#its wild. i was in an uber a couple weeks ago and my driver and i got to talking about lgbt stuff | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

preciouslandmermaid · 2 years ago

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| best I’ve ever had | carmy x f!reader (curvy/vampire)

Note: All fics will be reader/canon-character with no use of Y/N. Generally, I don’t focus on many details about the reader because I want them to be as much of a “blank slate” as possible. So, this is my first ever time writing a curvy/body diverse reader. I would love to hear to your feedback. In this case—Reader is the vampire because that felt more fun to me. (Where ARE all the body diverse vampires tho???) Also – eat the rich. Literally.

prompt: vampire au/accidental stimulation/almost getting caught. | pairing: carmy berzatto/f!reader!curvy/body diverse | warnings: explicit sexual content. vampire!reader can do whatever she wants.

Bodegas and greasy diners, 24-hour gas stations and burger joints, nightclubs, and bars. Colleges, parks, and stacked-up apartment buildings. New York City thunders with life. The city that never sleeps. The hunting ground that never empties.

It’s all too easy to get a quick waitressing job that pays under the table and doesn’t ask you for a social security number. After centuries of immortality, you’ve learned to be careful. You don’t feed on anyone you work with. You’ve got your sights on bigger, richer fish. The restaurant down the block is blue-blood expensive, winning accolades and praise, with reservations that stretch six months in advance.

A few months ago, you followed a couple who had eaten there. After draining them dry, you were hooked. There’s a common misconception that the media gets wrong about vampires. You’re not wild, savage creatures. You care about what the blood tastes like. And quite frankly, the Uber driver you drank last week was a poor, poor substitute for the nutrient rich, expensive blood you drank from the restaurant.

Tonight, you changed into one of your finest dresses. It hugged your hips and inched up your generous thighs whenever you sat down; very nearly revealing the plush underside curve of your ass. The color complimented your skin. It’s a risky, attention-getting outfit considering its nearly December. You almost walk to the restaurant, but a whim draws you to the subway.

You enjoy the heat of bodies, their sweat, and pheromones, all packed within a metal tube like a sardine can. Your mouth tingles with anticipation. You shoulder yourself among them, a killer in plain sight, and grin—your canine teeth sharp—at the appreciative gazes that men and women throw toward you. The subway car crowds. Slush and mud slicks the floor into a workplace hazard.

Everyone sways backward an inch, bumping into each other, as the train pulls from the station with a hiss of hydraulics and a droning, automated voice advising all the idiots to stand clear of the doors. You are immovable. Your balance impeccable. However, whoever is behind you isn’t so steady on their feet. They catch themselves on the bar near your arm, but you feel the front of their jeans brush against your ass.

A scent wafts through the air—onion, smoke, and heat. Your nostrils flare. The smell is familiar. It’s the same scent that permeates the fancy restaurant. You adjust your position slyly and the next station stop makes his (it’s definitely a male) crotch bump into you yet again. You focus on his heartbeat amidst the fifty-or-more other humans. It skips when he touches you. If you close your eyes, you can imagine the blood traveling to his neck, his face, and below his navel.

Bodies shift as people disembark and shuffle around to make impossible room for the other travelers. You use the opportunity to nudge yourself closer. You are intimately familiar with every inch of these cars after decades in the city. The stranger is pinned into an awkward corner of space with no where to move.

He adjusts his weight from one foot to the other and you’re delighted to hear the hiss of breath he exhales through his teeth. Oh, he is tightly wound. You bite your lower lip. You never could resist a good game. But the game is only fun when it’s played by two people.

At the next stop, you turn around to face him. His face is bright, beautiful red, flushed and ripe for your fangs. Your full chest presses into his and there’s a soft, tantalizing sensation across your nipples when you dress rubs against them. He’s avoiding your gaze. Cute.

You stare at his pulse below his jaw. A few seconds pass before the train slows and an annoyed, crackled voice announces that they’re going to be stopped for a few minutes because another train is delayed.

“Rotten luck.” You say, sighing, “I thought the late-night trains ran express to avoid this type of issue.”

He blinks, confused, before realizing that you’re talking to him.

He clears his throat, “Y-yeah.”

You introduce yourself, suffusing your voice with temptation and honey.

“Carmy.” His voice is rough around the edges. You fall into a pleasant, benign conversation with him. He’s going to work. He’s a chef. He works at the fancy restaurant. He’s lived in the city for a few years. He went to school all over the place. You try not to stare at his pulse for too long.

The train resumes. Your hunt begins in earnest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At your stop, you intentionally lose Carmy in the crowd (or rather, you make it seem like he’s lost you). In truth, you have his scent, you have his name, and his face. He didn’t know it, but he was underneath your claw, and he could squirm all he liked but would never be released.

You’re not going to poach for rich assholes drunk on expensive wine and excellent food tonight. Your plan has changed. You’re going to the source. You’re going for something lovelier. The hunger and passion you saw in Carmy’s bright, exhausted, and doleful blue eyes—that was your objective tonight.

You skip the line, the askance for a reservation, and seat yourself at the best table in the place. Your powers of hypnosis against the high-strung wait staff is mere child’s play. You could do it in your sleep. You order the most expensive dish, and a bottle luxurious red wine, and you…wait.

An hour passes and another low-effort hypnosis allows you to pass your dish along to another table (“Oh god, we’re so sorry, miss!” the waitress said, looking ready to pass out.) You wave her off with a delicate, fanged smile.

“I’d like to give my compliments to the chef.” You announce once another hour passed, “Directly.” You add with a soft nudge of your willpower. For a moment, the waiter looks confused, until their eyes muddle gray and wistful.

“O-of c-c-course. Yes.” The waiter nods meekly and scurries toward the kitchen. It takes longer than you like, but you’re immortal and you’ve got patience in droves. Carmy walks toward your table, dressed pristine in white a chef’s uniform, his hair slicked back and expression haggard.

He doesn’t hide his surprise upon seeing you. You circle the rim of your untouched wine glass with your finger. His pulse roars jumpy and erratic in your ears.

“When you said you were a chef, Carmen, I didn’t know you’d be The chef.” You say with a playful smile. You rest your arms on the table and lean forward. Carmy’s eyes dip toward your cleavage and your grin widens appreciatively. He recovers with a small shake of his head.

“You didn’t mention you were—” He licks his lips, “—coming here.”

“Should I have?” You raise a single eyebrow, “My apologizes. Would you have made me something special?”

That stuns him into silence. His hands fidget with a spoon between them, bouncing the metal against his palm, and you wish you could sink your fangs into the warm heat of his inner wrist. A low, pulsing desire throbs between your legs.

“I – um – “ He stutters, “I n-need to get back to my station.”

You nod and respond flirtatiously, “thank you for the meal, Carmy.” His eyes widen. Your lips did not move when you spoke.

He practically flees into the kitchen. You lean back smug and pleased into your chair. The waiter asks if you want desert. You tell her you’re going to have a cigarette instead.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You don’t smoke. However, you smelled cigarette smoke on Carmy and for the second time tonight, you simply…wait. You hold an unlit cigarette between your fingers and ignore – or reject – anyone who tries to offer you a light.

The heavy metal door that leads into the kitchen pours fluorescent light into the empty, yet narrow alleyway. Carmy is briefly haloed by the light before it shuts. He leans against the door and sighs. You could trace the fatigue of his shoulders with a knife.

“Bad night or good night?” You ask from your spot on the opposite side.

“How did you do that earlier?” He asks instead of answering, “Are you like—” He swallows, and you raise your eyebrows. You’ve always loved this part. That moment when humanity tries to create answers for the supernatural. At this rate, you’ve heard every excuse, though their denial is charming.

“I don’t know. A ventriloquist or something?”

You reply, “it would spoil the fun to know the answer, wouldn’t it?”

He shrugs while attempting to light his cigarette. The cold, snow-touched December breeze keeps snuffing the flame out no matter how many times he shields it with his palm. You approach him and cup your other hand around his, blocking the flame from the other side, and Carmy peers up at you as the tip of the cigarette ignites and its ember burns inside his pupils.

Your fingertips gently glide against the thin, delicate skin of his inner wrist. A trail of smoke ghosts like a kiss over your cheek. He doesn’t flinch. He’s hardly breathing. A flicker of ash drops to your shoes.

“Your heart’s racing.” You observe passively. “Is that because of me or something else?”

“Something else.” His heartrate accelerates. You know he’s lying. You decide to be merciful and don’t call him out on it. Instead, your thumb finds that delicious, thundering pulse and you press into it. Your body hums with a pure, and powerful lust. For his blood. For something else. You bring Carmy’s hand to your mouth and drop your lips to his palm. You can smell every ingredient he’s cooked with. Every spice. You can smell his sweat and the sharp, underlying note of his arousal.

Your lips graze across the callouses on his fingers, never breaking eye contact from him, pulling him succinctly and powerfully under your allure. You draw his index finger into your mouth. Carmy’s knees buckle, his cigarette tossed and forgotten, something wild and desperate dominating his flushed features. His groan is quiet compared to the rest of New York City but to your ears, he is loud and intoxicating. You flex your tongue across the joints of his finger before sucking lightly and pressing your body flush to his.

Carmy’s hand lands on your hip and he fists the silken fabric, his hand is trembling. You release his digit slowly, savoring his hazy expression, savoring his heartbeat in place of your own. It would be so easy to lean in, to latch your fangs to his throat, but you resist. Not because you feel anything sentimental toward him. But because you want this to last beyond a few minutes. After centuries of being alone, you deserve that, you think.

He’s the one to close the distance and he kisses you with all the awkward, clumsy grace that can only belong to humanity. He squeezes your ass with both hands, hands bunching fabric, and brisk air teases every inch of your exposed skin. His tongue is warm and welcome, and you drink the filthy, raspy moans that he delivers like a prayer into your mouth.

You can taste his passion. Not only his desire for you, but beyond that. All his vibrant, beautiful humanity—his love for cooking, his love for creation. It is full of deep and robust flavor like black, strong coffee. His ambition tastes like citrus, sharp and biting. His exhaustion tastes heavy and coats your tongue like dark chocolate. Your eyes roll back into your head in pleasure.

You could kiss him for an eternity. But there are only hours before sunrise. You kiss the side of his throat—just for the hell of temptation—and your fangs throb painfully in your mouth. You do not often deny yourself like this. Carmen Berzatto is alone. He is enraptured by you. Yet, you refrain from draining him. You drop to your knees before him in reverent supplication.

Carmy’s breath hitches in his throat—“W-we—” You sense from his surface thoughts that he’s going to say something like ‘We cannot’ or ‘We shouldn’t’ or ‘We’re going to get caught’.

“Shh.” You soothe while pulling down his zipper, “I promise we’ll be fine.” You glance warily up at him through your sooty lashes, “Unless you want us to stop?”

