#its the fact yall cant FUCKING TAKE SHIT SERIOUSLY for a second

[villainvillain]

still crazy to me that ppl come out of mouthwashing and think "yes im going to think about this game with typical shallow fandom mentality" so they think they can just babygirl-ify a rapist as if this is the fucking hazbin hotel fandom im going to shove your head in a very recently used toilet

[snekdood]

i wonder if i k****d myself if all the ppl who’ve ever lied about me, altering peoples perception of me and making them avoid me, start to breakdown and let out the fact that they were lying the whole time.

i wonder why only then they would allow me that relief, and how that doesn’t make them an awful person for not telling the truth while actively ruining someones life for no fucking reason other than the lolz.

[fluffy-lovely-clouds]

LONG POST

hate to be serious for a second guys but I'm seriously thinking about leaving the hazbin hotel fandom, and its because i just cant fucking stand vivsie

i haven't supported her in any way ever since i heard about her history which was a while ago, maybe around when she finished her first season of helluva boss. well i stopped watching that, and hadnt planned to watch hazbin when it finally came out until one of my friends encouraged me to. so i had pirated all of it, that way i wouldn't support vivsie in any way, and for a while ive been okay with it, until now.

its not just the fact that i dont wanna watch a show because its by her, its because of all the messed up shit thats in the show, and plus how the fandom is (NOT pointing any of you guys out, you're all great).

For one, it feels like vivienne has such a terrible grudge on Christianity. im not Christian myself, im more or less an agnostic, but i still respect Christianity extremely, along with every other religion and belief as people should. The fact that the whole basis of her story and the way she presents it is a warped telling of Christian places (heaven and hell) and figures (angles, demons, Lucifer) is kinda disrespectful. i get that there are tons of other movies and shows that fantasize christianity and stuff, but hazbin hotel feels like vivienne is just trying and WANTING to outright insult the religion. taking such a big figure such as lucifer and making him goofy as hell, or showing that heaven is full of nothing but assholes, with ADAM being the biggest fuck of them all, just feels too far to me personally.

don't get me wrong, the chance that there are demons in hell that can redeem and be good people and that not everyone in heaven is perfect makes for a great story in my opinion, but i think that plot could be written and presented so much better than what vivsie's done

secondly, there are too many characters in the show that make me so uncomfortable and disgusted, and what's bad is these characters seem really glamorized. im talking about valentino. HE IS A LITERAL ACTIVE SEXUAL ASSUALTER WHO CONSTANTLY ABUSES ANGEL. THAT IS NOT OKAY. THAT IS A HUGE RED FLAG. but guess what, hes still fucking glamorized. not just by vivsie herself but by the fandom as well. you would think something bad would happen to him personally in the show to pay for his actions, but the worst i can remember happening to him is getting bit by fucking niffty, and angel standing up to him, BUT THAT IS NOT HIS DEFEAT. HE IS CONTINUOUSLY SHOWED THROUGHOUT THE SHOW BEING WRITTEN OFF LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. His friendship with velvet and vox is seen as positive and even cute. i dont like vox much either because of the very fact that he makes out with valentino, and it makes me wonder if vivsie wrote vox off to know that valentino commits sexual abuse. if she did, then that means vox knows he's literally making out with a groomer and yet is okay with it. im gonna fucking explode

the fandom can be just terrible in the fact that people know all this but don't give a shit anyhow and draw/ write all the disgusting, shitty characters glamorized anyway cause they're messed up and think they're hot or whatever (VALENTINO). that's it. ive seen it in this community. there was a post about him where he teased y/n and it was meant to be seen positively. it got popular pretty fast. again, im gonna fucking explode. also, there's the deal with Alastor. IT IS CANON HE IS AROACE. But I have seen the fandom completely ignore that and sexualize him so much im starting to lose faith in humanity.

so yeah, i could keep going a bit but i think y'all get the point. i MIGHT not leave completely because i dont hate everything about the show, but by that i mean that husk and angel's relationship are like the only thing i care about. you MAY still see those two on here every once in a while, but that's it

so.. sorry guys, but i hope ive made yall understand

[rint4rous]

hogwarts au! oikawa

a/n: wrote this with a bad headache LMAO so if you see mistakes no you didnt <3

yeah help

anyway

oikawa toru

sixth year slytherin

captain of slytherin quidditch team

this one. very popular with the girls.

always gets gifts and confessed to, he turns them all down nicely tho

he flirts with them a little but never goes out with anyone

thanks but no thanks, hes focusing on quidditch

mostly hangs out with hanamaki, matsukawa, and iwaizumi

you, sixth year gryffindor

a chaser for the quidditch team

actually you and oikawa had a bit of a rivalry thing going on

because oikawa was getting good grades AND is good at quidditch

and it doesnt even look like hes trying.

and he lowkey comes off as arrogant sometimes

and youre like i hate geniuses

the two of you met during first year when he tried playfully hitting iwa in the hallway but iwa dodged

and you happen to be speedwalking past and then next thing you know you get slapped???

you stop walking and turn to oikawa

hes like HOLY CRAPDFHJSHJR

“I AM SO SORRY-”

“it’s alright!”

“are you sure??”

“yeah, it was an accident, right? …. unless it wasnt?”

“NO I SWEAR IT WAS AN ACCIDENT”

“i thought so! see you ‘round!”

then you skip away

yeah. yall dont really start competing and shit until you found out your mom and his mom had BEEF??? WHEN THEY WERE IN SCHOOL????

you found that out at the end of first year

“i heard tachibana’s son is in your year. or i guess she’s oikawa now.”

youre like yeah what about it

“my dearest y/n, you’re a smart little girl, okay?”

“so make sure you’re better than that oikawa kid, alright?”

and little innocent you is like “ok”

so start of second year, you study and work extra hard

but here’s perfect little oikawa who always knocks you down to second place

at first youre like. i’ll just work harder!

and he joins quidditch and so do you

so you try hard at that too

you’re not like a sore loser or anything so when slytherin wins you shake his hand with a smile

but by the end of the year you’re just kinda :/ now because you never see him studying or practicing spells so how the fuck is he BETTER THAN YOU AT EVERYTHING!!! ITS NOT FAIR!!!!!

third year you come into school with like not very good feelings abt oikawa

and your mom was on your ass about your grades and you’re like omfggg im TRYING OKAY IM TRYING SO HARD

too bad tho thats when he starts liking you …

middle of third year is when you start expressing those feelings for oikawa out loud

“i hate self-centered geniuses. come back down to earth, will you.”

he heard you say when test results came back

and hes like is she talking abt me? lol nah shes probably talking about stupid ushijima over there

and then he finds out you were in fact talking abt him

hes kinda hurt lol

then when the new term rolls in

and the two of you just start talking shit about each other and start arguing all the time

“what’s the answer, l/n?”

“fairy wings.”

“oh my bad, i didn’t realize she said oikawa, and not l/n.”

“oh sorry, i thought you wouldn’t know the answer so i answered for you! i saved you from embarrassing yourself. you’re welcome~”

your seatmate yaku was holding you down with all his might and HOW IS LITTLE MAN ABLE TO HOLD YOU BACK HIS GRIP IS STRONG BRO

the whole class s ighs here we go AGAIN

the teacher doesnt even bother sending you guys out to hall anymore because this happens so much

you always try to sabotage each other in potions

one time his eyebrows almost burned off after his potion exploded in his face

makki and mattsun like LMFAOWFEHERGUYER

then when the year ends you’re like ranting to your mom like “i hate geniuses. who does he think he is? just because he can beat me at everything?? i’ll show him. i’ll make him eat dirt in the field. i’ll wipe that dumb smirk off his face. i’ll-”

your mom: omg my little baby so full of hate just like her momma

fourth year you’re so determined to beat oikawa at something

he sees you in the library, unprovoked, once and he comes up from behind you like

“aw, is l/n gonna try beating me again this year? you know there’s no point in trying.”

you: hold it in hold it in hold it in YOU’RE MATURE NOW Y/N L/N. YOU SHOULD BE MORE MATURE THAN THIS DIMWIT IN FRONT OF YOU. inhale exhale inhale exhale

“aw, is oikawa gonna try beating ushiwaka in quidditch again this year? you know there’s no point in trying.”

way to be mature

poor oikawa tho you pressed a wrong button so he just leaves silently

you kinda regret it after

so this year goes like the last and so does the next

“arent you tired?? of competing with oikawa all the time??” your friend semi asked you

“kind of”

“then stop?? you dont have to fulfill your mom’s high school revenge lmao”

“ughh eita i know but im too far in”

one time you were out breaking curfew #savage

no but seriously you couldn’t sleep so you thought some fresh air will help, the dorms were super suffocating right now

you were stressed after your mom’s monthly letter

beat oikawa this beat oikawa that

you turn at a corner and you see the man himself, ALSO BREAKING CURFEW

now the both of you are looking at each other like 👁👄👁

“GOD L/N I THOUGHT YOU WERE A TEACHER I NEARLY DIED FROM A HEART ATTACK”

“shush before we both get caught”

“right sorry sorry”

“so what the hell are you doing breaking curfew.”

“what are you doing breaking curfew.”

“i asked you first”

“so?”

“just answer the question, oikawa.”

he looks around, making sure the coast was clear before he motions you over to him and as you walk towards him

you see the door hes standing in front of

he drags you in there and what you see is

a bunch of practice dummies

“yeah i,, practice my spells here at night. contrary to popular belief i’m not a genius like ushiwaka or tobio. i’m flattered you think so, though.”

and youre like he... actually practices?? he is actually human?

“what’s with that look? you wanna join me practice at night?”

“as if-” and then you see the book of spells and you guys aren’t even learning any of this YET. and you are determined not to fall behind oikawa “sure.”

oikawas like pardon?

you: i SAID SURE.

and so now at night you practice spells together

only because you want to beat him as if

the arguing goes down a little because you get caught up in beating each other at who gets to do the spell right first that practice runs super late sometimes and you dont have energy to fight with each other that early

everybodys like ??? huh????

but then you’re back to the usual bs in the afternoon and everybodys like oh okay so the world isnt ending yet

so anyway !! yall are practicing again

you’re pointing your wand at a practice dummy and trying to focus so you dont accidentally do something dumb

"hey why do you hate me so much?”

LITERALLY CATCHES YOU OFF GUARD AND BREAKS YOUR FOCUS

“it’s not because i hit you when we were first years right? it really was an accident i swear-”

“you still remember that?”

“well yeah… because i cant think of any other reason why you don’t like me.”

“um… trying too hard to please my mom, i guess. what about you? why did you try so hard to beat me at everything?” you ask, regaining your focus for the charm

“idk, you never paid attention to me unless i did.”

you scoff, “why? you don’t like me or anything, do you?”

“i do tho??”

he literally said that just before you chanted the spell and you got caught off guard and

“stupefy!”

it almost hits oikawa

oikawa: WHAT DID I DO

you: SHITHEAD DONT SAY THAT WHEN IM ABOUT TO DO SOMETHFIBEFH

“HOW DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN???”

“I DONT KNOW IT WAS FUN COMPETING WITH YOU WHEN WE WERE SECOND YEARS AND IT JUST DID?? I TRIED SO HARD SO I CAN IMPRESS YOU AND I GUESS MY PLAN BACKFIRED BECAUSE I DONT THINK YOU LIKE ME VERY MUCH”

now youre staring at each other and you’re both red

he kinda quiets down “and you’re a better rival than ushijima anyway. i don’t mean any of the stuff i said, i swear. i know you don’t like me but i just needed to let that out or i will go insane.”

and hes just looking down all shy

at this point you actually dont know if you like oikawa or not

i mean??? you spent like 3 years butting heads with this dude

and he liked you the whole time?? hes crazy this man is crazy.

maybe you were just in denial the whole time

because?? you could’ve stopped competing with him at everything

maybe you did enjoy it somehow

he did make your life at school interesting

“let’s go out on a few dates and we’ll see.”

his head just whips up and his eyes like light up and hes so EXCITED

in the time before you officially started dating

you find out from iwaizumi that even tho he smiles at a lot of girls its actually rarely genuine the only girl hes ever seen oikawa smile about genuinely was you

and that his mom actually didnt approve of him playing quidditch at first because he had a bad knee but he pushed for it because he really wanted to

he has like a smug and a flippant demeanor but hes very attentive and super caring !!

hes super passionate and hard working at what he does and

i guess now you finally realize you are falling

it takes five dates until the two of you officially start going out

if you tell third year you that you were dating oikawa she would never believe it but here you are, walking to class with him

when the two of you walked in the classroom talking

like TALKING NORMALLY AND NOT THE USUAL “i will choke you in your sleep” “ooh, kinda k-” “don’t”

it was already sus when the arguing toned down a bit but now that its like. REALLY GONE?? everybody is so confused

LMFAO matsukawa asks like “what happened?? are you guys broken?”

“no???”

“how rude! dearest y/n and i are dating now!”

everybody in this class: see now thats crazy. that is crazy.

makki: maybe we didnt hear him right. say that again oikawa

oikawa: me and y/n are dating.

everybody: oh okay bc we thought you said you and l/n were dat- WAIT SO YOU AND L/N REALLY ARE TOGETHER??? 

you: unfortunately

oikawa: h-hey :((((

everybody: SO WE DONT GOTTA LISTEN TO YALL ARGUE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING??? YOU HAVE TO TREAT THE WHOLE CLASS TO BUTTERBEER I THINK WE DESERVE IT AFTER THESE THREE YEARS OF CONSTANT YELLING

nobody was as SHOCKED as your moms

“y/n, baby, i know i did not just hear you say you’re dating the oikawa kid. repeat that for momma again.”

“i’m dating the oikawa kid.”

like?? MOM THIS WAS TECHNICALLY UR FAULT

“so toru, what did you wanna tell me?”

“i have a girlfriend now! her name is y/n l/n.”

“l/n? surely not THAT l/n’s daughter, right?”

“oh it is that l/n.”

when your families have dinner together for the first time

THE TENSION LMFAO

but they do try hard to get along. they try super hard.

they start getting along because MAN YOU AND OIKAWA WERE SOO CUTE AND THEY WANT YOU TO GET MARRIED AND THEY HAVE TO GET ALONG IF THEY WANT IT TO HAPPEN. THEIR GRANDKIDS ARE GONNA BE SO CUTE!!!

“ma, we haven’t graduated yet-”

your mom, ignoring you: THEYRE GOING TO HAVE THE CUTEST HAIR

oikawa’s mom: AND THEY’RE GOING TO BE SUPER SMART LIKE THEIR PARENTS!

your mom: AND WE’LL BE THE BEST GRANDMAS.

momma oiks: PERIOD!

steals your books from you in the halls so he can carry it for you

you tease each other with pet names and shit???

he’ll try to kiss your cheek in the hall but iwa grabs the back of his robe and pulls him away “you’re gross”

“you’re just jealous iwa!!”

when your houses arent playing each other, he goes to your games and vice versa!

tries to distract you in the field

“hey beautiful”

“toru don’t or i will make iwa knock you off your broom.”

“you're so mean”

so anyways yall r couple goals

"listen well, kindaichi, kunimi, your senior is showing you how to get girls.”

kunimi, without looking up from his book: what are you gonna teach us? accidentally slap the girl and get her to hate you for three years while you secretly pine over her during that time before confessing that you liked her the whole time and you go out on five dates and officially start dating? too much work

oikawa: LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT

[pythiaba]

teal deer b4nes a big old asshole on a high horse but their horse is thumbelina the dwarf mini pony cardboard edition and also they proved their point immediately, you guys are too used to people being polite and being able to threaten retaliation with magic. being deity adjacent does not protect your bank account from these hands.

this is long and hours after the fact but ive been biting my digital tongue and whatever! i wanna say it and i will, i am prepared to deal with the consequences of my actions

b4ne absolutely has a point in that using your name on the internet anytime anywhere is a terrible fucking idea. people can get so much off of your name, its stupid. not to mention that people are on here all the time playing ask games about what their favorite things are where theyve lived where theyd like to go, its basically any hackers wet dream for getting into your accounts and stealing your skin.

goin off of their posts, i feel like b4nes been in this field for a hot minute, theyre older than the “average age” of tumblr users (quotations because some of yall act like early 20s when youre 500+), and theyre dead sick and fucking tired of repeating themselves that putting your info online is a terrible idea. so they veer into mega bootyhole territory and within 10 minutes of talking to someone, doxx them to prove their point.

and firstly, you guys go “holy shit how did you do that”

then you all got supremely pissed off at them for doing it because you suddenly realized it was a genuine threat and anyone youve met up to this point has been kind enough to Not Do That.

hi. im capable of doing what b4ne did. the difference is that 1 i dont have any real reason to, 2 because what happened to b4ne would happen to me (you guys getting mad and threatening to show up in my house with magic), and 3 i dont go rubbing that ability in peoples faces. (i do warn people on my pinned with a vague statement about being a hacktivist.)

most you guys arent human. you are powerful! you have magic and godly abilities and teleportation and you go to the moon for fucking fun. even humans largely dont take cybersecurity very seriously, but why would you, you think, you can retaliate by casting thunderwave up the asshole of the next idiot to cross you!

