#ive been coughing and wheezing about this for 20 minutes

[twottie-m8]

If I had a nickel for every popular manhwa adaptation of a novel that isn't bl that manages to include mpreg, I'd have 2 nickels.

[queerminalminds]

10th doctor x male reader

10 | doctor?

a/n: this is a part 2 to "pet names and cuddles"

y/n: your name

y/n's pov

i shuffle a little in bed, just waking up i move my leg and it hits something. i perk up a little and see there's another figure in my bed. i freak out a little but realize it's the doctor and i smile.

he's still asleep. i thought. i lean over to see his peaceful face while sleeping. he's so beautiful. his breathing is evenly paced, my arm is around his chest and i can feel both of his hearts beating proudly. i mess with his hair a little, trying not to wake him. i decide to get up and get dressed, then realizing i was in the doctor's room, not mine.

i quietly leave the room, giving the doctor a final look before heading to my room. i go and get dressed and head to to the kitchen located down the hall from the doctor and i's room. i get out bowls and pans, i decided that i was gonna make the doctor some eggs, beans and toast. a generic scottish breakfast. since this regeneration is scottish.

it takes about 20 minutes to make all together, i hope the doctor isn't up yet. i put everything on a big plate and bring some juice along with it. i walk slowly to the doctor's room, trying not to drop everything. i enter and see him shuffle in the bed, good timing he's just now waking up. i stand there, not wanting to scare him. he sits up and runs his eyes then looks up at me.

"oh y/n."

"hi doctor, i brought you some breakfast. im not really that good at cooking though." i handed him the plate along with the juice.

"y/n, you didn't need to do this for me." he says as he looks down at the food.

"i like spoiling you, i just felt like giving you breakfast in bed today." i reply and sit down next to him.

"what is this stuff?" he asks.

"it's a generic scottish breakfast, eggs, toast and beans." i explain.

"what's scottish?" he tilts his head and i laugh.

"it's the accent you have silly." i giggle.

"yes, right that. sorry i was blanking out a little." he shakes his head a little and runs a hand through his messy hair. i stare at him with a concerned look.

"doctor are you alright?" i ask and he doesn't reply, in fact he doesn't even look up from his food.

"babe?" i whisper, you can hear the concern in my voice. he finally looks up.

"huh?" he says.

"are you sure you're alright? you didn't answer me when i said your name." i put my hand on his shoulder and he leans his head down to rub against my hand.

"you said babe and i answered you though?" he tilts his head again.

"no your real name, doctor." i say.

"right yeah that's my name doctor?" he asks.

"ok somethings definitely wrong with you." i say as i put my hand up against his forehead. his forehead seemed kind of warm and i frowned and stood up and left the room.

"y/n where are you going?" he asks as i leave, i don't answer him and i walk up the stairs to the tardis console.

"god i wish you could speak tardis." i said as my hand ran along the console.

"somethings wrong with the doctor, he doesn't even remember his own name. he only responds to pet names i give him." i ramble to the tardis, knowing i won't get an answer in return. suddenly i heard the tardis wheeze and the tardis shook, like we were moving.

the tardis eventually stopped and i walked towards the door, a bit scared on what i will find. i open the door and we are outside of an apartment complex. i took in my surroundings and saw a blonde girl running towards me. i shut the door so she couldn't see inside.

"no way! how? how can he be back? doctor?" she asked me and i looked at her in disbelief.

"uh im not a doctor sorry." i say nervously and scratch my head.

"but this is the tardis. are you the doctor's new companion?" she asked, she seemed to know a lot about the doctor.

"how do you so much about the doctor?" i asked.

"im rose tyler, i was the doctor's companion once. but how did you get here? this is an alternative earth. it's almost impossible to get here." she explains.

"oh yeah he's talked to me about you." i say and she smiles.

"really? it's been years for me since i've seen the doctor."

"hey rose!" a familiar voice calls out from behind her. she turns around and i see him, the doctor, but it wasn't him. he was wearing different clothes. not his usual attire, otherwise he looks the exact same.

"doctor?" i ask and stare at him.

"who are you?" he asks and he grabs rose's hand.

"i-im y/n." i introduce my self and i shake his hand.

"nice to meet you y/n." he says and smiles, god that smile, the same.

"how-" i start and rose cuts me off.

"long story but he isn't your doctor. he has 1 heart, he's human." she explained and i nodded trying to follow along.

"why are you here anyways? and where's the doctor?" she asked and my mood went from confused to upset.

"im not sure, the tardis took us here all by herself." i replied shrugging.

"but there's um, something wrong with him. he doesn't remember his own name. but i, i call him by pet names and he responds with those but not his own name." i explained and rose giggled a bit.

"let's see if we can help shall we?" the other doctor asks leading us to the door of the tardis. i open the door and we all enter.

we head back down to his room and i tell them to say outside so he doesn't get freaked out by seeing himself and rose. he told me that he loved rose and it still has me jealous.

"hey handsome?" i say in more of a question and he turns around from whatever he's doing and smiles and runs over to me.

"y/n!" he exclaims and embraces me tightly. i smile and look behind me, seeing rose just giving me a wink and a thumbs up, rolling my eyes i look back to the doctor.