“N-no. Please.” His throat bobs with a rough, agonized swallow. You hum in the back of your throat, pleased by his response, and the weighty warmth of his cock in your hand. Your tongue flattens against the vein pulsing on his shaft. Carmy’s head falls back with a ‘thunk’ into the metal door. You swirl your tongue around the ridges of his head before pulling him into your mouth. You moan around him. His hands turn to white-knuckled fists at his sides.

You draw backward, trailing salvia in your wake, and sink him further into your mouth during your second stroke. Your hand encircles him, squeezing lightly, following the path of your lips as your head bobs up and down over him.

At any moment, you could bite and have your satisfaction.

Yet, you don’t. You resist, and resist, and resist, all while listening to Carmen’s frantic heart and rushing bloodstream. He is muttering a mixture of curses and your name in a litany of praise and disbelief. He is close. You can tell by the spike of his heartbeat and a thousand other clues.

The door behind Carmen almost opens, “Hey Carm!”

You slap your free hand against it and slam it shut. You are not going to let some stupid, garlic-smelling human interrupt you. You groan, cheeks hollowing, taking Carmen’s cock as deeply as you can and drooling down your chin. He is panting above you and a single, tattooed, and calloused hand holds the back of your neck. His hips stutter and he is sweet enough to hurriedly announce, “’m about to—” before his words are lost in a bitten-off, soundless cry.

You are a creature of control. Yet something inside of you, something human and forgotten, unravels at the sound and sensation of Carmy coming into your mouth. Your thighs clamp together. Your own desire is slick and pooling between your legs. You spit his cum onto the concrete steps. If you were human, you would’ve made a different choice, but anything that wasn’t blood tended to make you ill.

Carmy looks down at you with droopy, bewildered blue eyes. You deliberately rise slowly to your full height. He tracks your movement as if in a daze.

You cup his chin between your fingers and tilt his face to the side so you can observe the glorious sweaty and flushed skin of his throat. His carotid artery beats like a drum. Your fangs prickle. Your eyes—unseen by Carmy—darken.

You can wait no longer. Your fangs penetrate his skin and his blood gushes hotly into your mouth. He shudders, grabbing you, holding you close and moaning shamelessly at the euphoria that overwhelms his mind and heart. You whine, one hand clutching the back of his skull, the other on his hip. He tastes divine. Everything you tasted in his kiss is increased by tenfold. His blood travels down your throat in pumping, warm spurts. You are drunk and delirious and frantic for more.

You drink, and drink, and drink, flexing your lips over the wound you’ve made. Carmy’s heartbeat is slowing in your ears like an ecstatic drumbeat losing its vigor. You clutch him closer as if you could fuse your bodies into one being. He tastes so good. You can’t remember the last time someone tasted like this.

You stop before his heart does. Your tongue laves over the puncture wounds, and they heal with supernatural efficiency. You lean back your head back, regarding him with a gentle curiosity, and find he’s semi-lucid.

“Tell me where you live, Carmen Berzatto.” You demand. Luckily, he tells you before passing out in your arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the nights that follow—you find yourself in his bed and his cock is buried deep within your cunt as you ride him. Compared to past lovers, he is eager to please and quick to learn. You never have to tilt his jaw. He does it willingly. Nearly begging. Offering you his neck or his wrist without batting an eyelash.

“Go ahead,” He tells you without fear. Like he’s giving you something. Like he’s created something for you. You always oblige. Somehow, it is better than the first time. Your walls clench around him, and your eyes roll into your skull when the surge of blood hits your tongue. Your control improves and Carmy only passes out half the time after you’ve fed on him.

