#its the weirdest thing and it makes me so emotional for countries ill probably never live in again

[itgetstight]

that weird thing when in a certain light a building looks like a different country you used to live in or when a certain smell reminds you of somewhere thousands of kilometers away….yeah

[s3venpounds]

1-98

thank you my dewd for giving me something to do! ngl was going kinda insane and i’ll take anything over doing chores tbh also sorry if this is hella late

weird asks that say a lot

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

coffee mugs usually because they hold more liquid and i use them for everything lol tea, coffee, alcohol, soda

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

lollipops, i like having something in my mouth for long amounts of time(and yes pun intended)

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

cotton candy oh my god. I have such a sweet tooth its ridiculous. I once bought 7 large bags of cotton candy from K days and ate them for the next 2 months even when they got hard and probably nasty lmao i just love that shit. even cotton candy flavoured stuff ( except vodka. thats a trap. )

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

shy, reserved, well behaved basically i was a wimpy little shit

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

I like them in glass cups so i can clean it afterwards and use it again later, waste makes me feel guilty

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

if its applied to me? pastel. I love brighter colors after i stopped wearing blacks greys and whites. they feel so good and look so nice. on someone im interested in? sportswear, formal, grunge, goth, pastel, tomboy. in no particular order. if its sportswear stuff that really highlights muscles and how toned they are just MMMMMMMM. formal is fuckkkkkkking attractive. like if the white collar shirt is unbuttoned halfway and the blazer is rolled up? or no blazer but with suspenders and the sleeves rolled up? OMG i will literally lick their collarbones idgaf

7. earbuds or headphones?

headphones, mostly because its just healthier for your ears, as much as i like earphones and use them more often i just prefer headphones cuz people usually dont bother me, i do dislike the hat hair though and how bulky they are

8. movies or tv shows?

im kind of a weeb so i much prefer tv shows with regular releases so im not waiting 6 years or something for avengers lol i need my fixxxxxxxxxxx

9. favorite smell in the summer?

after rain smell or during rain smell idk. carnival food? the ocean? just water scents i guess

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

dance or volleyball both of which im still doing to this day very happily c:

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

cereal, maybe some nutella, whatevers left over if someone cooked the night prior or just basic bacon eggs and rice. fried rice if im feeling lucky

12. name of your favorite playlist?

Emotions empty. YEET

13. lanyard or key ring?

lanyard. I’ve had the same spidergwen/ghost spider lanyard since like 2015 and i refuse to use another lol. it feels so cool to yank on the lanyard and swing it around

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

rock candy. hands down. that shit makes me nutty. like if i was an earth bender or some shit i’d make a giant club made of the stuff and smack people with it and lick it afterwards

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

the outsiders probably i mean its not like crazy favourite but like its the one i enjoyed the most out of the ones i was forced to read (i really hate being forced to do shit)

16. most comfortable position to sit in? criss cross as im doing right now lmao or sitting on one of my legs

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? ah shit I just threw them out cuz they were old af but i had these nike high tops with the little puffy thing that inflates the sides of the shoes to make it more comfortable and it was so good in the winter and summer. it like breathed enough to let my feet stay nice and cool but it also stayed warm and never let snow get in my shoes cuz they were so high they acted like boots. i wore those for like my entire highschool experience

18. ideal weather?

raining. or breezy day. wind makes me sleepy and rain makes me excited to jump around in puddles and run as if my lifes calling is pulling me towards it

19. sleeping position? 

I always sleep on my stomach. its my most comfortable position and i knock out so easily if i do. apparently its a family thing too lol my siblings all outgrew it but w.e

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? 

on a laptop or in my journal. the tapping of laptop keys makes me feel productive while writing in my journal makes me feel like itll be saved for the rest of my life

21. obsession from childhood?

psychology and the inner workings of the mind. why something thinks lowly of themselves, why someone thinks highly of themselves, how they came to this decision, why they thought to refuse this and that its really interesting to me to see peoples reasoning

22. role model?

not even a physical person but ALL MIGHT from my hero academia or boku no hero academia. yknow that phrase ? “ what would jesus do?” yeah its “what would all might do?” for me luuuuuuuuuuuuul

23. strange habits?

i dont really know any strange habits myself but im sure my friend justin knows a few

24. favorite crystal?

crystal???? uhhh i dont know much about this but i guess i would go with emerald? since its my birth stone?