"you still feeling okay?" i ask and he nods.

"never been better? who's with you?" he looks around me and his eyes widen.

"ive seen you before haven't i!" he says and points at rose.

"it's me doctor. it's rose." she says softly and walks towards the doctor.

"i-i don't know a rose..." the doctor stutters and backs up a little towards his bed. rose stops heading towards him and backs up towards her human doctor.

"y/n- why does that guy look like me?" he breathes heavily and i sit down on his bed and force him to sit. i put my hand against his chest to feel both of his hearts beating way too fast.

"he's like your doppelgänger baby, it's fine." i explain and i feel his hearts beat slow down and he sighs loudly.

"y/n, now i do feel kind of weird. my head feels all fuzzy." he says quietly so the other doctor and rose can't hear.

i curse quietly at myself and stand up and pace around the room, fingers yanking at my hair.

"y/n come here for a second." rose says and i stomp over to her.

"sorry im not mad at you, just myself." i apologize.

"not your fault. when did this thing all start?" she asks.

"earlier this morning, i made him breakfast in bed." i answer.

"what did you make him?"

"eggs, toast and beans." i say and rose and the other doctor look at each other.

"beans are evil. i don't like beans." the doctor says and that confuses me.

"beans are sometimes bad yeah but is something wrong with them?"

"why did he eat the beans?" rose asks quietly to herself.

"do beans do something to the doctor?" i ask, very confused.

"they kind of twist up the doctor's mind when eaten, he must've not been paying attention to what he was eating i suppose." rose states.

"hold on, is this even possible?"

"yes, it's very possible y/n." the other doctor replies.

"how do we fix him? i really need my old doctor back."

"y/n are you coming back?! i want cuddles!" the doctor yells from inside his room.

"cuddles eh?" rose smirks.

"another time, please? we have bigger problems here." i beg and she nods.

"the only way to restart our system is through drinking some sort of vinegar, doesn't really matter what kind. it's bloody terrible though." the doctor says.

i walk back into the room and quickly grab the doctor’s arm and drag him out of the room.

“y/n, what are you doing?” he asks as i drag him over to the kitchen. luckily we have apple cider vinegar in the cabinet. i poured a little into a cup and gave it to him to drink.

“what’s this?” he asks as he studies the liquid.

“it’s apple juice.” i lie as he immediately downs the drink and starts coughing and then he practically passes out on the ground. i quickly grab the cup before it hits the ground so it doesn’t break.

a couple seconds later the doctor sits up and looks around.

“y/n? what are we doing in the kitchen? weren’t we just in my room?” he asks and stands up.

“doctor?”

“yes?” he replies and turns around and scratches his head.

“you’re back. thank god. rose it worked!” i yell down the hall.

“rose!?” the doctor shouts and he runs towards the direction where i yelled to. i quickly follow behind, back to his room.

“they must’ve snuck out.” i say to myself.

“why did you say rose? like rose tyler? what happened?” he asks frantically, in a state of panic.

“calm down doctor you’re fine, you just had some bad food earlier.” i say gently.

“it was pretty tasty, you’re a good cook y/n.” he winks and runs up to the tardis console.

“hey doctor! you’re still in your pajamas!” i yell and he comes running back down and into his room.

“thank you!” he yells on the way down and i laugh as he gets dressed.

a/n: summary of this is, beans are evil.

[krisdreaming]

Omg, that Iwaizumi scenario is the cutest thing I've recently seen ❤ Can I ask for the same one with Kuroo? ❤

OF COURSE omg. This is the Iwa scenario they’re referring to. I’m getting back into writing with a super self-indulgent Kuroo thing bc who would I be if I didn’t? :’) (college AU!)

Edit: 4+1 masterlist is here

-

Four times Tetsurou thinks he loves you, and the one time he finally says it out loud.

i.

The library is completely silent save for the murmur of other students whispering and the soft patter of the rain outside hitting the window panes. Tetsurou is here to keep you company more than anything. You’ve got a huge test coming up, and you’ve been studying for almost two hours now. Tetsurou had finished his chemistry assignment 20 minutes ago, so now he’s just aimlessly surfing the web. 

Bored, he glances at you over the top of his laptop screen. You’re still hard at work with your head bent over your textbook, nibbling on the end of your pen. Something tugs in his middle. You must feel his eyes on you, because after a few moments, you look up at him with a frown. “What?”

He licks his lips, then shakes his head. “Nothing. You soon done?”

You laugh. It’s one of his favorite sounds. “Soon.”

You look back down at your book, but he can’t stop looking at you. The tug in his middle has taken the form of three small words, but this isn’t the place to say them. He’s not sure he could, even if it was. Instead, he turns them over in his mind, and decides he likes the feel of them. I love you.

ii.

Kenma is laying on his belly Tetsurou’s bed, tapping away at his video game console. The soft music playing from his game is pleasant background noise now that the movie playing on your laptop has ended. You and Tetsurou are sitting on the floor, with your backs propped against the bed. He’s feeling a little giddy, most likely a combination of the lateness and all of the sugar you’d consumed.

“That was awful!” You laugh, knocking your shoulder against his. “Who let you decide what movie we should watch?”

