#ivan truly is the good boy of the competition

[sakuraluck]

no, but like even though i’m both anticipating and dreading ivan vs till, i’m also very excited to see either of them face off luka because that man is insane?? he’s so sleazy and manipulative and you can just tell he’s gonna dig under their skin

[etherealxgenie]

Why Adrien is Better off Gay/Bi/Pan || Miraculous, Why?

(Before I begin, note that this is my opinion over the topic and am no way am bashing anyone’s love for the ship and/or character. I respect who and what you like, therefore expect the same courtesy. However, if this is something you cannot handle, please click the back button as this will be a heavily discussed topic. No flames allowed. Other than that, enjoy.)

I’m afraid I have to address the elephant in the room. Of how the hetero pairings for Adrien are about as real as Twilight. Sometimes it makes me wonder if Thomas Astruc looked at the ships in the end of Naruto and though… makes sense? That’s a long shot convo for another day.

I’m going to take the time in this chat to discuss why each female who has an interest in Adrien has no chance of having a healthy relationship with him and to why male characters have better chances! Let’s look at the girls one by once.

Lila: Let’s start with the obvious. Lila is clearly not interested in Adrien for his personality, but merely for the good looks and fame. She really hasn’t demonstrated any behavior that she cares for him genuinely and hangs off of him constantly as a possession. It’s clear Lila sets her eyes on Adrien because he’s famous, popular and wants him as a trophy husband. Lila is pretty toxic on her own to go so far as to sneak in and stalk Adrien. What’s worse is that she now has Gabriel’s permission to do so. If he were to be paired with Lila, it’ll break him and be nothing but hell.

Chloe: While it shows itself that Adrien has only platonic feelings for Chloe, she still hopes for something more. Adrien cares deeply for Chloe because he was her first friend, though it’s obvious Chloe wants more. Though Chloe has a mean streak and a possessive behavior where she tends to be cruel to people aside from Adrien and expects to get away with it every time. With the behavior she gets from being spoiled and trying to live up to her mother, would it be farfetched to say a future marriage between these two would be like Audrey/Andre? I don’t think so. Plus, she forgets his birthday. What kind of friend does that?

Kagami: Not going to lie, out of all the pairs, Kagami does have the most potential to be paired with Adrien. She meets him through fencing, they get time to know each other and they slowly start to grow as friend. However, that just about ends when it comes to such as Kagami is another girl who takes it a step too far. Like Chloe, Kagami follows too much in her mother’s footsteps and also is overly aggressive and competitive. She looks to quickly claim Adrien because they’re ‘perfect’, which is a word Adrien hates a lot under his façade. She’s gets possessive around other girls near Adrien and moves too quickly, also forcing Adrien to make his decisions as if he doesn’t have the time to decide.

And last…

Marinette: Marinette… in a way is a small combination of the girls combine. No doubt she’s sweet, shy and tries help at times when matters. BUT she’s also obsessive, possessive, and hypocritical. Things a potential yandere usually becomes. She invades Adrien’s privacy, stalks him, and steals from him more so than Lila. She doesn’t mind crossing boundaries as far as doing illegal acts such as breaking into his locker, copying his schedule? How even. She also tried to confess to Adrien on the day his mother disappeared/died which is a time for MOURNING and COMFORT! She also has no problems calling other people out on this behavior, yet she does the same things. Hypocrisy is never a good color to wear.

Not to mention she only is ‘in love’ with one side of him. As Ladybug, which is important, she tends to put him down as Chat Noir, doesn’t give him proper respect in public and doesn’t include him with important matters, especially with Master Fu. She treats him as his sidekick rather than his partner and leaves him in the dark. She thinks of herself as Batman and him Robin. If you read the comics or watch some of DC shows, you know how well THAT goes. Marinette cannot love Adrien without loving and respecting him as Adrien AND Chat.

Granted, she’s not the only girl who treats Chat badly, but she is supposed to be his ‘partner’ so… yeah.

For these girls it wouldn’t make sense. Not to mention at least once, the girls tend to make Adrien uncomfortable holding him on his arm and such. They don’t act like they care of Adrien’s well being at all (except for Kagami sometimes), but make him to be some prized to be won. Forced shipping is toxic shipping.

I can gladly blame the poor writing on the show, but pretty much it did it’s damage enough for me to say I cannot or will not romantically ship these girls with Adrien. If there were potential girls, girls like Rose, Juleka heck even Alix, but it’s safe to say that’s out of the question.

You know who DOES have the more potential, though? The boys.

Yes. As we take a chance to look at the friends he bonds with, its easy to say Adrien is more comfortable around the guys. The party before it was crashed, the video game tournament, these are just a few that aren’t shown often but do show more of Adrien’s comfort level. What guys you ask?

A perfect example for a ‘friends to lover’ romance would be Nino for example. He starts off subtly and gets to know Adrien from the start, not showing any animosity after the misunderstanding with Adrien and his childhood friend, Marinette. Nino also goes through lengths to help Adrien as far as to stand up to Gabriel to give Adrien a friggin’ birthday party! And got akumatized for it. Adrien also shows to go through the same lengths to help Nino hook up with Marinette so far as to set him up alone in the zoo. Nino is sweet, caring and he works well with Chat.

Another potential love interest (my personal OTP), Luka. From the get-go of how they met from a trip accident, Luka greets Adrien with kindness and welcomes him to the group in Captain Hardrock. In ‘Desperada’, that same friendliness still holds as Luka trust Adrien with his guitar, his most prize possession. Luka also does his best to keep Adrien safe and hidden away as Adrien returns the favor to save Luka from getting hit. Don’t push me about the locker scene because there are MULTITUDINOUS ways of how I can make so many ‘In the closet’ references. Also, that wink Chat gave, and the look Luka had? Need I say more? Good. And let’s not forget the icing on the cake and keep in mind to remember:

Adrien chose Luka to wield the Snake miraculous. ADRIEN, not ladybug, chose LUKA. Not to mention the fact, as Viperion, he was eager to work with Chat the moment they met and has nothing but good working with him as a teammate. That’s a bonus.

Many fans of the show try to depict them as rivals for Marinette, but only Luka shows that interest in which Marinette doesn’t really accept because of her obsession with Adrien. To make Adrien ‘jealous’ is really out of character, but another topic I’ll cover.

Truthfully, it would be an interesting twist of all the girls pushed up against Adrien, he would turn around and go for the cute guitarist or starts talking about how cute the guy is! Tell me that Degrassi twist wouldn’t add some good drama.

Overall, the show demonstrates so far that most of the girls for Adrien doesn’t really possess healthy qualities for Adrien to have a good future. The boys give him a more comfortable understanding a gentle nature for a kid like Adrien. You could pair him up with Ivan or Max and Adrien would STILL have more chemistry than them. Note that he’s sheltered, and we have no clue off what other mannerism he was raised on or how truly strict Gabriel and Nathalie are. Hell, we don’t even know how it was like when Emilie was even around.

But for any relationship to work, friendship before romance. Slow but steady at the pace both parties can go. People including Adrien, need that.

[orsuliya]

Since you do such detailed asks and give a well thought out answers, I want to know your opinion on the Ma brothers. Zilong, Zilu and Zitan. What do you think about them?

Ah, our three intrepid Ma princes... Wait a minute, why three? It's not like we're in a fairytale and while Zitan is certainly a fool, he's not nearly good-hearted enough to play the role of Ivan the Fool.

But seriously, it seems mightily suspicious of Daddy Emperor to sire three sons in quick succession and then, as far as we know, never ever procreate again. He's an Emperor and obviously fertile, so how come the imperial nursery remains so glaringly empty? Could it be that he has no concubines at all except for his beloved Xie Guifei?

Or... has the Empress been aborting babies left and right, and poisoning her way through swathes of women to boot? Not impossible, knowing her temperament, but it doesn't really make sense within the dynamic presented in the drama. Drama!Emperor hates, hates, hates the Wangs and especially his wife, so it's hard to believe he wouldn't have used this juicy tidbit to weaken their influence. In the book Wanru is allowed to run roughshod over Potato's concubines and feed them contraceptives willy-nilly, but that's because Potato doesn't really care. The Emperor, as we see him in the drama, would have found reason enough to care upon being given such an obvious opening to start a smear campaign against his favourite enemy. Stymying the imperial bloodline?! Why, I think it might be a crime and easily provable one at that!

This leaves the other option - perhaps there aren't any concubines in the palace or, if there are, they're not being, pardon my French, bred. It's not that multiple imperial concubines of lower rank aren't a thing in this universe - Potato gets at least two and possibly more after sitting on the throne for a relatively short time. It's a pity we don't know what's the policy on entering the palace. Is there a multi-stage selection process? There is certainly no indication of that! Xie Guifei might have been an attempt to balance out a Wang Empress, Seagull was Zitan's impromptu choice, Miss Screecher was meant to be chosen by Potato outside of any organized selection and the same could be true for Potato's other concubines. Our only outlier might be Zilu's Mom and even then it's rather doubtful she was ever processed properly as it would have required a lot of effort and luck to conceal an already existing pregnancy. No, Zilu's Mom was most probably a gift of 'peace' from one brother to another.

My guess as to what Daddy Emperor is thinking? If Zitan has been his preferred heir from the start and he very well might have been since it never had anything to do with Zitan's actual qualities, then it's possible that he simply didn't protest - or did so in a purely symbolic manner - when the Wangs started limiting his reproductive chances. Why breed competition? We already know he has no use for any sons lacking powerful backing of their maternal clans, see: his treatment of Zilu. And any son with such backing would be a direct threat to his favourite, not to mention a potential upset to the carefully maitained Wang-Ma-Xie balance.

...or it could be that Daddy Emperor really loved Xie Guifei and wanted no other. Seeing as he's strongly implied to spend his nights in her chambers twenty years after their only and last kid was born, this would make a staggering amount of sense. The same principle applies - he'd still not protest Wang tyranny over the inner courts, only he'd do it for Xie Guifei and not for Zitan. It does seem to fit with Daddy Emperor's general mindset. Let the others do open battle and exert all that effort, he'll just sit there, look sage and reap the benefits!

After this rather senseless and overly long prelude, let's finally get to answering your question. Mind you, those are not going to be organized, thoughtful opinions, just my subjective impressions on each and every Ma Prince.

His Imperial Spudness Ma Zilong

The not-so-little Potato that could not, but still tried! Let's start with the elephant in the room, namely his rapist tendencies or the lack thereof. See, I'm convinced that raping Awu wasn't actually in the cards, at least as far as Potato was concerned. Compromising her, sure, just lure her into an emptied palace and cry wolf. Outright raping her, no, if only because Potato is way, way too weak and soft to execute a plan this ruthless in its entirety. Besides, harming Awu to this extent would be risky as all hell and sure to provoke authentic wrath in both Daddy Emperor and Daddy Wang. The Empress is not stupid enough to give her husband the perfect excuse to do away with her son nor to alienate her main supporter in the same move. Even if she was able to force a marriage in the first place, Potato would be pretty much done for politically unless both Daddies suddenly dropped dead. The most she would be able to get would be a grandson in a privileged position, so she'd be back to square one, only with one more female to share power with. No, what Potato did and what Wanru suffered was mostly courtesy of Zilu's suspicious drugs. Not to say Potato isn't a rapist all the same, but I'd argue for diminished capacity.

As for Potato himself in his shining spuddy glory, I truly pity the man. From time to time we see glimpses of the ruler he could have become and whom he still tries to be, and it becomes clear that there was something there worth cultivating. The problem is that nobody could be bothered to even try. Daddy Emperor certainly didn't, leaving Potato pretty much to his own devices and believe me, it had nothing to do with his talents or the lack thereof. Do you remember that lovely family scene at the beginning of episode 1.? You know, the one where Awu, Zilu and Zitan lure Zilong into a trap and then leave him there to lie amidst icy rocks in the middle of winter? He could have easily hit his head and died right then and there. Or get pneumonia and die a little bit later. Does the Emperor care? No, not at all! Baby!Awu isn't that good of a liar, but even if she was, perhaps it would behoove him to actually investigate. Not from any kind of fatherly feeling, let's not expect miracles, but perhaps from political expediency? Yeah, no. And I doubt that was the only incident of this kind. Potato must have known even this early on that his father doesn't care for him, not even like an Emperor should for his eldest male scion. Moreover, there is no way Mommy Dearest wouldn't harp on about the Emperor's negligence in private, further affirming this awful truth in Potato's mind.

Mommy Dearest might care, but her care is no less toxic than Daddy Emperor's open negligence. Potato is her key to power, her only way to win the game of thrones and make all her sacrifices worthwhile... and this is exactly how she treats him. Oh, she loves him well enough as her son, clings to him in his role as Crown Prince and then Emperor, but she doesn't actually like him as a person. And oh boy, does it show! I get it, he's not this perfect shining prince that would justify her long years of suffering, but then I have this feeling she gave up on him the moment he showed himself to be perfectly average. Sure, she offers him (toxic) love and (conditional) support like nobody's business, but there's always this nasty undertone in their relationship. Mommy knows best, don't even try to think on your own, listen to me and only me. It's no wonder that Potato thinks he's perfectly useless and doesn't bother to try and better himself, if he knows that even his own mother sees him as a perfect nincompoop. Uncle Wang's open derision isn't helpful either!

And yet Potato is, deep down, a decent enough man. Better than the average Ma, I'd say. I mean, he has some scruples! They might be really, really tiny, but they're there, even as he's being subjected to a barrage of mental attacks from both his mother and his wife. Why, given proper support and a competent cabinet, he'd make a somewhat ineffective, but decent enough ruler, his handling of the flood crisis shows us this much. Potato's best quality is that he really tries. Oh, he fails, but he's no Zitan, content to sit in his room and mope while the country goes to hell. When it's important, he can make actual decisions! Which he may then go back on (or not), but it still counts. Also, he's not petty. Like, at all. He'd like nothing better than for everybody to get along and have lots and lots of plump babies. Even his decision to do away with Xiao Qi is not motivated by jealousy, no matter how hard Wanru and Mommy Dearest keep pressing on that particular button.

Is he childish? Yes. But then, he's never been given any real responsibility and for years and years languished under the care of a helicopter parent who never forced him to man up nor face actual reality, hence his disillusionment with Wanru, once she stops being this perfect smiling automaton. Is he selfish? Oh yes and it shows nowhere better than in his last will. But even so, such selfishness is pretty much par for the course when it comes to the Mas and at least Potato didn't wreck a country for the sake of personal spite, which puts him way ahead of his father, uncle Jianning and bro Zitan. And perhaps even cousin Zilu, who cared less for the country than for Huanmi.

At the end of the day, our humble root vegetable is a tragic figure. I can't help but pity him every time we see him bloom under somebody's attention. Give that man some respect and he'll pay you back with the same, weird comments about killing you nothwithstanding. And he did give us Miracle Baby, Our Lord and Saviour!

Our beloved Groomzilla, Ma Zilu

Daddy Emperor must have been stupid, high, blind or all of those in order to let Zilu and his beautiful brain slip through his fingers. He was right there, that defenseless, motherless boy and ripe for the taking too! If after years and years of being neglected and treated as an afterthought, after suffering an obvious slight of losing his love on Daddy Wang's say-so, after being allowed to supposedly run wild with no attempt at parental intervention... If after all this Zilu still craved his father's approval in whatever form he could get it, craved it so much that he allowed himself to be led into an obvious trap, then what kind of loyalty might he have offered, had somebody bothered to nurture him properly?

And it's not like his talents were easy to sweep under the rug. It's not until after he's an adult that Zilu takes up the pretense of being a never-do-well; during his adolescence he was still giving it his all, hoping in vain that his father might notice and offer him some sweet, sweet parental validation. Alas. The lack of powerful backing from his maternal family is an obstacle, but not if one actively tries to fight against consort kin clans and their influence. Or is it only the Wangs who are the enemy? Must be so, otherwise why the hell would one not see Zilu's relative independence as his greatest asset? You don't even have to make him Crown Prince to use him; just instill some sense of pride and validation, feed his need for attention and put him behind Zitan's throne. Okay, maybe don't do that last thing, deadly brotherly competition being a whole thing in palace environments, but still, use him! But no, Huanmi remained the only person to actually see and appreciate Zilu for what he was. Is it any wonder he was so absolutely loyal to her that even when it looked like she had attacked him with lethal intent, he still cared about her safety most of all?

And is it any wonder that he expedited his considerable will and brainpower solely for her benefit? I was absolutely floored when I realized that becoming an Emperor wasn't actually his ultimate goal - marrying Huanmi in the biggest, reddest wedding possible was! Even if he needed to drag the more august guests in at swordpoint. Not to say he didn't want to take the throne for his own sake; he absolutely did, but only as far as it served as a big fat fuck you to every person who kept dismissing him out of hand, so basically every person other than Huanmi. Taking the crown was a power fantasy, an idee-fixe of sorts, but for all that keeping a throne in one's basement can be seen as somewhat peculiar, there are very few - if any - signs of actual delusion in Zilu's actions. The throne is not a goal in itself, merely a way to achieve his primary goal, which is to marry the woman he loves, take revenge for Huanmi's sake as much as his own and build a life worthy of her. She's his Empress and by gods, she's going to be the real deal soon enough, no more cosplaying in private villas, however nice it might be!

