a side discord to discuss theoretical constructs related to model A. i’ve helped find the links between some concepts in model A that weren’t fully substantiated in augusta’s original works, specifically the importance of the asking/declaring reinin dichotomy, how it fits with regard to the rest of model A’s structure, how it underpins the ring of social benefit (which was missing from her writing), and how it can be used as an information element charge just like positivist/negativist can (i.e. all process types have positive asking Ne (+Ne? and all result types have negative declaring Ne (-Ne!). i’m still working on transfering my essay on that to a document.)

i know the intricacies of this system like the back of my hand but yeah i never post much about it because it’s so niche and i dont know who would even want to hear it besides people who i already know would, like in that small specialist group, but they actually been quiet lately even though i’m still active in there sharing things i realized. and i even feel alienated in most casual socionics discussion groups, especially larger ones. i need people who can match my freak about it.

because i have nowhere else to talk about it i’m starting to feel guilty yapping my friends’ ears off about it when i deconstruct everything i come across in light of this system like i’m being annoying about it. but at the same time when im doing that i am constantly reinforcing the merit of the system in successfully finding some dynamic i see in the drama of real life in connection to some idea from the model. i can immediately lock on to the core principles that are at play in any situation, validating the patterns that have been observed by others. by what measure do these people / characters / groups relate to each other, how do we define the specific “feeling” of the energy between them together? i could do a socionical analysis for anything that captures my interest.

it’s also been incredible for self-insight. i can now accurately explain my thought process.

i can change my perspective of the scope of my thinking on different levels. depending on the urgency of a situation developing around me and my respect for other people’s time, i can expand my reasoning from splitting hairs at the smallest pedantic specifics—although i prefer not to, to the most holistic global hard binary 0/1 (no/yes) judgment.

it’s fractal-like; once i know how to classify and compare the features of something to another, everything else with overlapping logical relationships instantly rises up in the same way, which of course is what leads to me having insights that reinforce the potential inherent in the things around me, because my way of thinking is isomorphic. i also experience strong animated mental imagery accompanying my conscious thoughts about these systems, minimalist shapes or lines of the barebones motion happening. i feel like my mental activity and what i actually write down is trying to capture what im seeing in my head.

i prefer to be brief, but that requires sharing contexts with someone. once i've established similar ways of talking about the same thing with someone so that we’re on the same page, our messages basically become exchanging code words with each other. all of the potential densely packed into these efficient little terms.

the effect is that i am reducing the amount of time and energy i have to spend trying to explain things to someone. i just want to communicate easily and be understood by the people i talk to so that i can enjoy my time with them. this is why i felt like such a long, clarifying, in-depth post was necessary, which would rip the bandaid off and pull it all up at once, instead of on a private, individual-to-individual level. i had to have it engraved somewhere i could just point someone to instead of repeatedly having to explain the same thing over and over cause that’s a waste of time and energy.

in fact, that revelation i had about myself just now can be explained by model A too! my own type is LIl and this type’s id block houses the information elements +Te! → +Ni?, which aushra describes as “The quality of deeds and actions and the efficient expenditure of energy in work—only performing for what is truly necessary—leads to peace of mind in the future.”

or, for example, coming at it from another angle, here is an older post i made before i was even aware of socionics. i was already talking about my experiences, patterns of thinking and self-awareness in a way that was so on the nose for a socionics analysis.

is that not the clearest example of phase 2’s sensitivity (for me it is information about sensorics)? -Fi? → -Se! superego block, anyone? and did you see how much i gave attention to the time i spend working; +Te! -> +Ni? id block? [information element descriptions here]. you could also derive the progression of the information metabolism stages in my own psyche (phase 1: Ethics -> phase 2: Sensorics -> phase 3: Logic -> phase 4: Intuition).

(from The Characteristic of SLI)

so through socionics it’s like i can find an explanation for just about everything i observe in others and myself just because i’ve extrapolated the logical relationships from that system and can isomorphically apply them to anything.

and i don't say that lightly! i'm not saying anything in this post lightly. like i have a degree in biopsychology from an honors college (ncf; yes, the liberal arts college desantis got his soulless hands on because it was “too woke"). having taken courses in statistics, research methods in psychology, and others, i know all about proper research design (and designing them myself). and of course i ended my four years there with my undergrad thesis, examining temporoparietal synchrony in autistic individuals when working alone and together, where for months on end i was doing nothing but reading and interpreting the validity of research papers. i even deconstructed poorly designed psychological constructs commonly used in autistic research in mine.

i also took personality psychology as a course during my time there. i got a birds eye view of most of the popular paradigms and still felt like i was more knowledgeable in the discourse behind some of the topics we glossed over since the course material was more of a broad comprehensive thing than an in-depth one for anything specific. in totality, all of the models i read about in relation to each other seemed so fragmented into different cuts and perspectives in trying to understand and find the patterns in people’s mental life. and yet none of the models i read about hold as as great of an everyday explanatory power as socionics does for explaining ways of thinking, people's proneness to certain tendencies, and the energetic tension that happens between certain people.

people can say otherwise that it’s pseudoscience. even though there are numerous studies built on real-world observations, the large-scale statistical data like from victor talanov. there's school of system socionics who emphasize its practice. it would be impossible to add all the evidence i can to support my claims to this post but you can see for youself - there are still countless new articles being published from different authors. regardless of that, even if it isn't accepted within the rigors of “scientific canon” i really dont give a fuck since it absolutely does indeed have explanatory and predictive power, and that’s all i care about. i’m confident in this not only through firsthand experience, the ability to frame what i know to be true about the real world within it and have it successfully describe those things, as well as talking to other people about my observations.

additionally, i see people make conclusions about interpersonal dynamics where they unknowingly repeat information that can be derived from socionics concepts.

something i noticed a LOT and ive repeatedly thought about and come to the same conclusion multiple times is that i think i naturally might "embody" the most optimal ways of interacting with other people for myself. it gives me insight into the nature of the personal relationships that i already procure in my life, but it’s not really a self-fulfilling prophecy because i dont use socionics to prescribe who i "should" be friends with. that's silly. thats a silly thing to do because people do have idiosyncracies that don't perfectly align with a system if you rigidly adhere to it, so you're bound to be set up for failure if you try to force that and you will be disappointed. it's better to let these feelings happen naturally without pretense, because that's where the observations that fuel my insight comes from.

i have a subconscious sense for who i will be able to get along with in the long term almost instantly without the need for any kind of system, just based on their actual mannerisms and “vibes”, but that alone is not good enough for me, i want to know why. socionics just gives me tools to figure out why so that i know what im dealing with and its not just ineffable energies, but i can put a name to those energies to think and talk about it and compare and discover patterns in what ive curated in my inner circle over my life, what i feel drawn towards. and indeed i do find plentiful amounts of recurring patterns. the simplification and abstraction is not to destroy the soul and expression of individuals but to wrap my head around them and understand them deeper in relation to everything else, including myself.

i am aware it can be confusing for many people which turns them away. but if theres any questions you have or youre confused about any concepts i can answer them

but yeah um, i’ve really only scratched the surface of this cognitive cybernetic tool. if you are genuinely interested in what i have to say and want me to talk more about it please openly tell me since i’m not a mind reader! i assume disinterest by default.

anyway if you got to this point thanks for reading. i wanted to just put it out there for context about any posts i make in the future. just stating my honest thoughts and whats been occupying my mind for the past two years.

be on the lookout for the john and aradia analysis soon where i’ll use it in practice to deconstruct some things about those characters. and if you’re coming to this post from that analysis after ive posted it, i’m sorry this post is so long in the middle of an already long-ish post. i just thought the context was important.

[the-book-in-the-mirror]

Mary Plays Pokemon Gaia - Part I: the beginning [Reposted from Twitter]

Hi! I'm @miyamoris and this is my blog for essays, let's plays and other more thought-out posts and conversations. To kick off the blogging, I'm bringing my Pokemon Gaia playthrough, styled after forums screenshot let's plays. (I'm not a video person. Sorry!)

I started this playthrough two years ago - it's hardly a long game but took me a while to finish it for... reasons. The first posts are reproductions from the original Twitter threads that I'd rather archive somewhere more reliable. The only thing I'll change is formatting so they flow better as blog posts. It's very likely the posterior updates will look different in style - instead of posting as I play like I did before, I have already finished the game and took a bunch of screenshots to organize while memory is still fresh. This is the first time I post let's plays on tumblr so I'm still discovering what works better.

For those who doesn't know, Pokemon Gaia is a Pokemon FireRed romhack created by Spherical Ice. Right now it's completed up to the Elite Four and thecomplete game with post-game and all is currently being overhauled as a Emerald hack. This hack is pretty popular for getting the exact feel of an official pokemon game plus some impressive technical achievements like perfectly reproducing the Mega Evolution system from gen VI into a 3rd gen rom.

Without more delays, let's begin. Enjoy!

[Original Thread]

let's goooo

-> #maryplaysgaia for my organizing and your muting convenience

Right off the bat, I already like the player sprite - it's visibly drawing from the FRLG sprite but it's well-done.

The Orbtus region map - the game seems to revolve strongly around archaeology (the professor in the intro says he's an archaeologist (typed it right on the first try!)) so it's unsurprising to find a lot of caves and ruins there.

Running shoes before even getting a starter! lovely game!!

I won't do a whole let's play-like thread summarizing every game bit but I'll try to keep threading the most notable game moments and whatever observation I have.

REALLY LOVELY GAME though tbh I am not sure if we even have gyms in this region

So for now an iffy lady asked back a book I got from the library, there's a lot involving earthquakes and instead of getting a mon in a lab, you meet the professor in a library.

Okay this is funny

The starters are 4th gen starters - this game has up to 6th gen mons and mechanics (updated type chart, physical/special split etc.)

Empoleon is easily my fave among those so I'm grabbing piplup. they tell you their nature right once you chose them too.

- there's no rival battle for now, it seems

- you don't see the exact pokemon IVs but they give you an idea how well the mon is faring there

...and yeah I ended up picking another piplup cause those E's were grating me. look, it only took five minutes.

Rival battles you (another neat sprite) after you talk to the professor and get a bunch of stuff and instructions. which is cool to me, cause I just got a neat taillow.😎

NOT CALM NATURE COME ON

Okay so there's the professor asking teens to help him investigate fucking earthquakes and a subquest about a missing weedle and I just got into this special room with a clefairy boss??

Girlboss team!

YOOOOOO

Ariados isn't too good but I could do a few things with this one in the early game.

Early game team: done ✅though I expect a few of these to stick around beyond that.

I just realized I've been writing this thread for nearly two hours and it's lacking a better overview of the game so:

- You're travelling through a region where an ancient civilization was supposedly wiped by earthquakes

- There are tremors happening again now so you're working with this region's ProfessorTM to investigate it. Your rival is very the May/Brandon 3rd gen type of rival (assistant that is pretty chill)

(Thread content will continue on the next post. Apparently tumblr does not want me to post more than 30 images. Ah well!)

[evergreensounds]

its been a minute, hope youve been doing well

i honestly dont know too much about led zeppelin but ive been following the srs22 tag a little bit and i think youre the second person to answer that type of question with LZ lol. i did some research and yeah, i gotta agree with you. jimmys a shitty dude

thats a neat cover!! its so simple but yet so expressive. i always love covers that show you the actual artist behind the songs. its like getting a little glimpse into who they are

omg so do you have a playlist for weird songs?? i love fun, kind of humorous songs that tell a story so transfusion was a fun listen!

and yeahh i started getting odd vibes from hank when i listened to a song where he went on and on about sin and the devil and whatever else. i guess i didnt go deep enough to hear the misogynistic stuff but the normal songs were fun. but dont be sorry about any perceived negativity!! i think its important to be aware of both the good and the bad

also about the celebrating christmas thing, i can relate. i live with family so i go along with it, and even though theyre christian theyre not too weird about it thankfully. i just enjoy the festivities

-🦈 (i realized i totally forgot to sign off with this last time immediately after saying id use it. oops)

im not surpised people hate on Jimmy Page.

I do know a lot of weird songs but I looked into the lyrics of some of them and they were all just about being violent to women. I know it's not necessarily an expression of their desires or sometimes it even is to represent cruelty. I'm not feeling them right now.

Luckily the ones that are similar to Transfusion aren't like that mostly

There's trouble brewin by Jack Scott weirdd

Uranium Fever by Elton Britt

I also know a lot of music that is weird because it sounds very ethereal and or weird and out of time.

Some artists I recommend here are: Branko Mataja (not only his album covers are really good), Joe Meek (legendary producer but what discussion about him there is is rarely about his work but about his tragic and messy life), Charlie Megira, Link Wray and Mamman Sani. I feel like these guys get usually labeled outsider, a term I don't particularly like because it treats queer and mentally ill or just generally weird people like Zoo Exhibitions while not actually having any stylistic consistency.

However the four guys I mentioned above do have similarities like a focus on lo-fi instrumental music, use of electric equipment/sounds/instruments that haven't been done in the way they did (Charlie Megira technically doesn't use technology/sound in a way the others do, considering he was mostly active in the last 20 years, but he uses it in ways his predecessors did without giving it a commercialised sheen while also carving out some darker and noisier sounds)

My opinion on outsider music is definitely complicated because the art of people that are othered by our society is important, but a lot of audiences are very weird about it, and it does more bad than good to focus on arbitrary similarities in the lives/experiences of musicians while ignoring their waaaast differences. Like none of the five artists above ever met and except for Link Wray and Branko Mataja who lived in America weren't even living on the same continent meaning they definitely weren't a scene or something.

It's also worth noting that being mentally ill doesn't define somebody's art, meaning that poining at somebodys art and saying they could only have created it because they were mentally ill is dumb.

Not to mention that a lot of "outsider" artists were diagnosed and institutionalised at a point in time where mental illness was understood very differently and diagnosis was used as a way to other/label people who did not conform.

Thanks for letting me rant about a subject I am deeply interested in.

[muirneach]

okay well i practiced guitar and i have not played in like two or three months but it was very nice and fun i just sat and sang my silly folk songs while reading off of ultimate guitar tabs. anyways if you’ve never been to toronto for labour day weekend there’s this event called the airshow where they get the fucking military jets and do tricks or whatever. which is fine i guess except they fly directly over my house and are loud as hell. and this will happen until monday kill me now. anyways so it was interesting singing phil ochs with that going on. but it got too loud so i stopped. nonetheless i’m still able to play guitar 👍

[nonbaznary]

ao3 tag game ✨

thank you so much @wellbelesbian for tagging me in this! i really liked reading your answers, lol. sorry it took so long to post this, but here it is!!

how many works do you have on ao3?

currently i have 28! i deleted a few last year, unfortunately, but i’ll work this year to get that work count higher 🤲

what’s your total ao3 word count?

31522! weird number but i’ll take it

how many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

on ao3, five. or, i guess, technically four, because two of them are Carry On Series and Simon Snow & Related Fandoms. the other three are BIG BARF EW EW EW Voltron: Legendary Defender, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe and Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. ew. ew. i have this thing- sticking to fandoms for authors and sometimes even works i now hate. anyways, i want to start writing for other fandoms too. i used to do stuff for riordanverse (mainly percy jackson, and i still have some WIPs), miraculous ladybug (not the greatest, but im watching it with my lil sis and its fun to try to fix that shit) and uhh i think it was the dragon prince? and she-ra and carmen sandiego? which were fun. so yeah!

what are your top five fics by kudos?

5. Maybe we just lived between hurting and healing

Gen, m/m, snowbaz

After a whole life of hurting, Simon and Baz finally get to healing. Baz adores it.

4. Of queer weddings and family parties

Gen, m/m, snowbaz

Baz and Simon are loudly queer in family events, especially now that they're engaged.

3. Move, I'm gay

T, gen

Inspired by the tweet: "sobbing at this lil girl at target. dad tries to get her a dress and she just YELLS “no I’m GAY I CAN’T” and her dad just sighs so loudly and goes “no you’re not gay, I’m gay. You’re five.”" Or: bad gay humor is generational, and often unintentional! - for @sharing-a-room-with-an-open-fire

2. Here, kitty-kitty…

T, gen + m/m, snowbaz

Simon adopts a cat. Baz pretends to hate him. It's probably safer for everyone this way… - for the @carryon-anon-fest

1. (Spend my days) Dreaming 'bout you

Gen, m/m, snowbaz

Life has been amazing for Simon and Baz. Simon can't stop daydreaming about their future together. He has a million questions to ask Baz. That's easier said than done, though. Written for the Carry On Exchange (Baz's Birthday Flash Round!) - for @letraspal

do you respond to comments? why or why not?

yeah, totally! i mean, at least i try to 🥲 im not really active on ao3 (and not always logged in because i forget to check that) but every time i get in i try to check my inbox and answer as much comments as i can, even if theyre just replies. i LOVE feedback on my fics and i think chatting about fics is really cool

what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

👁👁👁👁👁 uhhh

ive had some pretty bad angst fics. all hurt, no comfort, definitely no happy endings. a lot of main character deaths and shit like that.