You never go to the restaurant again. (Except for a single, secretive rogue trip to “meet” Carmy’s boss. But that little story is between you and the trash beneath the Hudson River).

~~~~~~~~~~

Tag List:

@wittyno // @comfortwaterbottle // @guyfieriii // @thebearinmind

@lafantasiaworld // @imreadingrespectfully // @jotarosasscheek // @buzzfrill // @man-johnnie // @reesespieces10123 // @a-wake-and-unafraid //

#carmen berzatto x you #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #carmy x reader #carmy berzatto x you #kinktober2022comp #vampire au #kinktober 2022 #carmen carmy berzatto x reader

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fourdaysofrain · 5 years ago

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‘Tis The Season (For Hot Chocolate)

Summary: Peter visits Tony in his cabin over winter break.

(You’re probably gonna see a million of these today, but this is my @irondadsecretsanta for @theoceanphoenixhasrisen! Hope you like it, buddy!)

Read on AO3

The crunch of gravel under the Uber’s tires jolted Peter from his stupor. He hadn’t been sleeping, but he hadn’t been entirely awake. The last thing he remembered was the rush of buildings outside the window, but now there was only a smattering of trees. He shook his shoulders to loosen them up and adjusted the seat belt strapped across his chest.

Leaving the city always made him nervous. Suburbia was just a little too wild for Spider-Man. Thankfully Tony’s cabin still had the sounds of the woods and water filtering through the windows, but still. It’s hard to sleep with all that silence.

“Have a good nap?” the driver asked from the front seat.

“Yeah.” Peter had completely forgotten about him. “Yeah, yeah, thanks.”

As if spurred by Peter’s response, the driver continued to speak. “Gonna be quite a storm, eh?”

“Yeah, maybe.” Peter looked out the car window to see a few snowflakes falling down. Nothing was sticking yet.

The driver’s wide green eyes flicked to Peter’s through the rear-view mirror. “It’s the Blip causin’ it, you know. Everyone coming back all at once like that, it’s bound to cause some damage.”

Peter nodded as politely as he could. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t heard before; it was basically all New York could talk about recently. How would the Blip affect the climate? Apparently, the few winters during the Blip were the coldest on record. As with the rest of the doubts about its long-term effects, they could only wait and see.

He was happy to get some form of solace from the sight of Tony’s cabin.

“Can you pull over here, please?” He motioned to the side of the gravel road. Hopefully Tony wouldn’t mind bringing a stranger this close to his house. They were still outside of FRI’s sphere of influence, at least.

The frosty gravel noisily crackled as the Uber parked on the side of the road. “Need any help with your bags?” the driver asked as they both walked out towards the trunk. He popped it open and Peter grabbed his small suitcase and backpack easily.

“I’ll be good, thanks.” Peter looked to the cabin and back to the driver. “Happy holidays, man!”

The driver nodded and got back into the driver’s seat. “Have a good one!”

The car drove away and left Peter standing alone about 500 feet from the cabin with his suitcase at his feet. It felt strangely symbolic in some way. The moment was broken by him lunging for his phone to give a rating and tip to his driver.

Peter sighed and started walking the rest of the way to the cabin. It was well worth the cold, he convinced himself. Tony still thought that he was stuck on campus for another couple of days. The only people in on it were May and Pepper. This surprise trip had been Pepper’s idea, actually. She was on a week-long trip to Europe to meet with some big-wig investors and had been worried Tony would be too lonely with just himself and Morgan at the cabin. May agreed, and now Peter was surprising Tony with a night spent at the cabin and an invitation to his and May’s apartment for the next couple of days.

He finally spotted the gnarled old tree that marked FRIDAY’s border. He jogged over and shuffled his feet a bit before speaking. He always felt weird talking to FRI at the cabin. It was too rustic looking to house an AI, but yet, she was ever-present as always.

“Hey, FRI.” He chewed his lip and hoped no one was watching him talk to a tree. ”I’m trying to surprise Mr. Stark, so can you promise to not tell him I’m here?”

He waited for a few beats, but there was no response from the AI. He frowned. Normally she gave some sort of response, even though she didn’t have any speakers set up outside the cabin. A text on his phone, or something.

“Wrong tree!” came a voice from his right. He swung his head over and saw Tony smiling next to a pile of half-chopped firewood. He was walking over much too calmly to be surprised.

“No, it’s the uh...” Peter looked over to the tree and counted the branches. “Isn’t it the big dead one with four branches?”

Tony finally reached him and pulled him into a hug. “Nice to see you, kid.”

“Yeah, nice to see you too.” Peter broke the hug and glared warmly at Tony. ”But you’re supposed to be surprised!”

“FRIDAY used to be in this tree with four branches-- you’re right about that.” Tony points at the tree Peter just finished talking to and then pointed to where the gravel road bends through the trees to reach the main road behind them. “But you’ve been gone since August. I got bored. Now she monitors everyone who comes off the main road and can be talked to from anywhere on the property. By the time you get back from next semester, I’m hoping she can talk back, too.”

Peter sighed. Surprising a billionaire super-engineer was impossible. He’d have to put some of his MIT skills to use next year if he wanted to succeed.

“So you saw the Uber, then,” he said.

Tony hummed in affirmation. “I’m honestly offended you didn’t use Happy. I’m deeply offended on his behalf.” “I swung as far as I could, but had to Uber the rest of the way.” He adjusted his backpack’s straps. “And Happy can’t keep a secret to save his life.”

Tony snorted and looked away to the pile of firewood. “Morgan’s still taking her afternoon nap.” He looks back to Peter with an eyebrow quirked up competitively. “Ever used an ax?”

Peter, as it turned out, was very good at chopping firewood. It took him a while to get over the whole not-needing-to-hold-himself-back thing, but once he did, the log slices were being split with one quick chop.

“You’re catching up, Pete,” Tony said from his own pile, a few yards away.

Peter wiped sweat from his brow and his eyes lit up with an idea. He threw the ax to the side and picked up a log on its own. It didn’t feel too sturdy.

“I could probably just…” He trailed off as he tossed the log between his hands.

After a moment’s hesitation, he grabbed it firmly near the center of its cut-off end and pulled. The crack of splitting wood filled the grassy area. Peter examined the split: it was a little rougher than if he had used the ax, but it was much more efficient. It didn’t need to be a pretty cut, they were going to burn it all anyways. He threw the sloppy halves onto the top of his pile.

He looked over to Tony, mouth open and ready to brag, but stopped when he saw the expression on his face.

Tony was staring at Peter’s hands with his eyes slightly wide and nostrils flared. He flexed the palm of his right hand a few times, which caused his thumb and little finger to move jerkily. It was an awkward remnant from his time spent in the suit that looked especially strange with his prosthetic.

“You okay, Tony?” Peter cautiously asked. He walked over towards him to… do something helpful, he hoped. Maybe start by taking the ax away from him. But before he could reach him, Tony blinked and it was like a switch had been flipped. He was back to how he was a few seconds ago.

“I’m doing perfect, kid.” Tony set down his ax and clapped his hands together. “How about we head in, Mo’s probably gonna be up soon.” He motioned between the two piles of wood. “Loser with enhanced strength takes in the wood. We’ll only need a few pieces for tonight. I’ll get your bags.”

Peter grabbed an armful of firewood and lightly jogged to catch up with Tony on the way back to the cabin. Tony seemed to be back to normal, but there was a tenseness in his shoulders that betrayed the easy smile on his face.

“You sure you’re good, Mr. Stark?” Tony gave a short dry chuckle and looked away.

“Remember when you were young and easy to lie to?” Tony sighed as he peered at Peter through the corner of his eye. “I think back on that time fondly. You’d believe anything I told you.”

Peter jutted his chin out. “You never lied to me.”

“‘Course not,” Tony quipped. He turned to Peter with a grin. “I never had to.”

Peter rolled his eyes as the two stepped on the porch of the cabin. He dropped the wood noisily in the corner and took a second to appreciate the view. The sun had already mostly set, making the woods a comfortably eerie backdrop. Although it was barely 5pm, the sky was quickly darkening. There was a thin layer of snow on the ground-- Peter guessed that it had finally started to stick sometime in the past half hour or so. The snow was falling lazily from the clouds above.

“I assume you expect me to get you dinner, then?”

Tony’s soft voice took Peter out of his reverie. He coughed awkwardly before responding. “Uh, yeah, if you don’t mind. You know how I get when it’s cold.”

“And by that, you mean your whole…” Tony paused to point vaguely at Peter. “Storing energy for hibernation thing.”

Peter crossed his arms with a huff. “Geez, you sleep through one week of high school and it’s all anyone ever talks about.”

Tony laughed and gripped Peter’s shoulder with his good hand. “You’ll get it when you’ve got kids of your own.” He quickly cleared his throat. “I’m gonna go wake up the princess, you find a takeout menu in the junk drawer.”

Peter hummed as Tony went inside. He took in the outdoors for another second before following him into the cabin.

“You’re a traitor, FRI,” he greeted as he walked to the kitchen.

It only took a second for her voice to come online. “Welcome back, Peter.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered as he opened the junk drawer and rummaged for an appealing take out menu.

Navigating Tony’s cabin was second nature to Peter. He knew it as intimately as he knew May’s apartment. Simply being inside it was a comfort after the months he spent in an unfamiliar dorm.

He picked out a menu and it wasn’t long before him, Tony, and Morgan were squished onto the couch with a plate of food each and gently debating which movie to watch.

“We watched Coco in Spanish class when it came out back in 2017-- it’s great and Morgan needs to see it,” Peter offered.

“I can’t watch another musical, kid,” Tony complained.

“I wanna watch Frozen 3 again!” Morgan argued.

Eventually, they agreed with Morgan and promised each other to stop being such pushovers by the time she realized how easy it would be to take advantage of them.

Tony and Peter were both beginning to doze on either side of Morgan as the movie ended. Peter jerked awake when Morgan shook his shoulder.

“Are you sleeping?” she asked.

He stole a glance at Tony sitting on the opposite side of the couch, whose eyes were closed with his mouth was open in an unflattering circle. As great as it was to see Tony having restful sleep, Peter knew he would be complaining about his back all day tomorrow if he slept on the couch.

Peter looked back to Morgan. “I’m not, but I think your dad is. Why don’t you go upstairs and I’ll wake him up for you?”

Morgan nodded and ran upstairs, leaving Peter alone with Tony, who looked like he was just about to start snoring. He leaned over and held a hand halfway to his shoulder before pulling it back and electing to just use his voice.

“The movie’s over,” he whispered. Tony responded with a heavy exhale that started to rumble in his chest. Peter raised his voice. “Tony, wake up!”

Tony sharply cleared his throat and blinked open his eyes. “Was just resting my eyes,” he said with a voice heavy with sleep.

“Morgan’s up in her bedroom already,” he said, deciding not to refute Tony’s point. “You should say goodnight to her, I’m gonna go bring my stuff to the guest room.”

Tony groaned as he stretched his back and stood up. “How many times do you have to stay over before I convince you it’s not a guest room? You’re the only one who I let use it, kid.”

Oh, that’s nice, Peter thought. And then, He should really invite more people over.

“Okay, then uh-- I’ll just take these to my room, then.” He grabbed his bags from where they were resting against the wall. “By the way, I’m going back to May’s in the morning and she wanted me to invite you and Morgan until Pepper gets back.”

(He decides not to mention how he pestered May about inviting them for the week leading up to this trip.)

Tony followed Peter to the stairs. “Is there enough room?”

“Yeah, we think.” Peter rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly nervous. “I’m gonna take the couch, Morgan can take my room, and then May said she can share her room with you.”

Seeing the look on Tony’s face, Peter backtracked. “Or, I mean, I can spend the night at Ned’s so you don’t have to share a bed with May. Or you can like, just stay here.”

“Kid, relax,” Tony said through a chuckle. Peter was starting to revert back to his anxious 14-year-old style of rambling. “I’d love to. If May’s okay with it, I am too. ‘Sides, the little miss always loves seeing her aunt.”

Peter smiled back at Tony as he went to open the door to the guest room. Tony watched as his hand hesitated at the doorknob. He suddenly felt very emotional. Maybe it was just how Tony was standing in his pajamas, looking at him with a casual smile, but he felt loved. Being in Tony’s orbit meant you never felt ignored. Sometimes it meant you couldn’t go patrolling whenever you wanted or you had to put up with nonsensical texts sent annoyingly early in the morning when he stays up all night, but most of the time it was this: seeing Tony when he’s vulnerable. There’s something to be said about seeing the universe’s savior when he’s just a person. When he’s tinkering on your newest suit after you visit him with one-too-many stab wounds. When he’s smiling at one of your jokes over a crowded dinner table. Or right now, when he’s about to read a bedtime story to his daughter but he’s still making sure you’re comfortable.