25. first song you remember hearing?

a barney song. i shit you not.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

I dont really like the heat all that much. summer is just suffering to me tbh lol like what do you do when youve taken off all ur clothes, ur AC is dead and your room is the highest room in the house where all the heat gathers? nothing. you do nothing. you cry and almost get heat stroke.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

I loooooooooooove snowboarding im not good at it though but god damn its fun. specially with friends and learning together it makes me so happy seeing people grow c:

28. five songs to describe you?

fix you cold play(currently listening to this), im still here (treasure planet soundtrack) by john reznik, Good things fall apart Jon bellion, lost stars Adam levine, After Dark Asian Kung Fu Generation. is what i can say so far? i’ve got tons of songs i relate to those are the ones that just popped into mind

29. best way to bond with you?

be physical. touch me, graze me, be comfortable with me and hold up a conversation. As much as i like talking I LOVE hearing about the people im interacting with. hobbies, dreams, goals, nightmares everything. other than that? just spend time with me. any time is fine. i do prefer really deep conversations at like 3 am lol

30. places that you find sacred?

sacred to me? St. Clements park and not much else. a looooooooooot of shit has happened there. my first kiss, my worst break up, my best make up/make out, my best date. 

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

I got these leather boots that do a clack sound on pavement and i feel powerful as fuck. I got this really high quality black formal shirt from le chateau that breathes really well and highlights my figure. I have these black jeans with zippers above and below the kneecap that make me feel dope. so yeah full black lol. theres also this grey sweater i have that flows in the wing like a cape and i feel like a superhero when wind blows it behind me

32. top five favorite vines?

ok ok theres this one i cannot find again for the life of me but its like this asian guy sittin in a stall taking a dump and it cuts to an ice cream dispenser then some dude knocks on the door and the asian guy gasps and it cuts to the ice cream dispenser but goes backwards so the poop is like going back in and the asian guy goes like “ unnnnnnnnhhhhhhhhhhhhh” and shudders and i like fucking collapse a lung everytime i think about it. some of king vaders anime parodies are fucking hilarious, the dude who made that vine where “ if johnny has 23 dish soaps” and he goes “ wait why does johnny have 23 dish soaps” and he goes “ mind your business david” while playing with dishsoap lmao. OH OH and that one where the kid puts random shit on his head to signify its his mom like where he goes “ I like ya accent where ya from?” “ im from liberia” “ *in a whisper* oh my bad I like ya accent where ya from” yeah this is longer than i thought i’ll stop it here i still got like 60 questions left

33. most used phrase in your phone?

“lmao” i’ve now used to as a similar term to lol. sometimes i say it in irl like “ le mao” and i internally cringe everytime

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

pizza 73, sleep country canada “why buy a mattress any where elseee” and some spotify ads cuz theyre fucking everywhere

35. average time you fall asleep?

midnight or 10 at the earliest

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

god... uhhh.. one of those rage comics those old ass black n white memes

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

duffel bag, i am NOT organized enough for a suitcase plus duffels i can carry across my chest like a backpack

38. lemonade or tea?

oof. lemonade from k days was really gooooooood. but tea is something im always comfortable with.. ill go with tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? cake defnitely. cake tastes more mellow while meringue is like a burst of flavour right away

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

a dude OD’d during school hours or that time a dude had a seisure in class

41. last person you texted?

clarence

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

jacket pockets if i wanna look badass, pants pockets if im just being a panda

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

oooof. uhh leather or bomber. leather because i love biker aesthetic too and bomber just looks comfy

44. favorite scent for soap?

i dont particularly have one but i do like old spice or irish spring

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

SUPERHERO. HANDS DOWN. fantasy second and sci fi 3rd.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

.... naked. only on days i cannot sleep at all

47. favorite type of cheese?

uhh fuck dude uhm.. toss up between cream cheese or parmesan

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

durian. I hate durian. its spiky on the outside, smells like burnt asshole but taste is redeeming

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people don't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

inside jokes with justin. just hanging out with the dude I had the best gut wrenching laughs of my life. laughs where my jaw hurt from laughing, i lost feeling in my cheeks, my face was red and couldnt stop crying. those laughs.

51. current stresses?

job security, love life, and friends who are currently getting more and more busy and cant hang out as often

52. favorite font?

IDK? Helvetica?

53. what is the current state of your hands?

dry and typing.

54. what did you learn from your first job?

