#its why i also went to the dining halls in college during off peak hours

[nako-doodles]

wow i have so much respect, how did it happened? u just ate everything?

oh wow ok sit down children it’s Story Time

the first time was at a hot pot restaurant and they have a thing where if you go on your bday w your company, you eat free (and we all know what a hoe i am for Free Food™️) anyways the long and short of it was i ate....9? 10? plates of beef tripe, duck blood, and fish tofu bc im also a protein hoe (vegan vegetarians look away) bc ofc im gonna indulge on my bday and basically the waiters were all like The Fuck?? and kindly asked us to leave and heavily implied I should not be brought along

the second time i went to this spanish french fusion restaurant along the pyrenees with my parents bc we were going snowboarding in andorra to celebrate my parents’ 20th anniversary and i was a Starving Middle Schooler so i basically.....ate like 2 trays of paella and creme brûlée? and both my parents, bless their hearts, taking turns to feed me off their plates so it’s not so obvious but like we were the only ones there idk who they were trying to fool anyways the owner came out and started crying and tldr we are banned from a small buffet in the outskirts of andorra

third time it was the hotel continental breakfast at this fancy ass hotel (bc our flight got cancelled bc of....a snowstorm? or was it bc a bankruptcy? an earthquake??? and basically there were a bunch of post tsa passengers who had no where to go and no where to stay and so we all had a complimentary night in a 5 star hotel) and me being me, basically cleared the entire fruit and french toast tray within an hour and the hotel waitresses were like we have other guests to serve? and im like ur a 5 star restaurant with a two story continental buffet and literally 5 other trays of the exact same thing? im also ur guest? also i didn’t just hog the entire tray i took portions like the civilized human that i am? do you know how much energy i have expended constantly getting up for more food bc i didn’t want to look like a pig? fuck you anyways tldr; the four seasons in hangzhou hates me

[heavcnslyre]

never leave me again — leo valdez x reader

in which you return from years of being missing, only to find that your boyfriend, leo valdez, has been missing as well.

warnings swearing

notes it’s been a few months since i’ve read the books so i kind of just made this my own. also this took me DAYS to write so pls appreciate it w me

events in this are not all canon

masterlist

the scent of camp half blood was familiar— yet something felt different. it had been years since you had smelt it, and being there again brought upon a feeling you couldn’t quite explain. you listened for the familiar ruffle of the trees and the rippling of the lake, but heard nothing. it was silent; eerily silent. it was the middle of summer, yet the camp was still.

although, you had been away from everything for so long, you didn’t actually know if it was summer or not. truthfully, you didn’t even know exactly what year it was.

you inched towards the entrance of camp nervously. something inside of you was scared that you weren’t even going to be let into the camp— but as you read the ancient greek at the entrance fluently and your foot went through the barrier, you instantly calmed down. the familiar atmosphere of the camp was comforting, even if you could automatically feel how different it was.

making your way to the big house, you gathered that it was still early in the morning as you saw the sun peaking out in the east. it was chilly and the grass was wet and suddenly you realized how tired you were. you wanted nothing more than to collapse into your bunk in cabin 18. your cabin was often lively, as it was common for children of hebe to enjoy parties and be social; but you only had a few siblings and you were one of the oldest. they listened to you if you asked them to quiet down, and the environment of your cabin was soothing. you found yourself longing for it on rough nights, and now that you were back, you debated on just going straight there as if nothing happened.

but, you fought the temptation and knocked on the door to the big house. you found yourself anxious for a moment that no one would be awake, but you heard movement from the inside and the door opened seconds later. you looked down and saw chiron sitting in his wheelchair. he looked the same, as you assumed he would. somehow, he didn’t look surprised to see you.

“(y/n). i thought you’d be here today,” he said, moving himself out of the way. “come in, we can talk.”

you followed him to the main table in the house and took a seat across from him. he settled his hands into his lap and studied you. suddenly aware of how you may have changed, you shifted in your seat awkwardly.

“chiron, can i ask...” you said after a moment. “how long has it been? how long have i been gone?”

“a little over two years.”

you sank down in your seat. “oh.”