BUT none of these are still up, so i’ll go with one that is and i actually remember- recently, (I'll shut my mouth) I'll let you go, which is my least read and interacted fic ever (i mean, FAIR) a nicodemus & fiona fic from when he was Turned. yknow, the nice stuff

have you ever received hate on a fic?

no, i dont think so? not that i recall. ive had people whod send me like . personal hate? but still loved my fanfiction and told me so lol. but i dont think ive ever gotten hate on a fic. if i have, i completely forgot about it, or just straight up never saw it

do you write smut? if so, what kind?

not really? ive experienced and tried to get into it some little time ago but its not really my sort of thing. guess its still too awkward and embarrassing for my developing queer little brain. a few friends keep reminding me to try my hand at that because we do have fun talking about it lol, and im curious to see how itd turn out. and id definitely like to try to write some fics with more of a hint of seggsual stuff and not feel like crap for it!

have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope! (or not that i know of…)

have you ever had a fic translated?

ive been asked if people could translate my fics to spanish (and one in english when i wrote more in portuguese) but ive never actually seen my translated fics posted? 🤔 im fairly sure someone sent me, like, in DMs, a translation of one of my fics, but i dont think it ever saw the light of day

what’s your all-time favourite ship?

i dont really do those! i mean, that definitely are some ships that i will treasure for a long time, but i dont really choose all-time favourites for basically anything fandom-related. my taste changes very often, so thats not reallt a thing for me fkkdkdkd right now, its snowbaz, obviously (snowshaz is also starting to grow a lot in my lil polyamlm heart)

have you ever co-written a fic before?

i have! i used to do that ALL THE TIME when i first got into fanfiction, but lately not so much. i miss it though, it was such fun, and it helped me get even more ideas for fics. we'd have groupchats for fics, and sometimes even go like RPG-wise to develop scenes / dialogue. when i stopped co-writing often, i would still pitch in with a few chapters / scenes for my friends’ fics, and they’d do the same for mine. i loved it, and i think the readers thought it was fun too!, but i stopped writing frequently altogether so its harder to do that, i guess. maybe now that im getting back into writing in general i’ll get back into that too. also, renée and i are planning to co-write something soon, so !!

what’s a wip you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

wow, so many of my WIPs fit into this... my post break up art teacher simon fic. my band au. full like the moon, which is an exes-to-friends-to-lovers thing i think i posted the prologue to. the watford drama society au. most of my longfics, probably. lol

i have a bunch of fics that i might not even actually start writing. like, self indulgent fics that arent coherent at all and dont make any fucking sense. fics that are basically just a few random scenes splashed together and left aside. i like them, but... eh

what are your writing strengths?

queer stuff. angst angst and angst, i guess. people usually say im good with humor, and dialogues, so these!

what are your writing weaknesses?

as it probably became clear, if it wasnt already obvious; long fics! planning, actually writing a BUNCH of shit, and getting to the end. endings, in general, aren’t really my jam

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fics?

i like it! dont really have a problem with the concept in general, but i do think its decent to leave the translations in the notes (or make it really, really obvious from context if possible)

what was the first fandom you wrote for?

harry potter, i think! i discovered fanfiction with harry potter, more specifically the marauders fandom, bc i used to look things up about them and only fanworks wouldve touched the subject 🥲 so thats what started my interest in fic

what’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

this is a hard one, because all my current favorites are still WIPs ✨✨✨ as in, do you want me (dead)? and my golden AU, mostly. but im really fond of And if you have nightmares, we’ll dance on the bed. i loved writing it, i love baz and penny’s relationship, and i think people should pay more attention to penelope’s trauma, because it's definitely there. it felt good to adress it. also note how literally all of these are named afted songs / lyrics LMAOOOO

tagging @thesebookishdelights / @aqueeriano / @punkjuliandiaz because i said i would 😌😌

[logan-is-noggin]

Wisdom Teeth

Summary: bucky takes care of you after getting your wisdom teeth removed.

word count- 1081

y/n woke up in a reclined chair that was covered in plastic, fluorescent lights flickered and she groaned from it stinging her eyes. a woman in matching blue shirt and pants with a paper mask pulled over her nose walked over to where she lay. " how are you feeling y/n? finally waking up, i see." she narrowed her eyes slightly at the nurse. " wath i not awake? i thought i wath." she said stumbling around the words. the nurse smiled. " you were napping for a bit while got our work done." " what wor-" she tried to talk around the gauze filling her mouth. the nurse stepped to the side of her chair. she reached her hand into y/n's mouth and pulled a red wet clump from one cheek, then the other. y/n looked up at her with disgust. " why am i bleeding!" " you had your wisdom teeth removed. your gums will be bleeding for a while, dont worry." you blinked a few times, your body suddenly feeling very heavy, letting yourself fall back against the chair. after placing new gauze in its place, the nurse stepped away leaving y/n with her thoughts. using her tongue, she counted her teeth. " one, two, three..." she mumbled. several times she had to start over because she couldn't figure out where tooth number fifteen started and tooth fourteen ended. while she was busy counting she didn't notice the nurse back with a wheel chair. the nurse pressed a lever that lifted the back of the chair to an upright position. " c'mon, your friends are here to take you home" she helped y/n stand up and sit down in the wheel chair. "-was counting." she complained, but the nurse just pushed the chair forward. the sudden movement made y/n's head spin and she gripped the arms of the chair. ' slow down!' but when the nurse didn't, she realized she musnt have said anything out loud. when y/n was brought into the waiting room of the hospital, bucky was at the front desk talking to the receptionist. she handed him a zip-lock bag filled with something and a few papers. the nurse had helped you out of the chair as bucky greeted you. " how are you feeling, doll?" you tilted your head in confusion" i thought i was a human." y/n proceeded to pinch a piece of skin to check that they were indeed still made of flesh. bucky shook his head. " they drugged you up good, huh?" he wrapped his covered metal hand around your waist and guided you out of the hospital. " you remember what you came here for?" bucky quizzed " of course. i sold them my teef-" y/n mumbled. you reached for your mouth, the gauze was beginning to bother you, but bucky took your hand in his " ah, ah. dont go messing with your mouth, you might mess up the stitches." " bu' mouf hurts' " you complained with a frown. y/n and bucky reached his car, Sam was waiting, his phone in hand. " we'll take care of the pain once we get home." he promised. you nodded. " can i drive?" you slurred reaching for the driver side door. " um no, id like to live please." Sam said as he laughed. you noticed Sam had his phone in his hand and he followed you with it. bucky opened the back seat and made you duck your head so you wouldn't hit it. " get in back with her so she doesn't try anything.." " why cant i drive?" Sam said back. " you didn't have to come with me, but you wanted to film her right?" Sam acquiesced and the three made their way home.

FRIDAY announced their return as they stepped out of the elevator into the compound. bucky still supported y/n as she walked, Sam followed, phone at the ready in case your drug attled brain came up with any more comedic ramblings. tony and Bruce were looking at a white board when Sam came up to them. it was also tonys idea to get y/n on camera after getting surgery, he had done the same when peter got his wisdom teeth removed the previous year.

" you guys have to watch this!" Sam said excitedly as he handed tony his phone, " just hit play.

the recording showed y/n in the backseat, she was writing something with her finger in mid air while she spoke " but the symbol for iron is Fe, and man is the same as male. so technically, iron-man translate to Fe- male. that makes iron-man a woman." then all that was heard was Sam and buckys laughter.

tony paused the phone and tossed it back " jokes on all three of you, peppers made that joke five times since mark II." bucky had taken y/n down one of the hallways that led to her apartment.it was so everyone that lived at the compound had a private space. he opened the door and helped y/n sit on her bed. she kicked her shoes off and pulled them under her. she tried to pull her blanket around her shoulders but it was stuck under her. when bucky came back with a glass of water he helped wrap the blanket around her. " 'kay, the doctor gave me this list to help you recover. " he opened the zip lock bag and pulled a pile of gauze out along with a smaller bag of capsules. " " first i gotta take the gauze out."  he had a piece all folded up at the ready. " open up doll.." so she did

" i miss you." bucky gave y/n a confused look as he reached into her cheeks to pull the bloodied gauze out. " what are you talking about, im right here." she shook her head. " no. we shouldn't 'ave broke up." she said, mouth fill of fresh gauze. bucky winced ever so slightly, knowing it wasn't right to talk about that subject with you inebriated. he handed y/n a pill and helped her take small sips till it went down. " we- we can talk about that stuff later, right now you should get some rest." y/n laid down, wrapping herself tighter in the blanket, and was soon asleep, the medicine quickly taking over. bucky watched her for a minute until her breathing evened out. he bent over, pressing a quick kiss to y/n's head before closing the door behind him as he left.

Part two

it was a few hours later since bucky had left y/n passed out in her room. bucky had spent all evening replaying those words in his head. thanks to the serum, he was able to hear when there were movements coming from y/ns room, and bucky went to go check on here, and more importantly, get some answers

bucky and y/n had dated for a while after she joined shield a while back, and bucky wouldn't admit it to anyone else, but when y/n broke things off after a measly four weeks of dating, it hurt.

bucky knocked on the semi open door of y/ns room and waited until she acknowledged him " hey, come in." she sounded much more sober than the last time they spoke. y/n was currently folding up a piece of gauze and tucking it into her gums where the teeth had been recently removed " whaths up?" she tried to speak around the cotton

" just wanted to check on you, see if you needed help." he said casually, " looks like the drugs wore off. you were acting pretty crazy for a while before." he said with a smirk.

" and i know the guys aren't gonna let me live down whatever i did to embarrass myself this time." she agreed. bucky sighed as he took a step inside the room further, " actually, i was hoping we could talk about something" he asked nervously, but y/n didn't seem to notice this and simply pat the spot on the bed, so bucky sat down

" before you passed out, i was changing your gauze, you said that you missed me. like, when we were dating.." y/ns eyebrows knit closer together " i did?" bucky nodded y/n shrugged " i guess i was just feeling sentimental. " she did remember the good moments they had together

" you also said you wanted to get back together. and i wanted to know, do you?" the question pained the both of them, and there was a silence that filled the space before y/n shifted in the bed " theres part of me that wishes we could, but i broke up with you remember?"

bucky nodded " i still think it was a sad excuse-"

" i know it was. but its the truth, my only experiences with guys lead up to me getting hurt. all forms of love ive witnessed only ends up with heartbreak, i was only trying to save you the trouble of getting attached and getting hurt like i did." she admitted.

"for what its worth, the last thing i ever want is to hurt someone,and how do you know if you never give us a real chance?" he asked

" you're right, and maybe once i dont have too many holes in my head, we could try again?" y/n asked softly. bucky leaned forward and kissed her forehead " id like that."

[hmslusitania]

Can you tell me why you chose to focus on 13th century history? 😊

Okay so, technically, I didn’t. I ended up writing my master’s thesis analysing the motivations of the Albigensian Crusade, because my original thesis proposal would’ve required about 10 more years of schooling, a minimum of 800 pages, and probably for me to be at a different university because at least when I was in the medieval studies programme there, Trinity College did not have a crusades specialist.

My original historical focus in undergrad was actually the back half of the 11th century, which features some of the greatest hits of the European Middle Ages (the investiture controversy, the Norman invasion of England, the first crusade, etc).

I ended up writing my thesis on the Albigensian Crusade because in the first half of the year I had taken (another) class on the first crusade and had ended up writing my term paper about the holy lance discovery at Antioch and its effect on Count Raymond of Toulouse’s bid for the kingship of Jerusalem, and part of the research I had done for that paper meant I read a biography of him and it included his family, the counts of Toulouse. Who were all absolutely whackadoodle mad, over the following generations, culminating with their complete disinvestiture (I may have made this word up just now) and extinction in the male line as a result of the Albigensian Crusade. And so when my initial proposal led my thesis advisor to stare at me in an extremely upsetting German-man-with-splendiferous-goatee way until I said I’d revise and come back, the Albigensian Crusade and the dissolved County of Toulouse came to mind.

In popular culture, you would’ve heard of the Albigensian Crusade because of the Cathars and possibly the siege of Montsegur, the slightly apocryphal phrase “kill them all and let God sort them out”, or possibly because of either the Da Vinci Code or the book/miniseries Labyrinth by Kate Mosse (the miniseries stars Jessica Brown Findlay, Katie McGrath, Vanessa Kirby, SebStan, and John Hurt???? Oh, and Tom Felton in the world’s worst wig).

As to why the crusades in general, I am extremely not religious. I was not raised in any religion, not one of my four parents is religious, I think Ive been to church four times in my life and they were all like. Weird Christmas services when I was visiting other people’s relatives. I ended up taking medieval history classes in college because I like high fantasy stuff and I’m a sucker for swords and castles and stuff, and then we got to the crusades. These absolutely abhorrent atrocities that were inflicted upon thousands of people. (“Fun” fact - the guy who coined the word genocide referred to the Albigensian Crusade as the first one.) And I sat there in class listening to my professor tell us that they were motivated in large part by religion and religious zeal. And I, completely non-religious, went “Im sorry what?!”

And then spent the next five years of my life trying to comprehend how any of that worked and every time I tried to do a topic in medieval history that wasn’t the crusades it felt like a scab in the back of my head because I still didn’t understand what had happened there. And to be honest with you? I wrote an entire masters thesis on the topic and an undergraduate thesis on the topic and. I still don’t understand.

If I ever do a PhD maybe I’ll do medieval astronomy instead.

Anyway this is presumably WAY more than you bargained for when you asked so sorry about that.

Its honesty hour!

[lollybliz]

bout to make a Monster of a fic rec post here we go

heyo @jinx108! We’ll start with the complete ones because sometimes you’re just not in the mood to wait for the last chapter, you know? I don't remember details of all of these so i’m just going to copy the author’s summary rather than write my own. I am literally just going through my bookmarks, I got 400 of these to sort through. if ive talked to or am familiar with the author im gonna mention them, but if I mention you and you don't want me to have Please tell me and i’ll remove it.

If you’re not into spoilers Please Tread Carefully, I don't watch out for that stuff so I wont know to label it

1>Crushing Truth by Bunzuku: Tododeku. “Romance is hard enough for a teenager to understand when they have a good relationship role model. For Shoto, it takes two excited meddlers for him to even realize what his feelings really are.“

2>Disowned by b00mgh: tododeku + others. Unrated, some traumatic elements. “Shouto freaks out under a bridge and I use the word "grass" a lot more than I really should. Izuku does his stupid martyr thing and everyone makes continuous references to his propensity to break his bones. Aizawa goes "oh FUCK my kids are dying again" and his students use him as emotional (and physical) support. A friend requests angst, I say what kind, she say idk make someone get disowned and i say oh this I can absolutely provide my good buddy.”

3>cotton candy hands by @chonideno: Kiribaku. I will take Any excuse to rec this fic, its the most fluffy pile of feels Good Lord. also the first fic I ever bound into a physical book. “Studying to become a hero requires knowing how to take care of yourself. Sometimes you might need help on the way so if your crush offers to do your hair for you or to give you a well-deserved back rub, it'd be stupid to say no. A series of soft vignettes in which a love-struck Kirishima and a touch-starved Bakugou care for each other and it's definitely not making their hearts jump through hoops, they’re never this close to kissing, no, they're totally best friends bro“

4>Catching Sight of the Storm by neo7v: Kiribaku, tododeku. A considerable amount of Whump and related angst, and kinda sad tbh. “Blind. Quirkless. Useless.The first two things were stated clearly by the doctor that sat about five feet in front of Izuku. The third was a word that Kacchan called him everytime he failed to make the jump on whatever forest excursion they were on or when he ran into a tree because he hadn’t seen it. “I’m so, so sorry, Izuku.” Was his mom giving up on him already? But he could still be a hero if he tried hard enough, right? Quirkless or not. Blind or not. Just because Izuku was useless now didn’t mean he would stay that way forever, right? *** A Blind!Izuku AU”

5>Yell Heah by fakecharliebrown: Chatfic. M a n y pairings. technically complete, but part of an ongoing series. “Iida creates a group-chat for Class 1-A. It doesn't go as planned.“

6>Sunshine by Rosey_Note: BIG SAD. tw- failed suicide attempt. KiriKamiBaku. “They didn't deserve to put up with his crappy mood. Because Denki Kaminari did not feel like Sunshine right now. And they deserved sunshine. In fact, Denki didn't feel much of anything right now.“

7>Electric Connection by  Onlymostydead: ShinKami. “Kaminari's quirk has always had... Weird side affects. Like his ADHD. And his constant energy. And his insomnia, which wouldn't leave him be right now, when he really needed to just get some sleep. But, thankfully, he has good friends.“

8>The Best (The Worst) by Onlymostydead: no romantic pairing. tw- rampant transphobia, both outside and internalized. “Bakugou Katsuki has known who he was since he was four years old. He was a boy, it was as simple as that. Around his friends, at school... But things couldn't just be that simple, could they?“

9>Lichtenberg Figures by Q_loves_you: no definite romantic pairing. “Kaminari Denki has a very powerful force of nature running through his body. Kaminari Denki doesn't want to hurt anybody. He doesn't always get what he wants, and "anybody" does generally include himself.“

10>Eventuality by KikaTouka: ill be honest I don't remember this one at all, I maaaay not have read it yet :/. anyway. ShinKami. “Shinsou learns more than just hero lessons after being transferred to 1-A.“

11>Pickup Lines for the Soul by MustardSoup: ShinKami. “Denki is twelve when he is flicking through the TV channels and lands on an old RomCom movie about soulmate marks – specifically the same type that he has. “I can’t believe I’ve had to walk around with a cheap pickup line written on my ankle my entire life because of you!” The leading lady yells at the leading man as he stares at her in awe. Denki laughs. “Oh no.” His mother says, watching him. “Oh no, indeed.” His sister repeats quietly.“

12>caught in my own web by @anxioussailorsoldier: ShinKami. “Shinsou needs some help after getting caught up in his capture weapon. Kaminari enters from stage left.“

13>not so summer love by nataliya: ShinKami. “Class 2-B’s common room, although typically quiet, was currently filled with five students—three slowly giving up on homework, one bitching about noise and another that rushes through the front door. “We’ve been waiting for you—” Mina starts, but Kaminari’s vaulting over the back of the couch, eyes wide as he practically buzzes out of his skin, emitting light like crazy as currents dazzle across strands of hair. “I have a big ugly crush,” He steps off the couch and onto the coffee table, much to Bakugou’s chagrin, “On big ugly Shinsou.””

