#its sweet but there isnt much humor to it

[aeserathedreamer]

It turns out i did have more to my backlog, Idk why my eyes glazed over these but there here now

Well its more like three panels of the same meme

[luck-of-the-drawings]

[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]

saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.

[mochamadeleines]

Sweethearts and Sweet Dreams <3

“Nothin’?”

“Mhm.”

“Whats behind your back then?”

You sway in place, trying to suppress a knowing smile. “I dont have anything behind my back.” (6.4k words)

tags!! - 18+ modern au! Husband! Joel Miller, Wife! Reader, you guys are happy and in love!, mutual obsession if u squint, lots of exposition im so freaking sorry, pervert Joel if u squint, praise kink joel if you squint, dumbification if you squint, written for those with daddy issues lowkeeyyyyy, written with game joel in mind but could be hbo joel no problem!, lowk i combined the two in my mind, mentions of shy old man joel, housewife! reader (by choice), unspecified age gap but reader is like. thirty? and joels Like...55??, talk about joel taking medication for his anxiety, p in v sex, dirty talk, public sex, outdoor sex, joel has a kink for dresses because i said so? service top joel if you squint, pet names, a pinch of jealousy and possessiveness for fun, playful banter, mentions of maria and tommy and their baby with a made up name Lol, mentions of ellie and sarah (rip), mentions of readers past abusive relationships, talk about joel struggling with substance abuse/addiction and being hospitalized.....Im sure u can theorize why </3, lots of lore ill get into in another fic MAYBE *smirks*, flip flop in perspective, sometimes showing what joel is thinking or what reader is thinking blah blah

authors notes!! - hi there!!! im mocha and this is my first joel fic ever + my first fic posted to tumblr!! im really nervous cuz i havent written anything in months and ive never written joel before so please let me know if you like it!! id love to write more of this au for u guys if theres a demand for it...Thank u for reading!! also barely proof read im ngl. ive been staring at this fic all day im sick of itttt. p.s i dont usually write smut i also kinda do idfk Is this bad or am i tweaking

You step out of the house, morning sun soaking into the roots of your hair and the driveway beneath your feet. Theres a package youve been waiting for. 

You cant contain your grin as you wiggle it out of the hot prison that is your mailbox.

“What the hell are you doin’ out there barefoot?” Joel chastises you from the front door, leaning his elbow on the frame. Joel, your lovely husband of two years. Been together for five. And because of how hard he works, you have the privilege of being a stay at home wife. Some people think that sort of life is stifling, but youve never felt so free. No more jobs you hate, no more financial struggles. Just you, Joel, and your cat, Cement. He likes to pretend it isnt a totally hilarious name for a pet.

You were his first relationship in almost a decade, so it was a lot of work helping him unpack his anxieties about dating, and a lot of work for you to feel safe and unafraid. Honestly? Youve been mistreated by enough men to land you in the psychward.

But Joel never yells at you, he never breaks things when hes angry or threatens to hurt you. He might raise his voice every now and again, but its never because of something you did. Sometimes the stress of life is just too much. 

He works hard, he loves his daughter- daughters- and he would do anything to keep you happy. Whatever you say goes, he says. Even now, you hardly argue. Of course you have disagreements, or off days thatd lead to one of you being especially moody, but the both of you do your best to communicate.

Behind that rough exterior, is someone who just wants to be needed. 

You first met Joel at a youth center you volunteered at, he taught guitar, you taught arts and crafts. Joel says it was your smile and sense of humor that charmed him. It was his singing and southern accent for you.

Your favorite thing about Joel is how soft he gets around you. He says its because you make it easy to be soft. 

Joel was a shy lover at first. He would get nervous just kissing you, or holding your hand. While most people become intimate very early on in their relationship, you and Joel didnt do anything sexual for the first five months of you dated. Sure, you almost did, plenty of times, but he would get so overwhelmed and cut things short. You broke two of your vibrators during this era of your relationship. Embarassing.

You remember your first time very vividly. Joel had worked back to back doubles trying to meet a deadline, and on the final day, after having barely spoken to you for almost a week, you had shown up to his house, unannounced. You were wringing water out of your jacket when he swung the door open. 

“How-” Joel blinks a few times, stepping forward to examine the rainfall. “How long you been out here?”

“Not that long,” You lie and pick up the container you brought off the porch chair. Part of you had a hard time mustering up the courage to even knock on the door. Droplets of water cascade down your chin. “Hi, sorry. I know youre tired.”

He shakes his head, voice soft and warm. “S’fine. Now c’mon, youre gonna get sick.”

Youre seated at the little dining table next to the kitchen now, trying to let the sound of the rainfall ease your nerves.

Joel was quick to grab you a towel, and does the honors of drying your face and hair with it. “Why didnt you jus’ call me? Woulda gotten out of the shower faster if i knew you were gettin’ soaked out there like this.”

“I dunno, sorry.”

“An’ whatd i tell you about apologizin’ all the time?”

“Sor- Uh. Right. Okay.” You tighten your jaw. No more.

Joel moves behind you, now squeezing water out the ends of your hair. “Whas’ that?”

“Oh!-” You peel back the lid, showing it to him. “Old fashion cake donuts are your favorite right? I remember you saying you liked eating them with your coffee in the mornings so…I made these. Youve been working a lot lately and I wanted to do something nice for you.”

Joel gingerly grasps the container from your hands, looking into it. Theyre a warm golden brown, outside evenly fried, and the sweet scent of them hits his nose right away.

“I was just gonna leave them on the doorstep and call you to tell you they were there, but I wanted to see you.”

His adam's apple bobs as he swallows the dryness in his throat. Youre too good for him. 

“Thank you very much.” He presses a kiss to your damp hair. “Now, lets get you into some dry clothes.”

Joel gives you a t-shirt and a pair of his boxers to keep you modest while your clothes wash and dry. 

You wait patiently on his bed for the hot chocolate he promised you before you showered. Theres nothing to watch on the tv, so you just turn it off and reach for the lamp on his nightstand instead. 

He comes in quietly, and sets the mug down beside the lamp. You finally come into focus, clear as day even under the low lighting.

“You uh.. You look nice.”

You blink. “I look nice?”

“In my shirt.”

That gets a smile out of you. 

Joel tips his head towards the mug. “S’hot so, give it a few minutes. Dont want you burnin’ your mouth.”

You nod. “Okay.”

Hes sat beside you now and the two of you sit in silence for a while. Its not awkward, just the kind of silence where both of you want to say something but just.. Cant.

Joel unravels first. “Missed you, y’know. Just been tired.”

“I know.” Your voice wobbles, and Joels jaw tightens like hearing you sound so sad stings him. “I missed you, too.” 

He slides his hand over yours, giving it a squeeze. Its okay. 

“Hey Joel...Can I stay the night?” 

“Sure. Id really like that.”

While you drink your hot chocolate, you and Joel catch up. You both talk about work, and about your new found interest in baking. Joel teases you about your lack of cooking skills, you do the same. Youre both useless. 

When its time to climb into bed, neither of you can actually fall asleep. Joel rolls onto his side, away from you and the window. You follow, curling up like a little cat against his back. The sensation is nice for the both of you.

You speak up after a little while.

“Joel?”

“Mm.”

“Thank you for letting me stay.”

He scoffs, voice thick with exhaustion. “Like I'd force you to leave after you brought me such a nice present.”

You let out a little giggle, “So if i didnt, youd kick me out?”

“Id think ‘bout it.”

You gasp, gently shoving at his back. “Thats mean…!”

“S’really not.”

“Oh yeah? And what if I poisoned them?.”

“Then itd jus' be a regular day of your cookin’ then.” Joel reminds you, lighthearted. Too many times where you left the shells in your eggs or burnt toast or left the bacon on the pan for too long.

“You cant get mad at me for my dark past when you made a perfectly good sirloin taste like horse leather.”

“Ugh. Dont remind me. That was like putting a one-hundred dollar bill into a paper shredder. How do either of us stay alive again?”

“Uh. Digiorno?”

“Digiorno.”

After a few moments, Joels rolling over again, and hes guiding your head to settle against his chest. Your arms wrap around him, and his arms around you. 

“Joel,” You whisper. He hums. “Im cold.”

“S’cause youre not wearin’ any pants.”

“And whos fault is that?”

“Still yours.”

“I was left out in the rain like a sad, sopping wet cat. One that was left in a box all alone with no family…” You pretend to sniffle. “Dont you feel bad for me?”

Joel sighs, not saying anything more except making sure the part of the comforter behind your back is tucked into your side so the cold air doesnt get in. When hes done, you do a little shimmy up his body, and throw your leg over his hip. Oh no.

Hes alert now. Very alert. Be normal. Joel hesitates, licking the dryness off his lips. “Uh. Feel better?”

“Mhm.” You push your face into his throat, cat-like, before settling down again. Hes like a radiator.

Actually scratch that, he cant be normal. 

“Darlin’.” He rasps, patting your back to get your attention.

“Mm?”

“Your leg. Move it.”

A few beats pass. “Why?”

“Because…” Wow,  he didnt think hed get this far. You shift forward and Joel lets out a quiet exhale through his nose, one that couldve been masked by the rain if you werent so close.

“Are you-”

“No! No. Its- Its not what you think-” He cant see your face in the darkness but he knows you feel the semi-hard struggling through the confines of his pants. Lame.

“Joel,” You say, soft. Your hands slide up his arm to cradle his jaw. Lightning flashes into the room, giving you a glimpse of Joels tight expression. He whispers your name back, just as soft.

“This is normal.” 

Its normal, it is! Except for the fact that you guys havent had sex yet. The stress of being intimate is too much, kills his boner in a blink. The longer he waits the worse the anxiety gets.

“I-I know.”

You place a hand on his chest, feeling it pound away like crazy through all the soft muscle.  

“Youve been taking your medication, right?”

Has he?

The silence of him thinking is proof enough. “Joel-”

He sighs, rubbing his eyes through the darkness .“I know, I know. Shoot, Im sorry. I just forget sometimes.”

“Its okay.” The pad of your thumb strokes the tops of his cheek, and you press a tender kiss to his mouth to soothe him.  “...Want me to remind you?”

The softness of your lips has him a bit dazed. “Huh?”

“I said, do you want me to remind you? I can- You know, call you before you leave work. Make sure you take them.”

“You know I wake up at five-o-clock in the mornin’ , right?”

“I know.” 

In a whisper, “Okay.”

Joels rough palms trail down your back and stop at the curve of your butt, finger tips delicately tracing the skin above your shorts. You shiver.

Barely above a whisper. “We dont have to go all the way.”

He says your name again, laced with worry. He doesnt want you to feel pressured. 

You pull your leg off his hip and push yourself up, settling your hands on either side of Joels head.

“Can I tell you something?”

“Yes-”

“-And you cant get all in your head about it. You stay here, with me. You stay present.”

“Okay, okay.” He nods, a bit defeated. “I will stay present.”

“When you...When you say you dont wanna have sex, what is it that youre thinking exactly? I know you said you just get really nervous but I feel like youre not being totally honest.”

Joel stays quiet, idly rubbing your sides. Maybe you are a cat. Just getting to feel any part of you is soothing. “I jus’ want you to feel good. ‘Fraid ill do somethin’ you dont like.”