“Do you need a bedtime story too?”

“No, I was just…” Peter shifted his weight between his feet. “Y’know, thanks for everything.”

Tony’s lips slowly stretched into a smile. “Of course, kid. It’s what I do.” He opened up the door to Morgan’s room. “Night, Pete.”

“Night, Mr. Stark.”

Peter finally entered the guest room, his room, and dropped his bags on the rug. May made fun of him for packing so much for an overnight trip, but he never knew what to expect. His backpack was filled with homework he had to do before the next term started. He had been so sure he’d have the will to do it while he was packing it, but now he just wanted to sleep. He begrudgingly took out his mechanical engineering textbook and started to read.

He woke up with his face resting somewhere between kinematics and thermodynamics. He groaned and checked the time. It was after 3am. He groaned. While his bed was still calling to him, he felt compelled to go down to the kitchen.

When he got there, he saw Tony fiddling with the coffee maker. He looked a bit deranged, like a bear trying to get into a trash can.

“Hey, man.” Peter jumped up to sit on the counter across from him.

Tony jumped at his voice and turned around. When he saw Peter, he deflated. “Mornin’, kid.”

“Coffee machine not working?” Peter asked, nodding at the array of red lights on the appliance.

Tony sniffed. “I don’t want to talk about it. It’s a touchy subject right now.”

“Cool, cool.” Peter looked from the machine to Tony’s empty mug when an idea came to him. “Hey, do you wanna make hot chocolate?”

“There’s probably some mix in the pantry somewhere. Feel free to rummage,” Tony said as he waved a hand nonchalantly.

Peter kicked off the counter and started searching. It took him a few minutes to find everything he needed. He laid out a few packets of hot chocolate mix, milk, two mugs, and candy canes on the counter. He was even able to find some peppermint extract in the pantry, which was probably leftover from holiday baking. Tony just leaned against the counter and watched as he flitted from cabinet to cabinet.

“Isn’t peppermint a spider repellent?” he asked as Peter filled the two mugs with milk and put them in the microwave. Peter turned and saw him looking at the small bottle.

Peter grabbed two spoons as the microwave hummed. “Yeah, I think May read that on Pinterest a while back.” A beat. “Wait, is that why you didn’t let me eat any of your candy canes last year?”

Tony’s silence spoke volumes.

“Wow,” Peter said. “I don’t know whether to be honored or offended. Not all spiders are the same.” He took the now steaming mugs out of the microwave and stirred in a generous amount of hot chocolate powder. “I’m still good with all the same things, by the way. May and I tested all of the ‘natural spider repellents’ on me when she read the article.” He screwed his face up as he continued to stir. ”I didn’t like lemon, but I didn’t like that before either.”

“Duly noted.” Tony walks to look over Peter’s shoulder as he works. “So what’s with all this then?”

Peter debated not telling him. It would be easy to just make up some story about how some Buzzfeed video showed a new and exciting way to make hot chocolate, or something like that. But Tony would probably be able to see through it easily. He could read him like a book. Sometimes it sucked, but honestly, it was nice for someone who he’s not related to care about him enough to be able to know when something was up.

He took the spoons out of the mugs and set them in the sink, carefully not making eye contact with Tony.

“Ben and I used to make hot chocolate in the winter.” He motioned to the remainder of the ingredients on the counter. ”He taught me how to make it like this.”

Tony nodded. “Good man.”

“He was,” Peter said softly. And then, a little stronger, “He was. You should have met him.”

“I would have loved that.” Tony cleared his throat to reset the atmosphere. “Should I leave the room, or am I allowed in on the secret?”

Peter debated that for a moment, then got embarrassed for making such a big deal out of it, then chided himself for acting like it didn’t matter. Sure, it was a simple adjustment to the norm that Tony could easily guess. He was sure there were a million families that made hot chocolate the exact same way. But it was one of the few sacred things that Ben left behind. One of the very few Parker family secrets, left for the one of the very few remaining Parkers.

“Pete?”

Peter looked up to Tony from where he had been staring at the still-swirling hot chocolate. He smiled nervously.

“Sorry, just uh… thinking.” He picked up the bottle of peppermint extract and shook it in his hand. He didn’t mind adding a third person to their ritual. “Yeah, I’ll show you how it’s done.”

Tony’s face softened minutely. Even though Peter didn’t let on to how personal this was, he seemed to understand.

That was the good thing about Tony: Peter didn’t need to say everything he felt for the message to get across.

“So,” Peter started, rolling up his sleeves. He wasn’t going to do anything messy, but it felt like the professional thing to do. “You start by making hot chocolate normally, which we’ve done.”

Tony grabbed one of the mugs and stood right next to Peter and his mug. “Got it.”

“Then, you add a few drops of peppermint extract and stir it with a candy cane.” Peter passed the bottle and a candy cane to Tony once he’s done.

Tony repeated what he did and looked at him expectantly.

“And then,” Peter said in a low voice. “And then, you’re done. Sorry, that was--”

He was cut off by a hand on his shoulder. “I dig it, kid. Keepin’ it simple.”

They shared a smile.

Tony nodded his head towards the kitchen table and they both took a seat. They sat without speaking for a moment, just enjoying being in the same room after Peter’s term at college. Eventually, Tony broke the silence.

“You reminded me of Cap earlier,” he stated matter-of-factly. “It surprised me, is all. I sometimes forget that you’re…” He waved a hand at him vaguely. “Enhanced.” He finished by averting his eyes and taking a sip of his hot chocolate.

Peter looked down at his hands and flexed them. “Sorry.”

“No. Lord, no.” Peter looked up and saw Tony leaning over the table to make eye contact with him. “I’m not saying that to make you... “ He leaned back in his chair and put a hand over his face. “I’m trying to have a moment with you.”

Peter raised his eyebrows at him.

“I care about you,” he said simply.

“So you’ve said.”

Tony’s lips quirked at that. “It’s surprising to how much you’ve grown. I mean, for God’s sake, do you remember our first Christmas together?”

Peter took a sip of his hot chocolate and sent his mind back. He had shown up to the Avenger’s tower with a rumpled present and an awkward grin the day after Christmas. Tony, although he hadn’t expected him to show up, welcomed him in and led him to the living room where him and Rhodey were drinking mulled wine. By the end of the night, he had ordered a few packages to be sent to Peter’s apartment in the morning.

“Yeah, it was really cool.”

“You’ve gotten a lot stronger since then. More confident. Not to say that you couldn’t pull apart some wood back then.” Tony made a face. “I-- Lord. I’m terrible at this.”

Peter didn’t deny that.

“What I’m trying to say,” Tony said, “is that I’m proud of you. Sometimes it just surprises me when you prove how capable you are. I don’t have to worry about you anymore, it’s nice.” He scratched his eyebrow. ”Of course, I still worry, but I know I don’t have to.”

Something soft and warm bloomed in Peter’s chest.

“Thanks, Tony.” His voice came out a little fragiler than normal. He cleared his throat. “I uh-- I get what you’re saying. It means a lot.”

Tony grabbed his now-empty mug and walked around the table to clap Peter on the shoulder. “Anytime, kid.” He took Peter’s empty mug too and went to the sink to rinse them out. “That hot chocolate was great, you’ll have to come over and make it more often!” he called behind him.

“Yeah, for sure,” Peter responded. He stood up and stretched. “Anyways, we should get to bed. I want to leave for May’s before noon so we can have lunch together.”

Tony turned around to look at him directly. “Kid, have you not looked outside?”

Peter shook his head and Tony pointed his chin to a nearby window. Wow. There was at least a foot of snow on the ground and it was still coming down heavily from the gray clouds above. No way they were driving home now. He said as much to Tony.

“Looks like you’re going to be spending more than just the night here.”

Peter shrugged.

There were worse places to be.

Tag List: @ironfamjam @addi-is-amazing @mysterio-is-a-little-bitch @wellplacedbanana @night0seven @unfathomable-universe @bibbidi-bobbity-booyah @spideynamu

#can i write? jury's still out #hope everyone had a good holiday season!#bone app the teeth #irondadsecretsanta #irondad #iron dad #spider-man #spiderman #iron man #marvel #mcu #woooo #art writes #got into a fight with my husband about the events of civil war anyways hears some stony fluff that he beta read for me ;)

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monicalorandavis · 6 years ago

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periods

Weeks ago, maybe months ago, I was in an Uber XL because my friend is dj’ing and doing quite well for himself and also because I was with a group of six other adults and no one could even pretend to be sober enough to drive.

So there we are in the big SUV. I’m in the way back with my friend and every seat is accounted for - even the seat next to the driver. It was a packed ride and the back seat was where the party was at. My friend and I were quite literally bouncing off the walls. I think at one point I turned myself upside down and pressed my feet into the ceiling (I’m that girl) and gyrated my ass off my seat. I don’t know how I avoid hurting myself when I act this way. *Correction: I always, always hurt my pride the next morning when someone shows me the footage on their phone and my drunk voice is shrieking some vile obscenity.*

I remarked to the mixed group of men and women (to be specific, two men and four women) that “Being a girl is the fucking best”. I don’t know why then seemed like the perfect time to share that sentiment with boys, but, I said it and then I immediately regretted it.

Because of course they had to ruin it. I had barely finished the sentence before one of the guys said, “Yeah, except periods.”

And, of course.

Yes, facts.

Periods are bad. They are always, always bad. The four women in the car agreed that they are in fact so, so bad that it’s insane that men don’t get to have them. They at least should have to experience a couple somehow. I suggest some time before they have sex so they can fully understand the undertaking before them. Do they want to create a life in that place that produces the monthly blood mud or are they just horny?

But, it occurred to me in a drunken split-second (which in all fairness was probably closer to a drunken half of a minute), do men think that periods are really the worst thing about being a woman?

The thought burrowed its spiny legs into my beleaguered mind and stuck. What if they are?

Not right now they’re not, obviously. The world, at the moment, for women is bat-shit kookookachoo-Lollapalooza got pregnant by Fyre Festival-burning-down-the-house-no bueno-bad, bad, bad. But, if the world were to somehow heal its wounds of misogyny and close the wage gap and stop domestic violence, and rape, and stigmatizing reproductive health, and harassment, and catcalling, and victim blaming, and gaslighting, and intimidating, and talking over us, and sexualizing our bodies from the minute we sprout the insinuations of breasts, and sex trafficking... we wouldn’t solve the tricky business of getting our periods. It is an immutable fact. (Now, this is a ciswoman rant, I realize. It is admittedly the privilege of being a biological female. Trans women lament the fact they will never have periods. They don’t get the opportunity to bear children. This must be like actual nails on a chalkboard and I am sorry.)

However, periods are whack.

The conversation in the SUV was sort of a wonderful acknowledgement and...conference of sorts. We shared period horror stories and the men were adult enough to not squeal in disgust. Instead, they feigned outrage at the middle school teasing we endured when we bled through our jeans during P.E class. But the truth is, they were probably the same idiots laughing at us those twenty years ago. We all were. We’ve all been taught to hide our tampons in our hands, bras, tiny pockets and pass them to each other like drug paraphernalia. Our periods exist in the cracks of society. Dirty pads are wrapped and wrapped with tissue paper until the blood doesn’t seep out. It’s wasteful. It’s also disrespectful to our uteruses...to each other, really. We’re all pretending for each other. (Do not leave a trace of it anywhere!) But wouldn’t we all be doing better if we stopped pretending?

Every time we hide our periods it’s playing into the farce that women do not actually bleed out of their sex parts. Granted we also deliver babies from our sex parts. But there is a third purpose of the sex part, and you guessed it - the PERIOD.

The more I’m thinking about it, we should put some g.d. respect on her name. Blood is the life force. It is a sacrament. Sometimes we don’t know how badly we wanted a period until all of a sudden one’s missing and we are flippin’ tf out. At least, I am. And most of my friends are. But I guess some of my friends are in a place where raising a family is a thing you could do.