“do you want to fill me in on where you’ve been, or should i tell you what happened here first?”

“oh, uh— i guess a lot of its fuzzy,” you started. “i was with hera, and she sent me to do... different quests. time doesn’t really feel real, at this point. i never got a break, i don’t think. she sent me places and i forgot a lot about... my life. and everything.”

“do you remember everything now?”

“i remember all of my life before hera— yeah,” you paused, taking it in. “but i don’t remember a lot of what she had me do, or whatever she said to me when i wasn’t off on a quest. that’s why i didn’t know how much time passed, it feels like it’s been three years and three days at the same time.”

chiron sighed. “i get that. the gods have the powers to do whatever they want to time and your memory— but they rarely use the ability. but hera, after all she’s done...”

“why is she so against demigods? after she switched jason and percy for no reason we thought she was done, why did she need to take me?”

“i guess we’ll never truly know her intentions,” chiron said. “i did assume now is when you would return, though. leo valdez is missing.”

you felt your heart skip a beat. leo. he had been a constant in your mind in the past two years that you had been gone, just like how percy explained that annabeth was all he could remember. you had started dating a few months before you disappeared. suddenly you yearned for his warmth, remembering the feeling of his arms wrapped around you. your heart ached for him for years and now that you’re home— he’s gone.

“how... how long has he been missing?” you asked. chiron frowned.

“a few months. after the war ended, he disappeared, basically into the sky. (y/n)... there’s a good chance he didn’t survive.”

you could almost feel your heart breaking, but you knew that wasn’t the main issue at the moment. you took a deep breath to gather yourself. “how’s everyone else doing?”

“it’s been rough, obviously. the prophecy of the seven was fulfilled, which was hard enough on the campers. and with leo gone... no ones sure how to continue. but, we are at peace with rome and some campers are planning on college in great rome,” chiron said, obviously proud. you smiled gently.

“thats... amazing. is everyone here now? piper, annabeth, percy and jason?”

chiron nodded. “everyone is here. it is early, though. i suggest you head to your cabin for some rest, unless you have anymore questions?”

“honestly, i have hundreds. but... my brain is foggy. i can’t really focus on anything right now so, later. later i’ll bombard you with the questions,” you joked and chiron smiled.

“go, get some rest. breakfast starts in about an hour and a half, but you take all the time you need,” you stood up.

“thank you, chiron. it’s good to be back.”

as soon as you slipped into your cabin, you felt at home. you saw your younger siblings sleeping soundly and that warmed your heart to see. they were safe; they were okay.

your bunk was obviously saved for you. there were organized bags of your stuff laying on top, and the sheets were made neatly. you could tell that no one had slept there since you left. the thought of this was bittersweet; you were happy they waited for you but... you couldn’t imagine how worried they all were for you.

the more you thought about it, the more you realized how many people could have been worried for you.

when percy and jason were switched back, everyone seemed to be at ease. the romans and greeks seemed to be getting along, and things were good... for about an hour.

you were walking around rome with leo. the seven of the prophecy had been decided; leo was one of them, you were not. this wasn’t easy for either of you, as you had recently began dating, but you both knew that this didn’t mean forever. cherishing your time together, you walked hand in hand down the beautiful streets of new rome. after a while, leo decided he was going to go check up on the argo ii, make sure it was ready for the quest to come. you kissed him goodbye, and told him to iris message you whenever he got the chance.

before you knew it, camp jupiter was being attacked. and leo was the one behind it.

you ran through the crowd, trying to push towards the ship to see what the hell was happening to leo. but the romans were angry— and you were wearing an orange shirt.

you didn’t know exactly what happened next. one second you were pushing through the crowd, the next second you woke in a bright room, hera standing over you.

thus the years with hera began. she told you that she needed you— and she’d bring you home when you were ready. she brought you places and gave you quests to do, and the more time you spent with her, the more you weren’t sure how much time had passed, and the more you forgot your real life. you were stuck in an endless loop, until this morning, where hera plopped you down right outside of camp half-blood; with a fuzzy memory and a million questions.

you woke up later to an empty cabin. it was obvious people had been in and out of it, and you wondered how everyone reacted when they saw you in your bed. you were just internally grateful no one woke you up.

after getting ready (putting on a new camp t-shirt was so refreshing) you slipped out of your cabin and out into the sunlight. at first, it didn’t register how much time had passed, because everyone was in the dining hall as they would be during breakfast. but, after examining more, you gathered that you had awoken just as dinner was starting, and you had slept all day. you stood back, taking in the familiarity of the buzz of mealtime. as you stood there, unsure on how to present yourself to the campers, you heard your name.