Ma Zitan, the one and only Master of Mope

With every Ma Prince I become more and more convinced that there was something seriously wrong with Daddy Emperor's brain. Neglecting Potato makes some sense within the greater political picture, letting Zilu lie fallow is the height of foolishness, yet it's more a matter of criminal inaction than actively doing something wrong, but Zitan? Oh, there is no excuse for the way Daddy Emperor chose to deal with Zitan. If the Third Prince was truly his intended heir from the start and there is little reason to believe otherwise - if Wangs are to go then Potato is done for, Zilu was never even considered and Zitan remains the favourite long after showing his complete uselessness - why not try to prepare him for his future role? True, doing so openly might provoke the Wangs, but it's not like there aren't any ways to present such ruler lessons as something else, even a punishment. But no, let's just hope he turns out okay all by himself!

Now, logically reasoning, if Zitan was Daddy Emperor’s favourite and the prince he originally wanted as his heir, then Zitan should be given all possible help, right? So why wasn’t he taught any actual skills, whether in governance or in military matters? The thing is… they might have tried. In episode 61, when Zitan asks his faithful pair of retainers if he would be able to best Xiao Qi, their first answer is not that he’s the Emperor so it’s a given. Well, that too, but the first, immediate response? You studied the art of war. Which, okay, might be a reasonable guess when it comes to any prince, but those retainers are rather young and only recently-promoted. Before their soujourn at the Imperial Mausoleum they probably served somewhere within the wider imperial household, but not close enough to any great personage to be knowledgeable about what the princes might or might not have studied. Also, that answer, should Zitan’s lessons be limited to his early childhood, would make them look like idiots or bootlickers of the worst sort. But let’s say that Zitan actually studied the art of war and did so longer than his brothers. Or, alternatively, with more famous masters. That would naturally be a subject of some talk, if only within the imperial household itself. If so, then the female retainer, who seems rather astute in general, gave the best answer she could give.

Okay, so maybe somebody actually tried to help Zitan along. It still failed. Zitan at twenty or so is singularily useless and strangely unambitious, and no, calligraphy doesn't count as useful, not if one is an imperial prince and Emperor-to-be!

It's not Zitan's uselessness or even his refusal to feel any kind of reponsibility for his own people (as shown in the Huizhou arc) I have the most issue with. Although the latter is simply disgusting. And... really, really short-sighted. If Huizhou falls, as it surely must, Jianning and Co. get a clear way to the capital, leaving Xiao Qi to play deadly catch-up. Which means that Zitan's family is pretty much done for. Now, he might not care about Potato and Zilu, but surely he should feel something towards his father? Some filial piety, if not actual love? But no, screw the people of Huizhou and screw Daddy Emperor. Still, does he think that Jianning wouldn't pursue him to the ends of the earth in order to eradicate a potential claimant?

No, what really angers me is the way Zitan treats the women he claims to hold dear. And I'm not even speaking of Awu, although it's rather obvious that he cares little for her internality and rather more than is healthy for his idealized image of her. Xie Guifei dies for him, which is not his fault in the least... or is it? See, I'm pretty sure that Zitan's insistence on marrying Awu despite his mother's reservations was what provoked the Wangs to take certain... steps. Provoking a power struggle is all fine and good, if you're at least somewhat prepared for the consequences. Zitan is no fifteen year old well-bred young lady, he's an imperial prince right in the middle of a delicate balance of power, how the hell does he not know or care about possible ramifications? Naivety is theoretically not a crime, but that surely is criminal naivety. Which begs the question - how hard was that boy coddled by his mother? My guess is a lot. But Xie Guifei is but a trifle compared to the elephant in the room.

Xie Wanru. Xie Wanru, who supported Zitan as much as she could while being in a precarious situation herself. And whom he had no problems with asking for further support, going as far as to aim for the throne, disregarding her own and her children's potential interests. Xie Wanru, who didn't make the first move, even knowing Zitan to be a potential threat to her and hers. Xie Wanru, whose baby got a full portion of avuncular love in form of actual torture and was lucky to get away with his life. Xie Wanru, his sister, whose ghost must have screeched with fury upon hearing Zitan laud himself as this paragon of brotherly feelings in comparison to the well-intentioned Turnip.

Oh, and he just sat there like an offended child while the country kept sliding into chaos, simply because some evil old men didn't let him kill Cheng's entire army with his sheer incompetence. Those dastardly old bastards! Let them scramble around and let the people in the provinces keep dying; they all deserve this for not recognizing Zitan's awesomeness! I'm not saying he should have fixed everything. I'm saying he should have done the bare minimum. He killed a brother for that throne, now he should actually do something with it. Other than purposefully provoking the only guy who actually restored peace and stability simply because the man happens to be married to Zitan's first love.

I'm sorry, I cannot with Zitan. There's a lot more to be said about that twerp, much of which has already been said, but at this point refraining from plowing on it's a matter of mental hygiene.

[emikochan]

I know I requested sth yesterday and I apologize for bothering you. Actually... *coughs awkwardly* I would like to make another request another time ofc if that’s alright so... Do you have any headcanons or maybe a scenario about married Russia with his partner and even their children??So basically marriage and parent headcanons and/or scenario. Thanks once again and I understand it if you can’t/don’t want to write about it. Have a good day（╹◡╹）

Jeez, did I write too much this time? Haha, maybe I got a little too carried away with this request! Enjoy🌸 PS: It's absolutely no problem, love! You guys are allowed to request and ask as much as you like🌸

~~~~~~~

Husband!Russia headcanons:

• a caring husband

• "You're tired, sunflower? I'll call in sick for you; don't go to work and stay home, da?"

• showers you with food, that he made himself

• brings home neat gimmicks that's supposed to make finishing chores easier, like a robot vacuum cleaner.

• he got servants to clean his place up but he wants to show you that he cares about them and wants to make their work easier.

• couldn't be more happy than now. He finally found a person that truly loves him and he can finally settle down with the peaceful life he yearned for for centuries.

• there will be a little field of sunflowers in your shared garden. No questions asked.

• walking with you through it is one of his favourite things to do

• once he lost you in there and almost had an anxiety attack

• abandonment issues hit him all over again.

• he loves sunflowers with all his heart but he was ready to thrash every single one in his way to find you, fortunately you found him just in time to stop him.

• would never, EVER strike you.

• you inspire him to be a better person

• when that one guy hit on you, he was ready to whack this dude's head with his pipe; but you once taught him that violence is rarely ever the answer and he found his own way to tell the guy off without bashing his brain in.

• tries to be the best husband, honestly. He's still very insecure about himself and constantly fears that he'll do or say something that ends up scaring you away.

• learns how to handle himself better by following your examples

~~~

Father!Russia Headcanons:

• dedicated father that surprisingly doesn't spoil his children rotten

• having experienced poverty in his own childhood, his first instinct was to spoil his kids but he knows that this would do them more harm than anything else.

• he wants for his children to be gentle and sincerely good people someday

• encourages them to do sports or other competitive activities, where they can learn ambition and have to work in order to succeed.

• just because you guys are rich doesn't mean that his kids should grow up thinking that their parent's money are enough to live with.

• takes them to charity events

• helping others is a thing in your family, that you often do together wether it may be handing out food or blankets to the homeless at christmas in Moscow or cleaning up a park.

