#ive already played year two and WELP STUFF SURE HAPPENED

[skytroops]

This was going to have a more formal introduction involving a drawing of the deceased cats that explained things, but yer man here is already exhausted so it'll come later.

Welcome to my Clan Gen challenge, in which I play the Warriors fan-game Clan Gen (which can be downloaded here) and draw my clan once every in-game year to see how the clan and its cats has changed over the course of its story. Clan Gen is a life sim, in which you have control over a clan of cats and help them survive against the whims of RNG every moon. The actual in-game cats don't have much in terms of personality and relationships so a lot of what I've written down for them is original. If you've played the game, you'd probably know that lol

So this is Strike, a clowder of cats named after the striking of waves. The founding members were sent dreams of a shooting star that leads them to their new home in the form of an old shipwreck.

The clowder had a trio of co-leaders in the very beginning; Coatidance, Fumblefreckle, and Kestrelwhisper. My game follows my fanclans' terms rather than the canon ones, so their afterlife is the Glory Star rather than StarClan and so on.

Fumblefreckle | male | 135 moons old | shameless / excellent mediator Fumblefreckle co-founded Strike with his friend, Coatidance; and his mate, Kestrelwhisper. However, Coatidance died not long after the group began to settle around an old shipwreck. She became the group’s spiritual guide, leading any future dead to the afterlife. Fumblefreckle was heartbroken, but things only became worse when Kestrelwhisper wandered off in the middle of the night and was found dead the next day. His death wasn’t seen as suspicious, as the clan’s herbalist supposed he had simply died of old age. Before Kestrelwhisper’s passing, Fumblefreckle was a much happier and bright cat but now has become rather distant. He tries to distract himself by keeping himself busy via mentoring, but hasn’t worked great. His age may also be causing him to make some. . .recent questionable choices with the recent apprentices. He sees Gravelspeck and Suncrawl almost like daughters he and Kestrelwhisper never had. He has mentored Cloudlight and Tawnyripple, and is currently the mentor of Shrubpaw. Bluesplash | female | 74 moons old | ambitious / great speaker The clan’s one and only herbalist. She is Cloudlight and Suncrawl’s mother, but she has always been more interested in healing over her kits. Despite this, she does get along with her daughter and the young warrior Snipleap. She has a small mutual crush on Randy, and also thinks Gravelspeck is cute. She is a little worried about the clan’s future as she hasn’t any any sign about obtaining an apprentice yet and Fumblefreckle still refuses to assign a co-leader moons after Kestrelwhisper’s death. Randy | male | 109 moons | bloodthirsty / good speaker Originally a kittypet, Randy wandered the Man village for most of his life and surprisingly keeps a good amount of friends. One of these friends, a fellow kittypet named Sprout, vanished one day and Randy went out to search for him. After asking around for while, he found out that Sprout had been seen with the new clan. Randy made his way there and found Sprout–now Halfsprout–, who was more than happy to see him. As they talked, neither of them noticed a fox was stalking them until it attacked. Halfsprout was fine, but Randy was left with a mangled tail. Halfsprout rushed him to Bluesplash, who sadly had to remove some of his tail. As he recovered, Randy realised that his age was quickly catching up to him and decided to stay in the clan. He also grew attached to Bluesplash while he was stuck in the medicine den. Once he recovered, Fumblefreckle offered to give him an apprentice which he accepted. He is the mentor of Scorchpaw.

Gravelspeck | female | 83 moons old | strange / good speaker A lady who couldn’t catch a break for most of this year, despite the nice beginning. She spent a lovely night with her best friend (and crush), Brownstripe–then watched a clanmate, the young Clayfeather, fall into an icy river and drown while out on patrol in the same moon. Then she lost Brownstripe the next moon while out on patrol when he became trapped in a Man-trap and was taken away. Gravelspeck believed that she was cursed and refused to go out on group patrols, fearing that something horrible would happen. She had been given Brownstripe’s apprentice, Snippaw–and they bonded over their shared loss. Thankfully, Brownstripe returned two moons later and is slowly able to convince Gravelspeck to patrol with him. There, he eventually confessed his feelings and they happily became mates. When a loner, overwhelmed with caring for their kits, asked the clan to take the kits in–Gravelspeck was quick to take them in. She is Snipleap’s former mentor.