“(y/n)?” you looked forward to be met with the gaze of your best friend, piper mclean, standing by her table, staring at you in disbelief. “i can’t believe it.”

the entire hall hushed as everyone looked in your direction. you were suddenly aware of every little thing about yourself, and you hated the attention. but when piper rushed forward to hug you, you ignored your surroundings and let yourself feel comfort in her hug. it had been so long since you had felt so... loved. after these past couple of years, then the news that leo was missing, taking in the scent and warmth of your best friend was the most comforting thing you could imagine.

piper pulled back from your hug and studied your face. you studied hers as well, noticing everything you could; any change you could find. but, she looked almost the same. she was the prettiest person you had ever seen, and although she seemed slightly older and wiser, it wasn’t in a negative way. “are you okay?”

“i’m fine,” you said. “obviously i’m... adjusting. but, i’m okay.”

“what happened to you? where have you been?” piper asked gently.

“when the romans were angry at us, after leo...” you hesitated and piper’s expression softened. you cleared your throat. “i was attacked, or something. next thing i knew i was with hera and basically did anything she needed. i was so tired, constantly doing work for her. everything i did with her is sort of fuzzy though, just like my personal life was when i was working for her, if that makes sense.”

“hera’s the worst,” piper said. “guess switching jason and percy just wasn’t enough for her.”

you raised your eyebrows in agreement before being approached by annabeth chase, one of your other closest friends, who hugged you tightly. “i’m so relieved you’re alright.”

“back at you,” you said. percy and jason followed close behind annabeth, and you hugged both of them as well. “i can’t imagine things have been easy for you guys.”

“it’s been rough,” jason agreed. “but we got through it.”

your mind went straight to leo, and the four of them obviously noticed. piper put her hand on your shoulder and jason frowned. “hey, i’m sure he’s...”

“no,” you stopped him. “it’s fine. i... i’m really proud of you guys. seriously, saving the world and shit. that’s pretty cool.”

they all laughed which brought a warm feeling to your chest. it was going to be rough without leo, but you adored your friends. you knew they’d be there for you no matter what.

“c’mon, you must be starving,” annabeth said. “plus, i think you have a few more people to chat with.”

annabeth motioned towards your cabins table, where your siblings sat anxiously, watching you with wide eyes. you grinned at the sight and made your way over to the table, only to be met with smiling faces and lots of questions.

weeks past since you had returned to camp. you were settled back in and at ease with everything, but things still felt off. you figured it was just because you were most excited to come back to camp to see leo, but he was gone. and you didn’t even know if he was still alive.

you spent your days training and reconnecting with your friends. they had been through so much, and you couldn’t imagine how painful it was for them. they asked you questions about what you had been up to, but you weren’t able to answer them. you couldn’t remember a thing— it was like the past years had never happened. as days went on you forgot more and more about what you had done.

one morning, you stayed behind to finish cleanup in your cabin. now that you returned to camp, you returned to your position as head counselor. you were protective over your siblings (since you were the oldest), so when everyone was running late for breakfast, you volunteered to finish cleanup.

after you finished making all the beds, you fixed your hair and slipped out of your cabin. when the mess hall came into your line of vision, you paused as you saw a group of campers gathered around something. the scene was similar to how everyone reacted when you returned, and you watched curiously. but when you studied the campers who were grouped together, you realized it was a majority of the hephaestus canon who was standing. your eyes widened and you hurried forward, into the mess hall.

nyssa barrera, one of the older hephaestus kids, looked over at you and her eyes widened. she pulled a few of her siblings back to make room, and you were met with the grinning face of leo valdez.

your leo, standing there, in the flesh.

it took him a moment to see you, but when he did, his expression softened. he visibly relaxed, and his eyes studied your face. you were frozen in your spot and your eyes never left his. he inched towards you, and before you knew it you charged forward to him and threw your arms around his neck. he buried his face in your neck as he held you tightly around your waist. you took in his natural warmth and his vague scent of campfires and motor oil. he rubbed your back as you held him as tightly as possible. you never wanted to let go.

when you finally did pull back, you missed his warmth immediately. in his arms you felt safe, and that was something you had missed with your whole heart.

