#its so frustrating every position im in (three right now. for some reason) keeps hemorraging people im not going to spell that word right
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guy who’s supposed to be training me in my new position apparently walked out today and so i get to do an opening shift on my own tomorrow with no other coworkers since there are like two other people who even work this job right now and maybe four hours of experience+training under my belt and i’m feeling soooooo good about it (lying)
#had the worst shift of my life on saturday and after a few days off well it is back to this!#its so frustrating every position im in (three right now. for some reason) keeps hemorraging people im not going to spell that word right#and because i am very reliable it means i get to do the work of like three people at once all the time. on my own.#i'm fucking miserable about it i didn't even want to take this position but it pays more#so i can pay rent for whatever fucking place will have us when the lease is up which is looking like NOWHERE#puts head in hands. its so fucking bad right now i need to get into substances desperately#being this aware is making me the most stressed out apocalpyse-brained version of myself and its unbearable#i am so full of dread and terror and i am so tired and i have NOTHING else to distract myself from it#and i tend to isolate when im like this (always) and thats making it so much worse#i am doing so badly and i cannot claw my way out of it there is something seriously seriously wrong with me#god i am so sorry this is all i do now i need to queue things or something. break it up some
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