14>Blamed by coldandhotsoba: ShinKami. Tw- they fuckin kill a guy and its a lil nasty. “This was not how the day was supposed to end. They were supposed to end the day like they do most nights.  Kaminari clutching onto him like a koala as he slept, wrapped in the millions of tacky blankets Kaminari had bought. Warm and safe in their bed. It was not supposed to end with both of them tied up in some cold metal room.“

15>Lightning Scars by Present-Mics-Scream (write_your_way_out): Shinkami. “It's hard to be confident in your abilities when you're surrounded by people with incredible quirks. Shinsou Hitoshi would know better than anyone. Sure, he was admitted to the hero course in his second year, but being admitted to the hero course, and keeping up with the rest of the class are two different things. Lucky for him, Kaminari is there to prove that the flashiest quirks come with the largest drawbacks.“

16>See No Evil, Hear No Evil by randomfan188: no romantic pairing. “Kaminari Denki is legally blind. When he forgets to wear his contacts and breaks down during math class, comfort appears in the strangest of ways.“

17>how not to enjoy the weather, an article by kaminari denki by dreamtowns: no defined romantic pairing. “If there was one thing Kaminari hated the most in a world wth villains, it would have to be thunderstorms.“

18>”Studying” by emmyrox22: ShinKami, EraserMic. “Shinsou and Kaminari have been “studying” together for a while (but not for school). Shinsou gets stopped by his dads on the way to another “study” session and mistakes are made“

19>Weaknesses by sunflowerstorm: ShinKami. “Kaminari's quirk and storms compliment each other in the worst way, but he's convinced he can deal with it on his own... until he really can't any longer. When Shinsou accidentally overhears Aizawa confronting Kaminari about recent changes in behaviour and hears about the hell his quirks been putting him through, he can't just pretend he never heard. He wants to help.“

20>it’s hurt denki hours by memeingfultrash: ShinKami + others. ““Certain members of our class are...under the impression that...you’re the traitor.” Denki’s body went cold and felt like he was going to short circuit. ~some of class 1a believes that denki is the traitor and avoid him”

21>Petition to replace Mineta with Shinsou- (signed by Kaminari Denki) by CharaTheQuartz: ShinKami + others. This is one of my favorites, I go back to reread it from time to time. It SAYS 41/42, but that's just a glitch cus chapter 36 doesn't exist for some reason, I talked to the author about it and its fine. “Mineta brings shame to the color purple. You know who does not bring shame to the rich color, but pride and sexual tension to one infatuated Kaminari Denki instead? Shinsou Hitoshi, aka sexy zombie man, aka the most perfect hunk of a man to walk planet earth, aka future husband. Shinsou has finally gotten his chance to prove himself to the hero course, and he did more than prove himself. The only question left unanswered is whether he will start in A or B, and how Kaminari can manipulate the end result.“

22>How to Get a Boyfriend (in Four Easy Steps!) by e1ana: ShinKami, EraserMic, + others. “Step 1: Get kicked out of the house by your homophobic parents. Step 2: Run headfirst into your brooding, mysterious crush. Step 3: Sleep in his dad’s (see: your homeroom teacher) house Step 4: Watch everything you thought you knew go to shit. This isn’t exactly the sweet, romantic plan that Kaminari Denki longed for. Will everything be ok, or will step 5 be to crash and burn?“

23>Bakugou and Todoroki’s Foolproof 5-Step Plan to Fuck with Mineta Minoru by Anubis_2701: Kiribaku, TodoDeku, + others. This is another one of my favorites, and the one I am currently folding and sewing into a physical book. you learn how to do funny things when bored and quarantined ig. “It was a simple enough idea; screw around with the resident bastard of Class 1-A to let him know that his medieval ways and perverted behaviour weren't going to be tolerated by even the most career-focused of UA's students. To say that things had snowballed was an understatement. Todoroki had no idea how he had ended up sitting on Bakugou's floor at 1 am, holding a dossier of incriminating material that would make the FBI slobber, but he wasn't sure he wanted to know. The long and short of it was, fuck Mineta.”

24>Colour Theory by chancellorxofxtrash: TodoBakuDeku. this one’s a series. “Midoriya/Bakugo/Todoroki slow burn soulmate AU. All three of them are nerds with their own emotional issues, trying to navigate their way through becoming heroes, and their own relationship with each other.“

25>Summer Sunshine by Mara97: TodoDeku. Ever want a Barbie in a mermaid tale/Bnha crossover? No? well here you go anyway! “Instead of worrying about college, Izuku spends his summer vacation finding out his father is, supposedly, a dead merman king and going on a quest to dethrone the current king, Endeavor. Along the way, Izuku becomes close to the three journeying with him, makes friends with strangers, starts crushing on an unattainable prince, and, in the end, learns to love himself. Oh, and he saves a kingdom, too.“

26>The snowflakes on our skin and the flames in our soul are one (and the same), my love by missunderstuffyou: TodoDeku, Kiribaku. this is one of the ones I keep a running reread comment going on. its at,,, 6, atm.  “Before your quirk begins to present itself, the soulmate link comes through, and suddenly whatever you write upon your own skin appears on the body of your soulmate. As your soulmate writes to you, the emotions they feel follow through the ink.Izuku Midoriya is four years and a few months old when he first feels the slight ebbing in his arms. It doesn’t hurt… he can just feel something, and it’s enough to make him sprint into his mother’s arms screaming that his quirk is coming. She had been washing in the kitchen, and the sudden screech as her son rockets into her side is enough to make her jump with panic, immediately grabbing at him and looking for cuts and bumps before she understands his words and the stupidly bright, alight smile on his face with large, watery, hopeful eyes. Shoto Todoroki doesn’t feel his soulmate connection open up. It is drowned in the aches of a small body worked far too hard.“

27>It was dark inside the closet by Chad_Champion69420: Pre-ShinDeku? maybe? its tagged shindeku but like. it’ll make sense if you read it. “Midoriya is invited to a party. He and Shinsou decide to play a little trick on the rest of the party during Seven Minutes in Heaven.”

28>how to woo your local trash gremlin: a comprehensive guide by Todoroki shouto by wonhaebunny: TodoBaku. this is the fic that dragged me into todobaku, fun fact. “five times shouto tries to confess to bakugou, and one time he doesn't bother tryingaka: wikihow is a scam and bakugou is a terrible, terrible boy“

29>top ten photos taken right before disaster by Shookspeare: ShinDeku. “Izuku participates in a harmless prank, only to end up ruining it and running for dear life.“

30>Secrets to Share by pechebaie: no definite romantic pairing. “Kirishima comes out first, and nothing changes. Kirishima and Kaminari still hang out to complain about class and talk about boys - and sometimes girls, too, in Kaminari’s case; he still plans stupid pranks with Sero that get them sent to the principal’s or nurse’s office every time; Ashido still kicks his ass at Mario Kart without hesitation; and Bakugou doesn’t get angry at him any more than he usually does.“

31>What One Hides by Pinalinet: TodoDeku. “All Might gives class 1-A an unusual assignment that results in Midoriya Izuku and Todoroki Shouto attending a weekly acting class. But with a mysterious villain targeting individuals without Quirks, and a developing issue of Todoroki's own, an after-school assignment is the least of their worries.“

32>whether or not we’re fated, we’re meant to be by juurensha: KINDA SPOILERY. TodoDeku + others. “Todoroki didn’t have a soulmark for most of his life.His siblings all did, but up until the day of the U.A. entrance exam, he had shoved the idea aside. It’s not like they could help him anyway. And then a 9 appears on his chest, and a green-haired boy barrels into his life with a fire and ice soulmark on his arms, and suddenly Todoroki cares very much about all this could mean.”

33>The Midnight Shift by meiishu @meiishu @totallytodoroki (idk which you’d rather I attach so I went with both): ShinKami. ““Hey Toshi,” Denki says, and he laughs, clearly embarrassed. He’s got on a jean jacket that did him absolutely no help and a white tee shirt that is currently stuck to his torso. It’s got a pikachu design in the center. “By any chance, do you sell umbrellas?” “You really went out in this weather.” Hitoshi deadpans, instead of dignifying that with an answer. or hitoshi works the midnight shift at the gas station, which also doubles as a pokestop for pokemon go. of course, denki is a regular.”

34>Rock the House by AkabaneKayo: ShinKami. “It wasn’t just his bed. It was his entire fucking room shaking. Only one thought crossed his mind at that moment: “Holy shit. My room is haunted.”“

35>Technically, they’re morning kisses by CharaTheQuartz: ShinKami. “Most nights, Shinsou cannot fall sleep. Neither can Kaminari. It seems counterproductive to have a sleepover then, but they try to make it work. And they fail, but that is okay.“

36>someone to call mine by nearly_theyre: ShinKami, EraserMic “From: Me wish you were here, denks From: kitten 💛💘💛 what if i was tho? OR Four times Denki snuck into Hitoshi's room and one time he walked through the front door.“

37>Pretty by Onlymostydead (noticing some repeat authors? me too): no definite romantic pairing. ���(Or, Kaminari still can't figure out bra clasps.) Kaminari has never really felt good about himself. Herself? Whichever way, not knowing doesn't make anything easier. Especially when he (she?) and Mina have their bodies swapped during training, and everything seems too right.“

38>If I offer you my hand, will you take it? by bleukitsune: Kiribaku. SPOILERY. ““Why?” Kirishima leaned back on his hands, trying to create some space between them. Too close. The ash-blond looked really nervous, his usually arrogant and cunning demeanor gone. “What do you see when you look at me? Kirishima is worried. Bakugou is hurting. After his confrontation with Midoriya, he finally reaches out to him. “

Theres way more but I haven't tagged them properly yet so that m a y come later if I can ever finish going through and adding my sorting tags.

and then a last few that Are Not Complete but im really very fond of them. not as many as id like to add, but my hands are getting tired tbh.

39>State of Mind by GuardianOfTheLoaf: no relationship YET but its looking like it’ll be either tododeku or shindeku, probably the former. EraserMic. tw- childhood neglect and severe depression. Izuku’s not a happy kid. “Izuku was a late bloomer, his quirk lying dormant until his tenth birthday when in a fit of emotion he grabs his mother and she disappears. With All Might slowly restoring his confidence Izuku begins the difficult journey into becoming a hero.“ 18/? chapters.

40>Izuku Eats His Problems by CosmicAce: ShinDeku. Izuku’s a flerkin, what more could you want? “His whole life, Izuku Midoriya was taught to keep his powers, his Quirk, hidden from the world. His kind were feared, hunted to near extinction because of it. He just wants to show people he’s different. That he can be a HERO. And nothing is going to stop him. Even if his Quirk IS like an eldritch abomination.“ 43/? chapters

and then probably my current favorite bnha fic- although it fights with Apertum Mortem for that spot but that ones d a r k and not here-

41>family of the year by periiwren: EraserMic. “Hitoshi is done. Done with moving around every few months to a couple that will scrutinize him and eventually dump him right back where he started. Good thing he’s well past his strike limit now- at least he can stay in one place, be content to age out of the system and finish out his training with Aizawa. Maybe transfer into the hero course, maybe be a hero- but none of that was guaranteed. The only thing for sure was that he was going to stay in that center for the rest of his childhood. Or so he thought- because Aizawa Shouta and Yamada Hizashi have other plans.“ 24/? chapters. we’ve been informed that this one’s gonne be l o n g and im Very Grateful.

42>Here There Be Dragons by here_and_there: pre-ShinDeku. “Izuku looked at the small circle Aizawa had motioned to in front of them. "I won't fit," he whispered, thinking. He raised his hand, tentatively. Sighing, Aizawa grumbled, "What?" "I-I have a question. Actually, two." His teacher just stared at him, unimpressed. Izuku continued. "Can we activate our quirks before we step into the ring?" Aizawa looked up into the sky, muttering something Izuku didn't hear. "If you must." "O-Okay. Uh, second question. You said we have to stay inside the circle, right?" "Yes." The man looked disappointed, not only in Izuku but in himself for letting the kid speak. "Great. Uh... does that include tails?"“ 6/? chapters.

43>Another Option by sandersonsister: TodoBakuDeku, Touya/Hawks, Dabi/Hawks. Potentially Spoilery, depends on whether horikoshi has the guts to confirm Touya. this one is waiting around the corner with a baseball bat, its really cute, and then r e a l l y painful. it might be getting better though. maybe. it might be getting worse. “When Touya stops his mother from hurting Shouto, he decides enough is enough. He needs to get out of this house and he's taking his baby brother with him.“ 33/? chapters.

That's it i’m done for now, oof. maybe ill edit more onto this post later, maybe i’ll just make another one. hope some of these work!

[hazzabeeforlou]

Fine Line Masterpost:

A breakdown, musically and lyrically 

In Fine Line, ‘raw honesty’ doesn’t really mean delving into the details of who Harry Styles is sleeping with, but rather it’s a glimpse into the world of a 25-year-old who is both deeply in love and who fucks up a lot; he’s given to sugary supplications, is plagued by jealousy, pouts at consequences, and struggles with understanding an inner self that keeps prodding him towards exploration of his identity.  

The album is constructed to be consumed by various factions of the fandom. There’s no getting away from the surface dedication of HS2 as an ode to a blonde supermodel with a delicious French accent whose new boyfriend’s father owns a gallery, a girl who has golden hair and blue eyes. I won’t be arguing that away, because it’s intentional, it’s meant to be the surface layer. 

The mantle is not the crust, though. Taken individually, each song can be seen as speaking to the queer experience in varied and complex ways, and I’ve seen some truly beautiful explorations of this angle. Especially with TPWK and FL, the anthemic solidarity with queer experience is astounding and gorgeous. I think it’s no accident that this broad take holds true as we zoom in and look at the complex details; Harry has written songs that speak both to this meaning and also hold incredibly personal and intimate significance between him and a partner (in this post we’ll call them Subject). 

I will be focusing on the album as a cohesive narrative in the context of it’s chronological, linear progression. Fine Line details an incredibly personal struggle; it’s a love letter, an at times embarrassing, self-loathing reflection on a love gone wrong, a love struggling, an emerging self, and a hope redeemed. 

Please feel free to ask questions if any of the technical stuff is confusing, but please also remember that these are my opinions, coupled with my analysis as a professional musician (meaning, hopefully I’m remembering those torturous years of theory dictation correctly!) 

Side A 

All four songs share an off-kilter-ness, a restless, unsettled, frantic feeling, as if Harry is balancing, undecided between throwing himself at the feet of the one he loves or pulling away. This is no illusion; the tonic base is missing from each song save WS (but even here the tonic is sabotaged in our ear, as we’ll discuss). We’re on a journey to side B; we start with a hope that sweet memories and lust can salvage love, and we end with Harry going his own way.

Golden: There are only two chords in this song, DM and CM7, the V and IV7 of the implied tonic, G Major. We never get to tonic though. We never touch that home base. The songs “da da da’s” give it a happier, peppier illusion than the text reveals. 

Harry is already broken, already reflecting and hopeless as the song begins. His intended listener, Subject - the sun, the golden one - waits for him in the sky, and is all he’s ever known. Subject has always browned his skin just right, but now, Harry reflects, perhaps has been too bright for him. (Is some aspect of Harry buried in the brilliance of Subject’s light?) This golden Subject is scared, though, scared Harry is so open. Harry doesn’t want to be alone, but he also needs to peel back edges of himself previously unexplored. Stepping into and away from light is a major theme for Harry, and this opening song sets that precedent. Subject is scared because “hearts get broken,” but Harry’s heart is already broken, so perhaps this refers not to interpersonal heartbreak, but situational. Harry recognizes he’s “out of his head...” BUT, he counters, “Loving you’s the antidote!” He naively gushes out poetry while Subject remains unconvinced. We establish an impasse. 

Watermelon Sugar: The Dm - Cm - Am6 - GM chord progression is an odd one; my best guess is that the song is in D minor, so the progression is: 

i, VII, v, IV

 That’s not typical in a minor key. Usually the leading tone note (in this case a C) is raised (so C#) making the five chord Major (V) not minor (v) and the seven chord diminished (viio) not Major (VII). also the Major IV ignores the B flat in the key signature of D minor and instead uses B natural. So all this to say that the tonic base STILL doesn’t feel like a tonic home, because the normalcy around the key signature is erased. Everything still feels unsettled, unresolved. 

Much has been made of the oral sex interpretation, so, ya. This is a song about remembering the best of times, a prayer to Subject, a plea for summertime and bellies and strawberries, and a feeling Harry is desperate to get back. 

Adore You: The three chords in this song, Cm - BbM - AbM, imply an E flat Major key, so vi, V, IV, respectively. The tonic, Eb (I), is (once again) never used, and instead vi, V, IV circle without ever coming to rest. 

Subject, “Honey,” creates a rainbow paradise. This is another love letter to Subject, let me adore you, I’ll walk through fire for you, you don’t have to say anything just listen to me, you don’t have to say you love me too, just please, please... you’ve been on my mind. Let me adore you like it’s the only thing I’ll ever do. By this wording, Harry admits that adoring Subject is not the only thing he ever does, yet he wishes Subject to remember, or imagine, this false reality. 

Lights Up: We’re in C Major here, with the chords Am - GM - FM, creating the same exact chord progression as Adore You, vi, V, IV. We (yet again!) never reach the tonic of C Major. It’s a constant tease of resolution, but there’s no solid home base. We’re suspended in limbo. 

Subject is “sorry, btw.” What does that mean, Harry asks? Sorry we’re here in this place, that this is happing? This song is Harry’s declaration: he’s not staying, he’s not coming back down. It would be sweet if things stayed the same, but no, I’m stepping into the light. “All the lights couldn’t put out the dark”... even all the golden sun of Subject couldn’t heal the void in Harry’s soul?  Harry asks subject, do you know who you are? implying that he’s determined to answer this for himself. I’m reminded of the crab in Moana, singing “Shiny.” There’s a certain bravado here, a reckless glittery happiness, a flaunting, an exuberance in discovery. 

Side B 

Tonics are all over the place. Harry is certainly certain about heartbreak. No ambiguity here. 

Cherry: GM - Em - CM, or  I, vi, IV. We’re in G Major and we know it. Repetitive “cou-cos’s” pepper the track like hanging fruit (let’s imagine from cherry trees). 

The song is a simple one, simple in its jealousy. Harry has let Subject go, and now Subject is at their best... and Harry hates it. He doesn't want his former pet term of endearment used on another, even though he has no claim on Subject’s actions anymore. Harry keeps finding bits of Subject in how he dresses. They’re not talking lately, and Harry perhaps is most upset that this separation isn’t going how he planned... Subject is at their best without him. 