“are you okay?” was the first thing he asked you, tucking your hair behind your ears. you smiled at the sound of his voice. you didn’t realize how many little things you had missed.

“i’m okay. are you?”

“i’m... amazing,” he studied your face again. “gods i’ve missed you.”

“i’ve missed you too, you have no idea,” you said. your eyes drifted to a girl you didn’t recognize standing awkwardly behind leo. “who is that?”

leo raised his eyebrows and turned around to look at who you were referring to. “oh, this is my friend. calypso.”

“oh!” you said, remembering the story of calypso. “thats... hi! it’s really cool to meet you.”

“you as well,” calypso responded, her voice smooth. “leo talked about you non-stop.”

maybe it was the longing look on her face, or the fact that you had just finally reconnected with your boyfriend, but you moved towards calypso and pulled her into a hug. she tensed, but after a moment she relaxed and hugged you back. when you pulled back, you gave her a warm smile and when she gave you one back, you knew that there was no bad blood between you. calypso wanted to be loved— but she wasn’t interested in leo.

you turned around to find your way back next to leo. he watched you with a fond look on his face, and when you were closer to him, he grabbed your hand tightly. at this moment you made a promise to yourself — you would never lose him again.

chiron ended up coming over to tell people to sit at their tables for breakfast, but leo leaned over to whisper to you, “want to go chat? just the two of us?”

“absolutely.”

the two of you snuck out of the mess hall (although, if anyone had seen you, you doubted they would stop you from leaving). you made your way down towards the lake, hand in hand. you sat down next to each other, leo’s arm around your waist and your head on his shoulder.

“so how did you get calypso off her island?” you asked him after a moment of silence.

“well, i landed on her island a little while ago but i had to leave, obviously. was in the middle of a quest,” he said. “but she was miserable there, so i promised i’d come back to get her. and a few months ago, i landed on her island again, but with a plan this time.”

you listened intently. “and it worked?”

“for the most part. i had to work really hard to figure out a way to make it work, but it did. i just hope she gets a real chance to be happy now that she’s off her island.”

“that’s amazing. you did it against all odds, right?”

he chuckled lightly. “guess so. what about you? what happened to you?” you sighed and sat up to face him.

“i guess i’m not completely sure,” you started. he knit his eyebrows. “i was working with... or i guess, for, hera. but i don’t remember most of what she made me do. i just know i went on quests for her, and time didn’t really feel real. i had no idea how much time had passed when i returned.”

“gods that sounds... terrible,” he said genuinely. you shrugged.

“i got through it,” you grabbed his hand and started tracing lines on it. “and so did you.”

leo hummed and moved his other hand to your cheek. “i always knew you’d come back.”

“i knew you would, too.”

“promise to never leave me again?” you leaned into his hand.

“only if you promise me the same thing.”

[sammyspartan]

I wrote a thing for the Fire Emblem Heroes subreddit. Figured I’d post it here too. I think it technically counts as fanfiction but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. If it’s good, it’s good, if not, I’m open to criticism.     

 I rolled over in my bed. It was fairly soft, but not soft enough. Sharena had assured me that it would break in eventually, but one year later, and it still hadn't. I suppose it was better than the one I'd had in my dorm, but then again, anything would be better than a college dorm bed. I sighed.

Five minutes passed. "I'm not going to get back to sleep, am I?" I thought to myself. I'd woken up maybe thirty minutes earlier to a sky that was barely lit. By my best guess it was maybe five in the morning. No, it was wintertime. It must be later then. I rolled over again. My eyes were heavy with stress, but I still didn't feel any rest coming over me.