And yet, in spite of the glory of our biological endowment, she is a messy bitch. We cannot deny this fact. (This is the reputation she will never live down.) She has ruined sheets, towels, underwear, leggings, chairs, sofas, pillows, sleep-overs, dates, car rides, vacations, bathing suits, swims with friends, sex with a new guy, waxes, make-out sessions, sporting events, camping. Also, the smell of blood attracts bears, sharks. We are vulnerable to wild animals. We can be eaten because our vaginas are bleeding and we can’t make them stop! I’m basically two weeks away from getting eaten by a bear at any moment. And people wonder why I don’t camp?!?! FOH.

Also, to the point about the bears, she is a (and I hate to say this) smelly bitch. I know that that is so gross but in the spirit of honoring the thing we cannot change, let’s just put it on Front Street. Periods are stinky. Makes sense. The lining from your uterus has been straight up chillin’ in your vagina cave for weeks and weeks so when it drops down it don’t smell fresh. That’s just how it goes. We don’t get to scrub out our uteruses and give ‘em a deep clean in between oil changes. 1) Because that’d be fucking crazy. Have you ever gotten a pap smear? You ain’t opting for those babies more often than is absolutely necessary. And 2) You’d probably screw up the natural balance of your cycle and your pH and whatever else is going on in that mysterious little cabinet.

So what’s the conclusion? Do we stop hiding tampons? Yes. Do we free bleed through our white jeans? I guess if you want to, sure. (I think free bleeding is very, very dope but I ain’t got it like that because I don’t want huge blood stains on my crotch.) But in terms of an artistic expression and a fuck you to the system, almost nothing makes me happier.

So, honor your period. Don’t hide your period for the sake of men. They know we bleed. They’re ok talking about it. They’ll buy you tampons. If they don’t, they are trash and must be gotten rid of. Now that that’s settled, we, the women of the human race must stop telling men that we don’t poop.

#womens issues #periods #girls #body positive #body posi af

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mighettoraviart813 · 2 years ago

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Uber and Lyft Regulation as a Matter of Social Justice

Since the inception of the rideshare industry, Uber and Lyft have flagrantly trampled city, state, and federal law. By ignoring transportation regulation and labor law, they have exploited workers, polluted cities, and increased traffic congestion. Drivers nationally and worldwide are struggling to survive. Drivers are reduced to living in their cars at the behest of billionaires whose algorithms by design, prod for more and more work at less and less pay. Transportation Network Companies (TNCs) took advantage of the lack of regulation and enforcement in the tech industry and have wreaked havoc on worker protections and safety standards.

"On a cold winter evening in Paris, Travis Kalanick and Garrett Camp couldn't get a ride. That's when the idea for Uber was born." According to Uber, the first vehicle was dispatched less than two years later in 2010. It was a momentous and revolutionary day for the transportation industry. By 2013, over a billion rides had been dispatched worldwide and by 2018 that figure jumped to over ten billion. By 2019, Uber had made what was called a "trainwreck," Initial Public Offering (IPO), closing at less than it's projected value that day and making billionaires of a couple dozen shareholders and a handful of underwriters. They had successfully built a marketshare on the backs of workers and at the expense of taxi drivers. The sky was the limit.

Just a matter of months before this historic day, I had reached over 1,000 rides as a driver for Lyft and shortly thereafter experienced the first of many pay cuts. When I first started driving, I received eighty percent of what my passengers paid and there was full transparency of the breakdown. If the rider experienced surge pricing, I was the principal beneficiary. These surges were precipitated by high demand and offered to drivers as an incentive to work peak hours, late at night. Both the surge and the transparency were short lived. A screeching halt to my income hit just before Christmas that year, devastating my bank account. I was among hundreds of thousands of drivers in California to experience this drastic cut in income, despite the fact that I was a five star service provider who was subsidizing the cost of the TNC fleet. A year after that, my car was rendered useless when my clutch went out, and I was again tasked with fronting the cost to continue my employment. This to the tune of $1,500 for the necessary repairs. It took several months and $250/week to lease a vehicle through their convenient rental program. Of course, the cost of gas, cleaning, and other maintenance was additional.

When the pandemic took its hold, we were left vulnerable and without any of the protections provided decades ago by The New Deal. Safety nets like the unemployment system we know today were not afforded to app-based workers. As so-called independent contractors, drivers are not eligible for sick pay, social security benefits, unemployment insurance, or the right to unionize or collectively bargain with our employer for better working conditions. It took months for the companies to negotiate a bailout with the Trump Administration for any relief for millions of drivers nationwide. My partner and I spent many months organizing, lobbying, and petitioning for relief. We were without consistent housing and flipped between living in our tent and at Air Bnb's for over two years.

Absent proper regulation, TNCs are capitalizing on the 'wild west' of economic and social justice in tech. They are exploiting migrant workers and others with limited resources. They are shirking state payroll taxes, evading federal laws, and an alarming few are becoming enriched by millions of workers who are being forced into poverty. This is a pervasive issue and a stain on civil liberties that needs to be addressed. If only our government acted with the expedience that opportunists like Travis Kalanick did when they seized the day over a decade ago.

References

Cohan, W. D. (2019, May 17). Guess who got rich off uber's train-wreck I.P.O.? Vanity Fair. Retrieved October 23, 2022, from https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2019/05/guess-who-got-rich-off-ubers-train-wreck-ipo#:~:text=Nearly%2070%20percent%20of%20this,of%20America%20made%20%2410%20million.

History.com Editors. (2009, October 29). New deal. History.com. Retrieved October 23, 2022, from https://www.history.com/topics/great-depression/new-deal

The history of Uber - Uber's timeline. Uber Newsroom. (2018, May 2). Retrieved October 23, 2022, from https://www.uber.com/newsroom/history/

#rideshare #uber #lyft #union #tnc #goverment #tech #app based #worker #labor #laborrights #traffic #public transportation

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w0lfmaan · 5 years ago

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Preparing For Your Trip

Preparing For Your Wilderness Trip

Almost a decade ago, in 2009 I embarked on one of the most challenging and fulfilling hikes of my entire life. The 850km Bruce Trail which ran from Queenston, Ontario to Tobermory. This hike took over a year to plan, and about four months to execute. It earned me a world record as I was the first person to hike the entire trail completely barefoot. It also changed my life and career path. Since that hike, I have received hundreds of emails from would-be backpackers who are embarking on similar treks around the world. Many people have questions as to how to get started, what to pack, what to expect, and other such things. In this article I will attempt to describe some of the preparation progress for trips of such grandeur. In this article I will discuss the first preparation stages of a long distance backpack trip.

The First Steps

After you have decided where you want to go, it's time to start planning the logistics of your trip. How will you pay your bills when you're gone? Most people will put away a little bit of money every pay to save up for a trip. This will help a lot of if you're going away for multiple months. You want to make sure that you're power isn't cut off while you're gone. Who will take care of your stuff? Be sure someone will come around to your house, cut your grass, bring in the mail, water plants, etc. What time of year is best for your location? Some areas of the world are subject to vast changes in conditions. You don't want to be hiking during monsoon season. You have to be careful of blackfly season in some areas. Sometimes summer is the best time of year, other times fall, or even winter if it's a dogsled expedition. What Temperature will it be? Temperature changes during the year are another consideration. You want to make sure you know the temperature so you can pack and have the correct clothes for the weather. You don't need your Canada Goose parka if it's going to be +40C and you'll need more than sandals if it's going to be -20C. Documents Be sure to have all your documents in place. Park permits, Passport, Drivers Licence, and vaccinations. Be sure to check if you need to make reservations in advance. Many parks fill up quickly in peak season. If you're going out of country be sure that you have all required documents for yourself and pets before you travel. This will save you a world hurt.

How Will You Get There?

It's important to know how you will get to and from your destination. Often overlooked this is an important part of your preparation. If you have your own vehicle where will it be left? Will it be safe to leave for a few weeks? If you come back to a dead battery, how will you fix it? Especially if there is no mobile coverage in the area. An open air Jeep such as the one pictured above makes a fantastic travel vehicle, however would not be suitable to leave unattended in a remote parking lot for two weeks. It would most likely become the residence for wild animals such as raccoons, and mice. The vehicle would also get damaged from being exposed to rainfall or worse stolen due to it's easy access. Is there bus service to your start point? If bus service doesn't run close to your start point perhaps you could use uber? Will all your backpacks, dogs, and yourself fit in a small car? (Just beware if you have pets not all uber drivers will accept your dogs.)

Get Maps

Once you have all the boring details above sorted out, now it's time to plan your actual trip. Get a hold of some maps for your trip. Often maps are available online. Don't trust sources such as google maps if you're going into the wilderness. Be sure you get proper topographic maps which will help you learn where things like sources of water, canyons, roads, campsites. If you're unsure of how to read these maps - now is a good time to start. A proper topography map can save your life during an emergency as well as prevent serious tragedies due to unknown terrain. Areas where there are lots of squiggly lines close together indicate mountains and big hills. The closer the lines are together, the steeper the grade. There are dozens of tutorials available for free around the internet to learn how to properly read a map. Don't hike hike yourself off a cliff, or end up in boggy swamp being eaten alive by bugs if you can avoid it. These details are listed on maps and will save you a world of suffering and hurt. Maps also have distance marks and legends where you can plot how far you will hike each day, and can plot where you will camp. Some areas you can camp anywhere, others you have to use proper campsites. You don't want to stealth camp in a park and get yourself in trouble. Also you don't want to camp in a boggy swamp. Having a map, knowing its use and plotting your daily route will help make things comfortable.

Personal Fitness

Before you go off trying to hike 1000km with a 30kg backpack on, ask yourself: "can I do this?" Be sure you know how far you can comfortably hike each day over varied terrain. 10km in the city on pavement is NOT 10km in the mountains! Have you practiced several full day hikes loaded with your entire heavy kit? While it is possible to "hike yourself thin" on a longer trip, it's best if you know your limits beforehand to ensure you don't strain yourself to the point of injury or exhaustion. Be sure to go on several all-day hikes with a heavy back before your trip. Ensure your body is conditioned to hike long distances. This will ensure you won't suffer a sprained ankle or be too tired to continue less than half way through your trip. If you are very limited with time, ensure that you plan at least one or two extra days in the event your body lets you down. For example if you plan to hike 80km at 10km per day, be sure you plan to be gone 10 days. This will allow for a couple of short hike days, a day to relax and enjoy the beauty of your destination, or a zero-kilometre day to rest up if you didn't get enough sleep the night before because you were kept up by howling wolves nearby. In the next article in this series I will discuss outdoor gear. Good luck!

#Camping #Hiking #Wilderness #Bushcraft #Outdoors #Nature #Backpacking #canoeing #Exploration

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toomanysinks · 6 years ago

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Transportation Weekly: Uber’s spending habits, Tesla Model Y, scooters and AVs in Austin

Welcome back to Transportation Weekly; I’m your host Kirsten Korosec, senior transportation reporter at TechCrunch. We love the reader feedback. Keep it coming.

Never heard of TechCrunch’s Transportation Weekly? Catch up by reading the first edition here or check out last week’s edition, which offered the gamut of mobility news from Lyft and Bird to Waymo’s laser bears and cybersecurity.

As I’ve written before, consider this a soft launch. Follow me on Twitter @kirstenkorosec to ensure you see it each week. An email subscription is coming!

This week we’ll focus on the city of Austin, gain insight into Uber’s spending habits, do a little scooter number crunching, the Tesla Model Y, and the so-called “race” — an overused and inaccurate term — to develop autonomous vehicles.