• Ivan thinks that's good for his kid's character

• sometimes has Toris or Eduard watch over his darlings when he's going out with you

~~~~~~~~~

❄️Little scenario because I felt like it❄️

"Alex, would you like popcorn or chips?", you asked the little boy that inherited Ivan's hair.

The little one was conflicted, with the wheels in his head visibly turning. He bit his lip in deep thought as he looked up to read the sign with the prices over and over again in hopes to decide very soon what he actually wanted.

"They both sound good..." he concluded. "Can't I have both?"

"You know that would be too much sugar, Alexander", Ivan responded and layed a hand on his son's head. Though he must admit that this day was kinda special and that the two siblings were really really good when it came to eating healthy food during the last weeks...

"You know what we're gonna do?", chirped his daughter. "Mama and I are gonna share some popcorn and you two get some chips."

A mischievous spark flashed in little Katinas eyes as she looked over to Alex and he nodded in agreement.

Did they honestly think Ivan would fall for that? Obviously the siblings each get chips and popcorn and use the dark of the cinema to secretly trade the snacks between each other, so that they had both at the same time. Clever little six year-olds.

Before Ivan could kindly expose their little plan his wife spoke up.

"That sounds like a pretty good idea, let's do this!"

While the kids cheered and ran to line up at the register you raised an eyebrow at Ivan and took his large hand into yours.

"We got to spoil them once in a while, honey. They've been so good during the past weeks" you said and he let out a content sigh.

"When they suffer from a sugar rush, it's your problem to deal with." he joked and you giggled as you joined the kids in line, waiting to begin a wonderful evening

[flutteringphalanges]

                                               Mirabile Visu

Summary: Sister Agatha Van Helsing discovers she’s in over her head when a competitive game of chess ultimately results in her becoming pregnant with the child of her worst enemy, Count Dracula. Now tied by a bond deeper than blood, the two must learn to coexist and adapt in a world that could be potentially hostile towards their offspring. Parenthood has never looked so batty.

Characters: Dracula/Agatha Van Helsing

Chapter: 15/15 COMPLETE

Read on FFN and AO3

A/N It’s finally COMPLETE! My very first Dracula story is finished! Thank you guys for this journey! Thank you all! If you have the time, even if you haven’t before I’d love one last comment! It’d mean so much to know your final thoughts! I hope you stick around for my other works! Love you guys! -Jen

                                             Epilogue 

                                      Transylvania, Romania

                                         Three Years Later

"Down, Mummy, down! I want to see the castle!"

The dark haired, cherub faced little boy struggled in his mother's grasp. Agatha held him steady as the car door slammed shut behind her. She didn't need to turn to know who was approaching from behind, the sound of earth and stone crunching beneath their feet. Dracula joined his wife's side, placing a hand on her lower back as he gazed up at the place he once so long ago called home. Sorina too stood close, fingers intertwined with those belonging to Jack. A distant memory. Had a century really passed?

"Now, Ivan, I don't want you running off and getting hurt." Agatha scolded as the boy finally broke free. "I want you to stay where I can see you."

"To the top!" Ivan gestured, pointing at the tallest balcony. "Riri, to the top!"

Riri. A nickname Ivan had come up with early on when he struggled to say "Sorina". It was cute to say the least and his sister didn't mind it at all. Looking to her parents for confirmation, she smiled and took his chubby hand. His eyes were bright, dark like her father's. From the beginning, Agatha was instant that he was the spitting image of Dracula. Whether that would turn out to be a good thing or a bad thing, only time would tell.

"Alright, Iv, but watch your step. Hold onto me." His sister instructed as they made their way to the stone fortress. "Don't let go of my hand."

"Hold onto me, Sorina. Don't let go of my hand."

The young girl's eyes met those of her father as she took wobbly steps towards the spiral staircase. She'd just learn to walk and while she had taken to doing so quickly, she was still rather unstable in some aspects. Her mother watched from nearby, clearly nervous that her husband had insisted on teaching the toddler how to walk up to such a height.

"I don't want her getting hurt." Agatha said, arms cross over her chest. There was uncertainty in her tone. "Be easy with her, Dracula."

"I am, I am." The vampire huffed before returning his attention to little Sorina. "Nice big steps. Good girl. Look at you go!"

"Look at you go!"

Ivan clambered up the stone slabs so quickly, he almost slipped away from his sister's grasp. Almost. As they reached the second floor, a wave of nostalgia struck Sorina right in her very chest. After decades and decades, she recognized this very hallway so well. Inhaling deeply, she led Ivan alongside her towards a room. Her room. Placing her free hand on the door, she pushed it open.

"Good stacking. Can you tell me what this letter is?"

It had been a set of wooden alphabet blocks that Dracula had come across. They were delicately painted and had become one of the former nun's favorite toys their daughter owned. Educational. Just how she liked it. Sorina picked up the block in question and studied it.

"A." She finally settled upon.

"That's right!" Agatha beamed proudly. "And what about this one? It's a hard one, pay attention to its shape."

The toddler's brow knitted in concentration. "U!"

"Nicely done, Sorina," her mother clapped in excitement. "What a clever, smart girl you are!"

"Can I keep it?"

The halfling was snapped from her thoughts at the sound of her brother's voice. Gazing down, she saw him cradling a worn, nearly decayed piece of wood in his hands. As she squinted, studying it closer, she realized what it was. Block U. She inhaled, her lips curving into a small smile.

"Of course," she agreed. "It's yours."

Ivan grinned and happily-awkwardly-tried to stuff the object into his pocket. It hung out haphazardly, but the boy didn't seem to care. Holding onto his sister, they continued onto their path towards the balcony he so desired to see. A place that even Sorina had yet to truly appreciate.

                                                     XXX

"Count Dracula, could I maybe talk to you for a second?"

There was great hesitation in the man's voice as the vampire turned to look at him. When the doctor still held his ground, Dracula sighed. He hadn't even wanted the human to come along, but Sorina insisted. If Jack didn't go, then neither would she. Agatha gave Jack a knowing look, smiling softly as she excused herself. Now the two stood alone.

"What is it, Dr. Seward?" He questioned, sounding completely uninterested.

"I'd like to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage." That woke the Count up. Before the vampire could snap back, Jack continued. "Even if you say no, I'm still going to do it. I just wanted to ask out of courtesy. I love Sorina. More than anything. And I attend to for the rest of my life...forever how long that will be…" He paused."So I hope you'll say yes for her sake. Because I know more than anything she'd want your blessing. But I'm going to ask her no matter what." He inhaled deeply, still utterly terrified. "Whatever you say, that's-"

"Yes."

Jack blinked. And blinked again. Had he heard him right? "Yes…" He ventured, still very unsure if Dracula had realized what he agreed to.

"I'll never like you, Jack. As much as you may try, I won't. I don't think you are a bad man. But no one will ever be good enough for Sorina," he paused. "But I believe you might be the next best thing. But if you ever hurt her. I swear, I will make you suffer in ways you didn't think possible." Dracula's eyes darkened, but he showed no signs of acting in physical malice. "You have my blessing to marry my child. For her sake, not for yours."

That had gone completely better than Jack could have ever anticipated. He grinned widely at Dracula who didn't return the expression. Feeling the box in his pocket, he quickly turned away and headed towards the castle before the vampire could change his mind. From behind, Agatha approached and touched his arm.

"I'm proud of you." She smiled, meeting his gaze. "That was very mature."

"You knew?!" He pulled away in surprise, almost offended by her words. "Why didn't you…"

"A mother always knows." Agatha explained, reaching out for his hand. "Come, let's take a stroll through the grounds. I never really had the chance when I stayed here so long ago…"

                                                           XXX

"You can't find me!" Sorina chirped out from her hiding spot. She never really understood the game of hide-and-go seek. "Come find me, Mama! Find me, Papa!"

The sound of nearby footsteps caused the little girl to giggle. Sorina pressed her small hands to her mouth, trying to suppress the sound. They were calling her name. Almost as if they were singing the words. Both Dracula and Agatha knew very well where she was. It wasn't hard to find a three year old squeezed behind a door. Just as she was about to give up, a pair of arms snatched her up. Dracula playfully growled as he tossed her lightly in the air, Sorina squealing in delight.

"You found me!" She declared. "You found me! You found me!"

"I'll always find you." The Count promised, pressing a kiss to her temple as Agatha made her way over smiling. "No matter where you are. We'll always find you."

"Promise?" The little girl said looking into his eyes. "Promise, Papa?"

"Promise, Micul mea liliac," Dracula murmured. "Always."

"I found it! I found it!" Ivan exclaimed, pulling his sister towards a large set of heavy doors. "The spot! The spot!" He turned to her, his brown eyes glistening in excitement. "Open, Riri! Oh, please open it!"

Just as she grabbed the brass door handles, she heard the sound of hurried footsteps from behind. Jack was bounding towards them completely and utterly out of breath. She smiled, taking a step back from the doors causing her brother to frown in disappointment.

"Riri…"

"Jack," she began. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes," he smiled. "Yes everything is fine. Just perfect! I…" His attention landed on Ivan who was scowling deeply. Clearly he had interrupted something and the toddler was not pleased. "Were you two about to do something."

"The doors," Ivan answered, pointing at the entrance. "The top!"

Sorina threw her boyfriend a smirk as she pushed back allowing the bright light from the sun to flood in. As Ivan tried to run out, she grabbed him by his wrist. He struggled in protest, but she didn't let go. Together, the three of them stepped outside into the warmth.

"Up!" Ivan gasped, looking to his sister. "Riri, up!"

Giving into his demands, Sorina lifted her brother so he could take in the view. Endless trees that seemed to stretch as far as the eye could see. There was a creek that fed through the stone, worn down by its constant flow. It was beautiful. A sight she never thought she'd see, even in her dreams.

"Breathtaking," she exhaled.

"Yeah, it is." But Jack wasn't focused on the scenery. "Sorina...I want to ask you something."

Sorina. That was odd. Jack never called her anything but Sunny. Letting Ivan down, who immediately gripped onto her pants' leg, she turned to face her boyfriend. Should she be concerned? She felt a little uneasy. He sure looked to be himself.

"Listen, I've never been good with words. You know that." He swallowed hard, trying to moisten his incredibly dry mouth. "But these past years with you, especially these past three have made me realize something."

"Go on…" The halfling said slowly, a hand resting on Ivan's head.

"You're the most beautiful, talented, smart, different-" he quickly added. "...in the best way possible, woman I've ever met. And if you'd allow me to…" His fingers shook as he began to dig around in his pocket for the box. Oh Christ, where had it gone?!

"I think you dropped this."

Jack spun around to see both Agatha and Dracula in the threshold. In the vampire's outstretched palm was the tiny, black velvet box. Ivan hurried to his mother's awaiting arms as Dracula tossed the object into Jack's hands. Sorina's heart began to pound as the doctor dropped onto one knee.

"Sunny," he said softly. "Will you marry me?"

There wasn't a single pause. Not a second before Sorina leaped towards Jack, wrapping her arms around his neck. He stumbled back a little, but caught himself in time. She smiled at him, tears brimming in her blue eyes.

"Yes." She beamed. "Yes, of course I'll marry you!"

As the newly engaged couple's lips met, Dracula and Agatha stared upwards towards the sun. At its bright, ever glowing glory. How interesting life truly was. What had brought them together. Where they stood now. The former nun rested her head on the vampire's shoulder. Even after all of this time, in the end, things were finally right.

[dandelionflower]

Felix Month

Day 9: Tragic

It was tragic, really.

Lila Rossi lost the baking competition against Marinette. She revealed her lies, as per their agreement, and the class fell apart.

Truly tragic.

Alya was in denial, typing furiously on her phone, trying desperately to find some truth. She was fact checking everything. Too late.

Nino was in shock. He sat, rigid stiff, staring at Lila and the rest of the class. He stared at Alya, who had trusted Lila the most, who pushed him to believe her as well, and he moved ever so slightly away from his girlfriend. Their relationship would need to be rebuilt from scratch after this massive betrayal.

Rose was on the phone, crying to Prince Ali, apologizing over and over for not believing him. Rose was always far too trusting. Just not to the people who mattered.

Juleka patted her shoulder, silent as always. There was something in her eyes, though. Something that wanted to scream.

Mylene was weeping, immediately after the news had stuck, she had ran to Marinette, apologizing. She hugged her and apologized again. She was the first one.

Ivan was struggling with an enraged Alix, but he seemed to be fighting himself too. His eyes never left Mylene.

Alix was clawing and fighting her captor with every bone in her body. Odd, Felix didn’t remember her being lied to specifically.

Chloe was cackling. She was painting her nails. She would relish in watching the class regret siding with Lila. They should have stuck with her. Better an evil queen than a witch.

Sabrina sat close to Chloe, camera at the ready. She would be prepared to film the action when it occurred. For once, she benefited from following Chloe.

Nathaniel shrugged. He was never involved with Lila anyway. He was unaffected. He was one of the few.

Max was broken. He stared at a printed sheet of lies, scanning again and again. He was wrong. Anger flashed in his eyes as he glanced at the one who fooled him. Calculated became feral.

Kim was shaking Max, trying to do anything to wake him up. He even pulled out Markov, who claimed Lila had muted him once he started fact checking. They were unaffected, the only others.

Finally, Max leapt over the desk, hands bent like claws. Kim jumped after him, tackling the genius. “What are you doing!”

Alix took the opportunity to slip out of Ivan’s arms and skate up to Lila. “How dare you! You broke Max, Alya, Nino, even Juleka! You hurt Marinette!” She turned to her. “I’m sorry we didn’t believe you, we should have trusted you.”

Marinette looked up from where she was comforting Mylene. “I accept your apology, but it’s going to take some time for me to forgive you.”

Alix nodded, sitting next to her as Rose and Juleka came up and offered their apologies. Ivan was next, and then came Kim and Max, who had recovered from his momentary fury.

Soon, the only ones who hadn’t come up to apologize to Marinette were Alya, who was still trying to prove her wrong, Nino, who wouldn’t leave his girlfriend and best bro, Chloe, who doesn’t like apologizing and would probably just send a gift later, Sabrina, who apologized that morning, Lila, and Adrien, who sat by with a pitiful look in his eyes.

Felix came forward from his spot at the doorway. “Nette, why don’t you go out to Andre’s for some ice cream, to celebrate and recover.”

She grinned. “Sure! Come on guys!”

As she lead them off, one by one they each made eye contact with Felix. We won’t hurt her again.

Marinette’s head popped back in. “Chloe? Sabrina? You guys want to come?”

Chloe shook her head. “We would rather see whatever comes next.”

“Felix?”

He gave her a smile. “I’ll be there in a second. I have a few words to say.��

Confusion passed over her face, before she nodded and left, surely happy to be with her friends again.

Felix shut the door, turning to glare at the four. “You are all horrid, despicable people for not apologizing to Marinette after what you did.”

Lila burst into tears. “I’m so sorry! I can’t believe I did that! I-“

“Cut it out.” Felix fixed Lila with a look that could kill. “No one here is pitying you.”

Alya stared at Felix. “How dare you! Lila is clearly remorseful, let her apologize!”

“No one wants her apologies. Especially or Marinette. It’s you three that did wrong.”

“Marinette did wrong! She publicly humiliated Lila!”

“Would you rather she let Lila continue lying to you?”

“She wasn’t hurting anyone.”

“She was hurting Marinette! She threatened her in the bathroom and effectively turned the class against her and none of you were the wiser.”

“I knew.” Adrien stood up. “But this won’t help. It’s only hurting Lila. This is why I told Marinette not to expose Lila. She’s going to get akumatized now.”

Felix turned, not acknowledging Adriens foolish comment. “Did you get that?”

Sabrina nodded. “I can have it edited and ready for publishing by tomorrow.”

“Excellent.” He began to leave before stopping and staring at Nino. “I hope you think about what you’ve seen and ask for forgiveness soon. The other two don’t think they did anything wrong, I should hope you possess at least a tiny bit of remorse.”

Nino nodded, eyes hollow and contemplative.

“As for the rest of you, stay away from Marinette, she’s happy now and if you change that, I will end you.” With that threat, Felix left to join Marinette at the ice cream stand, a still cackling Chloe and giggling Sabrina following.

—————————

When Felix left the school, Marinette and her group of newly returned friends were standing outside waiting for him. Rose was standing in front, animatedly telling a story, Juleka standing close by, muttering minor corrections.

Marinette turned, “Felix! Felix’s here, guys. Let’s go to Andre’s.”

As they walked, Felix gravitated towards Marinette, not unlike the rest of the class. However, unlike with the class, she grabbed his arm and matched her step with his, immediately beginning to talk about her latest design. He smiled, Marinette always knew how to calm him down.

As they arrived at Andre’s they separated. Ivan and Mylene went first, greeting Andre and receiving a couples ice cream. As that was the only official couple, they all went alone after that.

Alix received a vanilla and coffee bean cone, “perfect for the solo athlete.”

Max received an orange, peach, and blackberry cone, “there’s someone out there for you yet, robotic intellect.”

Kim stepped up and got a strawberry, watermelon and blueberry cone. “It may be a time to change flavors.”

For Rose, vanilla. “I don’t need to know my soulmate! It’ll happen when it happens.”

Juleka, chocolate. “Same.”

Nathaniel received a myriad of flavors. “I don’t even know what this means…”

Then Felix stepped up. He hadn’t tried Andre’s ice cream before; however, he had his suspicions of what it would turn out to be.

“Blueberry for her eyes, blackberry for her raven hair, and rasberry for her favorite color!” Andre leaned forward as he gave Felix his cone, “I’m very sorry, but the object of your affections has her eyes on a mint eyed boy.”

“I’m well aware, thank you.” As he accepted the cone, he heard Marinette’s scoop combination.

“Ah! A new cone? Good, between you and me, the other’s combination was a bit toxic. Icy blueberry for his eyes, vanilla for his hair, and some caramel.”

“What’s the caramel for?”

“That’s a secret only they and I know.”

As Felix sat on the bench, he saw Marinette begin to walk over to him. A brief surge of panic course through him. What would he do about the ice cream? He quickly schooled himself back to his usual demeanor. Leave it to Marinette, she’s been through a lot, let it be her choice.

Marinette squeaked. Felix looked up to see her staring at his ice cream cone, then at hers, then to his again.

“How about we table this for another day?” He suggested. “You’ve had enough drama.”

She looked up at him and nodded, sliding next to him and resting on his shoulder. They ate their ice cream while Felix stared at the sunset and Marinette watched her peers talk and enjoy their ice cream.

The silence was soon interrupted, though, by the vibration of Marinette’s phone. She lifted it and grinned, angling it so Felix could see. “Look.”

Nino 🎧: sorry about the lila thing and not apologizing sooner

Nino 🎧: it was uncool of me

Felix grinned at her. “Looks like there’s still hope.”

His own phone rumbled. He lifted it and couldn’t help but smirk when he read the messages.

Happy: I can’t believe Alya and Adrien would do something like that!!!! 🥺😢😭

Purple: Nice job putting them in their place👍

Giant: Lila, Alya, and Adrien? How can anyone use the Ladyblog now?

Robot: I cannot say it was suprising to see Alya and Adrien’s reactions. Congratulations on lecturing them.

Jock: Alix and I are planning murder

Skater: I CANT BELIEVE IT!! ALYA I GET BUT ADRIEN!! IM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT HAPPENS TO HIM!!

Illustrator: did you see the video?

Henchgirl: Video edited and delivered

Horrid Blonde: I hope you don’t mind, but I had Sabrina add some aftermath to the vid

He allowed himself another glance at Marinette, who had started a conversation with Mylene, before replying. Turns out a little tragedy wasn’t so bad.

[icedanceupstarts]

