#its sometjing other people have vontrol over
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houghh i am so fucked
#xenon screams#ome person blcoks me i am oermanently affected by it etc etc#but also#ither people get sad when people block them but they dont get this bad#its not just becausse of my avpd#i dont have friends in real life#i haven't talked to someone outside of my family#as in. actually talked. with my mouth. to a human in the flesh kn front of me#that wasnt ordering food at a restaurant or checking out an item at a store#since ???????#i do have headmates#but i cant pbysically touch them#im in an art club that i sometimes go to#but no ine talks to ne#idk anyones names#they dont know mine#idk gow to not repel people#not to mention the oandemic is still happening#me having friends isnt anything i have control over#its sometjing other people have vontrol over#people dont want to be friends with me#no one exceot the people in my brain who were created to be friends with me#ok well not all of them came from loneliness. actually only one did#but ignore that#vent
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