“You cant assume how I feel, Joel. Being intimate.. It takes time to learn what the other person likes.”

He sighs. “I know.” Youre always right.

Adding on, “Like I said, we dont have to go all the way,” You lean further back, situating yourself on his hips. He lets out a shaky breath when he feels the pressure of your ass through his sweats.

“But, I want to start somewhere. I want to feel you.” 

“Fuck- Um-” Hes shaking now, letting you grind your hips down onto him. Joel cant seem to control the way his hips instinctively push up to meet yours. Youre both becoming of a mess of little gasps and hot breaths and tiny whimpers already.

You hunch forward, guiding his hand under your your shirt- His shirt- letting him feel up the supple skin of your stomach, then the area where your ribs are, then your-

“And I want you to feel me,”

Surprisingly, you did actually go all the way that night.

Your sex life was a bit of a rocky start, but after Joel got over most of his anxiety, you learned quickly just how goddamn insatiable he was. Five years in and he still regularly makes you sore. 

There are a couple things you learned about him and his sexual interests. He loves to take you in his truck, in your kitchen, in your bathroom, on your couch. Other, riskier places. Anywhere that isnt your bed apparently, not that he isnt fucking you there either.

Joel is handsy, so handsy infact it embarasses you to no end, especially when youre infront of others. Thats usually how it starts, too. First he kisses you, then gropes your hips and your ass, and the next thing you know, youre cumming on his fingers. Then hed bend you over, or get you on your back, or make you ride him. Is it really riding if hes just slamming up into you until your brain turns into mush?

He likes that too. Making you not think.

Youd be lying if you said its only ever him. Sleepy morning handjobs before work, whining to him over the phone and touching yourself to his voice, arching your back into him while you're washing dishes, sucking him off after hours in his office.

And while most men prefer lingerie or little costumes, Joel likes dresses. Dresses that are discreet so he can take you in the backyard when he comes home early and sees you gardening. Or when youre both at a friends house and hes had a little too much to drink and finds himself alone with you. Dresses that make it easy to play his favorite game with you. I touch you, and you make sure we dont get caught by being too loud. Joel really is the worst sometimes.

Now, you only ever wear pants when its cold, or to bed or sometimes when youre lounging, like today. Youre in some shorts and a tank top. Otherwise, its dresses all year round, usually retro styles or ones meant for spring. Joels not picky though, he loves any dress on you.

Even if you wear an extremely modest, white lacey sleep dress, looking like some kind of vintage ghost, the man would still keep you up all night. And he has. He said you looked like a princess. You guess you kind of did.

The entire thing is like an unspoken arrangement between you both. He doesnt tell you to wear them, you just do.

And he works hard to spoil you, so why not buy as many cute dresses as possible? 

You got a cute dress today too, on the same day Joel has off. You think its going to be a new favorite of his.

The big polymailer stays hidden behind your back. Be casual. “Uh- Nothing!”

“Nothin’?”

“Mhm.”

“Whats behind your back then?”

You sway in place, trying to suppress a knowing smile. “I dont have anything behind my back.”

“Lemme see then. Show me your hands-”

“Hey, Mrs. Miller!”

Both you and Joel turn your heads to the voice, and only one of you has the energy to fake a a smile. Your neighbor is stopping in his driveway, having come back from a jog it looks.

“Hi, Lee.” 

Joel really, really, really doesnt like Lee. You dont like him either, but youre not one to cause problems. Lee on the other hand, is. Hes a bit younger than you, and a lot younger than Joel. Hes one of those tech dudes with a massive ego, thinks that youll be swayed by his money and his “charm” and youth as if youre some sad housewife in need of saving. Gross. 

And another thing, Lee doesnt even actually live here! Hes here ever so often to visit his dad between, you dont know, tech expos? You forget. Joel believes he started showing up more often to see you. 

Youre walking towards the porch again. Joels looking especially unhappy to see him today, knuckles pulled taut into a fist. His lips stay pressed into a thin line, careful not to let anything slip out. He usually lets you do most of the talking, as much as it pains him. 

Joels really not a fan of the way Lees eyes take a trip up your bare legs. Little shit.

“Out with no shoes again, Mrs. Miller?”

“You know me, Im uh- Im weird.”

“The weird ones do it best.” He smiles, all teeth. It gives you the creeps. His attention is on Joel now. Its like watching a puppy try to one up a wolf. “Right, Joel?”

“Uh huh.” Whatever that means.

“Actually, I've been meaning to ask you something, Mrs. Miller.” Lee crosses into your driveway and you glance briefly at Joel, as if to make sure he isnt going to start growling at the other to stay away. Youre clutching the package to your chest now. 

“Have you ever been to a support group for uh- you know, the spouses of addicts?  I have a friend from work and shes really struggling.” 

Lees tone is sugary sweet, but the fake kind you put in diet soda except that stuff is way better. Joel sighs from the door. You stand there, dumbfounded on the porch steps because what the fuck is he going on about. 

You clear your throat, keeping your voice firm. “No. Ive never needed to.”  

Joels voice cuts in like a knife. “Been clean for almost twenty years now.”

“Yeah but, you know,” He shrugs, squinting a bit under the morning sun. “Relapses happen.”

Joel and Lee are at a stand still, and the moment Joel lets the arm leaning on the frame drop to his side, you know youre in for a lot of trouble. You move quickly towards the door. “We have to get ready for a- uh- a thing? but Im sorry about your friend.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Miller. Im doing my best to support her.” And before he turns away, he just has to be slimy to you. “If you need someone to talk to, Im here for you.”

“No, that really wont be necess-”

Joels slinging a strong arm around you to yank you back inside before shutting the door. 

“Motherfucker,” He hisses to himself, stomping through the walkway and into the kitchen.

“How-” You rub your eyes, letting them adjust to the light inside of the house. You put the package down onto the bar counter that opens up the kitchen and follow Joel to the fridge. “How does he know?? I thought-”

“Been living in this house for decades now,” His expression is tight, brows knitted together while he chugs a bottle of water. “People talk. ‘Specially if I'm being rolled into an ambulance on more than one occasion.” Joel frowns. “Fuck- I shoulda punched him in the fuckin’ face- Do you see how hard he tries so hard to flirt with you infront’a me?”

“I know, love. I was there.” You take the bottle from his hand and set it to the side, then wrap your arms around him. “Try not to let it get to you okay?”

Joel sighs into your hair, giving your body a squeeze. “I know, I know, but jus’ hearin’ him tryin’ta use my baggage to make a pass at you…S’fuckin’ evil.”

“I agree, but I dont want his blood on the driveway.”

“So get it on his driveway instead, got it.”

You giggle and tip your head up to kiss him. The tension eases from Joels shoulders, and he cups your cheeks, letting his worries melt away into your mouth. When the pads of his fingers start to slide under your tank top, youre leaning back. Youll be here for a while if this goes any further.

Joel mindlessly chases your lips, looking a bit pouty now that its over.

“Im gonna start getting ready for the barbecue, okay?”

“This early?”

“I like being punctual.” 

“My brother wont give a damn if were late.” He noses your jaw, pressing a kiss here and there. Your knees are beginning to feel weak. The bastard is trying to distract you.

“But I do. The farmers market opened today, and I promised Maria I'd get her fresh strawberries before we got there, remember?”

“Alright, alright.” He grumbles into your shoulder.

Joel lets you go, watching you round the bar counter to get your package and disappear upstairs.

-

Ever since you came down to a freshly showered Joel, and got into the car with the gift bags you prepared for Maria and Tommy, Hes been staring at you. One wrong move and the drools gonna start pouring out of his mouth.

Your hair is in its relatively natural state, freshly washed and shiny from the oil you put in it. You put on some light makeup, and went a bit heavy handed on the blush to look sunkissed, and topped it off with a flavored lip gloss Joel especially enjoys. 

Now, the dress. Its a pink floral mid-length dress, with a low cut sweetheart neckline and a corset style backing to cinch your waist and push out your chest. The material is thick and pretty, and there are two other layers under the skirt to keep its shape. You have on a pair of little pink pumps with little bows to match. 

The drive to the farmers market is fairly peaceful, the windows are half down and theres music playing at low volume on the radio. You and Joel have different tastes in music, but one genre you can always agree on is alternative rock. 

The weathers beautiful, sun high in the sky, and its not too hot or humid. The day really is perfect. Youre gonna soak up some sun when youre at the barbecue. Hopefully, they made lemonade again too.

Joel has been mostly quiet throughout your shopping. While it would worry some, youve been with him long enough to know that he just has a lot on his mind. What hes thinking about? Maybe youll learn when you make it back home at the end of the day.

You gasp, strolling through the grass to a stand with a mountain of apples. Granny smith, Macintosh, Pink Ladys, Honeycrisp, the works. He grunts, trying to keep the things that are already in your basket steady. You came for strawberries and are going to leave with much more than that.

Joel nudges you softly. “Remember, this is quality stuff, meaning itll go bad faster. Dont get too much.”

“Okay, got it.” You beam, and then begin inspecting the Pink Lady apples first, trying to find the ones with the best color.  He keeps the basket within reach so you can drop your picks in.

"These were Sarahs favorites."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, it was funny 'cause we started arguin' over these or Red Delicious. I think Red Delicious is better."

"Thats so cute! Hmm. Should we get one for her? A Pink Lady?"

"Uh," He thinks on it for a moment, unsure, but the smile on your face helps him make a decision. "Sure, why not."

You drop two perfect Pink Ladys into the basket, moving onto the next pile.

“Hey, Joel.” You grin, holding out a wrinkled granny smith apple. “This one looks like you”

“Ha ha.” He deadpans, and grabs it from you to put back. In turn, hes reaching for the runt of the pile. A pathetically small one sitting near the bottom. “Now this one looks like you.”

“Does not!”

“Does too.” 

The next stand has golden kiwis, and youre practically dragging Joel forward to try them. You ask for one, and the man at the stand slices it into halves, giving you a plastic spoon to go with. 

You let Joel smell it first. “S’good.”

“Lets see if it tastes good.”

You sink your spoon into it, humming when you see how soft and easy it is to scoop out. In your mouth it goes!

Its tastes sweet, a bit mango-y and fucking delicious. You bounce in place, spoon feeding Joel next. “Oh yeah,” He smiles, smacking his lips a bit to really let the taste settle on his tongue. “Were takin’ some of these.”

You take one, then two, then three and four then five and as you reach for the sixth one, Joels stopping you with a gentle hand. 

“Darlin’.” 

“Right.” 

For the next few stands its just you and Joel trying various kinds of fruit. Starfruit, blueberries, some mangos, and then youre going back to the truck.

“I think my favorites were the mangos and golden kiwis. I hope Maria and Tommy have enough space in their fridge for all of this.”

“They moved into a bigger house, I reckon their fridge s’probably bigger, too.”

“What time is it?” 

You let go of Joels arm so he can switch the basket from one hand to the other. 

“‘Bout…” Hes squinting at his watch. “12:34 in the afternoon.”

“Oh! Guess we got the shopping done sooner than I expected. Hmm. Should we stop somewhere in the mean time?-" You snap your finger when you remember something. "They opened up this cafe that has cats in it! We can drink coffee and play with them for bit! The next fourty-five minutes will go by super fast."

“Youre gonna make Cement jealous.”

You bat your hand dismissively. “Hes not gonna caaare.” 