ONM …

There are OEMs in the automotive world. And here, (wait for it) there are ONMs — original news manufacturers. (Cymbal clash!) This is where investigative reporting, enterprise pieces and analysis on transportation lives.

Mark Harris is back with new details on Uber’s autonomous vehicle technology program. The upshot: Uber was spending $20 million a month to develop self-driving technologies.

The new information, gleaned from recently unsealed court documents, provides new insight into the company’s past activities and what that might mean for its upcoming IPO.

Harris writes: “The figures, dating back to 2016, paint a picture of a company desperate to meet over-ambitious autonomy targets and one that is willing to spend freely, even recklessly, to get there. As Uber prepares for its IPO later this year, the new details could prove an embarrassing reminder that the company is still trailing in its efforts to develop technology that founder Travis Kalanick called “existential” to Uber’s future.”

This historical look at Uber and its self-driving tech unit, Uber ATG, should be considered alongside more recent news, including that it’s in negotiations with investors, including the SoftBank Vision Fund, to secure an investment as large as $1 billion for its autonomous vehicles unit.

Dig In

After five days in Austin for SXSW, I headed to Los Angeles, actually Hawthorne, for Tesla’s Model Y unveiling. In many ways, this was like all the other Tesla events I’ve attended: the pumpy music and mood lighting, the designed-to-inspire kick off video, the Tesla superfans (pictured below), and the long lines for a brief test ride.

And yet, something was different. The Model Y unveil reminded me of other more traditional automaker reveals. There were mutterings at the event, and wild cries on Twitter, of disappointment (there were plenty of platitudes as well). Many expected something more exciting than this Model 3 doppelganger.

The Model Y is the kind of next act one might expect from an established and more cautious automaker. And while the market’s reaction was negative, there were folks who noted that the Model Y’s likeness to the 3 meant it was getting serious about selling vehicles.

And that’s not a bad thing — accept for two niggling details. First, the Model Y is so similar to the 3 that it could suffer from buyer malaise or cannibalization of one of the two vehicles. Secondly, even if everyone loved this vehicle and Tesla was poised to take advantage of these perceived efficiencies gained from sharing at least 75 percent of the parts with the Model 3, the Y isn’t coming until fall 2020.

That lengthy timeline raises a lot of questions that we’ll be (and surely others) digging into in the coming weeks and months. Where Tesla chooses to produce the Model Y is perhaps the most important, unanswered question.

A little bird …

We hear a lot. But we’re not selfish. Let’s share.

Welp, we didn’t anticipate this happening. Two tips turned into stories this week: Ford expanding its autonomous vehicle program to Austin and GM Cruise ramping up its hiring machine with plans to hire at least 1,000 more engineers by the end of the year.

What else are we hearing? There’s a new autonomous trucking company coming out of stealth. We’ll share more soon.

Got a tip or overheard something in the world of transportation? Email me or send a direct message to @kirstenkorosec.

Deal of the week

It’s not a done deal, yet. But it’s just an intriguing. Uber is in talks with Softbank Vision Fund and Toyota to raise $1 billion for its self-driving unit Uber ATG. This investment would give Uber ATG a valuation of between $5 billion and $10 billion, WSJ reported. The talks are fluid and could still fall apart, these people warned.

There is a lot of behind-the-scenes investment and partnership activity in the autonomous vehicle space these days. In short, these relationships are getting messy and hard to follow.

Let’s not forget that Softbank’s Vision Fund already has a nearly 20 percent stake in GM’s self-driving subsidiary GM Cruise following its $2.2 billion investment in 2018.

Then there’s Volkswagen AG, which is in continued talks with Ford to partner on self-driving car technologies. The framework of the agreement is expected to include VW making an investment into Ford-backed autonomous vehicle startup Argo AI.

VW already has other partnerships. VW Group, Intel’s computer vision subsidiary Mobileye and Champion Motors said in November they plan to deploy Israel’s first self-driving ride-hailing service in 2019 through a joint venture called New Mobility in Israel. VW also has a partnership with AV startup Aurora to integrate self-driving systems in custom-designed electric shuttles for VW’s new Moia brand.

Other deals:

Flight-hailing startup Blackbird raises $10 million

Drivezy, India’s vehicle-sharing startup is raising more than $100 million

BMW i Ventures invested in Bright Machines, a San Francisco-based company that has combined software and robotics to help automotive, computer and electronic brands improve product quality, throughput, and factory optimization.

Toyota Motor, DENSO Corporation, and Toyota Tsusho Corporation made a $15 million investment into connected vehicle services startup Airbiquity. The four parties will collaborate to accelerate the development and commercialization of an automotive grade over-the-air (OTA) system enabling remote vehicle software updates and management.

Freight railroad owner Genesee & Wyoming is considering a sale of all or part of itself, Bloomberg reported

Snapshot

I spent the week in Austin to participate in a number of SXSW-related events, including a couple of panels. As MRD notes in the micromobility section below, scooters were everywhere. And I used them a lot.

Here’s what many might not have considered as they zipped along the streets, and sidewalks of Austin. The new new new thing often kills off something else, or at least forces it to change.

Which brings me to pedicabs. The snapshot below is a long lineup of empty pedicabs in downtown Austin. I saw these pedicabs-sans-riders everywhere in Austin. I remember SXSW just one year ago and the pedicabs were full; I took them several times that week. But now, scooters and bike share are here, and the pedicabs seem to be the ones suffering the most. I hired a pedicab during my stay and the driver confirmed my observations: they’re waiting much longer for customers now.

Sometimes that disruption can hit the new new thing too. Take bike share. The Austin City Council on approved in February 2018 the creation of a “dockless” bike share pilot program. Some companies were already operating these services; this action created a regulatory framework. But then scooters came en masse.

City officials and one dockless mobility executive told me that scooters upended bike share, and prompted companies to take some of their bikes off the streets do to lack of demand.

Tiny but mighty micromobility

It seems like everyone is riding scooters now. Case in point, Austin during SXSW. MRD weighs in on what went down.

I wasn’t in Austin this week for SXSW. And it’s a good thing I wasn’t because there were reports of a tornado! Well, a tornado of scooters. According to The Verge, scooters and bikes were out and about, enabling the hundreds of thousands of conference goers to get from one bar to the next — and from one session to the other.

“Some of the astounding sights I’ve seen in the past few days include multiple vicious-looking wipeouts, a man cranking the accelerator and doing donuts in a crowded parking lot, and scooters littering the gutters of East 6th Street while throngs of people avoid tripping over them,” The Verge’s Nick Statt wrote. “At one point, I read that a man was found riding one down the shoulder of an Austin highway. Riders here are disregarding all manner of street signage and traffic lights; some people flagrantly speed the wrong way down streets.”

In other micromobility news …

Micromobility data platform Populus raised some skrillz — $3.1 million, to be exact. That’s in part because, while cities are down for this new era of transportation and operators are down to share their data, cities still have to find out what to do with this data and how to extract learnings from it.

This is where Populus comes in. Populus raised the seed round from Precursor Ventures, Relay Ventures and others to help cities make sense of the influx of transportation data. This brings the startup’s total funding to $3.85 million.

And … just because scooters are hot right now, doesn’t mean companies aren’t facing headwinds. The Information reported that Bird has laid off between 4 to 5 percent of its workforce.

— Megan Rose Dickey

Notable reads

Navigant Research released its annual, and often controversial autonomous vehicle leaderboard report, by principal analyst Sam Abuelsamid. The Navigant Research Leaderboard examines the strategy and execution of 20 leading automated driving system companies and rates them based on 10 criteria, including vision; go-to market strategy; partners; production strategy; technology; sales, marketing, and distribution; product capability; product quality and reliability; product portfolio; and staying power.

The leaders, in Navigant’s view are:

Waymo

GM Cruise

Ford autonomous vehicles

Aptiv

Intel-Mobileye

Volkswagen Group

Daimler-Bosch

Baidu

Toyota

. Renault-Nissan-Mitsubishi Alliance

Other quotable notables:

With the rise of autonomous delivery bots — or at least news of all the capital they’re raising — it’s worth revisiting a white paper that KPMG put out in November called Autonomy Delivers: An oncoming revolution in the movement of goods. The report notes how e-commerce is pushing this delivery phenomenon forward. Two forecasts worth noting:

expecting no acceleration in e-commerce adoption trends, KMPG estimates that by 2040 e-commerce will reduce shopping trips in the U.S. by 30 percent. It could be as high as 50 percent.

as a result, delivery vehicle miles traveled will skyrocket from 23 billion annual miles to more than 78 billion by 2040.

Testing and deployments

Ford continues to expand its autonomous vehicle program. This time, the automaker is setting up shop in Austin. During my week in Austin for SXSW, I had heard rumors that Ford was preparing to open an autonomous vehicle program there. A number of Ford executives were on the ground in Austin during SXSW to participate in panels and other events including one I moderated at the Smart Mobility Summit.

That chatter was confirmed by a new job listing for an autonomous vehicles “market specialist” based in Austin. Austin is the fifth city to join the automaker’s testing program, which already includes Detroit, Miami, Pittsburgh and Washington D.C.

Meanwhile, Los Angeles is getting ready for a widespread deployment of scooters. About seven companies already have permission to operate on a conditional basis, according to Los Angeles Department of Transportation’s general manager Seleta Reynolds. Now it’s about to get bigger.

The city recently launched a one-year dockless on-demand personal mobility program. As part of that program, the LADOT accepted applications from companies seeking one-year permits. Eleven companies applied for permission to operate about 38,000 dockless devices. The city is prepping for coming deluge by creating designated parking areas and other signage.

psst. Dress rehearsal is over. Almost showtime for real. Keep it tight out there, my dockless-loving friends. pic.twitter.com/h18H0BEKs5

— Seleta Reynolds (@seletajewel) March 16, 2019

That sounds like a lot; and it is. But it could have been a much higher number. If these companies had maxed out the total number allowed under the permit, it could have meant 160,000 scooters in Los Angeles.

Why wouldn’t Bird, Lime, Spin and others max out the allowable 10,500 scooters per permit? Here’s one thought: cost and supply.

The annual permit application fee is a non-refundable $20,000. Companies also most pay $130 fee per vehicle annually if they’re operating in non-disadvantage communities (DAC). LADOT is allowing companies a maximum of 3,000 scooters in non-DAC areas, 5,000 in DACs in San Fernando Valley and up to 2,500 in DACs in outside of San Fernando Valley. Permits for scooters in DACs are $39 per vehicle, a 70 percent reduction in that fee.

That means if a company could max out and hit the 10,500 scooter limit, which includes DACs, it would be looking at more than $700,000 in permitting fees to operate for a year.

Two car things …

Gridwise, a mobile app designed to increases rideshare drivers’ hourly earnings by helping them find more rides and track their performance, launched in a number of cities, including Austin, Dallas, Houston, Los Angeles, and Phoenix. Gridwise app is already available in numberous U.S. cities such as Baltimore, Boston, Chicago, New York City, Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, and Washington DC.

And Citymobil, one of the largest Russian taxi aggregators, has teamed up with Gazprom to launch a taxi runs on natural gas. About 500 taxi cars that participate with Citymobil have already been converted to work on methane. By the end of the year, their number is expected to reach 10,000.

On our radar

There is a lot of transportation-related activity this month.

Nvidia GTC

TechCrunch will be at Nvidia’s annual GPU Technology Conference from March 18 to 21 in San Jose.

The 4th annualADAS Sensors 2019 conference and expo held March 20 to 21 in Detroit Michigan. See the full conference agenda at: http://www.adassensors.com/agenda.html

Self Racing Cars

The annual Self Racing Car eventwill be held March 23 and March 24 at Thunderhill Raceway near Willows, California. Sign up to participate or drop them a line at [email protected].

Thanks for reading. There might be content you like or something you hate. Feel free to reach out to me at [email protected] to share those thoughts, opinions or tips.

Nos vemos la próxima vez.

source https://techcrunch.com/2019/03/17/transportation-weekly-ubers-spending-habits-tesla-model-y-scooters-and-avs-in-austin/