The gallery line is inserted as a bridge, a unique line of music rather separate from the rest, an intentional narrative. But what’s most fascinating is the end of the song. The previous repetitive chord progression changes. Now we have 

GM - AM7 (an added C#) - Am7 (4/2 inversion) - GM

or I, II7, ii7, I

The “cou-cou” lands during the AM7 (the II7) and it lands EXACTLY on the note of B, extending the 7th chord to a ninth chord, before, on its second syllable, dropping to the A and holding there (a kind of suspension) while the chord progression resolves to the Am7 (ii7), making the A a chord tone. This is deliberate. Unless the whole piece was harmonically built around Camille’s random use of a B to A in a voicemail (also randomly in the perfect key for Harry’s voice) this was purposely recorded for aesthetic effect. I for one really love it, I could listen to breathy french girls mutter about beaches endlessly...

Falling: A straightforward progression. In the key of E Major,

 EM - C#m - BM - AM or I, vi, V, IV

With Falling, the only ballade on the album, we see Harry shift from jealousy to self destructive behavior. I don’t believe the ‘wandering hands’ line is about cheating (he and Subject were already apart) but rather, Harry seeking to wound Subject by turning to others. Communication is back open, because Subject says they care, they miss him too, but now Harry’s gone and fucked it all up. What have I become? What if Subject never needs me again? I can’t unpack the baggage they left. I just want Subject AROUND! Harry isn’t even begging for a romantic connection, he’s simply begging for Subject’s presence. He was so sure he could discover himself in LU, and now he keeps asking, what am I now? Who has he become on his own? He’s falling, and there’s no one to catch him. 

To Be So Lonely: This song waffles between two keys, just as Harry waffles between defending himself to Subject and finally, finally admitting (in just one small line) that he is, in fact, sorry. The song seems to start out in C Major, with CM and Am chords (I, iv) but then at the chorus the Am chord elides from a iv to a i, revealing the key is really A minor. The chorus goes on to be:

Am - GM - Em - FM 

or i, VII (lowered leading tone in minor), v (lowered leading tone in minor), VI

A fluttering mandolin mimics a fluttering heartbeat, and a folk music lilt gives the song a certain feel of heartbreak. 

Harry asks for Subject to not blame the drunk caller, likely himself. Harry was away. He missed Subject. He was just a little boy when he fell, and presumably Subject caught him that time. Subject is trying to be friends, they mean well, perhaps have taken pity on him, but Harry cannot stand to be called baby now, not when that name doesn’t mean what it used to, not when it’s a hollow word. Harry’s ‘home’ is suddenly a lonely place, but Subject has his reasons for how he’s acted, presumably good ones, and finally Harry gives his mea culpa, “this is it, so I’m sorry.” 

Interestingly, only after admitting that he’s made mistakes too, that he’s not perfect, that he shares the blame, does Harry confront and open himself to the realization contained in the next song, the heart of the album and the crux of what Harry’s been dancing around up until this point. 

She: In E minor, both verse and chorus use the same progression:

Em - DM - CM - Am - (Bm, a quick lead-in to) - Em 

 or i, II, VI, iv, v (no raised leading tone), i 

This Bowie-esc sounding song is the first to have characters. In addition to the Subject (perennially addressed as ‘You’) there is The Man and She. I would argue The Man and She are both Harry, a duality. The man drops his kids off at school, the man is thinking of You, like all of us do (everyone thinks of their SO perhaps). The Man goes through mundane daily tasks, but is he faking it? Does he really know what to do? He’s playing pretend, so pretend. 

Now Harry introduces She. (When speaking of She, Harry sings in a high falsetto.) She lives in daydreams, she is the first one he sees, and Harry doesn’t know who She is. A Woman just in his head, who sleeps in his (a jump up to the falsetto for just this one word in the verse) bed while he plays pretend. Much has been said about the gender/fluidity discovery in this song, and by better than me. It’s clear what Harry is saying, it’s clear what he’s going through and wrestling with. He’s thinking of Subject, but also haunted by She, in his head, in his mind’s eye, in his daydreams. She is a part of Harry, and Harry wants to know who She is. 

Side C

Uncomplicated tonics! All Major! A shift into happiness perhaps? 

Sunflower: F Major. BbM - FM - CM, or IV, I, V.  The bridge is fancy:

iii, IV, V, vi, I, V vi, V (vi?) V 

Some trippie hippie song from the 60s! Two lines of thought are apparent from the get go; Harry says he wants to get to know Subject, but then says “before I got to know you.” It’s as if this is a new beginning, like he and Subject are starting over. Much is made of the ‘seed’ thing, a metaphor for new life and rebirth, “plant new seeds in the melody.” Harry is trying hard not to talk to Subject, to not seem eager, not act a fool. He was just tongue tied, then he’s still tongue tied, implying he’s done this whole dance before. He implores Subject to hold their sweet memories: domestic times, kitchens, kids. In Golden, Subject was the sun. Now Subject is a sunflower, hung up high in the gallery, out of the shade, in the light a sunflower needs to thrive, into the light, step into the light. Little gasps from Harry interject throughout; is he surfacing from water (LU music video?), is he breathing between kisses, is he suddenly gifted new life like Gandalf atop Isengard? The end of the piece devolves into calls of unbridled, nonsensical joy, like birds song, like mating calls amongst brilliant plumage. 

Canyon Moon: D Major. DM - GM - AM - DM (I, IV, V, I)

 Bridge DM - (Em transit?) - AM - DM (I, (ii), V, I) 

Chorus DM - AM - DM - GM (I, V6, I6, IV) 

Perhaps the most straightforward tonic bound song of the album. Harry is missing Subject, but it’s a happy nostalgia now, a hopeful one, a “two weeks and I’ll be home.” Home is no longer a lonely place, like in TBSL. The world is happy waiting (there’s no rush? No need to have everything figured out?). “Doors yellow, broken, blue.” You can’t bribe the door on the way to the sky a sky where Harry’s Golden sun awaits him, and now the sky door is broken, busted through, that blue door to a blue sky that never looked so blue. 

We get another glimpse of She here; Subject remains You, Harry remains Harry, but there’s also a She who plays old hippies’ love songs and pretends to know the words; perhaps this is another Camille reference for narrative purposes, but I lean more towards this being another reference to She as Harry, exploring odd new music he’s never heard, trying not to be so pretentious about it but failing. (He’s such an Aquarius.) Most charmingly of all, the single whistler becomes two by the end of the song. 

Treat People With Kindness: F Major. This is the most interesting piece in terms of text painting. 

We start with CM6 - FM, then FM6/4 - BbM, then back to CM6 - FM, then we hold on the Am chord, and then repeat the whole thing. So analyzed in F Major this would be V6, I, I6/4, IV, V6, I, iii. 

But. By using the I6 to IV, Harry plays with the idea of a V of IV, where you take the IV chord of the key and pretend it has its own dominant (V) and use the V of IV not as the I chord normally is used, but as a Leading Tone chord to IV. 

ALL THAT TO SAY. He’s illustrating the lyrics. During “Maybe we can find a place” the chords are playing with dual resolutions. Where is the actual tonic? Is it F Major or B Flat Major? It’s ambiguous! We don’t know! We haven’t found our place yet! 

But then! The bridge. “And if we’re here long enough” and look where we land, on a CM chord, then BbM, then FM, a solid V, IV, I progression. And THEN (bless this boy) on the word belong we get the same A minor chord (the iii) but we get a 7th added to the chord, a G, and Harry holds this G in the melody (plant new seeds in the melody), a note that VERY MUCH DOES NOT BELONG because in no universe does a iii chord in Major have a 7th added! And Harry not only ADDS but draws attention to this note, this note that doesn’t belong!!! Then this iii7 chord resolves to C Major (V), making the G note a chord tone, making it BELONG, making it fit perfectly. 

GOD. Weep with me. 

This is Over the Rainbow. This is Hair, this is Age of Aquarius. Somewhere there’s a place we can belong and feel good and people will celebrate and rejoice in us, someday a new age will dawn. 

Harry is plunging into the deep end, dreaming, caught up in his good feelings and his euphoria in being “given second chances.” He’s tentative about admitting reckless hope to Subject; instead he says, “Maybe we can find a place to feel good?” Harry says he doesn’t need all the answers. He said in LU “do you know who you are” then in Falling “What am I now?” then in She “I don't know who she is” and now he’s at peace. He feels good in his skin, and he will keep on dancing. 

Most personally, I think the sudden somber turn of the line “If our friends all pass away” is in reference to grief. He’s speaking to Subject, but also to himself. It will be okay, okay, okay. Harry can’t control his life, he doesn’t have everything figured out, but he’s come to accept that. 

Side D

Fine Line: D Major. We come full circle, returning to the use of only three chords like at the start of the album. This time, though, Harry resolves to tonic in a repetitive pattern used for both the verses and chorus: 

Bm, GM7, DM6/4, or vi, IV7, I

FL is the summation of the album, the thesis statement, the conclusion of the journey. Harry has endured tests of patience, and accepted that there are things he’ll never know. He’s trying to shake off trepidation (of plunging in the deep end? Of hoping?). He says “My hand’s at risk, I fold.” The poker analogy is an interesting one; Subject (presumably) has gotten past Harry’s poker face, has sussed out his fronts and acts and strategies, and Harry is left bare and exposed, vulnerable before them. He’s been brought to this point, but willingly he folds. He laments that “spreading you open is the only way of knowing you.” We should open up before it’s all too much. Harry is done fighting. He’s also done sleeping in the dirt. For the first time he’s not sugar-coating his words, avoiding their problems via sex and pretense and flowery language. He’s matured enough to admit, “Man, I hate you sometimes.”

Again we have the reappearance of She. Harry says to Subject, “We’ll get the drinks in, so I’ll get to thinking of her.” This She is something between them, within them now, another facet of his and Subject’s relationship. Harry is going to spend time thinking of Her. She, I believe, is a part of him. 

A fine line is a balancing act, a tightrope, a suspension between extremes. But Harry calls out into the echo of the music, “We’ll be alright.” A declaration, a hope, a promise. Brass, strings, and a building crescendo, a cacophony of movie-credit-worthy emotion, sweeps us towards closure. Ethereal voices fade out, moving from dominant to tonic, but then a solitary piano plinks on a V chord, twice, hanging in the air, a question, an invitation, a hope. 

[backhurtyy]

i was tagged by my beloved @zukkaoru !!!!!! mwah thanks for the tag <3

1. how many works do you have on ao3? nineteen

2. what’s your total ao3 word count? 348,809 words, soon to jump up to 360k+ with nswd11 (i didn’t think it would be so many… ive only been posting fics on ao3 for the last like. fifteen months 💀)

3. how many fandoms have you written for and what are they? four published ones- harry potter, marvel, the mortal instruments, and avatar the last airbender (only atla is on ao3 tho), but i also have star wars and hades game wips right now

4. what are your top five fics by kudos? flowers do not bloom without a little rain tattoo the spaces between your fingers into mine (hope that i’m able to be) all that you need who knew it would end like this when the stars light up the room (i sit and talk to the moon)

(continued under the cut)

5. do you respond to comments, why or why not? yes!!!! i think it’s important to let people know i appreciate their support and thoughts and comments. also it makes me really happy whenever someone responds to a comment i left, so i want to try and do the same.

6. what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? i guess i can’t breathe without you (but i have to)? idk it’s technically a missing scene from rotwom, but there’s no comfort in it at all so it ends on a pretty sad note

7. do you write crossovers? if so, what is the craziest one you’ve written? no, i’m not really into them. i’ll write a billion aus, but i’m not into mixing the characters around and whatnot… the crossover tag is always excluded on ao3

8. have you received hate on a fic? not that i know of. though someone did tell me they thought my fic flowers do not bloom without a little rain was ‘a little contrived’ and ‘done somewhat well’, and gave me a b+ on it… not sure what they were trying to accomplish.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind? i am asexual lmao…. no.

10. have you ever had a fic stolen? not as far as i’m aware

11. have you ever had a fic translated? no, but i’ve been podficced

12. have you ever co-written a fic? nope

13. what’s your all time favorite ship? zukka my beloveds…. closely followed by stevebucky and percabeth- ive been shipping those two pairings since elementary/middle school

14. what’s a wip you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? definitely the zukka les mis au lmao. that’s been in my wip pile for over a year.

15. what are your writing strengths? i think i’m pretty good at writing action scenes? idk i get a lot of comments about that. and i also think i’m pretty good at getting into the various character’s heads and giving them each a unique voice, especially in nswd.

16. what are your writing weaknesses? i do not know how to write kisses. at all. i always cringe doing it. also i use a lot of the same words and stuff, especially when it comes to describing facial expressions and whatnot

17. what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? uhhhhh idk. i read a lot of star wars fics set during the clone wars, when the clones are speaking mando’a to each other, so i guess it doesn’t really bother me? but sometimes i’d prefer to just have it be in italicized english, rather than having to think about the translations and stuff. idk i don’t really care either way.

18. what was the first fandom you wrote for? harry potter 😭

19. what’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written? never shall we die my beloved….. i’m very proud of how it turned out, and especially that i finally finished it after struggling on it for so long. also (hope that i’m able to be) all that you need. it’s very near and dear to my heart, and i’m constantly proud of myself for writing something so personal. i also really love the sound of longing. i worked really hard on it, and though it isn’t one of my most popular fics, i do think it’s some of my best writing.

[440mxs-wife]

Arthur’s Angels Chapter 1: Meet the Angels

Pairings: Dean x Jayna Brandon (OFC), Sam x Maggie Parker (OFC). Other Characters: Gabriel, Arthur Ketch

Warnings: show-level violence

Word Count: 4900+

Authors Note: This started out as a birthday gift of sorts to my good friend, @MissyIsSassy1. Jayna is her character, so anything about her is Missy, while Maggie is my character, and anything about her is me. Don’t look at me, I just write stuff.

Summary: Jayna and Maggie are employed by the mysterious Arthur Ketch to hunt the supernatural. They have never met Mr. Ketch in person, and receive their assignments via speakerphone briefings. Still, they do their job, and they’re damn good at it. See what happens when their path crosses with the Winchesters.....

Author’s Note 2: I’m not sure how many parts this will have, I guess as many as people are willing to read. If you want to be tagged in this series or have any requests, please let me know. Thank you for reading, enjoy!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Okay, weapons check?" Jayna said to her partner, Maggie. The two of them were on assignment, going up against a nest of vampires. No way that either of them wanted to be caught in a fight without adequate weapons support.

"Machete, freshly sharpened," Maggie said, patting her thigh holster. "Also have my .380, with a full clip of the ceramic rounds filled with dead man's blood," she confirmed. "You?" she asked.

Jayna gestured towards her back holster where she kept her always-sharpened machete. She tucked her 9mm pistol, also with the ceramic rounds, in the back waistband of her jeans. "So, how many did Gabriel say would be in this nest, anyway?" Jayna asked.

Maggie looked at the ramshackle house before them. "No more than ten, if I remember correctly. I figure we get in a few good swings and take out the first four or five vamps, which makes the rest of our job a bit more manageable," she explained.

Jayna shrugged. "Sounds like a plan to me," she replied as they approached the front door of the run-down shack.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jayna Brandon and Maggie Parker were experts, recruited by the reclusive billionaire, Arthur Ketch, to hunt the supernatural. Each woman had her own reasons for becoming involved in hunting. Whether their motivation was a deep sense of duty or a desire to continue the family legacy, regardless, they trained relentlessly. For that reason alone, they were considered to be two of the best female hunters in the world.

Rumors had circulated that Mr. Ketch once had ties to the former British Men of Letters, a secret organization from the 1950's. Their purpose was to investigate and hunt the supernatural, like vampires, werewolves and shapeshifters.

About three years ago, the weapons locker was raided and cleared out, then the organization was mysteriously disbanded. All of their technically superior weaponry was said to now be under the control of an unknown entity. Some even suggested that Mr. Ketch himself may have been the one to take possession of this futuristic firepower.

Working alongside Jayna and Maggie was Gabriel. He mostly worked behind the scenes, researching cases and providing tech support and even transportation if necessary. Sometimes he went out in the field, if the case involved posing as a couple to complete the mission. Gabriel could be a bit mischievous at times, but he was always there for Jayna and Maggie when they needed him.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jayna slowly and carefully eased the front door open. She didn't want any squeaks or whines from the aging hinges to ruin the element of surprise. As they approached the living room area, a vamp was entering the room from Jayna's left. She swung her machete and sliced the head clean off the body, both hitting the floor with a thump. Another one came in from Maggie's right, but she was ready. Her machete sliced through the vamp's neck like a hot knife through butter.

After they cleared the top floor of all five vampires, that only left the remaining five, most likely in the basement. The ladies knew they had to be careful, because there may also be potential victims to rescue. Jayna signaled to Maggie that the door in front of her led to the basement. Maggie nodded and drew open the door, which fortunately opened without a creak.

The women slowly descended the stairs, pausing every so often to make sure nothing had disturbed the vampires. They appeared to be sleeping in some sort of sling or hammock, with the ends secured around an exposed beam in the ceiling.

Jayna counted and signaled to Maggie that there were only four more to clear out the nest. Maggie nodded and motioned that she was going to go check for victims. Jayna nodded her assent as she continued to survey their environment, always keeping an eye out for an exit.

Maggie found six victims, only three of whom were still alive. She disconnected the IV that was drawing the blood out of the first two and tied a piece of her shirt over it like a bandage. The couple looked like they were high school sweethearts, a quarterback and his cheerleader. Must have been in the wrong place at the wrong time, is all. They didn't look like they'd lost too much blood, so she told them to go and wait for her and Jayna under the stairs.

Something seemed to be a little off with the third captive, though. Maggie looked her over for injuries, but didn't find any. She started walking towards the stairs, thinking the other captive would follow her. Maggie caught the horrified look in the eyes of the cheerleader as she gestured to the last captive. Maggie turned around in time to see the last victim charging at her, knocking her over. She had been turned, and she had decided that Maggie was to be her first kill.

Jayna ran over and knocked the girl to the ground, only to have her quickly get back up. Jayna gripped her machete with both hands and made a clean slice, taking off her head. Maggie breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks, Jay," she whispered.