“Oh yes he will. And remind me again why we named our cat Cement?

“Uh, we were both drunk and had gotten him the day before without a name picked out?”

“A whole year later and we still kept it. Worst pet owners ever.” Joel chuckles, opening the passenger door for you like he always does. 

“Thank you.”

“Mhm.”

The giant basket of fruit goes into the back seat next to the gift bags before Joel slots himself into the drivers seat. 

You fumble with the radio a bit, trying to see what else is on but ultimately landing back on your preferred station. Theyve been playing a lot of Linkin Park recently. Hell yeah. Joel buckles himself in at last, and pulls out of the parking lot. 

“Marias gonna teach me how to make baked chicken,” You hum, gazing outside the window.

“You sure youre not jus’ unteachable?”

“Ha ha,” You lightly shove his shoulder, making him smile. “I thought you loved the meat sauce pasta I learned how to make.”

He settles into his seat more comfortably at the stop light, elbow rested on the window. “Got me with that one. Think I like ground turkey over beef, though.”

“Yeah? Me too. The beef tastes better but the turkey is lighter. Stops me from feeling all sick.”

“Agreed.”

Youre looking out the windshield now. Where did all the buildings go? Youre out of the city. 

“Uh, Joel?”

“Mm?”

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere to kill time.”

“Yeah but where?”

“Youll see.” 

Your brows pinch together. “I see a whole lot of nothing except for trees."

“Almost there.”

Joel makes a hasty left turn onto some campgrounds. Your stomach starts to twist into excited knots. Is he gonna show you a baby deer or something? Bunnies? He used to be a park ranger for this area, and would tell you stories about all sorts of baby animals hed run into.

The car comes to a stop, and he turns the engine off. Silence.

“So…Were out in the woods to kill time?”

“Mhm.” Joel unbuckles his seat belt and twists into the back to grab the spare jacket he usually keeps there, then gets out of the truck and comes around the back to open the door for you. 

He holds your hand to help you get down from the passenger side, and as soon as both of your shoes hit the ground Joel is on you. 

You dont know where your hands should go, youve kissed Joel a thousand times and yet you still get so flustered when he catches you by surprise. You keep your hands on his shoulders for now, letting him press wet kisses to your neck and shoulder.

“This is new right? The dress?” He gives your ass an appreciative squeeze through the fabric. “Thought you looked so pretty when you came down stairs in it.” 

Your heads spinning. Something about your dress? 

“Woulda been okay if you let me have you earlier.” He pulls away, examining your flushed face cradled by his hand. Every part of you just fits so well in his palms. “Then I thought, why not have you now? We got time to spare.”

“Joel- We- Someone could see us-” You sputter, and Joels already shaking his head with a knowing smirk. He pulls you around to the bed of the truck, popping it open, only pausing to spread open the jacket he grabbed, just having just thrown it in there when he came around to get you.

“No ones gonna come lookin’ for us.” He turns you around, pushing you down onto your front. “As long as youre quiet.” 

Fuck. You really hate this game. At least, you like to tell yourself that.

Blood rushes to your ears while Joels rough palms lift up the skirt of your dress, exposing your ass and thighs to the cool air. He whistles from behind you. 

“Red lace panties?” His fingers dont shy away from tracing along the fabric covering your cunt. “This new too?”

You crane your neck over your shoulder to look at his face. “Uh.. Surprise?”

Joels smiling now, fingers dipping under the lace. “Thas' awfully sweet of you.”

His touch slips and slides around your growing wetness, then trails down to your clit. Your voice wobbles a bit and fuck- fuck hes going too fast. “Joel- Ah-” You whimper and try to push yourself up to look at him but his hand is steady on your spine, keeping you down. 

Smug, “Go on, sweetheart. Keep sayin’ my name. Jus’ like that.”

A whine escapes you when he pulls away, “Nooo.” You push your ass back, as if to entice him. You succeed, because hes skipped his usual routine of fucking you with his hands and is now unbuckling his belt.

Joel rolls you onto your back, and peels your underwear all the way off, bunching it up and shoving it into his back pocket. Your face burns just watching him.

“Think i'll hold onto these for a lil’ while.”

His hands push the back of your knees towards your chest, exposing your heat. Youll never get used to the way he just seems so interested just watching your cunt squeeze around nothing. 

“Thats-” You swallow, pushing yourself up onto your elbows. "Joel.”

“Relax." He coos, "Seen it a thousand times already, and ill be seein' it a thousand more. Get used to it, honey.”

Your attention flickers down to where his dick is about to meet your entrance. Joels nudging you down onto your back again and pulling the top of your dress down to expose your chest. Its when youre distracted that he actually moves to push himself in.

Both of you groan together, and Joel could never get bored of fucking you, not when your cunt just pulses around him everytime hes inside you.

Joel wastes no time fucking you once he eases all the way inside. Youre trying your best to keep quiet. Shit is no easy task. Its like Joel is trying to get you guys arrested.

He props himself up with a hand near your head, and lets the other keep one of your legs pinned open. The moans start to claw out of your throat. “Joel- Joel-” 

“Shh. Thas’ enough.” He growls through his teeth, fucking you harder. “Youre gonna- Gh- Get us caught-”

Something rustles between the trees, making you both freeze. You clasp your hands over your mouth, watching Joel straighten up to look around.

After a few seconds of squinting, Joel can see a few foxes moving about through the trees. Thank fuck. His shoulders visibly relax.

Hushed, “E-Everything okay?”

“Yeah, jus’ some animals.” 

And like that, hes back to it. His dick is going to make your eyes permanently stay rolled into your head. 

Joel is always just so handsome when hes pounding into you. His forehead gets shiny with sweat, and his jaw is tight from clenching his teeth, keeping himself quiet so he can focus on your moans. His face is noticeably redder against his usual farmers tan too. Really, hes just so attractive.

A flurry of yes and harder and fuck spills out of your mouth and into your palms. Not too loud, you try to remind yourself.

“Joel- S’too much-”

“Nah, thas’ not it.” He huffs, humorous. “You can take it. Y'always do. In fact, you love gettin’ your cunt bullied by me, aint that right?” As if to get his point across, he thrust in all the way to the hilt, making you keen. You forgot how to breathe, lungs drawing tight in your chest.

"Fuck," You manage to squeeze out.

Your palms push weakly at his shoulders, trying to ground yourself somehow. His head drops to the junction of your neck and shoulder, inhaling deeply.

“You good?” He checks in, breath hot on your skin. As if your crying isnt enough.

“So g-good, Joel- Fuck- Youre so good.” 

With a little nod, Joels pushing himself up, switching to slow and deep strokes, really digging himself into you, and trying to find that spot he likes to call home.

He massages your chest, then squeezes your sides and your hips and finally, his thumb finds your clit. Immediately, you jolt. 

“Oh fuck-” 

“Quiet.” And he says it to keep the charade going, even though his favorite thing is hearing your sobs.

His thumb rubbing incessantly against your that sweet little nub of yours. You choke, and Joels chuckling, watching the way you squirm, body not knowing whether it should lean into his touch because its too good or away because its too much.

It starts with this firey feeling under the pad of his thumb, then deep inside your stuffed cunt. Youre going to cum. 

Your hands fly to your mouth again, and you get all wide eyed from the sensation. Its cute. Your muscles pull taut, legs locking around Joels hips. Youre wailing into your palm when it happens.

“Good girl,” His voice soothes you through it. “Very good.”

He pets away the fly aways sticking to your sweaty face when its over. Your eyes drop shut while you catch your breath. 

Joels moving again now. He rolls his hips a few times, and thumb is building the foundation of another orgasm in you. Youre shaking badly.

Your words slur too, “Cant- Too soon- Joel- Joel-”

“Another one.” Joel says firmly, but breathless. 

Youre gasping, not sure where to focus your eyes. The trees around you look like theyre spinning. Your attention is back on Joel, whos looking rather satisfied watching you squirm and cry. If thats how wants to play, then fine.

Your hands slide up Joels biceps, and rests on the nap of his neck to bring him down. “Juh-Joel,” You pant, cradling his face with both hands. “Youre so good- The best-”

Oh, Joel likes that one, you can tell by the way he looks away briefly. Shyness. Excitement runs up your spine. Joel loves being told hes doing well. 

“You are- Nghh-” You swallow the drool in your mouth, trying to get the words out clearly. “The best husband I could ever ask for.”

Joel wheezes, head dropping into the curve of your shoulder. “Please.”

“S’true,” You nod rapidly, fingers curling into his hair. “Youre so good to me and-and youre mine and- Joel-  Im yours.”

“Jesus-” He groans, soaking up the feeling of you pressing kisses to his face and up his jaw. 

“Hhah-  No one else can have me, okay? No one- Not even-”

The name doesnt even come out of your mouth before Joels coming to a stop to slip his arms all the way around your middle. With the new leverage he has on your body, hes drilling his way into you. You fucking squeal, rules now long forgotten. Youre a useless ragdoll in his arms and he wouldnt have it any other way.

Your lips are shiny with spit and left over lip gloss, and he can still taste the mintiness in his tongue. Every now and again your eyes drop shut, but his dick just punches into your guts a little harder. Look at me. 

Your brain is mush, just the way he likes it, and youre perfectly pliant in his arms, babbling over how good you feel. Hes kisses along the valley of your breasts now, stopping to suck the flesh of your nipples.

Youre just so pretty. Even when you have bedhead, or youre snotty from a cold, or youre all dirty from working in the garden  youre still so pretty. Including now, all sweaty with you lipgloss all smudged and your mascara starting to run. Youre perfect. 

Joel grunts loud, jaw clenched tight as he gets lost in the feeling of your insides. His perfect little wife.

When he cums, hes doubling over with a loud grunt, getting a few last thrusts in before his spent floods your cunt.

Youre blinking away your tears, now watching the clouds inch along the sky. It really is a beautiful day. You pet Joels sweaty hair, and kiss the side of his temple. Your core throbs faintly. Jesus, he did a number on you.

“Love,” You say softly, patting his back.

“Mm?”

“Get up.” Another pat. “Youre squishing me.” 

Joel backs off to buckle himself up, but you stay seated to catch your breath and adjust your dress. At least it didnt get ripped during all the… Commotion. Not like last time.

“I need my underwear back.”

“Nope,”

“Joel.”

He kisses the center of your forehead and helps you down from the bed and into the passenger seat instead.  “Told you i'm keepin’ ‘em.”

You sputter, “I cant go to barbecue commando!”

“Sure you can.” He pops open the glove compartment and gets out some tissues, hand snaking under your dress again to clean you. You sigh softly at the sensation.

“Youre the worst.”

“I am indeed the worst.” Joel pulls the seatbelt over your chest and clicks it in. “You can tell me all about it on the way to Tommys.” 

[whokilledsamara]

you should do a nsfw alphabet for dogday? :)

(but don’t tire yourself out, okay? ♡

you deserve a break every once in a while !!)