NHK Trophy 2019 Preview

Somehow it’s already the final week? Time flies when you’re begging scores to make sense.

Carolane SOUCISSE / Shane FIRUS CAN

Age: 24/25

Started Skating Together: 2016

Coach: Marie-France Dubreuil, Patrice Lauzon, Romain Haguenauer

Season's Best: 181.39

Rhythm Dance: Jersey Boys

Free Dance: Tom Jones Medley

At their first Grand Prix in France, this gravity loving team managed the feat of remaining upright throughout both programs, which made us very proud. This time we're hoping they take the next step and stay on their feet while also getting their levels. They've consistently missed their keypoints on the Finnstep and it's killing us. Their programs are charming and well suited to their strengths, they've got some great elements, they're great skaters, but they haven't been getting the kind of GOE they would need to make up for their low levels. They're still very much in the battle for the National bronze, but they need to get stay upright and get levels that aren't hot garbage, all while displaying the performance quality that first captured the judges attention two years ago. They're more mature and versatile performers than they're generally given credit for, but now they need to bring the confidence. They’ve got a chance to close out their GP season on a very high note which could be exactly the momentum they need headed into nationals.

 Shiyue WANG / Xinyu LIU CHN

Age: 25/25

Started Skating Together: 2010

Coach: Marie-France Dubreuil, Patrice Lauzon, Romain Haguenauer

Season's Best: 186.45

Rhythm Dance: Charlie Chaplin

Free Dance: Swan Lake

Wang/Liu are really having a great season so far. They're coming off a personal best 4th place finish at Cup of China, and while that will be difficult to replicate here they certainly still have the opportunity to prove they’re moving up the tiers and more competitive than ever. For what they lack in national competition they more than make up for with training group competitors, and this year they’ve got two great programs catching the attention of fans and judges. Their Chaplin interpretation is chanting, their Swan Lake is dramatic, and overall they are strong performers with a great connection in spite of their large height difference. Looking ahead to the rest of the season, their best finish at worlds was 15th last season and they’ll be hoping for the momentum to push closer to the increasingly competitive top ten, something they’ve already taken a step towards after scoring less than one point behind the Canadanes in the free dance at Cup of China.  

Gabriella PAPADAKIS / Guillaume CIZERON FRA

Age: 24/25

Started Skating Together: 2004

Coach: Marie-France Dubreuil, Patrice Lauzon, Romain Haguenauer

Season's Best: 222.24

Rhythm Dance: Fame

Free Dance: Find Me

We might not know what a score is, and feel like this is generally a season of upheaval, but plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose. The question is not if Papadakis/Cizeron will win, but by how much. Their seasons best is 10 points higher than the rest of the dance field in general and 16 points higher than anyone in this field. Barring a complete catastrophe, the title is theirs. The bigger question is if they'll be able to maintain the gap, here and for the rest of the season. While no teams have yet come close to challenging their overall score, we're slowly seeing teams scores tick up in either the RD or the FD, though no one has yet put together competitive scores in both programs. Their rhythm dance is especially fun and dancey, and really shows a new side of their skating. Their free dance did not put us to sleep, and given the Dread that filled our souls when it was announced that they would be skating to a spoken word poem, that is truly all you can ask. Truth be told it’s their same flowy, graceful choreography just now set to words instead of music only. If you love it, you love it. If not, it’s only four minutes and they’d win doing anything. But to reiterate, the the to watch for will be the gap between them and the rest of the field particularly looking ahead to fields like the GPF and Worlds where there will be several teams who have made up some ground in at least one program.

 Lilah FEAR / Lewis GIBSON GBR

Age: 20/25

Started Skating Together: 2016

Coach: Marie-France Dubreuil, Patrice Lauzon, Romain Haguenauer

Season's Best: 195.35

Rhythm Dance: Blues Brothers

Free Dance: Madonna

Fear/Gibson show every sign of continuing their meteoric rise from last year's breakout season, winning their first GP medal at Skate Canada a few weeks ago. These two have been GOE monsters since last season, making their TES boxes truly terrifying to watch even when they don't hit their levels. If there is a team who knows how to use those choreo elements to their full advantage, it’s these two. They're a team that knows their strengths and play to them while obscuring their weaknesses. They don't always hit their keypoints but they're light and frothy and quick on their feet so it's fun to watch anyway. Fear/Gibson are really cornering the market on being The Most Fun and the judges are loving it. They have great lifts too, fast and difficult while still managing to look effortless, and the posing in the choreographic lift in the free dance is one of those little inspired details that keeps the judges coming back for more. Lewis especially shines in this free dance, like he was born for no other purpose than to skate to Madonna, but Lilah is no slouch in the performance department either. If they keep skating the way they've been, don't expect them to be too far from the podium.

 Charlene GUIGNARD / Marco FABBRI ITA

Age: 30/31

Started Skating Together: 2010

Coach: Barbara Fusar-Poli

Season's Best: 203.34

Rhythm Dance: Grease, apparently??

Free Dance: Space Oddity

Guignard/Fabbri are metal as hell. They've never given up and kept improving even as they hit their thirties, and have been steadily climbing up the ranks as more naturally talented and favored teams fell behind. There was an incident in practice a few weeks back where Charlene cut a tendon in Marco's hand and he had to have surgery, and he didn't fully recover by the time of their first GP assignment, choosing instead to skate with the cast on. But because you cannot keep a bad bitch down, they delivered two strong performances to achieve a personal best along with straight L4s in the free dance anyway. They're going to be battling Stepanova/Bukin here for the silver, and it's going to be a close one. So far they haven't really been getting the GOE they really need to be competitive, but Marco might have two functioning hands now which could prove the difference(or not? Hands may be a hindrance to hitting your levels??). Though they’ll be debuting a new rhythm dance?? Because how else to follow up LOOK MA NO HANDS than with LOOK MA NO PRACTICE. They may be revisiting Grease but with different music selections than their 2016/2017 short dance. This isn’t something we’d recommend for just any team, but given their technical success at IdF with only three functioning hands between the two of them, they can push their limits to great results. They're a very dependable team, and while their cover of Space Oddity is Not Ideal, their skating and elements are just so great. They were guaranteed to take over the top Italian spot with Cappellini/Lanotte out of competition, but it’s been great to watch them take such huge strides in their skating and performances so late in their career. Final or not, they have clearly established themselves as contenders for a second season.

   Sofia SHEVCHENKO / Igor EREMENKO RUS

Age: 17/22

Started Skating Together: 2014

Coach: Alexander Svinin and Irina Zhuk

Season's Best: 166.51

Rhythm Dance: Burlesque

Free Dance: Give Us A Little Love

Given the current depth of the field, Shevchenko/Eremenko have transitioned to seniors about as well as could be expected and rather on par with some other similarly skilled young seniors. Unfortunately their newfound technical prowess of last season that carried them to the JGPF title seems to have abandoned them once more, but maybe it was just the rust of a first competition. Even when they're L1ving it up they're still such a delight, especially with their unique and interesting free dance. Despite their modest scores and placement at their senior debut, they've really captured fandom's attention, and for good reason. They already have their own style, and they're such fantastic performers they make us actually like Burlesquestep, which is a real feat. Their free dance continues to build on the modern, abstract style they’ve been cultivating the past few seasons. These two really did get saddled with two of the toughest GP fields for their level, not that getting two GP assignments in a senior debut season is ever something to complain about, but it is tough on the WS points they can pick up this season. Shevchenko/Eremenko haven’t competed head-to-head against any of the Russian teams they’re likely to be directly competing against for placements at their debut senior nationals next month, but already having such a strong sense of who they are as a team can carry them far.

 Alexandra STEPANOVA / Ivan BUKIN RUS

Age: 24/26

Started Skating Together: 2006

Coach: Alexander Svinin and Irina Zhuk

Season's Best: 206.57

Rhythm Dance: Moulin Rouge

Free Dance: Cry Me a River

Stepanova/Bukin had a later start to the season, but still managed to win the hearts of fans, as well as the actual free dance at Skate America. They're unlikely to pull off the same feat here, but they can place a strong second and qualify for their second GPF. They didn't have much time to prepare before Skate America due to injury, and have had such a long break between events that we're very curious to see how both programs have developed. We really enjoy the Sparkling Diamonds portion of their theatrical rhythm dance, but last time we saw it lost a little steam in the second half. The transition between songs is also very similar to their end pose, which gives the program the feeling that it ends twice. Also that lift exit has raised our blood pressure since the first time we saw it in practice and we're going to be whiteknuckling it for the rest of the season. We're already really intrigued by their free dance, even with the clear lack of mileage. We'd been concerned that Cry Me A River was more of an exhibition piece, but it's a really well conceived program with surprisingly smooth music transitions. Stepanova/Bukin just missed the podium at last season’s GPF so they will absolutely be looking to do more than just qualify this year. A trip back to the final would also mean that we’d get an international showdown between the top two Russian teams ahead of nationals. 

 Christina CARREIRA / Anthony PONOMARENKO USA

Age: 19/18

Started Skating Together: 2014

Coach: Igor Shpilband and Pasquale Carmerlengo

Season's Best: 191.55

Rhythm Dance: Too Darn Hot

Free Dance: Flamenco Medley

Carreira/Ponomarenko might be looking for some redemption here after a bit of a disappointing Skate America a few weeks ago, though they absolutely don’t need it as they’ve been putting out some truly fantastic skating this year. Second year seniors who have been really making strides this season and are teetering on the edge of a true breakout season, they're capable of placing as high as fourth, but they'll really want to beat their countrymen McNamara/Carpenter as a pre Nationals showdown. The rhythm dance was what tripped them up at their first GP event which was really a shame because as we’ve mentioned we love seeing them in such a fun, upbeat program. Too Darn Hot might have been too darn popular among US dance teams this season, but this is a great vehicle allowing them to show off great energy and lightness in their steps. Their twizzles in both programs, though the FD in particular, are real showstoppers in terms of difficulty when they’re on, though it’s also an element where they’ve been prone to errors. Even when their levels fluctuate, their flamenco performance in the free has been steadily improving with every outing and is becoming quite compelling. For a variety of reasons the US dance teams aiming for that third worlds spot haven’t been able to make a big impact on the GP circuit this season, but Carreira/Ponomarenko are one of two with a chance to do so in Japan.  

Lorraine McNamara/Quinn Carpenter USA

Age: 20/23

Started Skating Together: 2005

Coach: Elena Novak and Alexei Kiliakov

Season's Best: 183.47

Rhythm Dance: Liza Minnelli Medley

Free Dance: Rescue

Precious weirdo children who have grown up to be so stately and serious and normal in their old age. Quinn unfortunately suffered a wrist injury and the team pulled out of a Challenger event as well as their first GP assignment so this is a bit of a restart for their season. They are a young team only in their third senior season, but they've already been skating together for fourteen years, which is truly special. You can see the longevity of their partnership in the way they move without even needing to be told. They're so in tune with each other, it feels like they're sharing a brain. They have great skating skills as well, creating speed from practically nothing. We look forward to better quality videos of their programs this week, but this is a team who can do a Liza Minnelli medley justice. A change from Adele to Adam Lambert for the second half of their FD seemed to be serving them well at Nepela earlier this season and it will be interesting to see what progress and changes they’ve been able to make since then in spite of injury. Even with the lost competition time, McNamara/Carpenter will be looking to make their case for another spot on the US Nationals podium, and maybe even a place on the worlds team, by finishing ahead of Carreira/Ponomarenko in this US dance matchup. 

[wavemaker9]

At like 9:40 in the middle of work I realized I forgot about Arthur so let’s talk about Toni with that boy.

The funniest thing about these two is that like. SpUk was I think the very first aph ship I ever did RP stuff for and yet at the time I wasn’t really about the two being together. I was fine with it, but at the time I didn’t have a good grasp on Toni’s personality and I hadn’t known enough yet about Arthur’s and so all I really knew (vaguely) was the history between them and I didn’t think that’d be something Toni’d want to long term deal with. And honestly, to a point, same even now. but I’ve found there’s more to it over the years and started to like it more, unfortunately only after the window of being able to rp it, so f there.

I think the best way to describe the two is the same way avi and khep describe gil and ivan’s relay in dif AUs. Which is like “i’m fascinated by their more aggressive/competitive dynamic when they have this really negative baggage between them, but I also like their dynamic when they don’t have that and can just be buds.” Similarly arthur and toni can get along really well and be a relatively good match, though not so much in verses like nationverse and gta au where toni has such a harder time letting things go.

Toni isn’t as bad as kyle is about grudges, I will say that. Kyle will hold a grudge after he’s forgotten what started it in the first place; he doesn’t need to know why he was mad, he just needs to know he was mad. Toni is better in two ways about that. 1, if he forgets why the grudge happened or 1, has more information to justify why the other did this thing he’s mad about where he can understand it and be chill with it, he’ll be mostly fine with letting it go, or at least letting it ease enough to get along with the other person in a civil way. The issue is that even if he can behave nice about it, that thought lingers in the back of his mind. It’s another factor in him often not being able to truly relax because ‘yeah sure, we’re getting along and laughing and having a good time, and I may even just like them as a person, but /also/. But also i still remember.’ it’s a definite issue in nationverse and gta au with arthur. Probably more so in gta au probably? Nationverse a lot of time has passed and because toni’s trying to more actively be a better person, that helps him to want to push past those thoughts. Their rivalry in the old days and shit is something they can probably both mostly laugh about now, though, even if the laugh is a little bitter. Gta au is worse, though, def. That happened very recently, and toni’s still mad about it to a point which sucks because he did really like being friends with arthur so it’s so frustrating that he has to hate him now (plus arthur not coming clean about where he got his info from is also so frustrating), and in turn i picture arthur kind of treating the lingering hostility as amusingly childish? He keeps poking here and there because it’s fun and toni prods back, arthur nudges a little more, toni pushes, arthur shoves, and suddenly they’re fighting again.

Which is the other issue of like, god they can be so competitive. This is less so but still true in the more chill xovers but really bad in the ones like nationverse and such. In the chill ones they can kind of try to keep it chill and mostly to sarcastic banter. Nationverse it sometimes falls apart to fighting but they're also here for that when it happens, so. GTA AU it often falls apart to fighting and they’re like less here for it but still kinda here for it. I think they had a lot of fun with that before things went bad and loved getting into fights with each other, but it sours in that the fighting becomes less fun when there’s actual anger behind it so while it still happens if they’re around each other for too long in gta au (I think I had notes somewhere saying this is why i picture arthur not being included in many boys nights), it’s not as enjoyable.

I will say though, even in the more chill AUs, this isn’t helped either by arthur being much more reserved and such as he gets older. Like toni also chills as he ages, but he can still be passionate and emotive when he wants to while arthur is never /great/ at learning that sort of language to communicate. He can be romantic too and stuff, but it’s harder for him to express himself. It’s again why kyle grows up not really thinking that arthur cares about him much in so many AUs. Kyle expects signs of affection to the same level he gives, and arthur is so reserved and not as emotive that he can give the wrong impression very easily.

I guess a tldr summary is that arthur is probably somewhere on the line around gil? He has a lot in common with toni like mel does, but he’s not a super ideal match romantically long term either from his reserved nature or their active hostility depending on the AU, which knocks him further down the list.

Also, while we’re at it, might as well address the elephant that always feels in the room of spamano? Which I can just sum up pretty simply as like. Nationverse or anything similar where Toni raises lovi in any way, even if not related, it’s 100% off limits. Even in like nationverse, Toni’d feel uncomfortable about that, both because yeah there def would be that weird factor of age differences (even if ages are weird and relative for nations) + that experience of raising him. I don’t think Toni’d have /quite/ as much of an issue with dating other newer nations, like i don’t like spaoz but i did write that one fic because i could at least picture that, even if kyle’s even younger than lovi. Toni would still not be 100% chill with it and probably wouldn’t let anything last very long with a more recent nation, but i think there’s more of an issue there with having directly helped raise lovi. It’s funny because toni def has a preference for power. It’s part of his pride thing, being in power in a situation is his kink. But he wants that to be a consenting power thing, and consent of authority gets a lot harder to work out if the other person already grew up with you as an authority figure. Plus! Lovi’s personality in general factors into that too. A, toni feels too worried about being a good role model for Lovi and like. Trying to be a good role model for your love interest doesn’t make for a /great/ relationship most of the time even without the “i helped raise you” factor. B, again even outside of nationverse things, like I think Toni would be more chill with Lovi’s personality, and it’d fall into the same area as like gil or francis of like ‘this is fine for a friend doing it’, but it’s still not a personality that at least my toni would long term want to be around. His ideal for a long term relay is way more romantic than that, and I understand and stuff that Lovi’s aggressive is covering up affection and stuff and that he’s capable of being softer, but also like. I already talked about how Toni’s “gotta be the best” mentality is already exhausting in a relay, but imagine how exhausting “my romance language is lots of affection and positivity and expressions of love, and I have to constantly translate your dismissive/aggressive comments into what they /might/ mean”. Like this is leagues worse than Arthur even where instead of just seeming distant or cold, it’s coming off as actively hostile in most casual situations. it’s bad for communication and once again blurs that consent factor covered before because sometimes “get lost, fuck face” means i love you and sometimes “get lost, fuck face” just means get lost, fuck face, and it’s hard to read the lines there sometimes. Toni can be more tolerating doing that with friends in dif AUs, as we’ve seen with BFT and Arthur and Boys Night, but that’s not what he wants out of a romance, that’s more how diego rolls with a relay. In AUs where tehy don’t have a child-guardian history, toni /might/ have a small thing with lovi, but it would not be long term unless lovi learned to be more consistently communicative in a positive way, and that’s not guaranteed to be what lovi wants either so yknow. It just couldn’t last otherwise.

[stougaardamrtinussen50-blog]

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[thetimelessdreams]

Two souls have wished to be on the same sky.

Two people’s souls, always connected then harshly separated. . December of trembling, and February of hoping, then comes April, . when the smiling spring, like a curious child, clears the sky. .

Feb 2, 2022

kinda inspired by the monsta x song with the same name