"Anytime," Jayna said, then turned her attention to the remaining cluster of vamps, who were starting to stir in their bunks. "Uh-oh, looks like that was just the wake-up call," Jayna quipped. "Time to take care of business," she remarked.

Two vamps went after Maggie, while the other two went after Jayna. They each took the first one out easily, but the last two were starting to get the upper hand. The one attacking Jayna had her pinned to the ground and kept trying to take a bite at her neck.

The impact of hitting the floor caused her machete to drop from her hand. Jayna brought her leg up and shoved the vamp away from her, then drew her pistol. She shot a couple of ceramic rounds into its upper chest, and the vamp went down, paralyzed for the moment. Jayna completed the kill as she cleaved its head from the body.

Maggie's vamp seemed a lot more determined, most likely the leader of his nest. He had her pinned to the wall to where she couldn't raise her arms to swing the blade. "Do you think you two hunters can just waltz in here, kill my family and take what's mine?!?" he thundered. His forearm was pressed up against Maggie's neck. He pressed hard, holding her against the wall and threatening her air supply.

Just before Maggie nearly blacked out from lack of oxygen, she heard Jayna shout to get the vamp's attention. He turned his head towards Jayna, which was his last and fatal mistake. Her machete quickly and cleanly separated his head from his body and the fight was over.

"Thanks again, Jay. Really saved my ass this time," Maggie huffed, still trying to catch her breath.

"You can save my ass next time," Jayna chuckled. "Let's get these survivors topside and out of this house. You okay to lead us out of here?" she asked.

Maggie nodded, then paused as she heard footsteps approaching their position. Maggie pointed upward, and motioned to Jayna and the couple to keep quiet. When the intruders hit the last step, Jayna and Maggie stepped out of the shadows, weapons drawn, and yelled "Freeze!"

The newcomers also had weapons that they trained on Jayna and Maggie, at least until they saw the collection of headless bodies on the floor. The man closest to Jayna had piercing green eyes, spiky hair and slightly bowed legs. He re-engaged the safety on his weapon, but still felt the need to keep it pointed in Jayna's direction.

"One question. Who are you and what the hell are you doing on our hunt?" he demanded.

"Your hunt? Excuse me, but this is our case, bud," Jayna retorted. "We should be asking 'who are you and what the hell are you doing on our hunt'," she sassed.

"Name's Dean Winchester, sweetheart," he smirked. Gesturing to the tall, shaggy haired man to his right, "And this one here is my brother, Sam Winchester," he explained.

Jayna and Maggie looked at each other and realized that the newcomers were not a threat. They reengaged the safety on their weapons and tucked them in the back waistband of their jeans. Sam and Dean, having decided that Jayna and Maggie weren't a threat either, did the same.

"Well, boys, now that we've made our introductions, we must be going. Got to get the survivors some medical attention, so they can go back home to their families," Maggie said. She started to climb the stairs and motioned for the survivors to come out of hiding and follow her to the car.

Jayna turned to leave as well, but before she did, she caught Dean's eye. "You guys will clean up, right? Been a slice," she said as she winked and gave him a mock salute. She followed Maggie up the stairs, grinning to herself all the way.

Sam and Dean both looked at each other. "What the hell just happened?" Dean thundered. "How did we get stuck with the clean-up?" he growled.

Shaking his head, Sam chuckled. "Come on, Dean. Let's get to work," he grinned.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jayna and Maggie dropped off the survivors at a local hospital to receive medical attention, then provided Gabriel with their final report. Gabe was impressed that the girls had finished the job in record time and managed to save two civilians. He said they had earned some time off, so they decided to find a diner to get something to eat.

On the way to the diner, they talked about meeting the infamous Winchesters.

"So what did you think of them?" Maggie asked.

"Well, Dean is certainly the one in charge," Jayna observed. "Talks a lot, and if I'm being honest...." she trailed off.

"Yeah?" Maggie prompted, dying to hear how Jayna was going to finish her thought.

"It's not so much his words, Mags. I swear, though, his voice is just the right frequency to set off my internal tuning fork. And I mean in the best way," she remarked as they busted out laughing. "What about you?" she asked.

"I dunno. Sam seemed content to let Dean run the show, but I think that only means one thing. The man is a tiger that isn't going to want to be caged forever by his big brother. And when he gets loose, whoo boy! Someone's in for a wild night," Maggie finished.

When Jayna pulled into the parking lot, they couldn't help but notice the gorgeous, black 1967 Chevy Impala parked outside.

"Is that--" Maggie started.

"Couldn't be. Then again--" Jayna mused. "Let's just go in, we don't have to sit with them if they're in there," she replied.

Maggie shrugged and held the door open for Jayna, then followed her into the diner. They scanned the area for the Winchesters, knowing it had to be their car outside. Jayna spotted Sam and Dean sitting in a corner booth off to her right. She elbowed Maggie to get her attention and directed it towards where the Winchesters were sitting, bringing a smile to Maggie's face.

The girls looked at each other as if to ask, "Should we join them or ignore them?". One look between them had them thinking back to the conversation they had in the car. They nearly broke out into laughter again at the memory, but managed to hold it together.

Jayna and Maggie sauntered over to the boys' table, each swaying their hips a little in case Sam and Dean were watching. Maggie reached them first and cleared her throat a little to get their attention.

"Excuse us, gents, but are these seats taken?" Maggie asked, locking eyes with Sam.

Before his brother could answer, Sam jumped in and said, "No, not at all, please join us," he grinned. He scooted over to make room, while Dean rolled his eyes but made room for Jayna to slide in.

"You ladies hungry? Here, take a look, if you'd like to choose something," Dean remarked, handing over his menu.

The waitress came back to their table and noticed that two more guests had joined the table. Jayna and Maggie ordered their drinks, then everyone gave their food order. Dean ordered his classic bacon cheeseburger with fries, Sam requested a salad. Jayna went for the pot roast dinner, while Maggie ordered a Reuben sandwich with chips.

Jayna fidgeted with her napkin before speaking. "So, I think maybe we might have gotten off on the wrong foot with you guys," she started. "Comes from years of having to work twice as hard as female hunters to prove ourselves in a male-dominated profession," she explained.

"Nah, don't worry about it," Dean replied. "I'm rather impressed, just the two of you taking out a nest of ten vamps. That's not easy, even for a couple of guys like us," Dean said. "I just hope we didn't come across as macho jerks."

"Nope, nothing to fear there, Dean. And thanks for cleaning up, by the way," Jayna added. "I can tell, though, that you're used to being the one in charge, the leader. Hope it's not too intimidating that I'm a bit like that as well," Jayna said as she locked eyes with Dean.

Dean slowly shook his head. "Just so you know, though," he added, leaning towards Jayna's ear. "I like a woman who knows what she wants and goes after it," he added huskily as he ran his index finger along her jawline.

Jayna internally shivered, not only at the closeness of his lips to her ear, but at that damn sexy voice of his. She felt her cheeks grow warm at the thought of his plump lips. She wondered if she'd ever find out if they were as soft as they appeared to be. Jayna looked over at Maggie, who was too deep in conversation with Sam to notice any distress her friend may be under.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Across the table....

"So, what kinds of things are you into, Sam? You know, what do you like to do when you're not hunting?" Maggie asked a little nervously.

"Mostly, I do the research for the two of us. Dean's the 'action guy', I'm the 'book nerd'," Sam replied. "I'm a big fan of sci-fi, especially Star Wars and I've read all of the 'Harry Potter' books. Also, I have what some people would call a weird obsession with reading about serial killers," he chuckled. "What about you?" he inquired.

"Well, first of all, nothing wrong with being into books. I, too, have read all of the 'Harry Potter' books, but I like a good spy thriller once in awhile. I don't mind Star Wars, but I'm more into Star Trek. It's kind of a requirement, since I'm from Iowa," she grinned. "My weird thing has to do with how easily I can learn a foreign language. Mostly reading, not necessarily speaking them, though," she finished.

Sam's hazel eyes locked on to Maggie's as he spoke. "Star Trek, hmm? I can just hear the kind of heated sci-fi debates we'd get into. And I can't stop wondering about the sexy things you might say in another language. 'Specially when you get all riled up," he gently teased.

Sam reached over and tucked a wayward lock of hair behind Maggie's ear and grinned when he heard the slight hitch in her breathing. Fortunately for Maggie, the waitress arrived with their meals, saving her from doing anything embarrassing about her growing attraction to Sam.

After dinner was finished, the four went out to their respective cars, but neither driver seemed to be in a hurry to leave. Conversations were had about what to do with the rest of the evening, and whether that would include any members of the opposite sex.

Dean broke the stalemate by inviting Jayna and Maggie back to their room for a drink and possibly a movie. He mentioned the name of the motel, which prompted the girls to invite Sam and Dean back to their room instead. When Jayna explained that their employer was able to provide a bit nicer and separate accommodations, the boys instantly agreed.

Jayna and Maggie followed the boys back to their motel so they could grab a change of clothes for the night. While they waited, Maggie took the opportunity to voice her doubts to Jayna.

"Are you sure we should be doing this, Jay? I mean, inviting them back to our hotel? We hardly know anything about them, other than what we've heard from other hunters," Maggie pointed out.

"That's the point, Mags," Jayna answered. "We spend time with them, get to know them better. Besides, I saw you and Sam 'sparking' over in your corner of the booth," she teased.

Maggie scoffed. "Yeah? Well, I saw plenty of 'sparks' going between you and Dean on your side of the booth, Jay," she retorted.

Jayna shrugged. "If you're waiting for me to deny everything, you're going to have a long wait, dearie. It's that voice of his, like it has a tractor beam and it's pulling me in! Not that I'm complaining, mind you," she laughed.

Maggie joined in on the laughter. "I think I was right about Sam, too. You know, about him being a tiger and to be careful if he ever gets unleashed from his cage," she remarked. "He mentioned how fun it would be to debate me on sci-fi topics. And, about riling me up so I say naughty things in other languages," Maggie giggled.

At that moment, Sam and Dean emerged from their motel room, each carrying a bag. They turned to look at Jayna and Maggie in their car, smiled, waved then got into the Impala. Around 15 minutes later, they had arrived at the RedStar Hotel, where the girls were staying.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sam and Dean exited the Impala and examined their surroundings. This hotel was much nicer than anything they'd ever stayed in, except when on the werewolf case with Mick Davies. "Well, ladies, I have to say, these are some fancy digs," Dean remarked. "Not your usual hunters' accommodations," he added.

"Courtesy of our employer, whose name shall remain anonymous," Jayna quipped. "This is just the lobby. Shall we head up to my room first, then decide how best to spend the rest of the evening?" she asked.

Maggie and the boys nodded their assent as they made their way over to the bank of elevators. "Room 516 is mine, 519 is Maggie's room," Jayna explained. She pulled her key card out of her pocket and opened the door.

The room was equipped with a king sized bed, a recliner in the corner, a 55-inch flat screen TV and a desk where Jayna's laptop rested. "Come on in everyone," Jayna said as she threw her car keys on the desk. From her bag, she produced a bottle of whiskey and proceeded to pour two fingers for everyone.

When everyone had a drink in hand, Maggie raised hers a little. "I propose a toast: to a successful hunt and to new friends," she declared. Everyone repeated the toast and clinked their glasses together. Maggie made eye contact with Sam when their glasses connected, trying to determine what kind of mood he was in. She also wanted to see when may be a good time for them to make a break for her room to be alone.

Someone produced a deck of cards and from that, several rounds of Truth or Dare Go-Fish were played. The whiskey continued to flow, and as a consequence, the participants got a little sillier with each round. After about the seventh round, Jayna looked at Maggie. From all their years hunting together, Maggie knew from the look on Jayna's face that it was time for her and Sam to go.

"Hey, Sam, I heard there's a Star Wars marathon on TV. I know these two are probably not interested, so how about we head over to my room so we won't bother them?" Maggie suggested.

A knowing smirk crossed Sam's face. "Fine by me, as long as you don't mind that I quote the dialogue as the movie plays," he grinned.

"So much the better, I'll even play along," Maggie replied. She held out her hand, which Sam took in his and intertwined their fingers.

"Have fun, kids," Dean called after them. Upon hearing the door latch engage, a hungry look settled in Dean's eyes. He walked over to the table where Jayna was putting the deck of cards back in the box.

Dean approached Jayna while her back was to him. He reached for her hand to make her turn around and face him. He reached up with his right hand to cup her face. "So," he remarked softly, his thumb caressing her cheek.

"So," Jayna whispered. She placed her palms on his chest and slid them upwards until her hands were clasped behind his neck.

As her fingertips grazed the hairs at the base of his neck, Dean dove in and captured Jayna's lips with his own. His free hand roamed up and down Jayna's back, causing a small moan to escape from her mouth. When the need to breathe became too great, the kiss was broken, leaving Dean and Jayna panting.

"Whoa," Dean whispered. "That was amazing," he remarked.

"Agreed. I've been wanting to do that since the diner," Jayna gushed. "How's about we try that again?" she suggested.

"As you wish, sweetheart," Dean replied as his mouth slammed back to Jayna's with a need that he knew only she could satisfy. "So beautiful," Dean murmured against her lips.

Jayna brought her hands down so that they were inside his flannel shirt. Within seconds, she was pushing his outer shirt off of his shoulders and was reaching for the hem of his T-shirt. Dean gently pried it from her fingertips and eased it up and over his head. The sight of his bare chest caused a hitch in her breathing, which did not escape Dean's notice.

Dean toyed with the hem of Jayna's T-shirt, causing her to look down at his hands. He hooked one finger under her chin and tilted it upwards to meet her eyes. "Are you sure, sweetheart?" he asked softly.

Jayna nodded. "I'm sure, Dean," she answered. That was all the permission Dean needed to relieve Jayna of her shirt, leaving her in a lacy pink bra. A look of admiration crossed Dean's Greek god-like features and Jayna had never felt more treasured.

One by one, pieces of clothing disappeared until there was nothing left between them. Dean and Jayna found themselves under the blankets of the expansive king-sized bed. They took turns giving and receiving pleasure in the form of hot kisses and exploratory touches. As the two of them moved together, layer upon layer of passion was built. Each one higher than the last, until they both found their release.

As Dean and Jayna's heart rates slowly returned to normal, Jayna scooted towards Dean. He snaked his right arm around her to hold her close to his side. She rested her head on his shoulder and her right hand flat on his chest. "Mmm, Dean that was incredible," she murmured, her eyelids feeling heavy.

Dean leaned over and pressed his lips to Jayna's forehead. "It really was, sweetheart. Incredible," he mumbled against her skin. He felt his own eyelids fighting to stay open as well. "Sweet dreams, baby girl," Dean whispered before completely giving in to his need for sleep.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The next morning, the couples met in the hotel's dining facility for the breakfast buffet. Jayna noticed that Maggie and Sam looked pretty cozy going through the line. Always finding a reason to touch each other, or for one to grab the other's hand. Hmm, her night must have gone as well as mine did, Jayna thought with a smile. We should have lots to talk about on the drive back to HQ, she silently added.

"Morning, beautiful," Dean rumbled huskily in Jayna's ear. His stubbled cheek tickled her ear, causing her to giggle, which also brought a smile to Dean's face.

"Morning, handsome," she replied as soon as she had regained her composure.

Back at the table, everyone exchanged phone numbers. If either team needed help or wanted to talk to someone, they now had a way of contacting each other.

All too soon, it was time for the hunter teams to go their separate ways. Dean and Jayna were standing by her car, exchanging good-bye hugs and slow, luxurious kisses.

Over by the Impala, Maggie and Sam were saying their good-byes. "I had a wonderful time with you, Sam. You're smart, caring and a bit of a romantic if I may say. But you also have a very sexy wild side to you that I love just as much," Maggie remarked.

"And you, ma chérie, are sweet, kind and maybe a bit too sassy for your own good," Sam grinned. He tapped the end of Maggie's nose as she pouted. "But I would love to see you again sometime, ma belle fleur," he said softly.

A shy smile returned to Maggie's face. "I would like that as well, mon chéri," Maggie replied. She slid her hands up the length of Sam's chest and rested them on his shoulders. Without much encouragement needed, she pulled him down until their lips met in a fiery, passionate kiss.

When they broke apart, Sam brushed the back of his knuckles gently against her cheek. "See you soon, darlin'," he said softly.

"Bye, Sam. Call if you need anything, or want to talk," Maggie responded.

"I will," he promised as Maggie walked away to where Jayna was waiting. Maggie wished Dean a safe trip home as he passed her on the way to his car. She heard the Impala roar to life and just like that, Sam and Dean were gone.

Before Maggie opened the passenger door of the car, Jayna asked, "So, how did it go with you and Sam last night?"

Maggie paused before looking Jayna directly in the eye. "Rawr," she said, then both women burst into laughter.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Back at headquarters, Gabriel expressed how happy he was to see them. Although he didn't press for details, he could tell that both women had had an enjoyable past 24 hours. "Briefing in 15 minutes, ladies!" Gabriel called out.

They didn't have time to do much of anything before the meeting, except freshen up their hair and splash some water on their faces. Unpacking, laundry and a shower would have to wait until after the meeting.

About ten minutes later, Jayna and Maggie entered the conference room and took their usual places. A conference call-style phone with a large speaker was in the middle of the table. The meeting started precisely at 11:00 am, with a call from their employer, Arthur Ketch.

"Good morning, Angels. I understand the vampire hunt went as planned, even saved two of the victims," Ketch remarked.

"Yes, sir," Jayna and Maggie responded in unison.

"Well done. Your next assignment will be for the recovery of a cursed object. The setting is a high-society party to which only couples have been invited. This will therefore be an undercover assignment," Ketch explained.

Jayna and Maggie looked at each other in silent communication. Winchesters? they asked each other. Jayna pointed out that while Gabriel usually fills in on these "undercover couple" assignments, that leaves Maggie without a partner.

"Sir, we need both myself and Maggie for this mission. We met a pair of hunters on our last case that would be perfect for this assignment. That would enable us full use of the team, and Gabriel could still act in a support capacity," Jayna finished.

