#ive also STILL not gained that weight back btw

[shadow-bender]

.

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

re: your tags here

Ive always felt like Too Many People was more justified then How Do You Sleep, because lyrically Paul wasn’t really making a statement on Johns entire being and personality - he’s (IMO) making valid claims about the actions of John and Yoko, and the way in which he was treated by John etc. (eg. “Too many people pulled and pushed around”). Its always felt to me as though with TMP, Paul was getting perspective on his life and on his relationships. Its still a bitchy breakup song, but like, theres a point to it, if you get what I mean? It isn't a solely just an unfair attack against John, because theres substance to it.

Whereas in HDYS, Johns claims seem for the most part to be insincere, unproductive, needless (eg. “The only thing you done was yesterday” - like John, bby, we *know* thats not true), and overall just spiteful and aggressive, I guess. I feel like theres arguably some valid truths to Johns resentment in the song, but he’s so enamoured by this bitter feeling towards Paul that he fails to bring out any genuinely valuable claims against him. All in all, it doesn’t feel to me as theres any kind of benefit or perspective gained from writing the song, he’s only adding fuel to the fire.

(Btw if youre sick of hearing about HDYS discourse for the evening then no pressure to answer this - just thought id throw my 2 cents into the Tumblr void :) )

This is an interesting point. I think what makes HDYS kind of fail for me as a song that could potentially help me sympathize with John is how deeply unpersonal it feels to me.

John deliberately chose to attack Paul's artistry and public persona, knowing this would be something that would hurt Paul more than other points of attack. In doing that though, he sacrificed the relatability of the song by not touching on the personal wrongs Paul had done (or he perceived Paul to have done). It's a diss track but he doesn't even seem to care about Paul or whatever he's done to deserve this. (This is what I meant a few days ago when I said George wrote better anti-Paul tracks. Because George wasn't afraid to say what he truly felt and express his real sadness or frustration at having lost a friend.)

That being said, I think there are probably some very mean-spirited lines in TMP meant for John, like the one about losing weight, which could very well have been a vague reference to John's disordered eating habits/weight loss from drug abuse. Also Paul seemingly rubbing Linda in John's face to spite him at the end of the song.

All that is mean and petty, but first of all, it wasn't something the GP picked up on and was thus only meant for John to understand and second of all feels personal. The song is petty but "And that was your first mistake / You took your lucky break and broke it in two" just sounds far more like he was once invested in his relationship with John than HDYS sounds, to me personally at least.

IDK if HDYS was warranted. I think John felt like Paul had hit him where it hurts and so he hit Paul back where it hurt Paul. It's all petty and stupid and their fight seems to be an endless cycle of YOU STARTED IT.

[g1mmetheb0nes]

Summary bc this got way too long but feel free to read the rest for more detail: I love and appreciate u guys sm! But rn I feel I need to leave tumblr in order to improve my health! I will always remember and miss u, goodbye and stay safe! <3

So I havent been regularly active on here in like 4 or so months but Ive still been checking in every few weeks. And i know that a lot of ppl aren’t even on my blog anymore thanks to me getting td, them getting td, or yk me being completely missing for weeks on end lol, but to anyone still following me I wanted to explain whats going on:

First off, I love everyone I’ve interacted with on here sm! This community is so funny, supportive, and loving and has genuinely changed my life in so many ways. I just wanted to say that I rlly appreciate u guys and always will, but ive decided to leave tumblr.

Ive noticed that being on here always pulls me in further to my disorder (Ex. feeling competitive, thinking about my ed even more often, gaining new fear foods, generally feeling more encouraged to keep going, etc). I think that even thoigh im sacrificing a support system and am going to miss u guys sm, leaving this community will be positive and allow me to focus more on being genuinely healthy rather than just losing weight and getting sicker. I’m not rlly trying to recover rn bc this is still a coping mechanism for me but hopefully I can at least be a little closer to what recovery is like lol.

So this post feels a little unnecessary and like I think im more important than i am but idc I just wanted to let u guys know that im okay and didn’t pass away or anything like that, bc I tend to think the worst when a moot goes inactive lol. Sorry this got so long btw. Also I’m not deleting my actual acc, just in case I find that I rlly need/want to come back. Which yk is pretty possible. ����‍♀️ Okay I think thats pretty much everything I wanted to say… sooo goodbye! I’ll miss u and wish u all the best! <333

[chocolatte-and-despair]

Hallo hallo! ^^

i was curious about the match up thingys and I kinda wanna ask for one as well! if it's still open and if that's ok with you? (A yandere Dsmp/ resident evil village match up and I'm ok with romantic or platonic btw!)

(I think I already sent this before but it's probably gone and I hope I'm not being a bother and if you already seen this before and decided not to do mine im so so sorry-!)

If it is well-

A description of what I look like!

(I apologise if it gets way to long!)

I'm 4'11/5'

(it's been a long time since I last checked my height ^^;;)

I have kinda long brown hair

it's sometimes straight and there are times that my hair is all poofed up like a cloud

I have light brown skin/tan-ish and I have dark brown eyes

I am very ticklish and my weak spot is the back of my neck cuz it's the part where I'm very very ticklish and as soon as someone grabs me by the back of my neck it's game over for me-

Oh! And I'm pansexual!

I've been told I'm oblivious af and I can be an air head sometimes

And I tend to overshare stuff and I also tend to kinda over give? Like i can't say no when someone asks me stuff and I will spend money on friends to show how much I really appreciate and care for them and I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic

I get kinda angry easily which is something I need to fix more but it's not as bad as when i was younger and I'm kinda insecure about my weight and I'm touch starved af and I'm a sensitive cry baby lol-

I enjoy any kind of music but lately ive been listening to random heavy metal and ballet music for some reason ^^;;

I love reading mythology and fairy tales and I believe in supernatural stuff, I'm addicted to coffee, I wanna travel the world

and I May have used to get into fist fights at school when i was younger lol- 👀

Im also interested in the Cottagecore aesthetic and in goth/alt clothing style and I've always wanted to dress up in gothic lolita/pastel lolita clothes-!

Also if you do decide to do mine thank you so much! And srry if this got wayyyyyw too long!(I hope I can support you and your work in anyway but sadly I am poor af 😔✌🏼) (also again i apologize if I already sent this twice cuz i don't exactly remember when i sent the first one ^^;;)

After thinking for a little bit, I decided to give you ... Ranboo (AGED UP)! I do believe that you two hopeless romantics would get along more than anyone else I could think of!

A . How would they show their love and affection? How intense would it get? - Ranboo is very shy when it comes showing love and affection, but when he does, he tries to be as cheesy as possible, preparing things like they are right out of a movie.

B. What type of future are they planning with their lover? - Ranboo wants to show you all around the dream smp one day and then settle down where you like the most. Whatever you want, he will make sure that it will happen.

C. What is the scariest moment with them? - Ranboo is so obedient and takes everything you say literally, that he can be even a danger to himself. If you will tell him to disappear, he will. If you tell him to never talk again, he will never talk again. So be careful with your words!

D. How do they usually act with their lover? - Ranboo is very shy but he tries to show affection to you by giving you gifts and by making your life as easy as possible.

E. How would they court their lover before? - Ranboo would probably start following you around and doing stuff for you to try and gain your approval.

F. What's their favorite memory/thing in the relationship? - Ranboo has a very hard time remembering anything of this relationship, but he knows that he loves you a lot and would never do anything to hurt you.

[whumpbby]

Unexpected side-effects huh? Who gets the first taste??? Maybe it’s Dickie, who had a rough day at school. Maybe some of the kids are mean to him, saying nasty things about his first parents (would he remember what happened? Or did it happen when he was real little?). Maybe Dickie asks Jay to be his new mama so nobody would say he didn’t have one... (((I’m living for this au btw. The only thing getting me through quarantine rn😭)))

Hehe, unexpected side-effects being his body deciding to maybe try and regulate his hormonal economy these days and start to pump along? 

Except, his hormonal economy was always rubbish so trying to regulate it lead to a new chaos. And it took a while for Jason to even notice - he was too happy with his new suppressants and not having to expect a random heat whenever going got though (and also with the way the going was good for a while) that he ignored the small ways in which hos body tried to let him know things were changing. A bit of a weight gain could be chalked up to less hectic lifestyle and better diet. Exercise could help him with that. The moments when he was a bit more emotional than he was used to? He finally had a sort-of stable living conditions, he had to simmer down probably. The sudden sensitivity to scents of others? He wasn’t used to living with other people, he was always alone, he will get used to it. 

And then came the night when Jason figured Bruce out, the morning when he confronted Bruc--- the Batman... and then ran from the room like a coward, dark fear tight in is stomach, mind racing with thoughts of escape - there wasn’t any defined fear, Jason didn’t expect Bruce to do anything bad to him, he knew that Wayne was a good man! He knew! Alas, his anxiety levels were steadily rising. Once he reached his room he couldn’t find a place for himself, he needed to dress - he couldn’t go anywhere in his pajamas! - but he couldn’t even start. It was terrible, he felt like... 