[not your typical love story lol...it's just a lost friendship] [it's a plot hole why snowboarders are hated]

....

The Coldest Firecracker.

....

In September, the school year began for Angel, a mysterious new student. The room was occupied by 26 different bodies, with souls muttering different songs. He was in the back row, staring at his drawing. It was a huge tree, with ropes around it. Skulls on the ropes, fire around the tree. Even if he took a name that in the native language of this country meant 'angel', he truly was the opposite. He drew those beings hanging on trees, like the sinners some are. He had seen so many around his father, Satan. Fallen angels with no wings, only blackened hearts. They have no souls but claim to protect the mortals with an immortal soul. He had another name in Hell, his beautiful mouthful of a name, with such destiny, that Satan was afraid of letting him go. That was Khaos.

The devil wasn’t young or naïve, but he didn’t know that souls also die. It takes only 30 lives. Then a man entered the room, he was in his 50s, with grey hair, a tall and thin frame, small bag on his broad shoulders. Khaos felt strong feelings in his soul. He assumed it was because of the age, but this was something different, something fierce and unpredictable. The teacher looked much older than he was, maybe from the life he lived or someone he lost. Khaos had his own mission. He was here to find the soul of his long lost friend.

‘That's him, that's my Ivanitsa. But I have to stay neutral for now…’

Khaos didn’t react to his introduction, he continued scribbling his thoughts into the drawing. Such a pretty tree, but such a bad idea to burn it down and on it all these skulls. Now he began writing about the tree in this little notebook he uses for drawing. That’s how he becomes like the humans, he feels and writes about it. He always does it around others to numb the need to read their souls. Since Khaos loves seeing others’ emotions, he began feeling them too, which made him weak.

But Satan always loved his runt…

The day was Thursday and the class had two hours of Bulgarian.

“The second lesson will be outside, alright?”, said the teacher. Everyone went outside and sat on the wooden benches in the yard. It was a time for a grammatical test. Irina was next to Khaos and even asked him something. She just didn’t want to talk to her friends, but to this mysterious guy. He read what she thought about, it was uneasiness. She was ashamed to speak to the devil. He could do only one thing - begin talking first, until...

“Do we write now or wait for a bit?”

“Wait for Ivan- for the teacher to finish…”

“Ivan? Wasn’t his name Plamen-”

“Yeah, my mistake…happens often…”

Khaos was quicker than everyone with the test. The entire class looked at him in dismay.

“You are the clever one aren’t you…or maybe a very competitive guy with a lot of mistakes, kid!”

‘I am not a kid, but okay Ivanitsa…’, thought Khaos.

“He has no mistakes!”, the teacher exclaimed in happiness.

Little did he know, that was just the beginning. After the lesson, Khaos thought so hard, to remember something that happened last year. "The young boy" recalled seeing the teacher last year when the devil was asking for ski equipment. That’s when he saw him and decided on changing his look a bit. Khaos recognised him now…

...

“Good afternoon!”, said Khaos in a rather cheerful tone, because of the white snow outside.

“Greetings, what’s it for you, a youngster of these sacred lands!”

“Where to ski…hahaha- I am kinda here for the first time…in so many years...”

“I don't know how did you get here, but this is a mountain rescuing centre...", followed by an awkward silence. Khaos felt like a fool. "...But, don't be sad, so, you see that hill over there. It’s my favourite to be skiing on. And I hate snowboarders, so I am glad you chose to ski, son!”

“Ever since I was a child, I loved skiing!”

When the man embraced him to show him the hill, Khaos couldn’t hold himself but peek at his past a little bit. He saw the despair that no one could explain. Khaos’s face changed resembling the guy next to him’s features. But he was hiding them from the start with a scarf and a hat. He really needed a new face after the things he did in the city. Sometimes, killing stands to defend the vulnerable. Yet, it's against the law.

Khaos wanted to cry right now. Not because of his deeds, but because of the tall man standing next to him. 'Son.', the devil hadn't heard that word in nearly a millennium. 'I wonder what are you doing, my dearest father.'

"And over there are those snowboarders...maniacs that go against the natural flow, to seek adrenaline, like surfers! I have this one story why are snowboarders so bad in my opinion. Wanna hear it, son?"

"Yes, sir. I'd love to."

Khaos smiled whilst pulling the scarf off his face. The man also smiled, petting his dog. He began talking about how lovely life is.

...

That’s how Khaos and the teacher met.

And that's how the lesson ended.

"Teacher, have you ever been abroad?"

"Yeah, 1986...I was in Hungary for an F1 competition, the top 3 were..."

Khaos didn't bother waiting for Irina and left. She looked at him confused, thinking that he could've been interested like her. But he wasn't, he knew too much to even bother wanting to know more.

The devil knew one thing, he will realise who Khaos is. But for now, the 16-year-old Angel D. will not talk. It was pretty ironic for him to stay in the back and scribble around just like one other person did in the 70s.

And that person had become Irina's motivation to keep writing. Khaos will not stop reading her mind for her brilliant ideas, which make him overthink how distant humans were from him.

'Irina huh, why are you so special?'

The young devil didn't need friends in this new class, he tried to feel accustomed even now. But everyone's thoughts made him disgusted. Except for those of one girl in the front row. The rest of the class thought about foolish things, but she was doing a very deep investigation. Despite this, Irina wasn't what he was looking for originally.

The bell rang. Mathematics, boredom.

[thewrosper]

Cannes Film Festival flashback: Most memorable editions, from post-WWII beginnings to its 2009 pinnacle

May holds a special place in the calendar of film lovers across the world. It is when the privileged few of them gather at that most hallowed rendezvous on the Croisette for Cannes Film Festival — and it sure is a privilege to discover the best films of the year, before they are coated with all that promotional sheen. Sadly, Cannes 2020, originally scheduled to run from 12-23 May, will not be held in its "original form" this year due to the ongoing coronavirus crisis; but it was announced on Sunday that it will screen an official selection of its films at fall festivals like Venice. Meanwhile, all its parallel sections — Directors' Fortnight, Critics' Week, ACID — have been cancelled. With many other festivals also cancelled, cinemas closed, and productions on hold, the COVID-19 pandemic has paralysed the film industry.  It is unfortunate especially following the success of last year's edition, which proved exactly why Cannes is still considered the barometer of quality in cinema. Some of the most beloved films of 2019 began their journey at the festival: Beanpole, Bacurau, I Lost My Body, Invisible Life, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, Pain and Glory, Portrait of a Lady on Fire, The Lighthouse and, not to mention, the eventually Oscar-winning Parasite. It was truly an exceptional line-up, in terms of scale, variety and substance. Turning back the clock, we time-travel to Cannes film festivals over the years with equally exceptional line-ups. End of a war, birth of a festival Highlights | Beauty and the Beast (Jean Cocteau), Brief Encounter (David Lean), Gaslight (George Cukor), Gilda (Charles Vidor), The Lost Weekend (Billy Wilder), Notorious (Alfred Hitchcock), Rome Open City (Roberto Rossellini)

Proposed as an alternative to Venice Film Festival (then politicised by Mussolini), the first edition of Cannes was initially supposed to be held in 1939. Louis Lumière, the man who gave us cinema, was announced as president. MGM had chartered an ocean liner to bring all the stars from Hollywood. Cary Grant, Douglas Fairbanks Jr., Gary Cooper, James Cagney, Mae West, Norma Shearer, Spencer Tracy, and many more had arrived on the Croisette. Then, Germany invaded Poland and they all had to book return tickets. The world had to wait till the war ended for a taste of what Cannes had to offer — and boy, did they deliver. Alfred Hitchcock got everyone's hearts racing and adrenaline pumping with Notorious. Billy Wilder followed up Double Indemnity with a grim portrait of alcoholism in The Lost Weekend. David Lean served a romantic tearjerker for the ages in Brief Encounter. Italian neorealism began to take shape with Roberto Rossellini's Rome, Open City. Jean Cocteau crafted an anti-Disney treatment of Beauty and the Beast, where the surreal and real, the ugliness and beauty come together in a magic realist concoction. Out of the 44 feature films screened, 11 of them (one from each participating country) were awarded the top prize, Grand Prix (now called Palme d'Or), for reasons of diplomacy. This included India's sole Palme d'Or crown (till now) in Chetan Anand's Neecha Nagar.  However, it was anything but a smooth-running operation. In a comedy of errors, the reels of Hitchcock's Notorious were reversed, screened with the ending reel first, while the projection of George Sydney’s The Three Musketeers was turned upside-down. There was also tension brewing over the beginning of the Cold War. Russia blamed every technical issue on the US; the US cried sabotage over last-minute parties being scheduled at the same time as Hollywood films.  Despite reversed reels and upside-down projections, Cold War scandals and consolation awards, the inaugural edition proved it could only get better. Cannes 1946 helped France regain its status as an economic power in Europe post-WWII, also enhancing its cultural weight over the rest of the world — at least, in terms of cinema.  The glitz and glamour Highlights | Ballad of a Soldier (Grigori Chukhrai), La Dolce Vita (Federico Fellini), L'avventura (Michelangelo Antonioni), The Virgin Spring (Ingmar Bergman), The Young One (Luis Buñuel)

Within a decade, Cannes had set a new precedent for other festivals. Call it a temple of cinema or a glamorous vanity fair, it was beginning to attract the best filmmakers in world cinema. It also became the new locus for the golden age of Italian cinema, as two of its canonical entries, Fellini's La Dolce Vita and Antonioni's L'avventura, were both screened at the festival. Not without controversy of course. La Dolce Vita and L'avventura divided the critics and the public, stirring the deepest admiration and aversion. The former ended up winning the Palme d'Or, the latter the Jury Prize. However, for a large portion of the public, La Dolce Vita was an overlong decadent affair intended to outrage all good taste and sensibilities. They also didn't care for the pacing or abstract narrative of L'avventura, having expected it to be a straightforward investigative thriller. The boos and barbs got so severe, lead star Monica Vitti left the screening hall in tears. Cannes has become a stage for glitz and glamour, parties and photo calls, and the army of paparazzi that comes with them. With La Dolce Vita, Fellini sums up the hope and despair, the beauty and ugliness to this superficial celebrity lifestyle, testifying to the social malaise underneath. In L'avventura, Antonioni created a new visual language of his own, one which reflected its synthetic nature while merging the realms of reality and abstraction. Before Come and See and Ivan's Childhood, Grigori Chukhrai gave us an equally lyrical meditation on war in Ballad of a Soldier. Also screened at the festival were Bimal Roy's Sujata and William Wyler's Ben-Hur (out of competition). With Marché du Film established just the previous year, Cannes had also set the stage to become the premier global film market we know it as today, giving film professionals the opportunity to shake hands with the best in the business. Pulp Fiction puts American indie films on the world cinema map Highlights | Exotica (Atom Egoyan), The Hudsucker Proxy (Coen Brothers), Pulp Fiction (Quentin Tarantino), Three Colours: Red (Krzysztof Kieślowski), Through the Olive Trees (Abbas Kiarostami), To Live (Zhang Yimou)

Cannes 1994 will forever be remembered as the year Quentin Tarantino's Pulp Fiction won the Palme d'Or, thanks to jury president Clint Eastwood. The film beat favourites like Krzysztof Kieslowsk's final feature, Three Colours: Red, and Nanni Moretti's Dear Diary, which was eagerly championed by jury vice-president Catherine Deneuve. The victories of Sex, Lies, and Videotape in 1989 and Pulp Fiction in 1994 gave American independent cinema global validation. Pulp Fiction of course benefited from producer Harvey Weinstein's "Iron Curtain Strategy" to increase the buzz with limited screenings, while targeting selected American critics to deliver glowing reviews. It began his enduring love affair with Cannes, as he returned as jury president 10 years later and delivered three more of his films (Death Proof in 2007, Inglourious Basterds in 2009, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood in 2019) in the race for Palme d'Or.  The edition boasted a particularly rich line-up across the various sections. Un Certain Regard, the official selection which was created in 1978, and favoured atypical films and lesser-known filmmakers, included Olivier Assayas' Cold Water (L'eau froide), Pedro Costa's Down to Earth (Casa de Lava), Claire Denis' I Can't Sleep (J'ai pas sommeil) among others. Adding to the festival's scale and eclecticism were the parallel sections. Critics' Week featured Kevin Smith's Clerks, while Directors' Fortnight had a commendable line-up of films from Aki Kaurismäki (Take Care of Your Scarf, Tatiana), Ang Lee (Eat Drink Man Woman), Michael Haneke (71 Fragments of a Chronology of Chance) and Shekhar Kapur (Bandit Queen). John Waters' hilariously absurd satire, Serial Mom, was also screened out of competition. The pinnacle of eclecticism Highlights | Palme d'Or: Antichrist (Lars von Trier), A Prophet (Jacques Audiard), Bright Star (Jane Campion), Broken Embraces (Pedro Almodóvar), Enter the Void (Gaspar Noé), Face (Tsai Ming-liang), Fish Tank (Andrea Arnold), Inglourious Basterds (Quentin Tarantino), Thirst (Park Chan-wook), The Time That Remains (Elia Suleiman), Wild Grass (Alain Resnais), Vincere (Marco Bellocchio), Vengeance (Johnnie To), The White Ribbon (Michael Haneke) Un Certain Regard: Dogtooth (Yorgos Lanthimos), Father of My Children (Mia Hansen-Løve), Mother (Bong Joon-ho) Out of Competition: Drag Me to Hell (Sam Raimi), Pixar's Up (Pete Docter)

Andrea Arnold, Bong Joon-ho, Jane Campion, Gaspar Noé, Lars von Trier, Park Chan-wook, Quentin Tarantino, Michael Haneke, Pedro Almodóvar, Yorgos Lanthimos and more. Talk about an umissable festival line-up. But with this diversity came division, as some of the jury members ended up in a bitter battle. Jury President Isabelle Huppert and fellow juror James Gray reportedly fought over the former favouring Antichrist, and in the end, reached a compromise with The White Ribbon. The 2009 edition was also an example of how Cannes is a unique showcase for little-known filmmakers to introduce their films to larger audiences. It is hard to imagine if we would all have been raving about Lanthimos and the Greek Weird Wave, if Dogtooth hadn't won Prix Un Certain Regard. Ditto, with Mia Hansen-Løve. It is no wonder filmmakers and producers organise their production schedules in order to be able to present their films at Cannes. Cannes 2020 could have matched the 2019, if not 2009, edition with a line-up, which would have probably included Annette (Leos Carax), Bergman Island (Mia Hansen-Løve), The French Dispatch (Wes Anderson), Last Night in Soho (Edgar Wright), Memoria (Apichatpong Weerasethakul), Mona Lisa and the Blood Moon (Ana Lily Amirpour), Peninsula (Yeon Sang-Ho), Pixar's Soul (Pete Doctor), Tenet (Christopher Nolan) and many more. We'll know more when Cannes chief Thierry Frémaux makes an announcement on the selection in June. Even if there's no physical or online edition of the festival, just imagining a "What if" wishlist makes for a comforting exercise in these strange times. Read the full article

[oliverphisher]

Prue Mason

Camel Rider By Prue Mason

Prue Mason lived for many years in the Middle East and draws on her own many exciting life experiences to write her children's adventure novels that have been particularly successful with boy readers. She has also written many articles and short stories for children's magazines in Australia and internationally.

After growing up in Australia, Prue Mason travelled Australia and the world as a flight attendant on a private airplane with her husband, a professional pilot. They lived in Canada for three years then the Gulf region of the Middle East for 12 years.

Besides writing, Prue does workshops and gives presentations at schools and writing festivals. In 2005, her first book Camel Rider won the Queensland Premier’s Literary Award and was a Notable Book at the Children’s Book Council of Australia Book of the Year Awards. Prue has received several grants towards research for her books, including a May Gibbs fellowship for Amazing Australians in Their Flying Machines.

What are one to three books that have greatly influenced your life? 

This question got me thinking because I’ve been surrounded by books all my life as my mother was a librarian and she had all her father’s collection of books and he was a journalist. In our house now, there are books in almost every room because I like having books around me. For me it’s like living with all those dear friends - the main characters in the stories I’ve read and loved.

When I think of the fact that I started reading when I was six years old and I’ve probably read one book a week since then that adds up about 3,000 books. (Please don’t do the maths!) Of course, I can’t remember them all and I sure I couldn’t say what is my favourite novel or who my favourite author is these days. There are just too many brilliant books out there that I’ve loved reading and learned so much from.

But …there was one book many, many years ago that I believe did change my life because it asked a question about who I was deep down and it challenged me to make a decision about how I would try and live the rest of my life.

I was probably about 13 years old when I read this book. It was by a brilliant Australian author of the 1960s and 1970s- Ivan Southall. His book is To the Wild Sky.

To The Wild Sky (Text Classics) By Ivan Southall

The plot to this story is fairly simple - there were six passengers on board a small plane over the outback heading to a remote cattle station and the pilot has a heart attack and dies. All the passengers are under the age of 15 years old and no one has a pilot’s license. They react differently. One boyknows a small amount about flying so he takes over the controls but he doesn’t know where he is and can’t speak to any one on the radio and certainly doesn’t know how to land an aeroplane. The six children are in the air for over 7 hours going through the most harrowing experience because they know that no one can rescue them.  They don’t know if they’re going to die or survive. One of the boys in the back seat is so scared he throws up most of the time. The rest aren’t much better. I’d recommend you read this book but just a word of warning the ending is unsettling. But then so is life. This book was the first one I’d read where everything didn’t end up in a happy-ever-after type situation. But the question in this book for me was if I ever found myself in a situation like that or any life-threatening situation would I be the kid who took over and flew the plane safely or would I be the one in the back seat throwing up??

To be honest, I’m still not sure because thankfully I’ve never found myself in such a scary and life-threatening situation but I think it’s the reason I challenged myself to leave home and my safe places to travel the world and even get my pilot’s licence. I believe also it’s why I became a writer. That to me, takes true courage because the risk of failure is so high.

What purchase of $100 or less has most positively impacted your life in the last six months (or in recent memory)?      

A shoulder massager. Love it after sitting at a desk for a few hours.

How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success? 

Having been the Queen of Rejection Letters in my early daysI learned the hard way to work on my writing skills. To do this I read and read and read and took all sorts of correspondence coursesthat were available at the time. As well as this I made writing a daily habituntil I knew I must be a much better writer because I started getting rejection letters with personal comments on them from the publisher. This encouraged me enough to keep going and somewhere along the way I finally learned to stop taking rejections and constructive criticism as a personal failure. That was a major turning point from being an amateur to a professional writer.

Are there any quotes you think of often or live your life by?

‘Read a Story, Write a Story, Be a story. ‘

Everything in life for me comes back to the narrative and how the story is told. Sometimes Iwish I had the chance to do some editing in my own life story though. Oh well. Seriously, I think that if we can see our own lives as stories and make them as fascinating as possible then our own experiences, good, bad and painful will be able inform what we write about and help us create great stories that other people will love to read.

What is one of the best investment in a writing resource you’ve ever made.

Besides a laptop computer the best investment I’ve made for my writing career has been buying books and giving myself time to read them.

What is an unusual habit or an absurd thing that you love? 