“Kenma.” Tetsurou points up, in the general direction of his friend behind him. Kenma scowls even though neither of you can see him.

“Did not.” He protests softly. “All I said was that I didn’t care what we watched.”

“Same thing.” Tetsurou laughs even though it’s not really that funny. You join him for a little bit, but the sound soon dies on your lips, and you hug his arm, pillowing your head on his shoulder and peering up at him through your eyelashes. The remains of the smile that lingers on your face is soft. He falls silent, too.

“Tetsu, I’m starting to get sleepy now.” You murmur. He leans down to press a quick kiss to the tip of your nose.

“Are you?” The warm affection in his voice even takes him by surprise.

“Mm-hmm.” You hum, and you slide down until your head is resting against his thigh. You close your eyes and release a soft sigh, and looking down at you a warm tingle that’s not unpleasant fills Tetsurou’s chest. I love you catches in his throat, and instead of saying anything, his fingers begin gently carding through your hair.

After a few minutes of silence, Kenma peers over the edge of the bed at you, then looks at Tetsurou with a quirked eyebrow. There’s nothing to deny, so Tetsurou just shrugs, a half smile ghosting across his face. The look in Kenma’s eyes is a little too knowing.

iii.

“Ooh, look at this!” You tug on Tetusrou’s hand, and once again he’s being pulled to another exhibit. He’d had a feeling you’d enjoy checking out this museum and the special history installation they’d advertised, but he hadn’t quite expected this level of enthusiasm. 

You are so into this. You’re stopping to read every plaque, leaning in close to look at everything on display. Other people are skirting around the two of you but you’re oblivious to it. He thinks it’s absolutely adorable.

“Isn’t this so cool?” You look at him, and your eyes are practically glowing. He wants to tease that you’ve never quite looked at him with the same enthusiasm. “Thanks for taking me here.” You continue, and your smile goes softer as you tug on his hand again, this time to bring him close enough to press a quick kiss to his lips. He can’t resist, and leans in to return the favor, smiling against your lips for just a few moments.

“Of course.” He says, shrugging as though it’s really no big deal.

“You know me so well.” You grin before turning your attention back to the exhibits, still keeping a firm hold on his hand. He gives yours three slight squeezes. If you pick up on the hidden meaning and the words he shouldn’t say for the first time in public, you don’t give any sign.

iv.

“You shouldn’t be here.” Tetsurou just manages to wheeze out, but you shake your head firmly.

“Too bad, I’m here.” You say breezily, and he’s entirely too woozy to do anything else about it. “I have medicine, and I brought some tea, that should help your throat.” You’re already bustling around the room, heating up the electric kettle and dropping a tea bag into a mug. “You still feel pretty gross, huh?”

His response is a coughing fit that he tries unsuccessfully to hold back. Immediately, you’re at his side, concern coloring your face as you unscrew the cap from the bottle of water you’d placed on his bedside stand. After taking enough sips to placate you, he sets it back down, and you reach out and tenderly brush his hair away from his flushed face. He watches as you return to the tea, pouring the now hot water into the mug. You’re humming softly to yourself as you squeeze in a generous amount of honey.

You’re so good at taking care of him. He hadn’t even asked for it, and yet here you are, making him tea and bringing him medicine and looking at him with those soft eyes. He doesn’t deserve you, but yet you’re still here, sticking stubbornly by his side.

“Here.” You hand him the mug and lean in to brush a quick kiss to his forehead. “You drink this, and I’m going to go pick up some soup, okay?”

“Thank you.” He says as he lifts the mug to his lips, smiling meekly at you over the rim as you turn to go. He loves you so much that it almost scares him.

v.

Having you in his arms again is better than Tetsurou could have imagined. Winter break had only lasted a few weeks, but to him it had felt like an eternity. “I missed you!” You breathe into his neck, and he can feel the words on his skin. He hugs you a little closer.

“I missed you too.” Finally he releases you so that he can look at your face again, trying to memorize every feature even more clearly for the next time you’ll have to be apart. You grin at him, reaching to sandwich his face between your hands.

“You look so serious.” You giggle, and he can’t help but crack a smile at that before you pull his face down to yours and kiss him one more time.

“Now what?” He asks after you pull away, not really caring what you do next as long as he’s with you.

You think for a few moments, then open the door of your dorm directly behind you and tug him inside. “I kinda just want to cuddle for the rest of the night.” You admit. Nothing has ever sounded so perfect to him.

“I love you.” He says without thinking, and his eyes blow wide almost as fast as yours do.

“What?” You ask, blinking at him, and he reaches for your hands, supposing now is as good a time as any.

“I love you.” He repeats, suddenly feeling just a little bashful. “And I mean that. You’re… amazing.” His fingers skim your cheek. “But it’s okay if you don’t want to say it back yet, I-”

“I love you too.” You blurt out before he can even finish his sentence, and he feels like he’s smiling impossibly big. 

“Yeah?” He’s searching your face again, wanting to memorize every single part of this moment.

“Yeah.” You grin. The next time he says it is five seconds later, against your lips, and he wonders how something so easy had taken him so long to say.