DOGDAY NSFW ALPHABET

a Dogday x reader list. {an: thank you sm for your kind words, i appreciate the support! happy to write for my fellow readers.}

warnings!: not too much for this one, dogday is a sweet boy. nsfw is a big one though! he is very vanilla, {ironic} and its just basic sex. this takes place BEFORE you and him escape. so yes, yall are still in the factory. {if you want me to do one from after the factory or something than send in the request and ill redo it} both amab and afab choices for reader!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

oh boy. this man goes OVERBOARD with aftercare. he does everything he can for being in an old warehouse. so dont expect to just walk off without him doing every possible thing he can.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

he loves everything about you, so other than your face it would probably be your hips. doesnt matter the shape/size, he loves them.

on him it would be difficult to pick, being an anthropomorphic dog is kind of hard to deal with. if anything he likes his hands, big and strong.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

as expected due to the sheer size of his body, he cums a lot. depending on where you want it is where he will put it.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

hes a very vanilla based guy {as said, ironic} and doesnt have many dark and deep fantasies. though he would like to be topped, so i guess thats one.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

buddy is clueless. even as human this poor dog had NO game. he's definitely surprised you even want to do it with him, which will make him try his absolute hardest to please you.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

doggy style. self explanatory.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

hes serious but hes also very awkward at the beginning, though he gets more used to it after a while.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

hes covered in fur so there isnt much of a difference, but his groin area has more fur than usual {almost as a happy trail}, if that answers your question.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

very romantic guy. probably more romantic than sexual. he just loves you a lot.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

never has. and probably never will as long as he has you. his sex drive is almost none as he isnt made to do that. but you tend to spark some kind of reaction from him.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

petplay, collars, dom and sub, maybe more depending on how far you guys go.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

not many options, so preferably secluded places that you wont be bothered.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

you in general, but also his ears being scratched. i mean he is a dog after all.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

scat, vomit, or anything abuse related.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

he has a big tongue surprisingly, so he does prefer to go down on you. wether that be eating you out or sucking you off {more like licking you off} then he is good. as for receiving, he loves it, but he feels bad watching you struggle. though a part of him is attracted to it.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

depends, usually he is slow as to not hurt you, but if you ask him to go faster he will.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

he doesnt HATE them, i mean, sex is sex and especially with you its amazing, but he prefers to take his time on you. he will never say no to a quickie tho.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

no. he doesnt want to risk hurting you, and therefore he will do everything to prevent it.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

his stamina doesnt deflate due to his dog like nature, but he tends to stop after two rounds as to keep you safe.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

he is a toy, so no.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

he likes to jokingly tease, not really intentionally making you horny, but this poor boy CANNOT take you teasing him. he becomes a blubbering mess and pants heavily.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

not loud, but he growls and grunts. not in an aggressive way of course.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

he really likes dry humping. like yes go up to him and shush him while you hump his thigh, hell yea.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

goodness gracious. i guess being over 8 foot tall really helps you pack somewhere else. your poor hole(s) honestly, hes over 12 inches LONG and probably around 6 inches wide. hes a girthy boy.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

as said earlier, he wasnt made for sex, so its not very high. he happily obliges for you though. and you definitely get him going.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

hes a sun dog, and doesnt need sleep. but he does enjoy an occasional nap every now and then. that being said he loves sleeping with you.

{ created by @whokilledsamara }

[the-s1lly-corner]

What would be the reaction of Alastor, Charlie, Lucifer, Adam, Vox, Husk and Angel to a reader who has diction problems, like where they confuse words for others because they forget the name of the objective and mispronounce it...

Note: I have diction and my friends when we are playing together always laugh at me for doing these things... I just wanted to know

Various HH characters x reader who struggles with words

God I felt this request so bad, I'm bad when it comes to words/speaking them, usually it's the long pause and struggling to actually start saying the word hisshiss.. also sorry for not doing all the characters asked for!<\3 requests are limited to only 3-4 characters <\3

Characters: Lucifer, Charlie, Husk

Notes: reader is GN, admin admittedly does use their experience to write out the readers experience so!! Obligatory his experience isnt universal!

CWs: none

LUCIFER

hes very similar to his daughter in regards that hes pretty patient with you, finishing your sentences is like second nature for him

its a little sweet that he visibly looks proud of himself for helping you out

while charlie will gently try to remind others that youre still talking, lucifer is going to be more bold and just say it out loud that you werent finished

will not tolerate any disrespect thrown your way, he will at minimum give a dirty look if someone is even slightly rude to you

if youre fine with a friend teasing you, its best to let him know that otherwise hes going to be giving the stink eye to said friend the entire time

hes... going to be a little.. confused on it but hes not going to stop you from indulging in the humor

CHARLIE

shes so so patient with you and doesnt push you to try to get your words out faster, sometimes she even offers to finish the sentence for you if a certain word or two keeps evading you

though she will keep from doing that if you express that it makes you feel bad about your struggles, and she'll be sure to apologize in that case

if theres anything she can do to help you, just let her know! shes going to do everything she can to accommodate you- not only because youre staying in her hotel but because you two are close!

makes sure people give you the time to get your thoughts out, and will advocate for you if the conversation is moving too fast before you can speak

HUSK

more often than not hes going to let you finish talking on your own, only really offering to help you find a word if its clearly distressing you

its not so much fear of overstepping, its... something else, its hard to explain... likely because hes so used to being the only one taking care of himself, that he applies the same mindset to others- you can help yourself, you can get the words out

at least he believes in you! thats something! of course he doesnt deny your struggles, thats the last thing hes going to do

will give you the chance to stand up for yourself if the conversation carries on without you, but if it happens over and over... and youre clearly hurting, hes going to snap at the group to remind you that youre still in the conversation

is it a little confrontational? yes, but hes not exactly known for being gentle

[thepepsislvt]

I’m finally home from a trip.. what if hear me out.. nsfw alphabet for my favorite bgs either Kid, Killer, or of course Barto

-Tulipp 🌷🌷🌷

(acc still doesn’t work)

I DID IT AND I STARTED IT BEFORE U EVEN ASKED BECAUSE YOU MADE ME THINK ABOUT KID AND KILLER RELIGIOUSLY

also evryone istg im alive ive just been violently sick WAAAAHHH

anw here you go braincell sharer Kid and Killer nsfw alphabet

@tulipp-again

A: Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Kid tries his damn hardest to at least clean you up but usually hes conked out within 3 minutes

Killer on the other hand is a trooper. He will run you a bath, get you water, a snack, anything you could ever think of he does. Hes so sweet about everything

B: Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

I think we all agree that Kid is an ass man. he loves to grope it, bite it and smack it

Kid likes his arms and hands with how strong they arms. He loves how he can easily bend you over anything and fuck you from behind

Killer likes your collar bones with how easy he can bite them and leave a mark

On him Killer also likes his arms with how easy he can carry you around if needed

C: Cum (Anything to do with cum)

Kid cums A LOT okay? its thick and fills you up so much. He loves to cum on your face the most

Killer’s is also thick but he doesnt shoot as much as Kid. He especially loves to cum all over your stomach

D: Dirty Secret

Kid really doesnt have any secrets, if he wants something hes going to announce it

Killer really wants you to top him. He sees how snappy and mean you get with Kid when you are bickering and he wants you to do that to him. he just doesnt know how to ask

E: Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Kid slept around a lot when he was younger while trying to deny he was gay for Killer but he eventually got over his ego and just went for it. When you joined the relationship you often called Kid a slut for being so skilled

Killer didn’t have any experience outside of you and Kid but he sure knows how to make you feel good

F: Favorite Position

ANYTHING WITH YOUR ASS POINTED TOWARDS KID! Kid really likes your ass and never hesitates to let you know how much he loves it

Killer loves to hold you close so he usually has you in his lap with your back against his chest

G: Goofy (Are they more serious at the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

They both agree that Sex is serious and shouldn’t be taken as a joke

H: Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Kid either doesnt know what grooming is or he really doesnt care. hes untrimmed and yes the carpet does indeed match the drapes

Killer really doesnt care either but he does trim a little bit. he will do more if you really want him to

I: Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Kid tries but just know degrading is his love language. He does kiss you a lot but its usually rough and sloppy

Killer is way more romantic than Kid in everyway. He constantly tells you how good youre doing and checking up on you. he whispers a lot of praise and ‘i love you’s at least 90% of the time

J: Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Kid is a big man with a big sex drive. so much so he has to rub one out a lot if youre “to busy” or “not feeling it” (even though he has literally drug you away from your work several times before

Killer isnt much into having to Jack off unless hes really desperate but most of the time he just holds out

K: Kinks (One or more of their kinks)

Kid loves spanking you. hes an ass man, you got a nice ass its just common sense according to him.

Killer loves hair pulling. Theres just something about the extra pain that is slowly soothed when you rub his scalp that just adds the cherry on top for him.

L: Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Kid will do it anywhere he doesnt care he doesnt have any shame but you do so you convince him to do it in at least a semi public location which isnt much better but youll take it.

Killer likes it anywhere in private since he is more of a private person himself

M: Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Kid is turned on by literally anything you do. all that anger quickly gets turned to horny when you or Killer walk into the picture

Killer gets turned on most when you kiss his neck it ear

N: No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

they both wouldnt do anything that would seriously hurt you other than that theyre pretty open to trying whatever

O: Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Kid Prefers to receive hes a little whore who only thinks abt himself

Killer doesnt mind giving or receiving as long as youre happy

P: Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?)

Kid is Fast and ROUGH and its not hard to believe at all

Killer also likes to be fast and rough but still takes it easy on you

Q: Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Kid will take it if thats all he can get but prefers to take his time fucking you brain dead

Killer isnt fond of them but if you need it then he’ll do it for you

R: Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Kid is all about risks because he runs on that type of adrenaline

Killer also isnt too opposed but likes to play it safer

S: Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Kid can last up to 5 maximum before telling you to fuck off and then falling asleep

Killer can go as many as you want, he’ll stir up as much energy as needed to make you happy

T: Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

i wouldnt think so but if yall do have any toys its made from Kid himself

U: Unfair (How much they like to tease)

Kid is a GOD at teasing, he loves to be in control and to tease you until are crying for him

Killer also loves to tease even more so than Kid, you would never expect

V: Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Kid is loud, he doesnt shut up, he groans and growls, mf laughs when he degrades you shut shut up man

Killer not loud he just lets out a few grunts and small moans

W: Wild Card (Random headcanon)

Killer is the only one who has ever topped Kid

X: X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

Kid is rlly thick and girthy. like oh my god you gonna need a few minutes to stretch out around him

Killer isnt as thick but he is long omg

Y: Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Kid is up ready to go at any given moment all that pent up anger gotta go somewhere

Killer isnt as hyper sexual as Kid but he still enjoys it at least 3-4 times a week

Z: ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Immediately after for Kid, like bro will nut and then you hear his loud ass snoring

Killer doesnt fall asleep as fast as Kid mainly cause he needs to calm down first and catch his breath. he also loves to clean everyone up so yall not sleeping all dirty

[3grey-morals5]

hcs-scp/035&049🤩🤩🤩 (hc1)

uhh...idk I'm just putting shit here atp. Just kinda putting stuff down as I think abt/remember it. Please note this is a bit shippy, but it isnt like.. Dumbed down and cutesy. i try my best to give both chars a more mature and thoughtful feel - stay close to the scp aEsThEtIc of seriousness

THIS IS ALL MY IDEAS FOR IT. NO IT MAY NOT BE TRUE TO TH3 CANON.

-035

this pertains to the collection as a whole, but it's kinda like. There was a original 035 right. That was the jester/black lord consciousness, and it was alone until they left alagadda and the mask started having more hosts. Each new one added the consciousness of that host into the "hivemind" of other hosts.