...if you can find them. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 ive noticed most of you guys cant seem to be able to visit people without certain requirements being met. idk how you expect to actually do anything but block and report, and tbh they can just make a new account. its very easy

so i get that this doesnt exactly translate as a problem, especially for those of you that live in pocket dimensions and stuff. if you live in a lawless wasteland where you make the rules cuz youre the only person there, go ahead, do what you want, hell keep doing what you want, but im dead serious when i say that not everyone will come in microdick swinging like b4ne did and be polite enough to tell you they did it

bc they did not have to

they are a massive fucking asshole who clearly thinks theyre better than everyone because i sus they dont quite remember how to socialize properly but they have an extremely good point that they proved was a good point. continue to be mad at them for the former but for the love of jack frost understand the consequences of using your name everywhere are very real, s e r i o u s l y we are not required to tell you that we figured out your social in 10 minutes out of curiosity

now. to b4ne!

HI THESE PEOPLE ARE GENUINELY POWERFUL, IDK WHATS GOING ON IN YOUR END OF THE UNIVERSE BUT YOURE A FUCKIN IDIOT AND I CANT WAIT FOR  THE SECOND SOMEONE IS A GOD AND CAN HACK YOU BACK SO YOU GET SOME KARMA WHEN THEY YEET YOU

because itll be hilarious. promise to liveblog it pls

tho ideally if youre firing off all this bullshit you know the best plan is to use a computer and printer from the 90s and take them out back the second they get a whiff of the idea of bluetooth

what is it everyone says about serial killers after they get caught...? “they were so nice!” “so helpful, so kind!”

just because someones kind doesnt mean they wont do certain things is basically what she said.

also, you appear to refuse to engage with what you dont understand if you cant easily talk down to the other party and brush it off like the ramblings of a madman, which is telling of your ability to actually listen and learn, so i dont actually expect much from you reading this post on the offchance you do

‘everything being perfect’, aka the definition of utopia, does indeed straight up not require being nice. what would be a utopia for you likely wouldnt be a utopia for me. maybe my utopia is literal hell /j

utopias are impossible under free will, everyone jot that down (my brothers high school counselor especially). post was stupid and i recommend deleting it makes zero sense

flying in being a colossal asshole to people you just met does not a pleasant and attentive crowd make. you know what you coulda done to prove your point in a kind way without exactly repeating yourself with “dont use your name online”? 

“guys, seriously, i can find a lot. i can prove it, one of you volunteer and ill dm all your information to you. see, now that users wigged because i know that at 3:57pm they took their dog out to pee bc i looked through their ring camera recordings and told them their hair was a mess.”

instead you read like you came here to get an ego boost because nobody irl takes you or your job seriously, and boo fuckin hoo, me too buddy, i just bitch about it like a normal person instead of doxxing some poor bastard at the drop of a hat because i logged in in a pissy mood bc my boss took credit for my code again

you may have knowledge of cybersecurity but youve the attitude of a toddler and i dont know why you bothered making an account on this website. you can get your kicks elsewhere while doing actual good. (no, what you did isnt really good.) consider drinking water, touching grass, taking a deep breath, and playing some neopets. 

continue to be entertaining to patches lest she appear in the shadows of your house and giggle from the corners over the next 4 months while you become increasingly paranoid and withdrawn from the world because youre getting stalked and ghosted by all the people you drove away that coulda helped you

to all of you, this isnt some gotcha, i dont think im better than any of you, but this is extremely frustrating to have backread and im gonna need all of you to take a breath and eat a snickers. 👋

[baecvlt]

Better Late than Never

in which the reader was set up on a blind date by Sonia Nevermind with Kazuichi Soda

• Kazuichi Soda x Reader

• fluff

• fem reader

• original idea <33

BTW YALL this might sound accidentally self insert-ish but that’s because I gave the character interests (since this is a date fic) but I dont know anything else to put for them. anyway enjoy still.

“So, there’s no one there?”

I glared at her, death staring into her clear, blue eyes. “What the fuck is ‘there’?”. She sighed and lightly hit my arm. “I’m asking you if you have a crush, silly!,” she spat, yet her tone remained friendly. I shook my head. “I don’t find any of these people attractive, Sonia”.

“So you wouldn’t go out witj a classmate?”

“No, Sonia”

She stays silent, suddenly darting her eyes at Hajime. “How about him,” she asked,“Hagime seems like a nice guy”. I shrugged. “Not my cup of tea, really”. She then points at Teruteru,“And him?”. I looked at Teruteru, who was already gawking me. “God, no, Sonia,” I gagged,“Too perverted for my liking”. She then began listing names. Here is what I had to say for all of them.

Hajime: Boring

Nekomaru: LOUD

Fuyuhiko: Mean and short

Nagito: Psycho!

Eventually, she gave up. I didnt feel any way of them, who’s to know how I feel about anyone else at this school? “Fine,” she said, but her eyes lit up,“Oo! How about-”.

“Oof!”

He had bumped into me, knowing me to the floor. Kazuichi Soda: the Ultimate Mechanic. “Yeah, him!,” Sonia said. I looked at Kazuichi, disgust on my face. “Not in a million years”. “Huh?” (Kazuichi was madly confused). Sonia grumbled,“What’s wrong with him?”.

“What isn’t there wrong with him? He also doesn’t bathe!”

“Ouch, I bathe,” he said. “Why were you in such a rush anyway?,” I asked. He shrugged, but eventually sighed and revealed his reason. “I got excited,” he said softly. Sonia and I were confused.

“I just got updated on my— something. I’m going to the office to see what they have to tell me about this thing I’m in the middle of”

I was confused, but I had to know now. “Anyway, I’m sorry,” he said, walking right past us. I stood there, but Sonia got my attention. “Come on, we’re gonna be late to Economics”. She grabbed my arm and pulled me to class. When we got there, everybody was huddled up. There was something they were being discreet about. “Hello, friends,” Sonia said,“What are we talking about?”. “Kazuichi,” Ibuki said without the slightest hesitation.

Okay, maybe not that discreet.

“What’s wrong with him?,” I asked,“Besides all that, I mean”. “Cut him some slack,” Hajime said, now I knew the situation was a little more sensitive than I thought. Sonia and I both got our chair to listen. Hajime sighed,“This morning, I woke up and went to get Kazuichi for class. He wasn’t in his room. Later that day, I went go check on him and he was in his room, but when I opened the door, his eyes were just read and tired. I asked him is all was well, he only nodded and smiled. It took a while, but he still told me he was okay, now adding in the detail that the board had gotten back to him on his request to be transferred elsewhere”. My mouth dropped slightly. “Transferred where?,” I asked, Hajime only shrugged.

“This is all Sonia’s fault!”

We looked at Hioyoko, Sonia quick in defending herself. “He wouldn’t transfer schools because of me, it’s probably all your fault,” she was defensive,“Maybe if you weren’t so mean to him all the time—”. Suddenly, arguing broke out. I heard many things. Hajime said he hasn’t shown interest in her lately, Sonia seeming slightly offended. Gundham was blamed, Ibuki wasn’t being blamed (she was never cold with him). Suddenly, Mikan spoke out. “Wait!”. She yelled, so we were quiet. Surprised by her tone, it made us all shut up. “What if it’s all our faults?,” she suggested,“Y-You didn’t have to be cold to him. Who else besides Ibuki or Hajime spoke to him without immediately judging character?”. It made me think, but suddenly Fuyuhiko spoke. “Fuck that!,” he said,“The dude probably wasn’t enough to be here so they dropped him. He was also probably too embarrassed to say that. And the eyes? Please! They were red because he might be some type of pothead; high out of his mind!”. “That’s a really shitty thing to say,” Hiyoko said,“Even *I* know that’s harsh”.

“I don’t give a fuck; Its true”

Hajime shook his head,“I’m gonna agree with Mikan”. “Wait isn’t it like extremely hard to transfer from this school?”. “No, not quite,” Chiaki said,“When given valid reason, the board can transfer a student elsewhere”. “If in fact the mistreatment of Kazuichi was the reason he sought transfer,” Peko added,“He probably went with ‘mental health concerns’. Since we’re all of age, he wouldn’t need to run it by a parent or guardian, making it much easier for him to transfer”. There was silence. “So what now?,” I ask. Hajime had a quick answer,“We treat him better”. “Is it not too late?”. Peko shook her head.

“If Kazuichi really went to simply be spoken about the appeal, students are given three days to make their final decision. Afterwards, there is no going back since students are allowed an appeal once”

We all still sat there. Were some of us actually cold towards him? I mean, everyone else in the academy didn’t even acknowledge him (neither did some of us, but we were around more, right?). “Alright, studebts, to your seats now!”. The professor being there had us scurrying away from Hajime’s desk. Throughout the whole class, I couldn’t focus. I kept thinking of Kazuichi, but why? Why did I care about him leaving so much?

The bell rang, Sonia waited for me. Econimics was our last class every Thrusday. The minute I was within her reach, she continued the conversation from earlier today. “So, I was thinking: you can’t talk to boys for shit,” she said. “And?”.

“What if I set you up on a blind. date.— huh? How about that?”

I sneered. Blind dates—they were such a tacky idea to me, what the fuck, but this was Sonia. She always new what was best for me when it came to, well, everything. Plus, it might be fun, or funny?

“Oh, what the hell. I’ll give it a try”

Sonia smiled so hard, her eyes shut. She squealed. “I cant wait,” she said,“I promise, this’ll be good for you. Just you wait!”. She kissed me on the cheek, leaving me behind. “Wait— we aren’t going home together?,” I asked. She shook her head. “I have some things to take care of! See you tomorrow, love”. She hurries her way. That girl. I’ll never understand her…

“Hey, how’s it going? … Nice … Well, now that you ask, I was wondering if you were open to a blind date? … Splendid! Friday, agree to meet with this girl, here’s her number … Let’s make things more interesting … Don’t tell her your name … Yes, you do know her”

I got home, setting my book bag down and practically collapsing onto my mattress. What a day. Before I got in thought about all that I was told today, as if on cue, my phone rang. It was a message, one from a number I had never seen before.

???: Hi :)

I was friendly, I didn’t have to be.

Me: Hello :)

As if a second cue went off, Sonia texts me.

Sonia: Has your blind date messaged you? btw make up a name! dont reveal anything !

Me: OH okok

I return back to the unknown sender.

Me: sonia put you up to this ?

???: yes, ma’am (or sir, or i have no clue. sonia said you were a girl. sorry)

Me: hey dont worry, sonia said she was setting me up with a guy, so i assumed too. i am a girl and being called ma’am doesn’t bother me.

???: well you assumed correctly, but thank you for letting me know, ma’am i get unsure.

???: anyway, what’s ur name?

I thought of a good, normal name, but nothing occurred to me. I looked all around my room for an object. Suddenly, my eyes landed on the family camera I had left in my room whenI used it for a project.

Me: my name is cam, hbu

???: Zero

Me: Is that really your name?

Zero: no but it makes sense to me

Me: wdym?

Zero: itd just me i guess

Me: ur gonna make me sad booo

Zero: oops, sorry !

Me: lol Its fine. but seriously, I know there is someone who cares about you. if anything Is wrong. you can talk to me, even if our date friday goes to shit :)

Zero: Yeahyesh thanks for that, Cam. its just my friends, i dont feel seen by them and it just feels like my parents have followed me.

Me: Well, they probably really love you. if it helps, I care about you :))

Zero: you’re very kind

Me: aw noooo. anyway, how was your day?

Zero: it coulda been better. yours?

Me: yeaaaa same here

Zero: what’s wrong?

Me: found something out ab a friend of mine.

Zero: is everything okay?

Me: Yea it all should be if I can fix things with him

Zero: you must really care ab him

Me: yea i really do

“Zero” decided it’d be best to change the subject since he figured it was slightly depressive (which it was). From the time I got home (4am) to 12am, we talked. I was excited because for once in my life, I was speaking to someone who liked the things I did. The same movies, the same bands. He listened to a lot of new wave and indie rock. Eventually, I got sleepy, so we called it a night. He called me cute and let me go to bed.

I actually looked forward to our date Friday. I didn’t care who he was, for he was perfect.

Morning came around and I just wanted to talk to him. In fact that’s all I did. We texted in homeroom, Theater, Calculus, etc. It was Friday today, meaning we’d have to meet today after school, thus revealing ourselves. Sonia and I were in calculus and she noticed I wouldn’t put my phone down. “God, someone’s obsessed,” she teased. “He means everything to me,” I said, breaking no eye contact with my screen. Sonia went to Kazuichi, who I have class with for Calculus, Government and Chem (which we both failed last year). I couldn’t care to break my focus on my screen, but I did head him mutter “she’s perfect”. So Kazuichi found someone else? That’s fine, but will she care enough to stop him from transferring? Could be be transferring for her?!

As the day grew the situation began getting fucking dire.

I was headed to my final class, chemistry. I had my phone in hand, texting away and very distracted. Suddenly, just like yesterday: “Oof!”. I was on the floor and above me? Kazuichi Soda. “I’m sorry, oh my god,” he said as he helped me up. I shook my head. “Nono, this time it’s my fault,” I said, dusting myself off,“I wasn’t paying attention”. 

“I was also very distracted, heh”

I smiled, picking his phone up from the ground. His screen turned on, exposing that he had been listening to music. “Cocteau Twins”. I handed him his phone. “You like them,” I asked. He nodded,“Do you?”. 

“Yeah, I do”

“Cool... where are you headed?”

“Chem”

“Why so early? There’s a whole hour and a half till we have to be there, plus the 5 minute tardy bell”

“I like being early. Where were you going?”

“My room,” he said,“I can’t find my chemistry journal, so I figured I should look for it before class”. “In your room?”. He nodded. For some sick and weird reason, I felt bad leaving him to do that on his own. “I can help you,” I blurted, almost instantly. His face lit up. “Really?!”. His overly joyed expression brought a smile out in me as well. “Yeah,” I answered softly. He grabbed my hand and ran with me up to his room, having me keep up with him. We got to his room as my heels skid slightly behind him. When opened the door and turned on the light, my jaw dropped.

His room was a complete and utter mess.

“Kazu- how is anything gonna get found in here?,” I asked, trying to keep my tone as calm as possible. “Its manageable,” he answered, entering and starting to look through all his junk,“I haven’t had the energy to clean my room anyway. It hasn’t really bothered me”. I shook my head as I walked in. “No, this isn’t right,” I said, an idea coming to mind,“Why don’t you lay there and rest up a little? I’ll clean your room”. His eyes lit up. “Really?”. I nodded, a warm smile creeping up on my lips. “Well, okay,” he answered,“Thank you, sweetheart”. I couldn’t even react to the pet name. His hat rested over his eyes as he quite literally fell asleep before my very eyes. 

With that, I got to work.

Cleaning out his room, taught me a few things. He also happens to like the same films as I do, but he likes more action films. I also learned he has a much bigger wardrobe than I thought. Lastly, he isn’t as mess as I thought. He had everything one would need to clean, even owned a vacuum. It took me about 1 hour and 5 minutes to clean out. I hadn’t realized it was that long, time went by me like a breeze. I approached him and sat by him. In a pattern, I shook him carefully then played with his hot pink hair, which was softer than expected. 

God, there’s something wrong with me. 