And then he heard a knock on the door, a puppy voice calling “Jay?” over a calm, but concerned man saying “Jason, can we come in? We need to talk.” 

...and he was going to throw up! 

Bruce barged in, because of course he did - Jason’s scent was all over the place and the noises form the en-suite were concerning enough to send Timmy off to get Alfred and get into the room. 

He found Jason bent over the toilet, puking his guts out, shaking and feverish, mumbling about feeling bad and not knowing where his socks were. Clearly, something was not right and Bruce prayed that it wasn’t his doing.

Jay ended up back in the clinic, with a couple IVs in his arm and a doctor revising his prescription, because no one expected that to happen! This time it wasn’t a stress heat (Bruce was grateful), but Jay’s hormones swinging wildly out of scale... he needed to recover and they needed to find him new meds, could Bruce make sure Jay will stay in his bed at the Manor and have peace and quiet for a while? 

Sure, Bruce could do that. They didn’t get their talk, but Jay was still woozy and out of it, and B didn’t want to stress him too much, so he backed off until then.

Of course, the media caught on and wild speculation blossomed over gasp, shock, did Brucie Wayne knock up the nanny after all???? :O Were they aborting? Pregnancy problems?! A rather distasteful business. 

Bruce was happy to tune it all out for now, happy that Jason was recovering and that his boys took to caring for him in their own small ways - Dick by bringing Jay snacks and making sure he was drinking water, Tim by reading him some of the pup’s favourite books, Damian by piling up his stuffed animals on Jay’s bed to make him feel better. It was adorable and the omega seemed to be soaking up the attention. 

And then one day Bruce walked into Jay’s room with a breakfast and found Damian cuddled up to the sleeping omega’s chest, mouth around his nipple, suckling contently. A drop of milk escaped the pup’s mouth and rolled down his chin and Bruce almost chocked. 

[fatphrodite]

so... i have a dilemma. i'm already pretty big (5'6 and about 225 lbs with a squishy tummy) and there's a part of me that's kinda intrigued by the thought of gaining more, but i'm worried about the health risks of gaining (esp since i have PCOS so it would be esp difficult for me to go back if i decided to) as well as the fact that clothes shopping would get even more difficult for me. do you have any thoughts to offer on this? love your blog btw and think you're gorgeous!!

I’ve talked about this before but I will reiterate of course! Disclaimer, im obviously not a professional and the information I know is from what ive read and what ive personally experienced, i’m always learning and so is modern science!

The reality is, striving to be obese/overweight is not going to be a “healthy” choice. There really is no “healthy” diet you could sustain while gaining weight (if you are already overweight or obese). There are “healthier” alternatives to chugging high fructose corn syrup, but even then, the changes youre making to your body to gain weight are essentially the same but at different rates. And nutrition is primarily what is going to cause the “health risks” associated with obesity. 

Everyone is different and my experience is that I have been obese most of my life, ive been near 300 pounds in my life, and I’ve never had a health scare or been told by a doctor I need to lose weight. Ive had blood tests that showed I wasn’t even pre-diabetic. The only thing that impacted me from weight was back pain and that was also due to muscle atrophy. The fix to that is strength exercise to keep your muscles prepared for weight gain. I’m also still fairly young though, and compounded “unhealthy” nutrition (lots of simple sugars, lots of trans fat, basically the standard American diet lol) for longer periods of time will lead to more health risks (plaque build up/heart disease, type 2 diabetes)

If youre concerned about health then you should see a doctor regularly and do your own personal research about cholesterol (theres a lot of myths about it btw). Everything is reversible, including PCOS itself, but it would in fact be extremely difficult and slow going. Do whats best for you. Do what is comfortable to you!

Luckily in 2019 plus size shopping has gotten better! Although….still ridiculously expensive for certain things (like proper bras and business clothes). You could always be like me and just live in giant tshirts and leggings which are hard to grow out of :D

[azenta]

How do I stop a Fi-Si loop?

After almost a month, I finally had the energy and could take some time to answer you! So, sorry for the delay, I am occupied due to work and due to personal reasons too.

So… Short answer: Use Ne.

Long Answer: Okay, honestly, my Ni has way more to say than that. Simplicity is not my strength lmao. And if you came to me for an answer, I expect you know how much I suck to make short, simple and condensed answer.

So, it is a tad bit more complicated than just “learn to use Ne”. An INFP looping means many more things than simply the bad use to non existent use of their Ne. It usually mean an unhealthy Fi, overused Si and a very unconscious and unpredictable inferior Te (so greater risk for griping).

In other words, other than typology ones, it means the person is probably trying to avoid “something” or/and have benefits in maintaining themselves into their delusional world. Therefore, the enneatype and IVs can be very helpful in assessing why there is a loop. However, I cannot elaborate on each possibilities, it is not what I believe will be the most useful anyway nor my forte to begin with (*inf Se*).

In any case, it doesn’t change it must be Ne who must be (re) used to get out of the loop. But it is important to understand why you resist Ne, why do you avoid using this function, as depending on the why depends how to stop resisting it.

Like I said, there are “benefices” gained from looping, or else, nobody would loop. By benefices I mean, it advantages people to keep themselves in that dynamic, thus why it can be so hard to get out of one or to be receptive to other people’s advices. So, it is extremely important to be Brutally Honest with yourself, to admit what you believe even if you feel or think it is wrong.

Example: I have found that unconsciously I believed I absolutely needed to be perfect, but consciously I knew it was impossible and so “wrong” to think that or to ask myself this perfection. However, I still profoundly believed I had to be perfect. My rational mind was telling me it made no sense, but I still continued believing that perfection was needed. But why? Why I’d keep believing something so goddamn ridiculous if “it makes no sense”? Because aiming for perfection made me be a Good Person TM (= benefices). And on top of that, if I continually aimed to be perfect, then nobody got the right to criticize me and tell me I don’t make the effort as I continually strive for perfection ( = avoiding critic and so avoiding to be confronted to imperfection). If I always strive for perfection, then I am good.

In relation to my Ni-Ti loop dynamic, what happens is any commentary or people feedback become a “critic” in my ears (Fe resistance). So, any external feedback (Fe and eventually Se) become a threat to my sense of being a good person striving for perfection. Ni has built a vision where I need perfection and so continually aim for that and Ti rationalizes my ideal and my doings into fitting my vision, despite the fact that looping mean I am stuck in my head and in a stagnant and rigid state rather than actually getting better. Truth will be that if I don’t listen to other’s perspectives (Fe), I have no objective standards to judge myself on and see what I really need to ameliorate. But listening to Fe means admitting I am not perfect, which I fear and avoid, thus the loop.

So, here comes the “Ok, but now wtf do you do to stop that?”.

Yes, we need to listen to the auxiliary to get better, but it is unrealistic to confront ourselves right on to the auxiliary since somewhere in our mind we hold some beliefs, some truths that are totally against what the auxiliary has to bring,which is also True. So here comes the deal… This deal is to find the middle point with what the Auxiliary has to offer and the truths you hold within yourself. I’ll take my case as an example again to illustrate: I aim perfection, Fe wants to bring improvement through an objective judgement. Both truths have the same goal => betterment to be the best I can be (aka To Be Good). It is impossible to be perfect, but it is possible to improve as a person. Therefore I needed to learn to compromise my standard for perfection and transform it with the standard to be “better”, the latter allowing me to be imperfect, accepting of my actual self and therefore to other’s feedbacks => Fe. In other words, I changed my conception of “perfection”. Perfection before was: no mistakes, always optimal despite never having done or seen what I am about to try. Perfection now is: doing your best, even if your best sucks, and then simply see (meaning it includes Se too, woot!) how to actually get better if it matters to me (and Ti!).

Now, related to INFPs; it is the same principle.You need first to establish what makes you stuck in the loop (inner beliefs, fears) and then see what Ne brings to the table and that is (too) confronting to you, or that you resist due to that inner belief.

If you are lost to what Ne pushes to do, I have a suggestion of what can make you integrate Ne progressively.

An INFP looping often fears the inconsistency in the external world and the possibility they will get lost in all those new potentials. Therefore, Fi engulfs itself with Si into a never ending self-confirming loop of self-righteousness, and keep shoving others away if they have the bad luck to think a tad bit differently than what the INFP value in order to keep safe what the INFP deemed “right” by known “facts” (Fi-Si, unconscious Te). Ironically, Ne has for goal to manifest their Fi in many ways rather than make it inconsistent like unbalanced Fi fears.

There come the importance to go step by step, and this means to follow the Fi-Si train of thoughts in the beginning despite it being wrong or very stupid. It involves either showing to this INFP or to yourself if your are an INFP, some novelty, but that still align with the comfort of the loop. In other words, it is to introduce Ne slowly in a way that is not seen as too uncomfortable at first and then progress slowly into more divergent ways that become challenging to Fi and Si, but not too abruptly to avoid making those to shut themselves off again.