[sonjaohno]

Democracy in America

Hello dear friends and family,

October is off to a crisp start and I've been busy squirreling away at the library. It's already been one month since I arrived, which makes it high time for some reflection. I've been working hard to come up with clever answers to the question of "what my impressions are" mainly because (and a list of so-called impressions follows):

I thought Finns were insecure, with their country branding workshops and whatnot, perennially worried about what other people (read: the Swedes) think of us, but I can tell you, Americans are worse. In all the years I've lived in Berlin, not once has a German person (nor a Berliner—these are two completely distinct groups of people) asked me to tell them what I "think" about their country, or what my "impressions" are. Maybe they know better than to ask. Maybe they really don't care. Americans, on the other hand (including New Yorkers, though a similar non-equivalence exists here), cannot get enough of foreigners' interpretations of their country. I think it's because they genuinely don't know what to think about their country themselves and are waiting for somebody to tell them what the hell is going on here. So, what are my impressions so far?

America is home to some really great things. So far, my top three list is i) cinnamon-flavored chewing gum ii) hazelnut-flavored filter coffee (a mystery but a delightful one) iii) pecan-pumpkin-spice-flavored filter coffee (again, I don't know who came up with this or what they do to make coffee taste like a Hallmark card but I fuckin love it) iv) ditto, snickerdoodles (both the word and the pastry). Oops, that's four.

There is, however, clearly something wrong with a country that has to keep toothpaste under lock and key at the drugstore. I mean, toothpaste is expensive here—$5.99 for a tube, are you kidding me?—but it's still not exactly a luxury item. I literally have to ring a bell at Duane Reed to get an employee to open the toothpaste safe for a tube of Colgate. I wondered about this out loud to a New Yorker, who told me it's because the Duane Reed I went to is located at a "minor transportation hub," in the corner of W 110th and Broadway, which presumably means that this ludicrously wealthy Upper West Side drugstore frequented mostly by Columbia students and faculty is some kind of a crime hotspot. I should probably start carrying a gun.

Americans are loud. I feel like shushing people all the time, which makes me feel like a bad person. If anyone asked me to, I'd be more than happy to provide instructions for adjusting the volume of one's speech to different situations. It'd go something like follows: i) When outdoors, use what you would consider an "indoors voice." ii) When indoors, use what you would consider a "library voice." iii) When in the library, shut the fuck up. Pretty simple, huh?

The American economy would collapse if people stopped living on takeaway meals and coffees. I have never seen people so comfortable dishing out $20-50 per day for food they don't like and coffee they don't need. I mean, I'm not even able to get out of bed without several cups of coffee in the morning but I'd find it really hard to justify a $10 daily budget for iced-mocha-swirly lattes and another $10 for dumplings, when you can just pack a sandwich. The number of students able to afford this kind of lifestyle is just astounding. (This is Columbia, I am aware that the people without trust funds constitute a minority.) I feel positively frugal with my leftover lunches and thermos bottle of coffee (this week it's Donut Shop Roast, which disappointingly does not taste like donuts).

Americans like to think of themselves as libertarians and are famously opposed to state-imposed regulation—but I've never felt as regulated and rule-bound as I have here. It's just that the rules aren't handed down by government officials but by the various enterprises, including private businesses and universities (the latter is included in the former but deserves a honorary mention of its own), who would rather impose elaborate codes of conduct than leave people to their common senses and be sued when something inevitably happens. As one particularly pointless example, I have to complete an online covid-symptom checklist every morning before I'm allowed to enter campus—a "Daily Attestation," it's called—where I solemnly swear that I did not have a cough or a sore throat that morning, either. The only conceivable purpose of this useless exercise is to ensure that if somebody does show up on campus sneezing and wheezing their viral particles around, Columbia can't sued for not having done everything in its power to prevent the virus from spreading. Airing out rooms, though, is strictly out of the question—presumably because it's against some other rule designed to stop students from committing suicide by jumping out a third-floor window. As a person who is physiologically unable to follow pointless rules, I find this kind of self-serving, counter-logical box ticking absolutely infuriating.

It's not all bad, though. Yesterday I went to a Japanese jazz speakeasy around Midtown. We had to stand in line for about an hour, between a group of 17-year-old musical theater majors and 27-year-old jazz enthusiasts. The former were bursting out in spontaneous, perfectly synchronized song every few minutes, the latter were debating scales or keys or some such—I'm telling you, it was like walking into a badly-written scene of Glee. It was worth it though. At one point, during a several-minute-long drum solo, I experienced what can only be described as a moment of pure transcendence. People were all around me were yelling over the music and gesticulating wildly and, for a few seconds, time compressed to something graspable; a thing crackling with energy. An oceanic feeling is, in the words of turn-of-the-century mystic Romain Rolland, “a spontaneous … feeling of the ‘eternal’ (which can very well not be eternal, but simply without perceptible limits, and like oceanic, as it were).” If eternity can be found in a midtown basement, Manhattan can’t be all bad. (Below a video clip I took discreetly when entering.)

P.s. A friend of mine said that I should write an Alexis de Tocqueville -type report about my time in America, which explains the title of this post. For the literary agents and non-fiction editors reading this blog (jk, apparently it's my mum and three of her friends who read these entries—hi!!!), you can email me at sonjaohno at gmail dot com for a book deal.