He woke up and I removed the hat from over his eyes. He lay as he looked around, seeing his room uncluttered. “Wow, it’s like a brand new room,” he said happily. “Yep”. He sat up and smiled back at me. “Thank you,” he repeated. 

“It’s nothing, really”

His voice was still groggy, I could tell he was a little dazed after his nap. He lay back and laughed to himself as we sat on his bed. “What?”. He shook his head as the lazy smile on his face grew slightly wider. “You’re really pretty”. I blushed a little, and laughed nervously. “Thanks”. He sat back up again, we both had no idea what to do now, but look at each other. It was a comfortable silence. I could forever into his oddly colored eyes. 

I wanted him to kiss me, now.

I’ve truly lost my mind. I had no idea if it was just tension or anything but that. Would I like it or would I despise it. I decided to maybe test these waters, but before I could, he beat me to it. Out of nowhere, he grabbed my chin, pulling me to his lips. Kissing me skillfully, he lay back and I followed so I wouldn’t be away from him, leaving me straddling his lap. What a day to forget to wear shorts under my skirt. With how he kiss me and I kissed him, it was no secret we wanted this for a while now. The fact that I wanted this made my stomach knot. We pulled away, slightly winded. “That was so fucking hot”. I proceeded to tell him this never happened. He agreed it didn’t. Then he added:

“I’ve never done that before”

“Neither have I-”

Then, it hit me. Kazuichi was my first kiss.

“This must be a very shitty realization,” he said, laughing a little. “Shut up, let’s get to class”. He nodded, getting up from bed, seeing that his journal was on his now clean and visible desk. He picked it up and now we were ready to go. We were still early, despite distance and how crowded the halls were. We sat at our own table, usually we both sat alone since none of our friends had this class. We all knew each other, but we wouldn’t exactly call certain people friends. Anyway, during class, I was extremely bothered. I felt sick and I couldn’t stop thinking about that fucking kiss.

At all.

I really didn’t want him to leave. I couldn’t stand the thought of him leaving. I had to stop it, but why did I want to anyway. Is this pity? It didn’t feel like it; I can tell when I pity someone and this didn’t feel like pity. Could it be that he’s always been there?

I’ve never fallen in love before, nor caught feelings. Something about him felt so familiar. What has Kazuichi done for me?

I began to think and it all came to me. The times I had no one else to talk to so he’d be there, whenever someone has bailed on me I’d go to him. I’ve taken him for granted, yet he’s smiled through it all. To think I’d hurt him made me feel worse. “God, I hate this class,” he whispered to me. I broke away from my thought. “Oh, me too,” I answered,“How are you doing, though?”. 

“In this class?”

I nodded. “Terrible”.

I mouthed an “oh”. After a second, I offered a solution. “Well, you can always ask me for help,” I said. “Seriously?,” his eyes lit up like when we were in his room. God his crooked, toothy smile had me smiling, it was intoxicating. “Yeah, come to me anytime,” I said, getting quiet. This was quite awful. On top of that, I remembered I had a date after today. I didn’t even want whoever the fuck I had to meet with. As planned by Sonia, we were to meet at the bridge in between dorms on the third floor at 7pm (mind you, I don’t have a room in this school so there really is no reason for me to stay so late). Now that I think about it, it really sounds like more of a meetup than a date. Maybe it wasn’t so important for me to meet this mystery man. I can just text him I was no longer interested.

And that’s what I chose to do.

After class, I bumped into Sonia. She smiled widely when she saw me. “Oh my god, Are you excited for tonight?!”. Here I am, bursting her bubble.

“No”

Her smile went down slowly. “Why not?,” she asked. “I’m not going”.

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU AREN’T GOING?”

That was probably the loudest she’s ever spoken. “I mean, I don’t want to”. “But this was important, what the fuck,” she seemed too upset about it. “I don’t want him,” I said,“I’m into someone else”. “WHO?”. I swallowed before the name came out of my mouth,“Kazuichi...”.She slapped her hand over her mouth. “I know its emba-”.

“THAT’S NOT WHAT I’M GONNA SAY, oh my god. You have to go still, don’t leave your blind date hanging, please. I’m begging you, please!”

I scoffed.

I nodded. “Fine, but I really cannot pretend to have a good time,” I said to her. Nodding frantically, she said she knows. Ultimately, it was my choice and she knew that. Sonia walked home with me, then said she would walk back with me when it came time to meet my blind date. She wanted be there for when he was revealed. I got a message from this man when I got home.

Zero: Hey, are you sure you want to meet?

  I raised a brow and showed Sonia. She covered her mouth, but quickly told me to say yes. So that’s exactly what I did. 

Me: Yeah

Zero: ok

  “He isn’t into it,” I said, showing Sonia the messages. “He will be”. Damn, she was so dead set on this and for what? “Come on,” she said,“We should get going”. I nodded, getting up from the floor we sat on in my room. Locking up, we swiftly headed to the bridge.

It was dark by the time we got there.

“Hello?”

No answer. “Maybe wait a little,” Sonia suggested,“He gets shy”. I turned to her. “Do you know him?,” I asked. “Of course I do”. She must’ve misunderstood what I asked. “No, but do you know him know him,” I cleared up,“like is he close to any of us”. She nodded, now I was really curious. A couple minutes passed and he still wasn’t there. “See,” I said,“Fucking no-show!”. My hands clenched into a fist. Sonia was getting closer to me, looking as if she had some consoling words to say, but she stopped. Smiling, she backed away. Then, I heard footsteps behind me. She stepped away from me, nodding towards me, but that was just a signal for me to turn around. I heard a gasp,“You?”. 

The familiarity of the voice—it all made sense now.

“You!,” I cried. My eyes watered as a smiling Kazuichi stood in front of me. I hugged him and I could tell he wasn’t expecting me. “God, I thought you’d hate me,” he sighed, relieved. I shook my head. “I’ll leave you to it,” Sonia said,“I have to go anyway; my ride’s here”. We waved her off, getting back to each other. “Wanna head into my room?”.

We headed into his room, snuck in, I’m not supposed to be here. He threw himself onto his bed as his hands made a gesture for me to get on. I straddled him like before and kissed him. “Someone’s excited,” he teased. I scoffed. “I’m not the only one”. His face turned red as he looked away. “Hey, Kazuichi? Can we talk”. He nodded, waiting for me to introduce the topic. 

“Hajime and, well, everyone else including Sonia and myself were talking and—”

“Yeah?”

“That you’re leaving?”

“Oh... yeah. I am”

I frowned, getting off him, now sitting next to him. He looked upset now that he remembered. “It isn’t too late now, is it?”. He shook his read putting his hat on his bedside drawer (me thinks this is the first time I’ve seen him without a hat). “Tomorrow, I go confirm my decision,” he said,“I feel... miserable in Hope Peak. I don’t belong here”.

“Kazu...”

“You don’t know what it feels like not having anything in common with anyone. Everyone being so fucking distant”

“I do know how the first one feels, but... we have each other to relate to”

“I just hate how this school makes me feel and I want it to go away”

He shivered as his eyes began to water. It hurt so much to see him cry. I never have. “Baby, look at me,” I said to him,“We all love you, okay? I love you. I’m sorry for being so cold towards you this whole time. You were always there”. He stuck his head into my chest and just let everything go. I played with his hair as he got rid of emotion. I lay his head down and straddled him again. Quickly, I kissed all over his tear-stained face, the taste of salt persistent on my lips. The kisses got him riled up and giggly once again, making him tackle me. I fell back on the bed as he did the same to me. He smooched me on the lips before giving me his final word.

“I’ll think about it, okay?”

I nodded, not pressuring him. I wanted him to be so sure about staying. I also wanted him to know that if he did stay, I would be there, always. “You need a ride home?”, he asked. I could have gone home, but I didn’t necessarily want to. “Aw, don’t you want me to stay?,” I pouted. The way I said it was so playful it almost felt like teasing. He blushed frantically answering,“Yeah, I do”. I then realized I didn’t have clothes to sleep in.

And no, sleeping in underwear could never be an option. (Not yet, at least)

“Damnit, I don’t have clothes”. That’s when he opened his drawer and threw some sweatpants at me. “You have a shirt under that one, correct?,” he asked. I nodded, unbuttoning my school shirt. it was a silk black undershirt, could be used as an undergarment or sleepwear. “Hey, I’m just gonna go out to the communal to wash up, okay?”.

“That’s fine, baby”

He smiled, heading off with his toothbrush and towel. Once the door shut, I with a I slid off my socks. I then stood up and took off my skirt. The clothing fit me kind of snug, but I didn’t mind. I lay back and waited for him patiently.

His shower was quick, well, in my opinion it was. His hair gave off a brisk scent, as he lay next to me. His eyes looked weak as he hug his face into my chest. It wasn’t in a weird way or anything, so I simply assumed he was tired. “Are you sleepy, yet?”. He nodded, his face in deeper. “I’m really sleepy,” he said softly. I ran my fingers through his hair like before and let him sleep. Watching how at ease he was in my embrace soothed me to rest. According to Hajime, he was usually a light sleeper. The slightest touch or noise would wake him up. He would shift around or mumble in his sleep. This time, it was different.

It was peaceful.

The next morning, I woke up and put on yesterday’s clothes. When I got to putting on my shoes, I felt him move behind me. “Good morning, sleepyhead,” I said sweetly. “Good morning, angel,” he said, his voice straining as he stretched with a grunt,“Time?”. 

“9:30”

He got up and threw on a pair of clothes that I have never seen him in. “You want a ride home?,” he asked,“I meet with the board today at 10. If I take you home now, I can make it back in good time”. I nodded, going hand in hand with him after he had put his shoes on.

I never knew Kazuichi drove. I recall him say he had terrible motion sickness, yet here he was driving me home in a borrowed car that had been worked on in the school’s auto shop class. I had nothing else to talk about and the silence was killing me. “So you can drive?”.

“I can drive”

“What about your motion sickness?”

He clicked his tongue. “Yeah, that’s always been there, always will be,” he began to explain,“but I’ve learned to ignore it”. He put his arm around me, smiling. I smiled, yet I was terrified. What if I wasn’t enough to make him stay? As he drove, I noticed he had nothing in mind. With Kazuichi, you can always tell when there’s something on his mind. Always. He’ll squint, mouth some words to himself...that’s how you know. It began to overwhelm me and I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry knowing there was possibly nothing I can say or do for him to stay. He may know I love him, but what if the timing was off?

Oh, well.

We arrived at my home, him walking me up to my doorstep. He kissed me, his smile dropping afterward. Fuck, he must’ve noticed... “Hey, is everything okay?”. I nodded. “Okay,” he said, uncertainty in his tone,“Well, text me if anything!”. I nodded, a faint smile on my face. I headed inside and lay in bed.

My memory of that Saturday and the Sunday that followed are fogged. I don’t remember leaving my room, let alone my house. Monday came around. I was nervous. I walked down the halls, Sonia standing and an expression of worry spread across her face. “Sonia,” I said,“What’s wrong?”. She gulped and I knew nothing positive would come out of this.

“Hajime hasn’t seen Kazuichi all day”

My eyes widened and I wanted to pass out. “No, that can’t be!”. I didn’t want to feel this. It was all guilt. Why, though? Everything seemed fine when we had last seen each other, it made no sense. “You haven’t talked to him?,” she asked. I shook my head. Sonia sighed. “Okay,” she began,“We have government today. Your only class with him. All we have to do is wait and then we’ll know for sure”. I nodded, trying not to let emotions get to me.

Now in government, I waited, We all did. None of us had heard a word from him. Soon enough, an hour passed: no Kazuichi. Tearful, my eyes shut as I placed my head on my table. Hajime walked up to me. “If its in any consolation at all,” he began,“Kazuichi really did like you. He loved you. I’m sure he knew you loved him”.

“Why the fuck do you make it sound like he’s dead?”

“I see how it would sound like so. I’m just gonna leave my words at that”

My eyes were burning and a headache began growing. Suddenly, there was pounding on thr door, pounding that startled the class. The teacher sighed. The knock was that of a late student, which obviously would’ve annoyed her considering this is a 65 minute class and it had been an hour or so. A student volunteered for the door and there stepped in a distressed Kazuichi.

“WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T YOU TEXT ME?!?”

I sniffled and my heart was beating out of my chest when I heard his voice and saw his face. “Kazuichi?!”. I ran up to him and hugged him, he was tense. “I was so worried,” he said. “That makes two of us”. I kissed him, he asked if I was okay and I nodded so frantically. “I didn’t text because I was sad!”. He hugged me tighter, kissing my forehead. I looked into his eyes, falling in love. Then I had realized one thing. “Wait”. He looked at me,“What’s up?”.

“WHY ARE YOU SO LATE?!”

“I HAD AN EYE EXAM!”

He walked to the teacher and handed her a doctor’s note. “You know I can’t mark you present right?,” she said. “You can’t mark me absent either, miss”. Yeah, he wasn’t the best student here. He walked back up to me and kissed me. “There’s like 2 minutes left,” he said,“Can we leave?”.

“Just go”

Being a nuisance paid off as we were all let out early. He grabbed my book bag and ran with me, pulling me by the hand. He took me to the back of the school, yeah, the very back behind the gym. I sat in his lap as he kissed me once more harder, now that no one was watching. I then faced him. “I thought you were leaving,” I whined. He ran his hands through my hair. “I was going to,” he said,“but I couldn’t do that to you, or to myself”. We sat in silence till I said,“Who would’ve thought?”.

“Yeah, in a million years, huh? What year we in?”

“Shut up”

I kissed him and felt him smile against my lips. “Don’t change, Kazuichi”. “Don’t plan on it,” he said,“I love you”. “I love you too”.

[normal-thoughts-official]

Crack au where there's a yearbook for all the leaders in the shadow world with funny nominations. This is stupid sorry.

listen to me. you listen to me. i LOVE stupid asks. altho i dont think any asks are stupid i love everything yall send me but like! silly/crack asks are more than encouraged. i literally live for this shit

ok this is cracky so dont take it too seriously ok thnx

also i really want to hear ur thoughts on the nominations, but here's what i have so far:

Raphael wins "most beautiful smile" because 1- its true; 2- half the downworld council is dating him and the other half includes his dad, and they all love and cherish his smile, especially as it's so rare. raphael and alec both voted for magnus, so hes a close second

"Council supermodel" or whatever they jokingly call the Most Beautiful Leader prize is an ultimate tie because magnus and alec voted for each other, raphael voted for maia, maia voted for meliorn, and meliorn voted for raphael. later they jokingly ask simon to make the final vote and he gets nervous because HOW is he supposed to choose between his 3 perfect partners so he just blurts out "alec" in nervousness. ever since it's polycule canon that alec won council supermodel and they joke about it when they want to make simon Really Flustered

(raphael is also like wtf meliorn u should have voted for maia i dont even want to be Council Supermodel anyway. meliorn is like 1- thats exactly why; 2- i figured this was going to happen so making it a super tie was really funny. raphael has to stop a smile because hes a simp for meliorn's mischief even when hes on the receiving end, goddamn it)

(maia is the winner in his heart tho, but he goes by "alec won" to tease simon cuz priorities)

Fashionista or whatever is a tie between magnus and meliorn because facts only, and also alec and meliorn voted for magnus, maia and magnus voted for meliorn, and raphael voted for alec as a joke because bitch really is allergic to anything thats not a black t-shirt

can u tell that i have no idea how yearbooks work? i dont understand gringo traditions

Raphael Is Very Tired Prize For Disgusting Allo Shit, aka "most likely to make out during a council session" goes to magnus and alec because of course it does

HAD TO LOOK UP YEARBOOK MOST LIKELY QUOTES AND FOUND OUT THERE IS A "TALLEST/SHORTEST" PRIZE RAPHAEL IS SO FUCKING PISSED WHEN HE GETS THE SHORTEST PRIZE DJDNDJDNDIDNDIDNDIDNDI EVERYONE IS FORCED TO HEAR THE "IN MÉXICO I WAS THE TALLEST" SPEECH FOR TWO AND A HALF HOURS. then raphael hands alec his "tallest" prize like "here have the Unnecessarily Big Giant For Inhuman Looking Motherfuckers prize"

best dancer goes to magnus. no-brainer

"most loved by parents" goes to raphael for OBVIOUS reasons and magnus gives him a kiss on the forehead and everyone makes fun of him and hes like "how is this my life" (he doesnt mind one bit)

found out that theres a "fearless" prize that some site also called "pack leader award" (??) so of course traditionally the pack leader takes this one, so maia takes it

magnus wins "everyone's father" because of course it does. also "most likely to start a charity" and "most likely to invent the next groundbreaking technology/spell" for the 100th year in a row

yo yearbook prizes are actually rlly boring tf

"coffeepot's best friend" goes to alec because hes the only one who can stand institute coffee anyway

i give up on looking it up back to making up prizes. "most likely to roll their eyes so hard they see their own brain" goes to alec

"most likely to make a stranger on the street fall in love" goes to maia "5 partners and counting" roberts. also "best hair"

"most likely to show up to the meeting in a clown wig" goes to raphael because hes a dramatic bitch like that. magnus votes against him once and he shows up next week in a full clown outfit saying he cant believe he was betrayed like that

"stubborn ass award for that one mf who just wont quit" is a tie between alec, magnus, and raphael

greatest prankster goes to meliorn

Voice Of Reason Award goes to maia. Greatest Giver Of Amazing Advice That Is Thoroughly Ignored goes to meliorn (raphael votes for himself on this one and is booed by all)

Owner Of Gender prize goes to magnus because hes so gender ugh. meliorn is just like "i still dont understand what that is" and almost wins anyway

Juggling Queen goes to maia for being pack leader, restaurant owner, university student, and girlfriend of 5 all at the same time. also "most likely to succeed (even more)" because obviously they have all succeeded but maia is something else

Most Iconic Exchange goes to "because you're so unbiased" and magnus is salty about it for years to come

ok thats all i have give me other ideas because this seems like a rlly fun thing to explore rifndi

[love-killed-the-superstar]

Pinch Hitter

Written for @codesecretsanta 2020!!