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fmservers · 6 years ago

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Transportation Weekly: Uber’s spending habits, Tesla Model Y, scooters and AVs in Austin

Welcome back to Transportation Weekly; I’m your host Kirsten Korosec, senior transportation reporter at TechCrunch. We love the reader feedback. Keep it coming.

As I’ve written before, consider this a soft launch. Follow me on Twitter @kirstenkorosec to ensure you see it each week. An email subscription is coming!

ONM …

Mark Harris is back with new details on Uber’s autonomous vehicle technology program. The upshot: Uber was spending $20 million a month to develop self-driving technologies.

The new information, gleaned from recently unsealed court documents, provides new insight into the company’s past activities and what that might mean for its upcoming IPO.

Dig In

A little bird …

We hear a lot. But we’re not selfish. Let’s share.

What else are we hearing? There’s a new autonomous trucking company coming out of stealth. We’ll share more soon.

Got a tip or overheard something in the world of transportation? Email me or send a direct message to @kirstenkorosec.

Deal of the week

There is a lot of behind-the-scenes investment and partnership activity in the autonomous vehicle space these days. In short, these relationships are getting messy and hard to follow.

Let’s not forget that Softbank’s Vision Fund already has a nearly 20 percent stake in GM’s self-driving subsidiary GM Cruise following its $2.2 billion investment in 2018.

Other deals:

Flight-hailing startup Blackbird raises $10 million

Drivezy, India’s vehicle-sharing startup is raising more than $100 million

Freight railroad owner Genesee & Wyoming is considering a sale of all or part of itself, Bloomberg reported

Snapshot

Here’s what many might not have considered as they zipped along the streets, and sidewalks of Austin. The new new new thing often kills off something else, or at least forces it to change.

City officials and one dockless mobility executive told me that scooters upended bike share, and prompted companies to take some of their bikes off the streets do to lack of demand.

Tiny but mighty micromobility

It seems like everyone is riding scooters now. Case in point, Austin during SXSW. MRD weighs in on what went down.

In other micromobility news …

And … just because scooters are hot right now, doesn’t mean companies aren’t facing headwinds. The Information reported that Bird has laid off between 4 to 5 percent of its workforce.

— Megan Rose Dickey

Notable reads

The leaders, in Navigant’s view are:

Waymo

GM Cruise

Ford autonomous vehicles

Aptiv

Intel-Mobileye

Volkswagen Group

Daimler-Bosch

Baidu

Toyota

. Renault-Nissan-Mitsubishi Alliance

Other quotable notables:

expecting no acceleration in e-commerce adoption trends, KMPG estimates that by 2040 e-commerce will reduce shopping trips in the U.S. by 30 percent. It could be as high as 50 percent.

as a result, delivery vehicle miles traveled will skyrocket from 23 billion annual miles to more than 78 billion by 2040.

Testing and deployments

psst. Dress rehearsal is over. Almost showtime for real. Keep it tight out there, my dockless-loving friends. pic.twitter.com/h18H0BEKs5

— Seleta Reynolds (@seletajewel) March 16, 2019

Why wouldn’t Bird, Lime, Spin and others max out the allowable 10,500 scooters per permit? Here’s one thought: cost and supply.

That means if a company could max out and hit the 10,500 scooter limit, which includes DACs, it would be looking at more than $700,000 in permitting fees to operate for a year.

Two car things …

On our radar

There is a lot of transportation-related activity this month.

Nvidia GTC

TechCrunch will be at Nvidia’s annual GPU Technology Conference from March 18 to 21 in San Jose.

The 4th annualADAS Sensors 2019 conference and expo held March 20 to 21 in Detroit Michigan. See the full conference agenda at: http://www.adassensors.com/agenda.html

Self Racing Cars

The annual Self Racing Car eventwill be held March 23 and March 24 at Thunderhill Raceway near Willows, California. Sign up to participate or drop them a line at [email protected].

Thanks for reading. There might be content you like or something you hate. Feel free to reach out to me at [email protected] to share those thoughts, opinions or tips.

Nos vemos la próxima vez.

Via Kirsten Korosec https://techcrunch.com

#TechCrunch

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coopdigitalnewsletter · 7 years ago

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25 Sep 2017: Uber vs London, Facebook vs Congress, corner shops vs digital cupboards

Hello, this is the Co-op Digital newsletter. Send us feedback at [email protected].

[Image: Matt/Telegraph, Uber]

Uber not “fit and proper” to hold private hire licence in London

TfL says that it isn’t renewing Uber’s private hire licence in London: “Uber London Limited is not fit and proper to hold a private hire operator licence. TfL considers that Uber's approach and conduct demonstrate a lack of corporate responsibility in relation to a number of issues which have potential public safety and security implications.” Uber say they’ll challenge the decision in court.

Uber’s argument that TfL’s decision will put “more than 40,000 other licensed drivers who rely on our app to make a living out of work” would have had more force if, you know, the drivers actually had jobs. (Recall that Uber energetically argues in court that its drivers *aren’t* employees - and therefore not entitled to employee rights.) Uber is also saying that 3.5 million Londoners rely on Uber for transport, and 640,000 have signed a petition to that effect. And some people are saying that TfL is stifling innovation in the name of black cab protectionism. The anti-innovation argument is also pretty weak - TfL are penalising the company’s practices and ethics, not an app. And there are alternate apps for both drivers and riders, including some co-operative ones.

You could conclude that acting in a transparent and ethical way is generally good for business! And hopefully that’s what Uber’s new boss thinks - he said “the truth is that there is a high cost to a bad reputation”.

Related: what happened when Austin and other cities banned Uber.

Facebook ads and elections

Russia organisations bought political adverts on Facebook seeking to nudge the outcome of the Presidential election - Facebook is handing the ads to Congress. Facebook’s system makes it depressingly easy to “target” anti-Semites and other pitiful groups with ads. A Russian “troll factory” initiates tiny real-world Trump flash mobs - two sides of the power of the web in the same story: Facebook, geolocation, civic action, fake activists.

The company says it will do something about the political ad buys (and the suggestion that all ad buys should be available for third-party inspection is good). But making it incredibly easy for someone to identify the exact group of people they want to display an advert to and then displaying it is Facebook’s business, so it’s not yet clear how effective an internal fix could be. Technology and business models aren’t neutral, but they are often indifferent to the effects they cause or amplify, particularly when those effects are inherent in the business’s mission.

Algorithmic capture

Channel 4 had a story that Amazon was helping terrorists make bombs by suggesting bomb ingredients. The story went viral (eg “Amazon Primed”, “Build your own bomb”), and the tone is that algorithms are running wild and their owners can’t be bothered to provide any oversight. But it may all be a knee-jerk reaction: “Channel 4 has discovered that fireworks enthusiasts and chemistry teachers shop on Amazon”. The wider story is that when ad-funded journalism needs the torrent of clicks from a story going viral, it encourages ready-fire-aim journalism or what we might called inadvertently fake news. So perhaps oversight is needed everywhere.

The common threads in these stories about Uber, Facebook and Amazon are that data and algorithms are valuable, powerful, impactful, indifferent, and that once you’re large enough, the considerations need to be wider than merely the platform you’re building or the financial engine it makes possible. With great scale comes great responsibility. But also: implementing that responsibility will be harder than just adding some more code.

Oh dear bodega: corner shops vs digital cupboards

A food vending machine startup raised eyebrows for saying that it could put small convenience stores out of business and naming itself Bodega (which is New Yorker for “corner shop”). Its boss excitedly said: “Eventually, centralized shopping locations won’t be necessary, because there will be 100,000 Bodegas spread out, with one always 100 feet away from you.”

There was an immediate backlash: the name and comments were insensitive to people than run bodegas, that it might be A Bad Thing to replace convenience stores with digital cupboards or internet fridges because “Mom and Pop” corner stores have served many communities well for many years and provide a valuable social function. And then a few hours later: “Despite our best intentions and our admiration for traditional bodegas, we clearly hit a nerve this morning, we apologize”. Related: Japan has a mature convenience store and vending machine market.

Other food news: last week the newsletter joked about paying for rides with your data or market research… and here’s an art project: pay for your groceries with data. Technology that can scan your whole shopping basket in one go is being piloted in Japan.

Social apps make you sad?

A survey asked 200,000 self-selected iPhone users how much screen time in apps left people feeling happy, and how much time left them in regret. Very roughly, it appears that the apps people are happiest with are task-oriented, and performative social media apps make people sadder. Fear of missing out (FOMO) is perhaps habit-forming and bad for you.

Various things

CityMapper and Gett are trialling a new service in London: a bus/taxi hybrid - fixed route between Highbury and Waterloo, fixed fee, sharing with other passengers, get on/off anywhere along the route, in commuting hours. They say they’ve crunched London’s travel data and found a gap in existing travel services.

Equifax watch: here are a couple more things you shouldn’t do if you’re running a company with lots of user data: 1. forget to disclose a hack five months earlier than the one you did disclose. 2. have your Customer Service teams direct users to a fake security site by mistake.

Electronic Frontier Foundation resigns from W3C consortium over plan to bring DRM controls inside the web browser ecosystem.

Bloom - decentralised, blockchained credit scoring.

WeChat app (600m+ users) updated its privacy policy - it is sharing private user data with the Chinese government.

Good profile of a strong female technical-founder building a big tech firm.

BBC has made a drama for Amazon Echo and Google Home - “Hello, my name is Dave,” says a female voice. “I hope life has been comfortable in the containment room?”

A year ago in the newsletter: Google and Facebook were acqui-hiring chatbot dev teams, and Yahoo disclosed half a billion accounts hacked.

CoopDigital news

Steve Foreshew-Cain: an app for members, training Funeralcare colleagues and an award win.

An app for members: our progress so far.

Events

Funeralcare - Wed 20 Sep 2.00pm at 1 Angel Square 12th Floor breakout.

Co-op platform - Wed 27 Sep 11am at 1 Angel Square 8th floor.

Location services - Wed 27 Sep 3pm at Federation House 6th floor.

Co-op Digital Data Hackathon - Thu 28 Sep all day at Federation House event space on Upper Ground floor.

Food Leading the Way - Thu 28 Sep 11am at at 1 Angel Square 4th Floor Blue Zone.

Thanks for reading. If you want to find out more about Co-op Digital, follow us @CoopDigital on Twitter and read the Co-op Digital Blog.

#uber #facebook #amazon #taxi #london #fomo #bodega

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medicalmarijuana-news · 8 years ago

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The HIGH TIMES Interview: Marzi Montazeri

I arranged to meet guitarist Marzi Montazeri (former Phil Anselmo and the Illegals) a couple of weeks ago at the Rainbow Bar and Grill on Sunset Strip. The plan was to enjoy a few drinks, have a nice dinner and dive into the interview like a true, brazen professional. But as with any situation involving rock ‘n’ roll, an insatiable thirst for cheap beer and the adrenaline that was sure to spill while mingling in the very spot where legendary bands like Led Zeppelin and Mötley Crüe once came to relish in drunken savagery, the chances of getting out of there with any memory of the night whatsoever, much less with a well documented account of Marzi’s current affairs, were not on my side.

I thought about this, as my Uber driver dropped me off in front of the bar. “Welcome to the drunken jungle,” I thought. “You’re screwed.”

Once inside, I could tell the evening was destined to go down pretty much the way I had anticipated. There was simply too much happening all around us to properly take care of the business at hand. But then again, I began to ponder, through a series of two-fisted flashes of quasi-philosophic swill and burp-infused backwash, how this meeting was never really about work—although I had an editor back in New York that would surely beg to differ. From where I was sitting, Marzi and I were just a couple of guys with good intentions, each doing their best to conduct themselves like true masters of their respective trade in the midst of a wild-eyed Saturday night. Greater men than us would have broken under the weight of less debauchery. I had watched it happen countless times before.

Somewhere along the way, the mission, my assignment to find out more about this prolific guitar player, had taken backseat to the rapid pulse of the Hollywood music scene, and there was a point—I swear to the Gods of Earth and heavy metal, there was—when Marzi began to subliminally transmit a signal to me from across the table, quite possibly in the key of E-flat minor, that when translated to the English language sounded a whole lot like, “Fuck this interview shit, let’s just go out back and get stoned.”