Silence reigned on the other end of the line while the idea was considered. "How easy would it be to contact this 'pair of hunters' you met?" Ketch asked.

"We exchanged contact information before we left them, sir. Only a matter of picking up the phone and calling them," Maggie answered.

"Very well, make contact and inform Gabriel of their decision. I have confidence in you, Angels," Ketch concluded before the call disconnected.

"I never get to do anything fun," Gabriel grumbled. "Always a bridesmaid, never a bride."

"Aw, come on, Gabriel. You know we wouldn't be anywhere without you," Jayna teased, tapping the end of Gabe's nose.

"You bet your sweet asses you wouldn't," he grumbled. "Go on, make your 'booty call' so I can let Arthur know whether this is a go or no-go situation," he muttered.

"It's not a 'booty call', Gabe," Jayna retorted as she scrolled through her contacts, then pressed the one she wanted.

"Hey, Dean? It's Jayna. Got a question for you: Can you and Sam get your hands on a couple of tuxedos? We have a little undercover mission, and it would really help us out if you could join Maggie and me," she finished.

A broad smile spread across her face. "Fabulous. I'll email you the details. And Dean? Can't wait to see you again. Over and out," Jayna concluded softly then disconnected the call. "Hey, Maggie? How would you like to see Sam again?" she called out as she walked down the hall to her room. She giggled as she heard a shriek of happiness from Maggie's room.

Tags: @swiftlymoniquesblog @miss-nerd95 @janicho88 @akshi8278 @magssteenkamp @lyarr24 @distefano123 @hobby27 @deanwanddamons @jawritter @jensengirl83 @deangirl93 @ellewritesfix05 @idreamofplaid @like-a-bag-of-potatoes @winchesterprincessbride @wayward-mikaelson @yourelivingwrong @gabrielslittleangel @jessica-noel94

[etherdoubler]

every thought ive had about shevat in the past year (part 1)

i have spent many weeks contemplating shevat and making stuff up in a pretty much uninterrupted stream of conscious ever since i beat the game a year ago.

ok first, locations. the map is horrible, but bear with me.

green (residential): the only area of the capital currently inhabited.  neighborhoods, restaurants, artisanal productions, etc. normal people stuff. holds the agriculture domes, out of 5 to support the population only 2 are operational, short staffing means only 1 can be used at a time, leading to insufficient food resources. mostly located on the lower "tier" of the region.

blue (metropolitan): abandoned. gaspars house is here, near the border with the residential district. old universities, libraries, museums, theatres, government buildings etc. but all have been stripped for resources or were destroyed 500 years ago. the largest medical center was here, near the industrial district.

black (industrial): support area for the capital, manufacturing, waste treatment, etc. transitional area- many people moving up from babel tower end up here and work in the various sectors until they can move to the residential area or the outer ring. shevats main power plant is here, an old slave generator that mainly services aphel aura and the palace. balthazar did stuff here to advance manufacturing capacity and quality before peacing out 500 yrs ago

outer (engineering): technical work. server support, gate generator maintenance, communications, internet etc. all are based around shevats outer ring. wind turbines line the ring at regular intervals for power. medical/chemical research facilities are also here (once under taura's jurisdiction). ports for gear deployment, commercial travel, shipping, etc. are here. at shevats peak there were numerous smaller “““towns”““ in the outer ring to support the engineering staff (hence the residential space) but those have long since been abandoned and stripped for materials. while aphel aura runs off the slave generator plant, the outer ring mostly relies on solar/wind turbines, and has sections for battery storage of electricity in off hours. this excess energy powers the capital as well, when the slave generator has to go through repairs

palace (yellow): at the center of shevat. has its own duplicate agriculture, power supply, internet etc. in case of emergency. zephyr rarely leaves, she and the council are pretty much always working.

gate generators: four of them.... 1 and 4 break down regularly and often need extended maintenance. 2 and 3 are in better condition and are monitored more frequently due to their proximity to inhabited areas.

anyway. the real thing i wanted to talk about is how after 500 years of subpar maintenance a lot of these infrastructure systems either dont work, dont work in conjunction with newer systems, or have been dismantled to repair other, more important systems. computers are a huge issue in shevat because so much of their tech is salvaged from different eras and places of manufacture (think about the kinds of compatibility issues we have today just from about 50 years of computer software x10).

zephyrs personal computer runs on the original shevat os from 500 years ago, if only because transcribing and transferring all of the data to a newer, more capable system would take more time and effort than they can afford. gate technology stolen from solaris is programmed and built to solarian specifications, but now runs on a mishmash architecture of shevat/solarian code. the gear systems have to be reprogrammed to ignas dialect because after some point, all of shevats gear pilots will be from the surface. i think about this CCONSTANTLY!!!!!! also the chronic reset of collective knowledge that happens when engineers die, whether from old age or on surface missions, etc. is pretty crippling when you dont have enough of them to go around in the first place, and while there are a number of solarian defectors who make their way to shevat, how many of them are skilled enough to actually help run the kinds of technologies shevat depends on? zephyr can be a repository of this kind of knowledge but at the same time, she’s only one person and cant teach 40 different people of differing technical expertise how to diagnose and repair engine tech from five centuries ago.

other topics. DISEASE. okay actually i wont talk about the poxes and fevers, etc. that may have sprung up over the centuries just because, kind of sick of diseases right now. instead- ENDEMIC LIFE. fei mentions there being fish in the waterway, so what else is brewing in the nascent independent ecosystem of shevat? different types of moss??? rare lichens that grow on the exposed surface of rusted metals? some really gross mildew living under a condensation drainage pipe? parasites*? fascinating stuff to think about if youre a complete nerd like me. also, FOOD. shevat has agricultural production, so what do they grow besides thunder strawberries? i have this half-thought theory that "dry season" in shevat means the water system is damaged and wont be fixed for a few months so everyone has to conserve water.

i have more. maybe in part three i will talk about characters.

*i think parasites as a topic are very interesting. there will definitely be a post about regional parasites in the future sometime

[goalcaufield]

funny business - s. knight note: nsfw content (whoops! it wasn’t supposed to. but.)

these four white walls and that stupid constant beeping was starting to drive you insane. it had only been twenty minutes since you woke up from your surgery, but you were already ready to rip your iv out of your hand. your knee was killing you, you felt extremely groggy, and all you wanted was to be back in your own bed at home. 

you groan, which comes out more strangled than anything, and try to resituate yourself to get more comfortable to go back to sleep. however, the world seems to be extremely against you. 

“see? she’s still asleep! i told you it was a good idea we got all this stuff now,” you hear one of the boys, one of your best friends speak. and god you can hear that stupid smirk on jack’s face - how he always got when he was right about something. 

“yeah, yeah, whatever j,” alex is next to speak. you pop one eye open and all 3 of the boys freeze, teddy bears and balloons in their arms. 

“hi baby,” spencer breathes out with a smile, and he takes a few steps forward to reach your bed. he pushes the hair away from your forehead and presses a lingering kiss before his hand falls to your cheek. “how are you feeling my love?”

you lean into his hand, a lazy smile making its way onto your face. “tired. in pain.” spencer smiles sadly knowing that there’s nothing he can do to help you. but you reach up and place your hand on top of his. “but i’m a little better now, because you’re here.” 

“wow, what are we, chopped liver? not like i haven’t known you since we were five years old, y/n.” jack scoffs and the two boys place their ‘get well’ gifts on one of the open hospital chairs. 

“j,” you sigh, “it’s different bub. you know that.” 

jack just rolls his eyes, but spencer hands you the teddy bear he got for you, a light brown bear with a red heart that had ‘i love you!’ written across it in white letters. there was a card tucked behind the heart and the balloon tied around it. 

“oh spencer knight,” you grin like a fool but accept the gift gratefully. alex and jack watch the interaction between you two, and while they think it’s grossly sickening, they still can’t help but smile. 

“you saw your mom, right?” jack speaks up and you nod. your mom was right by your side when you first woke up, and she had disappeared a few minutes ago to grab your nurse so she could give you more pain medication. 

“do you guys want a minute?” alex asks looking between the two of you. “cause we can leave for a few.”

“if you don’t mind,” spencer says glancing down at you. luckily the two boys leave you alone. 

“what’s up, love?” you ask, head tilting sideways. spencer steps back to grab a chair and he pulls it up next to your hospital bed, wasting no time before he’s grabbing your hand and pressing his lips to the skin. “spence,” you giggle. 

you can feel his smile forming against your skin. “i was just worried sweetheart, that’s all. i know you were going to be okay, but still, that nagging thought is there.”

you smile sadly, your free hand going up to brush through his messy blond curls. “i love you, you know that?”

“of course i do,” he smiles and turns his head so he can kiss your hand that fell to his cheek. “i just wish i could help you. i know you’re in pain and i know you’re gonna be in pain for a while.”

you sigh. “about that. i’m sorry i won’t be able to go with you to prom. you can still go, i understand if you want to.”

“are you crazy? there’s no other place i’d rather be than with you, my love. i’ll gladly spend prom night cuddled up with you watching movies.”

“and this, this is why i am in love with you, spencer knight,” you whisper and bring his lips to yours, but right as they brush you hear a throat being cleared from the entryway. 

“obviously someone is feeling a little bit better, miss l/n,” the young nurse teases you. “how are you feeling hon?” 

“in a lot of pain,” you admit, causing spencer’s hand to squeeze yours. 

“that’s what i’m here for,” she grins and sets up bags of medication to flow through your iv. “you may feel a little drowsy, but that’s normal. if you’re nauseous just press that button, okay?” she points towards the red ‘call’ button on your bed remote.

you thank the nurse before she’s leaving the room, which leaves you and spencer alone once more. “where were we again?” spencer plays dumb with a cute smile on his face before he’s leaning in to kiss you again. this time your lips actually meet, and you most definitely let it get a bit more heated than you originally intended. one of your hands runs through spencer’s hair and the other stays planted on the back of his neck. however on the other hand, one of spencer’s are trailing underneath your hospital gown and the other rests on your hip.

“we left for like five minutes!” alex shouts as him and jack walk back into the room. spencer pulls away from you quickly and his cheeks are bright pink. “jeez, spence. you know you two can’t have sex, right?”

you’ve never seen that boy look at you so quickly before and it’s a miracle he didn’t give himself whiplash. “y/n, what is he talking about?”

“spence,” you laugh, grabbing both of his hands. “technically we can’t. unless you wanna risk hurting me, which i’m sure you wouldn’t.”

spencer lets out a huff and leans back in his chair, pulling his hands from yours to cross his arms over his chest. “we can just be careful?”

you roll your eyes. he’s got an innocent look on his face for the not-so-innocent acts he’s thinking of, but you know he doesn’t mean anything bad. “maybe in a week or two. but for the time being, you’re gonna have to suffer.”

luckily your mother walks into the room clueless to the conversation that’s going on but is able to stop it before it continues. “hi honey, hi boys. y/n/n, you should be able to be discharged by tonight.”

“oh thank god,” you mumble, letting your head fall back against the pillows. “movie night, spence?”

spencer snaps out of his pouting phase, and a grin forms on his face. “please?”

meanwhile your mother is hesitant. “y/n, you’re gonna have to be extremely careful, you know. i’m not joking. i don’t even think you should be on the same couch together in all honesty.”

“but, that ruins the whole point of movie night,” spencer pouts at your mom, but she gives him a stern look in response.

“can’t promise you anything, mom, sorry,” you mumble knowing she probably couldn’t hear you anyway. however spencer does, and the little giggle that leaves his lips is enough to make you smile over at him.

the next few hours of grueling. your doctor comes in to lecture you about the do’s and don’ts after your surgery, which includes all of the basics. ice it. take your pain medicines. no strenuous activities. try to stay off it as much as you can. stay persistent with physical therapy, because it wouldn’t benefit you at all if you weren’t.

once you’re finally discharged later that night, spencer is right by your side helping you into the wheelchair your nurse provided for you. you’ve got all the teddy bears the boys got for you in your lap, the balloons flying right above your head for everyone to see. none of those boys left your side, not until spencer was helping you carefully into the passengers seat of your mom’s car. 

“i’ll see you in an hour, yeah?” spencer asks with his hands next to you on the seat. you nod and peck his lips. “see you in a bit, love.”

“see you sweetheart.”

“spence, you didn’t drive here alone, right?” your mom asks, and spencer glances up at her. 

“no, jack drove. why?”

“you guys can have your movie night. hop in the back, kiddo.”

the smile on spencer’s face is equivalent to a little kid that just got ice cream after hours of begging, and he happily gets in the back of the mini van for the ride back to your house that’s about half an hour away. 

you end up dozing off in the car leaving spencer and your mom to talk about god knows what. but they keep each other occupied and they manage to not wake you up, and you wake up only when you feel spencer’s hands carefully moving under your body to carry you.

“spence,” you mumble, but he’s quick to shush you and you oblige, wrapping your arms around his neck and resting your head on his chest. “we’re still having our movie night, you know. you’re crazy to think that we aren’t.”

spencer’s chest vibrates as he laughs. “you’ve had a long day love, i get it. we can just have a whole movie day tomorrow.”

“no, we’re having movie night now,” you grumble and he sighs in defeat. spencer carries you into your house and up to your room, and when you open your eyes again you nearly cry. spencer had made you a little ‘get well’ basket with all of your favorite things - from candy to movies to a new fuzzy blanket you were sure you’d get use out of that night cuddling with spencer. “spencer you did not have to do this.”

“but i did,” you can hear the smile in his voice and you turn back to kiss the underside of his jaw. “i love you, spence. more than you could ever imagine.”

“oh i’m sure i love you so much more, y/n,” he mumbles and kisses your forehead. “now i think i was promised a movie night?”

spencer carefully situates you on your bed, taking the yellow fuzzy blanket from the basket and setting the basket on your night stand. he then gingerly gets into the bed next to you, careful not to disturb your left leg even if he was on the opposite side. you place your hand and head on spencer’s chest as he turns your tv on in search of a movie for the two of you to watch. a grin forms on his face when ‘atlantis: the lost empire’ comes onto the screen, your all time favorite movie, so of course he presses play.

usually spencer is pretty decent when it comes to keeping his hands to himself. key word being usually. but it seems that because he can’t - or he shouldn’t - his hands seem to do a bit of wandering on their own. his hand slips underneath the waistband of your sweatpants and underwear, and while you know you shouldn’t egg him on, the moan that escapes you lips is just enough to do that. spencer knows you like the back of his hand, after nearly three years of dating that’ll just happen to a couple, spencer barely has to touch you to get a reaction out of you.

“spencer, we can’t. you heard the doctor, ‘no strenuous activities,’” you try to make him come to his senses, but would that happen? oh god no. of course not.

“yeah, well, eating you out? i don’t think that’s strenuous for you, love.” you can barely process his words before spencer is sliding out from underneath you and is making his way down your body. he hooks the band of your sweatpants around his finger and pulls them down, extra careful when he gets to your knee, and discards them when he’s able. he presses his lips to your thighs sucking a couple of hickeys into the skin before he pulls your thong to the side. 

“spence, please,” you whine, fingers tangling in his curls. he looks up at you through his eyelashes before his lips wrap around your clit. you try to keep you body to the bed, but spencer’s arm going to rest across your stomach makes that easier. 

“love, you gotta be quiet, your mom would kill us,” he mumbles, and instead of letting out a moan you whimper right as spencer licks a stripe right up your folds. needless to say, the kid knew you way too well.

you can’t help but tug on his curls, some sort of substitute for not being able to make much noise, but spencer isn’t complaining. if anything it just makes him smirk against you and go twice as hard as he was before. he pushes a digit into your entrance, which almost sets you into overdrive, and you can’t help but roll your hips against his lips.

“you can cum princess, it’s okay,” spencer mumbles, and that’s all you need before you turn your head to moan into your pillow. you’re panting as spencer basically licks you clean, then proceeds to kiss up your body until he’s hovering over top of you. “that wasn’t too strenuous, was it darling?”

you peek one eye open, and of course that stupid spencer knight smirk is right on his lips. “oh shut up, spencer.”

“hm, don’t think i will princess.” 

[chickensarentcheap]

Sanctuary -Chapter 53

Warnings: none

Tagging: @c-a-v-a-l-r-y​, @alievans007​, @thunderintheshadows​, @innerpaperexpertcloud​, @valkyrie-of-the-light​

“Hey,” Kyle greets his sister, as she steps out onto the back deck. “Sleeping beauty! How you feeling?”

“I'm not sure yet,” she admits, using the hand without the IV in to rub sleep from her eyes. “I've got a hell of a headache. But I'm not nauseous for the first time in forever and the dizziness is gone.”

“Headache's probably from the concussion. That's pretty normal. Sounds like the medication he gave you for the puking and the fainting is working so far.”

“I'm getting tired of this goddamn thing already,” she complains, and nods down at the portable IV device slung over her shoulder.

“Well start drinking and eating and keeping it all down and they'll take it out sooner rather than later.”

“Yeah, well if I could think about food without the nausea coming back, I'd eat.  Maybe that'll be next. Where I can actually think about it or look at it without feeling sick,” she sinks down into the chair beside him.  “What time is it?”

“Almost one in the afternoon. You must have needed the rest. You've been out since last night.”

“Jesus...” she presses the heel of her palm into one eyes, than the other. “...I feel like I could keep sleeping. I was up for a little while this morning but I drifted off again.”

“Tyler get in?”

“Yeah, around eight thirty-ish? He's still sleeping. Where's Nik?”

“Went into town to get us some lunch.”

“Oh really...” she stares at him pointedly.  “...us as in you two or as in you two and her people?”

“Us as in me and her.”

“I see. So what's up? Are you two hooking up or...?”

“We're getting to know each other.  We're not going to pull a 'you and Tyler'.  Although I bet those five days were a lot of fun.”

“You have no idea. Five days with him was enough to make me forget anyone else that ever came before him. So you like her? You think she likes you? Come on, spill the beans. I want details.”

“There are no details to give you. We're still in the getting to know you stage. We stayed up pretty late last night.”

“Just talking or...”