Hey, @nemesisadraste!! It’s me, your secret santa!! I heard you wanted a slice of samodd so I was ofc 100000% down to clown. Hope you enjoy!!!! It’s a little group chat heavy and I apologise, but there’s some actual prose around the halfway point haha

Can also be read here on AO3!: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28323549

ngl I would actually recommend reading it on ao3 because of formatting hahaha but anyway enjoy!!

Pinch Hitter

DIRECT MESSAGE: Odd Della Robbia

(11:43PM) Odd Della Robbia: SAMMMMMM

(11:45PM) Sam Suarez: yyyyea?

(11:45PM) Odd Della Robbia: XANA ATTACK. NUCLEAR SHIT. COVER FOR US PLSSSS SHOULDNT BE TOO LONG 🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀

(11:46PM) Sam Suarez: sure thing sure thing go save the world n shit 👍👍

(11:46PM) Sam Suarez: was only going to stay up late rewatching good omens anyway

(11:47PM) Odd Della Robbia: hero. incredible woman. love of my life

(11:47PM) Odd Della Robbia: and say hi to you know who for meeeee 😻

(11:48PM) Sam Suarez: crowley is a fictional character odd, he cant hear you

(11:48PM) Odd Della Robbia: but he's so sexy and strong 😻😻😻

(11:48PM) Odd Della Robbia: not as sexy and strong as you, ofc ofc

(11:49PM) Sam Suarez: jesus odd go save the world already and leave me alone

(11:49PM) Odd Della Robbia: SO COLDDDD 🙀🙀🙀

(11:49PM) Odd Della Robbia: still love you tho

(11:49PM) Sam Suarez: still love you too ok NOW GO

…

DIRECT MESSAGE: Jeremie Belpois

(1:24AM) Jeremie Belpois: Samantha?

(1:27AM) Sam Suarez: sup belpois

(1:27AM) Jeremie Belpois: Motion sensor went off. Pretty sure Jim is out and about. Try to buy us some time?

(1:28AM) Sam Suarez: shit alright. i'll see what i can do. b-team already know???

(1:29AM) Jeremie Belpois: They do. The four of you work something out, please? Thanks.

(1:30AM) Sam Suarez: ofc. hey btw hows odd doing??? ok???

(1:30AM) Jeremie Belpois: 80 life points and going strong, Sam.

(1:30AM) Sam Suarez: sweet 👍👍

…

GROUP CHAT: Lyoko B-Team REPRESENT

(1:31AM) Sam Suarez: what's our plan then home slices!!!!!!! 💪😤

(1:32AM) William Dunbar: Still don't know why I'm considered a b teamer but okay 😒

(1:32AM) Sam Suarez: don’t fucking complain william at least you get to be in the main group chat, 🙄🙄

(1:32AM) Elisabeth “Sissi” Delmas: ^^^^^^

(1:33AM) Laura Gauthier: Try getting added, then removed, and still being on the waitlist to rejoin

(1:33AM) Sam Suarez: ouch lol

(1:33AM) Laura Gauthier: ANYWAY, we need a plan of action. Jim’s doing the rounds. Any thoughts?

(1:33AM) William Dunbar: I’ll go stuff Jeremie’s duvet 🙋♂️ Laura you go to Aelita’s, Sam come up with some sort of distraction 👉

(1:33AM) Sam Suarez: hold on WHY DO I GET STUCK WITH THE HARD JOB?? 😠😠

(1:34AM) William Dunbar: to prove yourself, young one. how else do you plan on getting into the lyoko warriors group chat?? 🤷♂️

(1:34AM) Sam Suarez: SHIT U RIGHT… 👀

(1:34AM) Sam Suarez: its my chance… to shine

(1:34AM) Elisabeth “Sissi” Delmas: Why does everyone forget im fucking here?? Give me something to do????? 🙋😤🤦♀️

(1:35AM) William Dunbar: nobody forgot you sissi, shit 🙄 take odd and ulrichs room, if u think u can wrangle kiwi 🥝

(1:35AM) Sam Suarez: i would like it on the record that i did in fact forget about sissi 🙋🙋

(1:35AM) Elisabeth “Sissi” Delmas: FUCK NO. THAT DOG DOES NOT RESPECT ME 😤😤😤😤😤

(1:35AM) Elisabeth “Sissi” Delmas: Also RUDE..

(1:35AM) Sam Suarez: priorities babe or the fucking world ends. your call tho!!!!!! ✌️🤪

(1:36AM) Elisabeth “Sissi” Delmas: ………………. F I N E 🤦♀️

…

GROUP CHAT: Lyoko B-Team REPRESENT

(1:59AM) William Dunbar: @Sam Suarez What did you tell Jim?????? He’s 100% doing head counts now you dumb fuck 🤦♂️

(1:59AM) Sam Suarez: don’t take that tone with me dickbar, he’s looking for a sick GIRL. if you stuffed the fucking duvets properly we won’t have a problem, he’ll only be peeking into rooms anyway 😠😠

(2:00AM) Laura Gauthier: And what do you suppose happens when he finds NOBODY and comes to the conclusion that you lied to him? You have to think these things through, Sam, Jeremie’s not planning on doing any return trips if he can help it.

(2:00AM) Sam Suarez: yall are jerks, YOU put me up to the task of cooking up an excuse, don’t complain that it was shit!!!! geez!!!!

(2:00AM) Elisabeth “Sissi” Delmas: God you’re all useless. I can fake-cry, I took a drama workshop over summer. I’ll take the hit but you OWE ME. 😤

(2:01AM) Sam Suarez: there are no favours in this sissi, we took an oath. we are heroes of justice now and you don’t get compensation for saving the world, its superhero 101

(2:01AM) Elisabeth “Sissi” Delmas: Shut up Sam, you’re buying me dinner tomorrow. Take me somewhere nice 💅🙆😘

(2:01AM) Sam Suarez: but i don’t date girls who only save the world to reap the benefits, this simply won’t work out 😔😔

(2:01AM) William Dunbar: Take your flirting to private message, I don't want to be implicated in this sordid affair if Odd finds out

(2:01AM) Sam Suarez: ahahahahahahaahahahaha we got a funny man over here

(2:02AM) William Dunbar: Lololol

(2:02AM) Laura Gauthier: SHUT UP ALL OF YOU.

(2:02AM) Laura Gauthier: I can hear Jim coming, play it cool

(2:02AM) William Dunbar: Hahahaaha good luck 😂😂

(2:07AM) William Dunbar: You all alive……………..? 👀

(2:07AM) Sam Suarez: we sure are, listen to this

(2:07AM) Sam Suarez: sissi fake cried, told Jim she was having the worst cramps of her life and started listing off the side effects of the birth control she’s on. It was the greatest thing ive ever heard and im absolutely buying her dinner tomorrow, and yes it will be candle-lit 🍽️🍷💍

(2:07AM) William Dunbar: Holy shit. 👀 My deepest respect. 🙏 I will put in a good word with Master Belpois Himself, she deserves a seat at the grown ups table for this 🤷♂️

(2:07AM) Sam Suarez: no doubt no doubt

(2:08AM) Laura Gauthier: That was a close one. Sissi’s methods are unorthodox but hey, it worked. Next time find an excuse that doesn’t create more work for us, all right, Sam?

(2:08AM) Sam Suarez: shit you’re ungrateful as fuck. Damn . 🙄🙄

(2:08AM) Laura Gauthier: I’M JUST SAYING

(2:08AM) William Dunbar: Come on, lets not fight, I’m too tired for this shit 😴

(2:09AM) Sam Suarez: so go to bed, dumbass

…

DIRECT MESSAGE: Odd Della Robbia

(2:59AM) Odd Della Robbia: guess who just got DEVIRTUALISED!!!! 😹😹🔫🔫

(3:02AM) Sam Suarez: oh no, poor baby, you were doing so well

(3:03AM) Odd Della Robbia: right????? fucking megatanks, im telling you, they suck so much 😿

(3:03AM) Sam Suarez: well, if you’re out of points now, come by my room and we can play animal crossing together

(3:04AM) Odd Della Robbia: would that i could, sam, would that i could

(3:04AM) Odd Della Robbia: but theres a fucking building contractor lurking somewhere in the factory, xana-possessed, trying to take me the fuck OUT 🙀🙀🙀

(3:04AM) Sam Suarez: just tell him you’re not interested????? Its what i told sissi earlier

(3:05AM) Odd Della Robbia: ahahahahahahahaha

(3:05AM) Odd Della Robbia: first of all, WOW WE GOT A FUNNYMAN OVER HERE

(3:05AM) Sam Suarez: lololol

(3:05AM) Odd Della Robbia: second of all, i demand to hear that story as soon as i get back. Nobody turns sissi down and gets away with it 👀

(3:06AM) Sam Suarez: well, i cant help it

(3:06AM) Sam Suarez: my heart… belongs to another… a mr odd della robbia… im in the throes… of love… 💓💓

(3:06AM) Odd Della Robbia: OH!!! SAM!!!!!!! 😻😻😻💓💓💓

(3:06AM) Odd Della Robbia: luv u. So much

(3:06AM) Sam Suarez: same same lololol

(3:07AM) Odd Della Robbia: when i get back we ca

(3:07AM) Sam Suarez: ????

(3:07AM) Sam Suarez: odd????

(3:07AM) Sam Suarez: come in, funny man????

message failed

(3:08AM) Sam Suarez: odd if you die i will be so mad

message failed

…

DIRECT MESSAGE: Ulrich Stern

(3:10AM) Ulrich Stern: Hey Sam, it’s Ulrich

(3:10AM) Ulrich Stern: Einstein has another favour to ask

(3:11AM) Sam Suarez: first of all you dont have to tell me its you, the app TELLS me whos messaging me, this isnt a text

(3:11AM) Sam Suarez: second, tell me my boyfriend isn’t getting fucking murdered by a building contractor 😠😠

(3:11AM) Ulrich Stern: Huh???

(3:11AM) Ulrich Stern: Oh yeah. He’s holding his own but there’s not much time. You need to go keep watch outside Jeremie’s door while Laura transfers some files. If we get busted and she can’t complete the file transfer… well. The world does actually depend on it, so. Yeah

(3:11AM) Sam Suarez: isnt william the better option anyway?? Isnt he only like 3 doors down from you 🙄

(3:12AM) Ulrich Stern: He’s not answering. Probably asleep already, he’s a dumbass. Please, you’re our only option, Sissi isn’t answering either

(3:12AM) Sam Suarez: oh theres a GREAT story behind that but i’ll let her tell it tomorrow

(3:13AM) Sam Suarez: and fine, but seriously is odd okay?? If this dude is more than 5’5 he’ll have a problem taking him down, you know how scrawny he is

(3:13AM) Ulrich Stern: He’s tougher than you think, Sam. Trust me on that one.

(3:14AM) Ulrich Stern: (Also I am about to go save him from getting his ass beat)

(3:14AM) Sam Suarez: all right all right

(3:15AM) Sam Suarez: but hey stern, when this has all blown over, we’re having a serious talk about promoting me to the big leagues

(3:16AM) Ulrich Stern: ...Big leagues?

(3:16AM) Sam Suarez: im talking main group chat, my guy. MAIN. GROUP CHAT. 👏👏

…

DIRECT MESSAGE: Odd Della Robbia

(3:30AM) Odd Della Robbia: im coming mi amore… i beat up a fully grown man with my bare fists… pushed him down some stairs… it was amazing 😼💯

(3:31AM) Sam Suarez: please say you didnt break any bones, belpois isnt planning on reversing time right???

(3:31AM) Sam Suarez: like even if was going to kill u he was only possessed by xana

(3:32AM) Odd Della Robbia: heh i broke nothing!! Im a hero of justice after all 💪😼

(3:32AM) Odd Della Robbia: ulrich may have given him some bruises tho 😹

(3:32AM) Sam Suarez: ehh i’ll take that over this guy waking up with fucked up limbs and shit

(3:32AM) Odd Della Robbia: no doubt no doubt

(3:33AM) Odd Della Robbia: …

(3:33AM) Odd Della Robbia: anyway, night sam 💞

(3:33AM) Sam Suarez: oh, ok 🙄

(3:33AM) Sam Suarez: night, stupid. love you ❤️

…

Despite his parting message, Odd shows up anyway.

He slinks into her dorm room as it draws to 4:00AM, half-heartedly kicking off his shoes at the door and closing it with a softness that’s surprising given how exhausted he looks; almost as though it is second nature at this point to keep quiet, avoid drawing more attention. Her boyfriend is a professional, after all, when it comes to saving the world on the down-low.

Samantha watches Odd from her desk, where she is sat up browsing Twitter and waiting for the inevitable ‘we need you to do something else before the night is through’ messages from Jeremie. She’s been listening to the same Jay Som song on loop for over an hour now, and it leaks quietly from her laptop speakers, a strange extra layer of ambiance to the puzzle that is the hour before birdsong begins. A Baymax-patterned blanket is thrown around her shoulders for warmth, and there’s an empty can of energy drink within arms reach.

“Wrong room,” she says in a low voice, expecting him to jump anyway; he doesn’t. Instead he squints at her in the dim light, leaning back against the door with a weary sigh. “Didn’t think you were coming.”

“Wasn’t, but… here I am.”

He doesn’t really elaborate further than that.

“Ulrich know you came this way?”

“He stayed behind to talk things over with Jeremie. The overbike got fucked up in Lyoko and they’re gonna upgrade it or something. Jer-bear needed to know the specifics about his experience driving it so they can do some fine-tuning, I think. Y’know, so he doesn’t drift too far and plunge into the digital sea. Shit can get real bad, real fast.”

“I’ll bet. So, you triumphed over evil tonight?” she guesses, shutting her laptop lid and rising to her feet. Her blanket trails behind her as she does. “XANA can’t attempt to destroy the world for another 24 hours?”

“You know it,” he says, yawning. “And now, it’s bedtime.”

Thank fuck they don’t have classes tomorrow. She’ll happily lie in til noon with Odd, catching up on these lost hours.

Sam steps over her skateboard and some laundry she kicked aside earlier, a little embarrassed that her floor is so messy, but she knows Odd is too tired to even comprehend the state of her room right now. As it is, he’s swaying a little while standing, stifling a yawn against his hand - it’s only a matter of time til he crashes.

“All right, guess you’re here to stay. Hop in.”