So, that’s what we did.

We fired up a joint in what has been deemed Lemmy’s Lounge and proceeded to smoke the damn thing as though we were literally standing in the boots of those untouchable high heroes that had come before us. But the grand illusion was soon shattered when one of the Rainbow’s security guards politely told us that we would have to take the weed outside. Of course, we obliged. It was then that Marzi, a real charismatic force and all around nice guy, really began to loosen up. The man had a story to tell. So, no matter how hard his manager mad dogged me from across the way (at least that was my perception… but then again, I was probably just high), I kept my recorder rolling the entire time. It seemed the interview would go down as planned.

HIGH TIMES: You’re in town playing the Randy Rhoads Remembered show at the Jost Theater. How did you get involved with that project?

Marzi Montazeri: Brian Tichy, a former drummer for Ozzy Osbourne, Whitesnake, Billy Idol and a slew of other folks, reached out to see if I was interested in playing. So I came out here [to Los Angeles] and picked out S.A.T.O. [from Ozzy’s “Diary of a Madman”], because I really wanted to play that song. I think Sebastian Bach wanted to play it also, so I was like, “Whoa, I get to jam with Sebastian.” But then Tichy told me that Sebastian wanted to play it with his guitar player. On the night of the show, they told me that Gus G [former Ozzy guitarist] cancelled, so they wanted me to play “Mr. Crowley” instead. Crowley has two solos in it, so I had to learn the stuff real quick.

HT: Hell yeah, I saw that video. You got to jam with legendary bassist Rudy Sarzo. How was that experience?

MM: You know, so the time comes to go on stage, and I’m taking a leak, and I hear someone calling my name, “Marzi!” So I just run downstairs grab my fiddle, jump on stage and we started playing “Crowley.”

When it was over, I looked to my right and Rudy’s just walking towards me, man, and he reaches out his hand for a handshake. I shake his hand and say, “I love you, man,” and then he pulls me in for a hug. It was a very emotional moment for me. It was absolutely cool. This time around, on Thursday night, as a matter of fact, I got to jam with Phil Soussan.

HT: You also performed with a Rush tribute this week at the Jost Theater.

MM: Yes. I played in “A Farewell to Kings,” which is four decades of Rush music. I picked the song “Anthem” from the Fly By Night album. I knew I could get away with playing it a little bit heavier than what Rush had done it and still pay homage to it…and so I did. I think that’s probably the heaviest version of “Anthem” being played, you know. I know other bands have covered it, but I did it quite differently that night. I even pulled off Alex’s [Lifeson] solo close to what he had done, even though I’m not the note for note guy. It was really fun.

HT: Washburn is about the release a signature series Marzi Montazeri guitar called “The Priestess.” How did that come about? I mean, how does a musician end up getting his own guitar model?

MM: A big part of it has to do with a gentleman named Joe Delaney, who is the president of U.S. Music Corporation. I had my eyes set on a signature amp, to be honest with you, and that’s what the talks were about…and it’s still going to happen. It’s going to happen next year at NAMM—my Marzi Montazeri signature head. But with the guitar, that’s first obviously, that was the push from Joe. I think he has the same kind of spirit as I do. When he saw me play, I think he saw this wild American blues, hard rock, aggressive metal, extreme player, where it was just like fun and dangerous. I think that’s what he liked about me, and he pushed for it.

So he connected me with Greg Heritier, who has been with Washburn for about 15 years, and Greg and I—Greg lives in Amsterdam mind you, I live in Houston, Texas—went back and forth in the beginning. It was like a tennis match. We weren’t seeing eye-to-eye. He had some vision and I had some other vision. But we created this baby together. The Priestess that you see today is our baby. It’s the fruit of our labor, so to speak. I got to tell you, it exceeded my expectations. It’s comfortable to play it and it gets so many different varieties of tones from like a Les Paul to the thing I love the most, which is a Gibson Firebird. Seymor Duncan designed a couple of Humbuckers for me we call “Hickups,” instead of pickups, because I’m a damn hick. It’s an extreme instrument…you can just get after it, you can go crazy with it, and you can literally play any sound of music that you want with it. It’s about to be available through Musician’s Friend.

HT: Let’s address the elephant in the room. What happened with Phil Anselmo and the Illegals?

MM: It ran its course. I did what I was supposed to do and it ended. I found out through the Internet. Someone posted a picture of the band with another guitar player, so that’s how I found out. I was more relieved than anything. It had run its course for me, and musically I’m obviously already doing other things. I’m glad it happened. I’m really happy where I’m at, and I wouldn’t be here right now if that gig wouldn’t of happened. I have no ill feelings whatsoever, and what I accomplished during that time was notable. I’m off to a new chapter.

HT: When you and I first met in St. Louis during the PHA and Illegals “Technicians of Distortion” tour a couple of years back, you seemed pretty excited to get started on the band’s second record. Did everything just go to shit from there?

MM: In my heart, I thought there was going to be a sophomore attempt, but a sophomore attempt would have pushed that band, especially with the same line up, to another level. And I don’t think it was something they were welcoming with me being a part of it. I require a certain type of attention. I’m a songwriter. I’m not a follower. I’m not going to have my contribution not be noted, and they were not noted. I was not credited for the things I had done, so I wanted to take charge of that this time around.

HT: So, that’s when you decided to go out on your own?

MM: You know, I was really anxious because I obviously want to put music out, but I didn’t want to rush anything. I thought, “What do I have to prove…why don’t I take my time and do certain things to make sure that this music gets heard on a broader scale.” So I met with a friend of mine [Paul Provost] that had the same idea about my career, so we became partners and started a label called Crunchy Western Records, which pretty much describes what type of music I play. If you were to dissect that label, I would call it heavy Texas blues and beyond. Now you can take that to any kind of southern genre and change it to Mississippi and you’re still going to get that same kind of thing. I think there’s a little bit of Marzi in everybody, so I wanted to make sure that I get this music out to people and share it with them.

HT: Does that mean there is a new Marzi record coming out in the near future?

MM: Yes. My first attempt on Crunchy Western is slated for 4-20, for obvious reasons. It is Marzi Montazeri featuring Tim “Ripper” Owens… or something like that. It’s just me and Tim Owens, who is former Judas Priest. It’s unlike anything else he’s done before, which makes it really interesting. It’s refreshing, and at a time like today, for us to be doing what we’re doing, I cannot wait for the people to hear it. We got Chris Collier, a Grammy nominated engineer/producer from Los Angeles to work on this record. He has put his golden touch on it and made it sound absolutely amazing. I can’t wait, and it’s coming April 20th. By then, we will probably release a video or sneak peak of song. And that’s just the beginning.

HT: How did you get involved with Tim Owens?

MM: I was backstage trying to catch my breath after a show ,and this girl comes and says, “Bobby Blotzer from Ratt wants to say hi to you.” Now I’m like in North Houston, okay, what’s a Hollywood boy doing there? I thought they were full of shit, and I was like, “Go fuck yourself.” The door opens up and he’s just sneaking his head in. He was lit up and said something about doing too many shooters. I didn’t know what “shooters” were because we do shots in Texas. He tells me my performance was the greatest display of metal he had ever seen. We befriended each other that night. He later invited me out to his house for a little barbecue. After that, he asked if I wanted to be on the Judas Priest tribute record [Hell Bent Forever]. We were going to do the song “Exciter.”

He had a studio in Houston, and when I showed up he said, “Where’s your guitar?” I told him I brought a pick. I was so unprepared. There was a cool guy at the studio and he let me borrow his Les Paul. As I’m warming up, this guy tells me, “Hey, you know I come to Houston often. If you want me to give you guitar lessons, I will.” It was Tim Owens. He’s perfect. His harmonies are amazing. He is a freaking machine, man, and he’s a true gentleman. He’s an articulate guy who takes care of business, and to top it all off, he has a great sense of humor.

HT: What about your band Heavy As Texas. Can we expect to hear new music from that as well?

MM: Yes. The next release we’re doing is from my band Heavy As Texas. It’s got unbelievable members in it, just great, talented, beautiful people. We got the great Kyle Thomas of the original Exhorder from New Orleans. Best heavy band ever. He was with many other bands, like Alabama Thunder Pussy, which had a hit song called “Words of a Dying Man.” It was on MTV. He is now the current singer for Trouble, and he is also the current singer for Heavy As Texas.

HT: Are there plans to tour with any of these projects?

MM: Definitely. Not only will Heavy As Texas tour the U.S., we’re going to go to Canada, Central and South America, and I really predict Europe before anything else, too.

HT: I was just talking to a member of your crew. He told me that you get stoned before every live performance. Is that true… because your playing seems flawless?

MM: Oh man, yes absolutely. It’s a ritual. There’s nothing wrong with it. Best thing to do is to medicate. But I’ve never done it for the sake of wasting time. It’s always inspired me. First thing marijuana did for me in my twenties was make me a more focused musician. I was such a sporadic, son of a bitch guitar player… all over the place. It made me very perceptive in this world where you have nothing but distractions. So I’d put in a movie like “Pink Floyd: The Wall” with my buddies back in high school. I’d even tell em’, “Man, not a peep out of you motherfuckers. Nobody talks until after the movie and we can discuss.” So we’d burn one and watch the movie. You could tell everyone was into it. You can hit a joint without having to flap your damn mouth. And it was awesome. Then we would have a lot of pizza and jam out. You know there’s always a fun aspect to it.

HT: So do you prefer marijuana to booze?

MM: The alcohol versus marijuana debate is the most asinine, ignorant thing I grew up with. I still hear about it, and I’m like, “you must be joking.” People drinking bottles of whiskey, looking down on you cause you smoke weed. Living in Texas, it’s just taboo. They sit there with a drink in their hands, slurring their words, but criticize me for doing something natural, from the earth, to help myself focus or help myself because I’m sick…because I am, in many different ways.

HT: Have you ever been busted for marijuana possession?

MM: Man, I’ve had so many brushes with the law, it’s not even funny. But it is funny as hell. I can tell you stories for days. One time, we had like a half-pound, and my buddy and me get pulled over. Both of us had warrants. The cop took our licenses and you know, the pot was right under my feet. He came back and said, “You both have warrants, you know.” I was just thinking of all these bad things, and then he tells us that he doesn’t feel like dealing with it. It was after hours, and he was ready to go home, so he pardoned us and said, “I’m sure you guys are going to take care of these warrants.”

Another time, I had a couple J’s rolled in my truck for after a gig. The truck was a ’62 Ford…no tags or insurance. I don’t know why I took it to the gig. So we get pulled over by eight state troopers. It wasn’t eight in the beginning, it was just one. But they were like piling up one after another. I gave these two joints to my guitar tech and told him to get rid of them. This cop got us out and he questioned us. I remember he put me back in the truck, and he took my friend out. He was asking us if we had dope, and of course we told him no. He’s going through my guitar case, going through my cables and then second car comes, third car comes, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth car comes.

So they get us out and say, “what do we got here?” My brilliant friend had just tossed them, but the eight cops found them. So the main guy gets me out, but before I get to the bed of my truck he says, “We can talk about two chicken shit joints all night or,” as soon as he said they’re chicken shit joints, I told him they were mine. I saw anger in him, so I fessed up quickly. I told him I was going to smoke them after my show. And he says, “Well, why did you lie to me?” I said I got nervous man, I’m scared, my girlfriend’s 10 months pregnant. I remember saying that: My girlfriend’s fucking 10 months pregnant (laughs). Then he said, “Go on and get then.” I swear to you. Go on and get. After 45 minutes, get it to a climax like that. I fucking took off and got with my buddy. The joints were on the dash and I helped myself to one on the way home. Good times. It was awesome.

Mike Adams is a freelance writer for HIGH TIMES, Snoop Dogg’s Merry Jane and several other marijuana-themed publications. His work has also appeared in Playboy. You can follow him at: http://ift.tt/1ZNXISA, on Twitter @adamssoup or on Instagram @mikeadamsofficial.

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