[sope-and-shine]

You Drive Me Nuts

-> Pairings: Jeongguk x Reader -> Fluff // College!AU  -> Word Count: 2.1k -> Summary: With great powers comes great responsibility. And yes, an EpiPen is a responsibility, Jeon Jeongguk. -> Warnings: mild language // responsible use of an EpiPen for an irresponsible reason.

A/N: I have no clue what the process is through anaphylaxis once it gets to the doctors, so I tried my best. I hope you enjoy! 

*

*

You told him.

You’ve told him on more than one occasion.

You’ve reminded Jeongguk multiple times that it is in no way acceptable for him to eat a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup when he’s allergic to peanuts! He’s 20yrs old, for Christ sake, you shouldn’t have to remind him what he can and cannot eat! Any sane person would think, ‘Oh no, that’ll make my throat close up and I could die’ and turn the candy offer down.

But no.

Not this idiot.

He’s apparently a psychopath!

You were just studying in the cafe waiting for the other boys to join you before you get your food. No harm in that at all. They were always late cutting across campus, so getting some homework out of the way or a quick study session never hurt. Normal day.

Not a problem.

As soon as they all began to make their appearances, you had put away your working materials so you’d be ready to get something to eat. As soon as they all arrived, it was left to Jeongguk to watch your belongings since he was the last to arrive at the table. Nothing new, it was usually between him, Taehyung, and Namjoon to watch the table. Not only that, but he was more than happy to take a seat at the table. You figured he was tired from running across the campus and just wanted to sit. Nothing to worry about.

You should have worried.

You all left him alone for a total of maybe 15 minutes. 15 minutes to get your food so you could enjoy the rest of your day, 15 minutes so he could sit and watch your belongings, 15 minutes for him to be a regular adult, and apparently 15 minutes for him to contemplate asking the table next to yours for the Reese’s and have it open and in one hand with his EpiPen in the other by the time you got back.

“Jeon Jeongguk! You put that Reese’s cup down and wash your hands right now! Are you crazy?!” Your outburst not only catches his attention, but those around you as well. Multiple eyes are on you including his, but his eyes are staring into yours in fear, contemplation, and partial regret. 

Jimin comes up next to you with his own lunch, stopping when he sees the predicament. He sighs, “He cannot be serious.” 

It’s almost as if you can see the gears turning in Jeongguk’s head, contemplating if he should make his next move or not. You can see the longing in his eyes, and a part of you already knows what he’s about to do before he does it. He pops the treat into his mouth in one bite, and the look of pure joy and elation tells you this exact situation could - and will - happen again. He shouldn’t look as pleased as he does slamming a needle into his thigh, but his smile is all you need to see.

“Jimin, call an ambulance!” You order, rushing to your friend - soon to be dead friend - and dropping your lunch on the table next to him. A million thoughts are running through your head as you take the seat next to him, watching the stupid bunny smile appear on his face. Your first immediate reaction is to choke him, but he’s about to do that himself. So, instead, you settle for hitting the back of his head. “Are you insane?! What possessed you to do that, you psychopath?!”

“My mom never let me eat them, so I-” He coughs, beginning to feel the effects of his allergy trying to battle the epinephrine. “-I wanted to try one…”

“She didn’t let you eat them because YOU ARE ALLERGIC!” You rage. You’re almost completely dumbfounded by this man’s absolute stupidity. How he made it to college, you could never understand after this. You grab his face in your hands and squish his cheeks together to look into his mouth at the back of his throat. “Any good, sensible mother-! No. Scratch that. Any good, sensible PERSON wouldn’t let you eat one!”

He fights a smile, his face still trapped between your hands, “Worth it.”

As the other boys get back from getting their food, they all begin to close in on what happened with the youngest member of the squad. Namjoon, ever the responsible adult he is, sighs when he catches sight of the used EpiPen and the crumpled Reese’s wrapper next to it. “Jeongguk, what the fuck?”

“What did you do?!” Jin cries, setting his food on the table to take the other side of your ‘patient’. His mother’s intuition kicks in as he takes over your role of nurse, “Are you stupid or something?”

Yoongi takes a seat at the table next to the discarded trays and starts eating, completely unbothered. Shoving a french fry in his mouth, he turns to the rest of the group that is still unsure as to what they should do in the situation. “Make a note, everyone. As soon as he gets out of the hospital, I’m killing him.”

While the others begin to have a seat or discuss the current dilemma, Jeongguk turns to you with seemingly tired eyes full of mischief, “(Y/n)...I can see the light.” His voice has a slight croak to it, and every breath has a slight wheeze.

“Good. Walk into it.” Is your answer petty? Absolutely. But you can't help but glare at him for the stunt he just pulled, especially when he’s trying to hit you with puppy dog eyes. “Don’t pout at me. You deserve this.”

It only takes about 10 more minutes for the ambulance to arrive on campus to pick up the idiot next to you. Which is good, because his breathing was only getting harder and more erratic as you waited with him even after having him lay down to clear his airways a little more. He tried to be cool the entire time they were adjusting him onto the gurney, cracking jokes and flashing the occasional hand sign at Tae’s phone while he took pictures for his Snapchat, but you could tell he was feeling the consequences of his actions when they administered oxygen to him.