“Did you know? You’re a goddess. An angel. A truly spectacular woman among women,” he mumbles.

“Flattery won’t give me back the hours of sleep I lost sending Jim on that wild goose chase earlier,” Sam muses, wiggling under her covers, still bundled up in the blanket like a crepe. She doesn’t know the full story, nor does she imagine she’ll get it until tomorrow when the group meet up for lunch - something about XANA threatening to blow up a reactor on some nearby building site, creating some devastating damage to the local area - but at this point she’s too tired to listen and Odd is too tired to explain.

Odd flops down on the bed beside her.

“Thank you for helping us out,” he sighs, too tired to even look at her. His limbs are all floppy. If she nudged him off the edge of the bed now, he’d probably just fold up like a pair of pants and stay there til morning. “What did you do, exactly?”

“Told him I heard someone crying in the bathroom and thought maybe someone was unwell,” she says with a shrug. “Jim checked the girls bathroom and did room checks, which gave me, William and Laura some time to sneak into your respective rooms and act as extra head counts. Just being under the covers was enough, I don’t think he was doing anything more than cursory peeking into rooms with a tiny flashlight. Wasn’t the most innovative red herring to give him, but it did the trick.”

“If it keeps them off our backs, the creativity isn’t worth factoring in,” Odd murmurs, tugging off his jeans and chucking them at the wall opposite. The impact scuffs the wall slightly, but Sam doesn’t care. Delmas doesn’t give them shit about damages to the room unless it makes the room completely uninhabitable anyway, which is why there’s a literal hole in her wall through to the room next door that she’s had to artfully cover with a Front Bottoms poster.

“Anyway, Sissi distracted him. I’ll let her tell the story herself, it was fucking hilarious. Then Ulrich messaged to say he needed me to keep watch while Laura sent over some files from the computer in Jeremie’s room to the supercomputer, which - I mean, in this day and age, why the fuck doesn’t he keep everything on the cloud anyway? So I was stuck doing that, because apparently, William had already fallen asleep again, the fucking lug. Can you believe that? You’d think, being your Lyoko pinch hitter and all, he’d be better at staying awake.”

“Oh, I can believe it,” Odd drawls, tugging off his shirt and balling it up, sending it to land atop his crumpled jeans with a flourish. He rubs his eyes and peers around. “Got that old shirt for me to sleep in?”

Rolling her eyes fondly, Sam reluctantly peels back the bedsheets once more and pads over to her wardrobe, pulling it open and sifting through until she finds what she’s looking for; an old Hootie & The Blowfish T-shirt, handed down to her by one of her older brothers. It always hangs right off of her, so on Odd’s scrawny frame, it’s basically an Ebenezer Scrooge nightgown.

“Here.” She tosses it over to him and he wriggles into it happily. “You might as well keep it, these days you wear it more than me.”

“If I walked around in a band shirt that hangs off me like a smock I’d never hear the end of it from Ulrich,” he says with a laugh, flopping back against the covers and sighing deeply. “He makes fun of my little chicken legs enough as it is.”

“Well, I love your little chicken legs, so he can keep his opinions to himself.”

She slides into bed beside him and he’s cold to touch; the freezing factory, coupled with walking back in the chilly night air, must have really done a number on him. He snuggles against her happily, mumbling, “Can I warm my feet on you?”

“Will you respect my wishes if I say no?” she retorts. He grins as she sends him a knowing look, before placing his feet, two tiny, stinky blocks of ice, against her shins. They both pull the covers up over their noses, staring at the ceiling in dazed silence for a few moments, before she adds, “He won’t miss you when you get back?”

“Not likely, I don’t fucking spoon him to sleep, Sam,” he snorts. “He’ll be too tired to care where the fuck I’ve snuck off to, and he can handle anything Kiwi throws his way, so it’s fine. I’m sure he’s capable of connecting the dots.”

“Fine, shithead, I’ll drop it.”

She continues to stare up at the ceiling, but she can feel his keen gaze on her, and rolls over to face him. He watches her carefully.

“Are you mad at me?”

“What? No.”

“Even though it’s nearly four in the morning and you spent the whole night covering for us?”

“It’s what happens when you agree to saving the world, isn’t it?” she points out. Sam’s eyes adjust to the darkness, and she notices for the first time that there’s the beginnings of bruises around his neck. She reaches up to trace them with her fingers, and he instinctively wriggles away. Her breath catches in her throat. “…XANA did this to you?”

“Actually, it was a building contractor,” he corrects. “He started to choke me, but then Ulrich got him in a headlock and next thing you know… we pushed him down some stairs.”

“It must have been scary,” she mutters. At that, his face melts into a smile, and he prods at her face.

“You’re so serious! Sam, trust me, this happens all the time. I’m indestructible, so it’s fine.”

“How else am I supposed to react, huh? My boyfriend comes home with strangulation marks on his neck and you want me to be all cavalier about it…”

“Because I’m used to it.” Odd pauses. “Well, not strangulation in particular, but getting hurt on the job is kinda everyday stuff.”

Sam scowls. “You're not supposed to pretend like this is normal, Odd.”

“What, you want me to cry and be vulnerable on you?”

“No.”

“You do.”

“Okay, fine, I do! What about it?!” She fixes him with a stern look. “You have to be careful! What’s the point in me staying awake and making distractions and shit if you’re just going to fucking die at the end of it, huh?”

“I’m not going to die.” He cups her face in his hands and fixes her with his own stern look. “Look. I know you haven’t been doing this long, but this happens, okay? Not always, but it does. I mean, you remember the kind of fights you used to pick with me when I would come over with these bruises without telling you why.”

She thinks back to the months leading up to him finally telling her the truth. How scared and hurt she felt, seeing him with these cuts and scrapes, bruises, occasionally even a sprain. She’d gone through all the possibilities in her head - bullying, hate crimes, mugging even. Still, he refused to budge, until one day he just… stopped pretending it was all some big coincidence.

“It was scarier not knowing,” she decides. “At least this way I know what you’re up against, but… I don’t know.”

He leans forward and kisses her on the nose. “I promise you I’m fine. But look, part of being a Lyoko pinch hitter is knowing things get hairy sometimes. I’m gonna get hurt from time to time but if I don’t, the whole world explodes. Or, okay, maybe not literally , most of the time, but I’m like, a drop in the bucket.”

“Well, you’re a drop in the bucket who matters to me,” she reinforces. Staring into his eyes, she can feel her body relax slightly. “Look, I’ll drop it. I’m just glad you’re okay.”

“Good. Now, can we please sleep? I am so tired, I’m starting to forget who I am. You’re about to encounter Grinch Odd, and he’s no fun whatsoever.”

“Oh, is he the one who said my face looked like a beet that one time?” she wonders, raising her eyebrows at him. He groans and pushes her away, covering his face with his hands.

“How many times do I have to tell you XANA fucked with my speech?” he grumbles. “Completely scrambled my words. I was going for beautiful.”

“Sure, sure. When in doubt, blame it on XANA?”

“I mean it! I would never call you a beet! A potato, maybe…”

She shoves him and he both winces and laughs. “Oof, that guy did a number on me.”

“Yeah, well, I’ll beat him up for you then.”

“You’re going to beat up XANA?”

“Sure, how hard could it be? I’ll just like, reach into the supercomputer with my full fist-”

They both burst out laughing and fall back against the pillows.

Once it trickles out, she blinks sleepily at the ceiling.

“I never really thought about how long you guys have been going without us, though.”

Odd quirks an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“Us. The B-Team, the Pinch Hitters. The Lyoko Warriors’ freaking PR Team! Without someone pulling the strings you must have run into all sorts of trouble, right?”

“Oh, yeah,” Odd laughs. “We used to have the authorities trying to invade the factory. Almost got expelled by Delmas. I almost got sent to a psych ward before, that was fun.”

“Jesus, Odd. Why did it take you so long to introduce other people to the fray?”

He shrugs. “No clue, really. One day we just kinda realised… sometimes it’s better to have people around. No man is an island. That can apply to groups too, I guess.”

“And why would you trust me?” Sam presses on, arms folded over her chest. “Sure, I’m your girlfriend, but I’ve hurt you before. I mean really fucked you over. That whole thing with William…”

“You had no way of knowing,” he says firmly. “It was stupid and immature, sure, but how could you have known?”

She shrugs. “I’ve just been thinking about it, I guess.”

They both lapse into silence, but beneath the covers, Odd reaches for her hand.

“I trust you because I trust you,” he says eventually. “And because if we need some big Lyoko Warriors PR Team, I’d want you at the helm. Who else is going to keep William from swaggering off the side of the planet? He can be kinda self-absorbed.”

“Sissi,” Sam deadpans.

“And who else is going to keep Sissi from turning every XANA distraction into a fucking performative art piece?”

“...Okay, fair.”

“By the way, you still taking her out to dinner tomorrow?”

“Apparently. You should tag along as my date.”

He laughs. “No way, I’m no third wheel.”

Sam leans forward and kisses him gently, before muttering, “By the way, I told Ulrich to get me in the main group chat. Think he’ll do it?”

“Absolutely not,” Odd says cheerfully, kissing her back. “But nice try. Here’s to next time.”

…

GROUP CHAT: Into The Lyokoverse

(9:48AM) Jeremie Belpois added Sam Suarez to Into The Lyokoverse.

(9:48AM) Jeremie Belpois: @Everyone Look who decided to show up!

(9:52AM) Yumi Ishiyama: Oh Hi Sam

(9:59AM) Aelita Schaeffer: hey, look who made it to the big leagues!!

(10:10AM) Odd Della Robbia: SAMMMMMMMMM !!!!!!!!!!

(10:12AM) Sam Suarez: !!!!!!!!

[fallingsunflower]

Oh my god can yall shut up about how they dont care about fans and tour already 😭 like seriously bc they deadass cant say anything until its all ready theres so much that goes into planning they will let you know when they can - which should be in 2 weeks time bc thats the way they did it last time. If you’re too impatient and cant wait and wanna act the way you do now sell your fucking ticket(s) and move on?? Who is forcing you to hold them and wait if you dont wanna go?? Yall clearly at a point where you dont stan the man anymore bc of whats going on so maybe move on already instead of yapping about the same things everyday my god i hate this pr shit as much as you do but god damn yall act ridiculous 😭😭

I think you need to take a breather for a second. We’ve already discussed that Harry doesn’t necessarily have a say in when tour gets finalized. Obviously that’s the arenas and his team, and I’m sure they’re working on dates. But it’s the fact that Harry hasn’t said anything. He doesn’t need to announce tour dates right now to be active on social media but it’s been radio silent from him, especially in comparison to how other artists communicate with their fans. Doesn’t take that long to say something to appease his fans. And I also think a lot of people feel wary of him because of more than what’s going on with holivia. We’ve discussed that all too. I’m not sure if you’re new on my blog or just haven’t seen those posts but we discuss pretty regularly things about Harry that don’t really have anything to do with Olivia.

Also this is a discussion blog where we talk about things. Sorry not all the topics appeal to you but…the point is “yapping about the same things every day” plus some new stuff. That’s kind of the point of a discussion blog 🥴

[ahgaseda]

the NSFW alphabet | Mark (Got7)

{ this post contains graphic descriptions and explicit content : please read at your own risk! }

A = aroused (how he acts when he's in the mood)

like a horny little fuck boy. but he also smooth as fuck. says the dirtiest shit. cant keep his hands off of you. will bring your hand to the bulge in his jeans like baby look what you made me do. goes right for the neck kisses. he knows thats the weak spot and hes not afraid to go for it straight away. pouts or sulks when you play hard to get but secretly loves it.

B = body (favorite body part of their partner)

he loves your skin. he loves how soft it is. he loves how warm it feels against him. he lives to trace his fingertips in mindless patterns up and down your body. from your head to your toes. he loves to nip and bite. he loves to lick and suck. if he can mark every inch of you he will. oh god and the warm sweaty feel of your skin when youre on top of him after a round of sex is his favorite.

C = climax (what he's like when he orgasms)

face scrunching up. teeth buried in his bottom lip. during sex and climax its like the only word he knows is fuck. if its a really intense nut he may just repeat that word until he finally comes back down. hes not afraid to make noise but its usually soft moans or heavy panting. he also the type to like staying inside after he finishes. youre very used to him getting comfortable on top of you.

D = dominance (is he dominant, submissive or a switch)

a very very good switch. he is the master of both sides. can be a rough and intimidating dom that puts you in your place and fucks you from behind into the mattress. or he can be the cutest brattiest little sub that lets you cuff him to the bed and do whatever you want with him until further notice. he doesnt really have a preference since either are good fun for him and he likes making you both happy.

E = experience (how experienced is he in the bedroom)

he definitely been at this a while and hes not opposed to one night stands. when hes in a relationship he gives his all to his partner but a quick fuck with a stranger not so much. because hes a Virgo he prefers sex with love but when hes single he will make do with what he has. but when hes in that meaningful relationship with someone he loves he will make it his mission to become an expert on pleasing them in bed.

F = fortitude (does he have a lot of stamina and energy)

yes and no. lots and lots of stamina. he can make a round last as long as needed. he can hold back his orgasm until youve finished even if he has to pull out and calm himself down when hes too close. as for multiple rounds well that might be reserved for special occasions. or if hes been away and the two of you are reunited after weeks apart. after sex he typically wants to settle down and snuggle and probably sleep. that being said hes also the type to do a lot before actual sex. like dry grinding or manual or oral. there can still be multiple orgasms before any intercourse which is like the grand finale of a long show lol

G = gratification (what really gets him off)

getting exactly what he wants. it sounds selfish but its not. if he got you all worked up and now hes got you right where he wants you and youre moaning his name and its all playing out exactly how he wanted and imagined then hes gonna blow really hard. even when hes subbing and youre doing what you want he still wanted to sub in the first place so it still taps into what gets him off. he can be a greedy little lover boy but its never at your expense. he will never leave you unsatisfied.

H = habitat (preferred place to get busy)

at home usually. or at least somewhere that a couch or bed is nearby. he will want to call it a day afterward. but he also likes quickies so this isn’t a strict rule of his. he definitely down for car sex if the mood is right. in fact it probably happens a lot more than he would care to admit. he also is a big fan of pool sex for obvious reasons. tbh if the two of you are getting it on he really doesnt give a fuck where it is in the heat of the moment.

I = intimacy (how emotional is he when it comes to sex)

it depends on the mood. if its a rough round and hes just chasing your highs then probably not at all. if youre celebrating an anniversary or something then there will be a lot of intimacy and tenderness. also there is a lot of makeup sex in this relationship and he will get very emotional about it. hes not the type to pick a fight just for the sake of makeup sex. the fights will be real and serious and so will be the making up making love afterward.

J = joke (how much does he play around)

during roleplay and foreplay there will be plenty of joking around. also during a quickie yes he can be a little shit and make you giggle. totally the type to get horny and poke you in the back with his dick like hey you asleep? if humor works on you then he will use it. he can be really funny when subbing so be prepared to laugh. he doesnt take the bedroom too seriously unless the mood calls for it. hes a pretty easygoing guy and that carries over to his sexy time too.

K = kink (toys or kinks)

loves toys. will gladly tie you up and slip some vibrating panties on you and then play some video games with you having orgasms over and over behind him. but he also the type to get lots of different toys and then never use them lol he tends to stick with the usual stuff. as far as his kinks he loves when you dom the absolute fuck out of him. pin him down and fuck the soul out of him. he wont readily admit it but he loves when you own him in every way possible. also marking haha no pun intended. he loves to give and receive bruises and hickeys.

L = lust (how often does he want it)

the sex drive is between average and high. sometimes leaning toward the high side when hes in a committed relationship. you turn him on almost constantly hes just so damn into you. yall fuck each other on the regular. he really likes showing how much he needs you through sex. there will be times though when hes exhausted from work and just does not have the energy for a fuck. other times work can stress him tf out so bad that he just needs to take some pleasure out of your body. he will always give you a heads up text on the way home when thats the case though.

M = masturbation (mutual and solo)

its not a big deal to him. he dont care if you get yourself off though he does like hearing all about it. you can call him up for some phone sex and he will do the bare minimum. but that deep voice is enough. he will give you a mmhm and good girl and yep a couple of those do the trick. he gets a little freaky when yall are apart though. he wants you to send him nudes and show him your boobs when you facetime and all that stuff. when hes a horny little fucker and youre not around he really is shameless.