So, more concretely, it is as simple as introducing one new and very simple thing, like listening to new musics, but still in their favorite Fi-Si genre, in their routine, but that still maintain the routine. And then evolving this into breaking the routine some now and then like going for a walk some days without planning (/anticipating) anything, or doing it despite the anticipation, starting off a new project even if it is not meant to be finished, brainstorming on stories, new musics, meanings of a favorite movie, until it becomes listening to new genres or new movies, reading new books and new genre of books, new interests… Also, making out with friends can greatly help I believe as it is the best way to be confronted with something external, new, different and that ask to be thought in many new perspectives in other to bring fluidity in the relations. So, it will ask Ne to jump in and perceive as many new potentials and create as many new project, ideas, possibilities, etc. it can. And this will ask to reinvent Fi.

It is tricky to do and ask, like I said, great honesty with yourself. It is not easy to do, and it asks time to get out of a loop, especially a very persistent one or if your are in unhealthier stage. So, I’d advise to be very patient with yourself and comprehensive. Go one step at a time. I personally can’t elaborate further my example as depending on the fears and beliefs depends how’s the best to bring back Ne in the equation. If you wish to talk about it, I will gladly take the time to listen to you. Know for a fact that I am pretty occupied and may answer with delays, like with this ask :’) I am still sorry about it.

I also invite any INFP that have dealt with loops to weight in too, it could be of great help.

So, if anybody has any other question or need clarifications, just ask :) Thank you for your question btw.

[lia-nikiforov]

Spring 2018 Anime Watchlist

THERE IS TOO MUCH ANIME THIS SEASON I HAD TO BINGE 37 EPISODES IN THREE DAYS TO CATCH UP

Dropped

Mahou Shoujo Site: Although I originally intended to irony watch this one, expecting something like MahoIku or King’s Game, its sadistic reveling in the main character’s suffering was impossible to stomach. I felt physically ill at the end of it. I’m not, in principle, opposed to gory stuff, y’all know I sat through the whole stupidity that was King’s Game, but MahoSite doesn’t even reach the level of ridiculous over the topness to make it funny, it’s just a cascade of misery porn with not a single moment of levity or triumph for the heroine. I think I was done the moment that gratuitous “if you punch my stomach my period won’t come” line, because apparently some dudes get off on the idea of a woman being so brutalized she stops menstruating??????

Kakuriyo Yadomeshi: I was willing to give this one the three-episode trial after the first episode in spite of the godawful main love interest and the fact that the grandfather sold the MC into literal slavery wtf, because the main girl seems proactive and independent buuuuuuut fuck I hated episode 2. Not only does she seem to quickly forgive her grandfather for SELLING HER OFF, the men around her keep speaking over her and making decisions for her and she turns out to be just independent enough to not be a complete doormat, but not enough to appear defiant and I hate it. Thanks but no thanks, I ain’t here to see a romantization of being literally sold into an arranged marriage.

YOU THINK?!

Cutie Honey Universe: Before this, I’d had zero interaction with any other iteration of Cutie Honey, so I wasn’t sure of what to expect beyond knowing this was from the creator of Devilman. Certainly blatant homophobic jokes and jokes about physical abuse wasn’t in my list of thigs I expected to see, yet here we are. I ain’t here for “hyuk hyuk look at these fat/butch/ugly lesbians, aren’t they ridiculous” jokes either.

Butlers x Battlers: I completely forgot I watched this one. I don’t remember anything about it except being confused

GeGeGe no Kitaro: This one didn’t do anything wrong, but I was never gonna watch it. I just checked out episode 1 because I heard it made a dig at Logan Paul. I wish they’d gone all the way through and killed that character, but I guess you can’t have it all. It was actually a pretty decent episode, and in a weaker season I’d probably keep watching it, but there’s just too much stuff coming out. And I have watched previous Kitaro anime and it’s sometimes too meanspirited for me.

Uma Musume: I didn’t expect much from this show and was pleasantly surprised by the double-length first episode. Special Week was a nice, fun protagonist to root for and although the world-building was weird as heck, it was fun and positive. So I’m not exactly sure of what happened with episode 2/3 that it left me feeling completely dry. The pacing was super rushed, the characters all felt horribly flat, and the races weren’t super exciting because rather than any strategy or strong emotional realization, Special Week just has to start running even faster and faster in the final leg. It was also kind of implied she had gained weight? But then never brought up? And it’s not made very clear why she lost in the end? Was she supposed to learn humility and not getting too complacent? Seems too early for her to learn that when she’s supposed to be an underdog. I don’t know, it didn’t really work for me and I don’t feel like I care to watch more of it.

Because this post is long af and has a lot of gifs some folks were having trouble loading it on mobile, so you’ll have to read under the cut to know which are the shows I’m actually watching oops

Chopping Block: 

There is too much anime and I’m near the end of the semester so I’m gonna have to cut at least one -preferably two- of these shows

Sword Art Online Alternative: This was another one I intended to hatewatch? But rather than offensive or idiotic it’s so far been pretty boring. Episode one was a slog. The first half of episode two was a horrendous spectacle of hating your own body. The only think I liked was the friendship between LLENN and Pito (btw Pito meand ‘dick’ in Spanish and every time she says “call me Pito” I die). Then episode 3 was more boring exposition. FPS games are the least interesting I could think of, and I’ve never been into Let’s Play, so this show is hitting all the right notes to make me bored out of my mind. I also don’t appreciate the big dude not telling Llenn the plan and just kind of being condescending to her. If next episode is just 20 more minutes of the dude explaining things to Llenn, I’m out. (Also, Pito is 100% Elsa Kanzaki)

Legend of the Galactic Heroes: Not feeling this reboot at all. It’s all very dry and just dudes expositioning strategy at each other. Also there are 30 characters in the Ending and only 2 of them are women???? I’ll give it one more episode, but tbh I’ve had problems even paying attention to 2 and 3, it just doesn’t grab me.

Libra of Nil Admirari: Although I like the heroine and she might be one of the strongest reverse harem heroines I’ve seen, the plot itself is very... eh. The guys are also very uninteresting so far. There’s also the fact that Tsumugi claims to have no interest in men or love, but this being a reverse harem with a bevy of men starved for her attention makes me worry this’ll end with her being “fixed” by an actual nice guy who is worthy of her or something. But the OP is very cute!

Hatewatch

Darling in the Franxx: Boy oh boy, the otaku have been creaming their pants and tearing their clothes off for the last three weeks, but “Don’t call it Fucking, It’s Making Love” in the Franxx’s greatest achievement in my eyes is going for idiotically offensive to just bland and clichéd. A recent AMA on reddit with the producer seems to imply that none of the themes of sex, gender and heterosexism that have been at the core of the show were even properly thought out, nor were their implications even remotely considered. I don’t know if the show’s heterosexism would be worse if it was active propaganda rather than what it seems to be: a bunch of ideas the producers thought would be “cool” and “titillating” with no particular meaning to them. Also we’re 15 episodes in and all we’ve achieved is Palurdo has finally tamed his beast waifu who is Not Like Other Girls. Oh, and I guess the monsters actually had humans in there, what a shocker, never seen that before, never expected such a clever twizzzzzzzz....

Mid Priority

Tokyo Ghoul: Re : I thought I was done with Tokyo Ghoul after trying to read the manga and being bored shitless by all the unnecessary exposition, but this one, while not quite excellent, managed to pique my interest. The conceit of Kaneki losing his memories and joining the Doves and helping in exterminating ghouls I’m super not interested in, but his encounter with Nishio has made me curious enough about what has happened with the rest of the characters to keep watching for now.

Rokuhodou Biyori: The iyashikei show of the season I guess. The guys’ personalities are a little bland, so I might bump it down to the chopping block, but it’s only been two episodes, so I want to give it a fair chance

Persona 5: My history with Persona has never been good. Episode 1 of P4 made me sleep, and I watched the first P3 movie THREE TIMES and never managed to parse wtf it was about. This show shares some of the same problems in making me struggle to pay attention, but at least so far the plot seems interesting, the visuals are creative and striking, and I really like the main character’s design. I’m also more inclined to keep watching because Sayokan directed the OP for the videogame.

Hisone to Masotan: There’s a cynical part of me that watches this show and feels like I’m watching a commercial for the JSDF. Yvan eht nioJ, come join us, we have cool dragons!!! I also don’t love the fact that the dragon turns into a plane :/ BUT the characters have a lot of heart, the dynamics so far between Hisone and Masotan and Hisone and Kanzaki have been very touching. A part of me though, wishes Hisone had stuck with Otofu because it’s such a cute name and she sounded really funny yelling “OTOFU!!!”

Safe Sequels

Although some of these sequels would go in higher categories, I was unsure about how to rank them -especially the 2-cour ones- compared to some of my top premieres of the season, so I’m just putting them all together because there are A LOT of sequels.