Halfsprout | male | 66 moons | careful / good teacher Originally named Sprout, he lived happily with his owners in the nearby Man village. He kept mostly to himself, but he was good friends with the wandering Randy. However, Sprout has a weak immune system so he has spent a lot of time sick. This caused his owners too much time and energy, so when he fell sick with whitecough again–his owners decided to abandon him. He was left on the side of the road to fend for himself. Sprout chased after his owners’ dragon, screaming and catching the attention of a Strike patrol. He was accepted into the clan, but he still deeply misses his owners. He hasn’t done much other than attract Randy to the clan and fall ill a few more times.

Brownstripe | male | 55 moons old | calm / fantastic hunter While he is a great hunter, Brownstripe is otherwise a rather ordinary tom. He was captured and taken away in a Man-trap early in the year, but was released after being neutered. Before being taken, he had Snippaw as his apprentice and they didn’t get along well, as Snippaw loved to make fun of him and was generally disrespectful. He is very grateful to Gravelspeck for finishing Snippaw’s training in his absence. Speaking of Gravelspeck, he simply adores her. He had hoped they’d have kits together, so he was very frustrated when he realized he could not sire anymore. His frustration became worse when Gravelspeck very openly decided to take in the loner’s kits. Fumblefreckle saw this, so he appointed Lightpaw to him in hopes of bringing Brownstripe closer to his kits. He is the former mentor to Snipleap, and is currently Lightpaw’s mentor.

Suncrawl | female | 20 moons | loving / good hunter The clan’s (literal) golden warrior. She grew up alongside her brother Cloudlight, and Snipleap as the clan’s first apprentices. She was apprenticed under Kestrelwhisper, and spent a lot of her time with him and Fumblefreckle before the former’s passing. She reminds Fumblefreckle of Coatidance and spoils her. While both Cloudlight and Snipleap both deeply care about her, she doesn’t feel as strongly in return. In fact, she is rather shallow and entitled and likes her mother best. She objected to Tawnyripple getting an apprentice, as she thought that she or her mother were more capable.

Cloudlight | male | 20 moons | vengeful / good speaker Cloudlight is a grumpy young tom. He was mentored by Fumblefreckle, but he felt left out whenever his mentor spent time with Kestrelwhisper and Suncrawl. He loves his sister, but doesn’t understand why she seems to prefer their mother’s company when their mother hasn’t been the most affectionate towards them. As fresh warriors, he and his sister even chased a dog off clan territory together. Thankfully, he also has Snipleap and Tawnyripple as close friends. He stood up for Tawnyripple when the younger warrior was given an apprentice.

Snipleap | male | 18 moons old | righteous / great hunter Snipleap was more jovial when he was younger and always made fun of Brownstripe with Suncrawl. He would go to regret his actions when Brownstripe is taken by Man and sees how his new mentor, Gravelspeck, is effected by Brownstripe’s absence. He wished he had been given one of the new apprentices, but he stood up against Suncrawl and Bluesplash when they disagreed that Tawnyripple was capable of mentoring at such a young age. Tawnyripple | male | 13 moons old | fierce / great teacher Tawnyripple was the only kitten when the clan was founded, so he has spent most of life being babied by his clanmates. Fumblefreckle was his mentor when Kestrelwhisper died, so Tawnyripple spent a good chunk of his apprenticeship having to be trained by Cloudlight and Snipleap. In hopes of fixing his mistakes and helping Tawnyripple gain more respect with his clanmates, he gives the new warrior an apprentice; Deltapaw. This had the opposite reaction. Suncrawl and Bluesplash objected, but Snipleap and Cloudlight stood up for him. He is Deltapaw’s mentor. Lightpaw | female | 6 moons old | childish She, alongside her siblings, were born to a pair of loners. When they were 3 moons old, their father was struck down by a dragon while they were travelling for better hunting grounds. Their mother was quickly overwhelmed with caring for a full litter, so when she heard of Strike, she left them there. Lightpaw took her new home and family in her stride and quickly decided that she would someday become the next leader. She is highly competitive with her sister, Scorchpaw. Lightpaw is Brownstripe’s apprentice. Scorchpaw | female | 6 moons old | strange The strongest and rowdiest of her litter, Scorchpaw was close to her father before he died. She fell into a deep sadness in his passing, but has been processing her grief through competing against her sister, Lightpaw. Scorchpaw is Randy’s apprentice. Shrubpaw | female | 6 moons old | childish Shrubpaw was the most heartbroken when her mother left, and has become rather stand-offish towards her adopted parents. From what she’s seen of Fumblefreckle, she isn’t pleased that he chose himself to be her mentor. Shrubpaw is Fumblefreckle’s apprentice. Deltapaw | male | 6 moons old | strict Deltapaw believes himself to be the most mature out of his litter, but he very sorely misses his parents. He is trying to keep an aloof demeanour and pretends to not feel upset by Tawnyripple becoming his mentor. Deltapaw is Tawnyripple’s apprentice.