N = never (what he will not do)

share. you are his and every other guy can fuck right off. if you suggest a threesome you can forget it. if one of the members has his phone and accidentally sees one of your nudes he may come out swinging. he loves you way too much and is too emotionally attached to you. he cant ever see another guy give you pleasure or even let them see your beautiful body that belongs to him. he doesnt care if youve been with other guys or been in love before you are his now and he is yours and thats that.

O = oral (giving and receiving)

oh god giving him head is the best because the sounds he makes. he isnt loud but hes not afraid to make noise when he feels good and your hot wet mouth is the good shit. he just loves tangling his hand in your ponytail and thrusting into your throat. you love feeling his legs tremble when you swallow him. and hes not above reciprocating. the kid will suck you dry. you wanna be a little brat alright this will change that attitude real quick. awe youre stressed out lemme make you sing. most of the time he eats you out before sex because he catches a glimpse of how wet you are and he just has to have a taste.

P = position (favorite position)

it may sound boring but missionary. he loves having you beneath him. the view is fantastic. he can watch himself sinking in and out of you. he loves the way your boobs bounce with his thrusts and he has perfect access to grab one or both. he can either drape himself over you chest to chest or he can sit up and roam his hands all over your thighs and hips. either way theres definitely nothing wrong with good ole missionary. he also loves to get ahold of your neck and pin you to the mattress. sometimes he will squeeze and sometimes not. its pretty good either way. he is very possessive of your body in the heat of the moment.

Q = quickie (what is a quickie like with him)

hot and messy and wild and rough and crazy and the best ever. he really gives it to you hard and fast in a quickie. he loves the way your body shudders from enduring his thrusts. the way you cant stop chanting his name. these occur in the car or in the shower most of the time. you need him right this minute and damn it hes gotta have you right now. it still shocks you how merciless he gets and youre suddenly aware just how much he holds back. and hell hath no fury like mark if he is interrupted. be prepared for him to fling something at whoever disturbs you both.

R = roleplay (favorite routines and tropes)

they change on a whim. it depends on what yall are in the mood for. though he does like to get his way more often than not and he knows how to push your buttons to get the desired outcome. a common trope is the playing hard to get. he likes when you make him work for it. he lives to tease and be teased. he really enjoys everything that leads up to the sex. hes actually a pretty good actor when it comes to dom or sub tropes. when hes in dom mode your body obeys his every command without a second thought.

S = seduction (how he gets you in the mood)

he knows how to finesse his way to some sexy time and he’s damn good at what he does. a little bit of that low deep voice does the trick. its unholy. the boy knows exactly how and when to get you worked up. he gets very vocal about what he wants. come on baby lets go play dont you wanna come for me i love watching you come and listening to you scream my name for all the neighbors.

T = teasing (what is the best way to arouse him)

flirt with him. get naughty. touch him lightly but intentionally. keep at it and get him all riled up. the most sure fire way to get him is to put on some lingerie and give him a lapdance or something like that. if hes playing games and pretending to ignore you put on something skimpy or racy and sit right in his lap. also tap into his mark kink. kiss his neck and start sucking. he will melt into a puddle in your hands.

U = underwear (lingerie and costumes)

will buy you lingerie he likes without hesitation. baby please wear this for me. he dies for how good you look in lingerie. and holy crap does he have dozens upon dozens of pictures of you in his phone in these outfits. lingerie is probably one of his biggest weaknesses. meanwhile he always prefers to be naked. if company aint coming around you can guarantee he will walk around the house naked as the day he was born. the kid is hot blooded and hates wearing clothes.

V = verdict (what do you think of your sex life with him)

sometimes you catch yourself blushing as you think about the sex with mark. its good. so so good. the two of you feed off of and into each other. after a while youre in sync with each others desires and needs. you can tell when he needs stress relief. he can tell when you need reassurance. its like he can read your body fluently. he gives you some of the most intense orgasms and holds you afterward like youre all hes ever wanted in his life.

W = words (how vocal is he and dirty talk)

his dirty talk is next level and im not exaggerating. he a whole fuckboy and he knows how lethal his deep voice is. expect him to make it even lower and to say the nastiest things. remember hes shameless and not much is off limits except things he knows you dont like. he keeps it going during sex too. loves whispering in your ear when he takes you. when hes subbing for you he makes sure to be extra vocal and does not hold back. as a dom he goads you and gets even more explicit.

X = x-rated (how does he feel about porn or sextapes)

oh yall have definitely made a few videos. hes gotta have stuff to watch at night when hes on tour and youre on the other side of the globe. he prefers photos of you but he does have a couple vids that are his absolute favorite. he watches porn occasionally and he doesnt care if you do too. yall have watched porn together no big deal. yall pretty much get each other horny enough you dont need any porn for that lol

Y = yawn (what is he like after sex)

sleepy and cuddly. he turns into such a snuggle bug. it taps into that need he has for your skin against his. you become his personal pillow after sex. he smushes his face against your breasts. he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you flush against him. just cuddle the shit out of him. he needs and wants it so badly. as you both come down he really covers you in kisses. will lick every sweat droplet off of your skin. damn youre so beautiful and feel so amazing he just cant stand it.

Z = zodiac (what his sign says about him in bed)

oh the Virgo. greedy but needy. they want their wishes fulfilled but they also want to be good to you. its a steady balance. sometimes he gets a little too self centered and will pull your strings to get his way but he loves you so much that he will always make it up to you. he wants this relationship to last forever and ever and is therefore willing to bend over backwards to make you happy but he expects the same in return. this boy will never stick around for a one-sided love. match his effort or hes gone.

{ copyright 2018-2020 © ahgaseda // masterlist }

[inspiringwhilerespiring]

Get to know me?

Yoooo - yall remember Myspace, and people would blog survey posts lol. Well thats me, I’m people. And I just wanna write my lil heart out and avoid all of my real life responsibilities. So found a lil questionnaire thing and I’m gonna fill it out. Also lowkey like doing this every so often so I can look back on it and reflect and see how much I may have grown/changed/shifted viewzzz ya feel? :) 

Sooo here yall go <3 

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

My neice maybe?

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

People who know me would tell me to put outgoing, but I honestly feel shy on the inside, so it just depends.

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

Literally anyone lmao fuck this quarantine

4. Are you easy to get along with?

Definitely

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

Lets hope so

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

Kind souls <3 always notice how they talk to their friends and family, but even people they don’t know like servers or janitors, etc. that shit matters heavy.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

Probably not

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

A few homies

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Nah not really, just depends

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Not sure -it’s been a min since I had a “deep” connection or convo that I can remember - but was probably with my bestie R’Bo

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“Google that shit” lmao me, giving advice to my friends

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

TOUGH!!!! After Hours by The Weeknd is up there, Cayendo by Frank Ocean (been jamming his shit HAARD lately) and Inside Friend by Leon Bridges & John Mayer….but also been listening to albums - like Childish’s new album, Floreyyy for lo-fi shit, and also got into 070 Shake recently just to name a few.

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

FUCK YA

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Yeah budddyy

15. What good thing happened this summer?

Idk, my bday party was lit?? And lots of river floats happened

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Lol

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

Cant deny that there isn’t so yaaa

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

No

19. Do you like bubble baths?

Yes

20. Do you like your neighbors?

Just moved, so don’t know em

21. What are you bad habits?

Procrastination lol and biting my nails

22. Where would you like to travel?

Literally ANNNYY-fuckin-WHERE!

23. Do you have trust issues?

Hmm I wanna say generally no, but I also always keep it one hunnnid with myself, and as much as I’d like to say I don’t have any - I think I def have insecurities with myself, that have the potential to become “trust issues” in certain relationships, but overall no. I live by the whole “you have my trust til you fuck it up” mantra

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Coffee in the morning lately, missed it and forgot how energized it makes me - gives me time to wake up and reflect/set daily goals

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

Stomach forever :((((

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Scroll on my phone, pee usually, or feed my cat lol

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

Tanner maybe?

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My mom or my best friend R’Bonney - but any of my close friends and fam honestly

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

Not directly

30. Do you ever want to get married?

Lol ok, so this is always changing…but lately (and by lately I mean the past few years) its been a no. I’m open minded though and am aware that I’m always changing my mind sooo who knows

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

yeppperoo

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Honestly, those aren’t my “thing” lollike id prob laugh or be awkward or just have to be hellllla drunk - but like I wouldn’t mind Jason Momoa and Tom Hardy tossin me around

33. Spell your name with your chin.

hjaylkee

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

Scocer back in the day - actually went and kicked it like a week ago for the first time in YEARSSSS - felt so damn good

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

TV, music forreeevverrr

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Lol story of my life

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

“Soooo” then probably ask a question or some shit lol

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Hmmm…definitely have to be funny/have a good sense of humor. They’d have to be open-minded for sure. Up for trying new things, places, cultures, food, music, etc. Just have an adventurous spirit I guess when it comes to that. Have a good line of communication/openness - and just be able to have a deep/intellectual convo about anything and everything. Bonuses: taller than me, likes cooking, and going to music shows.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

Amazon lol I hate shopping

40. What do you want to do after high school?

To go back to high school :( lmao so much id re-do, cant believe its almost been a decade

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Hell yeah, this is life my dudes, dont take it so seriously - we all fuck up at some point or another

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

Something is on my mind for sure, or im just tired lol

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Yeah

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

DAMNNN WHAT so hard - I guesss if I had to pick, space…just because it’s more rare/harder to do I’d think.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

My cat lol with his meowing ass

46. What are you paranoid about?

Lowkey a lot lol

47. Have you ever been high?

8)

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Who hasn’t????

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

naw

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Black probably, like half my wardrobe

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Of course

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

My bad habits

56. Favourite colour?

Yelllllow :)

57. Favourite food?

Oh gaaawwd, literally anything - lately: PB&J’s, fries, wings, Mediterranean, Mexican, pickles, ice cream, ramenzzzz

58. Last thing you ate?

Pistachios

59. First thing you ate this morning?

Cofffeeee w creamer

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Idk, not off the top of my head - maybe something back in elementary

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

Nah

62. Been arrested? For what?

Yeah lmao

63. Ever been in love?

Yes

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

No its really not that interesting and idc to type it out

65. Are you hungry right now?

24/7/365

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

Lol yes a few of them <333

67. Facebook or Twitter?

FB

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

Noooo

70. Names of your bestfriends?

R’Bonney is number 1

71. Craving something? What?

Foooood, and companionship? Lol

72. What colour are your towels?

Idk, random, mostly blue

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

A lot lol

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

Lol no, but I have my one from my childhood in my room

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

1 - shout out to you Mr.Fluffy

75. Favourite animal?

I am fascinated by sharks; and like gators/crocs. But I have mad respect for elephants, they’re sooo damn smart and beautiful.

76. What colour is your underwear?

Dont have any on

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

BITCHHHH CHOC

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

All of them

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Tie-dye

80. What colour pants?

none

81. Favourite tv show?

Game of Thrones prob

82. Favourite movie?

Avatar or Shawshank Redemption

87. First person you talked to today?

Sissy

88. Last person you talked to today?

Friend on FT

89. Name a person you hate?

No one, maybe Trump? lol

90. Name a person you love?

Everyone, fr fr

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

Nah

92. In a fight with someone?

Nah

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

Not enough <3

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

Not enough <3

95. Last movie you watched?

The Decline on Netflix, short lil foreign oil, was deep/interesting

96. Favourite actress?

Not sure-Sandra Bullock? Or Meryl

97. Favourite actor?

Denzel or Morgan Freeman

98. Do you tan a lot?

Nah not anymore honestly

99. Have any pets?

Yessss

100. How are you feeling?

Mediocre

101. Do you type fast?

Ya

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Im sure

103. Can you spell well?

Ya

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Lol im nostalgic af, so yes

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Yes litttty tittyyy

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Probably :(

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Hell yeah brother, I’m from TX

108. What should you be doing?

So much shit lol

109. Is something irritating you right now?

The fact that I ain’t doing all the shit I should be lol

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Yooo yes

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

Prob my sister or my mom?? Lol I cry a lot, idk and idc

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Hayls?

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yes

115. Do you play the Wii?

Back in the day

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Surprisingly, no

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Nah, unless maybe if its homemade

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Yeah occasionally, more of a Thai food chick or Japanese

119. Favourite book?

Kite Runner

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

Low-key sometimes lol

121. Are you mean?

Hell noooo

122. Is cheating ever okay?

Ok, this is an interesting one lol I mean no, it’s not “okay” - since it usually constitutes lying/hiding/hurting someone - BUTTTT, for a lack of a better term - I wanna say it’s “normal”? But thats because I, personally, am on the fence about the concept of monogamy. Like no, I’ve never cheated nor experienced that in return - but the whole concept of monogamy and like that a person can love and only love or be with one person is WILLLLDDD and I can’t help but note that its a social construct that we, as a society, are conditioned to from the time we are born. Idk if that makes sense bc im high af lol but those are my thoughts…like to sum it up - cheating is fucked up and sucks, but at the same time its not all that surprising/shocking anymore, like borderline “normalized” just as divorces are and shit, so I feel like bc biologically we aren’t made to be with one person lol. I don’t condone it tho. Thanks for coming to my TedTalk.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

Hell to the naw naw

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Hmmm idk about that one, but also can’t deny it

125. Do you believe in true love?

Yeah of course, you’re talking to a hopeless romantic

126. Are you currently bored?

I guess we could say that

127. What makes you happy?

Food and close, loved ones

128. Would you change your name?

Nah, too much paper work

129. What your zodiac sign?

Cancer, with my lil moody, sensitive ass

130. Do you like subway?

I did lol

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Story of my mf life lol literally all my exes are “best friends turned lovers” situation, so guess it would just depend lmao

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

Lol oh godddd; ok off the top of my head - Tupac - Keep Ya Head Up is what comes to mind; just a timeless song and the lyrics are still relevant/apply to this day and idk just really resonate with the message behind that song <3

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

Idk, but it was probably SO dumb, and told to my parents lol

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Either or, lately open so my cat can go in and out lol

137. How tall are you?

5’6 mayyybeee 5’5 actually lol

140. Summer or Winter?

Fall!!

141. Night or Day?

Def a lil night owl, always have been

142. Favourite month?

April and October for weather at least

143. Are you a vegetarian?

No but I try, and go through phases, I’m definitely mindful the older I get and more focused on my health I become

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

FUCKIN ALLLLL

145. Tea or Coffee?

Coffee but I like tea too, just seem to drink coffee more regularly

146. Was today a good day?

The grateful-to-just-be-alive in me wants to say yes lol but idk, felt off/unaccomplished and cried a lot, so no.

147. Mars or Snickers?

Snickers

148. What’s your favourite quote?

“This too shall pass”

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

Sure why not

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“After all, what he had always wanted was just that: to know new places.” -The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho

[kingjasnah]

Star Trek TOS

literally i post abt tos so much theres no way anyone who’s looked at my blog for more than five seconds doesnt know all this

Favorite character: i literally love spock so much its not even funny like thats it its just spock with his eyeshadow pushed up to the brow bone and the fact that there cannot be a small furry creature on screen without him picking it up and holding it and the inherent dry bitchiness of it all...... :_;

Second favorite character: uhura probably. we genuinely genuinely stan. somehow she’s gayer than spock dont ask me how.

Least favorite character: i’ll take a cop out and use a minor character but i cant believe they gave riley TWO EPISODES....two REALLY GOOD episodes...the lear/hamlet one was iconic

The character I’m most like: oh probably christine but like. if her being a spock girl was more of a wlw/mlm solidarity thing. also we love miss majel in this house and i think i too would try and make soup for friends who are ill :(

Favorite pairing: k/s is a universally accepted truth but triumvirate deserves a shout out here.

Least favorite pairing: hmmm spock/a woman i guess what was up with that. im not counting that romulan captain cause i love her. still havent seen aos so seriously yall what the fuck is up with spock/uhura.

