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#ive been a shitty friend to my besties recently bc i keep flaking on them & am broke all the time & am generally just a disorganized mess
chiritori
ยท
2 years
Text
im so scared im not going to pass my classes this semester
#its basically gonna have to be 24/7 homework lockdown for the next month if i want to do even okay in all of them
#im really really sad because i had to cancel on my halloween plans so i can finish this overdue essay i need done by tonight
#everyones out in costumes and having fun with their friends and im inside alone having a breakdown over school
#this sucks ass
#im glad i was able to go to a party this weekend and dress up but tbh the party was mid af
#i also flaked on a house party i was supposed to go to last night because i was sick and my bfs were over
#i feel like the different aspects of my life are getting so unbalanced and its scaring me and making me depressed
#how am i supposed to balance 4 demanding classes & a fulfilling social life & 2 relationships all at the same time
#not to mention sooner rather than later im going to have to worry about jobs and internships too
#ive been a shitty friend to my besties recently bc i keep flaking on them & am broke all the time & am generally just a disorganized mess
#i feel like they think im putting them on the backburner for my relationships. and i honestly think thats kind of true
#i just need to find any kind of balance to my life because everything is out of whack and my life is falling apart
#my executive functioning is so poor and im sick & in pain all the time and ive been in a depressive episode for the past month and a half
#i have no idea how to exist as a functional adult in a body that is falling apart both physically and mentally
#i cannot take even more time off of school & i want to graduate as soon as possible but after that im all on my own and then what
#it all just leads to a dead end. theres nothing im working towards anymore and i have no motivation to do anything and im so stressed out
#i just dont know how to fix this. i dont know how to dig myself out of this hole
#vent
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