Yowapeda Glory Line: FINALLY SOMETHING POSITIVE HAPPENED FOR SOHOKU. I was starting to feel exhausted with all the gloominess, especially for seeing Teshima punished, HE DESERVES EVERY GOOD THING. Now we can get back on track and hopefully have a fun race without Teshima brooding all the way through the episode. ALSO THANK YOU FOR THE EXCELLENT TESHIAO CONTENT

Nanatsu no Taizai: FINALLY ESCANOR SHOWED UP. It’s felt like the first half of the show dragged a lot compared to the manga, so I’m happy we’ve reached one of the coolest parts. Though if memory serves, the rest of the season will be spent floundering around, but damn, the Escanor vs Galand battle is very satisfying to watch.

Lupin III Part V: So this time around they’ve added the social media factor into Lupin’s adventures, and so far the result has been quite interesting. I don’t have a lot to say, the artstyle looks closer to classic versions of the franchise and has lost some of the edge from part IV, but the comedy and Lupin’s plans are still creative and fun to watch, even adding a unique spin to the social media component, so I’m excited to see where they take this. But we need more Fujiko yesterday pls

Binan Koukou Chikyuu Boueibu Happy Kiss: A soft reboot of this magical girl parody franchise, with frillier costumes and even more ridiculous attacks and transformations, and I’m here for it. I do wish we’d get at least some cameos from the original gang. I also feel that so far, apart from the Red guy (Kyotaro?) the others don’t seem to have much of a distinctive personality. It’s only episode three, so hopefully that’s something we’ll see developed as the show goes on.

Hozuki no Reitetsu: It’s the same as it’s always been, a brilliantly dry workplace comedy. If you haven’t watched the previous seasons, you’re missing out on one of the best comedies of this decade.

Boku no Hero Academia 3: After the recap first episode, the series has gone back full gear ahead into the next story arc and so far it looks pretty cool. Although I’m never a fan of “regular MC activity gets interrupted by villains”. Idk why it bothers me a lot -a prime example being the S Class exam getting cut short in Fairy Tail and the concept of S Class mages completely ditched thereon after. But anyway, I have faith in the writing that they’ll make this villain interruption cool and worth it. I do however wish they’d let us meet the Class B guys better.

Steins;Gate 0: You know, I was 100% ready to be disappointed and abandon this one right away, but damn, damn have these first two episodes been brilliant. The nuances in Okabe’s characterization, the portrayal of his grief, and his more mature attitude seem like a mirror of the watcher who has grown all the same in the seven years since the show’s original season. I’m hoping the teases about Maho as a potential love interest are a red herring, but other than that, I’m blown away by how good it has been so far. Just delete Daru please.

Card Captor Sakura: Clear Card: Things have started happening! We’re starting to see that Akiho’s mysterious book is somehow having an effect over the events of Sakura’s life. The episode with the animals was particularly strong, with a new card that had a nice renovated design, and a really emotionally effective scene of Sakura and Syaoran embracing to help Sakura regain confidence to save her friends. It’s one of the strongest episodes of the series so far, so hopefully we’ll have more of those and less of the “finding a card that only minimally makes 10 cm from a bookshelf disappear” type. As a sidenote, I find Akiho’s obsession with Sakura’s play a bit offputting.

High Priority

Mahou Shojo Ore: Given how little I knew about this series going in and how excited I was about it in spite of it, I’m pleased to report the show has lived up to my expectations in one way or another. The weird comedy is on point and also everyone is fucking gay. I’m rooting for you Blue Girl! Easily the superior show with Mahou Shoujo in its title.

Hinamatsuri: You know, I didn’t have super high expectations for this one, but it’s turned out to be a very nice surprise. It has that charming paternal relationship between Nitta and Hina that is cute and hilarious. I have to say I’m not super into the classmate-forced-to-become-a-bartender storyline and I’m not sure how that even fits with the rest of the show, so I hope there won’t be a lot of vignettes about it.

Piano no Mori: Wonky CGI and occassionally questionable character design choices (Ajino was so BEAUTIFUL in his youth, why does he look so ridiculous in the present?!!!) aside, this has been one of the strongest premieres of the season. I know fans of the manga have criticized it, but as someone unfamiliar with the original, I’m definitely intrigued by this story.

BESTEST

Megalobox: This one wasn’t on my radar at all. It’s one of those numerous cases of me seeing a title that sounds stupid and deciding to ignore the show based on that alone. I’m glad I stumbled on all the praise the premiere episode received because damn is it good. The story behind the cameras is that this is a 50th anniversary project for Ashita no Joe, and it was meant to be a reboot, but the director couldn’t find a way to make it work, so he created something entirely new, and aren’t we glad about that. It has a unique retro look and although the plot beats do call back to Ashita no Joe, our Joe feels like his own person alright. I think my only nitpick is that I’m not entirely sure of what is even the point of the additional gear. Also, I know how Ashita no Joe ends and I hope this show won’t end like that too :’D

Golden Kamuy: How long has it been since the last time a multi-awarded manga not only wasn’t disappointing but ended up being one of the most promising anime adaptations of the season? Yes, everyone’s seen the ugly CGI bear, moving on, this is a captivating and unique historical show with a so far excellent portrayal of Ainu culture and a kickass lady coprotagonist.  I am really excited to see where this one will go. Also, it was really exciting to hear characters actually speaking ainu language. I’ve done some research on Ainu history (and kickass Ainu women) for school, so I’m very pumped about this one.

Otaku ni Koi wa Muzukashii: By far my favorite premiere of the season. So far, two episodes in, it’s all I ever hoped it would be and more. The characters are charming, Narumi and Hirotaka’s relationship feels natural and effortless -both the romantic aspect of it, and the way they easily become comfortable with one another-. Narumi is delightful and very well-rounded, being as cheerful and optimistic as she can be cynical, and her quick-developing friendship with Hanako is so violently relatable I was screaming. I really love this show. ALSO THE OP IS SUPER CUTE

I FINALLY FINISHED WRITING THIS IT TOOK FOREVER BECAUSE THERE IS TOO MUCH ANIME

[ithisatanytime]

  i still love my first girlfriend and will probably die loving her, ive accepted it as much as i think i can, its just something like that is literally unacceptable, i will just have to live with it, i still feel fucking great btw, im just being honest, especially with myself.

i smashed my dead-lift personal record by over a hundred pounds, i mean the truth is that despite lifting on and off for years, and being quite dedicated for long periods of time, following a strict weight lifting routine and counting all my calories and macros religiously for several months at a time, i never really made any progress, i didnt have the equipment, but more importantly hormone profile in order to make good gains, maybe if i was somehow more dedicated, but i ate eggs every single fucking day, with hamburgers for dinner, for a full year (i religiously counted calories and macros and made it work, i had a thirty dollar weekly budget to buy groceries with, and i was the only one paying my families rent and bills at the time (poorly might i add) and it was the best i could do with what i had,. but i never really was able to even squat my own body weight as all i had access to was an easy curl bar with 85 pounds total in plaster weights, i would tie bags filled with 2-liter bottles of water, so many on each side it looked fucking rediculous, eventually i just ran out of room for bags, i had no fucking squat rack so i had to clean whatever i was gonna squat “snatching” it up in front of me to do front squats. the point is it was bullshit, i never progressed despite trying as hard as i htink a person in my situation realistically could try, but i couldnt even gane a pound of muscle without eating so much that i gained a pound of fat with it, and when i tried to slim back down i would just lose the muscle with it, it was soul crushing but i stuck with it. then i just decided to be honest with myself, i had always used every drug under the sun, each with its own side effects including the very strong likely hood of causing deadly lung cancer, why the fuck wouldnt i use the one drug that gives you muscles and turns you awesome? makes no damn sense, and even as a kid heavily influenced by D.A.R.E. i decided i would never do drugs (lol) except testosterone, and i studied it for years dreaming of it one day. anyway, all my old PRs were fuckign bullshit and it feels amazing to not only break my damn PRs every day, but also to get crazy and visually significant results once i stopped fucking around.

  i just had to be honest with myself, do i want this? how bad? do i have the same dedication i had when i was 20 years old to autistically monitor my diet and weight progress? fuck no i am old and tired and i feel like shit all the time. the other way being honest with myself helped, is for the first several times i went to the gym i didnt even touch the squat rack, it was enough to just show up, as i was feeling sick most of last year (improperly managed estrogen) and eventually i just squatted the fucking 45 pound bar. if i made it to hard on myself i would never have accomplished anything, if i would have kept bullshitting myself telling myself i just had to be more dedicated i would literally have never realized my dream. just be honest with yourself.

[pokefanbri]

https://www.facebook.com/104057744428568/posts/156998459134496/?sfnsn=mo&d=n&vh=e

Fucking told him its a huge red flag if someone doesn't get rid of their apps. Multiple apps. Smh 😠 "oh yea i don't use them anymore" proceeds to use fb dating app" for real come on bro!

