#its so sad that my first true physical lesbian relationship was so emotionally manipulative but i cant escape the physical attraction
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i wanna add on lmfao
it’s 2am for me and i just got home from a date so i think it’s late enough at night for it to be fair game for me to rant about my ex
#so ive told her about said girl before bc weve been open about our past relationships but she does Not like that ive never ended things#badly w anyone like i have no ill will towards anyone ive ever been with i love them all and wish them the best#but babygirl is crazy insecure so when i said i was on a date w someone from highschool she already made assumptions about who it was#i never clarified but im pretty sure she already had that thought in her head so even if it was someone different theres no convincing her#LOL ALL THIS TO SAY that earlier this month i went out with this same girl but not on an official#just going out bc we are cool and our past is behind us and we get along and everything and it was fun obv#but the day before i was on call w my ex and she was like what are u doing tomorrow? and i knew i was at the worst crossroad#bc on one side: if i am not honest and i make any hint on any social media (which i totally can bc its my life) she’ll feel some type of way#but if im honest and she starts pestering me about who it is and finds out its this girl then she’ll feel some type of way#lose/lose situation so i decide to just be honest w her I RESPECT HER EVEN THO I SHOULDNT and im straight up w her#immediately her demeanour changes. bro she has a chart for BABIES so i already know im fucked#shes like is it a date? and i say no we’re just doing this and this just hanging out but its already too late but i convince her and clarify#before she asked me abt my plans she was like can i text u tomorrow? i was like sure and the next afternoon comes around and shes ghosted me#so im like let me be the bigger person so im not rude and im considerate and polite so i hit her up#immediately she has an attitude and i can FEEL it so im like ok whats up#and after some pushing bc bitch CANNOT share her emotions she goes idk i just felt uneasy w the situation it just felt like a date#SPEECHLESS. 1. ITS NONE OF UR BUSINESS 2. I CLARIFIED TO U A DAY BEFORE THAT IT WASNT EVEN THL I HAD NO REASON TO 3. SEE NUMBER 1?????#she was SO far out of line and i absolutely told her so and she was just so so SELFISH about the whole situation i was like THIS IS NOT#ABOUT YOU like i was literally appalled#again i reiterate i dont think i rlly wanna be w this girl in anything committed its just the way i feel but for her to think she has a say#in how i go about going out w other people when she is NOT MY GF ANYMORE and i have offered her ENDLESS CHANCES. APPALLED#and i am aware that these are bad things. she has given me a bad feeling in my stomach since the day i met her i literally wrote it in my#daily journal and i had no clue why bc i didnt know her at that point so i gave her a chance but the universe was TRYING TO HELP ME#its so sad that my first true physical lesbian relationship was so emotionally manipulative but i cant escape the physical attraction#thats the last thing i need to get over before im free of her but it is so wrong for her to think she can trap me!!! like no one else can#touch me!!! let me go and get some professional help!!!!#fun fact i spent the entirety of our official relationship pushing her to get therapy bc i wanted us to work so bad and she heavily resisted#until well after we were broken up and even tho she is not consistent w it and hasnt been in it long term she expects me to see enough#change to trust her again. BYE BYE GOODBYE LMFAO KAHDKSHDKAJFISKF i deserve better but im also doing this on purpose so i dont deserve it#quite yet
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