[ayusaurus]

Welp I just slept for 8 hours

Traveling can be so exhausting and I just wasn’t in a good mood anyways yesterday =/

This past weekend was a lot of fun, but it just reaffirmed how I felt about the friends I have irl. I’ve come to realize that I only really have one close friend of the ones I have irl, and it sucks because we’re both busy so we don’t have time to see each other very much aside from once every few months or so. It would have been nice if he could have come, but he didn’t know the guy getting married so that would have been a little awkward if he came, but I think it would have helped my trip be a little more enjoyable than it was.

(Also vent incoming, but positive stuff after the next two paragraphs.)

The friends that met up with my boyfriend and I are nice, but it was just that feeling of knowing we’d all moved onto totally different interests and we couldn’t even carry a damn conversation to save our lives. Sure alcohol helped a bit, but even then it was awkward af and really highlighted just how much closer I am with my friends online who I’m able to be myself around rather than having to be all smiles and force a personality that isn’t my own. It was also mentally taxing due to the fact that I was mostly a tour guide on the trip, I also wound up having to be the navigator, which let me just say, was a bit frustrating when things would happen like getting stuck in traffic cause they’re asking questions, which I KNOW is meant to be vague, but dear lord it felt so much like I was at fault for not knowing that it would take x amount of time to get there. And then later on my friend was like “well it said to allot x amnt of time” at which point I just thought “WELL WHY DIDNT YOU SAY SO IF YOU KNEW???” Like I’m sorry I’m being stressed out by the fact that I’ve had to look over every detail and then I happen to miss ONE thing. And then when we missed a turn on our way back to where we were staying from our wedding, my friend A had to literally say “Why didn’t we just turn there???” To which my other friend goes “Oh well Ayu didn’t say where to turn until the turn came” which one I, and the gps did say where to turn and she didn’t hear, and secondly, me apparently saying “hey, it was a mistake, please don’t say it like that” made them feel like it was an absurd thing to say when literally I just asked them not to say it in that way when I was already feeling blamed for the traffic and stuff even when I wasn’t trying to feel that way. It also didn’t help that when we were running late to other things, no one ever had the foresight to text our friend who lives in Seattle and it was up to me to look after that too. It didn’t help that my boyfriend got sick for two of the days so I was worried about him. Like one of the nights he got a fever too and so that was worrisome cause we’re in a different state and I’m just worried about “what if this gets bad and we have to take him to a hospital??” So that was worrisome. My boyfriend said he felt bad because generally he can help with conversation if things get slow, but then it was up to me to carry conversation, so that just also didn’t help and he wished that he could have been more active in convos, to which I told him it’s okay and that I was happy that he’s feeling better now.

I just was so mentally done by the time Monday came around from dealing with all of that stress of making sure we made it to places on time that I didn’t really want to talk at all and that also carried into Tuesday, which I felt bad for because I wasn’t much of a conversationalist with my boyfriend, so I’m thankful we had Thursday to ourselves in Seattle. Yesterday wasn’t as good of a day either cause it was a day I would have been visiting a friend, but wasn’t able to due to things that could have been fixed more easily if I had the hindsight and tools I’ve gained in therapy to realize and deal with things better. So that was just somewhat of a moodkill too sitting in the airport to head home instead of being on a flight to more fun adventures. So that was a bit =/, but it also was good to get home and just decompress a bit and pass tf out.