Some comments of the post:

"If you have to be checking up on your Partner then you shouldn't be with that person.. Idk how people have time for all this .. love yourself and know your worth.."

"If you're in a serious committed exclusive relationship you should not be on tinder. That's how I met my fiance and as soon as we said we are gf and bf and exclusive we both deleted it. Honestly if I was her I would have broken up with him too"

"a person also has a right to trust their gut feeling and check things out if something's not feeling right. Knowledge is power"

I've already discussed this but this news clip further validates my point of the topic, nothing more. I could call him out on hs bs further with detail, but I won't....yet, out of respect even though he probably doesn't deserve it. Til he reaches me & apologizes for everything he's done, i can say whatever tf I want & i could make a whole damn list.

Its the events of this what happened that started our downfall to begin with cuz i didn't trust him & he didn't even try to gain it back just left it as is when I could've turned my back right then & there, no apology either. Didnt apologize much actually, not even when i last saw him. But from then we spiraled & he got bored of me. I wasn't giving him what he wanted in whatever way & he wanted to find more. Closed himself off from the beginning & that created his boredom 😒

Would've had a blast together like a normal fucking couple if he was less closed off, & wouldn't have felt the need to do shit behind my back.

I'll stop talking about it for now, I have the anger & urge to keep going but I wont...actually no Screw it im pissed 😡 but ill keep it light. Its just not fair, I did so much for him but I was disrespected in different aspects of the whole relationship. Fuck! I've talked about the positives alot cuz i do love him..but the negatives are such bs too.

I want a good ass sincere apology for all of it so I can forgive him & move on, ive already apologized myself even though I dont think I should have to 😒. Didnt even give me a straight answer for the breakup, it was always a different excuse when I know he just wanted to pursue other women without me around im not fucking stupid. His own toxicity was too much even for himself & I was in the line of fire, to where i was the toxic one? No fuck that its unacceptable, he always lied when it came to covering his own ass.

For all i know he's watching me squirm & taking pleasure in all the pain I'm going through over him cuz he likes the attention. But no I actually don't think so on that one he's still good & ill give him credit where its due. But I gave him all the attention he wanted/needed & still wanted more from someone else. Really dude fucking really!?

Man up & own up to your mistakes, speak to me where I can actually hear ur voice speaking back to me with sincerity. We'll apologize together. Yea ull be pissed about this, but after u get over it & calm down. Give in & call me, granted when ur ready, & open up for once in your damn reserved life. Itll help us both with more closure & may even take a weight off our shoulders if we just talk it out, no arguing...since we're done there's no point anyway..a friendly non judgment zone cuz idc, i won't think of u any less.

U confused me during & especially after the relationship cuz i didnt know who u really were, i know the good cuz that's what u allowed me to see, ive accepted the bad that I knew already & from what ive learned...i accepted u regardless.

I always forgave u & not cuz im passive, cuz forgiveness is what the Bible teaches.. ive forgiven u & myself the best i could especially with the last things ive showed u, (accept this part cuz im pissed rn & standing up for myself, ill delete eventually maybe if u ask cuz nobody wants to be seen any less of a person. but I can make it alot worse, calling me the mistake was the worst thing u ever said to me & pointing out your faults so u can be better throughout the relationship was my only toxicity to u) we actually never really fought except the 1 time, just argued a tiny bit rarely about little things.

Ive tried using every ounce of my courage to show u how much im sorry for any wrong ive done. but its up to u now to make things right. U know me, ive always said that u can talk to me about anything. I want to be able to trust again & move on whilst staying friends. What else do u have to lose, might even have a great heart to heart convo dude to dudet

Everything ive ever said up to this point lies all my Questions. But here's most of the list, we both were equally in control of the relationship. Maybe u didn't want me to? But doing everything I had to for myself & the household, what u & ur parents wanted of me & just me being me cuz i had to, u had your own part to play & did provide...but did u actually not want me to cater to u if it were a sign u were lazy or something? Like did u not feel worthy of me? What is it u think is my "addicting personality" that isn't fixable on the surface? What is it really that u didnt like about me? This is why i don't have closure, u left me like this, confused as well as wanting more since u held back so much. Was that on purpose to give me even more false hope & want me to pine over u? Did u ever or do u still, love me at all? What did u want from me & out of the relationship, what was the purpose of it from ur perspective & why do u think i couldn't give that to u? What did i lack that u felt compelled to not tell me so I could improve & vise versa so we both could improve? Why wouldn't u allow me to help u become a better man when (I shouldnt have to btw), its exactly what u wanted but maybe didnt see it? Do u realize your own faults even as u do them? Lol. Like i genuinely want to know as much as the good ive seen, cuz to be better the more open of a person u are the more u understand yourself too.

Unless claiming u want to be a better man is part of ur alluring charm in love bombing process to land a caring girl on purpose lol...god I hope not, that would just mean u rinse & repeat like a for real narcissist 🤔 seriously tho look into that im not even kidding, im asking cuz i care. Im pissed now but 1 thing is that im trying to not put ur behavior against u cuz maybe u can't help it, its just the way u are, all ive seen & experienced points to maybe 50% of u lol. Ive always suspected narcissism, a real psych problem that might be worth looking into. But yea 1 of the reasons especially why im so forgiving & trying not to put it against u, why i still care despite u being a dick lol. I chose to look past it, all the time & up to now cuz I understand what its like to have psychological ailments. The worst part about it is most dont realize it, so i encourage u to do some research & self reflection & admitting it to urself are the 1st steps. Okay? There's different kinds & levels to being 1 too, i found that fascinating. bryan is definitely a different type, ur more lighter than that...definitely not the worst which is the physical harm type. Trust me its worth finding out more about yourself, just dont use it to ur advantage in a bad way but i trust u to do right & grow. Not sure a discarded supply (ie me) has ever tried telling a narcy what they might be for the benefit of their own self awareness 🤔,idk if its ever been done, but theres a 1st for everything? U can find alot on it in quora digest alone but Google is also ur friend.

You always were worth every effort of mine to help u in any way to be happy, & i was most happy when u were. U mean alot to me still, its the effect u had on me, I was under ur spell lol its hard to rid myself of it still, not sure when it'll pass. I chose to see it as a gift rather than a curse, that ur effect on me is still so strong when I shouldn't give a damn. If u really are a narcy, then I understand & don't put alot against u cuz its just the way u are & i need to accept it, but if it somehow helps u to help yourself cuz of it, then whats the harm? But, even in doing this or having my socials public for u...maybe just feeds into what u want...i still dont care, I want u to see how bad or good im doing without u in my life, so u know im okay at least. U promised friendship, least I can do is allow u to keep tabs on me too we spoke of, on my end of things.

The 18th of June was the last time i saw u. It'll soon be a month ago in about a week & a 1/2 & your birthday would mark 2 months. Cant believe we couldn't even last through to that 😔

Mark my words playa I will be contacting u on that day lol. Can't ghost your homie forever sweetie

[neakd]

I've been too ashamed to ask anyone this but I look up to you and think you're beautiful. Do you like how your naked body looks? I'm not as thin as you but I wish every day that I was. It's not a "society" thing but I've only ever liked looking at myself when i've been really thin, even when I was little I've felt like this. I love curves and big boobs and butts on other girls(i'm bi btw) it legit turns me on but the thought of me not have my boney fingers and defined ribs scares me. Help?

hey honey! i understand what youre saying, ive struggled with my body for a long time, and i still do! i used to be a lot thinner than i am now but that was only because i was starving myself. i realized that if i eat when im hungry it doesnt matter what my body looks like because i can be a person again. anorexia almost took my life, my hair was falling out, bruises covered most of my body, i was peeing blood and getting kidney stones more frequently, i could barely walk without vertigo and i couldnt shower with hot water or id pass out. almost every time i saw my friends theyd get teary eyed with worry and that ate me alive. my body struggles were a mix of society/media influence and i was also in a low place and wanted control over something. i thought id look better. its part of the reason why i quit tumblr for a couple of years and recently came back. im still dealing with residual health problems from being near death and i will be forever and it is not a fun price to pay.

i have good days and bad days, the fear of gaining weight hangs over me at all times, because i convinced myself that i looked better when i was thinner, but it isnt worth the cost. body dysmorphia is a demon and even at the lowest point for me when i was barely 100lbs i thought i had to keep losing more because it was never enough, i couldnt see myself or what i had become. i convinced myself that i was some deformed monster. however, after learning to take care of myself i felt more attractive. i didnt feel like an obsessive husk with one goal, i was able to focus myself creatively, and i actually had energy to see the people i love most! ive been unlearning toxic fatphobia that was engrained in me at a young age (mother suffers from an ed) its a forever process but what helped me a lot is self assurance. i try really hard not to compare myself to other people these days. i realized its actually pretty cute to have some belly squish, and i love having an ass and powerful legs. whenever i look in the mirror i make silly faces at myself and try to smile and instead of using negative talk i try to compliment myself instead. whenever i start getting in a thought loop of things i dislike about my body i try to double down on the compliments toward myself, even if i dont believe them in the moment. im trying to rewire my brain. 

something else too is that i am uniquely me! no one else has my exact body, and i think thats super cool. just like you! every ‘imperfection’ is just something that makes you you! i have scoliosis so one of my shoulders is more muscular than the other/higher up and my spine is curved. i used to be super insecure about it but now i adore it, its kinda weird lookin but i love being a little weird lookin, it makes me unique. this is maybe tmi or a bit of a tangent but just know youre beautiful and my inbox is always open! remember to nurture yourself and dont be a bully to your own body, i hope this helps at all : ) <3

[tyrellsimsoficeandfire]

Huge Replies of a Month 🌸

Recently, I only manage to do such a post once a month. To some of you I’ve already replied under the posts or via PM. Hope, I didn’t forget someone.