*

*

*

After a short ride to the hospital, an hour and a half of sitting in the waiting room of the ER doing homework, and half an hour waiting for Jeongguk to wake up and finish getting scolded by the doctor’s and nurses for his stupid actions, you’re finally left alone with him again on a small couch by the window of his room. His hair isn’t as nicely kept as it was this morning, his street clothes were replaced with a hospital gown at some point during his visit and placed in the bag next to his bed, and his overall appearance just looks completely exhausted. Even so, he looks a lot better than he did at lunch.  

“You know, I thought that would go a lot better.” He admits with a chuckle, breaking the silence that was left in your room. A shy smile adorns his face as he plays with the piece of equipment on his finger.

You, however, are not amused, “How did you expect it to go any better, Guk? You are severely allergic to peanuts.”

He sighs, “I meant as far as the embarrassment.”

“Oh, you mean a 20 year old man getting scolded by 40 year old doctors and nurses for eating a peanut butter cup because you were never allowed to have them? Did you think you would just magically not be allergic?” You ask, genuinely interested to hear what his excuse was. In your opinion, there was no excuse. What he did was stupid and wreckless, and you have half a mind to beat the crap out of him for the stunt he pulled. Who did he think he was to scare you like that?

“It can happen…” He shrugs. It was more than obvious that he really didn’t think much of his actions, and that annoyed you more than anything.

“Jeongguk.”

He doesn’t move. He just continues staring at the equipment attached to him as if you weren’t in the room. His childish ignorance was hitting your last nerve at this point. You couldn’t stop yourself from standing up and crossing to his bed.

“Look at me.” You demand. You wait for him to raise his head, giving you a clear view of the frown on his face. You ignore how he looks at you in favor of grabbing onto his face. He had to know you were serious, and he wasn’t going to back out of this. “Don’t you ever do something that could literally kill you in minutes ever again. Do you understand me? I’m not playing with you. You scared the shit out of me!”

“I won’t, I promise.” You hear him loud and clear, you watch him nod and smile in affirmation, but you can’t help but feel helpless. You could’ve stopped him if you’d moved faster, then you could’ve beaten the sense into him before he ended up in the hospital. But here he was, almost 3 hours later with an IV and a drip running into him. The anger that’s been festering all day has finally settled within you, and you feel the tears welling up before you can pull yourself back together.

This of course sets Jeongguk into panic when he sees the glistening of your eyes staring into his own. “Hey! Why are you crying?! Our friendship handbook didn’t mention crying!” He couldn’t handle himself crying, let alone another human being crying at him. In an attempt to soothe you, he places his hands over yours as they rest on his cheeks, rubbing small circles into your skin.

You look away from him, hiding your face before the tears can really start to fall, “It’s in the fine print asshole.” 

“Well, why are you crying if I’m okay?” He asks. You refuse to look at him, not wanting to look at him after all the pain he’s caused you thus far, but he wasn’t about to let you cry without knowing what’s really wrong with you. He releases your hands from his and lets them fall while he moves into a different position, getting close enough to you so he can take your face in between his hands like you’d done to him - granted, yours was a lot more harsh than his. He turns your head so he can look at you, waiting until your eyes finally meet his before he smiles, “Hey, you can tell me what’s wrong.”

You can’t help but let the tears fall with the way he looks at you, “You just looked so beaten up and pale, and your breathing just kept getting worse as we waited, and-” You choke back a sob, “-I don’t want to lose you, okay?”

“You’re not going to lose me.” He coos, stroking your cheeks softly with his thumbs. He’d never intended to hurt you this way. He honestly didn’t think that far ahead. He had an idea, he executed a plan he thought would work, and he got to taste a peanut butter cup while living to see another day. It’s only now that he really thinks about what he’s done today. Neither you or the boys have ever seen him like that before, and to someone who’s never experienced it before, it can be really scary. He sees it now that you’re in front of him crying instead of yelling at him. “I swear on my life that I will never do it again.”

‘He wouldn’t do it again?’ You think. Sure he won’t. You scoff, “Easy for you to say. One wrong move and you die before I get my hands on you.” You move to pull his hands off of your face, but he takes your hands in his instead, pulling you to sit on the bed next to him. You’re too surprised to say anything, letting out a small squeak from the sudden movement instead. The two of you just sit and stare at one another before he finally lifts his right hand from yours to hold his pinky towards you, “I promise.”

Staring at the hand with an IV poking out and a heart monitor attached to his pointer finger, you know in the very back of your mind that this will probably happen again whether he intends to or not. But you don’t think you’ve seen him this serious before. At least for now, you can take his pinky in your own and accept his promise to make both of you feel better. 

“You drive me crazy, you know?” You ask, wiping at some of your remaining tears with your free hand.

“Don’t you mean I drive you nuts?” 

[the--sad--hatter]

Phantom pain (2)

FANDOM - MARVEL MCU

PAIRING - Bucky X Reader

WARNINGS - Bad Habits and Rough Sex, Angsty and Dark AF.