However, I don’t want this to be all negative/ vent because I did have a lot of fun as well! I was able to visit a couple beaches, so that was wonderful and I got seashells too!! There’s something about the beach that’s so nice and relaxing and I love the ocean smell and the breeze on my face and through my hair. It’s def calming.

The first day was also nice because over the last few years my boyfriend and I have drifted due to our interests and also due to me pulling away. But Thursday was the first day in a long time that I felt close with him again and we got to have conversations about things that we didn’t have to rehash over and over and over again. It was also the first time I could voice exactly how I’ve been feeling clearly and explain confidently and definitively why I’ve pulled away so much within all my relationships. It felt nice to be able to be honest because I finally had an answer rather than a guess. I apologized to my boyfriend, but this time I felt it held more weight because he could see how the last few months of therapy has helped me in my own understanding of myself and that he felt that my explanations weren’t just bandaids or temporary fixes. Of course I have a long ways to go in mending our relationship, but I feel like this trip has been a very good first step in that process and like a weight was taken off my shoulders.

And of course, the reason I went up there, was because my friend was getting married!!! It was a lovely ceremony and we had an absolutely amazing time at the reception! It was so nice to see my friend marry his best friend and now husband! =) they’re so cute together and made my heart swell to see them so happy!! We also got to visit their house and see that and talk with some of his family that I haven’t seen in a while, so that was lovely. Before seeing his new house we got to go to the space needle and then we took a duck boat tour which was cool cause I learned some things I didn’t previously know. Then afterwards we got to go to the Chihuly museum and garden. Which, let me tell you, was amazing. Chihuly is one of my fave artists, so it was nice to see his pieces in person and something I can cross off my bucket list. That felt absolutely amazing to say the least! I ALSO GOT TO SEE SEA OTTERS OMG!!! I ABSOLUTELY TOOK SO MABY PICS AND IT WAS THE BEST HOUR IVE SPENT OF MY LOFE GETTIG TO SEE THEM AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

And then too, I got to explore more of Seattle than I previously have before, so that was nice. My boyfriend and I are talking about coming back again as there really is just so much to see and do up there. So that was nice af. Also the plane rides were always fun because of clouds. Like let me tell you, I love clouds and flying above the Earth so much and it always makes me happy when I can do it. So it was lovely. ALSO, KIZUKI RAMEN!!! Like omg I always get so emotional when I eat ramen from there because it’s the most authentic Shoyu ramen I can have in the US. There’s a place here at home that kinda comes close, but it’s just not the same. Like, I will get teary when I eat at Kizuki ramen because every bite literally makes me feel like I’m eating in Japan and causes all those memories to come flooding back, so I just love and appreciate it since it makes me feel a little closer to my second home even if it only lasts momentarily. <3

Also the weather was lovely while we were there and it was so awesome to see the mountains and everything so clearly. I got a lot of lovely pics so I’ll get those hopefully posted up this weekend!

Anyways that’s all I’ve got and feel so much better now that I’m home and relax for the next few days before I go back to work on Friday. Gonna play some OW and work on the next update for my comic =)

[wheel-deal]

you wasted my time, made me worry for nothing, lied to me, didn’t believe me, mocked me, insulted me, cheated me, devalued me, strait up refused to communicate with me despite begging.

On the day my grandmother was dying you kept bugging me as to why i wasn’t with you and would accept “personal reasons” as an answer. Despite the fact that I had a lot going on that day I still was thinking about you and still did my job but you ignored me.

I did everything, expected so little, was still disappointed. what was the point???

If you want me to fix everything for you, do everything for you, give me the authority to do so. This relationship needs to be a two way street, I can’t do anything unless you tell me what needs to be done, and I can’t make a difference if I do all the work but you don’t do anything with it.

The worst part is this isnt even about a dating relationship im in. I am the SECRETARY of anime club at school. 