Eventually I gave up. I slowly pulled myself out of bed, and felt my feet hit the cold stone floor. The castle in which the Order of Heroes was located had a protective enchantment that was meant to keep the building at a nice temperature year-round, but it did so only by regulating a specific climate. It did nothing to actually keep my room especially warm at night. I took a few steps forward and sat myself at my desk. Littered along the wall around it were sketches I’d drawn in my spare time. It passed the slow hours during particularly sleepless mornings and nights. I grabbed some nearby paper and a pencil, which thank God they had in this world, and began to make a rough sketch of a character.

About another half hour had past before I heard a knock on my door. Well, I actually heard a few, but I couldn’t tell what they were at first in my restless state. I got up and meandered toward the door, pulling away the three locks- Alfonse had insisted upon three to keep my safe- and gingerly pulled the door open. Standing there to greet me was Sharena, all dressed and ready for the day.

I blinked, then yawned. “Sharena? What’d you need?”

She gave a small giggle. “What, not even a good morning? That’s rather unlike you Sam!”

I yawned again. “Sorry, I… didn’t get as much sleep as I would’ve liked.”

“Again? Man, you really must need that sleep medicine you had in your world.”

I instinctively averted my gaze upon her mention of my world, but quickly recomposed myself. “Melatonin? I don’t think it’s technically medicine, it’s something that the body makes on its own. It just happens that taking pills of it can help with sleep, if you need it.”

“We should work on getting some of that for you, or at least some potion to help with sleep, or something.” She went on. “Anyway, if you’re feeling tired, let’s get you some coffee!”

“Eh.” I muttered, but followed her anyway.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Sharena wound up leading me to the common room for the leaders of the Order. It was a room I knew well as, despite the fact that there is a dedicated war room, many of our plans were made here anyway, as me and the rest of the Order’s leaders would always be in here anyway.

“I never liked this stuff.” I stated, gulping it down anyway.

“Neither does Commander Anna, but she still drinks it. Coffee is useful.”

“Did somebody brew coffee?” Another voice joined in.

“Hey Alfonse!” Sharena called.

“Good morning Sis. Good morning Sam.”

“Morning, Alfonse.” I replied.

Sharena suddenly slammed her hands on the table. “Sam!”

“Sharena.” I joked.

“I just realized something!”

“What?”

“Fjorm doesn’t know this is your anniversary!”

 I said nothing, just looking down at my coffee sitting on the table.

“We should keep it a surprise!”

Alfonse finally pulled out a chair and sat down at the table with us. “Why would we keep that a secret from Fjorm? It’s not her anniversary, it’s Sam’s.”

“Well yeah, but Sam already knows, we can’t keep it a surprise from her!”

While Sharena and Alfonse went on about the ups and downs of surprising Fjorm, my thoughts turned to other things. To the past year, specifically. Of all the things that went on, all of the battles fought. Hell, even the festivals, and the celebrations. I remembered partying in the summer with the rest of the order, and my surprise when I summoned Frederick and Corrin in swimwear, of all things. I remembered trying on bridal gowns with Sharena. I remembered the performing festival, and when I finally got to meet, and even befriend some of the most legendary heroes of all time, like Ike, or Lyndis, or Sigurd.

I tried to find solace in the good that had happened, but I couldn’t. The more I tried to focus on the good, the more I focused on the bad. Failing to save Zacharias, being unable to reunite the Nohrian siblings with Xander. How I couldn’t get back…

I could feel myself beginning to choke up.

“Sam? Are you doing okay?” Alfonse placed his hand on my own, pulling me back to reality.

“What? Oh, right. Sorry, I was just reflecting.”

“Reflecting, huh? Well, I suppose that’s to be expected at a time like an anniversary.” He commented.

“Were you thinking about all the great times we had? Remember when we tried on those wedding dresses? You looked stunning!” Sharena was obviously trying to cheer me up. “Or how about the summer festivals! When Commander Anna walked in on Alfonse-“

“That’s enough of that!” Alfonse interjected.

I managed a weak laugh. “Yeah, I remember. Thanks Sharena.”

“This is a time to celebrate! We can’t have the special gal all mopey!”

I looked back at my coffee for a second. “You’re right.”