People are stupid as fuck. and coworkers are dangerous thanks alex for throwing a kitchen knife at me

55. favorite fairy tale?

idk if it counts since disney always makes fairytales but treasure planet?

56. favorite tradition? 

probably christmas because i think its super important who you choose to spend it with and who you DO spend it with is a sign of how much they mean to you

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

dads abuse, my biggest break up, my friends attempted suicide

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

yknow the devil sign you make by closing your hand in a fist except your pinky and pointer finger? i can make my pointer and pinky touch. I also have been told my volleyball spikes have been really good recently. uhh my dancing I guess? singing?

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

EVERYTHINGS FINE WHY? BECAUSE I AM HERE!

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

My hero academia. hands down.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

You got the makings of greatness in you, but you gotta take the helm and chart your own course! Stick to it, no matter the squalls! And when the time comes, you'll get the chance to really test the cut of your sails and show what you're made of! And... well, I hope I'm there, catching some of the light coming off you that day. TREASURE FUCKING PLANET BOIIIIIIIIIIS

62. seven characters you relate to?

jim hawkins, hikigaya hachiman, shoya ishida, natsuki subaru, Hinata Shoyo, Hiccup, roxas.

63. five songs that would play in your club?

oh god. uhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. learn to fly foo fighters? castle on the hill ed sheeran? man idk im not huge on clubs, just shit from like 2000′s rock bands that white person knows the lyrics to and probably screamed in their room when they were mad

64. favorite website from your childhood?

YTV when they first released those side kick things thos games were so cool except that one day where the sidekick turned into a monster i legit got scared lol

65. any permanent scars?

tons actually and i love em! they remind me that things happened and that i wont ever forget them. currently tryna get a scar for volleyball HEHEHE

66. favorite flower(s)?

i dont know much about flowers but roses and lavender is nice. and that flower in philippines where if you touch it, it like curls into itself. 

67. good luck charms?

the keychains people i’ve fallen for have given to me. like this one bullet bill keychain AB gave me when we first met in highschool. i still have it. its faded and chipped in places but i feel like it makes me feel stronger yknow?

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

birthday cake vodka. hands down. and i’ve literally tasted my own puss from an infected wound on accident

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

in philippines flies are always swarming around peoples food so what i learned was to rip up the napkin to look like that thing people used to dust the house and it keeps them away if you swing it at them

70. left or right handed?

right handed c:

71. least favorite pattern?

pattern? uhh anything disorienting i guess

72. worst subject?

math. 100% math. 

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

meatball marinara sub with like every sauce from subway

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

8. i think i have a high pain tolerance

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

i dont remember.. maybe like 6?

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

MASHED POTATOES.FRJISD

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

not a big fan of plants....

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

sushi from a grocery store. just cuz im not willing to pay 30 bucks for somewhat fresh stuff from a retaurant

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? school id funny enough

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

...what? i guess jewel tones?

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

FIREFLIES OWL CITYYYYYYYYY

82. pc or console?

console. i have a better understanding of how console plays vs computer. computer is too finicky for me and aiming is a lot harder. console i know how people on console move and how i move and how to aim. 

83. writing or drawing?

writing. if i knew how to draw though thatd be a different answer

84. podcasts or talk radio?

talk radio cuz i like to phone in and talk about my experiences lol i got to be on one actually it was dope

84. barbie or polly pocket?

uhhhhhh barbie?

85. fairy tales or mythology?

mythology!

86. cookies or cupcakes?

cupcakes

87. your greatest fear?

death. or atleast what happens afterwards

88. your greatest wish?

to be a hero. 

89. who would you put before everyone else?

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Z

90. luckiest mistake?

one time in gym class we were playing dodgeball and i slipped trying to run backwards and a dude threw a ball at me but i kicked it in a way it went straight up and i had enough time to catch it

91. boxes or bags?

boxes, much better leverage and storing is like a game of tetris!

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

lamps or overheads. sunlight has glare on my stuff and its hard to play and fairylights arent enough 

93. nicknames?

tin man, AG, metal man, poetry man, silverado, silver city, quick silver anything with silver really.

94. favorite season?

fall and winter. winter being the best

95. favorite app on your phone?

Epic seven

96. desktop background? its a picture of hinata shoyo from HAIKYUU!! doing a spike with wings on his back!

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

only 1. thats my own lmao

98. favorite historical era?

uhhhhhh shit idk. they all seemed pretty shitty tbh..........