Only one person ran for president and i didnt want to run as well because i wanted to be nice, since he was the only one to run he didnt have to give a speech. Someone else ran for treasurer so i didnt run for that, didnt have to give a speech. I didnt know that anyone else was running for vice president so I wrote a speech as we were supposed to but the day comes around and another person wanted to run for VP. She was shy and didnt want to give a speech so i didnt give mine. Now this girl was quiet and didnt do much for the club, ive gone to 90+% of meeting and helped organize stuff in my freetime in the past and card a lot for the club so i thought for sure id get it. I lost.

Later at the first meeting for clubs (clubs as in all clubs not our club) I went because i wanted to not because i had to nor did I, heck probably i shouldnt have but i wanted to because i wanted to see what our club was expected to do. Turns out clubs need a secretary or they get shut down so the president is like “Hey your here be the secretary please, all you have to do is paperwork” and i was like “Okay”

Now the president has the club binder with paperwork and junk, and since he doesnt do anything and expects me  to do everything i asked if maybe I could see and or have the binder and he said no because the president is supposed to have it. And so i asked where it was and he said he leaves it at home because he doesnt want to carry it around

So when we needed papers for signing up and orders for club shirts i had nothing, and since every kinda knew im the one running things they asked me for papers and i said “I dont have papers (im given nothing) go ask the president” and what doesn our great president say??? “go ask (me)” 

okay

And what does the VP the one who won over me do? She shows up late and literally runs in and hides behind a desk because she is shy... Also she was co in charge of dance (clubs preform a dance once a year) planning with some boy??? idk who he is he just shows up does dance practice and orders us the officers around...

Now Treasurer, i lied he did give a speech “im good at numbers... so i can be treasurer” At the beging of the year i shared a study period with him so we got work done together and planned stuff, but that only worked out 40% of the time because we have no communication as officers. But This dude he complains that no one else (besides him and me) do anything BUT THIS DUDE didnt look up how to spend money as a club and so i payed $180 out of my family’s pockets to buy stuff for club which you arent supposed to do so I looked like an idiot and wasnt able to pay my family back and he kept making fun of me for that mistake. 

ALSO please to anyone reading this thank you for your time but remember This dude. He is rude and self described as “evil” So he claimed no one else did anything but then he signed up for theater so he is expected to be there from 2:30 (we get out at 2:10 and arent allowed to start club until 2:30 so guess who always leaves and doesnt do anything???

SO this rant is leading up to carnival, the day at school where clubs sell food to get money for club. As anime club we sell Pocky, Ramune, and Pork buns. I know no one else does anything so i went to work planning for carnival at the begining of the school year (August)

I found out there is an asian market that sells the ramune so i went with my dad and bought 100 bottles. Not a lot really our school has 2200 students so thats a small number, carival has so many people. But all of the paperwork on how much we bought in the past years is either lost or recorded in paperwork i dont get access to as mentioned earlier. So better to buy little and sell out quick right? This was the incident where i lost my families money. There is a stupid school rule where you cant spend more than $100 per day. well the stuff was $1.80 each so welp... we couldnt get re reimbursed.

Upset obviously i tried to find out all of the rules to order stuff so i wouldnt mess up again. But the problem is the rules lady person is on the opposite side of school. (our school is long) And my ride comes to pick me up right after school gets out and i cant be late so finding time to go talk to her never really happened. and it stressed me the heck out. I asked the treasurer to do stuff since thats you know his job but he never did anything!! ! and by this point i should have nown he doent pull his own weight but im a trusting forgiving person and it is awful but my nature, wish i wasnt...

JANUARY 12th I asked him to get the pricing of the porkbuns, he knew a place that had them but we needed pricing and know if we have to pick the up or not. EVERY WEEK FROM JAN 12 TO FEB 28th I ASKED HIM. I asked him for prices or status or anything and he would actually run away from me to “go to theater” I asked him if he wasnt or couldnt get pricing because he was busy with the play if he could text me the name of the bakery and Id do it myself... i already did everything else. HE DIDNT EVEN DO THIS. 

so we come to the rest of the week. I skip my own lunch to go and track him down at his study period that we used to have together eand tell him me have less than 2 weeks to order the buns and i beg and plead