-----------------------------------

Sharena eventually convinced Alfonse to keep the festival surprise from Fjorm, but some other heroes, Eirika and Mia, I believe, had already told her anyway.

There was a party being held in the main dining hall. There was food, and music provided Azura. At one point Olivia and Inigo had put on a spur of the moment dance for everyone, though Inigo had to convince his mother to do so.

I decided to make it a point to try and hold conversation with as many of the Order as I could. I’d recognized that there were some in the order I didn’t really speak to as much as I really should have, so I made it a point to start with them. Both Eldigan and Hawkeye seemed pleasantly surprised to be speaking to me at length for once, and Corrin was happy to have a lengthy conversation for me for the first time in a while.

Of course, I also spoke with some of the Heroes I was closest with too. Nephenee, Ike, Lyon, Elise, all of whom were some of my closest friends within the order. Ike and Nephenee had always known one another, being from the same world, but Lyon and Elise were from two separate worlds altogether. Other than the fact that those four were often used in conjunction by the order, I suspect that they grew close together due to the same sense of duty to their people they shared. At the very least, Lyon and Elise certainly had the same gentle nature.

Eventually however, my coffee wore off, and I found myself on a balcony outside, getting some fresh air, and taking a break from the energetic nature of the Order.

“I take it you needed a break?” I heard a familiar voice call.

“Hey, Fjorm.”

“Lady Samantha.” She greeted, courteously.

“You know I’m not a noble. Just Sam is fine.”

“You, and the rest of the Order, have shown me unimaginable kindness in taking me in. The least I can do is show you proper respect. You may not be of noble birth, or even of this world, but you will always command my respect.”

I smiled. “Thank you.”

She smiled back, and I turned back to look out at the world. The balcony outlooked into a vast mountain range in the horizon, with snowy white capped peaks, and pine trees dotting the landscape. Closer to the castle were snow covered plains, and forests of leaf-less trees.

“It must be odd for you, looking out at this landscape.” Fjorm wondered aloud.

“Why do you say that?” I asked.

“You are not from this world. I had figured you must look out into this world and wonder how you could’ve possibly come to a place like this.

I laughed. “Not at all, actually. If anything, I look at this and it astounds me how much it reminds me of my home.”

“Really?”

“It’s true, I grew up in a world vastly different than this one. My world has technological wonders that people from this world couldn’t possibly imagine, and yet, we also lack magic, or any tangible gods, unlike this world. You have magic, and gods that constantly both commune with you and even take an active role in your histories, and yet your technology would be considered primitive by most people from my world. But…”

“But what?”

“But our worlds aren’t as cookie cutter as that. I come from a place with harsh winters, and hot summers, just like Askr. Our people aren’t so one dimensional and flat. They have all sorts of different pasts, personalities, and motivations, just like the people within the Order, and yet people can still come together to make communities, cities, and nations. Sure, sometimes I look out at this world, and wonder how the hell I’m ever going to get back home. But other times… other times, I look out at this world, and it only reassures me. I will get home someday. I thought you of all people would understand that.”

Fjorm looked out at the horizon for a bit longer, then nodded her head. “Yes, I think I do understand you. You have faith that you will one day return to your friends and family, just as I have faith that I will one day return to my Kingdom. I do have one more question for you, however.”

“What’s that?”

“You have made friends within the Order. When you return home, do you think you’ll ever be able to see them again, if they live in another world?”

I paused for a moment, then turned to face Fjorm. “I could never say for certain. But something in my gut tells me to have faith.”

“Then I shall have faith as well, that once you return home, I will be able to see you as well.” Fjorm gave a small smile at me.

As the sun set over the mountains, and orange began to cover the once white landscapes below, I turned back into the hall.

That night, I sat at my desk, looking at the papers lining the wall once again, the sketches of all the people waiting for me back home. Then, I began to draw a new one. This time, however, I decided to draw someone new. I put my pencil down on the paper, and began to sketch Alfonse and Sharena.

[dogtagwindchimes]

Okay so I just heard about hvz and it sounds EPIC! I really wanna do it! I saw u had your plan of operation so any tips for newcomers?