Favorite moment: probably any amount of bones & spock interaction because its literally always good. actually most things bones says in general (mint julep). like i want to say its the one with the roman planet where bones is like ‘you dont HAVE feelings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 aaaaaa!!!!’ and spock is like ‘You Dont Know Me Bitch’ and bones is like ‘oh shit. yeah im worried abt jim too’ wtf WAS that. but also there was that bit in (was it called eye of the beholder??) the one where spock mind melds with an ambassador so hes like quoting love poetry at uhura and bones it like ‘thats not spock!’ and when spock says something bitchy to him back he’s like ‘thats spock!!!’.

but literally any interaction with them. any one. bones keeps accidentally caring a lot about spock (’do not pursue me further captain’/’shut up spock we’re rescuing you’/’......ok CAPTAIN mccoy) and its really nice to watch all the time. honorable mention cause its not tos technically but all the k/s/b interactions from star trek 5.

Rating out of 10: NOTHING gets better than this 10/10 lads

[shattered-catalyst]

So this  isnt for anything other than just to say what happened just so I feel heard and I can explain why I cant be as energetic and socially active on here. Its not a callout post or to be reblogged/shared by people. Its not to get anyone in trouble or to cause any reaction. It’s just for me to let it out and reclaim this space again. Its been a year since it happened and I guess I’m just still noticing how badly it has impacted my PTSD. How much its changed me as a person both online and off, and this isnt a woe as me thing either this is just me feeling a need to be heard and explain my own behavior over the year and also to make one simple request of you guys: no matter what you do, always treat your rp partners as people first and writers second.

Because I feel myself becoming bitter and that isnt who I am and I dont want to be someone like that. Or like this. I want to be me again

The person who did this wont be named mainly because they dont deserve it and yall dont need to know. Their behavior when I confronted them more than cements the impression that they dont see any harm in what they said and how they reacted. And again this isnt about them though In A Way I suppose it is? it takes two to tango but it takes one to encourage someone to kill themselves.

This is going to be long because I need to inform on the activity that lead up to this  because it didnt just happen over night- though in a way it did. But you need a better picture of this person because apparently they present a really great face that only a few of us see the manipulative and toxic side of.

This person was always very judgemental and hyper critical. I witnessed a lot of very negative and toxic behavior from them but I was naive and just hoped they would mature as they grew older and gained more independence. I thought it was just a toxic friend group and that perhaps she would recognize her self destructive and immature behavior and grow from it. 

My first red flag should have been when they accused me of being their ex girlfriend SOLELY because I was living in PA. I hate to break it to yall, but PA is a big ass state and has a lot of comic book loving ladies. Thankfully I have never met this person IRL and I hope I never do.

They tried to pull me into making fun of other muns on discord, including mocking sensitive pictures from a mun’s personal blog. I blatantly said it wasnt okay and made me uncomfortable and she continued laughing and making jokes about it with her friend group on discord. She kept trying to pull me into it no matter how often I tried to change the subject.

Her group of friends also did this thing where one of them would go interact with a mun an they would take screenshots of the convo and share it with the group and mock the mun they were interacting with. Whether it be their presentation of character/grahics/writing style/ etc.

The other red flags I ignored? How much she complained and mocked other muns and compared them to me; if anyone did anything or said anything she disagreed with it was an instant blow up. She took EVERYTHING personally including other people writing the same characters she did, having differing headcanons, not knowng obscure details about canon, etc.

She once tried to make fun of a new writing partner I had who was writing the same character, and I had to break it to her that this new person could write in her first language if she wanted to; im being very vague but let me just say if you and your character have the same first language and you want to write in it then its completely WRONG for a white mun to try and make fun of you for it.

She once suggested I had stolen pictures off her pinterest when she sent me a moodboard request for my character. Jokes on her I didnt even know she HAD a pinterest and I had gotten all my pictures from the ‘green aesthetic’ tag on tumblr. Which I told her but she kept pushing the idea on me I had stolen them. I of course dismissed this and put it on the back burner despite the alarm bells going off.

This hyper critical and paranoid behavior continues with everything from other canon blogs making similar head canons/ vaguely similar graphics/ to fanfiction authors having similar head canons/plot ideas.

My penname Citrus? I didnt want one. I didnt want it. She demanded I have a pen name and if not she was going to call me Cat. Now as yall know I dont like being enmeshed with my muse so I keep myself separate from them. I didnt like being called Cat and I told her that explicitly. She kept doing it. So I had to make a pen name because she refused to respect my boundaries.

When the Deadpool movie came out she DEMANDED I change my FC to reflect the movie Despite Not Changing Hers to reflect her own characters new look - which might i add is fat erasure. It was clear then that the rules and standards she held other people to didnt apply to herself. I was labeled problematic for not giving into her demands to change FCs (which I have a literal logical reason for not changing and im not explaining that here)

So I shouldve left. Long story short I didnt because every friendship I’d been in until around this time had been abusive and toxic. I thought this was all normal behavior for people to have and I was convinced I was just being critical of someone elses opinions/ insensitive etc. Thanks to my colleagues in graduate school and to several of you on here I learned that ‘hey dumbass friends dont treat your ass like this’.

Im leaving a lot out about the shit she did/said to me but those snippets give you an idea of things.

Leading up she decided to leave fandom and asked we didnt talk about marvel I said cool okay and didnt talk about marvel with her. If I did I would ask first if she was okay if we talked about one small aspect I thought might excite her/ she would like to know about but it wasnt often that happened because she began ghosting me. Hard. She stopped replying to me at all over discord when I would try and talk to her how we used to about our lives. She didnt answer any asks for munday or character development, in fact she blatantly ignored me.

I checked in a couple times with her to make sure I hadnt done anything to make her uncomfortable and she said no. May I emphasize she said no here. Im emphasizing it right now. She said no. She said everything was fine. So when I was like hey dude this is super triggering for me can you send me like a hi every once in awhile just so I can know we’re okay because its super triggering for me. Yall know what she did? She ‘lmao’-ed. she thought that was hecka funny. Yeah triggering ‘Citrus’ is hilarious isnt it? No it isnt and I shouldve cut her ass off right then and there.

Heres where shit gets confusing: she kept fucking talking about marvel to me. Id get messages at random times about marvel and then silence for weeks. I vividly remember during this period I was cleaning the museum vault and she kept messaging me about her marvel fc’s and how she wouldnt get a plotline and how characters were wrong etc.

I remember being REALLY confused because she had said NO MARVEL. But here she was bitching at me about marvel. In fact thats all she did when she did talk to me. Which was only like three or four times during the ghosting time period. She’d bitch about marvel and then vanish.

Shed make claims about not watching her dash and thats why she never responded to me/ interacted with me. She’d say she wasnt talkng to anyone while I see her on the dash TALKING TO PEOPLE and Id like to point out Ive told her I would be fine ending anything as long as she let me know.

but she followed me on every blog and throughout this time period she made and followed me on numerous ones. She kept reaching out sporadically to bitch about her fcs/how horrible marvel was/ and thats it. 

It was extremely confusing because if someone doesnt want to talk to me I assume they will; 1. unfollow 2. block 3. say goodbye 4. ghost and stay ghosted.

Not cycle through behavior rapidly. I asked her a few times if we were good and that I was confused and I got another ‘lmao’ reaction so I assumed we were good. At this point I still have no idea what was going on/ what message I was supposed to be receiving other than confusion.

So following this is heavily suicide tw and I encourage you not to read this part and to scroll down until the suicide tw is over which is highlighted in bold- if you’re triggered by that because I care about those who follow my blog.

So thats when this shit happened. I had tried reaching out to her on a different fandom platform to try and maintain the friendship. Because she said numerous times that we were friends. So like I reached out thinking maybe she just didnt want a marvel blog period.  It wasnt too long after that that she suicide baited me.

I was in a really bad place and had been for awhile and when I posted about how the only thing holding me on was the new comic coming out and specifically said “im seriously suicidal and this comic is the only thing giving me hope #idk what to do anymore ”. I was surprised when she liked the post.

I was three steps into a four step plan. I had everything but the method planned out and was just waffling along with that. Because yknow its complicated and you do it you make it count amiright. Right. I was in a fucked up place. I had just realized I was gay, I was horrendously depressed, I was in considerable physical pain, I was working 70 hours a week, my OCD was at an all time high and the only thing that kept me on this earth was a fucking comic book. You hold onto what you need to yknow?

WELL APPARENTLY NOT

Because this person who doesnt read her dash? This person who doesnt want to talk about anything? Liked that post where I specifically stated I was suicidal and sent me a discord message saying “dont have hope”.

Thats all it said “dont have hope”

Now I know what youre thinking but hold on because it gets worse.

I said something about being confused I dont really remember because I was pretty out of it. I do remember she kept going on about how horrible the comic would be and that it would be a piece of trash. I remember telling her I was really numb and in a bad place and couldnt feel anything. I remember her sending me screencaps and continuing to go ON AND ON about how it wasn’t worth reading.

I remember with gross intensity how someone who said they were my friend was taking away the only thing that was keeping me alive.

I dont remember how the conversation ends. I called out of work for the next three days. I was catatonically depressed and unable to really move. I didnt eat either. I went to internship, work, and school in a state of dissociation.

 I took screencaps of everything and set them aside for later. IDK what I was going to use them for but I set them in a folder on my desktop, looking back I regret what I did next; because I deleted them. I deleted them because I thought maybe she had been manic or drunk and hadn’t realized the scope of what was happening. I wanted to talk to her about it and clear things up because I believed in her. I believed there was no way she would be so callous as to do that on purpose. No way would someone try and get someone they called a friend to kill themselves. So I deleted the screencaps and my post on tumblr. I deleted all evidence to protect her and I encourage you all never to fucking do that even if you think that person misunderstood the gravity of your situation. Because if you’re wrong no ones going to believe you.

I remember shifting between intense depression and total denial.

I spent the rest of that month in and out of intense dissociative states when I wasnt in class or working with my clients.  During the middle of October my sister sent me pictures of a litter of puppies and I was like ‘well, i really need to either kill myself or make sure i dont’. I spent a few days continuing to waffle with that decision but then i remembered my mom cosigned my loans and I cant leave her with that debt because fuck we cant even afford my funeral to begin with. So I adopted a dog, I named him Julio to remind me to keep living and he finally came to me on halloween.

He was the only reason I left bed on my days off. I tried not to think about it but I did.  

I continued to spiral with heavier dissociative episodes and vivid nightmares about it.

SUICIDE TW OVER

I waited until Christmas to ask her to clarify the situation and let her know I no longer felt comfortable writing with her. I reminded her what happened and told her to check her discord if she wanted to see for herself etc.

She sent two long asks of combative, emotionally abusive, and gaslighting accusations. The first thing she did was say I needed to provide evidence if I went around making accusations like that. Then she cascaded into how I always talked about marvel *points up to where i explained what happened earlier*.  She tried gaslighting me like a champion and tried turning me into a horrible person the only problem is everything she was accusing me of doing was the shit she was doing to me. Everything. 

Even if I was bad at any time I had given her numerous chances to tell me I was overstepping a boundary- she always said no. I gave her numerous times to unfollow me if she wasnt interested in interacting with me- she never did. In fact I had unfollowed her that month because of her behavior towards me and she hadnt even noticed.

I let her know I could tell she was angry,  and that I didnt take receipts of private conversations because I believed in settling things like adults, and that if she ever wanted any proof it was all in her discord anyway. I let her know she could contact me to apologize but otherwise I didnt want her on any of my blogs and I told her the first thing she should have done wasnt demand receipts but she should have asked if I was okay. Its a real reflection of where her priorities were when she demands evidence rather than checks to see if a writing partner is okay.

Even if I did something horrible it doesnt warrant someone trying to get me to end my life. 

I was notified she put a post on her blog apologizing to her followers for being a bad friend and that she was a horrible person and ofc everyone was like ‘noooo youre perfect’ and its like ya thats not for me who hasnt followed her in months- thats to save face.

Her friends blogs kept visiting my profile and going through the month where this happened.

Everything she did and said was to save face. Her blog and her reputation are the only thing she cared about. She has never approached me to apologize or anything of the sort and I doubt she ever will. I would hope she would never do this again and I hope she has grown as a person since. That her life is better and her mother is okay, that shes happy and learning. 

 I know by posting this I will never receive an apology- then again i never expected one to begin with. I could go through all the trouble of restoring the deleted files but to be honest it isnt worth it because theres no room in my life for that type of toxicity.

Since this happened I:

I have stronger episodes of depression and dissociation since.

My PTSD has increased and I have week long spikes in anxiety attacks, depression and decreased self worth if I even see her around the rpc despite being blocked, blacklisted on xkit etc.

Have more difficulty completing basic self care tasks due to an increase in depression and a decrease in self worth.

I have nightmares about this event and her to this day a year later.

I cannot interact with the RPC how I once did as I fear seeing her on my dash or any sort of information getting back to her about me.

It took me half a year to see the character she wrote as as safe again and for awhile I couldnt even look at him without experiencing an anxiety attack.

I keep having nightmares. Its been a year and I still have nightmares about this.

I find myself having more difficulties connecting with people online especially on this blog. I’m constantly on edge when interacting with people and I feel spikes of anxiety at the merest thought of someone talking about me to her.

I find myself unable to have confidence as a writer or creator online because I have been reminder of the cement wall between oc characters and their canon counterparts.

I cannot go out and just follow anyone and be friendly and trusting with them anymore, even with people I already know. In the back of my mind is a constant reminder of how she and her friends used to check up on people and pretend to write with them/ interact with them just to take screenshots of conversations to share with the group. I have become a paranoid little bitch in the past year is what Im saying. like theres 0 need for that shit.

I blocked most of the people she interacted with simply to save myself from being triggered by her blogs/ mentions of her and that isnt fair to those people.

I remember the photo incident and how people derived such joy from mocking someones body. I can think of so many incidents of them making fun of others and I remember how that could be happening about me rn, and I wonder if anyone would stick up for me like I did for the other mun.

 I hope by posting this I can try and return to the person I was before this happened. I can try and not be so bitter and reach out again to others. That somehow I can continue working on making tumblr a safe place for me again and not a PTSD laced minefield.

I would like to remind this isnt a callout and I request if you know who this is about you dont say anything to them. This isnt for them. They have NEVER reached out to apologize for their actions. They have NEVER checked to see if I was okay after that. They have NEVER shown any remorse for encouraging me to kill myself and while I hope they’ve grown from the situation and will never do it again I doubt I will ever get closure from such an event. But i DO hope by writing this I can take this place back.

Consider this my first step towards bringing this up to a therapist.

 Consider this another step to me taking this blog back and feeling safer here; and maybe just maybe Ill make up a cool pen name for myself and own that shit.

If you’ve read this far thank you for your patience with me, and I request you always treat your writing partners like the people that they are. 

This post is not intended or written to leave this blog and therefore I request you not reblog it or share segments of it with ANYONE. If I find you have shared anything on here without my explicit permission I will block you.

‘Citrus’

[bonelessice]

So. Some facts about my life as of right now and why i really insist on selling art to get out of this situation:

I am slapped around pretty regularly when things go wrong. Into stuff, in the face, only when i disagree, disappoint, or try to defend myself. this happens to me a lot during seizures to since i get upset and can move for a second trying to power through them.

When im not getting slapped im shoved against walls and yelled at, nose to nose and at risk of again getting hit. During these times its best i just stand down and let myself be forced to follow whatever orders im given even if its working a job unpaid that my mother doesn't feel like doing even though she signed up for it.

the rest is under the cut since this is getting long.

I have been threatened with extreme violence. A conversation that stands out is my mother, after i decided i would rather give her money than keep it for myself she told me "you say that one more time, I'm stopping the car and pulling you out by the hair and kicking your ass, stomping your face on the sidewalk." this was from me trying to be nice.

I am unable to spend time with a male friend without her seriously insinuating i should marry him (he's made it clear he likes me.) and even after having a big sobbing breakdown telling her how disgusting it feels as to be accused of doing indecent things like that bc of my genophobia and her threats to put me on birth control just for speaking to him she still wont stop.

Has openly admitted to hating my cat and abuses him by scare tactics of screaming, hitting him with fly swatters, and just being an asshole.

Knows all the symptoms of my depression/adhd/seizures and still treats me like shit when they manifest. since my seizures are nonepileptic theyre triggered mostly by stress. so i have a lot of those. 