[wellmeaningshutin]

Short Story #97: Nature as an Abusive Mother.

Written: 4/13/2017                                                                Interwoven Week

When Patrice saw all of the reports about deer killing people in the woods, going absolutely berserk and cutting them open, spilling their guts all over the forest floor, she decided that she was right, nature was evil. It was a suspicion she had back when she was a child, and got lost in the woods. When she was trying to find her way through the cold, dark, nightmarish scenery, she felt as if it wasn’t a part of our world, the real world, and instead belonged to some awful creature of pure evil. Sure, later people told her that the idea was foolish, and she later believed them, but it stayed in the back of her mine, festering, refusing to leave. In her adolescence she would go, with friends, so see horror movies in the theater, having to buy tickets for some PG-13 movie they didn’t care about, just to get inside of the theater, where they would go and see the rated R gore fest that they wanted to see in the first place. A friend of hers once refused to do this, calling it either “illegal” or “immoral”, Patrice couldn’t remember, and she never understood why it was such a problem for that kid, why the problem wasn’t watching people get murdered and dismembered, it was breaking the rules to do so. Sometimes those movies would take place in the woods, in some deserted cabin or campground, one time it was a river full of hicks, and her childhood idea started to nag at her, she started to wonder if there was a reason that so many of these movies would take place in the woods, there had to be a reason, she just tried not to believe that the reason was her own. Then, only a couple months back, there was the incident where police found a large amount of bodies buried in the same area in the woods, left over from some serial killer, there was the three girls who had been found shot to death in a makeshift cabin, and she remembered that, when they finally caught that fucked up taxidermist, it turned out that animals practically loved him, he was basically one with nature, in Patrice’s opinion, and if that wasn’t a sign, she didn’t know what was. And lets not forget some of nature’s fucked up creations, like blood sucking butterflies, or spiders, any spider really. No matter how often she tried to tell herself that her theory only existed because of her childhood’s imagination, it seemed like the world was ready to prove her theory right.

After having to come to terms with this realization, after a lifetime of denial, she tried to figure out how she was supposed to escape from nature, especially since the forest was only seven and a half miles away from her house, but she eventually decided that it would just be best to get a bus ticket to the big city and never look back. When she would arrive, she figured that she could probably go into the heart of the city, where everything is man made and safe, and if she couldn’t afford a house there she could live in abandoned factories, subway tunnels, places where evil could never reach her.

The night before she left, when she lied on her couch, stared at the television, and tried to will herself to sleep, Eraserhead had played on the channel that she was watching, and when she saw that movie, for the first time, she knew that was where she wanted to go. It was as if the setting of the movie had been displaying all of her hopes and dreams.

Patrice didn’t really know what to do with her house when she left it, so she just locked the door and left, hoping that it was the proper etiquette. She only brought two suitcases with her on her journey, and also wore more layers of clothing than she needed, since there wasn’t much room, which led her to wait at the bus station with a thick, magenta sweater underneath a yellow raincoat. It made her feel as if she were a child running away from her parents, but she assumed that it was true, since nature had been the parent of humanity, but had also turned out to be an abusive and malicious one, the kind of parent that would electrocute their children when they wet the bed, or would lower their children into boiling water as a punishment. Those were her own comparisons, but never once did she realize that people also had the potential to be incredibly fucked up, nature had become the scapegoat for all of societies ills. While she mulled this over, an older man had sat down next to her, and said, “Its good that you are doing your environmental duty by taking a bus, instead of greedily using your own car, which would burn up large amounts of gas, pollute the air, only to get yourself somewhere. There’s not-”

“What?” She asked, not having heard him at first, while she vaguely remembered a man who killed a family and had some obsession with leaves. Could the leaves have made him do it?

“I was commending you on the way you are helping the environment. Its a tough time nowadays for the poor girl, now that all of her protections are being gutted, and-”

“Look, who ever you are, I don’t fucking want to help the environment.” Her tone was much more hostile than the man expected, and he worried that it seemed as if he was trying to hit on her.

Trying to apologize, “I’m sorry if I offended you in some way, I didn’t mean-”

“You can’t say you didn’t mean it.” Crossing her arms, staring him down, “You can’t walk up to me and start going on and on about how great nature is, how we should fucking go out of our way to please the environment, and not mean it. You sack of human garbage. What is so fucked up in your head that makes you want to help the environment, to help nature?”