DESCRIPTION -  Everybody in the world knew of you, but not who you really were. Some called you a vigilante, some called you a criminal and some called you a hero but all of them called you The Phantom. Only two people knew your real identity and they swore to never tell anyone but when The Avengers need to infiltrate a high-security facility, Bruce Banner deduces that you’re the only one who can pull it off. That decision puts you and Bucky Barnes on a path you can’t turn back from, even if neither of like where it’s leading.

Chapter Two - While You Were Sleeping

You had mere minutes to make this plan work.

Racing invisibly through the halls, you brought up the mental map of the facility map you had studied only hours before, making sure to avoid bumping into anything and giving yourself away. Nobody could see you but if you knocked over something or ran into someone, it would give you away.

Sweat poured off you in buckets, going invisible took up a lot of energy but you could do this if you did it fast. You reached the door you were searching for and phased through it and slipped inside. You paused and strained your ears for any sounds, making sure you were alone in the room. You crept through the room, eyes peeled for the right cabinet.

Your skin was burning and you dropped the invisibility, saving your energy for when you left.

You found what you needed and quickly rifled through the files, silently thanking Hydra for being paranoid enough to keep a paper copy of all their files. You slipped out your phone and took pictures of everything, regardless of what it was. Tony could sift through it.

Names, dates and awful pictures caught your eye and you swallowed thickly, trying not to focus on it. Voices drifted down the hallway and you picked up the pace, changing to video camera and rapidly flicking through all the files. You could freeze frame each page later, and by you, you meant Friday.

Someone jostled the door-handle and you slammed the cabinet closed and slipped your phone under the material of your suit. You let your body deteriorate again and the tendrils of odourless smoke you left behind dissipated as an agent opened the door. They didn’t even flinch as you walked straight past them and through the door.

You ran back through the hallways, holding onto the invisibility and didn’t drop it until you were at least a mile away from the facility and walking up the ramp of the shielded quinjet.

“Twenty-three minutes and seventeen seconds. You owe me a bottle of Macallan select reserve.” Tony crowed victoriously.

You didn’t have the chance to respond before the floor of the quinjet was rushing towards you and everything went dark.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You dragged your eyes open and winced at the bright lights that assaulted your poor innocent eyeballs. Your mouth felt like it had been stuffed with cotton wool balls and your skin felt like you’d fallen asleep on the beach at high noon.

“Oh my god.”

You turned your head to the side to see who had spoken and saw Tony stood at the door watching you in shock and awe, dropping the beaker he was holding and ignoring it as it smashed against the ground.

“You’re awake.” He said, slowly.

“Oh, is that why my eyes are open?” You croaked.

He stumbled over to your bedside and looked down at you reverently.

“You’re really awake. I thought... we thought...”

“Why are you being so weird?” You said, coughing to clear the scratchy feeling in your throat.

“Princess, you were in a coma.”

“What?” You demanded, well wheezed pathetically.

“You’ve been asleep for three years.”

You tried to sit up in a panic, when Tony started chuckling loudly at the look on your face.

“Oh you fucker.” You rasped.

“Like I’d keep you in my lab for three years, I’d pull the plug as soon as I could.” He joked, ducking to avoid the pillow you threw at him.

“I hate you.” You grumbled.

“Nobody hates me, I’m adored the world over. You were only out for three hours by the way.” He said, lapsing back into laughter as you pouted at the pillow you’d thrown and made grabby hands until he handed it back.

“Everybody hates you, you just pretend otherwise so you don’t shatter that impressively huge ego.”You retorted.

“You think I’m impressive?”

“Fuck off Snark.”

“Fine, I won’t help you remove your IV drip, you can HEY STOP THAT!” He shrieked at you in the middle of sentence as you pulled the IV out.

“What did she do?” Bruce’s worried voice preceded him as he hurried through the door.

“You’re the worst patient ever.” Tony reprimanded you.

You started flatly at Bruce and motioned between yourself and Tony.

“You’re right, he’s a worse patient.” Bruce agreed, checking your vitals.

“Rude. I’m leaving now, you two are ganging up on me again.” Tony muttered as he stalked away, though you noticed him quickly check your vitals himself before he did.

“What’s up doc?” You asked Bruce as the Iron Man flounced away in a huff.

“Same as usual. You over exerted yourself. You were dehydrated so we put you on an IV but since that clearly didn’t last, go drink some water. You’re nearly back to your baseline health.” Bruce said, shaking his head at you fondly.

“Did Snark get the pictures off my phone?” You asked as you sat up and stretched, Bruce hovering over you.

“He did. Friday is combing though them and converting them into computer files for the team.” He said, patting you on the knee proudly.

“I owe you one Friday.” You said.

“You owe me several dozen.” She pointed out.

“Petty doesn’t suit you darlin.” You retorted.

“It looks like you got everything we needed though, as well as a little extra. It would have been a perfect mission if you didn’t pass out again.” Bruce said snarkily.

“Oh good, I can go home before anyone wonders where I was. I’m running out of excuses, I don’t know if I can pull off another ‘rehab’ cover.” You said in relief.

“You might want to shower and change first.” He said, motioning to the Phantom suit you were still wearing.