Due to this system of consciousness , past memories from the other hosts and original, the BL(black lord not boy love) are sorta like a weird game of telephone. For example, the bl liked 049 in alagadda, and that got passed on- but through the different telling of stories the perception changed. So, they mostly recognize 049, but don't know why he's so important so they're left guessing.

smells interesting. Like those dried flower things that give of a nice smell but also to a point it's too sickly sweet or has a unpleasant after smell. Coupled with the hosts smell ofc, but the mask on its own smells like that and a bit earthy too. It's seems nice at first but the more you smell it the more it deteriorates into ...eugh.

This is kinda relevant more to my alagadda hcs, but explains the "goop" coming from them. In alagadda, ESPECIALLY in lords, their is a surplus of unwanted (or wanted, that will be gotten to in the future) humors. For example, the red lord has too much red humor(blood I beleive?) That overhauls all other emotions or humors into JUST mirth. They physically cant feel anything other than that. This goes for the Bl too, there was just so much black bile causing anguish that that was all they could feel. Thus, deteriorating them mentally and physically bc..I mean if you were in constant upset it would take a toll on you. How to fix this? Bloodletting! Er, BILE letting. It helps balance out the humors, to be able to feel more than just their assigned humor. Somehow in the transition from alagadda to the "real world" there was a constant flow able to break through the mask, thus 035 is able to switch emotions very fast and not dwell on just one. Well not more than a normal being would.

In constant mental turmoil due to contaiment,multitude of hosts, nature of said hosts, ect. Causes extreme mood swings, lashing out, psychotic behavior, ect. Like. Not even a headcanon really but they're actually insane. Prone to rash decisions that don't consider future repercussions, unhealthy attachments, Yada Yada Yada.

Moral compass is completely fucked but still tries to do what they pertain as GOOD. Leads to alottt of awkward situations with the staff bc like. Got a Lil dirty secret? Mask mf knows. And you know very well he WILL leak that shit like a furry fandom beware but with 10x more salt in the wound.

will lie withought shame. Not really a headcanon cause this is common knowledge but I just wanna push that this mf is NOT a truthful bitch. 100% a scam artist in a modern setting, and at one point swore up and down that they invented an idea or product just for the fun of seeing how far it could go.

fun fact: Dýo (THE Scp035) actually came up with the idea for the bicycle far before it's alleged creation? The mask states: "My dearest ------- is so slow in his gait! I beleived it would assist him in an easier - and if I may say, more amusing way of transport"

Alagadda related, but..haha. lord. Emo ass lord./pos Look at you all "cut my life into peices" and wearing all black with black hair and a black feather but still got that pale ass face like uve seen a ghost thrice in the last few seconds. In my version they're the youngest of the 4 and...certainly act like it. At least from the media, me being an only child I don't know what siblings are like.

Despite their very VERY disturbing looks, the bl is actually a fairly nice guy(keep in mind this is BEFORE all of the new hosts so it's just one conciousness). The most pessimistic guy you will ever meet, but still a nice one. The palace is dreary asf but is quiet and relatively easygoing as long as you follow some set rules. Anguish dosent like going out much, prefers to stay in doors and refuses all their fellow lords(mainly mirth) attempts to have them join in on the "fun" preferring to instead stay stuck in the past and wallow in self pity. The only way this was turned was at the start of the bile-letting by a doctor (049) and that gave him the actual capacity to feel other than anguish- growing fond of his "savior" and attempting to court him (eventually succeeding. They had a relatively good relationship before all went to shit) he still had alot of sadness, but was more active and lively much to the suprise of palacegoers and dismay of other lords - and of course, the ambassador.

There is much more I would like to add for 035, them being my favorite for...5 or so years now? Has given me plenty of thinking time to develop new ideas for them. I still have much left to say but this is getting upsettingly long and I wish to move onto 049. (Then for a treat, you may have some hcs of their relationship- the good and bad)

-049

Im not gonna assign mental illnesses or disabilities i know nothing about to characters, but there is certainly something going on here.

Began with small signs at childhood. Normally level headed but could snap at family and friends out of the blue, anxious behaviors, visions/illusions or whatever they're called, along with hearing voices and following impulse. They eventually were housed in solidarity by their parents out of worry for their child, (now around teenage) worsening their condition. Sometime during the start of the plauge, they were able to escape and made their way into society.

Really does think he's doing good! Like.. really is trying!! But it's not good at all!!! Primarily self taught with shit he finds around and learning from other doctors, which ahem, eventually are killed to use as patients when the mental instability sets in again and he starts to view them as sick or evil in some way. Not sanitary(obv) but even worse so because he is constantly mucking around in body pits trying to do something covered in rot and gross never changing, rarely eating..just a real sight.

Some way or another made it to alagadda. Yay? Something in the way the city feels is calming, and depresses his mind into a more manedgable and "normal" state where he is able to think clearly. The peak in his career where he learned the most, did the most good, and was a TRUE doctor.

Spent a lot of time in the library, then wandering around in very little free time usually giving remedies to townsfolk suffering from whatever ailments eith the supplies he had. Eventually supplies were sponsored by Anguish when they grew close, and he was able to make quite a name for himself within the citizen community. Retained humanity and compassion which was relatively new in the city, and that drew many in

All good must come to an end though, and being banished from alagadda back in the normal world (with 035 but he's not as important in this awesomesauce 049 discussion) did a huge number on his health and basically reset all the progress he made. Turning ..well, crazy, once again and running even more rampant with the new knowledge he learned. This is where he began actually being able to revive.

A very gentlemanly fellow on the outside but it's a whole fucking shitshow on the interior. It takes alot out of them to constantly stay in check(a skill he's learned with his years) but every once in a while it slips and he just bursts or goes into autopilot(not good either)

Very insecure and untrusting, and while looking a lot more sincere and well rounded/not impulsive like 035, he really isn't a polar opposite. Lil bro is anxious point and laugh at his dumbass.(relax snowflakes, I have diagnosed anxiety I can make this joke 🥰)

No I don't have as much stuff for 049 as 035, as I find him more tricky to write for and thus am spending more time trying to round out my perception of him. Anyways. Here's some cute and also sad 035x049 shit idfk it's almost 1 am I'm so tired of typing if you're actually reading this ily

-good!!!! During alagadda

was very one sided at first, mainly Anguish puppy dog eyes over his cool goth bird crush who LITTERALLY made him feel something other than anguish with procedures and all.

At last 049 (bless his heart he was so sheltered he dosent have much a grasp on the concept of love or whatevs) was like maybe this guy wanna be more than friends. Much to bls relief this attempt at courting bad been going on for far too long in his humble opinion.

Spend an ungodly amount of time together. Like enough to raise suspicion if they weren't extremely careful with all of it. If thus shit got out...(it did) it would be over for lovey dovey couple

Lots of time spent in the palace gardens...mmm grey lavender is such an appealing smell to experience while you're giggling shrouded by bushes trying to keep your relations with your first love hidden like Romeo and James or some shit. Anguish taught him to dance like the citizens at balls did, and it was very much appreciated - a big pass time of theirs. 049 still kinda has to sleep? Bl dosent, but he likes to just read silently while doc uses his much larger body as a pillow. (And maybe wake him up out of sheer boredom, much to docs dismay)

049 enjoys preening with the use of anguish 's bile as a sort of shampoo. It slides right off his feather and hair and takes all the little mites with him. In turn, doc will scratch places that are "hard to reach " can bl get them himself? Maybe. But he would much rather a professional do it.

Anguish was giddy at the start of their courting and would write poems at their anniversaries (one week, one month, 2 months, ect) doc would always try to read them but eventually would have to have bl read them due to the handwriting. At times bl couldn't even read what he scribbled down only hours earlier. These weren't a few stanzas either, these were LONGASS poems ok. He has alot of free time.

Physical touch is a blessing when you spend alot of you lives being seen as sickly and gross, so they usually will have some sort of contact. That is, if doc isn't in a sour mood and feeling extra prickly.

They sure as hell respect boundaries though. Bl knows the signs of a doc that isn't in the mood to get poked or messed with, and doc in turn sees when anguish isn't in the best mood to be given sass. He is always down to be poked and messed with but God forbid someone roll their eyes at him when he's almost enraged

-bad :(((((( after alagadda

Their worst traits feed of eachother. Bad.

Heh..I'm a fool guys....I like good relationship sm that I forgot to hc bad...oopsies. jk but not ill have them in the future but dawg it 1 30 am I wanna go to bed!!!

If there is errors in this I am very sorry. I am also very sleepy and aore and that is why there is errors. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS FAR ONG??? Hope u enjoyed. Adios :3

[dustorangeheartssnow]

opinions?… 😬😬

https://www.tumblr.com/melmov/750293558453501952?source=share

link

Wfa =free, comics = $3.99 per -> subsidized demand -> market distortion -> :/ :(

The claim of that post—“people have gotten tired of unrelenting grimdark” e.g. actual DC main runs and therefore prefer “slice-of-life fluff [that] also presents a coherent, easy-to-enter, balanced storyline” e.g. WFA—is directionally accurate but its also sort of talking about a Different Group of People than DC Comics Readers.

in particular there is a group of people who have been pretty much totally deracinated from developing or being capable of developing their own opinions on media or humor or life. because of social media and maybe also they r very young. there is a general valence to that part of fandom: the incorrect quotes, the Canva-post-derived politics, the memetic vocab + jokes and like this weird very limited view of redditizedhistory and culture+literature consisteing of the binding of Isaac and twoheadedcalf poem. and so there is just genuinely not the ability to process things that haven’t been run through a filter of accessibility. and WFA, which has BEAUTIFUL art and lots of very sweet moments, IS super accessible and its also sort of been through the preapproved foundfamily neoliberal kitsch machine and come out with a passing grade. but yes it is missing that like elusive Something and it also lacks a seriousness and it isnt the Characters. it’s something else. And its so pretentious to say its for people who don’t have the like stamina ??? for longerform storytelling but yes if you pressed me i would say its a bunch of people, primarily young genz and millennial girls/women, whose critical mental faculties and attention spans have been fried by social media and underexposure to challenging original content

that’s a different new group being lassoed into dc stuff from the previous existing audience. The DC Comics Reader People. i don’t know how much of this to do gender politics with but comics fandom has DEFINITELY gotten MUCH more female in the last 2 decades and there was a distinctive male comic book go-to-the-LCS-and-get-physical-copies and rigorously-autisticslly-fight-about-minutia-of-canon culture. Men also r going to be the one who GENERALLY prefer your fightheavy “”””grimdark””” comics, as opposed to women who doooo generally prefer social relational content. And also women-dominated comics fandom spaces are obviously qualitatively different from men’s fandom spaces. So PART of the reason WFA outsells real DC stuff is market distortion and PART is the DCfan genderdemographic shift that favors content like WFA

I rly hesitate to endorse a lot of Canon dc tumblr’s posts about the fanony WFA-style stuff bc it seems so clear that a the latter is enjoyed primarily by a group of very young people and it also feels like there’s a weird power imbalance intellectually between fanon and canon people. AND I AM A BIG BELIEVER IN LET PEOPLE READ AND ENJOY THE CONTENT THEY WANT and they shouldn’t be shamed for enjoying something as visually sweet and cute as WFA. and a lot of canon tumblr’s rants abt fanon stuff r clearly sort of excessively vicious and insecure attempts to feel superior. although admittedly quietly they r correct but it comes off cruel idk. also i think that BATMAN and superman and to some extent some others ARE indeed very flexible in terms of what is canon and what you have to consume to have consumed The Character and The Story. ive never seen BTAS but as far as im concerned, someone who has only watched BTAS is someone who has the right to do whatever batman stuff they want.