“What? I don’t, I-” he couldn’t tell if she was serious, or just fucking with him.

“I’m only at this bus station because I’m trying to get as far away from nature as I possibly can. Have you seen the shit that nature causes, have you ever been in a forest at night? That shit isn’t right.” Looking at the other people who were waiting, the man tried to make eye contact with somebody, to try to nonverbally check if he was hearing all of this right, but the people around him were experts at ignoring strangers. “You’re some sort of environmental activist or something, right?”

Finally a question that he could answer, “Yeah, I-”

“Well that’s just fucked up. If anything, you should be an anti-environmental activist. You should go around telling people to cut down all of the forests, to put oil pipelines where they can easily destroy water supplies, to build cities everywhere, to cover the Earth in concrete and metal, so that there is no longer a trace of nature. You should be telling people to pollute as much as we can, especially in the air so that we can eventually block out the sun, fill the world with harmful substances and live day to day in gas masks, in protective suits,” she was starting to make things up, mainly just because she wanted to watch this scummy hippy squirm in his seat, trying to have somebody agree with his shitty views, “and while we live that way, all of the animals and the plants will fucking die.” She started to realize that plants were alive, and that just made forests even worse in her opinion. “So the only thing that’s left is people, and the industrial wastelands and forests we will have created. Only then can-”

Finally, the guy had walked away from her, and she felt pleased with herself. When she was in college, she had a similar routine that she gave to anybody who would gripe about feminism, and the routine would include her talking about how there is enough stored semen to live forever without men, how all male babies should be thrown into the rumors, or eaten by women, and how only the really special babies would grow up to become house pets for the powerful female overlords. Sometimes guys were able to find out that she was just fucking with them, sometimes they walked away bewildered. She preferred the latter reaction.

The bus ride to the city took her through a lot of natural landscapes that she would have once considered beautiful, but now considered to be threatening. However, she knew that it wouldn’t be long until she could flee into the heart of the city where people lived in buildings that were tall enough to reach the clouds, where- “There’s nothing like watching the sunset over the river like that, is there?” Asked the girl sitting next to her, who seemed to look like an actual runaway.

“I don’t care much for rivers,” trying not to step on the girl’s emotional toes, since she felt that there was something young and weak about her, “I’m not much of a nature person.”

Gasping, then, “You don’t like nature? That’s one of the weirdest things I’ve ever heard! So, like, mountains don’t do anything for you? You don’t like deer, or sunsets, or rainbows?” Patrice shook her head. “What about, okay. Close your eyes and imagine what I tell you. So, like, a couple years back I was out in Hawaii on a vacation with my family, and we were on the ocean. The water was crystal clear, and it shined when the sun hit it just right, turning it into a beautiful color that looked like, uh, orange and pink were making out. You know what I’m trying to say?” Patrice didn’t, but she nodded anyways. “And, like, as it looked perfect like that, dolphins began to leap out of the water, all around our boat, and it was magical. Did you picture that, wasn’t it magical?”

“I’m sorry, but that sounded awful. The ocean just creeps me out.” Octopuses, angler fish, eels, the fact that it was so deep that the pressure alone would kill you before you could even reach the bottom, and at that point its also pitch black, preventing you from seeing a thing, but you know that terrible creatures are all around you. And lets not forget the mountain ranges that only exist under water, giving the thing a foreboding quality, showing that the water could just as easily rise up and consume entire countries if it wanted to. On top of all of that, what about all of the murder victims that are dumped out of sea, the boats that live in unprotected waters, with intentions that are never good, giant waves that could sink boats without a second thought, whirlpools, tsunamis that could kill a lot of people and damage cities, hurricanes, it was all terrible.

“How could the ocean creep you out? You’re so weird!” Patrice remembered that fucking sea spiders were a real thing. “So you don’t like nature at all? What about dogs?”

“Eh, I don’t really count dogs as nature. Humans kind of bred them into what they are, making them, like, just unnatural wolves.”

“Yeah, but aren’t humans a part of nature? So if you think about it-” but Patrice didn’t want to think about it, and she definitely didn’t want to think about what the girl had to say. All she wanted to do was to lie there and think about sewers, subways, taxis, alleyways, skyscrapers, factories, everything that would shelter her from nature. So, while the girl continued to talk, Patrice pretended to go to sleep, even if it seemed rude. However, this caused her to actually fall asleep.