Since I was about 20 years old and working in a pub that was open until late I started taking nanna naps in the afternoon – only for about 20-30 minutes but it seemed to get me through to 3.00 am finishes and allowed me to get up at the reasonably respectable time of about 9.00 am the next day. Later when I lived in the Middle East I embraced the idea of the afternoon from between about 1- 4 pm as being sacrosanct when no one would dream of calling on you personally or by phone. Although I’ve been back in Australia for years now I still find it annoying when I get phone calls during this time and I definitely don’t encourage visitors in the afternoon. I can’t even say it’s because I’m writing because although I might be I’m more likely to be just settling down or coming out of a nanna nap.

In the last five years, what new belief, behaviour, or habit has most improved your life? 

Yoga. I’ve been practising yoga for many years because I love how it keeps me flexible in body and mind and the breathing exercises helped during the early days of doing talks at schools and festivals when I felt nervous about standing up and talking to audiences. Then, about five years ago I trained to be a yoga teacher. Although I’ve never taught more than a couple of yoga classes since ithas had a more profound influence on me than I expected because it gave me the confidence to create my own yoga routines that incorporate yoga asanas (exercises) withwords, thoughts and my own personal philosophies.As it turns out during these last few years I’ve faced some personal challenges that have made me re-evaluate my life and yoga has been a technique to help me through as I’ve createdroutines thatspecifically  dealwith grief, anxiety, self-worth and creativity. Practisingmy 20-minute yoga routines dailyI feel I’m emotionally stronger than I’ve ever been and more grounded. I approach life now day-by-day, breath-by-breath, word-by-word because what I’ve learned from my own experience is that what makes a successful life isn’t how much money we have or facebook friends or how many books we write or sell but how we cope with the challenges thrown at us. Because come what may, no matter who we are, challenges will be there in some form or another and it’s how we react to them that will define us.

What advice would you give to a smart, driven aspiring author? What advice should they ignore? 

Find about 3-4 other smart, driven aspiring authors and start a writers’ group. Through the constructive criticism you can give each other you can all improve your skills. But it’s more than this though. It’s the ongoing encouragement and support that is crucial during this phase of a writer’s career because it’s their belief in you that will keep you going and your belief in them that will help you all get the success you deserve. And to be honest the little bit of healthy competition can make you hone, hone and hone some more. Besides that, there is no one except another aspiring writer who can truly understand the pain of rejection or the joy of acceptance. Your group will become friends for life and that is definitely my best advice for any aspiring writer.

Ignore any advice about your own writing from anyone who doesn’t write themselves (except professional editors of course!)

What are bad recommendations you hear in your profession often? 

Know the market. When I started writing some time during the 1990s I wanted to write a big fantasybut the advice and recommendations I kept getting was that fantasy wasn’t selling. Well that was until J.K. Rowling came along. Even then her ms was rejected more than once and she was also told fantasy doesn’t sell. Writing isn’t easy and isn’t necessarily that well paid. You may as well write what you’re passionate about anddo it to the best of your ability. Who knows you may be the one, like J.K. Rowling, who createsthe next market trend.

In the last five years, what have you become better at saying no to (distractions, invitations, etc.)? 

I remember listening to a well-published writer speak a few years ago and she said writers have to be inherently selfish and learn to say no or a book would never get written. I was slightly troubled by this because I didn’t want to believe that what I do made me a selfish person. I thought about it and finally came to understand that no matter what you do from being a mother, a pilot, a lawyer, a teacher, shop assistant or whatever, to be good at what you do takes commitment and time. To get that you have to learn to say no to other demands and if that’s selfish well long live selfishness!

She also said that as a writer it also helps to keep a part of you separate and observe a situation no matter how painful because if you can later describe that pain it can be most useful for your own books.

What marketing tactics should authors avoid?

Marketing is an area I find most difficult to negotiate. I’m probably not on my own here. Beyond having a website and facebook presence as well as joining a few key book/writer groups and doing workshops and presentations at schools and festivalsplus obviously, answering interesting requests for interviews I have found that if I get too caught up with the many and various ways of marketing myself I don’t have time for what I consider important – writing.

What new realizations and/or approaches have helped you achieve your goals? 

Understanding my own motivation for wanting to write and then aligning that to my style of writing. For me that has turned out to be realistic adventure stories with children often in life and death situations and having to find a way through by being resourceful and brave enough to overcome their own fears.

When you feel overwhelmed or have lost your focus temporarily, what do you do? 

A yoga routine concentrating on my breath can always help to ground me and bring back focus. A great way to align your breath with time is to inhale for the count of four, hold your breath for count of seven and breathe out for the count of eight. Do this between three to nine times. If I have time but no motivation sometimes taking a break from the desk and spending my time on the couch reading a book helps me get out of my own world and gain some perspective. Best of all though is lying on my back on the floor with my legs up a walland an eye pillow over my eyes. This is probably one of the most relaxing poses that truly helps to calm me when I’m feeling really overwhelmed.Even five minutes is good.

Any other tips?

Writing and getting published isn’t easy and the chance of failure is high so I think it needs personal courage to begin a book because we always have a choice NOT to do something that’s difficult. For me, having chosen this writerly life it’s had ups and downs but it’s amazing that it’s led me to placesand experiences I didn’t expect such as up the Kokoda Track, on a woman’s protest march in Sanaa in Yemen and standing in front of cameras as the resident expert on Australian aviation history for a Foxtel history series for television. Something I’ve learned along the way is that every time I’ve chosen to be brave and survived, the experience has given me a bit more courage that’s helped me face whatever the next challenge will be…such as getting on with a structural edit after a rejection of the ms that was definitely going to be the next best seller.

________

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[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Marvel Cinematic Universe review

The Marvel Cinematic Universe is one of the biggest and most ambitious franchises ever made. While not the first franchise ever to attempt a shared universe, it is definitely the one that codified how to pull them off in the modern day, and it has proven to be an incredible, unbelievable success. I mean, as good as Iron Man was, no one ever truly expected the little Nick Fury cameo at the end to ever be anything more than a neat little mythology gag. And yet, here we are, nearly a decade later, with it being the highest grossing franchise in cinematic history and with it containing some of the very best superhero films ever made.

Of course, there being fifteen movies so far, and with more on the way, it would be an enormous task to review them all individually… so, to celebrate the impending release of Spider-Man: Homecoming, I will be doing a similar thing as I did to the View Askiewniverse and touching upon each of the Marvel films thus far released. However, for the Guardians of the Galaxy films, Civil War, and Doctor Strange, I will keep things brief, as my reviews of them are still new enough to accurately reflect my opinions (Age of Ultron is not so lucky here).

There is no better place to start than the start, so let’s lok at the film that began it all: Iron Man. It is the tale of egotistical millionaire Tony Stark and how, after a brush with death that had him kidnapped by terrorists and crippled, he decided to change for the better and don a robot suit so he could protect the world from devastation. One of his big goals is to clean up the mess his company has made in the world, which not everyone likes, particularly Obadiah Stane.

This movie is probably most well known for resurrecting the career of Robert Downey, Jr. after he struggled for years with addiction and had a downward spiral. This is a truly triumphant return, and his negative experiences definitely helped him out with this role of a self-destructive playboy who realizes he should dedicate himself to a better cause. RDJ truly captures what his character is and what he should be, and thanks to his performance, he not only saved his career, he saved the character as well, who had not exactly been popular due to the recent Civil War event in the comics and his unnecessarily extreme actions therein. It’s a twofold saving, and boy is it a blast!

One part of the film that is not often talked about is the villain, Obadiah Stane, who is played by Jeff “The Dude” Bridges. As the very first Marvel supervillain, he does leave a bit of an impression with his  exclamation of how Tony built his first Iron Man suit IN A CAVE! WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS! He eventually suits up in a gigantic mech suit, and becomes the typical “Evil version of the hero” that we’ve all come to know and love… but, to be fair to him, he was the first one. As far as “Evil version of the hero”-type villains go, Obadiah Stane is enjoyable and memorable. He was originally planned to have a “never found the body” situation going on at the end of the film, hinting he could eventually return, but as it’s not in the final cut, we kinda have to assume that this was part of the annoying “kill the cool villain” trend the movies would follow for years.

This movie has a reputation as being one of the greatest superhero movies ever made, and it really isn’t undeserved. This film has kickass action, great characters, intriguing foreshadowing that actually payed off, and yet it still works easily as a standalone. This right here is how superhero films should be made, but the fact that so many later superhero films, including later MCU films and the DCEU films prior to Wonder Woman, decided to focus on cramming in so much crap that requires you to watch previous and later films to understand them, it seems not many got the memo. Franchise building isn’t always bad guys, but take notes; work on being good on your own first.

The Incredible Hulk is next up on the list, and this is one of the most obscure films in the MCU. NOBODY talks about this movie. I’d understand if people thought Mark Ruffalo was the first Hulk in the MCU; this movie is hardly ever referenced even in later films, all its plot threads seem to have been dropped, and it took until Civil War for one of its characters to reappear. For the life of me, I’ll never understand why; this movie is a fantastic example of worldbuilding while still remaining a solid standalone film. The plot is relatively simple: Bruce Banner wants to be left alone so he can cure himself, but after accidentally poisoning a man with his blood after it got into some soda (you read that right), General Ross and Emil Blonsky are on his trail; for those not in the know, Blonsky becomes one of Hulk’s most famous foes, Abomination.

Edward Norton is Bruce Banner here, and you can tell he really is a fan of the comics, because he does an excellent job; he apparently did a lot of uncredited rewriting and even directed some of his own scenes. William Hurt as Ross is also perfect, which of course is helped by the fact that Hurt is a big fan of Hulk. Then of course there’s Liv Tyler as Betty Ross, and she’s actually one of the better love interests in the MCU, to the point where it’s honestly offensive she hasn’t reappeared and instead has been replaced with Black Widow of all people as Bruce’s love interest.

The movie has solid action and a solid final fight, with Abomination being a pretty good “Evil version of the hero” villain. He’s not spectacular or anything, but he’s definitely threatening and pretty cool. So how then did this become such an obscure film in one of the biggest franchises? I imagine part of the problem is being screwed over by Universal, who owns the distribution rights for Hulk solo films. This movie just couldn’t be followed up, and so Hulk is relegated to ensemble casts. This leaves a lot of the characters in limbo, which includes Abomination and Leader (who had his origin shown in the film). And this is a real shame, because like I said, there’s some great worldbuilding here; the super-soldier serum is mentioned, there’s Stark weaponry, and in an alternate opening with the Hulk running through the arctic we get a glimpse of the frozen Captain America. Honestly, I think aside from the issue with the film rights, the fact that this movie can mostly be described as “Solid” is the reason why it has faded from the public consciousness; it lacks the OOMPH so many of the later films and even Iron Man before it had, and nowadays aside from looking for all the foreshadowing it’s hard to watch and care about these characters who will never show up again. It’s a damn good movie in my eyes, but I can see why it is relegated to a footnote in the MCU.

Next up is Iron Man 2. Fuck this movie. I fucking hate this movie with every fiber of my being. It is an awful, bloated, unfocused, cluttered, and disrespectful mess of the film. This film is a fucking travesty in every single regard, except perhaps casting Don Cheadle as James Rhodes. The plot deals with the fallout of Tony outing himself in the last movie, with industrialist Justin Hammer breathing down his neck as congressional hearings try and force him to share his tech. There’s also a pissed off Russian named  Ivan Vanko who wants to get vengeance on him, oh yeah and Black Widow is also unceremoniously stuffed into the film alongside Nick Fury so this can basically act as a trailer for the upcoming movie about the Avengers. This was due to executive meddling, to the point where jon Favreau didn’t direct the third Iron Man. Marvel had bad problems with executive meddling in their early days.

This movie fucking offends me. First off, they waste Mickey Rourke as the villain Whiplash; Mickey Rourke was pissed with the execs making his character into a cartoonish villain when he was trying to play him as a human, an anti-villain… and so he proceeded to spew vitriol at everyone involved, meaning even if Whiplash survived it’s unlikely he’ll be back. So we wasted the one interesting villain, and who are we left with? Justin fucking Hammer, one of the most unfunny, annoying cunts in comic book movie history. He is easily one of the worst superhero movie villains ever made; he’s annoying, he’s cloying, and he sucks away screentime that could have been devoted to Whiplash. He’s an absolute waste of a villain.

Then we have Tony’s “Demon in a Bottle” arc, the arc where his rampant alcoholism threatens to ruin his life. This is a tragic part of the character, and the film was going to delve deeper into it. And hey, this would have been great! RDJ could add a lot to such an emotional arc due to his own experiences! Guess what they do instead?

They play Tony’s alcoholism for laughs. Have I mentioned I fucking hate this movie?

This movie sucks ass. It’s fucking awful and feels like a shitty trailer for better movies, which is exacerbated by how shoehorned in Black Widow and Fury are. The movie is a bloated, disgusting mess, crushed by bad decisions and executive meddling. It is easily the worst movie in the entire MCU, but believe me it has some competition… which I’ll get to soon enough.

After that travesty, we have Thor. Thor I can best describe as being a precursor to Wonder Woman in a lot of ways, which is reflected in the story to an extent: it’s about a god – er, or an ALIEN – who is banished by his father after being a disobedient shit. He gets sent on down to Earth, while his half-brother Loki plots and schemes back on Asgard. Okay, so it’s not entirely like Wonder Woman, but still, there are similarities.

The biggest similarity is probably Chris Hemsworth as Thor, who exudes a childlike, boyish charm as Thor when he is down on Earth among the mortals. It’s not the same charm Diana has in Wonder Woman, but it’s not wholly dissimilar. Their origins too, as mighty gods who go to live among mortals and fight alongside them, is likewise similar. Of course, there are big differences too: the biggest one is while Wonder Woman surrounds herself with a cool human supporting cast, Thor surrounds himself with one of the worst fucking supporting casts I’ve ever seen. Special mention must go to the cliically unfunny Kat Dennings, who sucks the joy out of every scene she’s in with her relentlessly awful attempts at humor. Natalie Portman is a bland, flat love interest who has almost no chemistry with Thor, a nd the old scientist guy is so generic I forgot his name. This is a damn shame, because his supporting cast on Asgard was fantastic, with Heimdall getting special mention for being an utter badass guardian played by Idris Elba. I’d much rather watch the cosmic adventures of Thor and his Asgardian buddies than him pal around with boring humans, but ah well.

Still, at least we have a cool villain this time around. Loki is pretty interesting, and Tom Hiddleston does an excellent job with him. He would only get better and more entertaining in later films, but this was solid groundwork to establish him. Hilariously, Roger Ebert hated this film and had this to say in his review: “The standards for comic book superhero movies have been established by Superman, The Dark Knight, Spider-Man 2 and Iron Man. In that company Thor is pitiful. Consider even the comparable villains (Lex Luthor, the Joker, Doc Ock and Obadiah Stane). Memories of all four come instantly to mind. Will you be thinking of Loki six minutes after this movie is over?" This is just one of the most hilariously ironic reviews I’ve ever seen, as Loki has come to be one of the best and most memorable Marvel villains (mostly due to the fact he doesn’t die).

Overall, I feel like this movie suffers from the same thing The Incredible Hulk did; it’s a darn good movie with a lot of value that also works as a standalone film, but it’s easy to see it as exceedingly average due to its faults. At least this movie got followed up… though… eh. We’ll get there soon enough. As it stands, Thor is a good if not great film that establishes Thor well enough.

Next up is one of my personal favorites, Captain America: The First Avenger. I love me some pulpy 1940s style two-fisted tales, and this delivers that fun in spades. Sometimes you just wanna see a handsome blonde man punch Nazis in the face, and boy does this film deliver. The story tells the tale of how wimpy but strong-hearted Steve Rogers goes from a scrawny little man into the gorgeous beefcake American hero that is Captain America, and how he fought against Red Skull and HYDRA.

This movie has a lot of silly Golden Age elements to it that would not work in any other context other than the most patriotic superhero’s first big movie. The biggest, of course, being Cap himself. He’s a character that is really hard to pull off… and yet, Chris Evans did it, and perfectly so. I’ll let this excerpt from TVTropes’s YMMV page for the movie speak for itself:

“It's always an issue to adapt Captain America to any medium, because a character who is actually living up to his own principles of righteousness can far too easily come off as straight-out Narm, and by all rights that's exactly what this film should be. But somehow it comes out as a genuine, heartwarming, awesome, tear-jerking, triumphal ode to true patriotism and human goodness instead, a feat that should have been impossible outside the Golden Age of Hollywood. The writers, director, and Chris Evans deserve a lot of credit for striking the right tone with Cap: The Herois a trope that's almost never played straight anymore, without veering into self-parody or coming off as self-righteous.”

I really could not have summed it up better myself.

Now, let us talk about the villain, Red Skull, who is played by a deliciously hammy Hugo Weaving. Hugo Weaving is an actor I love in nearly everything, because he always brings exactly what is needed, and boy does he do that here. He’s sick, depraved, truly evil, and just oh so delightfully hammy. The man is basically if M. Bison as played by Raul Julia was in a Marvel film, and that I think is the highest compliment you can give a hammy villain. The best part: While he is defeated in the end, his use of the Cosmic Cube seems to imply he could survive, leaving him open to return. The bad news: he hasn’t appeared since, and for years after, Hugo Weaving took a very negative attitude to the role, implying he only did it for money… until a 2016 interview showed he had softened considerably, and thought the role was awesome. Please Marvel. Bring this man back. We need more of his evil Nazi hamminess, especially since you fucking wasted Baron Strucker (we’ll get to that soon enough).

If I’m gonna criticize anything here, it’s gonna be the Howling Commandos. As a point of comparison, let us bring up Wonder Woman again; she too assembled a multi-national ragtag group of misfits, and all of them had plenty of character and development, and to top it off, it’s pretty obvious they were meant to be a substitute for the Commandos. But despite they, they’re actually BETTER, as the Howling Commandos barely have any presence at all in this film. I couldn’t tell you a single thing they did. They’re dull wastes of character space, and it’s a shame.