“Yes, Esme. Just talking. Like I said, we aren't pulling a 'you and Tyler'. I do have to admit though, I am kind of jealous. What guy doesn't want a situation like that happening?”

“What guy doesn't want to go and rescue the kidnapped son of a drug lord for another drug lord?”

“That's obviously not what I want. I mean having a woman right there....for five days...that can't keep her hands off of him. I mean, it's gross that my sister was the woman, but that is what I call one lucky sonofabitch. Goes into there to do a job...”

“And gets a job,” she finishes with a smirk. “More than one a day, actually.”

“Okay, that I did not need to know.  If you're hungry, I can text her and get her to pick you something up. Just say the word.”

“Oh, we're onto text messaging now. Kyle, you don't normally give women your cell number. Half the time you don't even get first names. You're more the fuck and duck type. You must be really into her.”

“Yeah,” his smile broadens.  “I guess I am. She's something else. Totally unlike anyone else I've ever met.”

“Well she's not a blond with big boobs for one. Or a bar slut.  So she would be unlike anyone you've ever met. You better make your move before this job is over. She's not going to hang around Colorado forever, you know. Because eventually all this crazy shit is going to end and she's going to back to what she normally does. And you don't want that to happen without making a move, do you?”

“I think you need to worry about your personal life.”

“What personal life? I'm married. I have four kids. I have one in the oven. I don't have a personal life. I have to live vicariously through you. And, if I'm being honest, I think Nik would be good for you. She's beautiful, she's strong, insanely intelligent. She has her own thing going on and doesn't need a man's help so she won't be clingy and suffocating.  She has her own place....a beautiful place, I may add...so she won't constantly be on your doorstep and be wanting to move in. What more could you possibly want?”

“Well, she'd have to want me, so there's that.”

“What's not to want? You're my brother but even I can admit you're a super good looking guy, you work out a lot so you've got the whole big shoulders and big arms thing going on, you're funny, you're compassionate, you're strong. And you're a firefighter. What woman does not like firefighters? I can't think of a single on. You guys would be perfect for each other! You're totally unlike any guy she's been with, I can tell you that much.”

“Yeah? How do you know that?”

“Because I know a couple she's been with and I've heard stories of others. She's either been with much older businessmen or guys she's met on the job.”

“Mercenaries? What would she want with a firefighter, then?”

“What wouldn't she want with a firefighter? They're brave, they're bad ass, they're strong as fuck.  That all makes for a very sexy and appealing man, if I do say so myself. Fuck mercenaries. I mean, not all of them obviously, because I married one. But he's in a league of his own and not like the others, trust me.  Nik is perfect for you. And you're perfect for her.  So quit being a whiny bitch baby and make your move! Get her away from Mark, before he pulls his bullshit with her too.”

“She'd probably kill Mark if he even tried with her.”

“Likely. But don't let it come to that. Make a move. Or I will do it for you. I will ask her out for you.”

His eyes narrow. “You wouldn't.”

“Oh yes, I would. Don't put it past me. I'm not above embarrassing the shit out of you. It's time to get your personal life together. Enough with the bar sluts and the random hook ups.  You need a real woman! Someone who can keep you in line! Who has her shit together.  Whose independent and strong and just kick ass. Do it! What the hell are you waiting for?”

“Isn't she technically here on work? Wouldn't that be unprofessional?”

“Who cares? Do you think what Tyler and I did  while we were 'working' was professional? We didn't give a shit. We did it anyway. We did it a lot, actually.”

“That's a very good point. Maybe I was going to set my standards higher than yours,” he teases.

“Bruh, you have no idea what that five days was like. Do not knock it.  You probably haven't had an entire year that could measure up to that five days. I'm just saying.”

“I do not need to know these things about you guys. I mean, I know you guys have sex. Obviously. You have four kids and one on the way. But I don't need to know what kind of sex you guys have.”

“You sure? Because I've got stories that will make you even you blush. You want some Tyler stories? He'd kill me for telling you them, but I have stories for you. That that man's sexual prowess is second to none and he has crazy good stamina.”

Kyle grimaces. “Okay, that's enough. I do not need to know this stuff about my sister and my brother in law. As far as I'm concerned, you've had sex four times and that's when the kids were conceived. That's all I want to think about, okay? Do not put imagines in my head. I'll never have sex again if I get imagines like that in my head. And I'd like to have sex again.”

“With Nik? Come on. It's with Nik, isn't it.”

“What's with Nik?” the woman in question asks, as she steps out onto the deck.

“My brother's balls,” Esme chirps. “They're in your purse, aren't they.”

“Jesus Christ,” Kyle mutters, shaking his head.

“Don't be embarrassed,” Nik says. “I'm used to her. That's nothing compared  to some of the things that I've heard come out of that cute little mouth.  And considering what she puts into that mouth...”

“That's a penis reference in case you didn't get that, Kyle,” Esme teases.

“No I got that. And now I have an image of my sister and my brother in law in my head that I will never get out, until the day I die. And then I'll take it my grave and it will haunt me in the afterlife.”

“Kyle is very sensitive when it comes to any thought of me having sex,” Esme explains to Nik. “Even though I'm married. And I have four kids and one is currently baking. He does not like to think about how I got babies in me.”

“No, I don't it,” he grimaces. “Not at all. So if you could stop...”

“Tyler still sleeping?” Nik asks, as she sits two paper bags in the middle of the patio table and begins unpacking Styrofoam containers of take out.

Esme nods. “He'll probably be out for a while. Jet lag sometimes hits him pretty hard. And his body's trying to get used to being back on the Valium and it takes a bit for him to adjust.”

“He still have that weird haircut?” Kyle asks, as he pushes himself up out of the chair and joins Nik at the table, standing alongside of her.

“Excuse you? Weird haircut? That's his best hair cut yet. And sexy as fuck. So you bite your tongue.”

She notices the way her brother and Nik interact; the little smiles they exchange, the way their shoulders are pressed together, how she leans into him and he briefly lays a hand on the small of her back.

“If he's back on the Valium, do you think he'll be okay in New Zealand?” Nik inquires. “Is that enough time for him to adjust?”

“Should he even be going?”  Kyle counters. “I mean, my sister just got out of the hospital.”

“I was not in the hospital,” Esme says. “I was looked at at the hospital. And Tyler and I haven't talked about this yet. About New Zealand. I think that's the first conversation about it I should have. With him.”

“It doesn't matter if you were actually in the hospital or not,” her brother argues, and hands her a plate of food. “I texted her while we were talking,” he explains, when Esme arches an eyebrow. “Try to eat, kid. That little peanut needs you to eat. Or you will get admitted and you'll be in there a while.”

“You're a pain in my ass, K,” she responds, but gives him an appreciative smile.

“Like I was saying,” he continues. “It doesn't matter if you were in there or not. You're having issues and...”

“Fainting is not having issues. And I fainted because I was dehydrated and my blood pressure was high.”

“You have a concussion and seven stitches in your head,” he points out. “And there could be something wrong. With either you or the baby. We need to be realistic here. It's a possibility. Whether you want to admit it or not. So why take the chance? Why should he go back when he's got all these things going on at home?”

“Because he needs to,” Esme reluctantly admits, and Nik nods in agreement as she sits down beside her. “As much as I hate to admit it and my heart is breaking just thinking about him leaving and going there, it's what's best for him.”

“I don't get how that makes any sense,” Kyle says. “What's best for him is staying here. With you. Especially when you're having issues.”

“What's he going to do, K? Other than sit around here and worry about me. He can't stop what's happening. There's nothing he can actually do about it.”

“There's going to be doctors appointments, test results coming in,” Kyle points out, as he sits to Esme's left. “Shouldn't he be here for that stuff? He's going to want to be here. You can't tell me he won't want to be here.”

“He will,” she says. “But what's best for him is to go to New Zealand and get those kids.”

“I'm not understanding how that's  what's best for him. Isn't this going to be dangerous?”

“Very,” Nik confirms.

“So isn't it better he doesn't go? What happens if something goes wrong. And Emse, I know you hate even thinking about it, let alone talking about it, but there's a very real possibly he could get seriously hurt. Or worse. Is that a risk you want to take? Is that a risk he'd want to take it? That something happens and he doesn't get a chance to meet this baby? I don't see him wanting to take that chance. He's not that selfish. You can't tell me he is.”

“At this point, it doesn't matter what Tyler wants,” Nik speaks up. “It's about what we know is best for him. And Esme knows what's best for him. Probably even more than he does.”

She nods. “Believe me, I don't want him to go. Selfishly, I want him to stay. I want him home. For good.  But I know he needs to do this. He needs to get those kids out of there and get them somewhere safe. Because he will ever forgive himself if he doesn't. If he doesn't go, it's always going to be on his mind that he didn't go there and he didn't get them out. Their blood will be on his hands. And that will haunt him for the rest of his life and I don't...” her voice cracks with emotion.  “....I don't want that for him. I don't want that on his conscience. He'd never be the same.  I'm trying to get him healthy. Mentally. And not going for those kids and having that in his brain? That would break him. And I don't want that happening to him.”

“It's okay...” Nik's voice is soft, soothing, as she reaches out to rub her friend's back in comfort.  “...just try and stay calm.”

“Isn't there someone else?” Kyle asks. “That can do this? Instead of someone with so much to lose?”

“It can't be anyone else,” Esme replies. “It can't. It has to be Tyler. He's the one who accepted this job, he's the one whose been working on it, he has to be the one to go and get them. And I know it doesn't make sense to you, Kyle. You're worried about what will happen to me and the kids if he doesn't come back. And I get that. I do. Because I worry about it every time he walks out the door when he takes a job. But this isn't any job, This is the job that will break him if he doesn't get it done. You don't understand what is going on with him. What's going on in his head.  But I do.  I know him a lot better than you do. So I need you to back off and trust me.  I'm doing what's best for him. Whether you understand why or not.”

“I'm just worried about you, kid. And him. This sounds like some serious shit he's getting himself into.  He's got you and he's got his kids...”

“Kyle, please,” Esme begs. “You need to just back off. I've been living this life for five and a half years. I've been with this man through some really bad shit. That you can't even begin to imagine. And he needs to do this.  You have to trust me when I say that.  I know what I'm talking about. You don't live this life. With him. But I do. And this is what has to happen.”

“Okay...” he reluctantly surrenders. “...I'll cave. I'll trust you. But I still think it's a stupid fucking idea. And he probably will too.”

“You really don't know Tyler that well,” Esme gives a small laugh. “He's already thought of all the possible ways to get those kids out. About all the things that could wrong and how he can counteract them. Once he's this deep into a job, it's an obsession. Even more so with there being kids involved. It won't take much convincing to get him to go.”

Her brother sighs. “I really hope you know what you're doing, kid. Because this could go wrong. So very, very wrong. Are you prepared for that? Just in case?”

“I've been ready for the worst for five and a half years,”  she admits. “You don't think we've considered everything? That we don't have things in place if someone does happen to him? He's not a stupid man. He has everything thought out. Everything planned. In case something does happen. Am I ready for the worst? To live my life without him? Of course I'm not. It's the last thing I want. But he's thought of everything, and the kids and I will be fine if it does happen.”

“But we're going to do everything we can so that doesn't happen,” Nik pipes up. “He has great people watching his back.”

“You're really not going to trust Mark with him are you?” Kyle asks. “He's the last person any of you should trust. He'd kill Tyler before he'd help him. No question about it.”

“We've got two other people,” she says. “Two Marines. He has a rapport with Nathan. And he's a good kid and he's loyal to Tyler in the very short period of time they've known each other.  I'll tell Yaz to make sure that is the one that goes in to help. We need two. There's no way Tyler can get two kids and himself out of there safely. Especially if there's resistance.”

“And there will be,” Esme speaks up. “Resistance. No doubt about it. The Buckmans are not going to just let him walk in there and take those kids.”

“You think they already know he's coming?” Nik asks.

“I know they do. They just don't know when he's going to show up. But they know he's on his way. Especially after what he did at McMann's house to some of their people. “

Kyle frowns. “Who are the Buckmans?”

“An organized crime family in New Zealand,” Esme replies. “Don't ask. It's a very long story. But they're vicious and they're violent and they are not going to let him take those kids peacefully. They're going to fight back. And he knows that.”

“This keeps getting worse and worse,” Kyle grumbles. “And you seriously want him to go into this?”

“I don't want him to go,” his sister responds. “But I know he has to.”

***

He feels her climb into bed beside him; eyes closed as he listens to her mutter profanities about the IV stuck in her hand and the medical contraption she's being forced to carry around with her.  She settles down next to him, on her side with her head resting on his collarbone and her hand on his stomach, and he brings his hand up to gently rest on the top of her head.  Careful to mind the stitches and now very prominent bump that accompanies them.

“You're in my spot,” she says.

“Actually, this is my spot. It's been my spot for four years now.”

“When you're not here it becomes my spot.  I always sleep in your spot. I like sleeping in all your little grooves and your indents.”

He grins. “I can't figure out if that's endearing or super creepy.”

“Fuck you, it's endearing. It makes me feel closer to you. Especially when I can smell you on your pillow. You don't do stuff like that? When I'm not around?”

“When are you ever not around? When I'm home, you're home. So...”

“Is that a complaint? That sounds like a complaint.”

“That is definitely not a complaint,” he assures her, and presses a kiss to her forehead. “There was one time....when you were in the hospital after the twins were born...that I slept with your pillow,” he admits.

“Yeah?”

He nods. “Things were scary and the twins weren't doing well and I had to stay here with Millie and I felt like shit about it. Made me feel better to sleep with your pillow. I don't know why...” he shrugs. “...it just did.”

“Tyler Rake, you big softie.  Everyone else thinks you're so big and bad all the time and I know all the cute little shit you say and do. I should write a book.”

“No, you shouldn't. There's some things we need to keep just between us. People do not need to know those things.”

“Like how you always cry when the kids are watching The Fox and the Hound?”

“Okay, for the record, that's a very sad fucking movie. And I only cry at the part when the old lady leaves Todd in the woods.”

“You even know his name?” she teases. “Baby, you're so cute. You're not as alpha male as you and other people think you are. Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. I won't tell anyone that Disney movies make you cry.”

“It's one movie. One. And I never would have known about it if you didn't buy it for the kids and your one son....who shall remain nameless...wouldn't stop watching it for three months. And he'd come bawling to me every time that part came on and make me sit and watch it with him because it said made him feel better if I sat with him. That's not what it was. That little shit just didn't want to be alone in his misery.”

“That's it, throw Junior under the bus.  I told you he's just like you.  He even cries at the same things. Didn't you both cry watching Iron Giant too?”

“I did not cry. I had something in my eyes.”

“Sure you did,” she laughs, and places a kiss on the side of his neck.   “Didn't you cry watching Gladiator?”

“That was a bitch move Commodus pulled on my boy Russell Crowe and you know it.  And you're the one that cries at commercials so you're the last one who should be on me about sad movies. How many times have you had to ask me to change channel because those ASPCA commercials and you get all weepy over the animals? Hundreds. Thousands. Every time one comes on. And then I have to listen to you go into a sob story about your golden retriever when you were growing up.”

She rests her chin on his chest and glares up at him. “Don't you bring Max into this. He was the goodest good boy ever and my mom only got rid of him because Kyle kept bringing home bad report cards and because he was so 'stupid' as she called him, she hit him where it hurt the most and got rid of his dog. He was never the same after that.”

“So that's what's wrong with him.”

“Well there's a lot wrong with him, but that's besides the point. Why would you do that? Bring Max into things. Now look...”  she sniffles, tears sparkling in her eyes, lower lip wobbling.  “...you're a horrible person.”

He can't help but chuckle, and then gives an apologetic smile. “I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean to make you cry.”

“Yes you did. I swear you enjoy it. You're a masochist.”

“Wouldn't that make a me a sadist? If I enjoy making you cry?”

“It makes you an asshole is what it makes you,” she huffs, and he bites back a laugh and moves his hand to the back of her head and pushes her face down to his chest.

“I'm sorry.  I do not like making you cry and you know it. And I'm sorry your mom got rid of your dog because your brother's a dumb ass.”

“I told she's psychotic. I told you!”

“If it wouldn't make us brother and sister, I'd say hook her up with my dad. They'd be perfect for each other. They could just make each other miserable and leave everyone else alone.”

“As much as I'd enjoy the two of them torturing each other, I do not want to be related to you. That's a level of Jerry Springer Show red neck shit I do not want to get involved with.”

“There's probably porn about that. Husband and wife who are also step brother and  step sister.”

“You'd know. That's probably the weird shit you look up.”

“I do not watch porn.”

“You're a fucking liar.  We've watched it together.”

A slow grin spreads across his face. “Oh yeah...I remember that...you were into it way more than I was.”

She gives a derisive snort.

“I am sorry. That I brought the dog into things. And that your mom's a psycho. You won't have to worry about that much longer. Once we get fuck out of here. She's going to lose her shit, you know. When she finds out we're leaving.”

“She just told me that we're all dead to her. She won't give a shit.”

“Babe, tomorrow she's going to call and she's going to try and convince you that she never said those things or try and get you to believe that she didn't mean them the way you took them or that you're overreacting. It's the same bullshit every time she does something like this.”

“I'm starting to think she's the reason why Sarge is the way he is.”

“You're just starting to think that? I've been thinking that since I met her. She's messed up. And you think you have issues.”

“I do. I have one big issue. That's six foot three and two hundred and ten pounds.”

“Two twenty.”

“Is the extra ten pounds your middle aged spread?”

He scowls. “I'm not middle aged. Sixty is middle aged.”

“Tyler, no one lives to be a hundred and twenty.”

“Is that a challenge? That sounds like a challenge.”

“Look, as much as I want you to live to a ripe old age, we both know you're not making it that long. Because you know one day I'm going to snap and I will kill you long before you get there. And it's going to be a lot sooner if you don't stop leaving your dirty laundry in front of the hamper instead of putting them inside. You've been warned. About a hundred times in the past month alone. Is that really the hill you want to die on?”

“Maybe it is. Maybe it's like death by cop.  Put yourself in the line of fire so someone else does the dirty work for you.”