Complains about how much of a burden i am to her, how much money is going in to trying to get me a job, taking care of me, ect. about how frustrating it is, knowing i cant do anything about it since. Surprise. I cant pay until i have the job. the thing is, its not like im not activly trying to get a job. I am. like she will literally complain about this on the way to the office for a job im 100% going to get if i can just get medical work done. so pretty much yelling at me for fucking nothing. Something that will be solved as soon as im working but she has to hurt me by making me feel useless.

Is VIOLENTLY lgbtphobic. Treats people and my bisexual cousin like shit because of it. I fear for my safety if i ever came out as anything but what she knows me to be, which is straight. this is not true.

Has abused her recent boyfriend, a 70+ year old man. Hit him in the face with a glass knowing he was weak from a recent injury. and has done plenty of other verbally and emotionally abuisive stuff to him. Has also joked about the previous animals she abused as if it wasnt entirely fucked up. for example she talked happily and fondly about the time she tied one of her old dogs to a tree in the middle of the woods in the country bc she didnt want him anymore and thought it was so funny. Just generally doesnt feel like a safe person to be around if they can see that as anything but fucked up.

And the list goes on but those are basics. I really am at my limit here and i want to make money to move to virginia to live with my father's side of the family and be free from this. My goal is enough money for me and my cousin whos also facing this abuse to be able to taxi to work for a bit until we start getting paychecks when my dad has no time to drive us when we move out. id also like to you know. start saving up for my own place so anything you give will help get us out of here.

now heres some art examples, my commission page:

i think its very cheap, people tell me that. also this is an old page and i plan on updating some of the art up here soon but this is a pretty accurate rep of my work i think. so if you want to be kind and pay more or something, i accept money thru cash app. if that doesnt work for you come talk to me, actually if you want anything come talk to me. im also thinking of making a kofi so i will keep yall posted.

[radiofmv]

Stay

Genre: (Mafia!AU) Angst/Fluff

Word Count: 1629

A/N: Requests are open yall. Also lemme know what yall think of this 

You had always known that things would end up like this and the current situation was nothing but a strong punch of reality to your face. Yet, no matter what happened nothing could change the fact that you still whole heartedly loved the man in front of you. With thousands of cuts across his face and multiple wounds and bruises littering his body, with the endless months that he had left you alone in your home, you still couldn’t bring yourself to turn away from him.

You had been drawn in by Baekhyun’s child-like innocent face when you first saw him at the bookfair looking at the same novel that you had been intending to buy. You had simply walked up to him and sparked a conversation about your seemingly similar taste in literature. He had been more than surprised to see someone even try and talk to him. To Baekhyun, your sparkling eyes as you spoke about the book in hand was all it took. A few minutes of simple conversation and he found himself lost in the words you spoke. He was never one to believe in love, let alone love at first sight. But something about you was, different.

Back then you hadn’t known that the same innocent face held the darkness that creeped up at nights. You had only wanted to get to know the handsome stranger more. That urge to know more led to multiple dates and those multiple dates led to multiple months of being together that eventually turned into a year of the two of you not being able to get enough of each other.

It was then that Baekhyun realised that he was too far in to this relationship. He had to let you know now or it was you finding out on your own. The thing was, you had figured out that he was hiding something from you by this point. Him not contacting you for days on end, always avoiding the topic of his job, who his close friends were or even his family. So when he finally broke the news to you, you weren’t exactly surprised. A little taken aback though that he was a part of the most notorious mafia in the whole country. But you decided to stick through regardless. You loved him enough to stay by his side and he could not have been more happier. He thought he was the most blessed person on the whole planet to have someone as beautiful and smart as you to still be beside him after knowing his truth and he promised that he would always keep you safe and away from any harm.

This is exactly what was going through his head now that he was staring at your small form. Standing in front of him, tears in your angry eyes staring straight at him. You could tell he was upset with himself for having left you without any explanation almost two years into your relationship but he just stood there at the door sheepishly looking at his feet to avoid your gaze.

“You better have a good enough reason for disappearing and leaving me all alone”, you said as you moved from the door and into the living room, giving an indication for him to move inside the house as well.

He stepped into the living room, sitting on the sofa, as he saw you getting the first aid kit to tend to his cuts and wounds.

“Look, y/n, I know that you’re upset. And you have full right to be”, he began speaking when you interrupted him, “Damn right I’m upset.”

“You left me here for weeks with absolutely no explanation, no prior text, no nothing. Did you seriously expect me to welcome you back into this house with the biggest smile on my face?” You were beginning to get even more worked up at the situation and the fact that he was just sitting there with a blank expression on his face, not even attempting to explain himself.

You slowly sat down in front on him on the floor to try and patch up the cuts on his face. As you started to clean up the blood near his lips, you spoke up again, “Do you have any idea how hard it has been for me to just sit here and wait for you to come back?”

“I didn’t even know if you were actually gonna come back. Do you have any idea how hard it is to live in constant fear of not knowing if the love of your life is gonna come back to you safe and sound?”, your voice began to rise a little the more you spoke. All the feelings you had kept inside you bursting out.

“y/n please hear me-”, Baekhyun began but you cut him off, “I feel like such an idiot just sitting at home and waiting. I hate that I cant do anything here. I get it that your job asks a lot of you in these ways but think about me a little.”

“You just fucking disappear for weeks and then suddenly turn up on my front door like this, bleeding and hurt and I cant take it Baekhyun.”, you were on the verge of tears again. Putting a band-aid  on the cut on his forehead, Baekhyun spoke again only to be cut off by you.

“Baby please just-”

“Baek it hurts me so much seeing you get hurt like this. Every time you step out of the door I don’t know if you’re gonna come back to me alive and it kills me. I can’t imagine living without you anymore and I seriously don’t think I’ll be able to bare the pain of you not being-”

“WOULD YOU STOP INTERRUPTING ME”, Baekhyun burst. He couldn’t take it anymore. You knew what you had been saying hit him hard. You stopped what you were doing, slowly taking your hand away from his face and down into your lap.

“I’m sorry okay. I’m sorry I left without telling you anything but you know damn well it was for your own safety. I don’t care what happens as long as you’re safe. I don’t want our enemies finding out the most precious thing to me and then taking it away from me. You keep me here. You’re the thing that keeps me from straying away, you’re the thing that keeps me from drowning in my own darkness. Can’t you see that I want you to be safe no matter what the cost? I love you too much to lose you.”, Baekhyun stopped for a second to look at your face. Gently placing his hand on your cheek only to have you leaning into his touch. Silent tears leaving your eyes at his words. You knew he was right, but that didn’t stop your heart from sinking to your stomach every time something like this happened.

“Baek, baby, I understand your wish to keep me safe, but what about you. I need you with me just as much as you need me with you. Please Baek”, your voice broke.

Baekhyun couldn’t help it either. Seeing you break down like this, be hurt like this, because of him. It hurt him more than anything. He slowly got off the sofa and sat down on the floor next to you. Both of you staring straight ahead at the wall, not knowing how to end this. You felt Baekhyun’s hand inch closer to yours until it was resting right on top of yours. Quietly intertwining your fingers together, he brought your hands up to his lips and kissed the back of it. All you could do was stare at him do it, all your previous anger melting away with the evening hues.

You don’t know how long you both sat there on the floor in silence just taking in each other’s presence. Baekhyun’s hand still holding yours while gently stroking his thumb as if to constantly remind you that he was there and everything would be alright.

He was the first one to break the silence, “I promise I’ll be more careful and more considerate…I can’t promise you that I won’t be hurt because that’s something that even I can’t have the surety of, but I promise you that no matter what happens I will always return back to you. Safe. Because I love you so damn much.”

You turned to look at him, noticing that it had grown dark outside. He didn’t have to say anything else for you to understand. You knew what it meant to be with him when he was a part of something as dangerous as the mafia. You knew you couldn’t always get your way and you knew that it hurt him just as much as it hurt you to be away from each other but that’s what made these moments spent together so much more special. You both cherished each other and were willing to put up with all the shit that the world threw at you to be happy together.

Baekhyun was looking at how you got lost again at his words, he knew he got through to you but he also knew how easy it was for your mind to overthink its way back to the worst possible outcomes of any situation. He brought his other hand up to your cheek and leaned forward a little only to stop right before his lips touched yours.

“I’d leave it all behind, for you. Just say so.”

And with that, tenderly, he pressed his lips against yours, stopping all and every thought that was running in your head.

He was here and he was going to stay. That’s all that mattered to you. 

[stevethehairington]

for yo character headcanons: our bois sam, steve and bucky ILY

thank youuuuu for the ask my dear! this is gonna be a fun one haha. ily tooo

character headcanons

Sam:

1. sexuality headcanon

i feel like sam could probably fall under the pansexual label; most of my ships for him are with females so it wasn’t until i got into the sam/riley ship that i really gave his sexuality a lot of thought. but yeah i adore sam being with riley and honestly the idea of him being with like steve or bucky too is good too, i could defs see him getting his flirt on with those two dorks. 

2. otp

this is. so hard. bc like. i can see sam with literally so many different people. like i love sam/riley, but i also really love sam/maria, and then sam/natasha is nice too, and really really oddly i thought of sam/becca today and like. at least in the fic i’m considering writing atm, it works really well so yeah. idk if i have a solid otp for sam. i guess i usually stick with either riley or maria though depending on the situation. 

3. brotp

oh man. literally the steve/sam brotp and the sam/bucky brotp and the sam/steve/bucky brotps give me so much life. all three of these losers are so good together they play off of each other so well theyre really the Dream Team.

i also really like sam and natasha’s friendship too, i’ve seen some fics get it really good.

4. notp

uhhh, there aren’t really any sam ships that just out to me as a Major No. i guess i’m not super into the idea of sam and clint being a thing? but like it doesn’t really bother me as a ship in general or anything.

5. first headcanon that pops into my head

okay in any fic i write in which it’s a no powers au (so like most of what i write lmao) i have this hc that sam is dubbed the bird whisperer in anyone’s phone. so he was at the park with steve or bucky or whoever he’s mainly friends with in the fic and while he was there he ended up doing something (not quite sure what, maybe i’ll figure that out and write about it one day who knows) and whatever he did brought all the birds to his yard and they l o v e d him, and some even followed him around a little, thus he was dubbed the bird whisperer. 

6. one way in which i relate to this character

i too would do anything for steve rogers. lmao no for real though, sam has a really good loyalty about him and he’s willing to do anything for his friends (i.e. take them in, fight with/for them, etc. etc.) and i like to think that those are qualities i have as well.

7. things that give me second hand embarrassment about this character

i honestly can’t think of anything rn?? like sam’s a p cool, suave dude, he hasn’t really done anything, at least in canon, that makes me super cringe in embarrassment.

8. cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

cinnamon roll for sure!

Steve:

1. sexuality headcanon

BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISEXUAL MY DUDE. listen there is no way n o w a y steve rogers is not a bisexual man. i mean, come on. have yall seen the movies? steve rogers is in love with bucky barnes, peggy carter, sam wilson, natasha romanoff, and the list probably goes on. no but for real, bucky is literally his life partner, the love of his entire fucking life. tws?? a romcom for fuckin sure. but he also really was in love with peggy carter in tfa, i mean who wouldn’t be she’s fuckin badass and hot af and just a kickass woman. i’m in love with her too steve. and then you cannot tell me he isn’t flirting with sam at the beginning of tws because he so is. and i bet while bucky was Gone he probably somehow got his hands on some of thor’s asguardian mead or whatever at some avengers party and he and nat drunkenly kissed a little just to see what it was like (yknow before she got with clint ofc). but seriously this boy is a Bisexual Disaster and we all know it. 

2. otp

is this even a question? obviously its stucky. they’re my reason for breathing tbh. no jk but i love them to death and listen you cannot tell me that they are not fucking soulmates okay? bc they are. they ARE. there is literally not a single heterosexual explanation for a n y t h i n g they do. the “keeping the uniform” bit in tfa? gay! the “shared experience” line? gay! breaking through 70+ years of brainwashing by reciting your wedding vows? gay! they are so in love it hurts!!

3. brotp

i have a lot of steve brotps tbh. i love the steve/natasha friendship so so sooo much. i really love how they did it in tws and i really just love the idea of them being close with each other like that. i also really love the steve/sam friendship ofc too. they play off of each other so well, and their flirty banter gives me lifeeee. i do like a good steve/tony friendship as well, and i like steve/wanda friendship too, i feel like they have a good relationship. 

4. notp

steve/sharon lmao. okay so like. i don’t exactly hate it, as in i don’t have a problem with the ship if it were done right. but bc it was so poorly done in the mcu i Do Not like it and i Do Not support. like the timing was horrible, it was all very no homo, the fact that she’s peggy’s niece and they flirt literally right after her funeral was in such poor taste and it makes me seriously uncomfortable, and also the way the mcu totally made sharon’s character nothing more than a love interest, and a really poorly done one too, just pisses me off bc she couldve been a really badass character if they wanted to make her one. so yeah. there’s just a lot of reasons why i Do Not like this ship. but it doesn’t like squick me or anything and i can tolerate it as like an old ship in fics, like she was steve’s ex before he met bucky or smth like that. 

5. first headcanon that pops into my head

6. one way in which i relate to this character

i too would wbecome a wanted government fugitive and fight anyone who got in the way for bucky barnes

7. things that give me second hand embarrassment about this character

again, i can’t really think of anything that gives me too much second hand embarrassment about steve… i guess maybe just the fact that he’s a disaster when it comes to his feelings for people can make me have to look away and shake my head at his dumbass antics lmao. 

8. cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

cinnamon role fo sho

Bucky:

1. sexuality headcanon

BIIIIIIIIIISEXUAL AS WELL MY DUDEEE. i could see bucky as straight up gay as well, but i like to stick with the bisexual label bc 1. im bisexual and i like to see my faves as bi too lmao and 2. i do think that he genuinely did like going out with girls back in the 40s and taking them dancing and shit. like he was definitely flirty and suave and good with the ladies but i dont think it was all for show. like i think he really did like those girls. ofc he loves steve though, like i said, soulmates! but yeah, my boy is defs bisexual too!

2. otp

again, obviously stucky, see above for my rantings and ramblings about why lmao.

3. brotp

i have a lot of brotps for bucky too lol. i fuckin love the banter between bucky/sam, like the mcu did that right! and i hope that their show can deliver more of this Good Content. they work so well, it’s that love/hate realtionship and i am Here For It. they secretly love each other as best friends despite what it may seem. i also really really really love the bucky/natasha friendship, like sign me the fuck up!! they would be the best of friends and i just. love this friendship so much. i also like the bucky/clint friendship too, i feel like these two dumbasses would get up to some good shit together lol. 

4. notp

hmmm, i guess i could say bucky/tony for this. like. i don’t know much about this ship and i dont read for it or anything so i really just dont like it bc i cant see them together romantically or anything. so like idk if i can call that a notp bc i dont hate it or anything, it’s just not my cup of tea.

5. first headcanon that pops into my head

this one is tried and true but it’s always the first bucky hc that pops into mind. bucky was drafted, he didn’t enlist on his own. he refuses to tell steve that though bc of how fucking scared he is about it and bc he knows how much steve wants it, he doesnt want steve to think hes ungrateful or doesnt care about his country or anything like that. so he hides his letter away somewhere he knows steve will never find it. 

steve only finds out when he finds bucky on the table in azzano reciting his number which evidently, gives up the fact that he was drafted. 

6. one way in which i relate to this character

i too would follow that little guy from brooklyn that was too dumb not to run away from a fight to the jaws of death klgsj. no but really, bucky doesnt like to fight, he doesnt. he never wanted to go to war in the first place, he’s not the one that starts the fights, only finishes steve’s when he can’t, and he’s tired of war and fighting and all that. and i think that that’s something i have in common with bucky, that i dont want to fight unless it’s the last resort. like i’d rather try to civally solve a problem than jump straight to the arguing and fighting bits yknow?

7. things that give me second hand embarrassment about this character

again, i can’t think of much that embarrasses me about bucky. he’s a p chill dude. 

8. cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

cinnamon roll and you can’t tell me otherwise.