She didn’t dream, so it was a little confusing when she suddenly woke up to screaming and some pain on her side. As she tried to take in her surroundings, she was able to notice that it was dark, that she was pressed against the window of the bus, meaning that it may have been on its side. Looking around for the girl who sat next to her, she noticed that some people were trying to get up, and some looked like they couldn’t. She wanted to ask what had happened, and when she turned to someone next to her, she almost got the words out before a window pane had cracked in, and water began to pour into the bus, at a very alarming pace. Looking at the window she rested on, she could only see darkness and bubbles rushing up at the window. If it was the river they fell into, then wouldn’t they have stopped moving eventually? Why hadn’t they hit the bottom yet? Another window broke in, she heard some people screaming, and she again looked for her sitting companion.

After realizing that this was probably happening because of nature, because of its inescapable evil, she was finally able to act, but was dismayed to realize that she didn’t know how to act. For some reason, she felt that it would be best to run towards the bathroom at the back of the bus, mainly since she hoped the door could block water flow, and was at least secured in the knowledge that the back of the bus did not have a window. She wanted to call to the girl she talked to, but she didn’t know the girl’s name, and didn’t know why she was so important at the moment. When she tried to climb over a chair, she looked behind her for a second and saw another window break open, sending a large shard of glass down and cutting an old woman’s throat open, right before the force of the water knocked her to the ground. Even though Patrice couldn’t see the woman, she could see the blood that was pooling, and felt that she needed to get moving faster, just to get away from the blood. The seat in front of her had a mother and her children by it, and she was trying to comfort them, but their combined weight ended up, when Patrice jumped over them, causing the window to cave from the pressure, and they were ejected out into the dark water below, and water had begun to come in from a different angle, causing the bus to begin falling vertically.

For a moment, Patrice wondered why she could only hear her own heartbeat, why she hadn’t heard people scream, or rushing water, but the need to keep climbing before the bus became too steep caused her to ignore this question. Later, she would realize that all of that sound was happening around her, she just was tuning it out, her fear had taken over all of her senses. Down the aisle the activist had tumbled, the water guiding him on his way down, and he landed against the front windshield with enough force to send the bone right out of his knee. There wasn’t enough time for the climber to process this, she had to survive.

When she finally arrived at the top, Patrice had a good view of the rest of the bus, and noticed that a good amount of passengers had been dead, but she didn’t know how they had died. The others had either been pulled out into whatever body of water they were in (the facts that she didn’t know, and that they were still sinking, made Patrice want to throw up from stress), or were weak, incapacitated, or were trying keep a good position on their seats. Crying was heard from the bathroom stall, and it was the first sound that Patrice had heard outside of herself, and it also allowed her to start hearing the rushing water, the screams, the groans, and she missed the sound of her heartbeat. The bus had finally hit something solid, and when the front had reached the ground, or what Patrice hoped was the ground, it fell to its left and landed against something else, keeping it mainly vertical. She wondered how long the inside lights were going to stay on, and wondered what would happen when they shut off. She wondered what was going to happen when the bus was filled with water.

By the time the water had stopped rushing in, all of the windows had caved under pressure, and the inner lights had gone off, so Patrice couldn’t see what it had looked like below her. If she dangled her legs off the end of the seat she was on, her knees would reach the water, where she could feel glass, and some solid objects, which she didn’t want to know what they were, and hoped that it was just luggage. Eventually the person in the stall cried out, “Hello? Did we stop? Hello?! Is anyone alright? Hello?! Please, somebody! Hello!” It was the voice of her seating companion.

“It stopped, no more water is pouring out!” Patrice had yelled back.

“Is, anyone, is, who else is there?! Is anyone else with you?”

“No.”

“Is-”

“Where the hell are we? How did this happen?”

“I-I don’t know how it happened.” Patrice had a feeling that she knew what was behind it. “I think, I don’t know. I wasn’t, I couldn’t see anything when it had.. Are you sure there isn’t anyone else?”

“I’m sure.”

“Are you-”

“Look, you’re going to want to trust me on this. There is no chance that anyone else is in here, and if they are, they sure as hell aren’t, well-”

“Oh God!”

“I mean-”

“Oh fucking God!”