1)The Asshole rule, if something you think of would be a dick move or even slightly dangerous DONT DO IT. this is a game, you can take it seriously but be respectful to other players. this is rule #1. keep in mind you are a representative of the game to your college so dont break the rules!! the mods word is law so if youre going to make any modifications to your blaster GET THEM CLEARED WITH THE MODS!!!!!

2) KNOW YOUR WEAPONS. Nerf gun selection is important if you want to survive, especially till late game. you can technichally survive til late game with a 1-3 shot derringer by turtling but you will not survive survive the boss with it. during the final fray you could be facing a veritable horde of zombies depending on how good the zombies are that year. you will not survive if you dont have a decent gun or at least a bag full of sock grenades, nor will you survive a trip to get a better gun. When it comes to HVZ its nerf or nothing, off brand guns will jam, and sometimes they wont even accept the same type of darts. make sure to select your weapon based off RELIABILITY, MAGAZINE CAPACITY, RATE OF FIRE AND RELOAD SPEED. below is a short guide to the weapon types that will save your bacon if you even survive the first day.a. sock grenades: buy a cheap bulk pack of generic sock and add some duck tape and you have the HVZ version of a shuriken. if you put anything else in it you will be banned forever. extremely handy in a pinch if you dont freeze up when your gun jams. keep a few in your belt loops. if you have a bag with shoulder loops put them in those or in some easy to reach location. this will save your ass if your gun jams, so practice throwing them from those spots. if youre going to practice, always throw with your off hand! you main hand will be holding a jammed gun so even if you have a sling you want to get good at throwing with your other hand. ususally you will be in very close quarters as they will rush you when you gun jams so accuracy is important but not incredibly so. do it mainly for the muscle memory as you know what to do without hesitation. keep in mind nerfs darts will count aswell but are not as easy to throw.b. the trusty revolver: will never jam unless you have somehow used all of your karma. cons: small magazine and long reload time. try and get a hammer action instead of a slide action if you are getting a one as you can use it if you dont have sling for your rifle in a pinch.c. mag fed nerf guns: you can lay down incredible fire power until your gun inevitably jams. doubly so for both if you have an automatic. keep you batteries fresh and only use stiff darts to cut down on the chance of a jam happening. they are also the slowest to fire as the fly wheels have to spin up. also the flywheels make noise that will give away your positon, so be careful of door dives. also keep in mind your ammo use as its to easy to just spray and pray so make sure to bring spare magazines if you can get them. smaller clips tend to jam less but leaves you having to reload more often. always pack a mag a few darts under capacity to prevent stovepipes happening. d. roto-rifles: god tier, very reliable and with a decent magazine capacity at the cost of incredibly long reloads. decent rate of fire depending on how dextrous you aree. mega darts are awesome: these huge darts are very accurate but their size reduces magazine capacity. the roto-fury is probably my favorite gun due to its accuracy and modest magazine capacity and it being a roto-rifle. keep in mind, as awesome as megadarts are you have less rounds and mega darts are not as common so you cant scrounge for ammo if you run lowf. exotic weapons are usually unreliable:keep away from enormous bullet hoses like the rhino or vulcan, they take forever to reload if you dont carry spare belts/mags and their complexity makes them jam easily. the flip guns such as the flip fury with multiple 6 round drums are not incredibly reliable and it takes practice to use them efficiently. they are fun though. keep in mind a fuck hueg gun will have to be hidden when youre indoorsg. the scatter gun: marshmellow blaster work like a shotgun and are very funonly downside is if a zombie catches one in their mouth you become stunned, and its difficult to store extra tubes h. buy some spare ammo no matter what. you will thank yourself later.

3) STOCK UP ON YOUR FAVOURITE FOODS AND KNOW YOUR SAFE ZONESthe dining halls are safe, but the surrounding area is not. expect a fight if you go there, even if its the first daytowards the late game one of the priviliges zombies get is eating at the cafeterias without having anything to lose. the second you leave the cafeteria you will get mobbed by zombies who were eating lunch when you walked in and are ready to get you once youve had your final meal. be prepared to spend time in your safe room waiting out the apocalypse. if possible cook and eat in your dorm and avoid the hassle.