@treason-and-plot:  I really like the intimacy of this scene 😊

@declarations-of-drama:  Sumptuous! Was the word that came into my head when I see the legs in the bath-tub. Very nicex

Thank you! I found that scene really sexy, too! Jaime is my favourite sim. I love is looks because I modeled him a bit on the actor who portrays him:

Nikolaj Coster-Waldau vs. my Jaime

Hope, you see the resemblance! I’ll release him for Download when I reach 500 followers soon.

@mentally-restless:  rip the real queen of westeros

@dreamywritingdragon:  MY BABIES!!!!!!!! Fuck this show, like, so much :/

@westerosims: thank you for this ive been so annoyed since Sunday's weirdly inaccurate interpretation of highgarden

@owly-sims:  Thanks for this! It's a great tribute to Lady Olenna.

It’s good to be in company of more Olenna fans! I know that at least two of you read all the books. You are book purists as I am. And yes, I did this to show GRRM’s TRUTH!!!!!! The Reach is renowned for its fine knights. They totally fucked that up in the show.

@treason-and-plot: It's such a richly layered world. 😍

Thank you! I try to have some variety for it’d be boring if I would always show the same sets. And I want to portray the different cultures of the series. I google a lot for castles and inspiring locations. This one is just a small corridor built without much effort. Sometimes I re-use sets but in a way, you would not recognize.

@andantezen:  wonderful scene!

@lifeasasim: True!

THANKS! @andantezen    You love classical greece. You must know that one of the pictures was inspired by the Statue Apollo and the Nymphs from Versailles. 😊

@treason-and-plot: It also reminds me of Norman Lindsay's paintings.

I didn’t know his name, but I’ve seen his works before. I totally see the similarities. Sometimes I get inspired by the art of British pre-raphaelite artists. I like the romanticised Middle Ages there.

@danjaley:  This scene has quite a Wagnerian aesthetic! :P

Thank you! The Wagner comparison made me smile. I like that for I understand you find my stuff quite epic. Not a fan of his music but I like how he turned myths into a very own epic saga. And yet, as a German you might understand why I find it a bit problematic. But thanks for your compliment!

@simblu:  SUMPTUOUS pix! I lingered over the details. :)

Thanks! Too much details are my “guilty pleasure” as many of you might know. I can’t even do normal gameplay anymore because I’m so obsessed with detailed scenes. I always imagine people living in these rooms. Real people would have many decorations and many objects laying around. I want to catch such an atmosphere of a vivid place. Also this Throne Room, I have in many versions under different rulers: One with Dragon decor, a neutral one and a version with lions.

@andantezen: I love it now that we can actually enlarge the pictures :)

Wasn’t this possible all the time? But still, a high quality picture loses quality when uploaded.

@treason-and-plot:  I love the contrast between this scene and the last 😊😊

I absolutely need a balance between epic/dramatic and light(funny scenes: I love the dark and action-loaded stuff. But this takes too much time I don’t have. Therefore, when I’m in simming mood I create some jolly stuff. Mostly these are some sex scenes or very unrelevant scenes. So I hope followers will for give me that there was more nudity than serious stuff during the last weeks. I really needed a break (and I was attracted by some sexy male characters I recreated as sims)....

@declarations-of-drama: Didn't get chance to comment on ipad yesterday. Wonderful recreations here! I love the dragon/bat statues looking on. It all looks so grand! 

You told that before: Is commenting impossible from tablets?

The dragon statues were actually a late solution: In the original story, the throne room is decorated with skulls of extinct dragons. I didn’t find such stuff or dinosaur skulls for Sims3. But I think the statues look even better.

@dreamywritingdragon:  Your Jaime has such fancy hair :p And he looks great on that throne :p Great scene!!

Thank you! That’s my young Jaime. It’s such a cliche that in movies, persons always have more fancy/ longer hair when shown in flashbacks. I used tat too! And isn’t he hot on that throne?

@murfeelee:  Why you so perfect? I love this. So much detail; beautiful screenies as always!

THANK YOU, my dear! I’m not perfect at all. But I’m an annoying perfectionist ;-)

@dreamywritingdragon:  MY CHILDREN!!!!!! This is all so beautiful!!! The Princess of Dorne reminds me of Olenna Tyrell, but that must be the clothes :p Oberyn looks like trouble^^ Ashara doesn’t seem happy, and Elia’s dress is so beautiful!!

Actually, the Princess is just an older version of Elia that gained some weight. I didn't even edit the face. And Ashara...I wanted an expression that shows that KL will be a dangerous place as Oberyn suspects, too.

@danjaley:  Aww, I spotted some poses! :)

I have so many poses but I always end up using yours. Looking forward what you come up next!

@andantezen: I love it how you choose poses to convey the difference between the characters' personalities -- it's so clear between the two men, and again between the two ladies. Very nuanced. Always pretty.

For the men, I wanted to show how the princess’ brother is not amused about the royal match. But I didn’t intend tension between the young ladies. It was like a mistake. The poses I used on the one in purple actually were neutral ones. Maybe her facial features made them look different? But it doesn’t matter. In the books, that lady becomes a lady-in-waiting after her princess weds the crown prince. She is admired at court and that may be dangerous. Her expressions might be foreshadowing.

@simsos:  Beutiful photos and environment!The story of Elia and Rheagar is very tragical.Regards!

Thank you! And welcome to the community. Nice to see another GOT-inspired simmer from Europe!

@treason-and-plot:  😮where is the snoring coming from?

Apparently, from the blue parrot. I didn’t notice until you pointed out.

 @mentally-restless:  elia!!!!! i really want to know more about her! lovely scene as always :)

I think, we’ve discussed her a lot. Let’s go on whenever we want.

@andantezen:  I wish I were an insect to get closer :)

Oh, you aren’t the only one who wants that. Just getting really close... Hope, others are ok as well if I’ll do more gay scenes with them There isn’t much plot with them I could tell.

@lifeasasim:  Love the yellow flowers covering them. Artistic :)

@owly-sims:  I love the last picture! Beautiful composition

Thanks! That idea came to my mind while creating. I didn’t really know what I wanted. I needed golden roses but didn’t have. I thought daffodils would do.

@murfeelee:  Yaaaaaas! I totally shipped them. Loras was hilarious, and Renly was awesome, full stop. <3

I love them! The actors were hot. Nothing to add.

@treason-and-plot:  I love the dappled sunlight on the book. Gorgeous!

I never plan those things. They simply happen in Monte Vista. Every world has its own light.

@sabrinastarkmartell:  Yas Dorne makes me so happy

Me, too!!!! But many people don’t like Dorne for the things the show did. Or they don’t even care. And they don’t know Arianne or recognize that Tyene.  

And I found Arianne x Oberyn somehow intriguing! I’m guilty, yes! But I thought of Rhaenyra and Daemon.

@declarations-of-drama:  MMMM!!! The scenery! The mood! This makes me want to sweep my Sims off their feet and go to Egypt, don't know if it's safe though - are they still rioting in Cairo? :/

Well, I think Al-Simhara is safe. But RL Egypt is a dream of mine I may never fulfill. I don’t feel it’s safe going there now. Ancient Egypt was my first passion. I really got into the history and I am some kind of expert. There was plenty of Egyptian CC for sims 2 but almost none for Sims 3.

@declarations-of-drama:  Wow!!! That bathtub scene is so sensual with the way you've posed them! CAn almost feel their bodies touching!! :D

Thanks you like it! This was one of those show sex scenes I did just for fun. The silver-haired guy Viserys is kind of an asshole. But I find him kind of attractive.

@mentally-restless:  Amazing as always 😌😁

@lifeasasim: #TEAMDANY  Btw i love this... and so much depth. 

@i-am-a-lady-damn-it:  Gorgeous!!!

@andantezen:  very beautiful and dramatic and atmospheric!

@treason-and-plot:  Wow that was very intense in all senses of the word. And hugely enjoyable too  ❤

@murfeelee:  Don't do this to meeee~~! That was my favorite chapter. I was so glad when that evil witch heifer wench died. Doing my baby's daddy like that! U_U

THANKS TO ALL OF YOU!!!!! This was by far my favourite scene to do. I love the effects fire creates during night in game. And I finally wanted to use Severinka’s Mongolian huts. They just fitted perfectly for Dothraki!