“Good idea... Friday wanna let me into Tony’s room? I bet he has the fanciest shower.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Bucky had spent far too many hours researching you, flipping through article after article about your drunken adventures and ‘sexcapades’. You were a party animal according to the tabloids, always hitting up clubs and throwing extravagant parties. There was also mention of a few stints in rehab and numerous different flings mentioned.

Surprisingly there were very few photo's of these ‘incidents’. Most likely you were buying off the tabloids to keep the embarrassing pictures out of the articles. Over all, he wasn’t impressed by you at all.

According to Bruce, you were basically a prodigy and if Banner thought that, it must be true. The fact that you were so reckless and stupid when you were so gifted annoyed Bucky. You were brat, and you needed someone in your life to set you on the straight and narrow. But that wasn’t his problem.

His eyes narrowed as you waltzed into the common room, your hair messily piled on your head and your feet bare.

“Making yourself at home?” He asked you.

You glanced up at him nonchalantly.

“Yup.” You said, popping the p at the end as you opened the fridge and perused it’s contents, pulling out a bottle of water and guzzling it.  

“Aren’t you supposed to be busy hacking Hydra?” He asked you.

“Been there, done that.” You said smugly.

“You’re done?” He blinked owlishly at you.

“You did hear the bit where I’m the best in the world, right? Oh my bad, age has probably affected your hearing.” You said, smirking cheekily at him.

He stood up and stalked over to you where you were leaning against the counter-top and pressing the cold water bottle to your neck.

A small drop of condensation dribbled off the glass bottle and into the hollow of your throat and his eyes tracked it as it rolled down your chest and disappeared into the valley between your breasts.

“You’re insolent and egotistical Devchushka. That attitude might amuse Stark but it doesn’t amuse me.” He growled at you.

“Oh.” You said, looking chastised and biting your lip.

“Well, It’s a mighty good thing that I’m not trying to amuse you then Starikashka.” You teased in a seductive purr, winking at him and strutting away.

Yes, somebody definitely needed to put you in your place.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“West? Are you here?” You called as you unlocked the front door to your apartment.

Silence was the only answer and you breathed a sigh of relief as you shrugged your coat off and flung it over the back of an armchair.

There was a small chirping meow at your feet and you smiled.

“Hello Frank, did West feed you?” You asked the bulky cat.

Frankenstein, or Frank as you called him wasn’t technically your cat. He was just some ass-hole stray cat who followed you home one night and refused to leave until you fed him. He would disappear for days, sometimes weeks and reappear at will.

You padded over to the kitchen with the infernal cat twisting around your ankles. You noted the dry cleaning hung over a kitchen stool and the foil covered lasagne dish on the counter. Apparently West had stopped by earlier and left food for you.

He was your fathers butler/assistant and had practically raised you so when you moved out of the family home, he didn’t take it well. He came by nearly every day and continued to look after you.

Your phone vibrated in your coat and you skidded across the floor back over to it to read the text.

Snark: You still owe me that bottle of Scotch, just because you swooned into my arms it doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten that you took more than 20 minutes to get the files. Also, we need another favour.

Snark: If you do this one, I’ll give your suit an upgrade. Be here tomorrow at lunch.

Snark: Bring my scotch.

You scoffed. You knew helping them out would backfire, this was why you had avoided them for so long. You couldn’t afford to have anyone know you were The Phantom and The Avengers were likely to figure it out sooner rather than later.

Still... If they were asking for your help, it was probably important.

“What do you think Frank? Self preservation or desire to do good, which one’s gonna win out?” You asked.

A tail swish was his helpful response.

“Well you’re a cat, of course you’d advocate self preservation.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Hey Bucknasty, what do you think?” Sam called.

Bucky looked up and frowned, trying to figure out what Sam was talking about.

“Sam wants to ask Princess out, I think he should go for it.” Tony said gleefully.

“Why?” Sam asked suspiciously.

“She’ll eat you alive and leave your mangled corpse on the lawn for your feathered brethren to pick at.” Natasha explained with a smirk.

“How do you know that?” Bucky asked.

“She’s a maneater and a womanizer, think a pre Pepper Tony Stark with boobs...” Sam said, looking excited.

“She’s an infamous heartbreaker.” Natasha clarified.

Tony and Bruce exchanged a subtle look of amusement. Once upon a time, they’d believed those rumours as well. Now they knew you, they knew how untrue it all was. But your reputation was carefully cultivated so they didn’t correct anyone.

“I’m sure she’s not like that really, she seems sweet.” Steve interjected, chivalry demanding he defend your honour even though he didn’t know you.

“Well, one way to find out.” Sam announced.

“Tomorrow will be fun.” Tony said.

Bucky resisted the urge to storm away. For some reason he hated the idea of Sam asking you out. Maybe because despite their bickering he actually considered The Falcon a friend and didn't want to see you get your claws into him.

For someone he’d only met twice, you’d gotten under his skin. He was determined to take you down a few pegs and in the process, keep you from dating his friend.

The fact that he couldn’t stop the image of a droplet of water rolling between your breasts from replaying over and over in his mind didn’t factor into it at all.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

So, two questions. One) Do you like this story? It's not as good as Name Calling yet. Two) Who are your fave interactions with so far?

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