For a while, Patrice decided to try not to talk to the girl in the stall, who seemed to be crying hysterically, and it sounded that it was with the kind of emotion that causes you to shake, that causes you to want desperately for things to be better, while knowing that they never will be. It made Patrice wonder why she wasn’t crying. Later that night (during what she assumed was night, since it was always dark down there) she broke down and sobbed, when the other girl finally stopped, and she was so fearful of her current situation, in such a despair, that her crying fit caused the other girl to start up again, so they joined each other in the dark, through sound, unable to see the other, or even reach out to touch the other. Somehow, it was lonelier than crying alone.

Eventually, after they fell asleep and woke up, the girl in the stall decided that she was going to try to open the door so that she could join Patrice, but the door opened inward, which required her to pull it up, and Patrice had to listen to her struggle to get the door open, to try to angle herself against the walls of the bathroom, so that she wouldn’t have to stand on it when she lifted it, and if Patrice wasn’t terrified of whatever the water held, whatever horrors were waiting in the dark, she would have tried to swim out of the bus, to try to reach the surface of the body of water they were in, because it was almost physically painful, the way that she had to listen to the girl’s embarrassment and discomfort with the door. There were no other sounds except for the struggling, there was nothing to look at to distract herself, so it was as if she could only experience the young girl awkwardly struggling for freedom, cursing herself, and had to feel every uncomfortable and embarrassed emotion that the girl had felt. “God damn it!” Patrice eventually yelled, unable to stand the banging around. “Quit it with that door already!”

Silence was the only reply, and it hung in the air pocket around her, carrying the angry outburst and the girl’s hurt feelings with it. After a couple minutes of soaking in those feelings, Patrice broke down crying again, it seemed to be the only thing that she was able to do.

An hour later, long after Patrice had stopped crying, after silence hung in the air since both girls were too tense to try to talk to each other, the banging had started up all over again, and it only went on for five minutes, five minutes of trying hard to ignore it, until Patrice shouted, “I told you to fucking stop it with the door! If it isn’t already bad enough that we have to sit and stew in our own impending death, you have to make me feel-”

“I’m-”

“What god damn it? There’s no excuse for you to do that, I swear. Its pissing me the hell off, and-”

“I’m not fucking with the door!” But the noise still persisted, and both of the girls listened closely to it. However, the girl’s hearing ability was dampened since she had to listen through a door and walls, causing Patrice to be the only one who could identify a more subtle sound that accompanied the banging, one that reminded of something that made her want to scream, but also made her too afraid to scream out loud, causing her to have to bury her face into her knees, just to muffle the inevitable sound. However, it wasn’t a very good attempt at muffling, causing the girl in the stall to ask, “What the hell was that sound”, and the banging noise to stop. Patrice froze as she heard the banging stop, and patiently waited for another noise to tell her things were better, or at least that she was safe, and her companion kept asking, “What’s going on? What’s happening?”, over and over, causing Patrice to want to scream at her to shut up, to wait for it to go away, but she didn’t want any attention drawn to herself. “Are you okay?! What’s happened to you?! Are you Alright?! Are you there?!” The girl kept asking, starting to worry that her only companion may have dove into the water to escape, to try and leave her alone, a concept that was more frightening than anything else: being left alone in the dark, waiting slowly to starve or dehydrate for days on end, not knowing what time it was or if anyone would ever come for you.

So, naturally, the girl decided to try to get the door open, but did so with a clarity of mind that she could only obtain through a strict determination to not have to die alone, to get as much distance as she could from that awful thought. It was a very productive feeling of fear. When Patrice heard the door moving, the slight banging on the bathroom walls, she wasn’t sure if it was what she heard earlier, or if it was the girl in the bathroom, but she too afraid to ask, because if it was what she heard earlier, she didn’t want it to pay any attention to her. With only three tries, the girl had finally opened the bathroom door, and yelled, “Hello?! Hello?!”, before dropping below, hoping that water wouldn’t be too far away, and she was relieved, at first, to find that it wasn’t a bad drop, when she hit the water, but that relief didn’t last for long. Patrice had to sit in silence as she heard the girl, nearby, in the water, call out to see if Patrice was there, then screamed when she felt the body in the water next to her, which she thought was her companion, and then screamed something much much worse, the kind of a scream you would only hear in a nightmare, when she felt something latch onto her side, and she felt herself get pulled under the surface of the water, no matter how hard she struggled, and Patrice had to hear her haunting scream as it became submerged, and it didn’t stop until a minute later, and Patrice had to try as hard as she could to not cry, to stay silent.