“I can think of other more pressing things to kill you over than dirty laundry,” she says, and snuggles her face into the space between his neck and shoulder. “And I haven't killed you yet so I think it's safe to safe that it's not going to happen. That as much as you drive me batshit insane, I'd rather you be here than do that than not be here at all.”

He smiles at that, then presses his lips to her forehead. “You good? Feeling okay?”

“Well I did eat. Not a lot but I did get some into me and I haven't thrown it up. I think those meds are working. To stop the puking. But I have a killer headache.”

“It's the concussion. It'll go away in a couple of days. Where does it hurt?”

She reaches up to move his hand to her forehead, so his thumb sits between the edge of her eyebrow and the side of her nose.  “Don't press too hard. You don't know your own strength half the time.” And she gives a long, content sigh when his thumb presses into the tender spot and begins massaging in firm, slow circles. “I've been taking care of you and kids for so long, I forgot how nice it is to have someone take care of me.”

“Well, I try. But you don't let me do it, so....”

“I could get used to this,” she gives another sigh.  “You can stick around. You're useful after all.”

He grins and drops a kiss on the top of her head.

“I told Kyle,” she says.

“About?”

“You. About what you do.”

“You mean other than drive you crazy and give you awesome dick?”

She nods. “I told him about you. About what you do for a living. That it isn't private security. That you're actually a mercenary. Don't be mad. I know we agreed to not tell people.”

“We agreed to not tell people five and a half years ago. It doesn't matter who knows now. This is it. The last job. Once I'm done, I'm done. Doesn't matter if anyone knows.”

“You promise? That this is it? That a year from now you're not going to get bored and go back to it?”

“I promise. Once this is over, that guy won't exist anymore.”

“He'll never disappear entirely, Tyler. That's impossible. He'll always be a part of you. And that's not a bad thing. That guy? That Tyler? He's not a horrible person. I mean, he's the guy that I fell in love to begin with, right? That wouldn't have happened if he was a terrible person.”

“Maybe you just have shitty taste in men,” he teases, and she laughs against his neck.

“I don't want him disappearing entirely,” she says. “Because there's parts of him that I really like. That I want to stick around. That I need to stick around.”

“Yeah? Like what?”

“He's strong. Fearless. He'd do anything to protect me and the kids.”

“It doesn't need to be the old Tyler to be those things. That's just part of who I am.”

“Then hang onto that part, okay? Because I'm so lucky to have that part. We've had our issues. But there's never been a time where I didn't feel safe with you. I've always trusted that part of you. That nothing would happen to me or the kids.”

“Nothing will,” he assures her. “You're safe with me. You're all safe with me.”

“I know. And I know what you're capable of doing to do people, so I feel sorry for anyone that even tries to hurt me or the kids. It'll be different. When we go back to Australia. We can find a little town to move to. Where no one knows us. Where it's quiet and peaceful and we can just start over. Where no one knows our past and we're just the new family in town.  Where we can have a normal life.”

“Have you met our kids? They are far from normal.  No one will ever think we're normal. Trust me.”

“Especially you with that hair cut,” she teases.

“Excuse me? This hair cut is only here because you insist I keep it this way.”

��I do love it,” she says, and reaches up to push her fingers through the longer strands.  “You need to tidy it up.  Shave the sides and the back. You're starting to look shaggy again.”

“I might shave my beard off though.”

“Do it and I file for divorce. That's the only warning you're getting.”

He chuckles at that.

“Your kids wouldn't even recognize you. You've always had a beard. With all of them. Millie would probably cry. She'd need therapy for sure.”

“Never mind her. You'd probably cry and need therapy.”

“Yeah,” she giggles. “That's not a lie.”

“What did he say? Kyle. When you told him about what I do?”

“Well, he initially wanted to kick your ass. Which would be hilarious to see him try, you have to admit. He's a big boy and he's tough, but he wouldn't last long against you. Maybe you can kick his ass because it's his fault my mom got rid of Max.”

“Not that again. Try to stay on track here, okay? Your ADHD is showing. It's like a dog that can't concentrate because he keeps seeing a squirrel.”

“Why do you keep comparing me to animals? First it's an angry goat and now it's a dog who loves squirrels.”

“Look, I don't have the brain pan you do. I go with what I know. You're the brains of this operation, not me. So, focus. What did your brother say?”

“After he said he wanted to kick your ass?”

He sighs.  As much as he loves her and would readily and willingly die for her, sometimes having what should be a simple conversation turns into a massive test of patience. “Yes.”

“I don't think he really believed me at first. I mean, that's kind of a messed up thing to hear. That your brother in law does that sort of thing. But I told him all about Dhaka and what happened there and it helped him understand things. He's fine with it. Well, as fine with it as someone can be, I guess.  I don't think he wants to kick your ass anymore.”

“He could try. But...”

“Yeah, no killing my brother, okay? He's the only brother I actually like. He okay with it...” she rubs his stomach. “...he knows it's what you do, not who you are. And he trusts me to make the right decisions. For myself and the kids. And this is the right decision. You're the right decision. I wouldn't have stuck around this long if you weren't.”

“Well I'm glad you did. Stick around.”

She draws back and smiles at him. “Yeah?”

Tyler nods. “Even if I am an asshole that makes you cry sometimes.”

“For what's worth, you make me smile and laugh way more than you make me cry. And you make me do other things too.”

“Yeah? What other things?”

“Oh, you know...”she slides her hand over his stomach and abs and then down onto the front of his boxers.

“You need me to leave me alone,” he informs her, and grabbing a hold  of her hand, moves it back up to his stomach.

“That's a first. You saying that. Normally I'm telling you to leave me alone at the most ungodly hours.”

“Yeah...well...” he frowns when her hand slips down again, once more taking hold of it. “...you need to stop...”

“No,” she says, and then her lips and her tongue on the side of his neck.

He momentarily gives it. Grip on her hand releasing, throat tightening, feeling that familiar stirring below the waist. But then he sees that IV line in her hand. “Stop...” he pushes her away.  “...you seriously need to stop and leave me alone...”  he tosses the blankets off of him and reluctantly climbs out of bed.

“Where are you going?” she asks innocently.

“To take a cold shower,” he grumbles, and then disappears into the ensuite bathroom.

[sage-nebula]

I hope you dont mind my asking, but wouldn't GF have decided to remove the national dex long before LGPE released? I can see those games selling well confirming to GF that "pokemon sell well regardless of cut features" but it feels strange to blame it on LGPE when the development time on the games would suggest they made this choice awhile ago. (Not to defend lgpe lack of content) Sorry if this is a bother, I just feel like I'm missing something and would really like to understand your reasoning

For almost any other game I would agree, however for Pokémon in particular:

The National Dex (insofar as the ability to transfer old pokémon over) was never going to be a Day One feature. It’s never a Day One feature in the first games of the generation. Even if they wanted to make it one, in this case they couldn’t because Home isn’t releasing until 2020. As I’ve said in other posts, if they wanted to patch in the NatDex, they’d have the time to do it. Technically speaking, they’d have the time to do it, especially since the fanbase would be willing to wait (even if there’d be a few whiners here or there) the extra time.

Since it’s not a Day One feature, it’s something that can be worked on later in the development cycle (/can even continue to be worked on after the development cycle, or at least it could be if this series were treated with the respect of, say, The Legend of Zelda series). Again, I’m not talking about DLC that’s already on the game card that needs to be activated later, I’m talking about DLC that’s patched in, content created after that you download either to the harddrive or (though I don’t know if Switch DLC works this way specifically) onto the game card itself. Given the type of content they generally want to show early in the release cycle (the general theme / concept of the games, scenes of the various areas in the region, new ‘mon), and the fact that this would be a feature added post-release anyway, we can make a safe bet that the NatDex is something they’d work on much later in the development cycle, possibly even in the last year since, again . . . they’d have that time if they wanted to use it (and if this series was treated with genuine respect).

The Let’s Go games were stated by Masuda to be the future of the franchise if they sold well. They featured a Pokédex that was limited to only the Kanto ‘Dex, plus Meltan and Melmetal. They released in November 2018, and indeed, they sold well. In early 2019 (February, IIRC) Sword & Shield were released. While of course I don’t work at Game Freak and thus can’t say for sure, I would place money on the idea that if they were even a bit on the fence about adding the National Dex, the fact that Let’s Go sold so well despite being limited to 153 ‘mon pushed them right over the edge to, “Cut the National Dex from Sword & Shield, there’s no point in working on it.” I mean, why should they expend the effort if people will buy the games anyway? Especially when President Ishihara went on record saying that long-time fans only cared about “new pokémon and features” around the time of Let’s Go’s release. Sure, they might have already been thinking about cutting the National Dex beforehand, but Let’s Go no doubt assured them that it was a safe and correct call to make.

So that’s what I mean when I say that Let’s Go’s positive sales figures sealed all of our fates. To be entirely honest, before the National Dex announcement, I was certain that we wouldn’t see the shockwaves from Let’s Go until Gen IX. But Sword & Shield having a limited ‘Dex just like Let’s Go, and having special feature ‘mon behind $60 paywalls like Let’s Go, and having core features stripped out like Let’s Go, and the fact that it’s starting to look frighteningly like the starters won’t be able to evolve like in Let’s Go . . . the effect is pretty apparent. Sure, some of this stuff was present even before Let’s Go (namely the whole “let’s ditch useful features in the name of simplifying things” tack that Masuda has been married to for years now), but in the wake of Let’s Go, it’s success, and what Masuda said would happen if it was successful, it’s really hard not to see the link.

(Note just in case anyone read too quickly: I’m not saying the starters WON’T evolve. I’m only saying that I’m starting to fear that’s the case since we’re less than a month away from release and we haven’t even seen second stage evolutions yet. Maybe they’re just trying to keep starter evolutions a surprise, that’s entirely possible, but it’s also highly suspect, and Game Freak destroyed any trust or good faith I had in them a while back.) 

As a final note, the reason why I say that the Pokémon games aren’t treated with respect is . . . well, there are a few reasons:

Game Freak stated themselves that they put their B Team on Sword & Shield while their A Team worked on Little Town Hero. They also said they wanted to create something, “as exciting, or perhaps even more exciting” than Pokémon. They’re tired of working on Pokémon, and it shows. Which, I mean, I get it, it’s been 20+ years, but in that case tell Nintendo so that they can shift the main games over to another studio. I get that Game Freak was created for the sole purpose of making Pokémon, and maybe Taijiri-san is pissed at how you’re disrespecting his baby (I would be), but for the good of the series, if you don’t want to work on it, give it to someone who does. Don’t just shift it onto your bare bones secondary dev team.

These games are in a hellish development cycle where a new one is popped out every year. Contrast this to The Legend of Zelda where, while we’ve had some anomalies where assets were able to be largely reused and so games came out only a couple years apart (see: Ocarina of Time to Majora’s Mask) --- even that had two or three years before releases, not one the very next year. Most mainline Zelda games spend five or six years in development. I’m fully aware that we will likely be waiting until something like 2022 for Breath of the Wild 2, and I am prepared to wait that time because I know the game we get will be incredible. Granted, I’m going to be dying every single time they announce a release date to push it back, but it’ll be a death I’m grateful for because I will know that the end product will be worth it. The Pokémon games used to have a similar luxury. While there were a grand total of five games released during that time (with “five games” being used loosely, given that one was a slight upgrade and the other four were really two games with slight differences between versions), Gen IV lasted for a grand total of four years. We had Diamond & Pearl in 2006, Platinum in 2008, HeartGold & SoulSilver in 2009, and then finally, Black & White in 2010. By contrast, Gen VII didn’t even last three years, technically. I mean, this November would be its third anniversary, but that’s when Gen VIII officially starts instead. To be fair, it could be argued that Gen IV didn’t have a full four years since it came out in September 2006, and Gen V came out in September 2010. But even if you make that argument, it still had a full year on Gen VII, and to be honest, that showed. The Sinnoh games are far and away not my faves, but they were still full of content. HeartGold & SoulSilver are often considered to be the best remakes in the entire franchise, and considering the content that was cut from OmegaRuby & AlphaSapphire and Masuda’s reasoning for why that content was cut, I can’t exactly argue with that even though I did genuinely enjoy ORAS. And the games that Gen IV ushered in? Controversial opinion, but I think that the Pokémon games peaked with Gen V. Black & White not only initially had a ‘dex that was nothing but new pokémon (and yet STILL included the Nat Dex later, because in Masuda’s own words he felt it cruel to keep people from playing with their faves forever!), but it also introduced a METRIC TON of new mechanics, some of which we no longer get to use (Rotation Battles? Game Freak doesn’t know her). Who knows what exactly Game Freak did with that extra year, but it was clearly a lot of work given how wonderful the games were in Gen IV and Gen V. The extra dev time showed.By contrast, Gen VII got 2.5 years (or 3 if you’re being generous). Every single game released during this gen had massive content cuts, even when comparing to Gen VI, which also had massive content cuts. Mechanics were stripped away, and Ultra Sun & Ultra Moon technically didn’t have a NatDex either, but at least you could still have all of your ‘mon in them at a later date if you wanted to. Now with Sword & Shield, we don’t even have that, despite the Switch being far more powerful than the 3DS. (We also don’t have Mega Evolution for whatever godforsaken reason, even though the Kanto Mega Evolutions at the very least were already used in Let’s Go, the fuck, Game Freak). Pokémon games print money and always have, and Game Freak has taken this and their lack of interest in the series to the depressing but I suppose logical extreme of “do whatever and they’ll buy it anyway.” There’s no love here, there’s no respect here. They just don’t care anymore, and as someone who does care an awful lot, it’s super upsetting to me.

And while people have tried to argue that the games can’t be delayed because of the anime or the card game or whatever else:

The games come first. They’ve always come first. I know some people mistakenly think that the anime came first and that the games were created later, but that is 100% false. Pokémon started as a game series and the anime was created to advertise the games, straight up.

Filler episodes exist, and the PokéAni is no stranger to them. The Orange Islands arc was an entire arc of filler created to pad time between Gens I and II. The Delacora Islands (or whatever they were called) was a filler arc meant to pad time between Gens V and VI. Arguably the majority of the Sun & Moon anime was filler, given its slice-of-life genre, meaning the anime was even less of an excuse not to delay Sword & Shield. You can’t tell me people wouldn’t have been happy with another year of the Alola crew running around getting into random adventures. People would have eaten that up and loved it. We could have had it all.

I’m not even going to dignify “but the card game” with a response lmao. This isn’t Yu-Gi-Oh!. Sure, the card game makes money, and probably a decent amount of it (merch sales probably make up the franchise’s greatest source of income, and as someone who easily spent several hundred dollars in two weeks at the PokéCenters in Japan---including over $100 in one trip to a PokéCenter while I was there, and we went multiple times---I am a big part of that), but they come up with bullshit new expansions all the time and could easily keep doing it. Again, not a reason to delay the games if the games need more time in development.

So all in all, at the end of the day, Game Freak is no longer treating these games with love and respect, which makes them an awful lot like the villains in the games they create. The Let’s Go games were harbingers of disaster for the games, and we were told this very plainly, and just about no one listened. In fact, I legitimately lost friendships with people who got mad at me for making Facebook statuses about how they should buy Let’s Go used if they absolutely had to have them because how DARE I believe Ishihara when he said that Let’s Go were considered core titles, and how DARE I believe Masuda when he said that Let’s Go would usher in the last twenty years of the franchise. Clearly, I was just being an ugly bitch. (I wish I was exaggerating, but this actually happened, I got blocked over it, it was ridiculous.) And now here we are as a result, with no hope of things getting better unless Nintendo forcibly rips Pokémon out of Game Freak’s hands, which I don’t even think they can legally do given that they only own 1/3rd of the IP. (The other 2/3rds belong to Game Freak and Creatures Inc., as I understand it.) 

TL;DR:

Pokémon is still my favorite fictional fantasy world, but as someone who has always loved the games first and foremost, the current state of it depresses me to no end.

[iphoenixrising]

Ahhhh!!! New here, so ive been reading all of your stories (LOVE MER BATBOYS). Will you ever go back to writing consistently? What made you stop?

Hi babe.  Welcome to the party ;)It’s very ironic peeps liked the MerDick/MerJay/Tim thing because really, I only meant to be like, a one-shot idea-y thing XD  I know nothing about writing fishy thing lol.

But no seriously, I’m honestly not posting as often as I used to or writing so many things as I was a year or two ago. So, partly that is because I started at an IT company that develops applications, which was a HUGE learning curve from the large IT environment I’d been learning and writing about for three years before that. BUT, at that job, I had some time to eek out during the day to write on like fanfic stuff between large projects, so I had more time, you know?

So, this job is just, a really big adjustment. I’ve started to learn to write in code so just, yeah, careers and stuff have something to do with it.

The other part of it is my little kiddo :D  

She’s five, turning six in August, and started kindergarten this year :D :D :D She’s older and learning and growing and just tearing my heart out because she’s such a big girl now and my fucking feelings. So, being Becca’s Mommy is kinda another thing eating up writing time lol.

Last thing, which has been here for about six months, is Cody. Cody is not technically  my nephew, but back in 2013 when I was pregnant, I met his family, worked with his mom, and like became part of their fam with kiddo’s dad and such. Like, we are all super close. In about a year, I decided it was time to move home where the grandparents are and we moved about three or four hours away. 

Shit happened between then and now, like ex-hubby is a thing because he was a cheating ass hat, and after I kicked him to the curve, I had a young infant, a full-time job, and...

my evenings free to write.

Which is when I started talking to people about writing fanfiction myself :D

ANYWAY,

This past November, this kiddo is now 21 and having a hard time in the area, which is a suburb of DC and not a good one. So, he moved down here with me and kiddo, and it’s more of like a little family unit :D

And thus, he takes up my evening most of the time, lol. For his job, he goes out of town a night or two a week sometimes, and those time I get a chance to write a bit if the muse strikes. Sometimes it does and I get like a few followers posts out or some Asks answered.

So...yeah, I hope this gives you a bit of insight? But, really, babe, I’m going to keep trying to post whenever I can and I’m happy with a drab or whatnot, okay?