Related questions are: Is mainline DC batman stuff GOOD right now? and Is WFA good? I agree that mainline DC stuff isnt the best right now and i haven’t read WFA so i can’t comment on its quality but i honestly don’t think its the case that “WFA is better written than actual Batman comics, so thats why WFA is more popular” lol

[hearts4sungie]

HOW EACH SKZ MEMBER TREATS YOU AS THEIR BFF

you’re friends with stray kids but which friend in the group are they?

BANG CHAN ✩

the supportive friend

• encourages you whenever you need it

• both lean on each other the most

• on your best and worst days, he’s there for you to hug.

• thats not all! you both are lunch date buddies!!

• you guys take turns on choosing where to eat and who pays (though he insists he should)

• the lunch dates are a good way to make sure each of you are eating everyday

• you also bring him snacks and drinks when he’s overworking himself at the studio

LEE KNOW ✩

the teasing friend (act surprised)

• teases you 24/7

• its his way of showing he’s comfortable with you

• teases you extra hard on days he feels you’re not paying attention to him :(

• you throw light jabs back (but tbh you like to give him the illusion that he has the upper hand)

• uses his humor to make you feel better on bad days or when you’re in an uncomfy situation

• minho secretly likes it because of the pout you always give

CHANGBIN ✩

the flirty friend

• has the biggest platonic crush on you

• sneaks a compliment in almost conversation

• there isnt a time when you and the boys go out that changbin isnt wrapping his arms around your waist

• you enjoy it (hello?? ofc you do, binnie is so hot and sweet)

• you like to flirt back but ultimately get too shy

• he’s the friend who helps you escape bad dates or people uncomfortably flirting with you

• #1 yn protector

HYUNJIN ✩

the gossipy friend

• whether its on the phone, facetime or in person.. you guys are telling each other the DRAMA.

• the rest of skz hate when you guys are next to each other bc you guys cant stop gossiping

• as you guys should!! hyunjin just knows too much idol drama! and you want in!

• even have code names for people, including the rest of skz

• you guys also stay up late binging kdramas

• hyunjin insisting the only way you guys can comfortably watch kdramas is if you cuddle

• bestest best friends

HAN JISUNG ✩

the fun friend

• if you need to feel stress-free, its jisung you go to, vice versa.

• you’re each others happy pills

• inside jokes for dayssss

• the members are lowkey jealous that you and jisung have so many inside jokes

• watching anime and playing mobile games is a must between you two

• jisung loves that he’s who makes you this happy

• feels prideful and brags about it to the boys

• “i took y/n out.. again. we had sooo much fun”

• “whatever you say, jisung”

• have a secret handshake with each other

FELIX ✩

cuddle buddy

• you know that friend you have where you can act however you want with? free of judgement? thats him.

• “where’s felix” “probably latching on to y/n”

• being in lix’s arms brings the fuzziest feeling to you

• felix loves skinship so whenever you ask him for cuddles, he gets excited

• you have a special message you text if you ever feel like cuddling and he’s not there

• 🧸?

• you always have open arms for lix too

SEUNGMIN ✩

“we hate each other but not really” friend

• this ongoing facade you and seungmin have is what makes your friendship special

• banter is how you guys express your love

• “get away, you smell”

• “that not what you said when you were hugging me last night, seungmin”

• “i hugged you because you begged”

• after every offhand comment, there’s a smile placed on both your faces

JEONGIN ✩

hype man

• “jeongin can you tell me how this outfit looks”

• will hype you up and make you feel the best

• jeongin loves making you feel good about yourself

• takes you shopping and never lets you pay

• lets you borrow his clothes

• you also hype him up before award show or concert

• you help jeongin not be insecure about how he may sing or dance

• “thanks, y/n. love you”

pssst you can send requests whenever. hope you enjoyed!

[sp-growingpains]

Heyy 👋👋 its me again teehee

Im absolutely exhausted from these assignments and reading about Jean lore always cheers me up 🫶 (but no pressure to answer)

1. We've seen a lot about Jean's relationship with Kyle and Stan, but what about Kenny, Butters, and Eric? What are their interactions like?

2. Is she more extroverted or introverted? What are people's first impressions of her?

3. What are her feelings towards school and how well does she do? Does she hate it? Is she a straight A student?

4. What clique is Jean in? I think you've mentioned she has a soft spot for the goth kids, so is she a part of their group? And if not them, then who?

5. Weird one, but if someone were to break into Jean's house (considering how crazy South Park can get sometimes this isnt that farfetched), what's the first thing she's grabbing? If she fight or flight?

When I tell you that you actually made me tear up from asking this alone. The thought that my little blorbo makes you happy fills me with so much joy. I hope you understand that I plan on giving that love back! 🫶

OH IT'S RAMBLIN' TIME

Her Relationship With Others!

Starting with the most difficult going to the easiest to think about

Cartman: Real talk, I've spent hours thinking about her relationship with Eric. And like most people's ocs with him, it's complicated. On a normal day, she's a perfect victim for his schemes. Jean is a himbo down to her core. That means she's very gullible, to the point where it takes her a long time to learn not to keep falling for it.

If the Cartman Schemes are harmless and just fall back on her, it's fine. Most of the time, she'll laugh it off and think it's just Cartman's way of playing.

When it bleeds over to the others, that's when she gets frustrated with him. She truly believes that people are good at their core and that belief extends to him. So it frustrates her when she sees him fall into those ignorant habits or that extreme behavior.

Now, when it comes to his attitude towards Kyle, she takes a bit of a back seat. I have thoughts about her stepping in if it ever got physical or if either one took it too far. Because we've seen that Kyle's attitude towards Cartman is antagonistic at times. That's not to say he's as bad as Cartman (because NO ONE is as bad as Cartman), but Kyle does come off as very "Holier than thou art"! Jean's doesn't know a lot, but she knows when something is a losing battle.

Outside of that, she thinks most of the things he says is just some attempt at crude, edgy, 4chan humor. Because no one could really think those things. Right?

The only time Jean gets legitimately beyond angry with him was that whole thing with Kyle and Nichole. At the end of the day, she wants all of her friends to be happy. Nichole brought Kyle legitimate happiness, and he ruined that.

Butters: Oh sweet Butters. Baby boy Butters. Most of the fandom has reduced Leo to a sweet sunshine boy who could do no wrong.

Personally, as me, I know he's not like that. He's a sweetheart, sure, but he's also a little stinker. He falls into the same stupid habits of being tricked like Jean would. "Fool me once shame on you," kind of thing. Says some pretty dumb shit and does dumb shit just like the rest of them.

However, that mentality the Fandom pushes onto Butters is almost how Jean sees him. It's unfortunate, but Butters could get away with so much because of it. To her, Butters will always be that little brother that she has to protect. When he starts coming around more, she makes a silent vow to keep him safe.

But honestly, because of that view, she probably will never be super close to him. Almost to the point where she doesn't take him very seriously. And I can see that frustrating Butters later on in life. It would take him either blowing up on her or someone pointing it out that Jean treats him kinda like a joke. Of course, she'll feel horrible about it because that's never her intention.

But she goes out of her way to make sure he's included in things like late night diner runs. Out of hand parties. Goofy arcade outings. Birthday parties!

Kenny: The final dude on the main four, but certainly not forgotten. He's another one I've spent a very long time thinking about.

When I think about their relationship, I truly believe Kenny is the only one who really sees how self-destructive Jean is to herself. I've talked about how Stan and Jean understand each other in a way you can only get with someone who's like you, but that in itself isn't healthy. It becomes an echo chamber.

Kenny is the person who really pulls Jean out of her shit. He calls her out when she's on her fourth energy drink. When she's sweating vodka or when she stays up too late. What makes him so perfect for this is that Kenny is so casual about it. He does it in a way that doesn't make her feel bad about being fussed over.

Besides his laid-back attitude, there's an agreement between the two of them. Kenny and Jean look out for each other. I have always preached Kenny McCormick is a man who would give the world everything. He's so very kind, he loves so very much and Jean loves that about him. Loves that so much that she will give him the world back.

When they're old enough to understand, she offers her home to him and his sister. Making sure they have a warm meal and a place away from it all. What's the point of that big old empty house if you've got no one to share it with. Even then, when Jean's trying to give him something, he's taking care of her. Giving her that purpose she so desperately craves.

Jean's incredibly jealous of Kenny, and that drives her to be better. To do more. I guess in a roundabout way, Kenny is a friendly rival that keeps her going.

I also headcanon that Kenny is the one that did her industrial bar! They DIY their piercings together like idiots.

Extroverted and Burnt Out!

My buddies and I have talked a lot about how much of yourself you put in your oc. I try very hard to make all of my ocs their own person, but I don't hide the small amount I put of myself in my ocs. For Jean, I gave her my horrible habit of doing too much!

Jean is an extrovert! She loves going out, meeting new people, and constantly being on the go. It stems from that fear of being alone, being trapped with your thoughts, and needing to be needed so badly. She puts too much of herself out there until she crashes and burns. That typically comes from doing something reckless.

On the outside, Jean puts up a friendly front. She's goofy, loud, warm, and the personification of a golden retriever! The way she dresses and how big of a woman she is might give her a bit of a scary vibe, but she's honestly a big teddy bear. The last thing she wants is to scare people, so she tries to keep a smile on her face!

Smooth-Brain Hours!

Jean absolutely hates school. She hates having to sit still for hours in a desk that's too uncomfortable, listening to some teacher who probably doesn't give a shit about the thing they're teaching about. High-school Jean is a menace. She doesn't go out of her way to disrupt class because she won't even show up if she can help it. Especially if it's science and math. She doesn't get it and it frustrates her.

I've made jokes about her being stupid and a himbo, and jokes aside, she's just not book smart. If it's something that interests her, she's all over it! If we're comparing her to the other students, she's about Clyde's level of intelligence. The only difference is that she tries very hard to listen to the people who are smart.

It's only through the grace of her friends and those who care about her that she even passed to begin with. This kind of leads into her 'blind loyalty'. If Kyle, Tolkien, Nichole, or Wendy tell her something, she believes them almost to the point where she won't question it!

The things that keep her coming back are those people and the after-school activities. Playing basketball and getting to jam out in the music room! Going to watch football games and support her friends! Never a dull day in South Park, and she loves the chaos that comes with it.

The Squad

It's really hard to clock Jean into one clique. My first thoughts are those group of gym bros that will hype you up! Then I remembered all of my friends who are a part of the metal/punk community are like that.

So that's her little community outside of her normal squad. Her jacket has different patches on them that remind her of her friends and her favorite bands. She's got a Dio patch across her right chest pocket, that one is closest to her heart! Her favorite thing to do is to get into the pits and mosh! Loud music drumming in her ears and flowing through her veins. Surrounded by other people who just get it.