Still, overall, the movie is fantastic pulpy fun, and it ends on the biggest tearjerker of Phase 1. It’s a pretty simple film, and at times it can seem corny and silly, but like I said in Wonder Woman, it’s all part of the charm of these optimistic superhero films that harken back to the Golden Age. And hey, I find it hard to give a movie that subtly implies Indiana Jones is canon in the Marvel universe anything but two thumbs up.

Finally, after all the buildup, we come to the big conclusion of Phase 1: The Avengers. And after all the buildup, all the development, was it worth the wait? HELL FUCKING YES IT WAS WORTH THE WAIT! This movie kicks a whole lot of ass, and is one of the biggest, best, and flashiest superhero films ever made. This is the film where Thor, Cap, Iron Man, Hulk, Hawkeye, and Black Widow all unite to take down Loki and his alien army before they destroy the world; how much cooler does it get?

The movie’s greatest strength is just the sheer spectacle of it all; this kind of film was unheard of. Who would have thought a movie like this would exist when Iron Man first came out? Seeing all these huge actors as heroes onscreen together, fighting against Loki… it’s just amazing. The writing and humor here is actually really on point, which can be jarring after seeing the much denser and wackier dialogue of Age of Ultron; it makes one wonder if the execs forced Joss Whedon to add more humor to that film. All these pieces are in place, and it is just a joy to see them come together.

Even better, it’s not totally required to watch every movie before to understand all of the characters; the film does a pretty good job of establishing everyone. Sure, it HELPS, but you can get a feel for each one of the heroes just from this film. It especially helps with Bruce, since it’s Mark Ruffalo now in the role and no one really remembered Hulk’s one MCU solo outing anyway. Speaking of which, Mark Ruffalo is a highlight of the film; he’s the best Bruce Banner yet by far, and his Hulk is the best yet scene in film.

If there are any criticisms to go around, it’s that Cap doesn’t get to do as much, and a lot of the badass normal heroes kind of get shafted. Sure Cap, Widow, and Hawkeye do some cool shit, but it’s Hulk, Thor, and Iron Man who pull of the big, flashy, exciting moments in the big final fight. I get that you gotta make Hulk cool considering his lackluster past films, but do ya gotta steal Cap’s thunder to do it?

Overall though, The Avengers still holds up as a great, exciting superhero extravaganza and one of the best crossover films ever made, and it’s definitely one of the best MCU offerings. It has its flaws, but the sheer excitement and comic book joy of the film shine through, making it a must-see experience.

Phase 1 ended on such a high note… how do we kick off Phase 3? With another shitty Iron Man sequel, of course! To be totally fair, this movie is a hell of a lot better than Iron Man 2… but a lot of things are better than that, so it isn’t saying much. This time Tony Stark has the bright idea of antagonizing a terrorist organization known as the Ten Rings and their leader, the Mandarin. This backfires, and soon Tony is uncovering evil plots and shit.

This movie fucks up badly, especially in the villain department. Most of the enemy mooks are people injected with Extremis, a drug that gives them powers… the problem is, most of these mooks are disabled military vets who are now willingly and gleefully acting out terrorist attacks on their fellow Americans, up to and including a plot to assassinate the president. Look, I get sometimes it’s dumb to read into things in movies too much, but there’s really no way I can read this that isn’t pretty fucked.

As if that isn’t bad enough, we come to the issue with the Mandarin… and shockingly, it’s not about race or the “Yellow peril” origins of the character. For most of the movie, we are led to believe the Mandarin is played by Ben Kingsley, and he does an absolutely excellent job at making the Mandarin menacing, chilling, hammy, and intimidating all at once. He’s the perfect modern update of the villain… and sadly, he is not actually the Mandarin. He is an actor named Trevor Slattery. Slattery still manages to be one of the bright spots of the movie… something that does not extend to the true villain Killian, played by Guy Pearce. He’s an extremely boring, generic, and forgettable foe, and his claims that he is in fact the real Mandarin opened so many plotholes it’s no wonder they had in development a short where the real Mandarin sends out pissed off enforcers to call bullshit on his and Trevor’s schemes.

There’s just not much to recommend here. The movie is just a dull slog with a few bright spots here and there, and even the ending is bullshit with Tony seeming like he’s giving up superheroics for good… and then by his next appearance he’s back to being a hero with a new set of armor even though all his suits were destroyed in this movie. This one just sucks, though not as bad as the second one; there’s at least a bit more to like here.

And now we go from bad to worse, for we land on Thor: The Dark World, which is an incredibly awful movie. The plot involves evil elves invading Asgard looking for a magic MacGuffin to do things and… look, the only reason anyone bothered with this fucking movie is because Loki is in it, and by god, the forty minutes he’s in it are just fantastic and funny. His interactions with Thor are nothing short of hilarious, and the fact he actually comes out on top in this movie is intriguing. Props to the film for that at least.

Too bad the film sucks in nearly every other conceivable way. The major focus on the human characters is the worst of all; Natalie Portman is given a disproportionately large amount of screentime and hogs the plot, and Kat Dennings is back and as relentlessly unfunny as ever. She is like a cancerous tumor on an already foul film. And as if the humans aren’t bad and obnoxious enough, we have the villain, Malekith the Accursed, a dark elf who has some of the most generic and boring motives ever despite looking absolutely cool. He is one of the worst comic book movie villains ever, hands down, and it’s such a shame because he’s played by the usually amazing Christopher Eccleston. To say that he was wasted here is a crass understatement.

There’s not much else to say here; this is an awful, shitty movie. The saving graces are Loki’s screentime and maybe the final battle, but even that is interjected with some unfunny humor, and the lack of a solid villain really drags the film down. This film is utter crap, but at least there’s a bit to recommend here, which is more than I can say for Iron Man 2.

Well we’ve got two strikes down, so this is Marvel’s last swing… can they save their asses? I mean, this is a sequel, to Captain America: The First Avenger of all things, this couldn’t possibly be that good, right?

WRONG.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier is not only one of the very best films in the entire MCU, it is one of the greatest superhero movies ever made, and probably the greatest adaptation of Metal Gear Solid we’ll ever get. I’m not kidding, everything’s there: a genetically modified super soldier fighting against a shadowy conspiracy that wants to use a giant war machine to attack the world’s population, all the while fighting a crazy cyborg version of their best friend. Also there’s a fight in an elevator and an evil AI that has been manipulating the world from behind the scenes. If you can’t already tell, I fucking love this movie.

A big plus is that this is less straight-up superhero action for the most part, and more an action thriller. This lets Steve use his badass super soldier skills to their fullest extent against armies of armed mooks. Even more amazingly, this movie does a good job at making Black Widow likable and interesting, and she has very good chemistry with Steve. Best of all, though, is the introduction of Anthony Mackie as Falcon, Cap’s new best buddy and a badass hero in his own right who helps solve this big HYDRA conspiracy. And despite his limited screentime, Sebastian Stan makes an impression as the incredible, unstoppable, hardcore titular Winter Soldier, AKA Bucky Barnes, Cap’s long-lost friend.

This movie is the one all Marvel sequels would be judged by afterwards. Well, for a while at least; this movie’s own sequel managed to top it somehow. But yes, this movie is absolutely fucking fantastic, a modern classic of the superhero genre, and one of the best Marvel sequels ever made. Not bad, especially since unlike Iron Man or Thor the original movie is not the biggest or most critically acclaimed Marvel film (Though t still got a mostly positive reception). The fact it managed to produce a sequel superior to the first while Thor and Iron Man’s sequels ended up being shit is nothing short of impressive.

After this movie came Guardians of the Galaxy, which I reviewed recently on Michael After Midnight. Needless to say, it’s an amazing film, akin to a modern-day Star Wars, and I truly love it… though at this point, I fully admit its sequel is far superior. If you want a general idea of my thoughts on the film, just click the link there.

So how do you follow up two incredibly epic game-changing movies? With an Avengers sequel! Joss Whedon is back, the cast is all here, what could possibly go wrong?

A whole fucking lot.

This movie had tons of executive meddling, so much it drove Whedon nuts. But executive meddling can’t take all the blame for the shoddy script and the piss-poor mishandling of characters. One of my biggest regrets is saying this was one of the better MCU films in my review; it most definitely is not. But on the other hand, unlike the Iron Man sequels or Thor: The Dark World, there really is a lot of genuinely good stuff in this movie. Look at the plot: Tony, desperate to keep the world safe, creates an AI that ends up going rogue… that AI being Ultron. Now they gotta stop this AI before it wipes out humanity. There’s a lot of good potential in this story! But sadly, this potential is not fully realized.

Let me talk about the good stuff first. The big draw is the action setpieces, which are a bit more spectacular than before… or they would be the big draw, but since the story is so messy, it’s hard to care too much. At least there’s more action scenes. The REAL draw here is  this stretch of time where the Avengers are at Hawkeye’s cabin; this lets all of the characters interact with each other in a close space, and see how everyone plays off each other. It’s absolutely fantastic, and it’s a shame the whole movie isn’t as tightly written as these scenes. Hell, they manage to make Black Widow, who tends to be a dull and uninteresting character, more human with a bit of tragic backstory.

The new characters here are fascinating as well; Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch, Ulysses Klaue, Vision… all of these characters are pretty interesting and cool. In concept, at least. While Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver get a solid amount of screentime since they’re working for Ultron for most of the film before switching sides, by the film’s end Quicksilver is killed. Vision only appears immediately before the final fight, Klaue is just a cameo (albeit a really good one) to set up Black Panther… none of these characters really feel organically added, they feel crammed in to set up future films, leading to Age of Ultron feeling like a trailer for better movies to come.

Look at the original Avengers movie; you could jump into that from just about anywhere in your Marvel viewing experience and get it, and they don’t throw too much new at you. Here, they’re flinging all sorts of new shit at you that you pretty much NEED to watch the other movies to really get this one. Hell, and even that doesn’t help too much, since there are still things like Thor’s weird, nonsensical vision and Bruce and Natasha’s out of nowhere romance.

Of course, the absolute worst part of this film is the absolutely horrendous script. It’s not entirely bad, but there are lines like “She’s weird and he runs fast” (describing Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver, respectively) and Black Widow going “Beep beep” while she rides through a crowd and Tony’s infamous “prima noctis” joke… the movie is just so dense with garbage writing like this that it’s impossible to take seriously and it deflates the tension when it constantly happens in battles. Now, there are still some good and genuinely funny moments, like when Vision lifts the hammer or Klaue’s entire scene, but there’s plenty of cringe inducing stuff that proves when it comes to Whedon’s writing, lightning DOES strike twice… do you want to know what happens when Whedon’s writing is hit by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

Now, finally, let’s talk about the villains… oh, sorry, VILLAIN, they decide to anticlimactically kill Baron Strucker offscreen after the opening, so no point in discussing him! Ultron is the biggest saving grace of the film… as well as yet another example of Marvel getting rid of their most interesting villains. Ultron has solid motives, an interesting plan, and with more fleshing out could have served as an incredible reoccuring antagonist… so of course he is blown up by the end of the film, because his name isn’t Loki. HOWEVER, everything is ambiguous enough that he could realistically return; guy had to hide a backup somewhere, yeah? James Spader did such a good job at making Ultron both creepy and charismatic it would be a crime to not use his talents again, though since Marvel isn’t exactly begging Hugo Weaving to be Red Skull again at the moment, I won’t hold my breath. What makes this a bit more bitter is that, overall, Ultron was the best villain in all of Phase 2.

Age of Ultron is a film that can only be described as messy. Honestly? I’d say it’s a bit worse than Iron Man 3. That film may not be very good, but at least it was a bit more focused and the humor didn’t clog every single action scene and they didn’t try and cram fifty new characters to act as teasers for better movies into the plot. This film actually has a lot in common with Batman v Superman; the story is cluttered and unfocused and choked by the tone of the rest of the film, there are superfluous cameos and character insertions that are advertising better films to come, and obviously both are lukewarm superhero crossover films. Age of Ultron has a better villain, however, while Batman v Superman has much better fight scenes, and also Batman doesn’t make an awkward and forced rape joke so that’s good. In all honesty, I’d rather watch Batman v Superman over this; that movie may be dark and dour, but I can handle grim and gritty more than I can handle horribly painful and unfunny jokes ruining most every action scene. Age of Ultron is a seriously mediocre movie, and it’s just so depressing after how good the original Avengers film was… what a note to end Phase 2 on…

...Ha! Psyche! There’s still another movie, bitches! Here comes motherfucking Ant-Man to save the day! Whoever could have thought that Ant-Man of all characters would redeem Phase 2 by delivering a quirky, genuinely funny action-crime thriller? This story has Scott Lang, a former robber who is trying to go straight for the sake of his daughter, get roped in to becoming Ant-Man after breaking and entering into Hank Pym’s house. Ant-Man has to steal research from Pym’s former company before the new, corrupt owner Darren Cross abuses the research.

So this film has great setup, and it’s a refreshing change of pace for the most part. The film is mainly about the training to become Ant-Man and the heist itself, leading to a bit of a different tone from the usual superhero film. Yes, of course there’s a big fight with a supervillain at the end, but it’s so quirky and hilarious that it still fits the tone of the rest of the film. That’s another great quality this film has; it’s quirky and humorous while not being obnoxiously so like the last film. A great addition is one of Scott Lang’s sidekicks, Luis, an incredibly enthusiastic criminal with quite bit of hidden depths and an impressive skill for telling stories.

But even more impressive than the quirkiness and the interesting change of pace from other superhero films is just how this movie takes things and makes you like them, things no one would ever expect to like. Hank Pym for example; Pym has long been a subject of ridicule among comic fans, mostly due to an infamous moment where he hit his wife Janet. After this movie and Michael Douglas’s powerful and moving performance in scenes such as when he talks about how his wife died… well, those “Wifebeater Hank Pym” jokes can go the way of most of the MCU’s villains. Douglas did an excellent job at making Hank a character with flaws who is still sympathetic. And if that’s not enough at how this movie makes you love things you’d never expect to, well, this film just may make you cry over the death of an ant. No, I’m not kidding.

Now, if there’s one thing I can really criticize here, it’s the villain. Darren Cross/Yellowjacket is not bad by any means, but like a lot of MCU villains he falls into the trap of having the same superpowers as the hero, which is frankly an overplayed concept. Look at the great villains of the MCU like Loki, Ultron, or Ego; all of them had powers that gave them an edge or were noticeably different from the heroes they fought. Cross shrinks just like Ant-Man does, just like Obadiah Stane had a giant robot suit, Abomination was a big roaring monster, and Kaecilius was a powerful wizard. None of these villains are really bad per se, but still. At least that final fight is incredible, with the concept of two men with shrinking powers played for all it c an be played for and so many great comedic moments coming from it.

Ant-Man totally makes up for how lackluster and unfunny Age of Ultron was. It’s genuinely funny without clogging every scene with jokes, the action is utilized excellently, the protagonists are all likable and enjoyable, and the film feels a lot more fun and fresh than anyone would expect. This is definitely one of the most shocking success stories of the MCU, but that success is nothing less than well-deserved.

And now we enter into Phase 3, and as I have reviewed all the films, I will link to their reviews.

First up is Civil War, the third Captain America film, and the movie that Age of Ultron should have been. It still does bring in some new blood, but they feel far less forced and more organically woven into the plot. The jokes and the action are all great, and the villain is actually interesting. Click here to see what I thought of it, and also what I thought of Batman v Superman (I may have to re-review that movie as well…).

Next up is Doctor Strange, which holds the distinction of perhaps being the most visually impressive superhero film ever made. The trippy visuals really help to make the film, and Benedict Cumberbatch puts in an excellent performance, as does Mads Mikkelson, who redeems what would otherwise be a flat villain. Click here for the full review of the movie.

Then we have the most recent of the bunch, my favorite film of all time, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. I won’t say anything here, just click the link for the full review.

The Marvel Cinematic Universe is constantly growing and expanding, creating new and fascinating stories that their characters can inhabit. These films are some of the only modern superhero films that truly embrace their comic book roots and play them for all they’re worth. Coming up soon are films such as Thor: Ragnarok, Black Panther, Avengers: Infinity War, Ant-Man & The Wasp, Captain Marvel, and untitled Avengers, Doctor Strange, and Spider-Man sequels as well as volume three of the Guardians of the Galaxy story. We can only hope that, upon their release, I have wonderful things to say about them. But considering the high quality of most of the movies here, especially as time went on… I don’t think there’s any reason to be afraid. Marvel’s the king of superhero cinema right now, and I see no signs they’ll be giving up that crown any time soon.

[freebestbettingtips]

La Liga 2018/19 Tactical Analysis: Barcelona vs EIbar

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La Liga 2018/19 Tactical Analysis: Barcelona vs EIbar

Artwork by @chapulana

La Liga returned to the Catalan capital this weekend as Barcelona hosted Eibar at the Camp Nou on a lovely Sunday afternoon. As much as the guests showed energy and pure will, in the end, it did not matter much as they fell to the league leaders in a rather one-sided fashion.

That at least is the story that the scoreline has told us after the game. As if the case more often than not, things are much more complicated than that, and they indeed were in this clash of the first and 16th-placed teams in Spain.

This tactical analysis will use statistics and insight to determine how Barcelona overcame the initial resurgence of the away team and secured the three points in a sweet 3-0 victory.

Line ups

Barcelona (4-3-3)

Starting XI: Ter Stegen – Sergi, Pique, Lenglet, Alba – Rakitić, Busquets, Arthur – Messi, Suarez, Coutinho

Bench: Cillessen, Murillo, Semedo, Vidal, Aleña, Denis, Dembele

Coach: Ernesto Valverde

Eibar (4-2-3-1)

Starting XI: Riesgo – Peña, Bigas, Arbilla, Cote – Orellana, Escalante, Diop, Cucurella – Jordan, Sergi Enrich

Bench: Dmitrovic, Sergio A., Cardona, Oliveira, De Blasis, Kike, Pere Milla

Coach: Jose Mendilibar

Barcelona’s set-up

After a week of heavy rotation, Barcelona were back to their usual set-up as Ernesto Valverde opted for a more risk-free formation. The Ant fielded his gala XI with all the familiar faces gracing the pitch of the Catalan fortress.

Still, there were two differences to the Blaugrana puzzle this time around: Arthur Melo and Philippe Coutinho were back in the starting line-up, leaving Arturo Vidal and Ousmane Dembele on the bench in the process. The other matter was the choice of the right-back, with Semedo dropped in favour of Sergi Roberto once again.

The team operated in a 4-3-3 system but swapped to last season’s favoured 4-4-2 as the game entered its last phases.

Eibar’s set-up

Eibar have not tasted the sweetness of a victory for seven straight games having drawn the previous five before this away defeat. Still, Mendilibar made a couple of changes on his visit to Catalunya.