4) get yourself a good squad. doing it solo is hell, but atleast if your squad gets turned you dont have to face your friends who all decide to door dive you or besiege you. if theyre good friends expect them to want to go after you and your squad specifically. 

5) know your routes and peak times when everyone is out. avoidance is the best policy if you want to survive. keep in mind zombies will often call other zombies to where you are and so you want to keep to odd routes and times. sometimes you may have to wake up early to catch a caravan or to avoid prime zombie hours. dont be afraid to stay in academic buildings as they are safe zones so you want to avoid the after class battle back to the dorms/parking lot. keep in mind this is still dangerous solo, but if your gun isnt great you may need to do this sometimes.

6) change your plan if it gets leaked to someone outside the squad or if a squad member gets turned. knowing where you are or where youre going to be is half the battle for zombies.

7) SOCK YOUR ALLIES. you dont know who Patient Zero so and theyre disguised as a human until theyre ousted hence why you throw a sock grenade or shoot every single human you meet. the carrier could be anyone, even one of your squaddies. have a 13-14 minute timer going and re-stun everyone. if you set a 15 minute timer you might get tagged as youre trying to stun them.

8) CONSTANT VIGILANCE, keep you eyes open for bandanas at ALL TIMES. if the bandana is worn in a questionable way or blends in with the clothes you can dispute the tag! also dont give up your humanity if you think a tag was illegal! if you have doubts call a mod, the second you give up your code the mods cant do shit for you! beware players who will try and blend into crowds! ive heard stories of humans walking to class unarmed due to an ankle bandana and keeping cool, and zombies that will spring out of crowds to get you. if you are off campus THE GAME IS NOT ON PAUSE make sure to atleast have some sock grenades. there is a famous story from goucher about a player who went to a baseball game and his friends tagged him AT THE GAME. you can also be tagged through open windows so be careful. 

9) be prepared for exercise! you are going to be running ALOT so NO JEANS! make sure your shoes are comfy to run in and if you bring a thermal make sure it is thin and VERY breathable! will keep you warm when youre not fighting/running and will the airflow when youre running will keep you from overheating. I highly recommend a thin fleece and shorts depending on the weather that week. if possible do some cardio training and quit smoking tobbacco/weed. one of my friends got tagged the first day while having a smoke. if you have a vape/patches/lozenges you will be far less likely to get tagged and will have a better lung capacity once the game starts.

10) Dont be afraid to improvise! make sure you have some spare supplies to fix your guns but more importantly you may want to make modifications/gear out of duct tape or whatever else. a short length of rope makes an excellent rifle sling because carrying a fuckhueg rifle gets tiresome. duct tape can be fashioned into a shoulder holster for your sidearm, avoid leg holsters due to the probability of your gun falling out when youre fleeing zombies. tape your socks up or you wont be able to throw them effectively. if you have multiple magazines you can duck tape them into double mags for convenience, if youre feeling really fancy you can build a speed loader for your revolver. such gear is handy for everyday use and in a pinch. 

11) BEWARE THE DOOR DIVE, if your roomates are playing you may want to arrange your furniture to deter door dives. one of my friends created a ring of desks and dressers around the door in order to safely shoot zombies. you are not safe within 10 feet of a door so be careful. 12) be lowkey at all costs, if you end up a high priority target you WILL be besieged and get turned. especially if you have good friends.

13) go to your missions!! they are fun and will effect the outcome of the game. however if you think a mod is making a poor call dont be afraid to go home if you think you might get hurt / turned

14) numbers mean safety and success, for humans AND zombies. Travel in caravans for better protection or hordes for a better chance of tagging someone. Stealth is always an option too but is very dangerous. dont be afraid to be patient and try and wait it out somewhere safe if its peak hours.

experience: 3 semesters of HVZ at goucher colllege, HVZs birthplace. I have played with and against the 6th ranked zombie in the world, Morgan Richter. I have also survived a grand total of 259 hours as a human. im super excited for you as HVZ is HELLAremember to be on your toes and most importantly HAVE FUN (and b urself lmao)i hope these tips help you survive and GOOD LUCK