Punk is about community and standing up again injustice. Jean's got a problem with authority, especially when it comes to stupid adults. She's grown up surrounded by her friends' horrible parents, teachers who don't give a shit, and stupid hicks. She's gonna be a part of a group that's a little...defiant?

I can see the goths, at least tolerating her. Mostly because their insults slide off her smooth brain. That and she enjoys listening to their poetry when she skips class for a smoke break!

Them's Fighting Words

I talk a lot about how Jean is this big teddy bear. This gentle giant with a heart of dumb. But the reason she's like this is because she tries very hard to be like this. In actuality, under all of that sunshine, she loves a good fight. The rush, the adrenaline behind it all, down to the pretty purple bruises that come with it. It all feels so very deserved.

And that's not right. It's not normal to think like that.

So if a fight presents itself. Someone breaks into her house, hearing about how some stupid woman lives alone in this fancy house, and that makes for easy pickings; she's gonna take it eagerly. Any excuse to let go of that pent-up rage she keeps bottled up.

The fun answer as to what she's grabbing would be her guitar, but she'd rather bleed out on the floor than break her darling instrument. So she grabs her bass instead. Besides, everyone knows the bass swings harder. Makes a nicer sound when it comes into contact with someone's head too.

If she wins the fight and she knows the fight is done, she'll take responsibility for the damage she's caused. If something is broken, she goes out of her way to make sure the person can get to the hospital. For as much as she loves fighting, and the pain feels deserved for her, she's a bleeding heart. In the back of her head, whoever broke into her house had to do it out of desperation. Had to have a reason for why they needed to do this. Maybe she can help them. Put them on the right path! Sometimes, that path starts with a few fists being thrown!

Hey, thanks for being patient with me, and I hope this was a fun read! I truly appreciate and adore this community and the friends I've made through it! I want to continue to get better with my art and word smithing so I can make the content you all deserve! You really made me think about some things I wouldn't have considered! Your brain is beautiful and I love it!

[plaguethewaters]

filled with isat au thoughts. so many

the crux of tommys friend quest still being about feelings of inadequancy in his religion but - even though hes aroace too bc like cmon - he feels like he cant be strong enough. hes not the perfect selfless hero everyone wants, he struggles finding quests he can actually finish he doesnt Know if hes ever going to be the hero Wilbur, and everyone with him, suggests for him to be. But hes been nothing but an annoying child forever and he needs to change right? To Change? Thats the whole point of the thing! But leaving out his stupid bits and jokes and trying to put on a serious saviour persona makes him feel like hes loosing more and more of himself the more time passes by.

techno still struggles with identity. Hes never been able to feel accepted in his home country - the Antartic Empire isnt strict with most thing, the idea of absolute freedom is clear in everyones mind, but "one's freedom ends where another's start", and many saw technos illness (/expression possession/ancient divinity speaking through him, he still isnt sure) as dangerous. as an infriction of their own freedom to feel safe. But Lmanburg... people speak of lmanburg, and phil speaks of it highest of them all. His sons country, his sons faith. Techno isnt one to fall for pretty words, but he cant deny they sound... appealing. The acceptance, the unconditional love, the community.He hopes his research might bring him closer to understanding it all. To not feel foreign in every land.

Niki, for all that anyone might think, is Not a child. Shes small, and shes not strong, and she can barely Craft anything - all this time and no one has figured out her type yet, no matter how hard they try - but goddammit, she isnt a useless little baby. She has a voice, she has her strenght, she Has the abikity to protect those she loved, even if she failed before. Jacks frozen face stares at her, even from hundred of miles away, back in their little house. She looks at tommy and she cant really understand why Hes been chosen and not her, what really makes them so different, what makes her so much crabbing worse that shes not even allowed to hold her own against the simplest sadness. Nad then she tries, and Ranboo loses an eye. A whole eye, just because in her stupid crabbing arrogance she thought she could be more than her place, more than the job she was assigned. She needs to protect them better. She just needs to get stronger.

Tubbo, all things considered, doesnt think hes doing badly. Theres a bit of resentment in his heart - like jesus, when hed joined the Hunters he really thought they were there to Do something about the evil in the world. But they didnt, and tommy really evidently needed help, and he doesnt hang around cowards anymore, so he left. Whatever. Hes fought so hard in his life to be taken seriously (little, cute baby tubbo, a shirt too big for his frame and a smile always too wide for his face. Do you like bees, tubbo? Do you want to go find bees? they talk to him with sickeningly sweet voices and dumbed out words) (he ignores every bee he sees, lately), hes Changed, hes bulked up, hes leaned heavy onto the crazy strongman archetype until nobody could ever look at him and see a "cute little guy". He wants them to be scared, he wants to cackle so loud mothers hurry their children away, he wants to know tidbits of the darkest parts of the world, to talk about bombs and dissections and whatever Will keep people the most away from his true feelings. Tommy doesnt seem disgusted when he tugs him along on his quest (in fact, he seems to enjoy your humor as well, and hes very quick to become your friend).

With ranboo its. Different. Not that hes put off by you or anything - none of them are, surprisingly, you get along real nicely as a group - in fact, they lean into it. Theyre super quick to pull up one of their favorite horror stories while you eat yoir dinners, for you to enjoy and for niki and tommy to be grossed out by and for techno to barely react at, and they love your particular dark, ceass humor even id they dont participate themselves. They just have this. Super annoying thing about them, that makes tubbo want to Change again. Want to bring back that vulnerability, that cuteness, the bees and the flowers and the weaknesses that have hurt him before. Tubbo wouldve loved to be a farmer, once. A little cabin in the countryside, selling honey to the nearest House. But it doesnt matter. Hes never going to say anything about it anyway - talking about these things feels. so weird.

[southparkl4d]

this isnt really a question i just wanted to say your au is really fun!! i love the dynamic poses and action shots and stuff and i didnt think i could get got by a jumpscare in a text/drawing based media but craig getting charged did super spook me and thats rlly impressive to me. also its rlly funny. if you cant have a little humor in your zombie apocs what even is the pointttt /lh but yeah this is nice. i guess i want to ask if it is still ongoing ? not to pressure you about it just bc i genuinely cant figure out if tumblr has timestamps i havent used it in years. i do really like what is out though its fun

oh dude holy shit this is so sweet 😭😭😭 if u press the three dots i think it tells u when a post was made idk how tumblr works either LOL

yeah this comic is still very much ongoing, the last part was posted i think 5 days ago 👍

[comradeboyhalo]

Okay—you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to..! But I’m actually SO curious on your essay thoughts of q!Bad in 4halo fics. Because (I think) it’s kind of rare that q!Bad is depicted accurately in.. most qsmp ship fics. And I feel like q!Bad always becomes.. obsessed with romance with q!Forever in many 4halo fics?? Or super open + emotionally stable?? I don’t know how to explain it, but that’s why I’m curious of your thoughts (because I’ve read your fics and 100% trust your characterizations, especially of BBH cubitos <3)

hihi always down to ramble. and i agree, a lot of bad's flaws are smoothed over in 4halo fics, which makes him incredibly ooc. also, i dont think that these mischaracterizations are necessarily bad, i understand that in fluff fics (or angst fics, which im guilty of) sometimes theres no room in tone to fully capture all of q!bad's complexities. but that doesn't mean i cant have some gripes!

i dont think this is exclusive to 4halo, but 4halo is also bad's current biggest ship, so a lot of it just happens to fall on it. but i really hate how fanon!bad gets stripped down to a mere love interest who is just...very perfect in how he interacts with romance. he wants to go on cute dates, he confesses in a very sweet way. he is kind and nice and a little insecure, and is just so boring. its very much reminiscent of old skephalo fics, where bad is seen as "innocent" and then any other interesting trait of his gets stripped away. i also end up feeling im reading about a highschooler, when q!bad is 11k+ and cc!bad (obviously influential of his character) is in his late 20s.

again, i understand why people write 4halo on cute dates and first kisses. thats what fanfic is for! but i cant help but see the entirety of the ao3 page full of these very...allo-typical romance plots and think "...he would not fucking say that." q!bad is messy as fuck! if you don't interpret him as arospec, then hes at the very least repressed, and not in a cute YA romance way. a 1k fic of pining that ends in a nice love confession just doesnt convince me im sorry!

and then there's the blue diamond obstacle that gets in the way of 4halo monogamy....skeppy. again, i get why most 4halo shippers arent going to mention him, cause theyre just not into anything skephalo. i cant blame them for that. but im a master nitpicker, so ill still nitpick cause this is my blog. bad brushing over skeppy is ooc. bad acting as if skeppy is in the past is ooc. bad pursuing any form of relationship without including skeppy is ooc. bad choosing any other person but skeppy to be his #1 is ooc. and yeah it sucks for shipping if you dislike q!skephalo, but thats how it is and its not changing. and also any fics that push bad to "move on" from skeppy is just ??? not only is that his soulmate across lifetimes, but skeppy isnt dead? hes just not on the island? help??? bad has two hands, but one hand will always hold skeppy's and he's made that abundantly clear many times.

anyways im also not immune to q!bad butchering in 4halo fics! ill admit that, in writing the hanahaki au, i couldn't really find time to fit a lot of q!bad's humor into it, and he ended up more openly angsty and sad and vulnerable then he really is, or would ever be. so i totally get it, and im fine if other qbad viewers despise how he's written in it. however i will stand by the fact that q4halo would never pursue a traditional relationship together, and i chose the ending to be ambiguous because thats how i believe their relationship (and feelings) are: ambiguous. that's why, to me, 4halo is so good. i don't want to read about them confessing their feelings. i want to read about how their relationship is an undefined, confusing mess that will never be defined, and im just so surprised that there aren't more fics like that out there.

[lexa-griffins]

Omega Lexa works in a sex shop and provides extra services for the customers via a glory hole. Her identity is kept secret for her protection. Alpha Clarke is one of her usual clients. Clarke accidentally knots Lexa through the glory hole so they're tied together waiting for Clarke's knot to deflate

The.... visual of them then tied together through the glory is... too much. Is porncom a genre? Because that is exactly what this is ajskdkdnd

Lexa knows Clarke, she's seen her walk around the store. She's bought a few things here and there, some she assumes are for partners and not herself but Lexa has learned to not judge a book by its cover.

She visits the glory hole a few times a month. Lexa likes her. She's easy to make cum, she's always polite with her even when she can't see her. Overall, a joy of a client and of an alpha.

Lexa has had a rough week and Clarke feels good inside of her. So fucking good. She's exactly what Lexa needed to make her forget the shitty week she had, from being yelled at by an alpha after so much as implying the dildo he was buying was for him and the beta she had to comfort as she cried about the omega she cant seem to keep as he keeps running back to his ex so she thought a funner toy could help.

Clarke is good at making her forget theres a wall between them. A literal one. She stays out most of the time and lets Lexa do her job o nstead of trying to be the big dominant alpha.

Maybe if Clarke had been more in control she would have been able to realize how close Lexa was to take her and she would have been able to pull out before. Lexa is so lost in how good the stretch feels she only realizes shestaking the knot when she's past the point of no return.

"Oh my god." Its really the only thing Lexa can say as Clarke fully enters her and groans, cumming inside of her.

Fuck doesnt quite cut it.

"I- Im stuck."

Yeah, no shit, smartest alpha on earth.

"We're stuck."