Bigas returned to the back four, and Barcelona boy Marc Cucurella was also in the starting line-up, playing against the team of his youth. With Charles injured, Enrich was the sole striker with Jordan playing close by just behind him. Escalante was also on the pitch, operating just in front of the backline.

Eibar swapped through multiple systems, but on paper they chose to play in a flexible and interchangeable 4-2-3-1 formation.

Early resurgence

Many would maybe describe the first half of the game as slow or even boring. In essence, that wouldn’t be far off the mark, but it wasn’t without its moments. Eibar were actually the first to strike, albeit without palpable result.

The guests truly took the game to Barcelona and decided to stay true to their game plan. Pressing the opposition, staying extremely high up the pitch, contesting possession and being offensively minded did bring them some control, but did not yield the results they wanted or needed.

Eibar implement an extremely high defensive line, contesting possession aggressively.

Notice how Eibar contest the ball by playing an extremely high defensive line, right in the face of the opposition. Suarez is completely isolated and other players are pressing whoever has the ball at the moment.

This was also not a one-off at all. That was the clear plan, and the guests stuck to their guns. Whenever Barcelona decided to play out from the back, Eibar immediately pressurised Ter Stegen, prompting a goal kick or hoping for a mistake.

The goal was, of course, to get the ball in the Catalan’s own half and ideally in their first third of the pitch. Usually, this tactic is implemented by Barcelona as well but was used to a really high standard by the away team, resulting in 104 losses, and 45% (38 in total) of them in the host’s own areas.

Barcelona’s losses of the ball and the areas in which they happened. On the right, players with the most losses are shown.

Here, once again, Eibar press extremely high up the pitch, making Pique clear the ball towards Jordi Alba without the much-needed precision. This costs Barcelona possession and provides Eibar with a great chance in an already dangerous position.

It seemed like whenever the Catalans tried building from the back, Eibar’s press was immediately triggered, for better or worse.

Whenever Barcelona’s backline received the ball, Eibar would press, looking for a mistake like in the example below or for a simple clearance, preventing further build-up from the back.

The sleeping giant

Eibar were always really compact in defence. As a result, they stayed extremely narrow, leaving little to no space in midfield for Barcelona to make progress. This did force the hosts down the wings, the left mostly, as the right was rarely visited.

Sergi Roberto overlapped but not nearly as much as Jordi Alba on the other side. With Lionel Messi cutting inside, the right wing was not of any real threat to the away team. Still, even though Eibar succeeded at somewhat neutralising the Argentine, the Catalan side had more than enough firepower to compensate.

We are talking about Philippe Coutinho, in particular. The Brazilian has spent a prolonged time on the bench as of late with his place stolen by Ousmane Dembele. Even after a lacklustre Copa del Rey midweek game though, Coutinho got another chance to shine and took it with both hands.

With one key pass, one big chance created and six duels won, the Brazilian danced around the pitch, dribbling (7/7 attempts successfully) and creating chaos in the opposition’s lines. His most notable action was for the first goal.

Even though the midfield was extremely congested, Barcelona found their way through with a lovely combination, especially from Coutinho and Suarez.

Even though the midfield was really dense, Barcelona’s personnel found their way through with some intricate passing, most notably between Coutinho and Luis Suarez. A couple of first-touch passes, back heels and a nice through ball was all it was needed to break through Eibar’s lines.

Fancy footwork and a superb finish give Barcelona the lead.

The Uruguayan finished the chance brilliantly, netting his and Barcelona’s first goal of the night. Unfortunately, that was, more or less, the last thrilling thing of the first half as Barcelona was happy to head to the break with a one-goal advantage. Eibar slowed down after their initial surge of energy as Barca regained control of possession and brought the half to a slow end.

The game breaks apart

Upon returning back to the pitch, the game still felt far from being decided as the away team continued exactly where they had left off in the first 45 minutes. Barcelona’s right side was not really active offensively but had to be vigilant defensively at all times. Cucurella pinned Roberto down and tried to beat his man at all times, but similarly to the rest of the team, he lacked the finishing touches.

The wings were still very much the focus of their attacks as they tried to find their wide men with long diagonal balls into the final third. Luckily for the hosts, their centre-back pairing was solid enough to keep the ball away from Marc-Andre ter Stegen.

Once Ousmane Dembele and Arturo Vidal were introduced Barcelona were ready to really hurt Eibar. With their high defensive line, the pacy Frenchman was literally built for such a game.

The Catalans switched to a 4-4-2 system on paper but in reality, Suarez was the only out-and-out striker. He had Messi right behind him, and was backed up by Coutinho and Dembele on each wing respectively.

On paper, Barcelona switched to a 4-4-2 but in reality, Suarez was the lone striker with a deadly trio right behind him: Messi as a number 10, and Coutinho and Dembele as wide men.

After Sergio Busquets left the pitch, Ivan Rakitić was once again seen in that defensive midfield position. Coutinho also began operating a bit deeper down the pitch, helping in the centre alongside the newly introduced Vidal.

Soon, Barcelona ran away with the game after some more Lionel Messi and Luis Suarez magic. The Argentine scored his 400th European top-flight goal, while he and the Uruguayan alone have a combined total of 31 this season. In fact, they have scored more goals than all other La Liga teams bar Sevilla and Celta Vigo, with those two only managing to equal the Barcelona duo’s tally.

Conclusion

For a good part of the game, Eibar were pretty much still in it, contesting, fighting and biting back at the Catalans. The stats themselves go in their favour but alas, it was not really enough to get a point; not even close.

Now we get back to some Copa del Rey action as Barcelona have a lead to overthrow at the Camp Nou. Fighting on all fronts, especially staying dominant in the domestic league, has never been more difficult and that makes the competition that much more attractive.

Long may it continue.

If you love tactical analysis, then you’ll love the digital magazines from totalfootballanalysis.com – a guaranteed 100+ pages of pure tactical analysis covering topics from the Premier League, Serie A, La Liga, Bundesliga and many, many more. Pre-order your copy of the January issue for just ₤4.99 here, or even better sign up for a ₤50 annual membership (12 monthly issues plus the annual review) right here.

[andrewuttaro]

New Look Sabres: GM 30 - PHI - Revenge of the Flyers

Every generation of Sabres fans have their own reason to hate the Philadelphia Flyers. For men and women of a certain age the 1975 Stanley Cup Final was the peak of a rivalry steeped in some great hockey. For another generation the Eric Lindros was a special kind of sinister. For another younger generation still the heartbreak of Danny Briere going to Philadelphia for an even better stretch of his career rages against the Flyers. When the two teams last met the Sabres were on an unreal tear. The seventh win in an eventual ten game winning streak, the Sabres caved in the Flyers in the first period with four goals! It was Thanksgiving Eve and one of those games that rallied the fan base, assembled there in Key Bank Center and watching from across creation. Their recent struggles may have allowed us to forget this Flyers team has built up a bit of talent base amongst both the forward core and the blue line ranks. Nonetheless the Philadelphia Flyers continue a bit of a soul-searching period not exactly knowing if their identity will be the brutish strong men of the past or the fast paced deke masters of the present. The main reason the Buffalo Sabres enter his game on a four game losing streak is the drying up of secondary scoring. That’s literally it. You can talk about playing to your identity but the only really discernible difference between the one goal wins that defined the winning streak and the one goal losses that have come after is the lack of goals from guys not named Skinner, Eichel or Reinhart. There was plenty of secondary scoring the last time the Sabres met the Flyers; maybe today’s game was the chance to see that again although that’s certainly not how it panned out at first in this afternoon tilt with every generation of Sabres fan’s hated rival.

Phil Housley often talks about a “shot mentality” after games, wins or losses. The untrained ear may think it’s a commentary on a Jack Eichel not shooting the puck when he’s got a clear look at the goal. For one, this season’s Jack Eichel is a little different given the variable monster Jeff Skinner on his wing and two, the shot mentality is how a defensive minded coach talks about shooting from everyone down the roster. This game saw shots. Right out of the gates you noticed Jeff Skinner, Tage Thompson and yes, Lawrence Pilut shooting first on glorious opportunities. Even with Matt Tennyson and Nathan Beaulieu at third pairing D, this game looked like a shot clinic from the Sabres. In the first period it was Captain Jack Eichel who scored the goal shots, the first a classic Jack Eichel top shelf slapper at 4:04. Sam Reinhart got the assist while the goal Jack Eichel later scored at 12:02 of the first was assisted by Lawrence Pilut who now has his first NHL point and looked strong as we could’ve hoped. Unfortunately it wasn’t even a minute later when a defensive zone faceoff lead to a very quick Flyers goal by James van Reimsdyk. You can blame that play on Tage Thompson but that was an unlucky, rare setup that lead to an unlucky, rare mistake. It was however followed by the Flyers closing the gap in shots through the rest of that period.  

The Sabres were not bad in the second but the officiating was. I hate being the guy to call out the refs but Rasmus Dahlin landed a clean check on Wayne Simmons after a series of non-calls that drew boos from the crowd. Luckily the Flyers PP was done before Ivan Provorov evened the score at two for the Flyers. The second period saw the Sabres regain some momentum and a few good shots but the Flyers took the edge in shots this game while the refs took consistently ignored potential calls from the orange and white sweaters. Casey Mittelstadt even showed some frustration going to the bench. Jeff Skinner had a great opportunity streaking in during the last minute of the period and was mounted like a deer by Jori Lethtera. While the Sabres maintained a competitive stance throughout the first forty minutes the same was not true of the final frame. The third period was a bloodbath. There is no way to charitably put this: the last period of this game was a shitshow.

The Sabres finally get a powerplay and it looks like maybe something can be done with it when Claude Giroux gets away and scores unassisted. 3-2 Flyers; ok, don’t panic this is just a lead change. The Sabres comeback machine will surely… Wayne Simmons, hmm… that’s a bigger deficit to overcome: 4-2 Flyers. Hockey gods have mercy, we’re being caved in in shots now. Uh oh, these guys look like they’re running away from this game now… DALE WEISE? The guy that dude in Montreal got plastic surgery to look like (For real look it up)? What kind of shit is this… AHH, it’s the SABS! The Sabs are back! I thought the win streak killed them once and for all! Travis Konecny!? Don’t you think your point is made? Geez, you got your revenge, sweet voice of RJ, have mercy! It was just a fun game before Thanksgiving, why do you have to be like this? Why do you need revenge!? By the time Nathan Beaulieu is fighting Radko Gudas in the last minute of play I was well into some Saturday errands. Hearing 6-2 Flyers was almost unbelievable over the radio call. I didn’t hear boos but wow, that third period was just an utter abdication. The reality of this result isn’t just that it’s a regulation loss against a team you should have beaten. It’s also the concrete signal that we got to talk.

We got complacent in that win streak didn’t we? Some of us, me included, began to think this team is a contender in the Eastern Conference. It is still very clear this team can bank points and make the playoffs, the corner is still turned but a five game losing streak is a little reminiscent of days gone by. That third period was a visitation of the Sabs and in spite of a four day rest Buffalo just looked out of it. Let’s get a little deeper, this game isn’t a referendum on the overall make of this team going forward, perhaps they were due to lay an egg because they certainly did. No, let’s remember a rash of injuries, particularly on the blue line has struck while the powerplay has gone from bad to worse. Yea, sure there was some selfish play in the Florida game and Nashville games but before tonight those were the only two games in this stretch since the winning streak ended that I really felt were all that bad. Now it’s clear the lack of secondary scoring is a problem not an annoyance. Time to crack out the old Housley roster blender we saw in the first twenty games. I’d hate to see that neat second line torn apart but this ain’t it right now, Chief.

The Sabres played okay to good in the two periods I watched so I would like to formally blame my need to run errands and do homework for this Sabres loss. Thank God I write this little blog because evidently when I don’t watch this team they suck ass. Win against LA Tuesday or we got a real catastrophe on our hands, boys. I’ll be watching because lord knows if I don’t we might see the Sabs come back again. You better like, comment and share this blog too just to be safe. We should be thankful this wasn’t a night game so we had time to make better on our Saturday.

Thanks for reading.

P.S. I normally like to give players the benefit of the doubt but this game really cemented a strong distaste for Matt Tennyson in yours truly.

[placetobenation]

**I was born in 1990 and became a wrestling fan in 1996. Shawn Michaels was my first favorite wrestler, and I watched every minute of the Attitude Era religiously. Needless to say, 90s WWF is my wrestling foundation. I have heard about the mythic era of the NWA and the territories, (and of course I’ve seen bits and pieces) but never truly steeped myself in all its glory. Follow my fresh/ignorant breakdown of classic wrestling!**

Buddy Landel vs Charlie Fulton We start immediately in the midst of the match. Two exchange arm holds until Fulton gets the upper hand and controls nearly the entire match by cutting off Buddy’s comebacks. Eventually, Landel hits a backdrop and gut-wrench suplex out of nowhere for the win.

Match Notes This wasn’t particularly engaging, and really only seem to serve as background noise for Bob and Davy to hype what’s to come, including an appearance by someone named Ninja.

Winner: Buddy Landel via pin Rating:  ½*

Jake Roberts, accompanied by Wahoo Mcdaniel, is here to air his grievances with Ole and Gene Anderson, who have apparently been using underhanded methods in their matches. Jake sounds genuinely upset about everything and really does an incredible job of giving a subdued promo that shows the whole mess has him sullen and troubled.

Jake Roberts and Paul Jones vs Ole Anderson Super Destroyer The match starts with some good back and forth action and quick tags, followed by a nice heat segment on Jake’s arm. He slips out to make a hot tag to Jones, but the Destroyer sneaks a foreign object from his tights for the nefarious win.

Match Notes Nothing spectacular, but some solid action. Jake makes an awesome face in peril with great selling and executes an excellent move to sneak away for the tag, rolling away from Ole’s elbow drop.  And to top it off, he dives for the tag to really sell his desperation. He’s always finding cool ways to transition between segments within a match. Jake has always been known for his solid psychology, and these matches prove that he developed that reputation for a reason.

Winners: Super Destroyer and Ole Anderson via pin Rating:**

We cut back to Jake, who hammers home his disgust. He reassures the audience that he won’t cry, which isn’t absurd, because it looks like he seriously might in this promo. A great example of Jake’s method of delivering an excellent, intense promo without having to scream and yell like a lunatic. This kid is going places.

The tag champs Ole and Gene Anderson are out next, and I’m a little confused because Ole suggests that Gene was actually the masked man in the tag match. Regardless, Gene Anderson looks like Tom Hanks soaked in bourbon, and he has a constant eye and neck twitch, which could either be him selling his character or an actual medical condition. With Ole constantly running his mouth and Gene just being gruff, the Minnesota Wrecking Crew have a cool dynamic.

Jimmy Valiant vs Ricky Harris The boy from New York sweeps Harris a few times and shakes his keister to celebrate. Harris’s strikes are not enough to stop an elbow drop from the “cranked up” Valiant.

Match Notes My dad has a lot of friends who look like Jimmy Valiant. That’s all I got for this one.

Winner: Jimmy Valiant via pin Rating: ½ *

Jimmy Holiday and the Ninja are out for a pre match interview. Holiday introduces Ninja, who is NOT Kabuki, by reading an article from the local newspaper that outlines the characteristics of ninjas, including that they can “gyrate like acrobats.” Ninja appears to be holding some kind of relic–possibly a ninja insignia? I should read the rest of Holiday’s very informative article to find out.

The Ninja vs Mike Davis Ninja drags Davis around the ring, laying in the occasional chops and kicks. Davis musters up a few strikes that don’t phase Ninja at all, and he finishes poor Mike with a diving headbutt from the middle rope.

Match Notes Not a whole lot to talk about as far the match goes, but I have to figure out this Kabuki deal. It would appear that Ninja is the same guy as Kabuki from a few weeks ago, but due to my ignorance, I did not realize the Kabuki I was seeing was actually a Kabuki imposter. Boy, do I feel like a fool who needs to brush up on his Kabuki knowledge. I cannot believe Mid-Atlantic would betray my trust like this.

Winner: Ninja via pin Rating: ½ *

Announcing Aside Bob actually calls Ninja’s headpiece a “head thing.” I love how inquisitive they are about each wrestler’s motivation, always pondering: Is it for competitive advantage? Is it for fashion? Also, I must say David is starting to grow on me a little. I’ve started to understand that some of his stammering is fine and shows his personality. We’ll see how it goes.

Mid-Atlantic Champion Ricky Steamboat comes out to offer some analysis of Ninja. Even though his chops are devastating, his attire looks like Halloween come early. Apparently Steamboat was breathing fire even at this point in his career with these sick burns. Leroy Brown pops in to call out Slaughter, or, as Leroy dubs him, Gomer Pyle. The faces are just letting the barbs fly tonight.

Kris Markoff vs NWA TV Champion Ron Bass These two have a nice quick brawl that never really slows down. Markoff put in quite a bit of offense until Bass gained some momentum, only for Lord Alfred hop up on the apron for disqualification.

Match Notes I love that Markoff is just from “Russia.” No town, or area—just Russia, which is enough to gain some considerable heat. Not sure how Shania feels, but Bass never impressed me much in WWF, and he hasn’t done much to show he was much better here.

Winner: Ron Bass via disqualification Rating: *

NWA US Champion Sgt. Slaughter vs Don Kernodle Kernodle hangs with Slaughter for a few minutes, even getting Sarge to sell some arm work, before eating some vicious slams and never gaining control again. He fights for a few seconds in the cobra clutch, then slowly fades out. Slaughter’s offense looks brutal as always.

Match Notes During the match, Bob and David mention that Jim Nelson has been standing ringside at attention wearing camouflage.

More importantly, there is a strange moment during the match where, for a split second, the tape cuts to a man in a year sweater speaking directly to the camera. Maybe someone at the office decided to tape over some daytime TV for this episode. Regardless of why, I need to know the identify of this mysterious man. Really, if you know, please tell me.

Winner: Sgt. Slaughter via submission Rating: *

We end with the Carousel of Promos. First, Piper, draped in a sport coat with the sleeves dangling, opting to wear it like a cape, gives a quick general tirade against the faces. Next, we get an explanation for Nelson being ringside. Slaughter says that all the wrestlers have been asking to be Marines, and he has found himself a trainee in Jim Nelson. Slaughter immediately has him drop and do push ups.

Nelson does a good job of playing an obedient grunt. I wonder if he was picked for this spot due to the size of shaved dome. Also, Slaughter could end the droughts of the 1930s with the spit that fluies from his mouth during these interviews.

Finally, Ivan Koloff closes the show by saying that if he faced Ron Bass, there would be no disqualification because he would wear him out. Koloff sounds like the Russian Cookie Monster.

End of Show Notes

MVP: Jake Roberts He didn’t have much competition on this show, so it didn’t take much to have both the best match and promo under his belt. I would really like to see a consistent feud for Cowboy Jake moving forward.

If You Only Watch One Match: Jake Roberts and Paul Jones vs Ole Anderson Super Destroyer

Best Nonwrestling Segment: Jake Promo

Overall Impression: This episode just felt mostly flat and uneventful. It didn’t feel like much was being built, and many of the matches felt lame, especially the mid-show one-two punch of a Ninja and Jimmy Valiant squashes. Definitely the weakest outing thus far.

Rating: 4/10

So long for now!