@declarations-of-drama:  This is wonderful! I can't imagine how long it took to get all of them posed and lined up for that scene. And the baby dragon!!! Makes me want to hug it!!!!  The way she is holding it in the last shot! 😍😍😍

It took quite some time. But the background sims always stayed in the same pose. Just moved them around a bit. The Dragons are actually the Wyverns by Severinka. I placed them on lots of OMSP resizers.

@andantezen: in one word: Lush!

@lifeasasim:  Goodd, look at that room. The details!!!

@declarations-of-drama:  Very cool! The snake shot is very clever

Thank you! That room is one of my favourites. Not the usual medieval style. The people of Dorne are a more oriental culture and I tried to build in their style. They love luxury and lead a life of free love. I liked to put a lot of gold and glitter there. And the snake is there for Oberyn’s nickname is “Red Viper”.

@simblu:  Now to come back and comment..how gorgeous, as always, such lush settings, so true.

Thank you! That bedroom is one of my favourite creations!

@murfeelee:  I shipped these little nutcases so hard, ngl.

You did? I thought no one would be perfect for Joffrey. Margaery would have known how to control him but I don’t think this was a been a perfect match.

@lifeasasim:  Margaery is one smart woman.. ashamed cersei killed her

I’d like to chase Cersei through the streets for this ringing a bell and calling “Shame, Shame, Shame!!!”

@treason-and-plot: I am excited i knew that was Joffrey! Go me! 😁

Who doesn’t know that little cunt? One of the most hateable characters on TV.

@declarations-of-drama: This was so erotic in a twisted way! I love the story here! And the way you captured their expressions aiming the weapon. If she killed something he would probably bend her over that fruit bowl and show her his. . . blade of passion because they seem so aroused in the moment! hahaaction

You get the point! Joffrey is really twisted. He likes violence but he doesn’t dare to touch his future wife Margaery. She plays him. And I had a feeling that stroking the crossbow was as if she touches his cock for him. 

@sabrinastarkmartell:  THANK YOU

You were actually one of the reasons I decided to do this. You brought Tyene back to my mind.

@andantezen:  did they castrate him? :O

Luckily not. They wanted to have a threesome but he came too early. I just found the idea of them using some mysterious drink interesting. Maybe it’s something for his “Manhood”. I didn’t pay attention that there was a skull on the bottle. Maybe they wanted him to be a better lover but that plan didn’t play out. That was just for fun. I’ll get back to more serious scenes.

@declarations-of-drama:  He so reminds me of Prince in these shots!

Yes, a little bit. But I didn’t have him in mind for I don’t have associations with Prince. I just wanted to create a dark southern, handsome lad.

@danjaley:  I guess it wouldn't be Game of Thrones without these kind of scenes - but now I'm looking forward to Jayne being rescued!

@lifeasasim:  Poor girl... :/

Thank you for I didn’t get hate for this one! I really left out the last sentences which implied how Ramsay abuses Reek/Theon and Jeyne. One can only guess what terrible things happened during that night. I believed, showing this one first wouldn’t raise much questions when I do the rescue scene. 

But it’s harder to do than I thought. I want to show the dramatic action when they finally save her...

@murfeelee:  Which is one of the many reasons why Theon will always and forever be on my Piece of Sh!t list

I’m always here to defend Theon. What should he ave done? He’s a victim of Ramsay as Jeyne is. He humiliated him, brutalized him, hurt him, abused him...That man was broken. He wasn’t strong enough to be brave during that night. I thought a lot about it. What if he stabbed Ramsay? Would he save Jeyne? I think, no. With Ramsay dead, they had to escape. But how? Others would have come to punish him for murder. And what would to innocent Jeyne. All that stuff tat happened to them is unspeakable. I can’t imagine such horrors they went through...

This is too long. I need to do replies more often.

[violenceeisgolden]

Tmi/tw/an update

Had such strong cravings for alcohol/such strong urges to say "fuck my health, I'm already fucked, lets fucking lose all this weight you gained in recovery, buy some adderall and vodka and allllll the opiates in the world and at least enjoy however many shitty yrs you have left" except like ???? Okay, so my private insta kept !! Getting !! Fucking deleted !! Idk why, like yeahh i bitch about my drug problems and my mental illness but i have never shared a triggering picture? Meanwhile all these accts with people fkn shooting up are still up? Huh what a concept So anyway, i was thinking of making a side blog. Or i could just vent on here i guess but posting on my side blogs sounds safer. Damn. Been out of the Tumblr world for a while now. Anyway, since it's quite clear that I don't care about a fkn thing anymore... lemme give you all a lil update on the joke that is my life. This one's gonna be EPIC. So. Uh. First things first... I made it five days without any form of any opiate in my system. I did not eat anything in those 5 days. (Wanna lose weight?! Just get addicted to painkillers and develop crohns, then quit your painkillers cold turkey!!! You'll drop 10 lbs in a week!) I did not keep many fluids down, aside from the days when i was in the hospital. I was shitting and puking blood by the fourth day, because my body had nothing left in it to get out. I still smell like the stench of withdrawal - aka, overpowering body odor, desperation, sadness, guilt... etc. On the fourth day, my "stool" was nothing but black and blood.. I knew my potassium was low, not including sodium, etc. Was starting to get chest pains. Blah blah blah. IST was acting up. Whatever. I knew I had no choice but to go to my shitty hometown clinic (and... yeah i hate NOTHING more than that fucking place). Luckily, I got this cool 1st shift dr who appreciated my extensive knowledge of my esophageal and colonic conditions. She also gave me morphine. But I mean, 4mg through an IV is like... nothing. But.. that fucking rush. Whenever I get IV narcotics in hospitals, it's a nice reminder for me to forever stay tf away from needles. Anywhoooo Moving along. So i got some fluids/potassium, two of my veins are dead now (not even bc of drug use, as i stated above.. legitimately because I've had one too many IVs placed or wtf ever) so they had to stick me a million and one times and i was like :))))) yeahhhh keep causing more pain guys because ya know. I can just fucking take it obviously!!! And then.. this bitch drops the bomb that i realllyyyyy have been hoping was NOT true for like... ya know... a fucking year... that... okay fuck it, you guys all know i am a shit person anyway, lets add onto it.. anyway yeah. I have herpes. And my HPV is progressing. Still dunno about those cancerous cells bc no one tells ME ANYTHING but she said i have a severe pelvic infection that is travelling towards my liver. So they're like "lets do a REALLY intense course of antibiotics" and im like ??? Fucking a man im getting mad just writing this all out. Anyway i was like uhm. How tf am i supposed to keep down antibiotics when i CAN'T EVEN KEEP DOWN WATER THAT IS WHY I'M FUCKING HERE JFCCCC. And they were like "yeah we're aware but you legit do not have a choice" bc yeah, don't want my liver to go downhill (I've been such a lil fuck to my drs lately.... could not care less tho bc they deserve my bluntness) so i called my new case worker (she is super chill, super gay, lets me swear and call my drs fuckers as much as i want, which is dope) and basically explained, she said she's gonna try and get me back on subs legally so i can at least nourish myself and keep my health up (ill still be in pain but I'm learning that id rather have my body not slowly dying and be in pain... what a cool sacrifice. I also was like... "Hey yeah no hospital is gonna admit me rn... and my health is worse now than it was in '14 when i weighed 60 lbs less so like... I'm going to use street subs. Or opiates in general. For a few days. So i can get my electrolytes back somehow... also did i mention i have herpes? *bawling ensues* anywhooo... Just thought I'd let you know." And she was like "Fair enough. You need to eat." And i was like okay cool tell my dr and his bitchy nurse that usually replies to my messages bc i do not need anymore fucking stigma rn .. okay? Tyvm" so that was.. that i guess. So yeah. I used. On day 5. And... i didn't even truly fucking want to. That's the worst fucking part of this whole fucked up bullshit... I WANT TO PROVE EVERYONE WRONG AND SHOW THEM THAT I CAN DO THIS. And i could have. If it wasn't for my poor health... i fucking could have. And I'm gonna tell that to my pdoc when I see him. But you know what? I fucking ate. I kept down a loooottttt of liquids. Opiate wds technically cannot kill you. And the thing is... I've been through the "near fatal" ones (booze and benzos)... but I always caught my alcohol dts super fast, got treated and then away i went. But no. Opiate withdrawals will not be dangerous~~~..... to a person who is in decent health. I say decent bc lbs if you're using them either legally or illegally, something is already prob wrong lol. I remember a story that my ex sponsor who is now a good but distant friend (who relapsed, and when she relapsed, we became close lol shes sober now tho dw) told me once about opiate dts... she said one of her friends was so dehydrated, malnourished, etc... that he almost did die. And it took him almost dying for anyone to take him seriously. And, as I was laying in that miserable hospital bed... I remembered that. Opiate wds cannot kill you, but you're gonna wanna a) kill yourself, because it's honestly fucking easier that way (or so your mind will tell you) and b) if you're in poor health... try and find a detox center/hospital that will take you. ASAP. On tuesday... fuck i lost my train of thought... (in other news, i now have a promethazine script and... boy oh boy lol probably the best non naroticc/not scjeduled drug I've ever gotten my grubby lil hands on)... yeah idk that's all I publicly got rn. If you actually read all this... 👀 @ you, Ashley, bc ik you're the only one who reads my shit on here anymore (love you for that, btw 💜)... but yeah if you read this all, you guys are the real MVPs... I'm gonna start using one of my private blogs on here. Mainly because..welll...its fucking private and also really enjoy the fact that i saved the URL "clonqz3pain" so... yeah that's all I got. Hope you all are doing better than me.