"I should have pulled out, Im sorry."

"I was the one in control, I should have realized it, its my fault."

Silence.

"Are you comfortable like that?"

No, "I guess. Its not like there much we can do anyways." She's bent over and her legs are a ldittle shaky but luckily the stall is small enough she can hold herself up.

"Im sorry."

"Youve said that already."

"Oh, yeah. Sorry."

Lexa snorts with humor, making her body shake and a small moan to leave them both.

"How long do you usually take to go down?"

"Half an hour, one hour? Depends. My rut isnt close so it should be more on the higher end."

"Great."

"Im s-"

"Clarke if you say sorry i will punch you once i get to see your face."

"Hey i- wait how do yoh know my name?"

"Hmmm....."

"Wait, your voice.... oh my god are toh Lexa, the front desk girl?"

Lexa winces, "Hi."

Clarke's breathing seems to get slightly faster on the other side of the wall, "are you doing okay over there?"

"Yeah, yeah." A laugh.

"Whats so funny?"

"Ive had a crush on you for ages now. I had no idea it was you on that side."

"What?"

"I havent had a partner in ages. Ive been accumulating sex toys i dont even use at my house for months just to come here and see you. Oh shit that sounds really fucking creepy when i say it out loud doesnt it?"

"A little. But sweet. In a slightly creepy way."

"Oh my god this day could be going better."

"I've had worst ones this week."

"Really?"

"Yeah. But i doubt you eanna hear about it."

"Oh believe me I have nothing but time."

Its about forty minutes before they can get free. Lexa gasps at the amount of cum that leaves her before she sees a small towel being offered to her from the top of the stall door, the watch on the wrist a clear indication its Clarke.

"Sorry, i know its usually hm, a lot."

"Its alright. Idn another circumstances id probably be delighted its so much."

"Im gonna leave the at the counter and go. With extra of course."

"Oh, okay."

There's a throat clearing from the other side of the door, "Bye Lexa. For all its worth, there is no one else id rather be stuck like that with."

Lexa stops cleaning herself to stare at the closed door. She snorts again.

"I really need to stop sounding creepy dont I?"

"Yes. But it had its charm-"

"Im a creepy way." They say in unison before laughing.

"Bye Lexa."

"See ya Clarke."

Lexa listens for the bathroom door to close with a little hesitation.

By the time she's presentable, Clarke is gone and the store is empty. The money sits on the counter with an added 50$ for the whole mess. As Lexa collects the money she finds a paper with a phone number.

"I swear im less creepy face to face. X Clarke"

[the-s1lly-corner]

I got an idea from the child reader request.

Like the same wolf in sheep's clothing concept but like FULL SWEET TO DARK PERSONALITY.

Wanna hear?

So basically child reader is like cute and innocent at first sight but IS A TOTAL DEMON, Having a very dark sense of humor, Sometimes out of nowhere walk up to someone of the gang and threaten to gouge out their eyes while they sleep, they are always with an cute expression but turns out that they like to cause chaos and havoc just like Jax but in a more creepy way.

For example, SOMEHOW reader is caught hanging from the ceilling scaring the fuck out of gangle just because its fun. Or staying in the dark waiting for someone so they can jumpscare them.

Basically child reader uses their cute-kid as an advantage to scare others off.

TADC x child!reader who is a menace! (platonic)

wasnt quite sure what to title this so!! some segments may be shorter than others since im still trying to get a hand of writing/coming up with ideas for certain characters (cough cough gangle) (i love her sm but shes so hard for me to write idk why) hope you enjoy! majority of this post is just me tormenting the cast TToTT

CAINE:

oh my god you kind of remind him of bubble but more... flkmddlvm

makes a time out rule when you keep making threats to the other circus members, that behavior is not family friendly!

he might even consider trying to go into the code and censoring your common phrases as well as some other words, if he has the capabilities for that

still tries to be a dad to you, though, wants to be a good role model and guide you in the right direction for the sake of everyone else

the first time you say something... morbid to him he just

slack jawed, stares at you before shaking himself back to reality and just

bro is astonished he was not ready to hear that today, let alone hear it from a small child

POMNI:

you know how in the other post with a child!reader i mention that pomni is vaguely uncomfortable around kids since she knows they can dish out some real cruelty

take this idea and multiply it by 10x

actually looks like that one sad spongebob meme with the big eyes and tear when shes put in charge of keeping an eye on you during an in house adventure

meek attempt to get you to behave

not much to say here imo, since its like an amped up version of the last post :O

JAX:

makes a joke about how youre already entering your edgy phase, he now has to watch his back lest some of his digital fur be shaved off

fear does not come close to describing how he feels when he discovers that you somehow found keys to some peoples rooms. he hopes you dont have a key to his room

and he thought he was hot shit, but no some random kid makes him fear the consequences of his actions

is this his punishment for his constant bullshit? what did he do in particular to deserve this?

instinctively looks up at the ceiling when he enters a room to make sure youre not about to drop on him

congrats, youve instilled fear into the funny rabbit

RAGATHA:

the 'nightmare kid' thing some babysitters go through at least once in their life, but instead of tantrums and such its just you talking about how you sometimes tear apart the dolls that came with your room. to the doll person

very uncomfortable by a lot of the stuff you casually say, even more so because its coming from a kid. though i think she would be uncomfortably be talk like that in general

SWEARS that one day shes going to blink and youll suddenly be right next to her or within her proximity

like on one hand she wants to try to guide you to be less dark, like caine, but i think she would need someone to back her up because she cannot get the image of the torn up dolls out of her head

KINGER:

poor man

like even if the things you said were empty threats, he would be scared shitless

if he isnt already in his fort, hes retreating to it the second he sees you around

kind of funny since kinger is in his late late 40s and youre a kid and hes terrified of you

anyways

less of a discomfort thing and more so scared that youre going to go through with the things you say

he walked into the common area one day and saw you literally crawling across the walls, he was with gangle when he saw it. you see his irises of his eyes shrink

doesnt even bother going to his fort, which is under where you currently are

he just

slowly

backs away, he can find refuge in his room... unless you have a key to his room

ZOOBLE:

less discomfort more annoyance with zooble, i think that while she would find it funny when a kid swears she finds people talking like that to be cringe; kid or not

the only one who isnt really scared of you. sure you threaten to disassemble them constantly and hide their pieces across the grounds to assure they can never be whole again, but they're just internally cringing while you try to make them turn away

in a weird way you two create an odd dynamic where you just go on and zooble just halfway listens, you kinda just talk at them

like while caine tries to be your dad, and ragatha tries to be.. something.. zooble is like a weird 'friend'

probably has the most potential to become a friend and get you to chill, but thats just based on my experience

like if its an attention/reaction thing, zooble isnt going to give it to you, which kind of. ruins the point of it for you, and you just

stop, or at least tone it down over time

or maybe thats just me seeing zooble having the potential to be an older sibling figure

GANGLE:

the gif is gangle when you get your hands on her

i understand that she cries easily, but like, you have probably made her cry at least once either on accident or on purpose

i think shes one of the few characters out of the cast who would probably start avoiding you for the sake of her emotional state, but she would feel bad about it since at the end of the day you're a kid

refuses to go anywhere near you when her comedy mask is broken, because otherwise shes a glum mess

you know how in poppee the performer, kedamono's mask sometimes just. pops off when he gets scared or surprised (well it happens regardless of expression/mood but yk)

gangle does that when she sees you LITERALLY CRAWLING ON THE WALLS LIKE A BUG

how are you even doing that

she doesnt wanna know, actually

"imma tie you up double knotted style" *high pitched crying*

[thealmightyemprex]

Muppet Movies Ranked

I've recently marathoned all 8 theatrical Muppet movies ,and these are my rankings.Keep in mind I think all 8 are good movies,I just prefer some to others

8.The Muppets

I like the nostalgic look back stuff.....But the peoblem is I dont like Walter or the human characters .This film is the most meh to me

7.Muppets From Space

ITs diffrent,being the only non musical in the series ,and I do like that the film focuses on my favorite Muppet Gonzo and doesnt showcase just the Muppet Show guys but the Muppets Tonght guys as well but the story isnt all there,I dont think Jeffrey Tambours villain has the right ending and it is painfully 90's

6.Great Muppet Caper

Oooooh for putting this so low I might get some hate,but I shall explain .This is the most irreverant ,silly and funniest Mupppet movie,if you just want to laugh this is great .THis film is pure Henson wackyness,the film is not taking itself seriously at all.....And while I enjoy that.....I prefer a Muppet movie to have a bit more heart and story to go with the silly FOr me the characters,story and songs are a bit lacking .Again jokes are brillaint,performances are good (Charles Grodin looks like he is in LOVE with Miss Piggy and it is amazing) and it may have my favorite cameo in any Muppet movie .I do like the movie,I just like 5 others better

5.Muppets Most Wanted

This film is VERY similar to Great Muppet Caper ,and while not funnier,I think its more solid .I adore the songs,especially the Big House ,I think the story is really good ,I love Sam and Ty Burrels chemistry ,the cameos are top notch ,Tina Fey as the Russian warden Nadya delivers one of the best human characters in all the Muppet movies and the film has possibly the best villain in all the Muppet movies in Constantine who is good mix of hilarious and threatening .Not all the effects worked and....I really wish someone else other then Ricky Gervais played the secondary villain Dominic Badguy.Overall though its an enjoyable film

4.Muppets Take Manhatten

The one that surprised me .Of the orignal three its the one people dont talk about but ....I love it,its a bit more of a low key Muppet film ,ITs a much more character focused film. .The Dabney Coleman scene cracks me up,Saying Goodbye is tearjerking and the finale is spectacular

3.Muppet Christmas Carol

A legit really good take on a Christmas Carol,possibly one of the best takes .The first film without Jim Henson ,and I think it showed the Muppets could survive .Less about the jokes and more about the heart and artistry while still having fun and humor . the Muppet performers are on top form,especially Gonzo and Rizzo as the narrators ,but the highlight of the film is honestly the phenomenal performance of Michael Caine as the coldhearted Scrooge ,giving off a legit good dramtic performance while talking to Puppets .Also the songs by Pqaul Williams are just top notch

2.The Muppet Movie

The one that started it all,a heartwarming story about a bunch of weirdos coming together in pursuit of a dream,its sweet,its funny ,Paul Williams songs are great (Especially Im Going to Go Back There Some Day and Rainbow Connection),theres some fun cameos (Mel Brooks steals the show ) and Charles Durning gives an underrated performance as a psychotic fast food mogul

1.Muppet Treasure Island

This....WAs one of the first movies I ever saw,and I have never stopped loving it .The muppet mayhem is funny(DEad Toms Dead always gets me ),its exciting ,the songs are all top notch ,and it has the best human cast with Kevin Bishop as the adventurous young Jim .Jennifer Saunders asa bombastic Inn owner,Billy Connolly as old drunkn pirate Billy Bones and the legend himself Tim Curry hamming it up as the villainous Long John Silver in perhaps his greatest performance ,cause he is equally great with the comedy as he is at delivering tender softer moments with Jim as a sort of surrogate father

@amalthea9 @angelixgutz @theancientvaleofsoulmaking @ariel-seagull-wings @themousefromfantasyland @the-blue-fairie @princesssarisa @greektragedydaddy @filmcityworld1