[ggiame]

all the stuff under the cut

Everything is wrong at the moment, its 70 degrees in february, DT is president, and everything just seems transitional and out of place and temporary. I have 6 jobs right now. im working all the time and yet theres no money. i dont know. just having one of those weird surreal chunks of weeks that im trying to capture with a long text post on a public forum. here we go. 

(heads up, me and my therapist named and externalized my anxiety into a character I call ‘chanel’ after the terrible ex and I quote her for clarities sake when ‘quoting’ my anxiety. so yeah. thats who chanel is)

money:

none, somehow. 

work:

float sixty, leghorn chicken, aloft reception, pole teaching, online tutor, property manager, and also segway is coming back and also maybe still street performing? dude. 

okay highlights version

F60: my boss is Lia, a White Lady who used to work in the beauty industry and is On. a. Diet. She is neurotic and perfectionistic but also a weird hippie which is an odd combination of traits i happen to understand well so we get along nicely. She likes me and I like her. All of my co workers seem cool. Also There is a Cute Boy there who i know next to nothing about.

LH: wow okay its food service but i really like my co workers and also the food is decent but not addicting and i do make some tips. Im making friends there the fastest but its also the job im least attached to. conflicting feelings. 

Prop Man: oh my god. rats. broken washing machines. broken stoves. intrigue. sabotage. tune in sundays at 8/7c

My family was joking yesterday that i have the “Karlin Family Work Ethic” and that i was doing too much but somehow i still feel like a lazy, useless, slug who should really just work a little harder. Weird. 

The injury-----

The elbow is healing relatively fast. it still feels like a year and a day since i last climbed a rope. its probably two weeks out from being -mostly- functional. right now its int htat good enough for life but not for circus zone. Also now im kinda scared of going back up a rope. which is. not. good. but ill deal with when i get there. fear is the worst. ugh. 

FeElings-------------

Okay theres a lot of relationship feelings stirring around in my life despite the fact that i have no significant other and here’s why. 

boys: 

east coast boy- just as bad at keeping in itstouch as I am. is still wonderful. but its been so long theres really only echoes left. 

west coast boy: all that weird buildup for an extremely short lived fling that did next to nothing to release all that pent up wierdness. it continues. This boy is much better at keeping in contact.  its getting harder for me to keep talking to him as it gets clearer that neither of us is going anywhere soon. 

work boy: cute, seems cool, but i have no idea who he is at all. 

tinder boy: i like him a lot, but im not attracted to him yet and i dont want to do that to another person. also can i make myself be attracted to someone? thats playing with too many things. no answers yet. needs more pondering. 

Other work boy: Chanel  “he did not come to the diner with you on valentines day. has not liked any of your social media posts. probably hates you and also thinks youre ugly. its okay you probably wont see him for another two months.”

Girls and others:

Theres a couple straight girls im into and we all know how that goes. They have boyfriends. it sucks. 

the circus one:i havent seen this person in a frustratingly long time. dammit. 

also im still afraid of flirting with girls because of Amber Chanel B. the Ex from Hell. which is super awesome. 

not. 

The Room Mate:

1) is mysterious and doesnt say much

2) is clearly in a bad mood a lot. cause shes working sleeping or working out and never gets a second to herself. 

3) which totally means that shes mad AT ME ALL THE TIME 

4) and she has taken this super central place in my anxiety tornado which I am now worried that she is aware of and annoyed by. which is also part of the tornado. yeah. 

The pot: 

wow i started to get into serious problem territory this past month and i felt it building up to the moment. which happened a few days ago. i came to this conclusion

- I have the capabilities of controling and being responsible with my drug usage but my situation right now is making that difficult. The next time i end up on solid emotional ground ill stop until the cravings go away.- 

and here i am. the good weather is helping a lot and i finally felt ready to cut myself off for a while, so i smoked it all and now im out and well see how this goes. 

Bonus---Musings on hunger and stuff-----

So body talk. 

Ive been injured and unable to exercise the way i like

ive taken a job in a fried chicken place. 

so yeah i have some weight gain and acne and loss of muscle tone and its making my body image issues flare up. So ive been doing okay and I havent made myself vomit but I have been eating noticeably less and ive started to just kinda let myself be hungry more which is something i had forgotten about. 

and then i was thinking about it and I realize that im part of this weird subgroup of extremely priveleged people who also know what its like not to eat for 3 days at a time, or what its like to eat less than a thousand calories a day for more that a month, and that I got complimented for what that did to me. I would sleep through classes and almost pass out when i stood up all the time but i weighted 105 pounds and everyone said i looked great.  its a weird thing especially cause it was never really about how I looked, and was entirely about trying to control myself when i have needs that are at odds with my situation. 

Then i thought about last year when i was training so much that my body could not get enough food, but my anxiety and depression were at such a place that I could barely eat, and the way that kind of hunger was different. I had never vomited from hunger before but I got to find out what that was like. That was where the weed problem really started btw cause if I hadnt had pot last year I would not have eaten at all and would probably be dead. Having anxiety so bad that your stomach clenching makes you nauseous and then you get nauseous with hunger on top of that and then you have to fly to ankansas to be at your fav cousins wedding and manage to pull it off and not be a zombie. whew. 

Also I would like to thank lin manuel miranda because (along with pot) Hamilton is what got me through that experience. 

yeah.  

thats all for now. 

[mariasidney]

08/14/17

so, yesteday and today is pretty much a chill day. we are at home for most of the day. yesterday, my cousins and i left in the afternoon to go look for a bingo game to buy so we can all play bingo at home. unfortunately, we werent able to find one yesterday but we were able to find some bean boozled for us at walgreens to try and do a challenge on. we filmed the challenge last night. 

their room has poor lighting so the lighting in the film isnt as great. oops. ive been trying to upload all of the challenges that we did these past few days but boy both instagram and the internet connection are giving me a hard time. ugh. so far, weve done the voting game, extreme sour candy challenge, try not to sing challenge and bean boozled. honestly, im still down for more challenges bcos doing these challenges with my cousins are so fun. PLUS, theyre all down to do them. haha i know, were weird like that. so after visiting target to look for a bingo game, (i ended up getting a book instead btw) we headed to the goodwill store to try and thrift shop. lol sadly, we didnt find any nice clothes either. we met up with nanay, my uncle and aunt at the mall after our attempt at thrift shopping to eat dinner. i was craving sushi but bcos they already found a place to eat at and ordered food ahead of time, we ended up eating at a vietnamese restaurant. 

after dinner, we split up and my cousins and i went to go get bubble tea (i got avocado ofcourse) and some egg waffles to go. we went to another plaza to look for the bingo game one more time but still no luck for us. so we said well try again tomorrow (which is today). 

as of now, i spent the entire day at home trying to get organized and edited some videos + uploaded some photos on my travel page and what not. my uncle, aunt and grandma went out to go get their car washed and i also asked if they could find the bingo game and grab me an avocado smoothie on the way home. hopefully they find the game and grab me an avocado smoothie. my cousins are chillin in their room watching tv & what not. 

ahhhhhh, im counting down to my last few days here in san francisco. which means, i have to pack soon. and it also means that i will be finally seeing my teddy and both my fishies. work and volunteering are also waiting for me. but i told myself once i get back, id hit the gym up like a boss. LOLOLOL forever gaining weight.    

overall, im still thankful for this opportunity to bond with my fam esp my cousins. we already planned our next trip as a family, which is in summer 2019 to celebrate my graduation. we plan on visiting BANFF and new york. HOW BOW DAAAAAT? hahaha i pray that it does come through. Lord, thank You so much for all the blessings. I know You know how thankful i am and how much i appreciate all these wonderful things that are happening this year. 2017, youve been very good to me. im praying that the following years bring many blessings as well - especially with school and finances. 

tomorrow, we plan on visiting alcatraz (which apparently is a prison) bcos thats where my cousin works (he’s a photographer there and he scored us some tickets which is FANTASTIC) plus we get to ride a ferry which is exciting! im looking forward to it. thats pretty much it so far, ill get back on editing videos and getting organized.   

[qgaje8wz-blog]

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